Mass Effect: Delving into Hell
by stnemele
Summary: CDR Shepard and his best friend, LCDR Cassiopeia "Ci-Ci" Corinthia, find themselves thrown into Hell itself time and time again, with only each other for support. Story will span from before ME1-ME3. Shepard/OC. Rated M for language/violence/suggestion. Under revision. Last Update: 10/21/2013
1. Humble Beginnings

**_Author's Note: _**_This story follows both Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy and Cassiopeia Corinthia (Ci-Ci, my OC). Though detailed, I have not explained all the details of the _Mass Effect_ world. If you are unfamiliar with the universe, some things may not make sense. I apologize for this, but I have done my best to make this accessible to everyone. _Mass Effect_'s world is extremely detailed and I do not usually write sci-fi of any kind. However, I humbly submit this for your consideration and enjoyment. Be aware that I write as if I am writing original fiction, so I will be explaining and describing races/concepts/things/events that those familiar with the _Mass Effect_ universe will already know._

_The events of this story take place before the first _Mass Effect _game through _Mass Effect 3 _(planned, to be completed once the game is released). I am aware that this is a massive undertaking (rivaled only by trying to write a character through all seven_ Harry Potter _books) and I am aware of why the majority of people read stories here. So, I will do my best to keep things well-paced, intriguing, and interesting. Due to the expanse of the game, I am presenting things as vingiettes, at times, rather than continuous narrative. There is a reason that I put the date/location of almost every event. Weeks/Months/Years will pass between episodes and I will NOT, in all likelihood, be mentioning it immediately in the narration. However, when I go back in time (flashback), I WILL draw attention to it._

_For those familiar with _Mass Effect_, Commander Shepard begins as a renegade and slowly becomes a paragon. He has an Earthborn/Ruthless background. However, he and Ci-Ci have participated in all three background events._

_This is a Shepard/OC pairing. I feature Liara as a lead character because she is, in a sense, the third "main" character in the story, though, I warn you, this thing is almost entirely Shepard/Ci-Ci._

_Last but not least, a big shout-out to my editors, GoogleFloobs and LeroyZanzibar. Go check out their stories (**The Butcher** and **Mass Effect: Friend of a Hero** respectively). I owe them a lot, especially for their patience with my agonizing and perfectionist tendencies._

**_This story is currently under revision. Un-revised chapters have "Unrevised:" before the title. Revised chapters will be unmarked. For a detailed description of the changes, see Chp. 59 "Author's Explanatory Note: An Update"._**

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

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><p><strong>11 April 2172—Los Angeles, United North American States, Earth, Sol System<strong>

John Shepard slowly backed out of the building. The Tenth Street Reds stared at him in shock, awe, and confusion. How could he, one of their own, betray them like that? Especially _him_? They'd been certain he'd become —

His biotics flared around his fists. They all understood his warning without him saying a word: Follow me and you die.

He could feel the blood burning on his face. Ash and debris clung to his clothes. If he was right in his thinking, he'd just started a war. That hadn't been the plan, but, then again, he hadn't really had a plan to begin with. The only thing he knew was how it was going to end; all he had to do was get out of the door.

The moment he was certain the Reds weren't going to follow him, he turned his back to the building, pulled up his hood, thrust his hands into his pockets, and exited the area as quickly as he could. Sirens echoed in the distance as they came to inspect the source of the smoke.

Admittedly, Shepard _had_ outdone himself. He was seven — no, he was eighteen. He'd turned eighteen at midnight. As if he could have the self-control necessary to stop his biotics from blowing up a wall. And pipes. And fuses, not to mention the head of the Reds. So, yeah, he was a murderer. The Reds would never rat on him. They knew what he was capable of.

After pacing the path to the Alliance Recruitment Center nearly one hundred times, Shepard's feet carried him without him having to see his path. His senses were still focused on any potential pursuit. Maybe he was practicing to be a soldier, but fighting was the only thing that made sense to him. It was the only thing he was good at.

So, in a desperate attempt to leave behind a life of crime, he was going to sell his soul to the government devil and follow even stupider orders.

He stopped in front of the Center, his heart pounding in his chest. He had never been this nervous in his life. What if they didn't take him? What if they knew that he was a murder, thief, liar, traitor?

"Just do it, Shepard," he growled through clenched teeth. He took a deep breath and stepped inside.

It was as if the world had stopped existing. He couldn't hear the shouts, horns, or anything of the outside. Even the room smelled sterile, tinted with some kind of flower air freshener... Whatever the Alliance was trying to say, floral was not the way to go. Though, at this point, Shepard didn't care. He had nowhere else to go, and flowers were sure as hell better than cigarettes, red sand, piss, and blood.

He grimaced at the orange-tinted holo-images of happy men and women of all races standing behind the Systems Alliance flag. They saluted as the systems anthem played, steel cruisers flying overhead. The front desk had a rose-colored marble counter, scattered with stacks of flyers about the various sectors of the Alliance Military. As young as he was, Shepard was too jaded to even begin to think that a single moment of service was going to be like that.

The recruiting officer, a man in his forties with non-commissioned officer bars and dandruff on his shoulders, raised an eyebrow and set down his pen.

"Can I help you?" he asked critically. Kids who looked like Shepard were generally pulling some kind of prank.

Shepard stepped up. "Yeah, I'd like to enlist in the Academy and N7."

N7 was the elite Alliance training program at the Academy for their Spec Ops group, only open to the best of the best. It wasn't just for Academy grads, but Shepard wanted to get the designation as soon as possible. Then again, he was praying that he would qualify. He was smart, but he hadn't been able to get away for long enough to attend high school. He'd secretly gotten his GED months before, readying for this moment. He would do anything to escape and prove his potential. In his mind, the Alliance Navy was the only way to do that.

The officer rolled his eyes. He'd heard that more times that he liked, mostly from underage punks with stupid names like "Dick Wadd" or "Jer Koff". They could at least have been a bit more creative and less obvious.

"Son, this is a government institution. If you walk in here, you're expected to show the proper respect. Now, are you really here to enlist?"

"Yes, sir, I am." Shepard pulled back his hood. He had bright blue eyes, the remains of a beard from the day before, eye-length black hair, and a jaw set that made it clear he'd had a rough life. He had a recent scar on his chin, probably something from a fight, and looked quite a bit stronger than most raw recruits. From the looks of things, he'd just walked out of a collapsing building as well. The Alliance didn't want a tough guy; they wanted the average person who could sit and take orders. Shepard's haircut screamed that he'd give his drill sergeant the middle finger and never show an ounce of respect.

Then the officer met Shepard's eyes. They didn't belong to some street punk; they belonged to someone who had been through countless wars, survived, and was still ready to fight more. There was intelligence there, though maybe not from books, only enhanced by a blazing passion unlike any the officer had ever seen. Shepard's gaze went beyond determination. It was like looking at someone you knew would become a hero one day. That was exactly what N7 wanted.

"This isn't a place to hide, son. You come here to make a commitment."

"I understand, sir," Shepard answered shortly, not moving to even attempt to clean off his face.

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"Are you sure?" The officer would've thought him at least in his mid-twenties.

"It's my birthday today."

"That's a little young… The average age of enlistment is twenty-five."

"I want to go into the N7 program," Shepard pressed, hiding his desperation. If he didn't get away from the Reds then, he never would. They would rally in forty-eight hours and come looking for him with a vengeance.

"N7 only accepts the best of the best. It's the toughest program of everything in the Alliance. They haven't accepted an NCO in years."

"I know. I can handle it."

"That's a lot of confidence."

"I don't do anything unless I know I'll succeed." Shepard cracked his knuckles. It was something he did when he was nervous, not meant to intimidate. Still, the recruiting officer quickly grabbed the application and held it out.

"Fill this out. You'll need to submit DNA for a background check and drug screen. Have a seat while you fill it out."

Shepard took the pad and sat in a chair in the corner. He only knew half of the information. That's what he got for growing up on the streets. He never knew his parents and all his friends had been gang members. That was how he got into the Tenth Street Reds to begin with, but he was done with being xenophobic, done with drug running, done with breaking the law. He was going to make a new life for himself, and the Alliance Navy was the only place that would take a parentless delinquent.

Then again, Shepard had spent his entire savings to forge a clean record for himself. The Alliance would never even know that he'd been a part of the Reds, or any gang for that matter. He was just John Mark Shepard, orphan, and that was what his DNA scan would show instead of a list of arrests (but luckily no convictions).

He pulled his hood back up as a group of people looked through the window. If the Reds saw him... No, it didn't matter now. They couldn't do anything with an officer right there. If they came back later, he'd be a soldier and they wouldn't be able to touch him. He'd have a squad at his back and the Reds would run scared.

Shepard went back to the counter. "I don't know all the information here. I'm an orphan and grew up on the streets." He wasn't proud of it, nor was he ashamed. It was just a fact.

"The DNA scan can fill in everything else. Hold out your hand."

Shepard did. The recruiting officer passed a wand over Shepard's hand. He felt the heat of decontamination, followed by a strange tingling feeling. The officer nodded, satisfied, and eyed Shepard's perfect GED scores with astonishment. "Well, Mr. Shepard, you seem to match our base qualifications… But we'll still need to do our own examination."

"Sure."

"Do you have any drug history?"

"No."

Shepard was not stupid. Even if he had run and dealt drugs for the Reds, he wasn't about to use them. A smart drug dealer had to be clean and never, ever, partake in any kind of vice. Besides, it was just idiotic. Like he needed them to escape.

"You understand that there will still be tests to confirm this."

"Yeah."

"Okay. Go in the back. Dr. Chakwas's door is the second on the left."

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><p><strong>7 November 2175—Alliance Military Recruitment Center, Zakera Ward, Citadel<strong>

Of all the Wards on the Citadel, the Zakera Ward was the most colorful, vibrant, and full of life. Lights flashed, people shouted, advertisements tried to make you buy asari burial robes, and the scent of food for all species lay heavy in the air. As a merchant ward, beings of all economic levels were there, haggling for their goods.

Cassiopeia Iphigenia Corinthia-Imreas—Ci-Ci to her friends—held up a holo-map, trying to find her way to the Alliance Recruitment Center. She had already been to the Embassy on the Presidium, where the Embassies for various species were located, as well as the Citadel Council. The Presidium was the heart and soul of the galaxy, and yet the Human Embassy couldn't give accurate directions to their recruiting station.

She stood before Avina, the Citadel's VI. The purple holo-woman cocked her head to one side. "Greetings. I am Avina. How may I assist you?"

Ci-Ci scratched her head. "Well, I need to find the Alliance Recruiting Office…"

Avina spouted off the directions. Ci-Ci copied them onto her omni-tool, an orange holographic device located on a person's non-dominant forearm that acted as a personal computer, communicator, and data store. It looked like she holding a large, orange ring in her hand which attached to a gauntlet of the same color. She thought it looked a little bit like a squid with a pacifier.

"Right, thanks," she murmured. She programmed her omni-tool to project an arrow pointing along the path she needed to take and set off. She felt like an idiot. She had spent the majority of her life on the Citadel and yet she felt like she was in a new city. The more she thought about it, the more sense it made.

The Citadel was a space station that was home to billions of people of all species. It consisted of a center loop with four arms, like a flower, cradled in the center of the Widow Nebula. Built by the Protheans 50,000 years before, it housed the Citadel Council, the galactic government. The three species that contributed the most to the galaxy—the asari, turians, and salarians—had one Councilor each who created laws and upheld justice.

The asari were an entirely female species. They were, for all intents and purposes, immortal, only dying when killed or when they chose to. They could live to be thousands of years old, if they wished. All asari looked much like any human female, in terms of body structure. They had blue or purple skin and smoothed-back head tentacles, which looked very much like hair. They were usually highly skilled biotics and considered to be one of the wisest species in the galaxy. Unfortunately, their femininity also led them to be underestimated amongst other more patriarchal species. They freaked Ci-Ci out, mostly because they could mate with any gender of any species and always have an asari child. Asari weren't asexual; they could just take the DNA of someone else and create the missing chromosomes needed to produce a child.

Turians were the warriors. They had large chests, tiny waists, and bow legs. Their skin was scaly and plated, like armor. They had black eyes, crests very similar to an asari's, and a flat beak-like mouth. Ci-Ci saw them as the missing link between birds and dinosaurs, like a velociraptor that evolved into sentience… and having a flat face. Turians were powerful and intimidating opponents on any field. They believed in honor, integrity, and loyalty. Any turian who disagreed was banished or worse. The humans and turians did not get along well, since the humans had started the First Contact War with the turians simply because the humans were xenophobic and afraid of anything new. Though the war was over, many turians and humans still harbored dislike for one another.

Salarians were a highly intelligent, amphibian species that had been part of the Citadel Council for centuries. To Ci-Ci, they looked quite a bit like the 1950s and 1960s interpretations of aliens, with smooth skin, large slanted eyes with indiscernible pupils, slits for their nose, and two curling horns atop their heads. They could think at the speed of lightning, were highly calculating, and considered to be the technological pioneers of the galaxy. Unfortunately, their hyperactive metabolisms caused few to survive to their forties. Thus, salarians developed much more quickly than all the other species in space.

Humanity was doing everything in their power to get a seat on the Council, but the majority of the space-faring races said that it was too soon. After all, humanity had only been a part of the galactic community for twenty-eight years (beginning in 2157).

Ci-Ci could've cared less. She just wanted to have some sense of direction with her life. She hadn't spoken to her father in years, her mother was long dead, and she didn't know anyone other than some friends from school who were now members of the salarian Special Tasks Group (STG). They had made it quite clear that she couldn't safely contact them.

She didn't want to continue with school, either, if it was anything like she had experienced.

She and three other children had been enlisted in a special, experimental salarian exchange school program in 2165. Ci-Ci had been the only child to continue, completing the salarian education in 10 years. Though most sixteen-year-old salarians already had tenure, Ci-Ci had just finished her last year of college and was done with learning. She wanted to explore the galaxy, see more than Elysium and the Citadel. She wanted to follow in her mother's footsteps. Captain Catherine Corinthia had graduated from the Academy's N7 program with the highest honors and had been in charge of the _SSV Geneva_. She was killed in action whilst defending her ship from a group of pro-human terrorists called Cerberus. Though Cerberus failed to actually take the ship, they had taken Ci-Ci's mother.

Ci-Ci finally found the recruiting station. It wasn't well marked, with just a simple holo-banner above the doorway reading _Alliance Recruitment Offices_. She took a deep breath and stepped inside. The only sound was the hum of the air processing units, cooling and venting the recycled oxygen. Several men in their casual blue uniforms stood in one corner, clearly discussing something important from the way their heads were together.

Behind the reception desk, the secretary typed away at her monitor. Her eyes were red and glazed over. She'd clearly had a very long day and was not eager to see someone else walk through the doors.

"Do you have an appointment?" she asked wearily.

"No. I want to enlist in the Academy," Ci-Ci said, trying to sound confident. "N7, too, if I can manage it."

The secretary rummaged and found a data pad for Corinthia to fill out. "Take this and—"

Ci-Ci had her omni-tool out and waved it, the data pad filling in completely. "What?" Ci-Ci asked innocently. "It's not illegal, and I'll submit to whatever DNA testing you want to prove it's me."

The secretary rolled her eyes. "A DNA test is required for all hoping to join the Academy. Please hold out your hand."

Ci-Ci did, enjoying the sensation of decontamination. She'd always liked it, though she had no idea why. She also didn't know why she had an adoration for fuzzy things, mountains, and driving an all-terrain vehicle far more quickly than was advisable.

"I see you're… overqualified, Miss Corinthia-Imreas," the secretary muttered, seeing Corinthia's résumé. "Have a seat. The Captain will see you shortly."

Corinthia sat in one of the chairs along the far wall, trying not to fidget. She failed and ended up fiddling with her omni-tool, perfecting a program that could open any locked door at will. Was it illegal? Yes. Did she care? No. She wouldn't use it… probably. Maybe. Not for anything illegal, at least. Unless it was hilarious.

A handsome soldier with cold blue eyes and military-grade short hair walked in, greeting, "Millie, I've got the reports for Captain Hackett."

The secretary held out her hand. "I'll take them, Lieutenant."

"He wanted me to deliver them personally."

The secretary seemed relieved: It was one less thing for her to do. "Oh, very well. Have a seat."

The Lieutenant sat in a seat across from Ci-Ci. She grinned at him and continued to fidget with her omni-tool.

Shepard's first thought was that she was too young to enlist. His second was that she was too pretty to enlist. All the Alliance girls were… butch. She was not. She had soft, smooth, brown hair; light hazel eyes; tanned, olive skin; and curves. Lots of curves. Or, at least, her dress made it look like she did. What sort of a girl came into a place like this looking like she was supposed to be going to a club?

He checked his thoughts and stared at the reports in his hands. They were extremely dull and about the proper hull density for a ship. The girl's nose appeared in his peripheral vision.

"How come you've got turian research?"

Shepard looked up. "What?"

"That's turian research."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "What's your point?"

"Well, there are rumors of the turians and humans working together to engineer a stealth ship. It needs a minimum hull density of three thousand grams per millimeter in order to be small enough to be undetected except visually, but large enough to handle going through the mass relays."

Mass relays were massive structures that enabled travel between the different star systems, as long as there was another mass relay. It was these relays and the discovery of element zero that led to the creation of the mass effect core, which powered every ship that traveled the galaxy.

He narrowed his eyes dangerously. "And you know the contents of this report how?"

She shied away, turned off her omni-tool, and grinned sheepishly. "I saw the title and did the math."

"In your head?"

"Well, I checked it on the omni-tool, but yeah." She blushed faintly and tucked her hair behind her ear. "What? It's perfectly normal, isn't it?"

"No, it isn't."

"Oh, right. Sorry. I'm not used to interacting with humans."

He gritted his teeth impatiently; he didn't like talkative people... or teenagers. There was no way she was much older than eighteen.

She didn't get the hint and kept chatting away. "I went to a salarian school. Don't ask; it's complicated. And weird, I guess, but, yeah…" She laughed nervously. "I guess I'll have to learn. Are you a biotic?"

"Huh?" Her sudden change in subjects took him by surprise.

"Are you a biotic?" she repeated.

"What's it matter?"

She shrugged. "Just sounds cool, you know? To have all that power..."

Shepard felt himself warming up to her a little, mostly because she was slowly becoming awed by him. He liked it when people looked up at him. "It isn't. Really. Fine, it is, but not when you're Alliance. You can't really do anything with it."

"Try for Black Ops."

"Can't for another three years."

"Try for the Spectres."

"They don't let humans in."

"You're just a Debbie-Downer, aren't you?"

"A what?"

She giggled. "A cynic. No-Not. Complainer."

"I don't complain."

"That's what all tough guys say." She suddenly extended her hand, almost hitting him in the chest. "I'm Ci-Ci."

He didn't shake it; he never did. "John Shepard."

She sheepishly withdrew her hand. "Don't you have a rank to go with that?"

He pointed to the bars on his shoulder. "Lieutenant."

"Okay, LT Johnny Shep, it's nice to meet you." She grinned and stared at the magazines on the side table, hardly noticing him wince at the nickname. "Seriously? How does 'Attack of the Mutant Squid' qualify as good writing? People these days…"

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you want to join the navy?" If she did and he was assigned with her, he'd go insane.

"Why not?"

"You're too…"

"Girly?"

"...Perky."

She laughed. "Someone has to be. I'll let you know what my drill sergeant thinks."

"If you have Banes, tell him 'Hi' from me."

"Did he like you?"

"No."

"Then I think I'll remain a network-less maggot."

Shepard leaned forward. "Seriously, kid, you don't belong here. You're not ready for this."

She smirked evilly. "That's what she said."

Captain Hackett appeared right as Shepard, Corinthia, and the receptionist started laughing. Well, in Shepard's case, he was smirking in amusement. Hackett had never seen that kind of an expression on the Lieutenant's face before.

But the Captain wasn't going to spend too much time thinking about it. There was business to attend to.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked.

Shepard and the receptionist stood and saluted. "No, sir!"

"Good. Shepard, I'll see you in a moment. Miss Corinthia-Imreas. The salarian Councilor said that you'd be coming by. Please, this way." He gestured to his office. Ci-Ci went in before him, feeling embarrassed and pleased that she'd got such personal invitation.

"You've got quite the résumé, not that you would need it. I would've let you into the Academy without any of this. I'm also going to overlook the fact that you should be eighteen to enlist."

"I never heard that law before, sir."

"It's a guideline, not a law, put there to make sure that everyone who went into the Academy was legally there by choice. Your salarian schooling will put you miles ahead of most everyone, and if you're anything like your mother when it comes to getting the job done, you're going to be the best addition to the Alliance Military since Jon Grissom."

Jon Grissom had been the man to lead the expedition through the Charon Relay, near Pluto in the Sol System, and had founded the first human colony of Elysium.

"What about the Brass? Won't they get angry that you let me in?"

"Miss Corinthia-Im—"

"Ci-Ci, please, sir."

"Ci-Ci, you're already considered a prodigy."

She already had three vastly different degrees from a well-known salarian university and, though not necessarily a straight "A" student, she was still extremely bright. Her parents had been two of the first people through the Charon Relay, had settled on Elysium, and had been adamant that their new baby daughter get the right kind of education. At six, after her mother's death, she was enrolled in a salarian school, where you're expected to finish your entire education in a matter of years. She chose to have a broad education rather than an extremely focused one, but she had still graduated from college at the age of fifteen. Of the four human children in that experimental program, she had been the only one to successfully adapt to salarian-style learning. She learned astoundingly quickly and had trained herself to have a near photo- and audiographic memory. Her head was packed with useless trivia, mostly from the entertainment industry, and her almost ADHD mind left her easily distracted and too creative for her own good.

"The Brass would be insane not to let you in," Hackett continued. "I hope you have your bags packed."

She grinned. "Thank you, sir."

"You'll have to wait for the official acceptance, Ci-Ci, but we'll contact you soon. Good day."

She shook his hand and left, suppressing doing a happy dance in the hall. Shepard ran directly into her. "Sorry," she giggled. "It was nice to meet you, LT. Looking forward to working with you."

She skipped away, Shepard watching her from the doorway. Hackett coughed. "Shepard…"

Shepard turned to Hackett. "Sir?"

"That look you gave her never bodes well for officers and the fraternization laws."

"She's just a kid, sir."

"I'm not so sure, but come in. You have some reports for me?"


	2. The Skyllian Blitz

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

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><p><strong>22 February 2176—Elysium, Skyllian Verge<strong>

Corinthia dodged into cover, if you could even call the remains of a concrete wall cover. Her omni-tool was working overtime, intercepting and processing pirate transmissions into mute radio buzz. Her captain stood in front of her, shouting commands that no one could hear.

"Sir!" she interrupted. "Your radio isn't functioning. Here. Let me."

She ran her omni-tool over his and then continued to jam frequencies.

"Ci-Ci, what the hell are you doing?" he demanded, hardly giving her a glance.

"Making sure that the stupid pirates can't communicate!"

"That's not your job! You're supposed to be shooting!"

"Gibson was blasted into bits ten minutes ago! Someone has to do it!" She fixed a sniper's sight—an earpiece with a monocle-like attachment that acted as a scope and could pick out targets and identify their range—over her right eye and took out her rifle. She practically fell onto her belly, went prone, and began squeezing off rounds, her sight tallying kills and shots taken. Her hit-to-kill ratio was 9:8. Not good enough.

"Idiot batarians and their shields…" she muttered.

Batarians were a four-eyed species with pointed teeth, lumpy heads, and humanoid bodies. They were aggressive, isolated, and loved war more than the turians. Batarians were often mercenaries, slavers, or enforcers—anything that would give them a shot at blood.

If it weren't for the battle, the morning might have been beautiful. The sun wasn't quite up and the sky was a purply pink with orange clouds. Smoke billowed on the horizon from the remains of skyscrapers, buildings, and homes. The colonists and militia, under the supervision of the Alliance soldiers there either stationed there or on leave, had retreated to a more defensible location in the ruins of the main banking area. Unlike most colonies, where buildings were modular, Elysium's buildings were built to last and ended up looking like a combination of New York City and Los Angeles. The air was heavy with smoke and the scent of charred flesh.

Corinthia was trying desperately to ignore the fact that her father lived only a few hundred yards away. She'd seen him running around, attending to the wounded, but other than the brief and uncomfortable meeting of eyes, they'd had no communication whatsoever.

"Ci-Ci! Get me Alliance Command!"

"Sir!" She rolled onto her back. Her omni-tool whirred to life, casting an eerie orange glow across her face. "C'mon, you stupid thing. I just programmed you to do this yesterday…"

"CI-CI?"

"I'M WORKING ON IT!" She spun her fingers through her omni-tool, a panel popping up and giving her readouts of all the radio transmissions in the area. She poked at one of them. The other lines faded and she opened another window, this time with a list of all places that would accept a transmission. She scanned it quickly and finally selected the _SSV Hong Kong_.

"Hello? Anyone there? This is Ensign Corinthia-Imreas of the Fifth Fleet. Is anyone anywhere nearby? Elysium is under attack. Repeat, Elysium is under attack. Any help you could send would be more than wonderful."

She began to set it on repeat, but she received an answer before she could finish the settings.

"Ci-Ci, this is Admiral Hackett. What's the situation?"

Corinthia sent up a prayer of thanks. A grenade exploded in front of her, shaking her senses.

"Corinthia, are you there?" Hackett asked. "Ci-Ci!"

She blinked, trying to clear her sight. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Granted."

She took a deep breath and blurted, "There are batarians and pirates dropping in left and right. We're taking heavy casualties, civilian and non. It was a damn ambush. We are being clustercussed by these bastards. Where the hell's the fleet?"

"Easy there, Corinthia." She was patient and could generally handle herself. Almost as soon as she had completed her basic training, she had been called out for a special mission with the STG. She had even been nominated for the salarian equivalent to the human Star of Terra (formerly called Medal of Honor, among other titles), the Silver Dagger, and was up for an early promotion to lieutenant.

"Sorry, sir, but we're taking heavy casualties," she answered, as calmly as she could. "We were outnumbered ten to one to begin with and that number's rising in their favor as we speak. We don't have the resources to fight back. We might be able to ho—"

Another explosion wracked the barricade, throwing her back twenty feet. She landed on a pile of debris and rolled down into the area below, completely unaware of anything that was happening around her.

"Corinthia?" Hackett demanded. "Corinthia!"

She was concussed. Her head was spinning and her vision was blurred. She couldn't hear anything and, within seconds, her ears were ringing worse than after standing in front of the speakers at a metal concert.

It took nearly two minutes for her regain enough consciousness to slur into her radio, "Get your ass down here, Admiral. We need help."

She let her head fall back, eyes stinging as blood mixed with her tears. She must've been injured in the explosion. "Figures…"

As soon as she raised her head, dizziness kicked in. She put a palm against her throbbing temple, touching something wet and slightly sticky and immediately recognizing it as blood.

"Damn…"

"Ci-Ci? Are you okay?" Hackett continued. "Answer me! That's an order!"

"I'm here, Admiral," she answered groggily. "Just got fragged…"

"Then find a medic. You're the only contact I've got."

She pressed a few buttons on her omni-tool and felt the cool calm of medi-gel—the soldier's panacea and temporary treatment for most injuries—as it washed over her wounds. Though by no means healed, she had enough ability to move about (though her concussion wasn't much better).

"Okay, I'm up and moving." She waited for her vision to un-double before holding up her omni-tool again, scanning the area. There were far fewer Alliance soldiers than when they'd started. That was not good.

"What do you want me to do, Admiral?" she panted weakly.

"Take charge. As far as anyone's concerned, you're Captain Imreas. You answer directly to me, is that clear?"

"Yessir." Praying that she wouldn't be court martialed, she took cover behind a bombed-out Mako—an all-terrain vehicle the size of a dump truck—and continued working on her omni-tool.

The pirates were easily winning the battle. They had five men for every one of Corinthia's, were better equipped, and had the element of surprise. She would have to work hard to push the battle in her favor, but she could do it. She didn't have a choice.

She found the Alliance radio frequencies and opened a channel to all of them. After a deep breath, she began in a voice far more authoritative than her own, "Everyone, this is Captain Imreas. Listen up and listen well. We have to hold this line. I know we're being pounded by these bastards, but we can kick their asses twice as hard as they're kicking ours. I want you to form a perimeter around the colony. If you're an officer, send me a beep. I want to know who you are, where you are, and how many people you have with you."

She received nearly twenty beeps within the next couple of minutes. "Thank you, Lord," she breathed. Despite being raised by scientists, she still managed to believe in God. It made things simpler.

One man actually hailed her.

"Imreas," she answered, coordinating orders on another section of her omni-tool.

"This is Captain Miller. I don't recall any Captain Imreas stationed here," came a growl into her earpiece.

"Admiral Hackett placed me in command here, Captain. I can put you in contact with him, if you like, but he'll just tell you the same thing that I did."

"I'll take your word for it then, Imreas. This whole thing is a mess. What do you want me to do?"

"I'm finishing orders right now. Transmitting." She pressed a button and sent the plans. "Okay, everyone. I want twelve separate divisions along the perimeter. Captain Miller, take the North quadrant. Captain Thompson, the West. Captain Hawkins, the East. Commander Swinn, the South. Organize within those perimeters however you want, just let me know via data transfer. Don't worry about hacking: There's no way in hell that those damned pirates can get through my nets."

"Is anyone there?" someone else asked. "This is Doctor Chakwas at the hospital."

"This is Captain Imreas. Go ahead."

"We have plenty of beds and people willing to help with the wounded. I'll send you our location."

"Thanks, Doctor. I'm sorry to say that we'll need you." Ci-Ci realized who she was talking to and radioed back. "Is there a Dr. Imreas there?"

"Yes, there is. Why?"

"I—Tell him that Ci-Ci's here and that she's sorry for everything. That she loves him."

"I'll convey the message, Ci-Ci. He never stops talking about you."

"I… Thanks, but now's not the time for chatting."

Ci-Ci switched interfaces and opened the pirates' communication channels. She deftly hacked into their system and uploaded several viruses to slow them down and misinform them of Alliance movements.

A group of soldiers dodged into cover beside her.

"I'm Lieutenant Shepard. We're here to cover you, ma'am," the leader told her. He didn't sound at all happy about it, either, as if he had better things he could be doing.

"That's nice. Wanna be an XO?" Ci-Ci asked distractedly. She didn't really care if he'd be a good executive officer or not; she just needed someone. "Wait, did you say 'Shepard'?" She squinted, trying to get a good look at his face.

"Ci-Ci?" he answered, as shocked to see her as he was that he remembered her. She didn't look like a girl anymore. She had hardened and thinned, not to mention that she was covered in soot and blood. Two cuts ran down the right side of her face like a river. Though they were not bleeding, Shepard could tell that they would start again soon. The fading remnants of medi-gel had stopped any burns from forming and a good deal of her hair was matted with blood and debris.

She looked like a Valkyrie.

"How the hell did you become a Captain?" he demanded.

"Admiral Hackett gave me orders." She motioned him closer. "Look, Shepard, I'm not sure that I'm ready for this. Please. I'll need help."

She wasn't trying to look like a sick puppy, but she was succeeding.

"And you're sure as hell going to need it," he replied. "Let me guess your plan: hold the line?"

"Yep, that's about as far as I got. I'm going to sync our omni-tools and ensure that we're on the same page."

"How the hell can you do that?"

"Let's say that I was stuck in a room for ten years with only this for entertainment. I figured out how to do a lot of things that I shouldn't know how to do."

"Like reprogramming an omni-tool to do far more than it should?"

She shrugged. "It's doing its job, isn't it?"

"Report," Hackett radioed.

"I've organized the perimeter. So far things look solid. I've got Lieutenant John Shepard as an XO."

Shepard stared at her, wondering how she could have gone from begging to hardened. She hardly looked the same. She held a finger up to silence him.

"Good. I'm glad you two came into contact, Ci-Ci. He knows what he's doing. We're coming as soon as we can. I do have good news: it looks like there aren't any other enemy ships in your area."

"Thanks, Admiral. Corinthia out." She let out a slow breath. "Shepard, what are your qualifications?"

"What do you mean, ma'am?"

"Ci-Ci, please. I mean, what skills do you have?"

"I'm a biotic and one hell of a good shot with a pistol or assault rifle. I wouldn't suggest getting in my way."

"Are you scared of a bit of gunfire?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow. Had she not _seen_ him? He had enemy blood splattered across his face and armor, his eyes were blazing, and his finger was on the trigger. "No. Why?"

She grinned. "Because we're going in. C'mon."

She leapt over the barricade and sprinted towards the pirate line. With a smirk (and little other choice), Shepard followed.

Chasing Corinthia down was more of a challenge than he expected. She was extremely fast and was doing something to stop any and all shots from hitting her. He caught up with her and pulled her into his biotic barrier.

"You're going to get killed!" he hissed, not looking as he shot a pirate between the eyes.

"No, I'm not. Listen, Shep, I know how to take out most of these guys." She didn't flinch as a volley whizzed by her head. Actually, she didn't seem to have noticed it at all. "I know how to disrupt their communications… All of them. Not just jammed, I mean take them all out for good."

Several more shots flew dangerously close to her head and she still remained oblivious. He dragged her into better cover behind a fallen wall before she got herself killed. He could only hope that she wasn't as oblivious or idiotic at she was acting.

"And just how do we do that?" he demanded.

She turned on her omni-tool and projected a holo-map onto the ground before them. She pointed to a tower. "They set this up. When we take it out, they won't be able to communicate. From there we can pick them off like assassins."

"Assassins?"

She grinned childishly. "Yeah! We could find hoods and everything!"

"...Why hoods?"

"Oh, never mind. Well, the best way to go in is here…"

"No, no. There isn't enough cover. I'm a good biotic, but I can't protect both of us for that long." He indicated a new path. "This way we can minimize exposure and maximize kills."

"Yeah, but they've got turrets stationed and we'd be in range and clear sight. I don't have the equipment to take them out."

"I saw a pirate with a rocket launcher. Steal that and you can use it while I create singularities nearby. I think we can handle it."

Corinthia thought for a moment. "We have enough time to test it out. Can you hit that one over the ridge?"

He checked. "I think so. Now for a rocket launcher… I'll be right back."

Corinthia watched in shock (or, really, awe) as he darted off and returned with a massive gun. "I actually don't know what it is, but I think it'll work," he said, handing it to her.

"Shepard, you've found me a baby. I'm going to name him… Xerxes."

"Xerxes? Like the Persian King?"

"Yep. This is an M-49 Cain. In the wrong hands, it could remake Hiroshima, but without the fallout."

"And in yours?"

She winked. "Several very dead turrets and you getting your way."

She stood, didn't flinch as two bullets embedded themselves into her right shoulder, and created a massive explosion that took out half of the line. She grinned at Shepard and joined him behind the wall. The earth vibrated and a blast of heat surged around them. Corinthia's hair blew out of its tie and fell around her face, showing that the cuts went well back into her hairline.

"You should get someone to see to that," he told her, indicating the wound.

"When this is through."

"You're not any good to me like this."

"I already put medi-gel on it. It isn't stinging like it's burning anymore."

"It doesn't look burned, but…"

Her smile faltered. "How bad is it?"

"You're lucky you can still see. It's only a half-inch from your eye." He barely had enough tact to not tell her people probably wouldn't see her as pretty anymore, unless they found massive and near-disfiguring facial scarring attractive.

She raised a hand as if to touch the wound, thought better, and lowered it. "Let's go. We have pirates to kill."

As they wove their way towards the tower, she seemed overly sober, as if all the fun has suddenly vanished. Normally when soldiers' faces relaxed, they gained lines; hers lost them. Shepard blinked; She really was just a kid.

"Just how old are you?" he blurted before he knew it.

"Old enough."

"That's not an answer."

"And what will it change?" she snapped. Her eyes were on fire with a passion well beyond her age. "So I'm young. Deal with it."

This time, she looked like the ancient Greek goddess Artemis.

He didn't have time to answer. Her omni-tool beeped as several people tried to contact her. She turned away from him and answered, "Imreas."

She deftly coordinated their problems and turned back to Shepard. "Back to business. Let's end this."

He nodded. "Let's."

* * *

><p><strong>15 March 2176—Arcturus Station, Themis, Arcturus System<strong>

Shepard stood stoically next to Corinthia as Admiral Hackett pinned the Star of Terra on her chest. She had a strange look on her face, like she wanted to be happy but couldn't. She put on a smile for the press as she shook Hackett's hand. Internally, she was still mourning her father. He'd died in an explosion on Elysium and she still wasn't over the shock of finding him. He had been her last tie to humanity, other than the Alliance. Well, and Shepard, too, though he seemed more than reluctant to have her at his side.

Shepard straightened as Hackett pinned the medal on his chest, his mind leaving Corinthia behind. This was his moment. He'd beaten the Reds and was truly worth something. Shepard and Corinthia saluted the Admiral and left the stage.

The moment they were alone, Corinthia leaned against a wall and slid to the ground, pulling her knees against her chest and burying her face into them.

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "I take it you don't like being a hero, Ensign."

She sobbed some kind of muffled reply.

"Didn't catch that."

She brought her head up. "I said that I wished my father had been here, Lieutenant." She shut her eyes tight and pressed her lips together.

Shepard hesitated. There was a very, very large party with his name on it and he didn't want to console a teenager over something trivial like a lost parent.

"So?" he growled. When he saw her take a deep, shuddering breath, he coughed and corrected, "Why do you want to talk to me about it? I'm not good at this sappy shit."

She shook her head. "I mean... Lieutenant... I don't _know_ anyone else..."

He gritted his teeth and sat next to her with a weary sigh. "Fine. Talk to me, kid."

She wiped her eyes. "You don't have to do this..."

"Say that one more time and I'll take you seriously."

She managed a snicker. "It's just... I don't know if my father forgave me or if... if he was proud... And now he's dead..." She inhaled and tried not to start crying again.

"I never knew my dad and my mom left me on a playground when I was three," Shepard put in bluntly. "So suck it up."

Corinthia blinked. "You've never comforted anyone before, have you, Lieutenant?"

"Why the hell would I have?"

She sighed. "Can't you just... hug me or something? Please? I mean, it's totally against protocol, but..." She trailed off and got to her feet. "I'm sorry, LT. I'll leave you to... celebrating. I've got... I've got to go."

Shepard got to his feet. "Wait, Ci-Ci." He stared at her uncertainly as he tried to find words. He'd been with her when she found her father's body. He'd thought that she was just breaking down and had come over to order her back to work, but she'd grabbed onto him and not let go. "Listen, you need to be around someone that actually cares about this."

She hung her head guiltily. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant..."

"You need to pick the people you want as friends better, that's all I'm saying. I'm bad at this shit and there's gotta be some girl that's better."

"But you're the one that's here..." She trailed off uncertainly. "I'm sorry, I just... pounced on you, but you were there and no one else was."

"I'm not offended. Just... uncomfortable."

She toyed with her fingers. "So... friends?"

He looked her up and down for a long moment. He didn't use that term. Ever. The last time he had ended in blood. Still, he recognized the loneliness in her eyes. She probably had no idea what she looked like, either. Regardless, she would be a good ally. She fought like a demon and her hacking skills were unsurpassed. He might be able to use her in the future.

He extended his hand. "Friends."

She shook it, smiling wanly. Though certainly still sad, she looked far more like the girl he'd imagined. "Thank you. For everything. I wouldn't have gotten this without you." She fingered the Star of Terra self-awarely. Quite suddenly, she laughed. "You know, I just realized something that's really kinda sad. I haven't had a human friend. Ever."

"School, right?"

"Yep. As you can guess, I was the only human there. I went to join the Academy right after I finished with everything."

"That... explains a lot."

She blushed. "Yeah. Probably. I hadn't really thought about it." She smoothed her long bangs over her still-developing scars, fully concealing her eye. "Think Hackett will get mad at me for having my hair like this?"

"He did shun all regulation to make you a captain."

"I'm an ensign again, Lieutenant."

"Just call me 'Shepard' like everyone else."

"What about 'Shep'?"

He cringed. "I can tolerate it because you're still at the age when you do things like that. But not often. Please."

"I go by Ci-Ci. I mean, my full name's a mouthful."

"What is it?"

"You didn't hear it when Hackett said it?"

"Wasn't listening." He shifted uncomfortably. "So... are you coming to the party?"

"No. I've got a funeral to arrange. See you around, Shep." She smiled one last time and disappeared around a corner.

Shepard rubbed his eyes. "I know I'm going to regret this."


	3. Akuze

**_A/N 23 February 2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for Theta reading help! Good editors are more than welcome, especially when revisions are being made :D_

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>30 June 2177— Akuze, Milky Way<strong>

Everyone was exhausted beyond measure. The marines had spent all day and night searching for any sign of the missing pioneer colony and had found absolutely nothing except a survey tower and the charred remains of a few modular homes. Now it was near dawn and most of the men were getting ready to sleep. All but the five on watch had stripped their armor in favor of their casual blues. The CO had already retired for the night, the XO was nodding off, and the rest of the unit were crawling into sleeping bags or already snoring. Of the fifty marines deployed, only six were left awake (meaning, one very stubborn off-duty marine was too distracted to remember that she was tired).

Akuze itself was uneventful. Though it had breathable atmosphere, it was relatively barren. There were rich mineral deposits everywhere—hence why the colonists had come. There was a nearly limitless potential for riches, assuming they survived. The sun had dipped below the horizon, leaving everything either dark red or black. Even in the night chill, the air smelled slightly sulfuric.

Shepard was standing next to Corinthia and thinking about what he'd do when he got off this barren rock and back to Arcturus Station (go to a bar, get drunk, get laid, etc.). They'd completed what they'd come to do, so why did they have to wait around? They could've completed the mission with five men, not a unit of fifty Marines.

Regardless, he was on watch and something didn't feel right. The way the settler camp had been abandoned was just... strange. Seeing had put a cold feeling in his gut, like he just knew that something was going to go wrong. In all likelihood, it was because Corinthia wasn't acting normal, even though she was doing her usual off-duty omni-tool fiddling. Though by no means "friends", he had worked with her a few times since Elysium and knew that she spent her time doing three things: laughing, grinning, and playing with her omni-tool. If it was the latter, she was about to pull a prank.

However, there was no smile on her face. Her brow was furrowed and she was uncharacteristically fully concentrated on her work. That was, perhaps, what unnerved Shepard the most. She didn't have a good nose for trouble, but she had saved his skin a couple of times with her scans of the area.

Unfortunately, that orange glow was more than annoying him and he already had a migraine already.

He gritted his teeth. "Nothing's going to happen, LT, so put that goddamn thing away."

She didn't answer, only focusing even more intently on her work.

Shepard narrowed his eyes. She generally talked (a lot) and would grin bashfully before stopping doing whatever was annoying him.

He crouched next to her, eyeing her work. Her fingers moved too quickly through the interface for him to know what she was looking at or trying to find. "Ci-Ci?" he murmured. "Did you find something that the rest of us should know about?"

Her gaze flicked to him. "I'm detecting some weird readings. Really weird."

"Like what?"

The ground rumbled, so subtly that it may have been someone turning on a Mako engine. Corinthia's eyes widened. Her omni-tool flashed warningly a second before she was on her feet shouting, "THRESHER MAW!"

Within heartbeats, there were monsters rising everywhere from the ground. They looked like massive worms, with spider-legs around their mouths. Corinthia winced and covered her ears as they released deafening screeches and lunged for the closest group of soldiers. In the darkness, only the maw's glowing mouths and the explosions of gunfire could be seen.

Shepard's hand descended on her shoulder and pulled her back against his shins. "Stay with me, Ci-Ci," he ordered.

She turned her omni-tool on and used it as a flashlight to find her eyepiece and sniper rifle. "I hate fighting in the dark," she muttered. "Where the hell is my night vision?" She fumbled with her eyepiece until it glowed green and extended to cover both her eyes. "Oh, shit…"

There were bodies everywhere. Five maws swayed and pecked at the scattering men. The soldiers couldn't see, so they were dashing straight into danger. One of the monsters turned its attention to Corinthia and Shepard. She pushed him out of the way as the maw spat its acid at them.

"I'd give anything for a grenade launcher right now," she muttered.

Shepard pulled her into his arms to protect her from another maw blast. Without her armor, she would die in seconds (though as to _why_ he was even trying to protect her, he had no idea). He released her for long enough to extend his shields over her as well.

"Where's the Captain?" he shouted.

"I don't know! I'm following you!" she answered. "Why did I take off my armor?"

He opened his radio. "Organize! Split their attention! Cover fire only! Get to a transport and get away!"

No one listened. There had been fifty men, including Shepard and Corinthia, and every single one that was still alive was out for himself. Unfortunately, they were having little luck. The thresher maws were hitting their targets with ease. They first went for the Makos, leaving those inside helpless in a melting steel coffin, and finally for the darting soldiers on the ground.

Corinthia moved closer to Shepard. "We have to get out of here."

He nodded. As loathe as he was to run, they wouldn't survive if they stayed there. He didn't have time to radio out a rendezvous point because any chance of escape was routed as a thresher appeared right before them. Corinthia wasted no time and began shooting with frightening speed. Shepard created a singularity around the thresher maw's head, but it did little damage.

"Do that again! It keeps it still!" she called.

"I can't do it and protect us simultaneously," he growled. He glanced down at her weapon. "What kind of rifle has a fifteen round mag?"

She didn't look over. "A Viper carbine does," she answered. "And it actually has a thirty round mag. Geth technology. Don't ask how I got it."

"Wasn't gonna," he answered, waiting for enough energy to create another biotic attack. An acidic ball of thresher maw spit landed ten feet away. "What's the point of these things, anyway?"

"You want the technical answer or the real answer?"

"It was a rhetorical question. Just kill it!"

"You don't have to tell me twice," she murmured, raising the barrel of the rifle a little higher. "A giant space hamster once told me to go for the eyes. For once, I think he's right."

"Space hamster?" Shepard repeated.

"Long story." She loosed a couple shots. "But it's actually quite funny."

"How the fuck can you be joking around at a time like this?"

"You started it! Oh, shit…"

He caught her phrase just in time to put up a biotic barrier and stop them from being melted. The shield hissed, fizzed, and sparkled as it reacted with the acid.

"Thanks!" she gasped. She reloaded her rifle and aimed carefully. "Now drop the barrier and throw a singularity at it. I've got a kill shot."

"Are you crazy?"

"Yes, so just do it!"

Against his better judgment, he trusted her and did as she asked. She put twenty shots into the maw's mouth. It howled, swayed, and fell, shaking the ground like an earthquake. Corinthia lost her balance and fell into Shepard's legs. Shepard nodded in approval, glancing at the corpse. "Nice one, Lieutenant."

She got to her feet. "No time for that. We need to get out of here. Now."

"Agreed."

They ran to a Mako, knowing full well that any of the other maws could appear at any moment. Shepard started the engine and they took off. Corinthia had her gun and omni-tool ready, but thankfully nothing appeared. She didn't even comment on his driving. After nearly an hour, she released a sigh of relief. "We're clear if you want to pull over."

Shepard nodded and slowed. When the Mako stopped, he ran his hands over his face wearily. "Fuck…"

"I'm getting some air." Corinthia opened the hatch and climbed out. They were sitting on a plateau, surrounded by rocky cliffs and a few small hills. The stars twinkled serenely, as if everything in the galaxy was at peace, and the moons hung in the sky like silver buttons. She sank to the ground, hugged her knees, and tried not to cry.

Shepard joined her, groaning and stretching. "Shit... Where the hell are we?"

"About ninety klicks north of base camp," she answered, voice soft and quivering.

He raised an eyebrow, sensing that she was about to start sobbing, and moved farther away from her. He wasn't about to get sucked into her emotional games. "Any sign of the others?"

After taking a steadying breath, she took out her omni-tool again. "I'll check, but I'm not sure I've got the range to track vitals this far out."

In all honesty, Shepard didn't care. He was just glad to be alive instead of melted — though, he had no idea why he'd saved her life and dragged her with him.

"No luck, Lieutenant," she said after a long moment.

"Whatever."

She narrowed her eyes. "Whatever? That's all you're going to say?"

"We're alive; they're dead," Shepard snapped, rounding on her. "What more do you want?"

"I — I want them alive," she answered weakly, retreating. "I mean, I don't _know_ what's happened to them yet, but it doesn't look good. Is it wrong not to like that?"

Shepard stared at the horizon for a moment. "No, it isn't," he murmured. "But sometimes we aren't allowed to feel it."

"This isn't war."

"Like hell it isn't. It was a fight. People die. It's part of life. We deal with it and move on."

"Oh... alright... I guess you're right." She turned back to her omni-tool, half-heartedly continuing her scans.

"What are you doing this time?" Shepard asked, annoyed.

"I'm working," she replied softly.

"Sure you are."

She sighed. "This is... Listen, right before I found out there were thresher maws, I had detected another strange reading."

Shepard crossed his arms. Other than on Elysium, he hadn't really seen her use her omni-tool for anything practical or useful. Still, his interest was piqued. "Which was?"

"A detonation pulse. I bet if we dug around there we'd find charges."

"Great. We were set up."

"Pretty much. Evidence of detonation signals, that survey tower was also transmitting new data..."

Shepard stared towards what was left of their campsite. "I don't like it."

"Neither do I. I thought that tower was Alliance-issued. Older, and upgraded like hell, but still Alliance."

"Think it was hijacked?"

"Possibly." Corinthia shrugged helplessly. "It was all too... simple. We found the colony, were attacked, and therefore found out what happened to the colony. I doubt that we'd find any evidence of malevolence, though, because — well, I mean... We just won't."

"Says you," Shepard muttered.

"And you could do better?" She snickered. "I've never seen you even _open_ your omni-tool."

He showed her his assault rifle. "I have this. I don't need that... thing."

"Thing? Thing? THIS happens to be the most important tool that ANYONE can have."

"Yes, but you... mess with it and it's annoying."

"My fiddling saved your ass back there," she snapped, scrambling to her feet.

"Like hell it did. You'd be dead if I hadn't decided to shield you," he answered darkly, advancing on her.

"And _I_ killed the thresher maw."

"And you'd be screaming in agony as you were melted by acid if I hadn't put that barrier around us."

"So would you! So, yeah, you helped with holding it still, but I'm still the one that killed it."

They came nose-to-nose (or as close as they could get with him being eight inches taller than her). "I got us away from there," he hissed.

"Using my navigation."

"You'd still be dead if it weren't for me," he finished.

"Or we can just admit that neither of us would be alive if it weren't for the other."

"Or you can just suck it up and admit that I'd kick your ass to the Terminus Systems and back any day."

She cocked her head to one side. "You just want to win, don't you?"

"Just figured that you, did you?"

She held up her hands. "Fine. I'll concede that point."

"You... what?"

"What did I say?"

"_Concede_? What kind of a soldier are you?"

"Uh... Well... do you want the lecture of the synopsis?"

He waved a hand in dismissal. "Forget I said anything."

Corinthia opened her mouth to say something else, thought better of it, and lapsed into silence.

For a brief moment, Shepard thought she might start crying, but instead she simply blinked morosely and let out a long sigh. He groaned and went back over to her.

"You okay, kid?"

"Fine," she answered, too quickly to be honest.

"You sure?"

"You're Emotionless Man."

"What was that?" he growled.

She shrugged. "You weren't even happy when you got the Star of Terra, you haven't batted an eyelash at the fact that forty-eight people are dead, and I've never seen you get CLOSE to smiling."

He returned her gaze coldly, making her shiver. "Emotionless Man or not, I still feel anger and annoyance. Care to guess which one you're making me feel?"

"Eesh, Shepard. I was joking. Or are you Humorless Man?"

"Still far off. I'm a big teddy bear that's just desperate for a hug," he answered sarcastically.

She laughed uproariously. "Ooh! Are you fuzzy, too? And eat fish and addicted to honey? Or do you rear and scare everyone away?"

He smirked. "I have a feeling that if I tried to intimidate you that you'd come in for a hug."

"Yep. Probably."

Against his better judgment, he decided to not tell her to shut up. Talkative or not, she had _almost_ saved his life. He generally didn't have much respect for women (since, in his experience, their only real purpose was to relieve "stress", get in the way, or nag you to death), but Corinthia wasn't like other women. Hell, she wasn't even "normal", from what he could tell in the thirteen interactions they'd had. She was... he didn't know what she was, other than giggles, omni-tools, and bad "that's what she said" joke. He didn't know if he liked her (in any sense of the word) or not, but considering she would be disturbed by what had just happened, he decided to play nice.

He smirked. "Was that a request for a hug?"

"I have a feeling that you aren't squishy," she answered, winking. "Unless you need a hug?"

"Death doesn't bother me. At all," he replied with a shrug. "Never has, really."

"Oh... Wow... That's... Awesome, to say the least." She sat there, blinking, for a long moment. "Yeah, that's just epic. Wish I could... I mean, that's, like, superhero amazing."

Shepard cocked his head to one side. "How the fuck did you get into the military?"

"What was that?" she asked innocently.

"Nothing," he added quickly.

"I could play back the recording..."

"You're kidding me, right?"

She raised an eyebrow quizzically.

Shepard rubbed his eyes. "That was a joke, wasn't it?"

She winked. "Yep."

"You're a real bitch, you know that?"

"And you're a heartless bastard," she replied without hesitation. Her smile instantly faded. "Oh, God, I'm sorry, Lieutenant. I didn't mean — "

Though his natural reaction should have been to clench a fist and growl some kind of answer, the switch from lighthearted insult to heartfelt apology was so fast that he had to laugh.

She relaxed. "So... you aren't insulted?"

"You really need to get out more," he told her. "You're coming the next time I go to a bar."

"But... I... You're a first lieutenant and I'm..."

"Fuck it. You look like you could use a drink."

She spread her hands. "I'm seventeen. Legal age is eighteen."

_That explains a lot... _"So when will you be eighteen?"

"November seventh."

"Then on November seventh I am going to take you out."

"Uh... So long as you're sober enough to take me home with my virginity intact."

He blinked. "You're a... Did not see that coming." He gave her a second glance. "I take that back. I totally see it. Bet you haven't been kissed, either."

She frowned, confused. "Why are we talking about my sex life? There are tons of other things we could be doing. Like finding out if everyone else is alive." She opened her omni-tool again and started ignoring him completely.

Shepard rolled his eyes. Frankly, the body count didn't bother him at all. He was alive; they weren't. He'd caused too much death to let a simple massacre faze him. Actually, he found the slaughter... invigorating. Part of him always wondered if he was sadistic, but he knew that he was ruthless and more than willing to be judge, jury, and executioner. If the marines couldn't cut it, they deserved to be dead.

Corinthia, though... She was a puzzle. She seemed like the sort that ought to be bawling in a corner (as she had at her father's death), and yet he knew that she was capable of ignoring pain and getting the job done regardless of what else had happened (as she'd proven in the Skyllian Blitz). Right then, she was stuck in her own little omni-tool created world and probably wasn't going to surface for a long while.

"Think we're going to be attacked anytime soon?" he asked.

"Not a chance," she answered.

"You sure?"

"About ninety-three percent sure. Want the statistics?"

"I think I'll be fine without them," he replied lowly. "The emergency packs still in the Mako?"

"Yep."

"Good. I'm getting out of this armor."

She blushed faintly (though he could barely tell because of the glow of her omni-tool) and turned back to her work. "Would you mind seeing if there's a jacket or something, Lieutenant? It's kinda chilly out here."

"Whatever," he answered. For a brief moment, his mind flashed to what would happen if they had to huddle together for warmth, but he quickly dismissed it because she was: one, too young; and two, not his type (meaning, naive, intelligent, and... inexperienced). _Jacket it is..._

He threw one out to her, jumping when she squeaked. "What the fuck was that?" he called.

"Me."

"Can humans even make that noise?"

"So I squeak when I'm startled. Deal with it. With all due respect, Lieutenant."

"Just call me Shepard. And don't worry about insulting me. I get the impression that you don't know you've done it until after you've said it."

"Yeah, pretty much... Sorry."

"Stop apologizing. It's... annoying."

"Oh. Right. So — " She bit her lip and lapsed into silence.

Shepard stopped with his new shirt half-on. "You're just dying to say it, aren't you?"

"YES!"

He snorted with laughter. That was twice in less than an hour, which had never happened to him. Ever. "Try and resist or else I'll throw you back to the thresher maws."

"...Uh..."

"I'm kidding, Ci-Ci. Lighten up."

"So it does have a sense of humor..."

"What was that?"

"I'll tell you when we're not having a shouted conversation through a foot of armor."

Shepard shrugged, finished dressing, and climbed out, dropping to the ground next to her. She squeaked (again), her omni-tool going into her chest. After another mouse-like sound, she shook out her hand and rubbed her wounded breast. "You'd think that holograms wouldn't hurt so much..."

"You alright?" Shepard asked, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous she looked.

"Oh, fine," she answered, her blush deepening.

He caught her omni-tool wrist. "Put it away. The orange glow might attract predators."

She raised an eyebrow. "In this environment? Or are you referring to yourself?"

He rolled his eyes. "I see better in the dark."

"Ooooohhhhhh." She shut it off. "Better?"

"Much."

She twiddled her thumbs for a moment. "Were you a gang member?" she asked suddenly, nearly making him jump.

He blanched slightly. "What the hell makes you say that?"

Shepard had never, ever revealed to anyone that he'd been a member of the Reds. Even the Alliance didn't know about that part of his past, but now this girl could just tell? It unnerved him. Then again, he wasn't used to interacting with intelligent women. Even the female soldiers were all compensating for their lack of manliness and were too ugly or strong to be anything but part of the navy. There was a reason there weren't many female officers.

She pointed to the tattoo on the back of his neck. "I saw it earlier when you were coming out of the Mako. Only Earth gangs mark their own like that. Well, before you had it modified—you did, didn't you?" She retreated a little. "Or am I completely wrong? ….And I probably touched a sensitive subject, too, didn't I?"

"Just a little," he answered sarcastically, rubbing the back of his neck. The mark had been a simple "X", but he'd had it altered it into a coat of arms: a red shield with the black silhouettes of a lion and a gryphon flanking a sword running straight through the "X". The top of the shield came to three points, like a crown, with the red pommel of the sword overlapping the center point.

"I'm so—" She shut her mouth and swallowed her apology.

"Just say it, Ci-Ci."

"Thanks. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... insult you."

"... By mentioning that, you do realize that you're talking to someone capable of cold-blooded murder, xenophobia, racism, selfishness, and no aversion to raping or using you?"

She bit her lip nervously. "Y-you aren't going to, are you?" she whispered, frightened.

He shook his head. "I may not care about people dying, but there are some things I won't do."

She relaxed. "Thank you..."

"But we're not done with this conversation. How the fuck did you get 'gang member' from a tattoo?"

She studied her feet bashfully. "Well, the black ink's just barely a different color. You may want to get it touched up sometime soon. Not that anyone else would notice, really. The only reason I know it is because — uh, well, forget it. Forget I said anything at all."

He wasn't about to drop the subject. "Why Earth?"

"I... I read your file." She retreated even more at his glare. "Sorry, I didn't mean… It's just the way you're so... withdrawn from everyone else, I started to wonder... And you aren't reacting to anything that just happened..."

"You read my _file_?" he asked, insulted.

"And the files of everyone else on the mission. I mean, I first looked it up after we met at the recruiting station because you're... you know..." She waiting until he gave her a quizzically encouraging look to finish. "You're... rugged... and all that stuff."

"Think I'm handsome, do you?" he sneered.

"Kinda hard not to. I'm seventeen. Anyone with abs is dead sexy in my boat."

He snorted. "And how the hell did you become a lieutenant?"

"Because I earned it." She sighed. "This is... weird. I mean, I've set my omni-tool to radio for help, but we're just... talking and it's... Well, no one really talks to me."

He groaned. If this was about to turn into a teenage bitching session, he'd throw himself back to the thresher maws.

"It's... nice." She tucked her hair behind her ear, realized that it was the side with the scars, and then smoothed her bangs back over the marks. "I know I'm weird and all that, and you're totally... awesome."

"Don't start with the hero-worship." Internally, though, Shepard was pleased to have someone look up to him with big eyes. "I'm anything but."

"But I like bad-boys..."

He laughed bitterly. "You're so naive..."

"Care to enlighten me, then?"

She asked the question so innocently that he couldn't decide if he wanted to tell her and get rid of the wide-eyed look or just let her stay like that.

"I can't tell you," he finally said.

"Oh. That's alright."

"You sound... disappointed."

"I was raised a scientist. I'm always curious and you're... fascinating. I mean, you look like you ought to be. You're a biotic, but you fight like a regular soldier, and you saved me at least three times, but you're _known_ as the lone-wolf kind of guy..."

"So you're going to sit here and analyze me?" he hissed.

"Not on purpose!" she quickly replied. "How can I help it if you remind me of an anti-hero?"

"You are a strange little girl..."

"Thanks. I try."

He sighed. "Are you going to drop the subject?"

"I don't even remember what we were talking about," she answered perkily. "Who are you?"

"...You're kidding, right?"

She winked.

He shook his head. "Most of the women I talk to are running their hands all over me by now."

"Uh..."

"It wasn't a request. It's just... different, that's all. You're smart."

"I'm usually told that I'm freakishly childish, so, thanks." She grinned at him. "And I like the tattoo. A lot."

He smirked. "Wait 'til you see the leather jacket..."

Her eyes widened eagerly. "And motorcycle?"

He nodded.

"You are now my best friend. ...Which, of course, I've only said because I'm totally going to exploit you for a ride and a night in the jacket."

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you have any idea what you just said?"

"What? Uh... Oh... Oh. Oh, right. Heh. Oops." She ran her fingers through her hair nervously and sank to the ground again. "You'd think boots would be more comfortable..."

He joined her, leaning against the Mako's tire. "Still cold?"

"A little, but nothing life-threatening." She raised her left hand like she was about to turn on her omni-tool again and, after a hesitation, set it aside.

"You're worried about the others," he observed.

"I'm worried that our radio isn't working up to par. Maybe if I hook it up to the Mako..."

He forced her hand to her side. "Are you going to strand us here?"

"It'll be very uncomfortable to drive, but it won't be impossible."

"And just what are you going to do to the Mako?"

"Don't know yet. Why?"

"It's the safest place we have right now and I'm not sleeping outside."

"Agreed." She opened her omni-tool again.

"Does that thing have to be open constantly?"

She closed the interface. "Notice how it isn't anymore?" she replied, slightly miffed. She got to her feet. "But, as lovely as it's been chatting with you, I'm getting antsy just sitting here and not trying to find everyone else and get our asses off of this rock. Anderson's not due for another seventy-two hours, and my omni-tool doesn't have the range to get him sooner. So... yeah, don't expect to drive the Mako anywhere anytime soon."

"Are you going to gut it?"

"Now that I think about it, essentially. I'll keep the passenger seat as intact as possible so you can sleep if you want to."

He raised an eyebrow curiously as she climbed into the Mako. She was... He didn't know what she was other than anything but what he was used to. There was no point on dwelling on it, either, because he was stuck with her until Anderson showed up.

The worst part was that he wanted to trust her. He didn't know why, either. Maybe it was because she seemed like the sort of person he could trust. Or it could've been that smile of hers, or the fact that she could make him laugh (which was impossible in general).

Shepard was a hard man, to say the least. He'd been through more than most veteran soldiers by the time he was sixteen. His life could have qualified as a sob story if he liked, but he didn't tell it to anyone.

His only memory of either of his parents was of his mother leaving him at a playground and never returning. He was three. From there, Shepard relived _Oliver Twist_. The "Artful Dodger"—in this case, a teenager named Hines—found Shepard and took him under his wing. Quickly, Shepard fell into a life of crime. He proved to be extremely intelligent, soon leaving the care of Thorum and joining the notorious Tenth Street Reds, one of the largest and best-organized gangs on Earth, at the age of ten. He kept to himself, developing a reputation as the best enforcer in the business and soon becoming the personal guard and left hand of the Reds' second (and eventually first) in command, Stevie Matheson.

After being betrayed more times than he would have liked (including the situation that forced L3 implants upon him), Shepard decided the leave the Reds. It wasn't easy and involved him murdering more than a few people (not to mention collapsing their Los Angeles headquarters), but he finally joined the Academy and became part of the N7 program.

There, he excelled, becoming a Lieutenant Junior Grade before he graduated. He was now a Lieutenant and would be up for Lieutenant Commander in a year and half at the earliest. He wanted to be an Admiral before he left the Alliance, but that was a latent dream.

He'd have to be alive for long enough to get there, first. As the reality of what had happened sank in (meaning, that he might be dead if Corinthia hadn't been there), he started to wonder if he could do it alone. He glanced towards the Mako. The hatch was open and the inside glowed orange as Corinthia worked on her omni-tool. Metal screeched and clanged, punctuated by her creative curses, squeaks, and hisses from being shocked by wiring. The tires throbbed as she played some kind of music inside.

He rubbed his eyes, unable to believe what he was about to do, and climbed up onto the Mako. He. Corinthia was sitting in a tangle of wires, a tool between her teeth, and was trying to connect her omni-tool to the rover.

"Now is not a good time, Shep," she said around the screwdriver in her mouth. "This whole place could spontaneously combust at any point."

"Permission to come aboard?" he asked.

She blinked, looking at him curiously. "Granted..." After a second, she laughed shortly, managed to grin around the screwdriver, and seemed to be in a much better mood.

He slid into the passenger seat, which was mostly clear of debris, although he did sit on several tools. He pulled the offending pieces out from beneath him and stripped his jacket. "Hot in here. What are you doing?"

"Nothing that isn't reversible," she answered, moving her screwdriver to her hand and reaching shoulder-deep into the dashboard. She continued at his stern look, "I'm rewiring the Mako's radio so that it'll have the range necessary to flag Anderson, I hope. We're pretty far off the beaten path and this thing's pretty old. Damned budget cuts..." She snickered victoriously as the dashboard came to life. "Hah! I win!"

Shepard shook his head, preparing himself to get used to shock and surprise. Inexplicably, he was pretty sure that he'd be seeing much more of her in the future. It wasn't against regulations for marines of different ranks to be friends, although it wasn't usually encouraged.

"What?" she asked, seeing his curious look.

"Nothing," he answered quickly.

She raised an eyebrow. "Seriously, what is it?"

"Why the fuck did you join the Alliance?"

She laughed, nearly dropping her work. "That's what you want to know? It's simple: I was bored and I wanted to interact with humans. So, it was the Academy or more school. I wasn't going to do that last one, so I went to the Academy."

"That's not a good reason."

"I know, but it still happened, didn't it?"

"Are you always that impulsive?"

"Pretty much. I want chocolate."

He chuckled. "You are a strange girl..."

"Is that a problem?"

"Against my better judgment, it isn't."

She bit her lip. "So..."

"I'm not going to bite your head off, Ci-Ci."

She relaxed. "Thank you. I'd heard stories, but I didn't want to... you know. Find out for myself."

Shepard had a reputation for being withdrawn and unpersonable, to the point that almost no one wanted to interact with him outside of a mission (and, even then, they didn't want to during). Corinthia seemed to be immune to his moodiness, as she was actually perkier now than she was before.

"You're not a monster," she continued confidently.

"What was that?"

"I said you're not a monster," she repeated, "and even if you were, you'd be the devil himself, so everyone would still dance after you into Hell with a care-free smile on their face."

"That's probably the most flattering thing anyone's ever said to me," he answered, voice completely false.

She laughed at his tone. "Everyone loves a rebel."

"Not the Alliance."

"You're already a Lieutenant, Shepard. I don't think the Alliance cares. Besides, they need more men who're intelligent and willing to do anything. I've found some pretty nasty stuff behind the wallpaper."

"People still have wallpaper?" he answered.

After a moment, they both started laughing.

"So what's your first name?" he asked after a long moment.

"Haven't you heard it before?"

"If I did, I don't remember."

"It's Cassiopeia," she muttered, ashamed.

He barely managed to repress laughing.

"Don't make fun of me..."

"Better than 'John'," he replied.

"But that's a perfectly wonderful name."

"It's also perfectly... insignificant."

She touched his hand lightly. "Doesn't matter. You're already Lieutenant Fucking Shepard. I'm not sure anyone knows your first name, really, and they don't need to. You don't even look like a John to me. 'Johnny', maybe — "

"Don't call me that," he hissed.

"Oh, alright. Nicknames aren't your thing, then, are they?"

"No, they aren't."

"So... Do I call you Shepard or your rank?"

"Shepard. I've already told you to ditch the rank." He leaned back against the headrest. "When'd people start calling you 'Ci-Ci'?"

"They always have. Even my mother —" She hesitated before continuing, "— Even my mother did. The salarians didn't have patience for 'Cassiopeia' or 'Cassie' or anything like that, and God knows I'd never tell anyone my middle name..."

"Now you have to tell me."

"What?"

"Oh, come on, Ci-Ci. You don't tell someone you'll never say something without expecting them to ask. I _know_ you want to share it."

She sighed, crossed her arms, and kicked the Mako's control panel. "Iphigenia."

"Uh... Come again?"

"That's what she said."

He snickered. "Alright, I get it: your middle name sucks dick."

"Actually, no. She died a virgin."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Greek mythology."

He leaned over to her. "Remember how you thought I was in a gang?"

"Yeah..."

"Do you really think I ever had a mythology class?"

She flushed. "Oh, right. Iphigenia was the daughter of — Uh, she was part of the Trojan War. The reason Achilles fought."

"Him I've heard about." Shepard looked her up and down lazily. "And your nickname's an... what's the word?"

"Acronym."

"That."

"I like your name much better. It isn't a mouthful and just sounds... awesome."

"You don't need to tell me how awe-inspiring I am every few seconds, Ci-Ci. You're already on my good side."

"Knowing me, I won't stay there much longer."

He ran his hand over his head. "I'm assuming that because we're gossiping that you've finished fixing this heap."

She shook her head and started manipulating wires again. "Not sure. All I know for certain is that everyone else is dead." She paused slightly to suck in a breath. "I'm connected to the transmitter well enough, but something's jamming any signals I'm trying to send." Several things sparked. "Damn it! I hate this thing!" She punched the wall. Her omni-tool began to beep and flash, making her laugh maniacally. "YES! IT'S WORKING!" She thrust the radio into his hand. "Here, hail someone. Anyone. I wouldn't care if they were slavers at this point."

"I'll kill any one of them that tries anything." He turned it on. "This is Lieutenant Shepard of the Alliance Navy. Can anyone hear me?" He glared at Corinthia. "Is it actually working?"

She fiddled with her omni-tool. "Try it now," she suggested.

"This is Lieutenant Shepard of the Alliance Navy. Does anyone read me?"

A female voice answered. "I hear you, Lieutenant. This is Matriarch Gorrah of the Asari Justicars. This is a restricted channel. How did you gain access?"

Shepard gave Corinthia an accusing look. She grinned sheepishly.

"I can't tell you because I'm not really sure. My tech specialist has been trying to get into contact with anyone. Our squad was killed by thresher maws. We're stranded on Akuze and we're trying to reach the _SSV Seattle _and Captain Anderson. They were our contacts and were going to come get us after the mission."

"You understand that I must confirm your story."

"Understood. What information do you need?"

"Your service numbers and mission title should suffice."

"Lieutenant John Shepard, service number 5923-AC-2826."

"Lieutenant Junior Grade Cassiopeia Corinthia-Imreas, service number 6451-AC-7427," she said. "Our mission was called Operation Snatch."

"There were only the two of you?" Gorrah asked.

"No, but now… Everyone else is dead," Corinthia answered guiltily.

The asari gave them no confirmation of their information, so they had no choice but to wait.

Corinthia rubbed her arms and zipped up her jacket.

"You can't still be cold," Shepard murmured.

She nodded and pulled her knees up beneath her. "I don't think it's got to do with temperature, though."

"Oh." He rubbed his eyes. "I told you last time that I'm not good at this stuff..."

"Can I get the hug this time?"

"Hell no."

"But I'm a good hugger..."

"That's like telling me that you're a good kisser, Ci-Ci."

She grimaced. "As ruggedly handsome as you may be, that's just..."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Off the table."

"Completely," she lied. Her only real aversion was that she wasn't eighteen, but she was finding herself rather liking the Lieutenant.

"That's..." He scratched his head. "I said it before, but I don't think I've ever had a conversation with a girl before that didn't end in my bed."

"Well, how about you start a trend, then. We can make this a precedent."

"Uh... what?"

"A new start. Like having a conversation to have a conversation without any subliminal motives."

He smirked. "You don't know that."

"I can guarantee you that I'm not your type." She leaned over. "I'm completely oblivious. I probably wouldn't know if you were hitting on me until two weeks later. There are also these," She brushed back her bangs to show him her scars, "and I know that men don't like my laughter. It's... piercing, I think someone called it."

"It is a little loud, though your normal voice might be..."

"Be what?" she asked after he hesitated.

"Sultry."

She laughed uproariously. "Seriously? That's a new one... Guess I'll need to learn the hip-shake and cleavage-show thingies to go with it."

Shepard snorted, unable to visualize her even attempting to be seductive. "You could try. I don't think it'll work."

"Agreed. I'll keep the cute and innocent seduction method for now." She winked, exaggerated a girlish giggle, and settled back into her seat.

He shook his head. "Are you sure you're human?"

"Positive."

"Just checking..."

"But we females are another species."

"No, I think it's just you."

"No, I'm — Well, alright, I am. It's a wonder you tolerate me at all."

He stretched and put his hands behind his head. "I find you amusing, so I think I'll keep you."

"Thank you, my lord. I appreciate it."

"Lieutenant Shepard?" the asari radioed.

He grabbed the receiver. "Here."

"Your Captain has confirmed your presence. I will come and collect you. Stay put."

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you. Shepard out."

He set down the radio, turning to Corinthia. "Thank God it's over."

Corinthia sighed, relieved, and then gave him the most devious look he had ever seen. "That's what she said."

* * *

><p><p>

Shepard had never met an asari Justicar and he therefore had no idea what to do in greeting. Corinthia, on the other hand, seemed to know exactly what to do. She bowed slightly, saying, "Thank you for your hospitality, Mistress. We greatly appreciate it."

Matriarch/Justicar Gorrah smiled solemnly. "I am aware of that, Lieutenant Corinthia-Imreas. Your reputation precedes you. Your Captain Anderson will rendezvous with you at Illium, where you will debrief him and return to Earth. For now, you are my guests. Relax, meditate, and prepare yourselves for what is to come."

Shepard nodded. He wanted to shower and wash away the blood and grime. Corinthia's burst of adrenaline seemed to have faded almost entirely, making her look her age.

The Justicar directed Shepard towards a guest room with private shower. He stepped into the scalding water, letting out a moan of pleasure. His muscles relaxed, making him feel every ache in his body. He discovered several cuts and burns that he would need to tend. The water made them sting, the soap even more. For a moment, he wondered if he was supposed to feel guilty about what had happened. It only took him a second to dismiss the thought. Death was death. It happened and there was no point in dwelling on it. He wasn't the sort for remorse (nor had he ever been), either, so his mind was already on getting back to Arcturus Station and whatever was waiting for him there.

He turned off the water nearly half-an-hour later, dried off, and put his uniform back on. After debating sleeping, he went to find Corinthia. He didn't like the idea of leaving her alone with the Justicar. It wasn't that Shepard was xenophobic (in fact, he'd managed to avoid that one stigma that the Reds upheld), but rather that he didn't trust anyone, no matter the species.

As he predicted, she was speaking to the Justicar in a soft voice. He loitered by the door, listening.

"One so young should not see such horrors," Gorrah was saying. She touched Corinthia's cheek. "You used to smile, often, I can see, but you have not for so long. Those scars should never have marred your face."

Corinthia shook her head. "I smile plenty, though I guess it's not the same. But these scars... I don't think they're pretty, but I'm not ashamed of them. I got them for a good reason, you know. My family, my home…"

"They defined you then, but no longer."

"What do you mean?"

"You are growing up, my child. You are almost eighteen, now, so you must begin to make your own path."

"I started that when I turned sixteen, when I joined the Academy."

"Ah, but that was because you wished to escape, not because it was what you truly wished to do with your life."

Corinthia's eyes widened. "Do you read minds?"

"Yes, I can when I wish. Yours is troubled, not from what you just saw, but because of the feelings you are experiencing for the man who saved you."

Corinthia's cheeks went bright red. "What? What are you talking about?"

Gorrah smiled sagely. "You will understand before long. The young rarely know love when they see it."

Corinthia laughed. "Seriously? Love? I just met him. Okay, that's not true, but I only just started talking to him. Though, I do like him—I mean, who can't? I've served with him a bunch since the Blitz, but he's not really my friend and I still barely know him. Besides, he doesn't like me. He doesn't like anyone."

"He has seen horrors that you cannot begin to imagine."

"I figured as much, though he won't say. Can you see if he's always been like that? You're telepathic, right? So can't you make him, you know… nice?"

"That is beyond my power. His will is too strong to be bent. He is not yet twenty-five and yet his mind is that of a man of twice his years. There is no innocence left within him."

"So… can he be nice or not?"

"You are still such a child… Do not forget it, my dear. It will save you in more ways than you can imagine. You cannot harden as Shepard has or else you will lose yourself."

Corinthia started to protest, hesitated, and lowered her head apologetically. "I'm sorry, Mistress. I keep forgetting that you're a Matriarch. You'd have to know about all these things. I should probably listen to you."

The asari smiled. "Part of being young is to be headstrong, but your apology is accepted. If you wish for my advice, it is this: follow your heart and do what is just."

"People usually say, 'Do what's right.'"

"I am a Justicar. To me, what is just is what is right." The Justicar shifted her eyes to the doorway. "Ah, Lieutenant Shepard. It's nice of you to join us."

Corinthia grinned at him, though the smile didn't seem genuine. She still wore her tattered Alliance clothing, her hair was messy and matted, and she looked ready to keel over and sleep. "I'll just go get cleaned up, then. Thanks for the wisdom, Mistress. Shep — I mean, Shepard." She blushed slightly as she moved past him.

Shepard watched her go. "Did you know I was out there?" he asked the asari.

She nodded. "Of course. You heard your companion's opinion of you."

He had also dismissed it as a childish obsession. "And your opinion of her opinions."

"She is young, idealistic, and impressionable, but she knows what she wants."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Yeah fucking right. She's just a kid and she's not my type."

"You never had the opportunity to be young, Lieutenant, so you would not understand her."

He snorted. "Did you hear that from her?"

"I believe you have already heard my opinion of your experiences. You reveal nothing about your past because you believe it to be irrelevant to your present. You are wrong. The past shapes your present and can, if you are not careful, your future."

Shepard hated it when people tried to read him, but the asari was right.

She stood. "You can trust me, Lieutenant, but I am not the one you should confide in. Though you may not wish to trust her, you must understand that she has no one else. She is more alone than you."

"I sincerely doubt that."

"She will certainly gain friends as time goes on, but, despite everything else that may happen, she will never forget you, just as you will not forget her. You need her." She gave him a significant look.

Shepard groaned. He didn't like Corinthia, nor did he think he ever would. He'd just started talking to her. Besides, being friends with her meant that he couldn't begin to imagine sleeping with her or be anything intimate whatsoever.

"She's just a kid," he repeated.

"And she will not remain one for much longer. She will be a true woman before you realize it." The asari touched his hand. He twitched away.

"She's not my type," he continued, knowing very well that he was using the same excuses as before.

"Because she is naïve?"

"She's... perky."

"Then you wish for a woman who broods as you do?"

"I haven't thought about it, but I know that I don't want her." Romance was rarely on Shepard's mind. Whilst with the Reds he'd gotten his teenage lust out of him. If it ever surfaced, he went to a bar, found himself a woman for the night, and then moved on. He had never had a relationship for more than three dates (and that had been once during his time with the Reds), nor did he want one.

"I would urge you to be wary of a serious woman, as you need someone who can penetrate the armor around your heart, as she already has begun to do. I am not saying that you need her now, but you will before the end." Gorrah turned her back to him. "You needn't worry about Cassiopeia making any romantic advances on you. She is, and will remain, far too frightened."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that she killed a thresher maw without flinching, right?"

"A monster may be able to hurt her physically, but a friend can wound her spirit. Besides, it is you that frightens her."

Shepard blinked. He knew that he was intimidating, but she had no business being scared of him. He treated her better than he did anyone else, even if he hadn't been particularly nice to her. Since she'd made him laugh, he was far less inclined to snap at her or anything. She was smart enough to figure out that he tolerated her. Hell, he might even have started to like her, in a platonic way.

Corinthia appeared, hair wet and looking cleaner, albeit exhausted. She wore a cat suit much like the Justicar's, though she certainly didn't fill it out like the asari. "Monsters and spirits? Are we sharing ghost stories? I know this great one about this guy and this girl who—"

"Not now, Ci-Ci," Shepard growled.

"Oh, right." She stretched with a wince. "I'm zonked. Is there somewhere I can sleep?"

"There are two bunks in the guest quarters," the asari said.

Corinthia bowed. "Thank you, Mistress. For everything."

Shepard shrugged. "Whatever."

The Justicar bowed back. "I wish you a dreamless sleep."

"Night," Corinthia said cheerily. "Or, I guess, it's morning by now, isn't it?"

Shepard rolled his eyes and dragged Corinthia to the guest quarters without another word to the asari.

"Which bed do you want?" she asked.

He sat on one. She went to the other, staring at it for a full minute.

"Are you okay?" Shepard finally asked.

"Yes—No." She turned to him, tears in her eyes. "And I don't know why I'm crying now, either. I didn't know any of them. Why is it that I always end up crying when you're around? I really don't otherwise…"

Shepard was a man that respected strength, but he understood that Corinthia wasn't like him at all.

"You kept it together when it mattered, so what do I care if you go sob your eyes out now?"

She wiped her eyes. "You want me to cry?"

"Do whatever you want, so long as it's quiet enough that I can sleep —" He caught himself. "If it's really bothering you, I'll... Fuck it." He gestured for her to come over and sit on his bed. She did hesitantly, settling herself as far away from him as she could. He spread his hands. "What? You scared of me?"

"Well..."

"Next to me, Ci-Ci."

She moved closer. After a second of hesitation, he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Listen, it's not wrong to cry over death," he murmured.

She blinked, shocked that any words like that would come out of his mouth.

"What happened back there wasn't good. It wasn't your fault, either, and there was nothing any of us could've done. It's passed and you're alive. That's the first rule of being a soldier: get home alive."

"But we aren't home yet..."

"Home is wherever you make it."

"I didn't expect wisdom from you..."

He shrugged, dropping his arm to his side. "I've been around. You're stronger than most girls. And... and I might not be alive if it weren't for you, so a few tears isn't going to be the end of the world."

She leaned her head on his shoulder. He stiffened and shifted uncomfortably, causing her to straighten.

"Sorry..."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I'm just not used to being touched, that's all."

"You know that you're going to have to get used to hugs if we're going to be friends."

"Friends?" he repeated.

"As if we could be anything else after this. Besides, you promised to take me out, remember?"

He smirked. "I did, didn't I?"

"Keep the jerks off of me, alright?"

"That won't be a problem. I'm the worst of them all."

"I dunno... I've met some baddies in my day..."

"I'm the worst."

She smiled weakly and toyed with her fingers. "It's going to be hell when we get back to Anderson."

"I'll deal with it. I'm the officer. You're the kid."

She raised an eyebrow. "Kid? I'm seventeen."

"And I'm twenty-three, so you're still a kid.."

"Were you ever?"

"What? Seventeen? Don't remind me…"

"A kid, I mean."

"Of course I was." He hesitated for a moment before adding, "I didn't have a childhood, though." Why he was trusting her, he had no idea, but he knew that he could. It wasn't much, but it was more than he'd offered to anyone else.

"I'm sorry… I know how you feel."

"I doubt it. You weren't raised on the streets."

"I was raised by salarians. There isn't much difference."

Shepard glared at her.

She sighed. "That was a joke, Shepard."

"I don't like talking about my past."

"I know. I won't bring it up again, then. Or this. Or Elysium."

"I appreciate it."

Though she looked like she wanted to ask something else, she got to her feet. "Night, Shepard. And... Thanks. For everything." She grinned at him and went to her bed, rolling onto her side with her back to him and drifting off.

"Night, Ci-Ci," he answered quietly. Unfortunately, he wasn't tired. With little else to do, he watched as she fell asleep. She looked more vulnerable than normal. Gorrah was right: He needed Corinthia, though not as a lover. He'd never thought he needed friends before, but it felt good to have someone look at him and genuinely smile, not just do it because they aren't allowed to show their fear. Despite all her faults (namely immaturity), Corinthia was loyal and genuinely cared about people. Shepard wasn't used to that, which was why he'd kept her at such a distance.

Still, the idea of friendship was unnerving. He could tell that she wasn't going to drop their relationship, but he could also tell that he wasn't going to mind it. Her most annoying trait was immaturity, but he could almost attribute all of it to her age. She'd grow out of it as she grew up. If anything, it would be worth keeping her around for her technical expertise, not to mention the fact that he hadn't _enjoyed_ talking to someone in... God, he couldn't even remember the last time. The idea of interacting with her was getting more and more appealing, to the point that he fell asleep almost looking forward to the next time they'd talk.


	4. Torfan

**_A/N 27 February 2012: _**_Thanks to again GoogleFloobs for Theta reading help!_

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><p>

**2 November 2178— Torfan, Milky Way**

Shepard sat in the landing craft, gun on his knees, eyes locked with Corinthia's. Being across from him, she decided to take the opportunity to make faces at him. He did his best not to snicker, but some of the ways her expression could contort were nothing short of hysterical.

"Alright, marines, this is it," Major Kyle radioed. As the mission's commanding officer, he was calling all the shots. Shepard was the XO and leading one of the hundred-man infiltration squads. At his behest, Corinthia was on his team instead of in charge of a squad of her own. Though capable, Shepard liked working with her. Her technical skills were unsurpassed and she made fights without mindless killing actually enjoyable.

She winked and stuck her tongue out at him. Despite the hitches in their relationship (meaning, her showing up at inopportune moments — including when Shepard was about to get laid — with questions or a desire to go do something), they had actually become friends. Neither was willing to admit just how much it meant to the other. To Shepard, she was the only person he could trust, to the point that he had even acknowledged that he was a member of a gang (though not which one). To Corinthia, he was simply everything: friend, family, a crush. She knew others and got along with them just fine, but she would drop everything and be with him if he asked. Did she like him? Yes, yes she did. Did he like her? No, no he didn't. Eighteen or not, she was still a kid in his head, one that he didn't want as a mentee and one who refused to let him influence her moralistically.

He shook his head. "You know, now might be a good time to get serious," he shouted over the roar of the engines.

"Eh, whatever," she answered, waving a hand in dismissal. As per usual, she wasn't taking his advice. Actually, she tended not to listen to his orders, either, when they were directed at her mood or personality. In a battle, she always did as he said unless she had a better idea, in which case she argued with him for five minutes until the point was moot, he won, or they came to some kind of middle ground.

"Helmets on!" Kyle radioed.

Corinthia pressed a button on her armor, the helmet rising and covering her head. She barely managed to sweep her bangs out of the way. She was still very self-conscious about her scars (especially around Shepard, for some strange reason) and she concealed them so well that very few people actually knew they existed.

Shepard put on his helmet, shaking his head at her. She was like a mockingbird, in the sense that she was attracted to "shinies". To her, shinies were: gadgets, gizmos, upgrades, and abdominal muscles (though _why_ he was still unable to explain).

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Nothing," he answered. "Just hope that comes off eventually."

"Spoil sport."

The other soldiers exchanged glances. Shepard wasn't the sort to tolerate rumor, so he'd made it abundantly clear that anything between himself and Corinthia was one hundred percent platonic. Besides, anyone who saw him at a bar knew that he usually went home with a woman (or two, Corinthia excluded, since she managed to disappear the moment he started hitting on someone). Still, that didn't stop them from wondering. They bantered like they were married, more often than not, and Shepard glared dangerously at anyone that looked at her wrong. So, no matter what Shepard or Corinthia attested, everyone assumed they were sleeping together, despite the differences of their ranks. A short investigation conducted by the military into their relationship revealed nothing but still, rumors persisted.

The shuttle slowed and landed. Torfan was a small moon with no atmosphere and just enough gravity to keep anyone on the ground. Pirates and mercenaries used the deep passages within Torfan as their bases, which were well hidden by the eerie blue light cast from the moon's parent. The blue gas giant filled the sky marking the barren landscape seem pale and colorless. The Alliance had spent two years tracking the batarian raiders responsible for the Skyllian Blitz and now they had them cornered.

Shepard undid his harness and had jumped onto the moon before Kyle had given the order. Seconds later, Corinthia landed at her side, her grin wider than usual.

"No messing around in the low grav," he ordered.

"You still refuse to throw me using biotics, so if this is the best I'm going to get, I'm going to take it," she answered haughtily.

Shepard shook his head. "I told you: on your birthday."

Behind them, a couple Marines couldn't suppress their laughter. Shepard rounded on them, snapping, "That's enough! You're soldiers, so you'd better fucking act like it."

"Sir!" they answered, saluting.

"Ranks, Lieutenant?" Corinthia murmured.

"Whatever," he answered. He didn't care if she ignored his rank, but when the other marines started talking, Corinthia was always the first to stop the snickering.

"Major, this is Shepard. We're at Alpha Base," Shepard radioed. "Permission to start Operation Flash Flood?"

"Granted," Kyle answered. "Good luck, Lieutenant. Kyle out."

Shepard smirked and turned to Corinthia. "Cut off all radio contact with him."

She blinked. "Uh... what? I mean, right away, Lieutenant." She opened her omni-tool and started working.

Shepard cracked his neck. "Ci-Ci, you're my second. Jacobs, Milton: take your squads and be my left and right flank. Sorin, my back."

"All external radio transmissions jammed, Lieutenant," Corinthia muttered.

"Theirs, too?"

"Theirs, too."

He nodded, satisfied. "Will Kyle be able to hack through?"

She snorted. "Yes, and he'll do it riding a unicorn over a rainbow. Of course he can't, Lieutenant. Like hell I'd leave a loophole like that."

"I get it," he answered. He glanced around and pulled her aside. "Listen, I didn't get a chance to tell you before we left, but I can't have any of your bullshit during this mission. I don't care how funny it is, just don't fuck this up for me."

Her expression softened and sobered. As harsh as he may have sounded, she knew very well that he was simply asking her to act serious during the mission. "I'm not going to do anything like that, Shepard. Promise."

"So you're going to take orders?"

"Yes."

"No matter what I ask?"

She narrowed her eyes. "What are you planning?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." He backed away from her. "Find me some pirates to kill."

"Aye, aye, Cap'n," she replied.

Shepard winced and glared at her. She blushed faintly beneath her helmet and muttered something about "unavoidable pirate jokes". In any other situation (especially if they were out drinking), Shepard might have played along, but he was in mission-mode, which meant that any distractions were not going to be tolerated.

"No sign of activity," Milton radioed.

"Same here, Lieutenant," Sorin added.

Corinthia's fingers danced through her omni-tool, screens extending that Shepard didn't even know were possible with the personal computer. "There's some kind of magnetic field blocking the readings, LT. There's about a one-mile buffer zone five klicks north."

"Show me," Shepard murmured, coming to her side. He scanned the map. "Then we're going there. Sorin, stay back and hold this position. Jacobs and Milton with me."

They advanced. Shepard's hands were already glowing with his biotics, but he was calm enough to keep his finger off of his assault rifle's trigger. He could feel Corinthia beside him, the orange glow of her omni-tool turning purple in the planet's blue light. Her tension was almost palpable. This was a good thing, because nerves made her focus all the more (at least in battle).

"Shepard! We've got company!" she shouted suddenly.

Shepard raised his weapon and looked around. "Where?"

"We just entered the magnetic bubble. Thirty meters at best. Looks — "

She didn't have time to finish as the mercenaries started shooting. Shepard automatically put a barrier around himself and Corinthia.

"I want to know where they are, how many there are, and what they've got," he ordered.

"On it," she replied, working quickly. "Don't worry about covering me; just shoot the bastards."

Shepard didn't need to be told twice. He dropped the field and began shouting orders for his squad to advance. "Sorin, get your ass down here!"

"We're outnumbered, sir!" a soldier called, panicking as the man next to him fell.

"YOU'LL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I TELL YOU TO!" Shepard replied. "CI-CI! WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY MAPS?"

"I'm working on it!" she answered irately. "Don't push me, Johnny Boy, or else you won't get anything."

Shepard rolled his eyes and went back to her, ignoring the fire raining down on them and the bodies falling around him. Looming over her wasn't going to make her work any faster, but he could see what she was finding.

"I'm in," she announced a few seconds later. "They've got papier-mâché firewalls. Dolts..."

He put up another barrier between them and the enemy fire. "Give me the maps."

She flicked her fingers towards him, his omni-tool flaring to life and showing him the layout of the tunnels, complete with red dots for the enemies. He smirked cruelly. It might have been a bottleneck, but Shepard's unit wasn't outnumbered. After they passed the first fifty yards of tunnels, they'd be shooting fish in a barrel.

Below him, Corinthia took out her sniper rifle and went prone. "Three turrets, twenty mercs..." she murmured. After a steadying breath, she started shooting. She wasn't the best sniper in the Alliance by any means, but she could kill most un-shielded enemies in one shot.

Shepard stepped behind her, giving her cover fire as she removed the guards from their posts.

A moment later, she shouted, "CLEAR!"

Shepard sprinted forward, feeling her rather than hearing her follow directly behind him. His squad followed, confused and out of formation.

"Sir, we're taking heavy casualties!" Milton radioed.

"Just kill anything that moves," Shepard replied lowly, uninterested. He vaulted over a barricade, punching a merc so hard that the man's helmet fractured. The air escaped with a sickening hiss as the man's screaming signaled his blood boiling. Corinthia killed him out of mercy, grappling with another man a moment later. Shepard used his biotics to throw her attacker off and drag her to his side.

The mercenary camp was in uproar. They were well-equipped, but clearly hadn't expected the soldiers to make it this far. Shepard realized that he was probably the only one accustomed to hand-to-hand combat, but having Corinthia clutched to his chest wasn't going to help him in that regard.

She broke free of his grasp first, ducking and weaving towards a door. As per usual, she ignored the shots flying in her direction (even the ones hitting her shields, and what Shepard strongly suspected was actually her armor). He dispatched a merc heading in her direction, and then another and another... Before he even knew it, he was fighting to protect her, whilst his own troops fell like flies.

"SHEPARD? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" Kyle demanded.

"Getting inside, sir," Shepard replied casually.

"You're ignoring orders, soldier."

"I had my orders and I'm executing them... sir," Shepard hissed, cutting the transmission. "Ci-Ci, why the fuck is the Major talking to me?"

"Because I'm busy, that's why!" she answered, annoyed. "Besides, I'm trying to get into the turrets. They're picking us off like flies."

"Fuck that. Just get us inside," Shepard answered.

She stopped and looked at him with narrowed eyes. "You're kidding me, right?"

Instinctively, Shepard seized her throat. "You'll do whatever the fuck I tell you, Lieutenant," he hissed.

She threw him off. "Aye, aye, sir," she answered lowly.

Shepard had seen her annoyed before, but never truly angry. He shivered at the fire in her eyes (whether it was out of fear or something else he didn't know) and released her. Though not about to change his orders, he actually thought twice about it.

The door opened with a hiss. Corinthia ducked inside immediately to open the next door. Shepard opened his comm. "Milton and Jacobs, with me. Sorin, clean up out here. We aren't taking any prisoners."

"Sir," they all answered, going to execute his orders.

Shepard stood across from Corinthia, checking his assault rifle. "Doors in five, four, three, two, one..." she murmured. Right on time, the entrance opened. "Giving us an ear. ETA thirty seconds."

"Milton, you first. Jacobs, after me," Shepard ordered.

The soldiers pressed past him. Shepard hardly noticed that what had been seventy-five men was now barely forty. Corinthia, on the other hand, did. She frowned and glared at him. This wasn't the time for her to bring up any lover's tiffs — uh, arguments between friends, but she was damn tempted.

Shepard met her eyes. She shivered and retreated. There had been more than a few stories about the sort of monster he could be, but she'd never seen it. His mouth was twisted into a sadistic smile, his eyes were ablaze (almost literally, with his biotics nearly flowing out of them), and he seemed to pulsate with some kind of dark aura. He was already taller than her, but she felt tiny and insignificant. If they hadn't been friends, she would've run screaming — and she was still tempted to, anyway. Her heart raced and she inhaled sharply. Scared to death of him or not, he was _sexy_ when he was pissed.

He stepped through the door, the remainder of his squad following. She remembered herself and scrambled to her feet.

"He's fucking insane," Jacobs muttered. "How the hell do you stand him, Lieutenant?"

Corinthia shook her head. "I'd answer, but he'd have both our heads."

"You mean my head. He wouldn't hurt you."

"The bruises on my neck suggest otherwise."

Jacobs snorted. "Fucking the commander, eh? No wonder why he keeps saving your ass instead of everyone else's'."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow, completely unaware of what she'd said. "What the hell are you talking about? We went from friendly fire to sex — This conversation is over, Sergeant." She moved ahead, blushing furiously when she realized what Jacobs had inferred from her comment. _That'll teach you to keep your mouth shut..._

The pirate tunnels wound around, proving to be more than deadly for the squad. There were bottlenecks every fifty yards. By the time Shepard's team cleared the area, there were only fifteen soldiers left standing. He himself had taken a shot to the head, which shattered his helmet and left him with a long gash going up into his hairline. The blood dripping down his face made Corinthia shiver, though she wasn't sure if it was out of fear or attraction.

Bodies lay strewn everywhere, Alliance and mercenary alike. Jacobs and the three men left from his team went around collecting dog tags. The seven men from Milton's squad helped the last three of Shepard's to find any extra mercenaries and kill them.

Shepard pushed a body off of the main controls. The entire tunnel system had led to a central command station, which controlled the turrets and dispatched orders to everyone. Corinthia had hacked and taken control of everything, thereby helping what was left of the Alliance soldiers under Major Kyle's command. She sat in a chair, manipulating buttons and screens. How she could multi-task twelve things, Shepard had no idea.

"Looks like their leader managed to escape," Corinthia announced.

"FUCK!" Shepard yelled, punching the controls. His chest heaved. After all of that, the man was still alive. "Goddamn mother fucking bastard..."

"This is Major Kyle," the man radioed, sounding weary and near-panicked. "What the hell happened down there, Shepard? Answer me!"

Shepard signaled for Corinthia to cut the transmission. She didn't. "We've taken the base. We're eliminating any remaining threats, sir," she replied.

"Who's this?"

"Lieutenant Corinthia-Imreas, sir."

"Why isn't Shepard answering me?"

"He's busy, sir. Corinthia out." She ended the transmission.

Shepard clenched a fist. "I gave you orders, Lieutenant."

She removed her helmet and shut off her comm. "The orders you gave got seventy-five men killed, Shepard," she hissed. "Like hell I'm going to listen to you now."

He rounded on her. "You'll do as I say!"

"FUCK YOU!" she screamed.

He clenched a fist, his biotics flaring dangerously. "Don't push me, Corinthia. I won't hesitate, Friend or not."

"Hah! I'd like to see you try!"

They locked eyes. As accustomed as he was to seeing her timid, seeing her angry, stubborn, and obstinate made her look... He wasn't sure if he could describe it. He relaxed, his biotics subsiding, though his gaze remained as cold and hard as ever. "I got the job done. It would've taken days if Kyle'd had his way. I did what I had to to get the job done, so don't you dare start screaming at me."

"Did what you had to? You never even tried to help anyone else!"

"I saved _your _ass more times that I care to count. Don't bitch at me for that!"

"Like I care! There are only twenty-five of us left. That means three-quarters of the men here died just because YOU had to run in head-first and not bother to plan ANYTHING!"

They were nose-to-nose. Her chest was heaving as she sucked in breath, her mind working overtime to think of new ways to yell at him. He prepared himself for another onslaught, but she relaxed and stepped away, her shoulders drooping and head hanging. "I'm sorry, Shepard, but it's just that everything happened so quickly that I don't think either of us noticed what was really happening. I've never seen you like this before and it's..." She shivered and rubbed one of her arms uncomfortably. "I'm scared of you. You know that, don't you?" she whispered.

He blinked. "You're... what?"

She took another step back from him. "I'm frightened of you."

Shepard cracked his knuckles. Nothing of what had happened bothered him, but the idea that Corinthia actually _feared_ him was unnerving. Maybe he had thought her immune to his darkness, but she was cowering before him like a frightened rabbit. His eyes softened a little as he moved closer to her.

She retreated. "Don't..."

"I'm not going to hurt you, Ci-Ci," he told her as gently as he could.

She stopped moving away, though she didn't look convinced.

His hands landed on her shoulders. "You have to understand, Cassie... This is me, without any masks or anything held back. If you don't like it... There's nothing I can do about it. Killing is part of who I am. Not caring is part of that, too, and not bothering to protect anything except — Look, just... Please, don't look at me like... like I'm some kind of monster. I know that I am, but seeing _you_ think it isn't... is... Fuck. You know what I mean, don't you?"

She sighed and relaxed. "Fine, but you're taking me out for my birthday, and this time you aren't allowed to make other plans. I don't want to walk in on your happy-fun-sexy-time again."

Shepard hadn't ever been embarrassed about having relationships before, but the way she'd put it made his stomach twinge with guilt. He raised his fingers to touch her cheek, but she twitched away before he could make contact. He dropped his hand, though he couldn't help but notice her flush. _What the hell were you thinking_? he thought, kicking himself mentally. "I promise. No women that night except you. Assuming I'm not court martialed before that."

She smiled gratefully. "Thank you... Look, do you need me to... smooth this over?"

He shook his head. "What's the point? The job's done. Like the Alliance will give a fuck that some grunt soldiers died in a fight. Saved them time and money, if you ask me."

Corinthia shuddered. "How can you be so cold?" she breathed, more to herself than to him.

He stiffened. For the first time in his life, he actually cared about what someone else thought of him. If it had been anyone else... Shepard _liked_ his reputation. He enjoyed soldiers doing exactly what he asked since they were too afraid to fight back. He relished the sensation of people recognizing him and running in fear. The mission wasn't over, but he was pretty sure that there would be even more stories circulating before he even arrived back.

Perhaps he'd underestimated the value of friendship. Yes, he'd started talking to Corinthia because he thought she could be useful (which she undoubtedly was), but the dynamic had changed into something else, although he didn't know what. She'd gotten annoyed with him a few times about one thing or another, but not like this. His stomach plunged a little as a horrible thought crossed his mind: that she would break off their friendship.

"I can't tell you now," he answered quietly. "When we're off this rock. When I take you out. Ask me then."

"But — Alright." She ran her fingers through her hair and moved back to the controls. "Should I get Major Kyle back? Or try and get the Alliance?"

Shepard shook his head. "No point. Kyle's probably on his way over here already to chew me out."

"Not that you care."

"The man's a pussy. Like he'd even begin to intimidate me."

"So... How did I do?"

He smirked. "For someone your size, you can be a regular little spitfire."

"Uh..."

"I wasn't intimidated, but I was..." He trailed off. "Don't worry about it. This whole situation was out of the ordinary."

"Not for us," she muttered.

"Yeah, not for us..."

She hesitated before going back to him. "You've got blood on your face."

"Doesn't bother me," he growled.

"Oh... If you say so." She opened her omni-tool again and started doing... something.

"What is it this time?" he asked.

"Nothing, actually."

He covered her omni-tool hand with his. "Then stop messing around with it."

Jacobs coughed from the doorway. "Sir, Major Kyle is here. He wants to see you."

Shepard withdrew from Corinthia and wordlessly walked out the door.

Jacobs narrowed his eyes at Corinthia. "With all due respect, ma'am, it's a fucking insult that you two are in here making out after everything that just happened."

Corinthia clenched a fist. "Jacobs, I'm only going to say this once, so listen up. There is nothing between Shepard and me. Bring it up again and I'll tell the Alliance about your little fiasco on Illium."

Jacobs blanched. "How... How do you...?"

"Don't ask questions, Sergeant. Now, get back to your duties, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Corinthia sighed as the doors hissed closed. The only reason she said there was "nothing" between herself and Shepard was because he clearly didn't care for her the way she did him. However, what had happened was... disturbing. Akuze had been a bonding moment, but now she was re-thinking her attraction to the man. He'd been more than frightening; he'd been terrifying, possibly even horrifying. She wasn't looking forward to being alone with him, probably because one of them would start yelling at the other. They were both stubborn, and even though she usually let him win, she wasn't going to this time. He had to see what he'd done and understand that it wasn't a good thing.

"Evac's in six hours," Shepard radioed, his voice even more irate than ever. "You all have that long to clean up the mess."

* * *

><p><strong>7 November 2178—Norfolk, United North American States, Earth, Sol System<strong>

Shepard ordered Ci-Ci the girliest drink he could think of, whilst getting a beer for himself. She laughed when he set down the fluorescent pink, umbrellaed, fruit-accented, and bulbous glass in front of her.

"What the hell is this?" she asked between giggles.

"They called it a Tootie-Frootie-Pootootie," he answered. "I had to give up man points to order it… and tell them you were my honey-bunny."

Corinthia knew very well that he was trying to make things up to her. They hadn't spoken since they left Torfan, it was her birthday, and, as much as he didn't care what happened on the small moon, he knew that it had upset her deeply.

Angry at him or not, she couldn't suppress a smile. "That's against regulation, Lieutenant."

The Alliance forbade any dating between officer of different ranks. Even if they were of the same rank, they were always assigned to different ships or squads. There were other rules regarding gambling and other things, but they were only really enforced if a problem arose. With romance, though... The Alliance didn't tolerate it, even if the offenders married.

"Fuck regulation," he growled, raising his beer to his lips.

She blinked. "Uh... Did you just..."

"If I wanted to date you, Ci-Ci, I'd ask you out. I was just trying to get you to smile. Can't you take a joke?"

"Well... I'm sorry, John, but I'm still mad at you." She crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat.

"What else was I supposed to do?" he hissed. "I'm not about to make excuses just to make you happy. You know me better than that."

She bit her lip and toyed with the rim of her drink. "Shepard..."

"John."

She blinked. "What?"

"Call me John. About fucking time you did, I say. 'Shepard' is too... It's what everyone else calls me. You're... not that."

She narrowed her eyes. "You're trying to win your way back into my good graces, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," he answered immediately. "Is it working?"

"Three of these and it might," she replied, sipping her drink. "This is good."

He clinked his beer bottle against her glass. "Cheers, Cassie."

She smiled, surprised. "Cassie? You've never called me that."

"Do you prefer Ci-Ci?"

"As long as it isn't Cassiopeia or Iphigenia, I don't really care."

"Ci-Ci it is, then." He sipped his beer. "What's that stand for, again? I can never remember..."

"Cassiopeia Iphigenia Corinthia-Imreas," she answered.

"I thought it was 'Cassandra'. Shows me how much I know."

She gritted her teeth. "You don't even know my name? Geez, Johnny..."

"Do NOT call me that," he growled, fists clenching.

She retreated. "I'm sorry..."

He shook his head. "It's not you, it's..." He took a deep breath. He wanted her to trust him, badly. He wasn't even sure why that desire was really there, but it was. "When I was with the Reds, they called me that."

Shepard could only hope that she'd appreciate how difficult it was for him to even say those two sentences.

"And you don't like to dwell on it, I get it," she murmured, looking at anything but him.

"If you don't want to be here..."

"I do."

"Then what the fuck is up with you?"

She frowned. "What do you think? Do you know what they're calling you?"

He nodded, failing to avoid smirking. "The Butcher of Torfan."

"And you _like_ that?"

"Hell yeah."

He regretted his words as she got to her feet.

"Ooh, you're just... just... Ooh!" She stomped her foot like an angry child.

He caught her wrist. "Wait, Cassie, please... You're mad at me, I get it. I'm not... normal. You know that death doesn't bother me. So I charged in there and didn't think about it. Do I regret it? No, not really, but... It's past. You're alive because I — You're alive. Isn't that enough?"

"No," she muttered mutinously, but she didn't try and break away from him.

"Then what the hell do you want from me?"

"I don't know! To be good? To be human and not... whatever it is you are."

He let her go. "So why'd you let me take you here?"

"Because you're my friend, whether you like it or not. I know you can be better than that. Yes, I'm still confused about what happened on Torfan, too. We killed five hundred men in less than four hours. They took almost a hundred percent casualties, but still... I don't know, John. I just don't know..."

He released her so that she could go back to her seat. Frankly, he didn't have anything to say. All he could feel was relief that she wasn't declaring their relationship over. "I'm not going to apologize."

"I don't expect you to," she replied. "I'm not sure you ever have, really."

He idly thumbed the label on his bottle. "I've never cared what anyone else thought of me. Never really regretted anything."

"I know. You're Emotionless Man."

He winced. "You know, though, it is pretty damn insulting when you call me that."

She shied away. "I'm sorry..."

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, so'm I..."

"For what?"

"For... snapping. I don't know. I feel like I fucked it up with you majorly. Don't ask me why, but I do. I don't like it. You're... Fuck, where do I start?"

She smiled and squeezed his hand. "Yeah, I like you, too, John."

His stomach plunged. In all honesty, he had never even _considered_ that he'd been attracted to her in that manner. She was too young — having literally just turned nineteen — too perky, too innocent, too... everything. Too much, even. Deep down, he wanted her, but that tiny kernel was so hidden behind layers of arrogance, emotionlessness, cruelty, and sadism. She was his true opposite, in nearly every way, and he innately felt like he was corrupting her by behind close to her.

He gulped audibly. She cocked her head to one side. "Are you alright, Shepard? What? Did you think I meant it like _that_?" She laughed nervously, releasing his hand and reaching for her drink. "I mean, you're rugged and all that, but..."

"Yeah," he answered calmly, downing the remainder of his beer a moment later. "Yeah, I agree completely. Platonic."

"Platonic," she repeated.

His eyes scanned the bar, sliding over several women standing at the counter and just waiting to be picked up.

Corinthia crossed her arms. "It's insulting, you know."

"What is?" he replied, not looking at her.

"The way you're looking at them, like they're a gazelle or something."

He turned his attention back to her. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She leaned forward. "Hello? Did it ever occur to you that I don't like it when you leave with a woman on your arm? You and I both know you're never going to talk to her again. You're _using_ her and then just tossing her aside."

"She's not like you."

"So? She's still a person. Besides, it makes me feel like you're just going to... to... to toss me aside when you've gotten everything out of me you can."

He wasn't sure how to answer. If he said anything, he was going to start yelling at her for pointing out all his faults. He already knew about them and he'd _liked_ her because she ignored them. Apparently even the blissfully ignorant could only handle so much.

He got to his feet. "I'm getting another beer. Do you want something else?"

"Double Alabama Slammer," she answered.

Shepard strolled to the bar. The women in question smiled alluringly at him. "Hello, soldier. Want to buy me a drink?"

"Could you sound any more like a whore?" he snapped.

The woman blanched, expression somewhere between shock and insult. "Bu — Why you little —"

"Double Alabama Slammer and a triple bourbon on the rocks," Shepard ordered. He turned back to her. "Well, it is a one-night-stand you're looking for, isn't it?"

"I — "

"Would you rather I have pretended to be interested and then leave you alone in bed in the morning?"

She snorted. "Blunt, are we?"

"You have no idea."

"At least you're honest..." She bit her lip and looked him up and down. "Still, not sure I wouldn't say no if you asked."

He glanced back at Corinthia. Her expression was glazed over and she was staring into one of the umbrellas in her now empty glass.

"Worried about your little sister?" the woman cooed. "I'm sure she won't mind."

Shepard shook his head. "She's not my sister."

"Oh, so she's your girlfriend, is she?"

"Something like that..."

"So... Have particular... tastes, do you?"

Shepard picked up his drinks. "Still do, and you look like sloppy seconds to me. You reek of desperation." He shouldered past her, brushing off her screamed insult ("you fucking bastard"), and rejoined Corinthia. "That better?"

"Hm?" she hummed absently. "Oh, I didn't notice... Sorry, my mind's..." She gestured vaguely. "I was just thinking that there was nothing I could've done differently on Torfan..."

"It's your birthday, Ci-Ci. Stop thinking about that. Even _I _don't want to think about that. I may not regret it, but it doesn't mean I want to dwell on it. Besides, tonight's about you. You're going to be the only girl I take home, alright?"

She blushed and smiled. "So... We're still friends?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. This emotional shit isn't easy for me, but... Listen, Cassie, you aren't disposable to me. Maybe you were at first, but now you aren't. I can't exactly put words to it, either. I didn't have friends, and the ones that did were just using me, too, but you and me's different and you know it." He ran his hand over his head. "You do understand me, don't you? I feel like I'm rambling like some fucking drunk and you're just sitting there with that smile of yours and waiting for me to say something else stupid."

"It's not stupid. Actually, it's kinda... sweet." She grinned. "It's good to know you've got a soft side, even if it's in porcupine terms."

"Uh... what?"

"Well, you're still prickly, but porcupines can be SOOOO cute! AND they've got soft and ticklish tummies."

"Porcupine?" he repeated. "That's what you see me as?"

"Well, no, not really, but, c'mon, you _have_ to like it."

He took a gulp of bourbon. "I am so glad I am not telepathic... Are you going to tell me?"

"What you really are?"

"Yeah."

"Hm... Grizzly Bear. Or maybe a tiger. Lion. Liger. Dragon. No, I'm sticking with bear. Or wolf. Ooh, yeah. Wolf. We're going with that one. You're a wolf."

He smirked. "You hit six animals. Can you get another four?"

"Easily. Hawk, cobra, bat, and echidna."

"Echidna?"

"It's another kind of porcupine. Wait, take that back. Hawk, porcupine, hedgehog, and echidna."

He shook his head. "And now you're twelve again..."

She shrugged and sipped her drink. "So? I've gotta get it out of me now so that I don't mess up another battle for you."

"Actually, you were very well behaved last time."

"I shouldn't have been."

"No, you shouldn't have been." He didn't actually agree with her, but he didn't want to argue again. His mind was still going over their relationship, slowly drifting to the conclusion that he _could_ like her. Now that he was looking for it, she was pretty, and her scars gave her an odd kind of edge that most women avoided. Then again, only being able to see one of her eyes could get annoying at times (since she rarely left the scars uncovered), but part of her fundamental being seemed to be annoying him with her quirks. Honestly, he wasn't minding nearly so much as he used to.

Regardless, no matter what he decided, nothing could or would come of it. Their promotion schedule was such that he would always outrank her, unless by some miracle she ended up a lieutenant commander, which meant that there would always be the fraternization regulations. If he decided that he liked her enough to try something, regs wouldn't even begin to stop him, but it would take something as impossible as him falling in love (which wouldn't happen when Hell froze over and the Devil himself hosted Santa Claus and Jesus for an chaste orgy) for him to even consider the possibility. He didn't want a relationship, not a real one, at least. It meant that someone would hold sway over him, expect him to be considerate and/or responsible to, and, most unrealistically, treat as better than everyone else (though if he could manage to see her as better than himself remained to be seen).

"Liar," she muttered with a smirk, taking a mouthful of her new drink. She grimaced and pushed it towards him. "Why did I order this?"

"Because you were pissed at me and wanted something to get you tipsy," he answered. "And how'd you know I was lying?"

"Because you said something nice."

He put his elbows on the table and pointed a finger at her face. "Hey, I am perfectly capable of being nice."

She snorted. "Prove it."

He sighed, trying to summon a compliment. Her eyes? He could only see one of them, so no point. Scars? Only if he wanted to get slapped. Skin? Creepy. Hair? Well, she _had_ brushed it, for once. Lips? No, no way. Overall, he guessed that she looked alright... Was she wearing make-up?

He took a deep breath. "Fine. You look..." He paused, trying to find a better word than 'alright'. "You look good, I guess."

"Good as in..."

"What the hell do you want from me, Ci-Ci? You look good. Like you tried to look good. I mean, you're — Fuck, please don't make me define it any more."

She raised an eyebrow, not convinced.

"What? You really need more than that? I don't know how to compliment you without making you sound like a whore."

"Try it. C'mon, I wanna hear!" she pressed playfully after his hesitation.

He pressed his lips together for a long moment, as if trying to summon up something else, but finally he shook his head. "I can't do this. You're my friend. I'm not trying to pick you up and anything I'd say would be out of place or just wrong."

"Like I'd mind. Best I get it soldiers asking me if I'll put out for them like I do you or just how good you are. If they're girls, I mean," she added quickly.

"I got the impression that not a lot of people liked me."

"Everyone's scared shitless of you, but they all respect you. I even heard they're going to promote you soon."

He toyed with the rim of his drink. "Yeah, about that..."

She gaped. "Seriously? You're getting another bar after Torfan?"

"Not after; for."

"You're kidding me..."

"Not happy for me?"

"Can't decide. I mean, if the Alliance is going to... Congratulations, Lieutenant... Commander, I mean."

"Commander Shepard..." He smirked. "That's got a nice ring to it."

She thought for a moment. "Yeah, it does, doesn't it? I'll probably never make it that far..."

"Yeah, probably."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

He spread his hands innocently. "What? You and I both know that you aren't commanding officer material."

"Because I giggle and joke around?"

"Pretty much."

She pouted. "So what happened to trying to compliment me?"

He shook his head. "Shit. It's your birthday. I should at least try..."

"It's fine, John. I know you're not... soft. I mean, you can't be with your body. And personality. And everything, really, I guess." She blushed faintly and suppressed a giggle.

He rolled his eyes. "How often are you even aware of what you're saying?"

"Never, really. Ever since I stopped having salarians dissecting my every word, I guess I've started letting it all out of me."

"Still using that as an excuse?"

"Excuse? Is that what you — Oh, I guess I am, aren't I? Sorry." She rubbed her arm uncomfortably.

"Don't look like that," he ordered. "You're too old to pout."

"No one is too old to do that. You pout, too."

"Do not."

"Don't give me that. Whenever you're denied a fight or have to listen to me, your brow furrows in the most adorably confused and annoyed way..."

"Adorable? That isn't a word that's usually associated with me."

"I'd actually venture that I'm the first person to associate with you at all, Shep."

"And you would be the person to do it," he muttered.

"Can we go do something else?"

"Definitely," he answered, getting to his feet. "Maybe something that isn't going to get us at each other's throats."

"Dancing?"

"Can't do it."

"Uh... Karaoke?"

He crossed his arms. "I may be doing my damnedest to be nice to you, but I'm NOT singing."

"Alright, alright. Fine. Nothing that deals with music. I mean, do you even _like _it?"

"I like it just fine, but only if it's throbbing and there's someone grinding up against me, which I know you aren't going to do."

"You've got that right." Though she liked Shepard plenty, she was just a little too self-conscious for something like that.

They stepped into the open. Norfolk was still a coastal city, not to mention mostly populated by those in the Alliance Military. In comparison to other of the megacities, it was near pristine, at least near the base Corinthia and Shepard were stationed at. That didn't stop the air from smelling like dead fish, cigarette smoke, fuel fumes, and stagnant water. Corinthia waved a hand in front of her nose. "You know, I love Earth and all, but I'd rather breathe the filtered air on the Citadel any day."

Shepard inhaled deeply, feeling himself relax. As much as he tried to dismiss the effect the Reds had on him, being in a big city and the dirty air always calmed him. He felt like he belonged. Though he liked the Alliance well enough, he still felt like an outsider walking amongst them. He was smarter than most of the marines (except Corinthia, but she was her own little sort of insane genius), had no boundaries, and a near limitless potential. Being a biotic helped, certainly, but he didn't feel that those powers were necessary to his success.

Then again, he could very well have been dead if he hadn't... and if it hadn't been for Corinthia. He wasn't ready to admit that he needed her, but he was pretty sure that she was more than useful to have around.

"Smells fine to me," he growled cheerfully, clapping her on the shoulder.

She rubbed her smarting skin. "Oi! That hurt..."

"I didn't hit you that hard, Ci-Ci."

"Doesn't mean it doesn't sting."

He chuckled. "Wimp."

"Hey, who's the one that never notices when there's a bullet heading towards me? I mean, when is the last time that I _noticed_ I was under attack?"

"Just now."

"In a battle, I mean."

"You do notice; you just don't care."

"Point. So... know any good vids?"

"Kinda-sorta. I've got quite the collection..."

"Back at the barracks?"

"Nope. Omni-tool. I can project it anywhere, you know."

He grabbed her arms. "Then we're going to my place. Like hell we're watching something on some back-alley wall. I know what we'll find back there, but you..."

She cocked her head to one side. "What are you talking about?"

"Be glad you're still this innocent. It won't last long." He hesitated before adding, "You can pick a vid."

She grinned. "Seriously?"

He gritted his teeth. "I know I'm going to regret this..."

"That's what she said."


	5. Epiphany

**_A/N 30 March 2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing! Check out his story **The Butcher**! It's well-written, interesting, and VERY different :D Second, in general, after playing ME3 it has been clarified that Shepard is a full Commander, not a LCDR, as I had previously assumed. I am working to correct this inconsistency, but it will take time since I have quite a few chapters left to go!_

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>10 April 2183 — Norfolk, Virginia, Earth, Sol System<strong>

Shepard hated having to wear his dress blues, but he did it without argument. He was going to see an Admiral, which meant that he had to pretend that he actually cared. Well, he did. He wanted to be an admiral eventually (mostly because he couldn't see himself as anything but a soldier anymore).

The base in Norfolk was one of the few buildings that hadn't been updated on the outside. The buildings were still red brick with white columns. Shepard hated the entire look. He enjoyed the cold metal shells that made skyscrapers and the modular cubes that served as living quarters. It was the efficiency of it all, but the bricks just looked like work to him.

Captain Anderson was waiting outside. He was of average height, with a round face, faint jowls, small eyes, and dark skin. To anyone unfamiliar with him, he looked past his prime, but those who knew his career knew that he was just getting started. Anderson was a legend within the Alliance Navy. He was a war hero, among other things, and one of the few higher-ranking officers that didn't let politics blind him. Rumor had it that he had refused a promotion to admiral just so that he could stay on the front lines.

Despite their different methods, Shepard liked Anderson. If Shepard had to be a different kind of officer, he would've wanted to be like the Captain. Then again, Shepard was perfectly content with his own methods.

Admittedly, Torfan had been the height of his career. He'd earned the nickname "the Butcher of Torfan" (which he'd liked until Corinthia started muttering about it) and, though promoted, he'd only been given a couple minor assignments since. He enjoyed being in command, certainly, and Corinthia made a good XO. He was pretty sure that Corinthia had rigged their stations so that she would be assigned with him almost every time, but he didn't care. He actually enjoyed working with her, although he wasn't really sure how they'd managed to stay friends through their spats (which were quite often). Out of respect for her, he'd avoided another Torfan-like instance, but at the same time he hadn't had the opportunity to do something like it again. He didn't regret his actions, but he understood that anyone else would have or should have.

Captain Anderson nodded at Shepard. "Lieutenant Commander. You're early."

Shepard shrugged. "I'm still on leave and Ci-Ci's still at Arcturus Station, Captain."

Anderson raised an eyebrow. He had worked with Shepard several times before, although it had been nearly two years since their last mission together. The Alliance had investigated Shepard and Corinthia's relationship almost six years before and determined that there was nothing there. Still, it was highly uncommon for soldiers of opposite genders to be _just_ friends.

"She's taking me out for my birthday tomorrow night, sir," Shepard explained. "She won't let me ditch her, either."

"I see. I wouldn't tell that to the Brass," Anderson warned.

Shepard rolled his eyes. "We're almost always assigned together, sir. She's been my XO nine times out of the last ten, so they can't blame us for getting to know each other. Besides, they're the ones that make the assignments. It's their own damn fault for putting her with me."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Anderson murmured.

"They think she rigged it?"

"There are rumors, although it hasn't been anything serious enough to warrant action."

"Sounds like it has Ci-Ci's fingerprints all over it, sir."

"Agreed. You'd better warn her that they're going to be watching her carefully from now on."

"Why me, sir?" Shepard groaned.

"Because she'll listen to you. She's already been written up for minor insubordination."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Who'd do that to her? She usually forget ranks because she's excited about something, Captain."

"I don't know, but I think she'll manage. She usually does. Now, are you ready to go inside?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, sir," Shepard replied lowly. He hated facing down the Admiralty. They were a bunch of old men that simply didn't understand what needed to be done. Luckily for Shepard, most of them were xenophobic enough to agree with his methods.

"That's good enough for me."

They headed inside. Unlike the classical exterior, the interior was far more modern, though still thirty years short of state of the art. The air smelled like sour milk and mildew: a perfect reflection of Shepard's image of the men leading the Alliance Navy.

Admittedly, most of the admiralty stayed on Arcturus Station, the System Alliance capital. The few that were on Earth mainly oversaw the upkeep of the fleet and various other tedious tasks. Every so often, one of the bigger names — Hackett, for example — would come back from Arcturus and have something to say. Though only a two star admiral, he had just as much influence as Ambassador Udina, the human representative on the Citadel.

So, when Shepard walked into the board room and saw Hackett, not to mention several other three and four star admirals, Shepard knew that something big was about to happen... and he didn't know if it was a good thing or not he was involved.

He saluted smartly alongside Captain Anderson.

"At ease," Hackett ordered casually.

In many ways, the Admiral looked like a much older version of Shepard: cold blue eyes, hard edges to all his features (even his wrinkles), and an aura that screamed, "I've seen shit that will make even your hair curl." A long, deep scar marred his visage from ear to lip, only adding to the dangerous image. Hackett was Shepard's biggest proponent among the admiralty, having been responsible for his nomination for the Star of Terra after the Blitz to his slightly early promotion to Lieutenant Commander after Torfan. There had even been rumors of a human up for the Spectres. Secretly, Shepard hoped that it would be him. He had worked his ass off for the Alliance, survived the three biggest incidents since the First Contact War, and was more than proving himself. If it wasn't going to be him, it would be Corinthia. Actually, Shepard thought that she would be put up first, if only because she was "more easily controlled", to quote Major Kyle after Torfan (then again, Kyle had a nervous breakdown, so not a word he said could be taken as truth).

Shepard clasped his hands behind his back, now almost eagerly awaiting Hackett's next words. Next to him, Anderson seemed to know at least something of what was coming, since his face was as placid and serene as ever.

"As you have heard, the Alliance has been working with the turians to develop a new type of stealth ship," Hackett began.

For the first time, Shepard noticed the turian in the room. The alien leaned against the wall in the shadows, eyes locked on Shepard. The Commander returned the gaze levelly, not at all intimidated.

"The first prototype is ready: the _Normandy_," Hackett continued. "No other ship of her kind exists. Captain, she is being given to you. Shepard, you are the executive officer. You are to take her on her maiden voyage to Eden Prime. From there, you'll begin a series of training exercises."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. Christening a ship was only half of a big deal, but it certainly didn't warrant being addressed by the admiralty. He held his tongue, making a mental note to ask Corinthia what the hell was going on. She had a way of knowing everything that was happening, which was just another way to say that she had permanent taps on all Alliance transmissions. He still didn't know how she got away with it.

"Captain, you'll be given crew assignments, but I should mention that Lieutenant Corinthia-Imreas will be joining you as well as second mate. She doesn't know it yet, but she'll be a Lieutenant Commander by the time she boards the _Normandy_."

"Understood, Admiral," Anderson replied.

Shepard was used to Corinthia working with him, but it was the first time that he hadn't noticed some kind of annoyance or hesitation at the fact. He had long suspected that she rigged their assignments so that they could be together, but that was her way of "keeping an eye on him", which she was determined he needed regardless of what had happened since Torfan. He'd stopped caring that she watched him almost three years before, when he first realized that he was truly beginning to care about her.

"And you, Shepard, are being promoted to full commander," Hackett finished.

Shepard saluted. "Thank you, sir."

"Do you have anything to add, Commander?"

Shepard had plenty to say ( namely, "a test mission with me AND Ci-Ci? Like hell that's what's really happening. Mind telling me what's really going on?"), but he shook his head. "No, sir."

The turian's eyes narrowed, regarding Shepard carefully and clearly sensing that the Commander had held back.

"You ship out on the first at 0600. Commander, you are dismissed. I understand that you came off of leave for this meeting, so consider yourself on leave again for an additional twenty-four hours. Captain, if I could speak to you in alone."

Shepard saluted and went outside, the other admirals following moments later as their meeting was adjourned.

The turian stepped forward. "He knows that this isn't what it seems."

"Shepard is one of the shrewdest officers we have," Anderson replied. "Of course he suspects."

Hackett tapped the tips of his fingers together. "But the question is how much."

Anderson shook his head. "Knowing him, he'll know exactly what's happening by the end of tonight. Ci-Ci has her fingers in everything. She'll let him know exactly what's going on before he even sees the _Normandy_."

The turian crossed his arms. "Are you sure she's a wise choice for the Spectres, then?"

Hackett nodded. "Her personality is a little... unique, but she's the most talented hacker the Alliance has. Her intelligence alone makes her a wise choice, but she and Shepard both have survived more than most admirals can boast. She's more than capable."

"But only if she wants to be," Anderson added darkly. "Her true colors really show in dire situations, but that's only because she doesn't feel challenged otherwise."

"Yes, her salarian schooling would have suggested as much," the turian murmured.

"Udina approves of Shepard, certainly, but not Ci-Ci," Hackett added. "He thinks she's a liability."

"Her background suggests that she would leave the Alliance for the Spectres," the turian answered. "Work with and contacts within the STG, abnormally intelligent, rapid promotion, history of ignoring regulation..." The turian trailed off, thinking about something else.

"What are you thinking, Nihlus?" Anderson asked after a long moment.

The turian smirked. "It will be interesting to see them in action. I've heard they make quite the team, but that isn't how the Spectre's operate."

Anderson and Hackett exchanged glances. "True, and she often refuses command if offered," Anderson mused aloud. "But you understand that we can't revoke her candidacy."

"Naturally. Not all Spectres work alone as I do," Nihlus replied.

"Do you want to meet her beforehand?" Anderson asked. "She'll be returning from Arcturus in about three hours."

Nihlus crossed his arms and shrugged apathetically. "I'll see her in action soon enough. Some of her former classmates are Spectres. They have some... interesting stories about her antics. Something about old music and dancing robots?"

Hackett suppressed a snort. Corinthia had rigged several soldier's omni-tools to cause any robots to dance as they passed to a very loud and obnoxious song from the 1990s called "U Can't Touch This" (though _how_ she even dug that up, no one knew). They knew it was her, but hadn't been able to trace it to her. Frankly, Hackett thought it a good thing that she could bring smiles to the soldiers' faces. Few people had that gift after seeing everything that she had.

"I'd pay more attention to the fact that she's indestructible," Anderson answered. "She has more scars than most veterans and I'm pretty sure she only knows where one set of them came from, those being the ones on her face."

Nihlus nodded. "I've heard. Knowing pain is a strength, not a weakness. It shows us our vulnerabilities."

"Are you satisfied?" Hackett asked sternly.

Nihlus opened his omni-tool. "I've learned as much as I need to. I'll make any further inquiries alone." He left, perfectly silent.

Hackett released a slow breath. "What do you think, Anderson?"

"I'm not sure, Admiral. Shepard would jump at the chance. Corinthia might not care."

"When was the last time they operated without each other outside of training?"

"For Shepard? About a eighteen months ago. He investigated some Cerberus activity near Omega."

"I remember hearing that... Lots of bodies."

"But not as many as Torfan, sir. Then Corinthia... Beyond training, there have maybe been three missions over the last five years that Shepard wasn't involved in. Their assignments are always together, so one might go out without the other, but the missions can vary."

"I see why the Brass suspects fraternization, then."

"Shepard doesn't let anyone close, sir. She's as close as they come, but he's too determined to leave something he wants alone. If they were ever going to be together, it already would have happened."

"Do you think it will be a problem, then?" Hackett pressed calmly, unconvinced.

"It might be for her, but I doubt it would be for Shepard. Then again..." Anderson trailed off.

"Captain Corinthia was killed by Cerberus agents," Hackett finished. "I'm aware of her mother's war record, not to mention the Lieutenant's... attitude towards it."

Corinthia rarely mentioned her mother, but the Alliance's only record of her hacking their database was as she attempted to find out what had really happened aboard the _SSV Geneva_. What the Alliance didn't know was that Shepard's mission hunting down Cerberus had been because of Corinthia's interest in the matter. Even Corinthia didn't know why he'd gone and done it (or even that he'd done it for her).

"If we say anything else, the Brass could have more than enough to court martial them both," Hackett said lowly. "They're both fine officers and are going to be even better Spectres. Humanity doesn't need a fiasco right now. They need heroes."

Anderson clasped his hands behind his back. "I can only hope they'll deliver. Shepard is good, but you and I both know how he despises publicity."

Shepard had once punched a reporter and broken the man's nose. The media gave him a wide berth, but every so often word would come that Shepard had pushed or roughed up someone else. Corinthia didn't speak to the press often, either, but she was at least civil about it.

"You and I both know that there aren't any other choices," Hackett growled. "I suggest you get yourself ready. This mission isn't going to be easy."

* * *

><p><p>

**11 April 2183 — Civilian Docks, Norfolk, United North American States**

Corinthia trudged off of the transport, not even smiling. That is, until she saw Shepard waiting for her. She grinned widely and headed towards him.

The docks were packed with people on their ways to destinations all across the galaxy. Since her trip to Arcturus Station wasn't a mission or assignment, she'd taken civilian transport. Personally, Shepard thought she'd done that just so she wouldn't have to be in uniform.

He stood amidst the hoards of waiting families and friends, grimacing a little as everyone hugged and kissed. For a moment, his mind flashed to what it would've been like to kiss Corinthia in greeting, but he dismissed it as soon as it came. He'd sworn never to let himself get attached to her in that way, but every so often an idea would surface. They weren't hard to fight back, granted, but they had starting coming more often than he was comfortable with (at least one a day, sometimes as many as five or six).

She put down her bag and pounced on him. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "Happy to see me?"

"No. It's a Happy Birthday hug," she answered, squeezing him. "Well, and you're fun to hug, but that's another story. AND it's a happy promotion hug. That was fast, making you a full Commander." She playfully punched his arm. "Guess we'll never be the same rank, huh?"

He rolled his eyes and picked up her bag (he felt his ears redden faintly as she thanked him in absolute shock, since he'd never really attempted to be a gentleman). "Alright, what the hell are you going to do to me tonight?"

"You know I'm not going to do anything to you. At least, not anything that's..." She trailed off, blushing. "I mean, it's your birthday and all, and I know that I can ruin the fun for you."

Shepard nodded in understanding. After Corinthia's little outburst regarding his treatment of women, he'd kept his encounters to nights when she wasn't around. That meant that there were far fewer than before, but strangely it didn't bother him as much as he had imagined it would.

"Don't worry about it, Ci-Ci. I think I can handle us going out together, as usual." He started. "Not like that. Just us out as friends."

"Are you alright, Shep?"

"Yeah, yeah. Fine," he muttered, wondering why the hell he'd suddenly caught himself insinuating that they were together. "Your place?"

"Don't see why not. I'd like to clean up, get out of this, and not look like I've been in a transport all day."

"You don't look that bad..."

"After five years, you'd think you could tell a girl she looked pretty no matter what state she was in..."

"I've seen you look better, though."

"Not helping, Shep."

"Fine. No more compliments for you."

She snickered. "I bet that'll last..."

"You bet your pretty little ass it will."

She laughed hysterically. "You know I love you, don't you?"

He smirked. "Of course you do. I'm just so manly that you can't resist."

"Don't count on that."

"Seriously? Cassie, I see you staring at me every so often."

She turned crimson. "So you've got the ideal soldier's body. Big deal."

He shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I dunno. Punish me? Not give me a ride home?"

"I brought my bike."

"Then what the hell are we waiting for? Let's go!" She darted ahead, stopped, and turned back to him. "Where is it?"

He laughed and gestured in the right direction. "Excited, are we?"

"That's what she said."

"For that, you get to carry this." He tossed her luggage back into her arms.

"Hey! It wasn't that bad."

He raised an eyebrow. "My turn."

"Oh, you bastard... You're good."

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Oh my God! You're playing along? I can't believe it!"

"Miracles can happen, you know. I might even start to enjoy this."

"Maybe we should stop while we're ahead?"

"And miss all the fun? Hell no. I like doing this."

"Can I say it again?" she asked pitifully.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Oh, come on..."

"Ci-Ci?"

"Hm?"

"No."

* * *

><p><strong>5 hours later — the Old Man's Cup, Norfolk<strong>

Shepard still couldn't believe that he was looking at the same person. Corinthia hadn't gone so far as to wear a dress, but she'd actually tried to make herself look attractive — make-up, a shirt and pants that actually fit her, and combing her hair. She looked legitimately pretty, though not at all in a sexy or seductive way. Just... pretty. Shepard didn't know what other word to put to her. Normally, he barely looked at her at all, but that night he was having trouble taking his eyes off of her. Even the other alluring women in the old-style pub couldn't hold his attention for long enough to get him interesting in leaving with them.

Then again, Shepard didn't have Corinthia's attention. As the organizer of the party, she was running around and making sure that all the good was where it was supposed to be and that the bartender understood that only certain drinks were complimentary. Things were in full swing, but she refused to enjoy herself. As a matter of fact, she was more frazzled than Shepard had ever seen her.

He caught her arm as she passed. "Chill out, Ci-Ci. I didn't ask for this."

"Well, it's your last birthday in your twenties, so you're going to enjoy yourself," she answered absently. "Hey! That cake's for later!"

He grabbed her waist and pulled her onto his lap. Since he was already tipsy, he had no issue touching her or being happy in general. "Jesus, Cassie, relax. If you can't, I can't. You know that."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, John. I wanted this to be perfect, you know? It's the first time we're both on leave at home and really able to, you know, do something..."

"I liked just sitting down with you and having a beer," he murmured, releasing her. She got to her feet and straightened her shirt self-consciously. "I don't know half of these people."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "You've served with all of them over the last six months. The other half are their dates, I guess..." She scratched her head. "Damn. I hope that I've got enough —" She opened her omni-tool and started going through charts.

Shepard groaned. "Please, don't start with that."

She closed the orange hologram, but only looked more worried than before. "Sorry, I'm just..."

"Fixating. Have a drink, talk to some guys, and have some fun. Well, as much as you usually do."

"T-talk to some guys?" she repeated, blinking in shock. "You can't be serious..."

"I have every intention of having company when I go home tonight," he answered, smirking. "It's about time you had a boyfriend, too, you know. You're not eighteen anymore. How old are you, anyway?"

"Twenty-three," she replied darkly. "Some friend you are for remembering."

"I stopped paying attention once you were legally old enough for me to talk to you."

She snorted derisively and reached for her omni-tool, but stopped short.

"You alright?" he asked, more concern coming through than he thought he felt.

"Nothing. It was just a really, really, really long week..." She ran her fingers through her hair (which was now very short) and smoothed her bangs over her scars.

Shepard nodded in understanding. She'd graduated from the Academy and the N7 program years before, but they'd asked her to give a guest lecture on the use of technical skills in the field of battle. Not only that, but she'd had to go to Pinnacle Station to help demonstrate. Working with experienced soldiers was one thing, but with raw recruits it was nothing short of aggravating.

"Now you know how I felt when I first met you," he chuckled.

"Only mostly. I'd at least finished basic during the Blitz. And I knew what I was doing."

"Yeah, right."

"What?" she asked innocently. "You know I did."

He put his arm around her shoulders. "It's fine, Cassie. Go relax. That's an order."

She smirked. "I don't have to listen to you anymore, Shep. I'm an LC now."

"Anderson told me. I've still got you on date of enlistment."

"But this is my party for you, John, so you're going to have to deal with the fact that we're equals right now, hm?"

"First names, tonight, is it?"

"You started it by calling me 'Cassie'."

"I did?"

"Uh, yeah. More than you've called me 'Ci-Ci', actually, since I got back."

"Oh... That's weird. Not intentional."

"It's... Well, I guess I'll have a drink after all." She shifted out of his grasp in order to find the bartender.

Shepard slowly touched his sternum, his stomach plunging a little. _Why the fuck is my heart racing_?

A woman with sultry looks (and hips) slid into Corinthia's place. "Hi," she greeted, dark red lips parting in a seductive smile.

Shepard nodded in reply.

"You're Shepard, aren't you?"

"And if I am?" he answered, automatically turning on the charm.

"Mm," she hummed, shamelessly looking him up and down. "You look like him. Then again I'm not sure that it would change the outcome of this conversation."

He raised his eyebrows. "Is that so?"

She giggled. "Oh, yes..."

Behind her, Corinthia was trying not to gag. She'd never actually heard Shepard have a conversation like that before, nor was she interesting in hearing the conclusion. Worse, she already knew the sinking feeling in her gut was jealousy. Still, Shepard could do whatever he wanted. It wasn't any of her business who he slept with, or if he slept with anyone at all. She'd hoped... it didn't matter what she'd hoped. Shepard would never like her, not like she did him, and she'd accepted that fact almost as soon as they had become friends. Had her feelings faded? No, not really, but she had stopped looking for any evidence that he was capable of legitimate affection. Granted, the way he'd held her just then had thrown her off to no end, but then he had just turned around and started flirting with that... that... harlot.

When Corinthia glanced back, Shepard already had his arm around the woman's waist. It took all of Corinthia's willpower to not start asking very pointed questions to make the Harlot look like the idiot she was.

_Don't do it_, Corinthia thought. _You told him that he could do whatever he wanted, so he can. If that's her, it's her_.

Corinthia downed her drink a bit more quickly than she'd intended, feeling it go straight to her head. "Bad idea..." she muttered, rubbing her eyes. "Oh, shit. I forgot I actually put eyeliner on..." She darted to the bathroom to fix it, not feeling Shepard still watching her. Harlot whispering hotly in his ear or not, he was worried about Corinthia. She was... Wait, what had the woman actually in his arms just said? That she'd — Shepard wasn't going to be staying in the bar for much longer, it seemed.

The bar itself was already packed, and not just with people there to wish Shepard well. As outgoing as she could be, Corinthia was ultimately clingy and nervous in large crowds. She was more likely to hang on to Shepard all night than she was to go and talk to anyone else. He didn't want her around, but then again, he'd been hearing the conversations the other soldiers in the bar were having:

"Damn, that can't be the Lieutenant..."

"Hell yeah it is. Think I should make a move?"

"Go for it, man. She's gotta be wanting something if she looks like that."

"Maybe she'll have a friend..."

"Like who?"

"Whoever's with Shepard. She wouldn't let him hook up with just anyone."

"Maybe that one's got a friend..."

"You don't poach off the Commander unless you want to be fucked up."

"I heard Shepard'll fuck up anyone that tries anything on her."

"Bull shit. He'll be too busy getting laid to pulp anyone that hits on her. Right. I'm gonna go talk to her."

Shepard's insides seethed (_what the fuck is wrong with me?_ he thought) as Hell Yeah went over to talk to Corinthia.

"So... Lieutenant..."

"Yes?" she answered, smiling politely.

"If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?" Hell asked lewdly, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Uh... No, nope, nein, niet, not really," she answered cheerfully.

He blinked. "You're blunt."

"That's what she said."

He laughed too loudly. She winced. "Come with a volume control, yeoman?"

"I'm gonna break yours."

She raised an eyebrow. "What are you even talking about? If it's my omni-tool, then you're going to be in big trouble. No one touches that without my permission."

"Maybe we can test compatibility."

"Trust me, it won't be compatible. You don't have the appropriate technology."

Shepard snorted, barely managing to suppress his laughter. He couldn't tell if Corinthia knew what Hell was up to, but he had a feeling that Hell was going to try harder and she was going to continue dancing in circles around him.

"I could upgrade."

"I doubt it. Some hardware's better left unused."

"Some hardware can't go unused."

"Everything can be replaced."

He gaped. "You... Damn... That's hot..."

"What is?" she asked, clearly not understanding what had crossed his mind.

"But we were just talking about..."

"Technology," she finished.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. What did you think we were talking about?"

"I..."

Shepard smirked smugly. Naturally, Corinthia would be too daft to recognize that someone was trying to pick her up. He was proud of her for ignoring the idiot, because he knew she could do much, much better, but it made him wonder if she even knew what flirting was. Either that or she was the most intelligent woman that walked the galaxy (doubtful).

Corinthia patted Hell's shoulder. "Don't look so confused, unless that pick-up line messed with your head that badly. I didn't think it had. I mean, I'm not that intimidating, am I? It's Shepard you need to soften up with some kind of amusing quip. Then again, why would you want to talk to him? He isn't interested in tech, just guns and all that stuff."

Hell didn't know if he was supposed to be interested or turned off. He looked at her, confused, and finally just walked away.

Damn laughed. "Shit, man, you buuurrnnneeed."

Hell muttered a vague, "Fuck you" and ordered the largest beer he could get.

Corinthia shrugged and rubbed her arm uncomfortably. She didn't like crowds, not when she didn't have someone to hold on to. Insecurity had always been an issue for her, but the party was only making it worse. She was more than regretting planning it (although the way Shepard had his lips locked with the Harlot suggested that he was more than enjoying himself, which was the point, after all).

Corinthia checked her omni-tool for the time. "Well, here goes nothing..." She clambered onto a chair and whistled sharply. "Alright, everyone! Thanks for coming and all that fun stuff. We're here because a certain infamous Lieutenant Commander — Wait, I mean, just straight up and outranking me even more Commander Shepard is having a birthday. Won't be long before he'll outrank everyone else, too."

"Speaking of ranks," Shepard added, pulling her down. "A certain Lieutenant has just been made a Lieutenant Commander."

Corinthia flushed as people applauded. Someone yelled, "Does that mean you two can make out in public now?"

Shepard opened his mouth to retort, but Corinthia beat him to it. "Who said that? Come over here and I'll beat your punk-ass into submission with that reg book, because not only am I younger than all of you, but I also outrank everyone, too! Well, except Shepard, because he's just awesome like that.

"So, well, now I forgot what else I was going to say, so let's just toast and get this party started!"

Everyone cheered, drank, and went back to their business. Corinthia hugged Shepard. "Happy birthday, tough guy," she murmured, squeezing him and getting on tiptoe to lightly kiss his cheek.

He held her back, not letting go of her. He could only think that she smelled good and he actually _liked_ her kissing him. Before he knew what was happening, she was out of his grasp, blushing furiously, and muttering something about needing a drink.

"Well, now that that's over," the Harlot murmured, tracing her fingers along his shoulders and licking his ear, "I've got a real birthday present for you."

Shepard wasn't about to resist and she pulled his lips to hers once more. Corinthia shivered and turned her back to them. If she was certain that Shepard was going to be happier for having a woman, Corinthia would've been happy, but that _thing_ he was kissing wasn't good enough to lick the mud off of his boots.

Kaidan Alenko, a biotic with whom Corinthia and Shepard had worked with a few times before, came over. Alenko looked like he'd walked out of Italy, with olive skin, big brown eyes, thick brows, and slightly wavy black hair. He would've been handsome if he didn't slick his bangs back into a weird sort of Elvis-like swoosh. "Ci-Ci," he greeted, his voice low and rasping.

"Kaidan," she replied, smiling gratefully. With someone else to talk to, she wouldn't be staring at Shepard and wishing she was the Harlot. "Glad you could come."

He shrugged. "Everyone needs to unwind every once in a while. Does Shepard even know who I am?"

"How am I supposed to know? He doesn't tell me anything, really, at least about people. I can't remember the last time he talked about an op and used names of specific people and all that fun gooey sparkly stuff or whatever names are."

"Sounds like him." Alenko raised his eyebrows as Shepard and the Harlot slipped away towards the back. "But that I didn't expect..."

"Whatcha looking at?"

"Nothing," Alenko quickly answered. "Everyone still thinks that you and Shepard are an item."

She laughed loudly. "Yeah, right! Like he'd even look at me."

"Half the bar is."

"They're desperate, then."

"C'mon, Ci-Ci, have a little faith in yourself."

She lightly touched her scars. "I guess... I don't want their attention. Maybe I should just get drunk and... I don't even know what I'd do, then."

"You like him."

"Unfortunately... There's something wrong with me."

"There's a lot wrong with you."

"Point..." She laughed uncomfortably.

"You should tell him that you like him."

"Sure. And get my head bitten off."

"The guy was hugging you half an hour ago. I've never seen him touch anyone when he wasn't kicking their ass."

"Yeah, I guess... But there's also the fact that he's got that harlot on his arm. Uh, where'd he go? I mean, where'd _they_ go?"

"Ci-Ci, you can't be _that _oblivious."

"Huh? Of course I'm not — Oh..." She clenched a fist unconsciously. "I... I'll be over there. Yeah. Over there. Somewhere. Enjoy yourself, Kaidan. I'm going to be over there."

He frowned. "You alright, Ci-Ci?"

"Hm? What? Me? Oh, no, I'm fine, just like Caesar was when he last saw Brutus."

"Uh..."

She smiled, though it was the most strained Alenko had ever seen it. "Don't worry about me, Kaidan. I just feel sick, that's all. Must've been the cheese."

"There isn't any cheese here, but you do look pretty pale. Maybe you should go lie down or something. I have to do that when my L2s get to me."

"Yeah, that sounds... good. I think I saw a sofa in a corner. Uhm... nevermind. That looks rank. I'll find somewhere to pout — I mean, breathe. This place smells so much like beer and whiskey that I'm getting drunk off the secondhand fumes."

* * *

><p>The Harlot smoothed her dress back over her thighs, fixed her hair, and pulled out a hand mirror to check her make-up. "Who's Cassie?" she asked, miffed.<p>

"What was that?" Shepard answered nonchalantly.

"Who's Cassie? You were saying her name."

Shepard finished doing his belt, masking every emotion that was attempting to surface. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

"Don't act so fucking stupid. When you had me against the wall, you kept saying 'Cassie' into my ear like she was some kind of goddess. Who the hell is she?"

Shepard's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I suggest you leave. Now."

The Harlot opened her mouth like she was going to argue, but she met his gaze, paled, and left almost as quickly as she'd gotten into his pants.

The second the back door closed behind her, Shepard sank to the ground in sheer horror. "Fuuuuck," he breathed. He had been wondering why he didn't feel satisfied, but that? It wasn't right. No, wait, maybe it was. He'd been thinking about her like that more and more lately, wanting to get close to her, but he hadn't been drunk enough to imagine that woman was someone else... Or had his id just surfaced as his desires and instincts took over? If he wanted Corinthia on a base level, then... "Shit," was the only word he could manage. He wasn't ready to like her, or anyone. He'd never even really guessed that he'd end up with anyone at all. Liking her meant that he — He wasn't going to think about what it meant, because he knew damn well it would be the end of him if he gave in. Emotions were for the weak.

He cracked his knuckles, unable to dismiss his feelings so easily. He should've known that his and Corinthia's relationship couldn't stay just friends forever. She may have latched onto him immediately, but it had taken him years to warm up to her. Things had gone too far. Though still guarded, she'd somehow managed to weasel her way through his armor. She barely knew any more about him than others, but the real miracle lay in the fact that she understood him. Maybe his protectiveness of her didn't stem in the fact that he needed her alive to fight, as it had towards the beginning of their friendship.

Sure, Ci-Ci may have slowly become pretty in his eyes — no, wait, she had always been, but the scars had thrown him off, but then he'd started to like them, and now he didn't know what to think. She was his best friend. Hell, she was almost like his sister. People didn't get images of themselves kissing their siblings, but the only thing Shepard could really focus on was how it felt to have her lips brush against his cheek. Affectionate as she was, that was a new level.

What if she liked him? He had never bothered looking for the signals, since he hadn't been interested. As much as he tried to remember, he couldn't think of any moment when she'd shown any flirtiness, let alone hinting that she saw him as more than a friend, except for what had happened an hour earlier.

Regardless of what she thought, he'd probably ruined his chances with her by having alley sex with someone whose name he didn't even know. There was no way Corinthia hadn't noticed his absence (he'd seen her frown at him, but bite her tongue and swallow some cruel remark). Even her forgiveness had its limits. He wasn't even sure she'd ever really forgiven him for Torfan, or even for not asking what was wrong when something clearly was. Granted, he didn't want to hear her bitch about her day, but he vented about the stupidity in his unit so often that he just assumed that he was speaking for the both of them.

_I'm a fucking bastard, that's what I am_, he thought, pounding the back of his head against the wall. He'd been treating her like shit, but she still lit up with that smile of hers whenever she saw him. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve _her_. Ever. She needed someone that would care for her...

That required an emotional depth that he simply lacked and didn't want to have. He'd never really liked a woman on more than a sexual level. He'd never wanted to; it meant commitment, time, and sacrifice. He wasn't willing to do any of that shit, except maybe for Corinthia, once he thought about it. It had taken him five years to tell her bits and pieces of his past, which for him was one of the ultimate sign of trust and respect next to an apology, and she knew more about him than anyone else in the galaxy. Hell, she even knew that he'd been abandoned on a playground somewhere in Montreal. She didn't know what it had done to him emotionally (not that he really did, either), but he knew for damn certain that she still understood him perfectly.

Corinthia was his only real emotional link. He didn't need to do much with feelings, but (current breakdown or not) even he had to admit that he felt better after telling Corinthia that something bothered him. Then again, it was usually her that was aggravating him. Still, the fact that she could annoy him and it didn't necessarily make him want to shoot something was progress. Now, all he could do was try desperately to force down the part of him that wanted her physically. The fact was that if he acknowledged his feelings for her, he would be obligated to act on them. He wasn't the sort to just let her be near him and not have her. That didn't mean that he wouldn't make sure that she cared for him in return first, but he wouldn't hesitate.

But no matter what he thought, there was still only one conclusion: he couldn't like her. He wouldn't like her. He didn't want to, so that was the end of it. Emotions were dangerous, weak, and against his personal code. Though he knew that he'd never be able to deny being attached to her — after all, she was his best and only true friend — he wouldn't allow himself to push the boundaries any further. The idea of being... shackled to anyone was more than revolting. He was already kicking himself for even considering it — or, more specifically, her. She'd never been kissed, never experienced romance, never anything. He wasn't even sure what kind of men she liked... If she liked him. That Justicar had forced Corinthia to admit to liking him, but that was eight years ago. Though still immature, she'd changed, grown up, become a woman... mostly. Even if he ever decided to like her, he would still have to deal with the fact that it might not be reciprocated.

Almost an hour of his internal conflict passed before he felt Corinthia slide into place next to him. He stiffened. Even if he had seen her, he didn't think that he could actually look at her right then. Of all the times that she could seek him out, it had to be when he was in a bad spot about her. Still, she wasn't touching him, like she usually did, which could only mean that she knew about what had just happened and was trying desperately to grin and bear it.

"You alright, Shep?" she asked after a long moment.

"Not now, Cassie," he breathed hoarsely.

"Is this about the party? Look, I'm sorry I dragged you here tonight. I thought you'd enjoy a big hoopla instead of just hanging out with me for once. You and Miss Whatserface seemed to be having some laughs. And did I say anything? No, but she came back and you didn't. I was worried..." She toyed with her fingers. "You are having fun, aren't you?"

He shut his eyes. "No, I'm not, but it's not that..."

She gently touched his arm. If she didn't know any better, she was pretty sure that he was about to cry. She'd seen him after some of the most emotionally-draining events in either of their lives, but whatever had happened in the last couple hours was clearly worse than the Blitz, Akuze, and Torfan combined, cubed, and integrated to infinity. "What's wrong, then?"

He jerked away. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, alright... Is it my fault?"

"Yes," he answered, barely audible.

She bit her lip and withdrew. "Oh... Well... I'm sorry. For whatever it is. Just let me know if I do it again, alright? This is your night. I want you to be happy and enjoy yourself, you know? I mean, I can be... uptight and sorta... well, you know what I mean. It's not my business what and who you do, but I wasn't going to say anything, anyway. It's not like — "

"Cassie, just shut up. Now."

She opened her mouth to protest, but closed it quickly. Finally, she just hugged him, more tightly than she ever had. He sat there for a long moment, blinking uncertainly as he tried to figure out what she was trying to tell him, before he roughly pushed her away. She landed hard, mouth hanging open in shock. He may have been forceful with her before, but he'd never hurt her intentionally. This wasn't an instance of the latter, but it was the closest he'd ever gotten.

Shepard started forward, his expression betraying genuine concern for a few heartbeats before returning to its stony mask. He slumped against the wall. "You don't know what you're doing," he rasped, desperately trying to swallow his emotions. "Please... Just leave me alone."

Her brow furrowed in hurt and confusion. After a long moment of sitting there, palms stinging from skidding on the asphalt, she got to her feet and went back inside. Less than a minute later, she came out again, pulling on her jacket.

"I'm sorry I fucked up your night," she whispered as she passed, sucking in a deep breath. Within seconds, she was going to be sobbing. "It won't happen again."

Shepard wanted to stop her, but he didn't. He couldn't. She wasn't going to get to him now, or ever, but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't dismiss the ideas running rampant through his mind. Maybe it was because he'd been drinking, but he wasn't drunk or even tipsy! Why was he even thinking about it? The woman — whatever her name was — hadn't cared that he'd called her something else during the act (since she had seemed to encourage him all the more). His groin was telling him to find her or some other whore and just fuck out his romantic fantasy of having Corinthia, but another deeper part of him was telling him to wait for the woman he really wanted.

"Fuck this," he muttered, running his hands over his face. He wasn't about to ruin their friendship because he'd started to like her as more than a friend. He was a tough guy (as she had put it); he could handle it. Besides, it would probably pass, like it always did with him and women. He couldn't even remember the names of any of his past flings (not that he'd bothered to get them), just like their faces morphed and warped into an unfocused, blank visage. Of all the things that he could've been considered nightmares, this was one of them. The sheer emptiness of everything... He'd never seen it because he hadn't wanted to. It took all of his effort to force down the tiny kernel inside of him crying out for him to have someone that actually _meant_ something to him, who could be a reason to live, fight, whatever. Maybe the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach was true and unadulterated guilt.

In all the years he'd known her, he'd never actually apologized to her. He'd never had to because he'd never had reason and because she'd always been able to forgive him, regardless of if he felt remorse (which he hadn't). Honestly, he still wasn't sure why she kept overlooking his faults and just smiled, hugged him, and didn't ask any questions... like she'd just done, and he'd pushed her away.

It was the first step to recovery.

Alenko came out. "Hey, Commander, you seen Ci-Ci? She looked pretty shaken..."

"She's gone home," Shepard growled.

Alenko raised an eyebrow. "You don't look too good yourself."

"None of your goddamn business." Shepard released a slow breath. "How bad was she?"

"She looked about ready to cry, if you ask me. Did you talk to her?"

"Not exactly."

Alenko had Shepard had worked together a few times before, but Alenko had never seen Shepard look anywhere near vulnerable. Right then, then man actually looked human.

Shepard got to his feet, clutching his temples as a headache roared in. "Did she say where she was going?"

"She said 'home'. She also downed at least three shots, and I've never seen her drink before..."

"Bourbon?"

"How'd you know?"

"Great," Shepard groaned, running a hand over his head. "She gets tipsy off of just one."

"She drive here?"

"No." Shepard pushed past Alenko to get inside. He came out seconds later, pulling on his jacket. "This party died about an hour ago."

"Huh. I didn't notice." Alenko shrugged. "Want me to make up some kind of excuse, sir?"

"Do whatever you want. I'll see you around, Alenko." Shepard walked off without another word.

The night was pleasant, thankfully enough, with air just chilly enough to be refreshing without necessarily needing a coat. The lights twinkled across the harbor, illuminating the area with the eerie orange glow of old lamps. Shepard could hear the drunken laughter of men in bars, watching football (or what used to be football until krogan began to play) and comparing stories or simply attempting to find companionship for the night, as Shepard would do on occasion. Then again, he was almost positive that that night was the last time in a very, very long time that he was going to have a woman. Even though he'd decided not to let Corinthia get to him, he also knew that another one-night-stand was only going to make matters worse.

Corinthia wasn't too far ahead of him. Her hands were thrust in her pockets, in all likelihood clasping her pistol, and her gait practically screamed dejection. From the way her shoulders were quivering, she was probably crying, too.

"Cassie..."

She stopped and turned to face him, her tear-reddened eyes betraying her happiness at seeing him even though her lips were pressed into a tight line.

"Ruined my night or not," he continued, "I'm not letting you walk home alone."

She snorted. "As if I can't take care of myself. Ooh, that's shiny..."

"Not to mention that you're drunk," he added darkly.

She giggled. "So you noticed. I am kinda dizzy..."

He shook his head. "Babysitting you what not exactly how I imagined this night would end..."

"But didn't you already get laid?"

His expression hardened. "Did you have to bring that up?"

"That's what she said."

He put his hands on her shoulders. "Seriously, Cassie, why did you say that?"

She shrugged. "I dunno... Because it is what you wanted, wasn't it? You always get frustrated with me because you can't go home with the women you want when we're out because I'm your little sister or something like that. I mean, you've never tried to pass me off as your girlfriend and all that, but I —"

He covered her mouth with his hand. "I'm not doing that ever again. I'd rather get you home safe than have to spend another second with that whore."

"Ert ookd layk oo aykd oor," she said, muffled by his hand.

"What was that?"

She rolled her eyes and tugged his wrist so that she could speak. "It looked like you liked her."

"Drop it, Cassie. I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, come on! I wanna know!"

"Ask me again and I might show you."

"You'd — What? Oh, dear..."

"I was joking."

Much to Shepard's pleasure, she blushed deeply. Her hands shook as she tucked her hair behind her ear, showing off her scars in a rare moment without self-consciousness. "Can I ask you something?"

"I'd rather not while we're in the open," he replied, grabbing her elbow and dragging her back to her quarters. She fidgeted next to him, clearly attempting to hold back her question. "Alright," he muttered. "Ask me."

"Why didn't you ever try anything on me?"

His heart raced, "What are you talking about?"

"I mean, you don't really have many guy friends, and then there's me... I know I'm all innocent and all that, but sometimes you're looking at the shy ones..."

"You don't want to ask me this."

"But I asked, didn't I?"

He tightened his grip on her arm. "Think about it. Think really hard."

"...Because you don't like me like that?"

"Exactly."

She shrugged apathetically. "Good, because I don't, either."

He blinked. "What?"

"I don't like me like that, either."

"But do you like me like that?"

"Uhm, sometimes. I used to, but now I dunno anymore. You've been all mean and stuff and I don't like that. It hurts, ya know? I may only show my actual feelings as often as you do, but I've still got them. And I don't like the way you're mean to everyone, either. You can be a big bully sometimes, you know?"

Shepard gritted his teeth. They'd been in plenty of arguments, but she'd never come out and insulted him like that. "Maybe it's because there's no one worth the time and effort to be nice to," he growled. "So don't start insulting me, because I've been working my ass off to treat you right ever since Torfan and if all you can do is throw it in my face, then fuck you, Ci-Ci."

She paled and obsequiously shook her head. "I'm sorry, Shep. I didn't mean it, really! It's just that I'm all... woozy and..." She gestured vaguely in an attempt to indicate that she was completely out of it. "Ooh, that was slow... Am I drunk?"

"Very."

"Awesome... What was I saying?"

"Lots of things you'd regret in the morning."

* * *

><p><strong>12 April 2183 — Corinthia's quarters, Norfolk<strong>

Corinthia woke with a pounding headache and a very vague recollection of leaving the bar, but nothing else much after it (although she was pretty sure that she was in her quarters). Instinctively, she curled up into a tiny ball in an attempt to fall back asleep, but her head would have none of it and after a few moments she willed herself to stand.

"Never again," she muttered, rubbing her temples.

Her home on Earth wasn't much. In all honesty, she'd never bothered to move her stuff out of her apartment on the Citadel from her time studying there to Arcturus or wherever she was stationed. Despite barely having anything, nothing was put away and her bedroom was nothing short of a pit. The only reason the living room had been picked up at all was because Shepard came over often enough that she wanted to make a nice space for him.

After finding a sweatshirt and sandals, she shuffled out of her bedroom towards the kitchen. "Baaaccccoooonnnn..."

She stopped when she saw Shepard sprawled shirtless on her sofa. Like any soldier, he had muscles and, like any girl, she had to look. "Damn..." she breathed, eyes wide.

He moaned groggily, rolled over onto his back, and sat up. "What time is it?"

"I dunno. Didn't look."

Shepard rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and started looking around for his shirt. "Was that you or a zombie that was talking about bacon?"

"Me. Uh... Did you get me home?"

"Obviously."

"And put me in pajamas? Or whatever these are... Are these even mine?"

"I couldn't exactly tell what things on your floor were clean and what weren't."

"...But you did change my clothes."

"You were trying to get out of them, anyway. Not like I haven't seen you half-naked before."

"WHAT?"

"Calm down, Ci-Ci," Shepard muttered, pulling his shirt over his head. "It's not like I've snapped at you for staring."

"Have not!"

He got to his feet. "You don't have to be embarrassed. I didn't see anything other than your back, and even then I've seen more when we get out of our armor after missions."

She was still blushing furiously. "And I was thinking of making you breakfast."

"You'd damn well better. I got your drunken ass home in one piece." He hesitated. "Speaking of which, how much do you remember?"

"Uh..." She screwed up her face in thought. "Up until leaving the bar, but after that's it's all pretty fuzzy... Oh my God, I blacked out? I've never been like that before! I didn't do anything stupid, did I?"

"Other than attempting to chase down shiny things, no, you didn't," he lied. Honestly, he was relieved that she didn't remember their conversation or saying what she really thought of him. It didn't meant that he didn't want an apology for it.

"You're lying," she murmured.

"And you know this how?"

"It's... I can't explain it. You just sounded different, that's all. We've been at each other's throats lately and then you'd walk me home and be all gentleman like... Urgh. I don't know what's wrong with me."

He didn't want to tell her the truth, because she'd freak, but she needed to know how the conversation actually ended. He pulled her down to sit on the sofa next to him. "There's nothing wrong with you," he began. "It's the fact that we're too different."

"Tell me about it," she muttered.

"You called me a big mean bully last night."

She winced. "That's much kinder than my usual insult for you."

"But you're always joking when you tell me that. You were being serious this time. And... you're right."

She blinked. "I'm... what?"

Shepard ignored her. "It's not easy for me to be... nice and gentle and everything that you are. There aren't exactly many people that I think are worth treating like that, so even me complimenting you is... forced. Damn it, that's not the right word. I mean what I say, but I wouldn't ever have said anything if you didn't... ask. I'm doing my best, Ci-Ci, but making me... good is going to take a lot of time and a lot of effort."

She pursed her lips. "I mean... Do you even _want_ to be like that?"

He didn't answer. Honestly, he couldn't. She had this way of making him change, regardless of what he wanted. Sometimes it bothered him, others it didn't, but until he found another friend, he was pretty damn sure that staying with her in any capacity was going to mean changing himself on a base level.

She sighed and shook her head. "So, were we talking about you being nice just to me or to everyone else?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, but... Oh, whatever. We already know that our friendship isn't over if we get snippy over something. Still... I actually got to you?"

"It is possible."

"Damn... I'm better than I thought." She did a happy dance and stood up. "Now, bacon."


	6. The Normandy

**_A/N 30 March 2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing! Check out his story **The Butcher**!_

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><p>

**1 May 2183— Norfolk, Virginia, Earth Sol System**

Flight Lieutenant Jeff "Joker" Moreau couldn't wait to meet his new baby, the _SSV Normandy SR-1 _(Systems Alliance Space Vehicle _Normandy_, Stealth Reconnaissance 1). He fidgeted in the shuttle to the dockyard, partially because he was excited and partially because all his commanding officers were in the shuttle with him. Of course, Joker was lucky: he was sitting next to Corinthia, who was one of the only women in the Alliance Navy to look (and act) somewhat normal. Yeah, Corinthia had a nasty set of scars running across her face, but her smile was nothing short of brilliant and she had one hell of good figure. The scars weren't even a problem, really, since she kept her short brown hair well out of regulation by having it sweep down over the marks and concealing almost half of her face. Joker didn't understand how she could see clearly... but she looked good.

Captain Anderson coughed. "Commander Corinthia, would you please be in proper uniform when we exit this shuttle?"

"Yessir." She tucked her hair behind one ear, giving Joker and everyone else a good look at the pink, branching, river-like gashes. "Just didn't want to intimidate the crew."

Shepard snorted. With him aboard, Corinthia's scars were going to look nothing short of cute and cuddly.

"Couldn't you at least wear make-up, Commander?" Joker asked. Maybe it was improper, but he didn't care: She would've been downright sexy with some smoky eye makeup.

"Doesn't work." She winked at Shepard.

Joker swallowed. Like most everyone who went through the Academy, he'd heard of Shepard. The man was a legend: the Blitz, Akuze, Torfan... He was unstoppable. People said that he would let a planet be destroyed if it would help him accomplish his mission. Looking at Shepard, Joker believed it. The man had seen things, been though things, that no one else could ever know or understand. Part of Joker just wanted to gape in awe at how… _awesome_ Shepard was.

Despite his tough-guy reputation, Shepard was smirking like a teenager at an inside joke as he rolled his eyes at Corinthia. He'd had a month to get his head into gear and he'd succeeded in getting over her enough that they could banter like they used to. "Stop flaunting it, Ci-Ci."

She stuck her tongue out at him. Anderson coughed. "Will you two behave? Ci-Ci, you are acting like a child and you, Shepard, should know better than to encourage her." Anderson already knew that Corinthia was going to be acting insubordinate if provoked, but he hadn't expected it from Shepard. Then again, the man couldn't be cold and ruthless constantly. Besides, Corinthia always made a good balance for Shepard. They were both intense, in their own ways, and could bolster morale where it needed to be. Her fellow soldiers liked and respected her; they feared Shepard.

Then again, they hadn't seen Corinthia when she got a grenade launcher. With enough ammo, she would destroy a world.

Corinthia grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, sir. Won't happen again."

Shepard groaned. She'd gotten into far too much trouble chasing sparkling things and being aboard a military ship wasn't going to stop that. Even so, sometimes her complete inability to concentrate paid off. She was an excellent multi-tasker and could continue to do so during a battle, ambush, or general chaos. She had before and, with the help of her "magic" omni-tool, she had saved Shepard's life more times than he could count. He didn't understand how she could make her omni-tool do anything, but she did and did it in record speeds. She had only gotten better in the last few years. As Nihlus had suspected, she was the one responsible for hacking the mechs so that they danced to "U Can't Touch This" whenever certain people passed — a certain one of them being Shepard. He hadn't gotten into trouble since it was one, hilarious; two, very well done; and three, not his fault and everyone knew it was hers. Not like they'd say anything, though; she was too likable to get into trouble like that, and anyone looking to take her down had to go through Shepard first. NO ONE was willing to do that.

Anderson sighed. "Ci-Ci, we're going by the book for this run. A Spectre is joining us on the mission."

Corinthia met Shepard's eyes. Of course, he wasn't surprised; he'd guessed as much when he'd seen Nihlus. Few Spectres made their identities public, but Nihlus was one of the best and almost every spec-ops program used a few of the turian's missions as case studies. Next to Saren Arterius, Nihlus was probably the best Spectre in the galaxy.

But Shepard would be better.

Corinthia giggled. "Ooh, which one?" Corinthia was weird and thought that aliens could be attractive. Then again, she thought baby thresher maws were adorable, too.

"Nihlus Kryik," Anderson answered. Corinthia grinned. "You know him?"

"I know _of_ him. He's only the most decorated Spectre next to Saren. He's a legend and —"

"Ci-Ci," Shepard said warningly.

"Yeah?"

"No."

She tried to rein in her grin, managing to stop looking completely ecstatic and instead simply smug.

"A turian? On my baby?" Joker gasped. Though certainly not as xenophobic as many humans, he didn't trust turians, especially since they'd been in constant conflict with humanity and could "never keep their claws out of other people's business".

Anderson looked at the pilot like he hadn't been there before. "Your baby?"

"Sorry, sir. It's what I call my ship," Joker quickly excused.

"Xenophobic?" Shepard asked.

"No, no, just wondering what he's doing on a shakedown," Joker grumbled.

"That's classified," Anderson snapped.

"Yeesh, just trying to have a conversation," Joker muttered defensively.

Corinthia pressed her nose to the window. "Whoa… Is that the _Normandy_?"

Shepard looked outside. Sitting on the dock was a massive space ship unlike any other he'd seen. It was loosely shaped like a diving falcon, with a narrow fore and a large aft, where the four thrusters rested like wings. Sleek, shining, and steely, it looked like it could cut through the sky like a knife. Shepard found himself smirking. THAT was a ship ought to look like.

Joker strained in his seat. "I can't see! Can you move, ma'am?"

"Call me Ci-Ci," Corinthia answered, shifting.

Joker leaned over her, laughing and smiling when he saw the _Normandy_. "I think I'm in love…"

"I hope you're talking about the ship because fraternization is against regulations, though I don't know if it applies to inanimate objects…" Corinthia mused.

Shepard smirked. Anderson actually laughed. Corinthia grinned: She was getting to them, sooner than anticipated. Soon they'd all be in her clutches...

The shuttle stopped just beside the _Normandy_. Anderson unbuckled his safety harness. "Well, we're here. You're to fall out behind me as we brief the crew."

Anderson climbed out, Shepard behind him. Corinthia stood up and stretched while Joker fumbled around for his crutches. She raised an eyebrow. "Uhm, do you need some help?"

Joker sighed. He was always ready to tell someone about his "impediment", but it was usually to excuse himself or prove that he was just as good as them. He hated being coddled and Corinthia had sounded downright pitying. "No, I don't. I've got Vrolick Syndrome."

Vrolick Syndrome was a degenerative disease which left bones extremely fragile. He only had a mild case which left his bones susceptible to fractures, but he could hobble around without crutches if he absolutely had to. So, he spent the majority of the time at the helm—even sleeping there, when he could. He'd call himself a cripple as a joke, but hardly tolerated others calling him that.

"No wonder why you're the best damn pilot the Alliance has."

Joker blinked. "What?"

"Well, when the body's weak one place, it strengthens another. It makes sense, to me at least. Then again, things that make sense to me don't to anyone else. Don't worry about it." She stopped before she clapped him on the shoulder. "And I can't be affectionately physical with you… Aww… Not that I should be, anyway."

"Hey, I'll deal with the pain," Joker grinned. Corinthia jestingly poked his arm, barely even touching him. "That doesn't count!" Joker protested.

"Hey, I'm not flirting. Just saying."

Joker smirked. "That's what you say, but you and I both really know—"

"You're not my type."

It wasn't that Joker wasn't cute, because he was with curly copper colored hair and beard, brown eyes, and an okay build (he didn't look weak or sickly at all); it was that Corinthia thought that Shepard was the standard of hotness, manliness, and awesomeness, no matter how much of an asshole he could be. Joker didn't quite make the cut.

"That's what they always say," Joker answered. "But before long—"

Corinthia hushed him as they stepped onto the docks. The crew saluted stiffly, barely hiding their nerves. Many were casting subtle glances towards Nihlus, who stood talking with Captain Anderson and Shepard. Nihlus, like all turians, was tall and looked a little bit like a bird-raptor-human-thing (to Corinthia, at least). His facial tattoos, designating his home colony, were white and patterned very nearly like a skull. He wore dark grey body armor that glowed blue at the joints. If only to prove his bad-assery, he only carried a pistol and he looked just as intimidating as Shepard did.

Therefore, Corinthia thought Nihlus was adorable.

"Ah, this must be Commander Corinthia," Nihlus said, his deep voice flanging like those of all turians.

Corinthia nodded. "Sir. It's nice to meet you," she greeted in the turian tongue.

"Impressive, Commander," Nihlus chuckled. "Not many humans bother to learn our language, considering the aptitude of translators."

"Honestly, that's about all I know. Well, that and saying, 'I don't speak turian'." Corinthia smiled. "And, please, call me Ci-Ci. It'll just get too confusing with Shep here being a commander, too, you know."

Nihlus gave Anderson a questioning look. Anderson shrugged. "We all call her that."

Nihlus nodded. That fact hadn't been in his extremely thorough dossier on her past, personality, and mission style. As a matter of fact, he hadn't expected someone with her service record and history to be so… happy.

Anderson turned to the crew. They all saluted. "At ease," Anderson ordered. The soldiers relaxed. Shepard, Joker, and Corinthia stood behind Anderson, feeling weird to be on this side of things. Shepard was the XO and Joker was the pilot, but they had never stood behind their captain before. Corinthia was stationed as the gunnery chief (she'd already joked that she was really the funnery chief, letting Shepard know that this was going to be a long mission) and also the second mate (meaning that she'd become XO if Anderson died, abdicated, or became unfit for command). She and Shepard had been the ones to give speeches before, both thinking that the other was better at it.

Today, Corinthia and Shepard weren't listening. Although Shepard had been debriefed with Anderson, Corinthia had, naturally, found out through her own channels what was going on. Shepard didn't understand why she'd commit felonies for the sake of staying in the loop, but she did. It had been useful on many occasions, but for once she hadn't been able to find out more than he'd been told. She hadn't even known about Nihlus, but Shepard could tell that she'd already come to a conclusion or three as to why the Spectre was there.

As soon as Anderson was done, the crew obediently filed aboard. Corinthia took her place at the helm, to Joker's left, along with Lieutenant Alenko. He smiled at her in a friendly manner, watching as Shepard passed.

"You two make up?" Alenko asked softly.

"Ages ago," she answered casually. "I'm already planning a re-do of the party that won't go wrong."

"Where's the party?" Joker asked, taking his place.

"Right here," Corinthia replied, pointing to herself and doing some kind of macho dance.

"Ci-Ci!" Shepard snapped.

"Eesh, he's got eyes in the back of his head," she muttered. _What's up with him today?_ _Oh, wait. Nevermind_. With a Spectre aboard, Shepard wanted to make a good impression. He rarely spoke about his dreams or goals, but being a Spectre was one of the few that he'd mentioned.

Corinthia shifted in her chair until she was comfortable. It was like sitting in pool chair, but with an orange holo screen in front of her giving her command of all the weapons systems. Shepard leaned over her shoulder, murmuring, "Don't get carried away, Ci-Ci. You know what'll happen if you destroy a planet."

"You'll spank me?"

Shepard snickered. "Just don't blow up the galaxy."

She winked. "I'll try, but I can't promise you anything."

Joker was near tears as he bonded with the _Normandy_. It was like he was able to run, jump, _move_ like everyone else. The _Normandy _was special. It was jointly engineered by turians and humans to have the best of both species' ship designs. Joker had flown a couple simulators to see how it maneuvered, but those were like a club compared to the diamond tipped scalpel that the _Normandy_ really was. He hadn't even taken her off the ground, but he could tell that he'd found the right vessel for his soul—well, it sounded stupid and corny, but it was the only way he could describe what it felt like to finally be able to move like he always wished he could.

Anderson took his place at the back of the command deck, standing before the Galaxy Map. He pointed to a star cluster. The cross-hair selected it, zooming in several times until Eden Prime appeared with a full technical readout. "Joker, take us out."

"Yes, sir," Joker said eagerly.

Corinthia gripped her seat, her eyes clenched shut. "I hate flying, I hate flying…"

"Hey, relax, you're in good hands. I'm not about to let my baby get hurt on her first day out."

Corinthia laughed and stretched casually. "Jest messing with you, Joker. Don't you know that one of my hobbies is edge of space sky diving?"

"Well, whatever gets you going," Joker shrugged.

"Don't listen to her; she's afraid of heights," Shepard murmured. "Can't drop more than six feet without dangling from the wall."

Corinthia leaned back. She loved being able to see where she was going, especially in space. To watch as the sky turned from light blue, to dark, to fire as they broke through the atmosphere, to the calm star-studded black was thrilling and, strangely, comforting. Somehow being a small speck in an enormous universe made her feel better.

"Space, the final frontier…" she started dramatically.

"Could you be any more of a nerd, Ci-Ci?" Joker asked.

"These are the adventures of the _SSV Normandy_…"

"You're getting it wrong."

"Who's the nerd now?"

"Shut up."

Nihlus stood directly behind her, watching the _Normandy_'s progress. Joker maneuvered the ship flawlessly through the Sol System, even though the hair on the back of his neck was rising at the proximity of the turian.

"Commander Corinthia, they tell me that you're quite an accomplished pilot yourself," Nihlus murmured.

Joker gritted his teeth audibly, but continued with protocol.

Corinthia shrugged. "I can fly most anything and not crash it when I land, if that's what you mean." She wasn't being modest. She could look at something and figure it out, which meant that she could fly anything if she had to. She wasn't amazing, but she could've passed flight school. Joker, though, was a prodigy and Corinthia was a baby in a walker compared to him.

"Your list of skills was impressive," Nihlus continued. "I had difficulty believing that one person had them all."

"Are you interviewing me?"

"Would that change your answer?"

"It would determine how I answer, yeah."

"So what is your answer?" Nihlus asked after a moment.

"I just know how things work. That's really the best way I can explain it."

"What about your service record?"

"Half dumb luck and half having a good team." She gave Shepard a cursory glance (although he took it as a cue to leave). "You should've noticed that I've never worked alone."

"You did during the Skyllian Blitz."

"Until Shepard showed up, yeah, but it isn't the same. I can work alone, but I don't usually unless I'm just puttering or something like that."

"What of your latest mission on Arcturus?"

"Training snot-nosed brats how to use an omni-tool isn't a mission; it's babysitting. Besides, it's not like any of them could do what I do," she replied casually, legitimately not boasting.

Nihlus narrowed his black eyes. "Do you even take your job seriously?"

Corinthia's smile vanished. She suddenly looked like the woman Nihlus had imagined from her dossier: intelligent, shrewd, and strong with just a hint of dangerous. "This isn't a job; it's a life. I'm serving and protecting the galaxy, doesn't matter what species you are. I don't always like what I have to do to get the job done, but I won't let that stop me. I joined up thinking it would give me a chance to interact with humans for once and because it wasn't school. I should've had nobler reasons, but I didn't. I just wanted to escape. Thing is, the second I thought I was going to, batarians showed up on Elysium and murdered my father along with half the colony. I'm not going to let that happen to anyone else ever again. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other things to do." She turned back to her duties.

Nihlus smiled. She would do very well indeed.

The _Normandy_ approached the Charon Relay. Like all mass relays, it looked like a tuning fork, in Corinthia's opinion. The swirling blue mass of element zero reached out to pull the _Normandy _through to jump to the next relay. Her favorite part was the kick, when the ship hyper-accelerated beyond the speed of light, the element zero allowing it to avoid the mass effect and NOT compress into the size of an atom as they blurred towards their destination. Or, at least, that was how she thought it worked. Physics wasn't her thing.

Suddenly, the world was real again. Another relay's element zero core released them into the Utopia System.

"Ignition, check. Thrust, check. Everything looks solid. Drift, just under fifteen hundred K," Joker announced proudly. His baby had just made a perfect test run. He had gotten them to a target less than half an hour away from their final destination.

Damn was he good.

"Fifteen hundred is good. Your captain will be pleased," Nihlus said. He nodded to Corinthia before stalking towards the comm room behind the Galaxy Map. The interior of the _Normandy_ was dark and grey, like most military vessels tended to be. The walls were lined with computer stations for the crew to man, each operating a different system. Towards the back, the deck widened into a circular room. At the center was a holo projector which would either show the Galaxy Map or a readout of the _Normandy's_ status. The majority of the officers would stay there, looking at the various screens around it to monitor the ship and its surroundings. To each side of the door to the comm room were stairs leading down to the crew deck, where the sleeping pods, mess, and captain's cabin were located. Shepard, now in his armor, returned just as Nihlus passed. The turian nodded to him in greeting before entering the comm room.

Shepard took Nihlus's place behind Joker and Corinthia. She turned and grinned at the Commander before going back to her duties.

"I hate that guy," Joker muttered.

"Nihlus gave you a compliment, so you hate him?" Alenko asked.

Joker snorted. "You remember to zip up your jumpsuit after going to the bathroom? That's good. I just hit a target the size of a pinhead—"

"You _are_ a pinhead," Corinthia snickered. Shepard checked the time. It had taken a record half hour to go from being completely serious to in fits of giggles. Until then, her record had been five minutes.

Joker rolled his eyes. "Ha ha, very funny. You're the paragon of humor."

"Get used to it, Joker," Shepard warned. "It's not about to stop."

Corinthia grinned evilly. "That's what she said."

Shepard rolled his eyes while Joker and Alenko laughed.

"Seriously, though, loosen up a little, Joker," Corinthia continued cheerfully.

Joker decided not to listen. "I don't trust Nihlus because he's a Spectre. It's got nothing to do with him being a turian. Mostly."

Corinthia hit him upside the head, as gently as she could. "Lay off it, Joker. If you haven't noticed, he's treating us like anyone else, so we owe him at least some respect. Besides, the turians helped design your baby here."

Joker rubbed the back of his head. "You didn't have to hit me, did you? You could've fractured my skull."

"I would kiss it and make it better, but we already had that discussion, didn't we?"

Shepard had forced his feelings for Corinthia down so far that he couldn't even react jealously on an unconscious level. In fact, he found her teasing amusing.

"And here I thought you liked me. Isn't that what girls hitting boys means?"

Shepard shook his head. "Ignore her. Frankly, Joker, I agree with you that something else is going on." He gave Corinthia a significant look. Shepard and Nihlus had spoken briefly while the crew was preparing the _Normandy_ to leave Earth. Shepard had found the turian surprisingly agreeable, especially because they had quite a lot in common.

"Oh, did Nihlus interrogate you, too?" she asked eagerly. "Did he ask you what your favorite killing move was? Or what—"

Shepard put a hand over her mouth to silence her before she got carried away. "He asked me the same questions he asked you."

She dragged his hand down. "Wait, you heard that? I thought you went to the other side of the ship…"

He smiled. "Who's the queen of obliviousness?"

Corinthia looked around, confused. "What? Who?" She winked. "Okay, okay, sorry. I'm just… Paranoid? Is that the right word right now?"

"Joker's being paranoid," Shepard observed.

"No, I'm not!" Joker answered defensively. "I just don't like people breathing down my neck."

Shepard stopped Corinthia before she did just that to Joker. She pouted and slid back down into her chair. "Spoil sport," she muttered.

Admittedly, Corinthia was being a bit more immature than normal. Then again, that was her usual way of breaking the ice amongst a new crew on a new ship. It was her defense mechanism and natural reaction to discomfort and self-consciousness.

"What was that?" Joker asked.

"Nothing. Shepard's just an evil old man, that's all."

"Old man?" Shepard repeated. "That's a new one..."

Corinthia turned her nose up haughtily. "You're older than me so you're an old man."

"If that's the case, then you're just a kid."

"No, I'm an adult."

"Only if an eight-year old is a senior citizen."

"Hey!"

"Joker, send Shepard and Corinthia report to the comm room immediately," Anderson buzzed.

"Watch out, Captain, I think Nihlus is headed your way," Joker warned.

"He's already here," Anderson answered irately.

Joker winced. "He sounds pissed."

"He is pissed," Corinthia said, clambering out of her chair. "Probably your fault, too."

"What did I do?"

"How'm I supposed to know?" she answered innocently.

"Wait… were you joking?"

"Joker, if I'm smiling, I'm probably not being serious."

"And she's always smiling," Alenko added.

"Welcome to my life," Shepard muttered darkly, moving to walk beside her. "Are you anywhere near as suspicious as I am?" he murmured.

"Are we talking continuous paranoid conspiracist paranoid?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm as paranoid as you." She waved hello to Navigator Pressley and Dr. Chakwas as they walked by. "But I think I figured out what this is about."

"Which is?"

She took out her omni-tool and started searching for something. "Nihlus is recruiting Spectres."

"And we're on the list?"

"We are the list."

Shepard's eyes glittered greedily. "What have I told you about doing that?" he growled sternly.

Corinthia snorted. "As if you didn't want to know for yourself."

"I have something called patience."

"Only sometimes. Besides, like I'm walking into a clear set-up blind. We've done that too many times."

"Does the word 'felony' mean anything to you?"

"No, not really. I think I've heard it in passing... Oh, come _on_ Shepard. You and I both know that the Alliance doesn't have the least idea what I'm actually capable of and what I've got my fingers in. Uh, wait, forget I said that."

He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "And just how am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know! You aren't my boyfriend, so you aren't supposed to remember what I tell you, right? Besides, it wasn't like I was doing anything serious. It wasn't a challenge. At all, which makes me wonder how good the rest of the Council's security is."

"You could just admit that you're a hacker."

"But that would make me a bad person."

"You're a corrupting influence," Shepard chided, not that he minded. Corinthia had made his life better, despite everything. She gave him an excuse to relax a little and be himself, not just a soldier. He just wished he'd realized it sooner.

Corinthia snorted. "I still haven't gotten you to listen to my music, watch my movies, wear a leather jacket and ride a motorcycle to Colorado…"

"You just want to see me in a leather jacket, don't you?"

Her eyes widened. "Yeah, with tattoos, World War II aviators, and an electric guitar… No, a bass. Wait, drums… No, bass. Yeah, a bass. Bassists are always the hottest…" Her eyes glazed over as she drifted off into her imagination.

"Ci-Ci."

"Hm?"

"You're getting distracted. Again. Shall we go and talk to Captain Anderson or do you just want to wait out here and drool all over the floor as you imagine me being a rock star?"

Corinthia blushed crimson. Shepard had never, ever hinted that he knew she thought him attractive. Did he also know that she really, really, really, really, really liked him? Maybe even loved him?

"I think I'll go in with you," she said quickly. "Nothing like a good briefing to get us back into gear, right?"

They entered the comm room. Nihlus was there already, looking at pictures of Eden Prime. "Ah, I was hoping you'd arrive. I wanted to speak with you both before the Captain arrived."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "What about?"

Corinthia opened her omni-tool and started changing the pictures on the monitor to show other parts of Eden Prime. "What's this?" she asked, spotting an archeological dig site. "That looks Prothean…"

The Protheans were an ancient civilization of aliens who had been mysteriously annihilated thirty thousand years before. The remnants of their technology enabled every species in the galaxy to become space-faring. No one knew what they looked like or what killed them, but every civilization in the galaxy owed them something, if not everything.

Nihlus stepped between her and the screen. "How did you get this footage?"

Corinthia grinned. "Does it matter?"

Nihlus chuckled. "They said you were resourceful."

"You have no idea," Shepard muttered.

Anderson came in. "Shepard, Corinthia, I think it's about time you knew the real purpose for this mission."

Shepard grabbed Corinthia's hand before she used her omni-tool to find out. "Yes, sir?" Shepard said, glaring at Corinthia. She grinned sheepishly and saluted Captain Anderson.

Anderson raised his eyebrows. "I take it Corinthia has already figured it out."

"Sorry, sir," she apologized, blushing slightly.

"What is that human phrase?" Nihlus mused. "'Curiosity killed the cat?'"

"But my name isn't Catherine."

Shepard rolled his eyes. Only Corinthia would think of that kind of an answer.

"I don't understand," Nihlus answered.

"Ignore her," Shepard suggested. "I don't understand more than half of what she says, anyway."

Nihlus shook his head. "Are you sure humanity is ready for this?" he asked Anderson pointedly.

"Maybe not for Ci-Ci," Anderson answered, "but we should tell them."

"Sir?" Shepard asked, heart racing. He was hoping, maybe even praying, that Corinthia was right and that they were recruiting Spectres.

Corinthia's omni-tool started beeping violently. She cursed loudly and fidgeted with it. "Damned thing, going off at the worst ti—Whoa, that's not good…"

"Will you kindly pay attention?" Anderson demanded, becoming angry. Corinthia was a sweet girl, but sometimes he just wanted to strangle her. "You and Shepard have been put forward to become Spectres."

Corinthia silenced the beeping with a push of a button. "Sorry, sir. It was alerting me that—well, sorry."

"You don't seem surprised," Nihlus observed. Shepard's eyes had flashed eagerly, but his serious expression hadn't changed. Corinthia hadn't even seemed to notice. "No human has ever had this honor."

"Who put my name put forward?" Shepard asked. He already knew damn well why he was being submitted, but he wanted to know which politician to not punch, if he got the chance.

"I did," Nihlus answered calmly. "Captain and Councilor Udina agreed."

Shepard nodded, glad to hear that there was finally a turian who could appreciate a human's skills for what they were.

Corinthia laughed. "Seriously, sir? Me? You already know which one of us is the best." She gestured to Shepard. "I can't do a thing when I'm on my own."

"That remains to be seen," Nihlus said, amused. Her omni-tool was still on and working on its own. "From what I've seen, you seem quite capable of hacking your way into any system and through an army. Aren't you responsible for the mech… malfunctions the Alliance has been experiencing?"

Corinthia blushed. "Oh, well, that was just a bit of fun. It isn't me going out on my own and chasing down bad guys. I'm not some kind of hero."

"You already are a hero," Anderson corrected.

"What's our mission?" Shepard asked before Corinthia got them too far off topic, as she was more than like to do.

"A research team has unearthed a Prothean artifact," Nihlus answered. "Our mission is to recover it."

"This is just the first in a series of missions. Nihlus will accompany you observe you in action," Anderson continued. He looked pointedly at Corinthia. "You both represent the best the Alliance Navy has to offer. I suggest that you act like it."

Corinthia's omni-tool started beeping again. She held up a finger to silence Anderson and turned her attention to the interface. Shepard rolled his eyes. Only Corinthia would ignore a superior officer because she was in the middle of doing some very, very illegal hacking.

Her omni-tool expanded to show a small screen. Shepard could see the back half of the image: a blurred picture of the horizon of Eden Prime. A man ran into view, holding an assault rifle. A female soldier came over and ordered, "Get down," before she shot at… something.

Corinthia's smile vanished. Her mind flashed back to the Skyllian Blitz and the slaughter that occurred there. She shuddered and swallowed her emotions. She needed to be a soldier, now, not herself. "Sir, you need to see this."

Before Anderson could answer yes or no, Corinthia had waved a hand and the video began to play on the large screen. They watched in horror as the geth—a race of AI robots—killed anyone in sight. A soldier grabbed the camera. "We're under attack. Repeat, we're under attack! ARGH! –eed evac. Repeat: Need—" A geth loomed over the camera and the feed shut off.

Corinthia blinked. The geth were quarian-created AIs that never ventured beyond the Perseus veil. They were modeled to look like quarians (the species that designed them), with bowed legs, two-toed/duck-like feet, three fingers (including a thumb), and a curving helmet head with a single optical eye that looked like a camera lens. The geth here were white with black tubing curving at their joints. They kept to themselves and their only real act of war was to take Rannoch from the quarians, leaving the species to wander the galaxy like gypsies.

"That was a geth," she murmured. "What the hell are they doing out here?"

"Is there more?" Anderson asked Corinthia.

She pressed a few buttons on her omni-tool. "No, just that."

"Rewind and hold at twenty-three forty-four."

Corinthia did. A massive ship appeared out of the clouds, glowing mechanical tentacles reaching down like a monstrous squid. Corinthia shuddered. She wasn't easily intimidated (except by Shepard) and that… thing just gave her the creeps. It wasn't moving like a normal vessel. It looked _alive_.

"Oh my God, is that a ship?" Corinthia asked, knowing the answer. "And what the hell were the geth doing outside the Perseus Veil?"

Nihlus crossed his arms. "This isn't good. They probably came for the beacon."

"Why wouldn't the Collectors do that?" Corinthia asked. The Collectors were a race of strange beings who would every so often come out of the Terminus Systems (star systems outside of Citadel Space) to barter information and technology for research "supplies"—plants, mechanical things, and sometimes even people. "That seems like their sort of thing, but then again, they've never been this violent, have they?"

"You know about the Collectors?" Nihlus asked. They were hardly common knowledge, except to those in the information business or underworld criminals, and most believed them to be nothing but legend.

Corinthia shrugged. "I've met them before. Didn't like them one bit. It was like I was looking at puppet bugs or something like that. Well, uhm, never mind. What are you orders, Captain?"

"You and Shepard suit up. Tell Alenko and Jenkins to as well," Anderson answered. "You'll be making first contact."

Shepard nodded and left with Corinthia.

"Sir," Joker buzzed over the intercom. "We've got a distress signal coming in."

"Corinthia's already intercepted it," Anderson answered. "How far away are we from Eden Prime?"

"About fifteen minutes, sir."

"Then get us there." Anderson sighed. "This mission just got a lot more complicated."

Nihlus watched the doors close behind Shepard and Corinthia. "I don't see why you were worried. They both seem capable."

"They are both capable, but they both have their faults. She's a genius, but it's hard to predict what she'll do. Shepard isn't easy to read, but he gets the job done no matter what the cost." Anderson shook his head. "The Council only wants one of them, correct?"

"For the moment, yes."

"Then you should be watching Shepard. I think he's what you're looking for."

"You do understand that he will no longer answer to the Alliance once he becomes a Spectre, even though he will still be a member of your army?"

"Naturally, though he may not know it. And don't worry: I'm not saving the best for myself. Corinthia is good, but… Well, she's not a soldier at heart. I'm not sure what she is."

"I should prepare," Nihlus mused, effectively finishing the conversation. "Captain."

"Nihlus," Anderson answered. The turian left. Anderson sat and rubbed his eyes. Why was it whenever Shepard and Corinthia got put together that something horrible happened to humanity? If their luck didn't change, their species would be doomed.

Then again, Shepard and Corinthia did have a way of surprising everyone.


	7. Eden Prime

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><p>

**1 May 2183—Cargo Hold, _SSV Normandy SR-1_, Eden Prime, Utopia System, Exodus Cluster**

Shepard pulled on his gloves and checked the seals of the rest of his armor. Next to him, Corinthia did the same. She looked completely serious, for once.

"You alright, kid?" he murmured.

"Fine," she answered shortly. "Just... concentrating."

"About damn time, if you ask me."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm perfectly capable and you know it. It's just... I don't know. This doesn't feel right. I've got a bad feeling and... How do I even explain it?"

"It's just another mission."

"No, it isn't. That's what's bugging me."

He put a hand on her shoulder. "Doesn't matter what you think it is, because it's just another mission. Think about it like that and nothing's going to go wrong."

"I wish I could believe you."

"So there is a way to make you stop being perky..."

"Huh?"

"Nothing," he answered quickly, reaching for his helmet. After a moment of hesitation, he leaned over to whisper, "You're one hell of a soldier, Ci-Ci. You can take whatever gets thrown at you. We've been in worse situations before. One colony under attack isn't the end of the galaxy. It's just like the Blitz, except that we've got the upper hand and big guns."

She smiled wanly. "Yeah, I guess you're right... Thanks, Shep." She patted his arm and put on her helmet.

Jenkins snickered. Alenko, nudged him. "Watch it. The Commander doesn't like people talking about him and Ci-Ci."

Jenkins raised his eyebrows. "It's kinda obvious."

"Trust me, there isn't anything there. If there was... Well, you probably wouldn't want to think of the consequences."

Shepard wasn't known for being the kindest to his teams, and that was without Torfan for a reputation. On more than one occasion, Corinthia had to sit down with a private as he/she cried their eyes out at something Shepard had snapped. Admittedly, he _had _gotten a _little_ better recently, but only because, for some strange reason, he was actually trying to be nice for Corinthia's sake — more than usual, at least. She'd seen someone bump into him and, instead of snapping at the soldier, Shepard had just stepped aside and said nothing.

Shepard locked his helmet into place. His heart was racing. This was his chance to show that he was the best humanity had to offer, get away from the damned Alliance and do missions how he wanted. Frankly, he wasn't even sure why Corinthia was being considered. She'd ridden his coattails starting at Elysium. She was capable, certainly, but she wasn't Shepard.

Anderson approached. "Shepard, your mission is to secure the beacon."

"What about survivors?" Alenko asked.

"They're secondary," Anderson said, hardly betraying his actual feelings on the matter. "This beacon could be the greatest archaeological find of this century. Secure it at all costs."

"Sir," Shepard replied, saluting.

Nihlus entered the hold, readying his shotgun.

"You're coming with us, Nihlus?" Jenkins asked, the awe apparent in his voice.

"I move faster on my own," Nihlus replied, "but today Commander Corinthia is joining me."

Corinthia swallowed as Shepard clenched a fist. "Yessir," she replied, sounding all business.

Shepard glared at her. "Don't f— Mess this up," he muttered, barely swallowing his addition of _for me_.

"I got this, Shep," she answered, winking.

"That doesn't reassure me."

Nihlus leapt out of the _Normandy_. Corinthia gaped. "Seriously? You expect me to jump?"

"CORINTHIA!" Anderson snapped.

"Alright, alright! I get it!" She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and dropped out of the _Normandy_ with a terrified squeak.

Anderson shook his head. He may have nominated Corinthia, but sometimes her quirks were completely unprofessional. Being afraid of heights? He didn't understand, especially because she was known to take bullets without flinching. Then again, he couldn't remember the last time she'd done anything that made sense.

_"If being a Spectre means jumping from moving ships, count me out,_" she radioed Shepard. _"You can have it all._"

Shepard repressed a smirk. He would be more than happy to take it, even if she would probably pout about it for a few weeks. "Mind telling me how you made it through boot camp?" he answered, stepping to the edge of the hatch. Eden Prime rushed by below, the bright yellow-green of the landscape marred by blackened, fiery-edged spots where the geth had burned the place.

He dropped to the ground, Alenko and Jenkins just behind him.

Jenkins tightened his grip on his rifle. Eden Prime was his home. Or, had been. There wasn't much of anything left. Every building was burning.

"_Initial scans show no survivors,_" Corinthia radioed. "_Well, at least in the direct vicinity. Either way, it's not looking good._"

Shepard drew his assault rifle. "Not like we're looking for any."

"_Shepard!"_

"Just stay focused," he answered. "Get that beacon."

"_Aye aye, Shep_."

Shepard closed the connection. Alenko shifted uneasily. "What do you think happened here, Commander?"

Shepard opened his mouth to reply, but then he saw the ship looming on the horizon. "Not a fucking clue," he breathed. Even the _Destiny Ascension, _the flagship of the Citadel fleet, wasn't that big, and that carried two armies inside of it. Whatever that thing was, Shepard wanted one... but he wanted it the hell out of his way. He didn't like an enemy he didn't know he could take down, and that monstrosity was NOT something he'd be able to destroy easily.

"You see that thing, Ci-Ci?"

_"Yep_."

"Know what the fuck it is?"

_"No idea. Can't get close enough for a scan, either. Something's throwing off my readings for the entire area. I can't see anything on my omni-tool at all. Be careful: we aren't going to know what's around the corners._"

"It's more fun that way," Shepard answered. "It's all about the surprise."

"_That's what she said._"

"Aren't you even going to pretend to try and act like you're Spectre material?"

"_And pretend to be something I'm not? Yeah, sure. Like that'd work out. I'd be — Catch ya later, Shep."_ She cut transmission abruptly.

Jenkins repressed a snort of laughter. "She always like that?"

"Pretty much," Alenko replied. "Except we're usually here to see what shiny thing distracted her."

Shepard's brow furrowed. There had been some sort of garbled, mechanical noise, followed by an inhuman groaning, interrupting her. "Keep moving," Shepard snapped. "Kill anything that moves."

"Sir?" Jenkins asked, shocked.

"With discretion," Shepard added, more out of necessity than because he actually thought it necessary. It wasn't like Shepard was so ruthless that he'd shoot a civilian in the back (even _he_ had limits), but he had his priorities.

Eden Prime looked exactly like Elysium during the Skyllian Blitz: buildings obliterated, nature smoking, debris falling, and bodies everywhere. The air smelled of burning flesh, wood, plastic, and rubber.

Shepard smirked: this was his kind of party.

* * *

><p><p>

Corinthia ducked behind a cargo crate. "Mind telling me why _everything_ that's moving is attacking us?" she hissed to Nihlus.

"Is this a problem?" the turian answered calmly.

"No, I'm used to it, but, seriously, it gets kinda old." She didn't flinch as geth shot several shots inches from her helmet. " 'Ooh, they're Alliance. Let's shoot them. Oh, wait, I didn't see she had a gun. I didn't see that she was a she. Let's try and seduce her and see what happens.'" She snorted, turning and resting her sniper rifle over the top of the crate and deftly hitting the two attacking geth in the optics. "Yeah, right."

Nihlus raised the turian equivalent of an eyebrow. Though she talked almost incessantly, she knew what she was doing. Anderson had been right to nominate her. She was clean and efficient, though it remained to be seen if she could make the tough decisions that would eventually face every Spectre. For a moment, Nihlus thought about forcing her into a situation where she would have to make that kind of choice, but with a Prothean beacon at stake, there wasn't the time. They'd already passed the dig site, found that the beacon had been moved, and now were headed to the docks in hopes that the Prothean artifact would be there instead.

Corinthia holstered her weapon. "Oh, they're dead? That was easy..." She hopped over the crate to examine the geth. Her omni-tool was already on, screens and panels extending, opening, and closing of their own volition.

"No nononononononono!" she squeaked, sprinting to its side. "Don't wipe your memory, you useless piece of antiquated artificial idiocy!" She kicked the head in frustration, muttering something to the effect of, "can't actually kill hive-minded mechanical bastards" and slouched back to Nihlus.

"Any luck?" he asked, suppressing a smirk.

"Not really. The rest of the geth just absorbed its data. We should get moving. They could download that beacon before we even get to it..." She shrugged and flicked her fingers through her omni-tool's interface. "But what the hell do they want with it? They're... nevermind. Let's move."

Nihlus nodded, certainly more impressed with her now than he had been before. Still, it left him to wonder: if she was this good, how good was Shepard if every person who knew him said that he was ten times better than Corinthia?

* * *

><p>Whenever he was on a mission where he wasn't jumping directing into a gunfight, but still knew that one was coming, Shepard could feel his pulse. The world moved in time with his breathing. Nothing existed outside himself except the rasp of his armor as he moved, the smell of charred flesh and smoke, and his blood rising. This was battle as it was meant to be: him versus everyone else.<p>

Well, as it was, Shepard and Alenko versus everyone else. From the way Jenkins was weaving without a direct line into cover, he was going to get killed before he had a chance to fight. It was a rookie mistake that Corinthia made almost constantly, but her shields regenerated quickly and was very, very good at being in the line of fire without being hit, not to mention that she was an expert shot and hadn't been in this kind of fire-fight since Torfan.

Sure enough, they rounded a corner and several drones zoomed into view. Jenkins ran ahead, reaching for his gun, but he was down with a gurgle and yell before he'd gone five feet.

"Shit," Shepard muttered, calmly getting into cover.

Alenko raised his eyebrows. Though used to Shepard treating death casually, even that was cold for the Commander. There wasn't time to dwell on it, though, because there was a fight to be had.

Shepard carefully took aim and put a singularity right next to the drones. In less than a minute, he and Alenko had picked them off.

Alenko glanced at Shepard. "He never saw it coming."

"Death happens," Shepard muttered. "You should get used to it."

"How can you say that?" Alenko demanded. "What would Ci-Ci say?"

Shepard clenched a fist. "That's her business, not mine." He stalked off. "Jenkins made a mistake. He paid for it. We don't have time to collect the bodies of the dead, let alone take their names. Grab his tags and let's keep moving, unless you want to play target with those fliers."

"I — No, sir," Alenko answered mutinously. He put his finger to his ear. "You hear that, Ci-Ci?" No response. "Ci-Ci? Are you there?"

Shepard stopped. "Telling on me, Staff Lieutenant?"

"She's not answering, Shepard."

"Ci-Ci!" Shepard snapped. "What's your status?"

"_My status is that you're shouting in my ear,_" she answered. _"What's going on? Tell Alenko I was busy killing things."_

"Nothing. We just lost Jenkins and met some fliers."

"_Well, that's — WHAT? He's dead? And you're just... just..."_

"Do you want to have this argument now or where you can hit me?"

"_The latter, definitely_."

"Then shut up and let me do my job."

_"Have you seen the bodies?_"

"Haven't been any to find."

_"You'll see them. Then maybe you won't be so casual about it. Ci-Ci out._"

Shepard should've known that talking to her would just put them in another argument. They'd been having more and more lately. She still hadn't won, but she was getting close. Hell, he might let her win once to humor her. Then again, she'd never let him live it down and expect to win constantly... That'd be bad. Really bad. Everyone would start talking, then she'd start guessing, and then he'd have to decide if he should corner her in a stairway and kiss her or treat her as coldly as he had Jenkins. Neither option was viable, so new tactics were in order.

As they moved up a hill, Shepard heard gunfire, which meant that there was a fight and hopefully a survivor that knew how to use a firearm. Alenko dispatched two more fliers, Shepard another three, before they came over the crest to see a woman in white and hot pink armor — which made Shepard cringe at the idea of it, but also identified her as the female soldier saving the camera man in the video Ci-Ci recovered from Eden Prime — running from two fliers. Shepard took them out with deft blasts of his assault rifle.

She straightened and tugged her helmet, sucking in air like she'd been choking. he had brown hair, brown eyes, and an aquiline nose. She would've been pretty with a bit of eye shadow and a non-military hairstyle. "Thank you, sir. I thought those bastards had me for sure."

Shepard took his finger off the trigger, but didn't lower his weapon. "Name and rank, soldier."

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams," she answered, saluting. "My squad—"

"I didn't ask you for details, Chief," Shepard hissed. "Are your shields back?"

"Yes, sir."

"Is your gun functional?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you know where the beacon is?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then fall in and take me to it now and we might take your ass off this rock now instead of making you wait for evac," he growled.

Williams shuddered. "What's up his ass?" she muttered to Alenko.

"Couldn't say. Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko."

"Pleasure, I'm sure," Williams answered lowly, looking Shepard up and down. "He's... Wait, is that Commander Shepard?"

"Yeah, it is."

"And I thought he looked good in the vids..."

"Not that his charming personality matches. Interested, Chief?"

"He's an asshole."

"One that can hear you," Shepard called, although not nearly as irately as he could have. "Ci-Ci, I'm approaching the dig site. Where are you?"

She opened her comm for a second before closing it, but he could hear the sounds of the geth mixed with her calm sniper's breathing. She was in a fight. His stomach lurched: He wanted to fight with her. Before the idea could take root, he forced it down. He knew where it came from and he wanted nothing to do with it. But why the _fuck _was it surfacing right then?

* * *

><p>As if the geth weren't enough, there were more creepy-crawlies for Corinthia to find. Now well past the dig-site, she and Nihlus were approaching the docks when they heard the most ungodly moaning.<p>

"What the hell?" Corinthia breathed.

Black figures slouched up over the horizon, their eyes and bodies glowing blue. From the way they moved, Corinthia thought that she'd walked into a zombie vid. She just hoped that they wouldn't eat her brains or gnaw on her dismembered corpse. Nihlus started shooting. The creatures kept coming, despite having limbs blown off and their blue, slime-like blood oozing everywhere.

Corinthia shivered, unable to believe that she'd found real zombies. "Aim for the head," she suggested, drawing her shotgun. "It's about the only way to kill something like that."

Nihlus did, quickly dispatching five of the creatures. They fell like rag dolls. Corinthia blew off a couple of their heads and then started scanning the bodies. "This is… creepy."

"We shouldn't be stopping."

"I like to know what I'm going up against," she answered calmly. Her omni-tool whirred as it worked overtime. "This isn't good. They used to be human, but now they're organic machines, if that makes any sense. Synthetics, I guess. Like they're just… husks of what they were." She narrowed her eyes. "The technology is geth-like, but still more advanced. There's something really weird about it. It's like it's been adapted to work with humans, but it wasn't meant to."

"You can tell all of that?" Nihlus murmured. "Impressive."

Corinthia smiled. "Thanks, but you're right: We should keep moving." She straightened and scanned the horizon. "The artifact is about a click north of here. There are geth all around it, and what looks like another turian. Don't ask how I know that, it'll just get complicated," she added, even though Nihlus wasn't going to say anything.

"Can you see who?"

"It would take me too long to find out, but something isn't right. They aren't attacking him or anything."

Nihlus had ample experience in the field and knew that intuition was a powerful ally. Ever since they'd hit the ground, Corinthia had acted professional and exactly like the soldier her record indicated: on task and highly adaptive with unbeatable senses. "Keep up your guard."

"You don't have to tell me twice."

"_We're at the dig site,_" Shepard radioed.

"Yeah, we've been there already. Didn't find anything. Rendezvous at the docks," Corinthia answered.

"_Why?_"

"Because that's where I am? What do you think? Because it's where the geth are swarming!"

Nihlus looked at her curiously. "Do you two always interact like that?"

"Yep, pretty much." She put away her shotgun in favor of her pistol.

"Doesn't your Alliance have regulations against it?"

She shook her head. "There's nothing against regulations in what we're doing. He's my friend. You're allowed to have friends, aren't you?"

"I don't speak to them like _that_."

"Well, I'm weird. Everyone knows it, too." She ducked into cover as a turian passed them. For a moment, she thought it was Saren Arterius, but there were tubes plugged into the back of his head and one of his arms was geth.

"Stay here," Nihlus ordered.

She nodded, having absolutely no issue staying behind. If it was Saren, he had a reputation of being anti-human and would not take well to another human Spectre candidate (the first being Anderson). If it wasn't, then Nihlus could take care of it.

Nihlus approached the other turian, pistol drawn. If the turian military had business here, the Council needed to hear about it. Besides, the interloper didn't look right, like he'd been... altered. Whoever it was —

"Saren?" Nihlus asked, relaxing.

"Nihlus," the Spectre answered, his eyes glowing oddly. Few turians had blue eyes, but Saren's didn't look right... didn't look natural.

"What are you doing here?"

"The Council thought you needed help on this one," Saren answered, putting his hand on Nihlus's shoulder.

Corinthia could see what was coming, but she couldn't move or say anything. Something about Saren, not to mention that ship looming over her, sent chills of paralysis up her spine. It was less that she was frightened and more that she didn't know what to do.

"Shep? Are you there?" she whispered, chancing a glance towards Nihlus and Saren. She squeaked as Saren put his pistol to Nihlus's head and pulled the trigger. She shut her eyes tightly, but the image was still burned into her mind. Murder... She'd seen similar things before, although they hadn't had time to really sink in or had been in context (Torfan, for example), but this?

"Shepard! Joh_ — Shepard_? Are you there? Answer me, please!"

"_Calm down_!" Shepard replied. "_What is it_?"

Saren looked up and directly at her. "Uh-oh," she breathed.

The turian advanced on her, his finger still on the trigger.

She backed away, swallowing hard. "I suggest you find me. I'm about to get my ass handed to me."

"Kill her," Saren ordered.

She sprinted off, hearing the garbled, metallic, vibrating sounds of the geth as they followed.

"_What the hell's going on?_" Shepard answered irately. "_Is that gunfire? What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?"_

"Yeah, I've got geth on my ass and —" She grunted as she was hit in the shoulder. "Just get over here, John. Now. Please..."

The transmission went dead. Shepard tried to restart the connection. "Ci-Ci! Ci-Ci! Cassie! Answer me, damn it!"

Alenko raised an eyebrow. "What do we do now, sir?"

Shepard didn't hesitate. "We find her, that's what."

Corinthia was praying that Shepard was nearby. She had at least twenty geth chasing her and didn't have the time or cover to try and hack them. She made a mental note to add voice-command to her omni-tool and darted through the cargo docks. Every time she turned a corner, she ran into more geth. Her omni-tool kept telling her to turn around and head towards the artifact. With no other options, she took the suggested route.

The cargo docks weren't intended to be maze-like, but with all the crates of supplies and archaeological artifacts, it felt like a labyrinth. The only cleared dock was at the bottom of a series of ramps. The place was meant for larger ships, like the _Normandy_, to come and pick up cargo. It was the absolute worst place to make a stand, with no cover and lower than the rest of the area, but it was the only place she had left. She hated being cornered, but she knew that Shepard would come. He always did. He had to. If he didn't... She couldn't think of that. He was going to come and save her, she'd kiss him or something, and everything would be right.

She slid down the ramps and onto the dock, using the time to hack the geth and alter their targeting systems. Unfortunately, they adapted quickly, self-corrected, and continued to fire at her. Corinthia would have thought them cool if they weren't trying to kill her.

She slid behind the only cover she could find: the artifact. The Prothean beacon was a simple, silver tower with a protrusion for a green holo interface and a transmitter rod. Corinthia didn't have time to think. Her shields were failing and she could only scramble so many geth targeting interfaces at a time. If they were after the artifact, they would get it unless Shepard fought his way to her, and even then she was quickly losing hope that he'd come galloping in. Shepard was good, but not good enough to fight an army and a Spectre (assuming that Saren wasn't there to help; after all, he had killed Nihlus).

Then again, she couldn't always wait for him to come and save her. Unfortunately, she didn't have any other way out alive, at least that she could see. But, if she was going to die, she had to do something about the beacon. Corinthia gritted her teeth as shots whizzed by her head, hacked ten of the geth around her, and ordered them to shoot their peers. That would give her the time she needed to start scanning and downloading everything on the Prothean beacon, even if it meant sacrificing her targeting scrambler, shields, radio, and ability to do anything else with her omni-tool.

She'd never interacted with anything Prothean before, but she'd figure something out. Her omni-tool came to life and she pressed it against the cool metal side. Something flashed across her mind and she snapped her touch back, heart racing. Whatever she'd seen was terrible... She didn't know how to begin to describe it. Luckily, her omni-tool had used the brief connection and had started downloading whatever information was on the beacon.

Saren appeared on the upper causeway. His silver skin glistened in the light and his light blue eyes glittered dangerously. "So, you must be Cassiopeia Corinthia," he crooned, advancing. "I hear you're quite the shot with a rifle. Care to test your luck?"

Corinthia checked her omni-tool. She had only recovered 10% of the data. "Shepard, where the hell are you?" she breathed.

Saren reached the bottom of the ramp. He didn't like how the girl wasn't fighting back. It uneased him. Saren had heard stories about her before, although he had no idea why Nihlus had stooped to work with her. She was supposed to be a spitfire, but instead she was huddling behind the beacon. Saren smirked. "My, my, aren't you a smart girl."

She checked her omni-tool: 15%. "Why did you murder Nihlus?"

"Irrelevant. Are you ready to die?" Saren raised his pistol, took careful aim, and shot. He hit his target: her head. She slumped over, blood beginning to flow out of her helmet and onto the ground. Oddly, her omni-tool was still functioning. It was probably sending a tracking signal, which meant that the Alliance would be here soon.

So long as he got away, it didn't matter what the Alliance found. He would have time to gain what he needed. Saren stepped forward and activated the beacon.

* * *

><p>Shepard was used to death. It had never really bothered him, even when he was a kid with the Reds. Then again, he'd never been close enough to anyone to feel a loss at their death.<p>

When Corinthia's radio went dead, a chill ran up his spine and his stomach filled with ice. Shepard had felt fear before, but never like this and _never_ for a person. He knew why, but there wasn't time to fight it.

He had to get to her.

Alenko holstered his pistol, gazing at Nihlus's body. "He didn't even see it coming."

"Is this your turian?" Williams asked.

"Yes." Shepard cracked his knuckles. He hadn't been fazed enough into showing his nervous tick since he enlisted. "Alenko, inform the _Normandy_ of Nihlus's death and location of his body. Jenkins's, too. Williams, come with me."

Alenko nodded and stepped a little away from Shepard.

"Where are we going now, sir?" Williams inquired nervously. Shepard made her feel uneasy. He was gruff, no-nonsense, intimidating, and downright frightening. His eyes blazed like hellfire when he fought and his biotics were better than any Williams had ever seen. He looked at everyone like he was deciding if he was going to kill them or not, yet he had dropped almost everything to go after Ci-Ci, whoever she was. Williams didn't understand. Something didn't fit.

"Ci-Ci's by the artifact," Shepard answered. "I need you as cover."

Williams gulped. Though she knew that he meant that she was to cover him, she got the impression that he didn't care if she was a human shield or back-up, so long as he got to Ci-Ci and the Artifact. "Yes, sir."

Alenko came up. "Joker's on his way, though he says that the geth are crawling all over the docks."

"Any sign of Ci-Ci?" Shepard demanded.

"None that the _Normandy_ can pick up. Her sensors aren't designed for something that specific."

Shepard gritted his teeth. "Alenko, scan for her. Williams, you have your orders. Move out."

Alenko and Williams fell into step behind Shepard and did as they were told. Though both felt they could do more (and that their task was near pointless, since Corinthia was probably dead and Shepard could easily fight through the geth alone), neither dared test the Commander. He had already knocked out a scientist simply because his ramblings had been annoying; who knew what Shepard would do when questioned?

After a brief skirmish with the geth (Shepard pulled them all into one area with a well-placed singularity field and turned his back to walk away, letting Alenko and Williams dispatch them), they boarded a cargo shuttle to the rest of the docks. Alenko checked his omni-tool. "Still no sign of her, Commander. Do you think she has her cloaking device on?"

That hadn't occurred to Shepard. The cold feeling in his stomach receded slightly. "Maybe," he answered, a little more harshly than he intended. She _had_ given him the ability to see past her cloaking device, but had failed to tell him how to use it. Either way, he wasn't pleased.

Shepard opened his omni-tool and examined the map. Corinthia had uploaded the artifact's coordinates during her hasty request for aid. It pulsed oddly on his radar, like it had a heartbeat.

Shepard groaned, unable to believe how stupid he'd been. "Damn it, Ci-Ci…"

"Sir?" Williams asked, hoping that Shepard wasn't about to get any angrier.

"She's next to the beacon," Shepard answered. "It's the only explanation."

Alenko examined his map. "I can't tell, but it's worth a shot… Are your omni-tools linked?"

Shepard didn't know. Honestly, it wouldn't have surprised him if Corinthia had done something like that for one of her more nefarious plots, but (as usual, when it came to her) he had no idea how to find out. "I'll ask her later. Let's just kick these geths' asses and get the artifact."

Williams relaxed a little. Shepard seemed less likely to kill anything that moved now that he knew exactly where Corinthia was. Williams was extremely wrong, though: Shepard did kill anything that moved (luckily, only geth were moving). He had good reason, though. The geth had set charges to destroy the docks and the beacon, which meant that Corinthia would die if he didn't do something about it. Williams disarmed each bomb while Shepard and Alenko put on quite the display of biotics by throwing geth into walls, slicing them in half on the railings, and causing them to implode in singularity fields. Shepard finished everything off by using his biotics to charge an enemy and take it down using brute force.

Finally, everything went silent. Williams could hear her own heart beating and the blood rushing in her ears as the adrenaline kick diminished. She was calming, finally, and was able to see what had happened to her home: utter annihilation. Nothing was left undamaged. The horizon was black with smoke. People came out of their hiding places as Saren's massive ship (the squid-like one) pulled away from a tower and rose into the clouds, through the atmosphere, and out into space. Shepard raised an eyebrow. The ship was so large that it appeared to be moving slowly, though it was in fact moving faster than the speed of sound. A chill ran up his spine, which only made him more determined to take it down, one day.

They reached the dock with the artifact. There were geth bodies strewn all over, as if they'd been fighting themselves. Shepard's heart raced: That was Corinthia's handiwork. She was close.

Alenko kicked one of the geth's heads angrily. "What happened here?"

Williams shrugged. "Beats me. Commander?"

"Radio the _Normandy_ and tell them that we have the arti…" He trailed off. His gaze was fixed on the pool of blood at its base and the bright yellow and green glove resting in it. "Ci-Ci…"

He dropped his gun and sprinted forward, unable to see or think of anything else but Corinthia. When he was mere feet from her body, the beacon lit up. It pulled him away from her and into the air. He cursed and struggled, only to have the force pull his limbs apart like he was being crucified. The beacon assaulted his mind with images of an apocalypse: organic machines destroying planets, strange aliens being incinerated in the blasts, the galaxy turning dark as the stars themselves stopped shining… It was too intense for him to handle. His mind shut down and his vision went black.

Williams and Alenko watched in horror as the beacon exploded, throwing Shepard's body twenty feet away. Alenko hailed Joker while Williams ran to Shepard.

"He's alive," she said, relieved. So far, she didn't like Shepard much, but Williams wasn't ready to see anyone else die. She spotted Corinthia's body behind what was left of the beacon. Her omni-tool was still on and flashing oddly. It went out after a few seconds.

"Joker, Shepard is down. The beacon is destroyed. We're at rendezvous point alpha," Alenko said.

"Gotcha," Joker answered. "Where's Ci-Ci?"

Alenko watched as Williams went to Corinthia. "We have her body, but if she's alive, you'd better hurry: there's a lot of blood here."

"Whoa… She got shot in the head…" Williams put her fingers under Corinthia's helmet and pried it off. Blood and shrapnel fragments poured out of it. Corinthia's temple was barely intact and she was pale, but if the wound was bleeding, her heart was beating. "She's alive," Williams called. "Tell them to get here quickly. I don't think she's got long."

"_She's too stubborn to die_," Joker said. "_At least that's what I've heard_."

"You can tell her that yourself and see what happens," Alenko replied, "but I don't envy you when you get her answer."

"_I take it she survived, then_."

"After getting shot in the head, yes, so get your ass over here, stat."

"_Yessir. ETA two minutes. Joker out._"

Williams applied some medi-gel to Corinthia. "Stay with me, kid. You're gonna be alright."


	8. Recovery

**_A/N 30 March 2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing!_

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><p>

**2 May 2183—Med Bay, _SSV Normandy SR-1_, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula**

Shepard came to in the med bay, his head throbbing and his mind little more than a jumbled panic of thoughts.

Dr. Chakwas came into focus over him. "Glad to see you awake, Commander."

"Where's Ci-Ci?" tumbled out of his mouth before he had control of it.

"She's here. She'll be alright, though I'm not sure she'll be waking any time soon. She suffered quite a bit of head trauma, but right now it's you I'm worried about."

Shepard shook his head, instantly regretting it, and sat up with a groan. "I'm fine, Doc." He glanced around, looking for Corinthia.

She was on the table next to him, head bandaged and IVs sticking into her arms. Her skin was pale and she looked... His heart clenched and he swallowed hard. "She doesn't look good."

"She lost quite a bit of blood, but, like I said, she'll be fine. You can tell her that you saved her life later."

Anderson came in. Shepard rubbed his eyes. "A debriefing already, sir?"

"If you're up for it, Commander."

"I still don't know what the hell happened down there."

"You can start by telling me how Jenkins got killed, why one of my best soldiers was shot in the head and the other knocked unconscious, and why we lost that beacon back there."

Shepard ran his hand over his head. "Jenkins was killed because he ignored the rules of engagement. Corinthia saw Saren murder Nihlus, so Saren shot her. I got too close to the beacon and it turned on. After that... I don't know, but it's one fu — damned nightmare, sir."

"That isn't going to be good enough for the brass, Shepard, and you know it."

"I wasn't finished. I saw something... It made Torfan and Akuze and the Blitz look like child's play. I think..." He shook his head. It sounded so stupid, when he thought about it, but it was the only explanation he could think of. "I think it was about the destruction of the Protheans."

"And what about Saren? He's a Spectre. I wouldn't put it past him to shoot any human in the back, but another turian? It doesn't make any sense."

"Tell me about it," Shepard muttered, slowly getting to his feet. "And that damned beacon did something to my head. I can't close my eyes without seeing that."

"That bad, huh?"

"I've seen some messed up stuff in my life, sir, so if I say it's a nightmare, that's what it is." Shepard clenched his fists. "I was watching genocide. I get all kinds of shit over Torfan, but I've got my limits."

"I believe you, Shepard, but we've got to make the Council agree. This mission was a failure on all fronts and you know it. It wasn't your fault, either; we weren't expecting an army, let alone a rogue Spectre, but we need proof that Saren is to blame."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Shepard muttered. "Can I have a minute?"

"Of course. Take all the time you need, Commander. I want you in top shape for when we get to the Citadel."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Why would I need to be ready for that?"

"Because you're going to be the one debriefing the Council, along with Alenko, Williams, and Ci-Ci, if she wakes up."

Shepard had been trying not to think about her, but the moment Anderson said something, his eyes locked onto her still body. Anderson's brow furrowed. If he was right in thinking, Shepard actually looked worried about her... or was it something more? The Captain murmured to Dr. Chakwas that they should speak outside.

Shepard touched Corinthia's hand. It was strange, not seeing her react. Her expressions were more than hilarious and one of the reasons he liked her as much as he did. To be able to touch her was... strange. Normally she either cringed or practically leapt into his arms — the latter more often than the former. She cared for him deeply, more than she was capable of voicing, and he knew without a doubt that he felt more for her than he did for any other living creature in the galaxy. Hell, maybe even more than himself. If he'd been there to take that bullet... Not that it would've happened that way. A quick biotic barrier, her sniper rifle, and they would've been fine. She would've been conscious, making some bad joke about what had happened.

But she wasn't alright; she was comatose, pale, and unresponsive. It contradicted everything about her, to the point that Shepard just wanted to grab her shoulders, shake her, and yell at her to wake up.

Everything he'd been repressing since that night at the bar was flooding back — all those emotions he believed himself incapable of feeling. His grip tightened on her hand. If she could just wake up, he'd feel... He didn't know what. He wanted her alive, conscious, and in his arms.

He'd almost _lost_ her. It was a deceptively simple idea, but it was the worst one ever to cross his mind. They were in mortal danger almost every day, but they always came out alive and relatively unscathed. Even Akuze didn't count because they'd come out of it with little more than a few scrapes and burns. Getting shot in the temple wasn't the worse that had happened to her, considering what she'd gotten in the Blitz, but this was the first time that she hadn't staggered off the battlefield on her own.

Something in his stomach kept gnawing away, whispering that it was his fault she was hurt like this. If he'd been faster or stronger, hadn't let her go with Nihlus...

Admittedly, he'd acted out of blind panic on Eden Prime. He hadn't even thought about the consequences for his actions, nor about the remainder of the mission. To him, losing that Prothean beacon wasn't a problem. Besides, it was rattling around in his head like some kind of seed. She'd been right by the artifact... Maybe it had passed on to her as well? Just thinking about that enraged him. She was too innocent to deserve that kind of vision forced upon her. He could only think of Torfan and how angry she had been afterwards. He wanted — no, needed her smiles.

_It wasn't my fault. It wasn't hers. It was that bastard Saren's. When I get my hands on him, that turian is going to regret the day he was born._

For the first time, Shepard entertained the idea of being with her. Seeing her almost die had been... He didn't know what it had been. The mere fact that he'd panicked, reacted, and still wished that he'd been there was enough to tell him that he wasn't going to shake his feelings for her anytime soon. Yeah, it'd only been three weeks, but that was the longest he'd ever had a single woman on his mind. Worse, she'd probably been there for longer... much longer. It wasn't like they could just _start_ being together — have her wake up to him kissing her or holding her or something like that. He couldn't do that to her. Hell, he wasn't even sure if she liked him in return. She'd hinted, kissed his cheek, been nearly enraged when he'd hooked up with someone else, but that could easily have meant nothing, since they'd been friends for so long and she hugged everyone.

He brushed the back of his fingers across her cheek, feeling the smooth skin of her scars. Even though he wasn't sure when he'd started thinking that she was pretty, he did now, even with the bruising marring one side of her face and the gauze holding back the blood. His gut plunged when he realized that he wouldn't know how to treat her. He wasn't soft or kind by nature, he took what he wanted, and he would never, ever be able to do something like that to her.

_What the fuck am I thinking? She's my best friend...my only friend. She's Ci-Ci, damnit. Fuck, I thought this was behind me._

"What the hell are you doing to me, Cassie?" he breathed, squeezing her hand. Regardless of what he chose to do about his affections (and regs stated that he couldn't do a damn thing), he was going to be there for her. If they were lucky, she wouldn't lapse into PTSD or something worse. If she did... He couldn't think about it. He couldn't leave her, though. She needed him... He needed her. It was a basic enough exchange, but he was finally beginning to understand it.

Although he may not have liked it, he'd never had any illusions about the fact that he cared about her. He just fought down exactly how deep those affections ran and what their true nature was. Then again, he still didn't know if he wanted to do anything about them or not. To have a girlfriend was... unnerving, even more so to have it be her. Part of him felt like he'd ruin her, scar her for life (metaphorically), destroy every shrapnel of innocence she had left. That was one of the things he liked most about her: War had never really touched her, not beyond her scars or her skills on the field. She could still smile as brightly as she had the day they met. If he was lucky, she'd be like that when she finally came back to him — regained consciousness, he meant.

Maybe, just maybe, though... Maybe she'd let him...

Dr. Chakwas came back in. "Alright, Commander, you've bothered her for long enough."

"Any idea when she'll be conscious?"

"I couldn't say. She isn't sedated and she isn't sleeping. Now, if you'll excuse me, Commander, I need to make sure that the bleeding is stopping."

Shepard couldn't argue as he was ushered out of the med bay. Still, though, he didn't know if he was supposed to feel better or worse.

The Crew Deck was just as cold as the upper deck. There as an open mess area, a line of sleeper pods for the crew, and the Captain's cabin. The wall directly next to the med bay had the Officer's lockers, Shepard's included. He went there now, not sure where else to go.

Alenko raised his eyebrows and came over from the other side of the mess. "Commander. How're you doing? It'd have to be something rough to take you out."

"I've been better," Shepard muttered. "What the hell happened down there?"

"Not sure. The beacon lit up, pulled you into the air, and you went all rigid before you just collapsed. Williams took care of Ci-Ci until the _Normandy_ got there. How's she doing, by the way? She looked pretty bad."

"The Doc says she'll be alright," Shepard murmured, leaning against the lockers.

"And you?"

Shepard didn't answer.

Alenko stepped closer and lowered his voice, "You look pretty shaken, Shepard. She'll be alright. She's tougher than she looks. You of all people should know that."

Shepard nodded. "Still doesn't meant I like seeing her like that. Don't tell anyone else I said that."

"Of course not, Commander. But... can I ask you something?"

"You can ask."

"Why haven't you two gotten together?"

"That's out of line, Alenko," Shepard hissed, heart racing.

"Sorry, Commander. It's just that I saw your face when you heard her radio go dead."

Shepard lowered his head, not sure how to answer. He and Kaidan weren't friends. Hell, they'd barely ever spoken, although Ci-Ci seemed to know him well enough. Maybe Shepard could ask Alenko about — As if Shepard would trust anyone other than her with what he was thinking.

"That obvious?" Shepard muttered.

"Just letting you know, Commander. She might appreciate hearing that you were worried from you, not me."

"I'll keep that in mind, Lieutenant. Dismissed."

* * *

><p><strong>4 May 2183 — <em>SSV Normandy<em> _SR-1_, Market Ward Docks, the Citadel, Widow Cluster, Serpent Nebula**

Anderson tapped his fingers on the rail of the galaxy map, watching the bridge as Joker flew the _Normandy _into the Citadel. The nebula was orange and purple, looking more like the clouds of Earth as sunset than space. Ships of all sized maneuvered through the area, most headed in and out of the docks, but some guarding the massive structure.

Shepard stood behind Joker, leaning on the seat. He'd never managed to get to the Citadel before, even though Corinthia kept telling him that she had a place there and there was good bacon, or something like that. Beside him, Williams and Alenko practically pressed their noses against the glass to get a better view.

"Big place," Alenko breathed.

"That your official opinion, sir?" Williams teased.

"Just stating the facts, Chief."

"Yeah, just ignore the guy that's driving," Joker muttered between coordinating with C-Sec for docking instructions.

"Shepard, come meet me in the comm room," Anderson called.

"Aye, aye, sir," Shepard replied.

"Ooh, someone's in trouble," Joker cooed.

"It's gonna be you if you don't avoid that ship."

Joker deftly corrected. "What? Me? Hit something? I don't know what you're talking about."

Anderson stepped into the comm room a moment before Shepard. "Are you ready to debrief the Council, Commander?"

Shepard nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be, sir."

"That's good to hear. Humanity needs this, Shepard."

"I understand, sir."

"So we can count on you?"

"I do my duty, Captain, and you know it. Just give me a chance and I'll get the Council on our side."

"Your word might not be enough."

"It'd damn well better be. Saren shot my friend in the head. Like hell I'm going to let him get away with that, sir," Shepard answered darkly, his anger getting a hold of him.

"Save that thought for the fight, Shepard. We don't want to start a war with the turians. For all we know, that could be what Saren is after."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. He doubted that a little yelling on his part could ignite something like that, but the thought of doing it was... enticing.

"How's Corinthia doing?" Anderson asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Didn't you get that from the Doc?"

"I'm asking you."

Shepard clasped his hands behind his back, snapping back into proper conduct. "She's recovering, sir. Still hasn't woken up, but her wound has been mended and she'll make a full recovery."

Anderson crossed his arms. "You don't believe that, do you?"

"Sir?"

"She may do a very good job of lying to the Brass in reports, but we all know that you're friends. You don't need to worry about me getting you into trouble for any of that, Shepard."

Shepard took a slow breath before carefully answering, "I would rather speak to the Council when she's with me. She was the one Saren attacked. She'll be the proof we need."

"_We'll be at the docks in five minutes, Captain_," Joker radioed.

"Good. I'm going ashore. Shepard will have the deck until I return with a skeleton crew and the others can go on shore leave."

Shepard saluted. "Sir."

"At ease, Shepard. Just let me know when she comes to," Anderson murmured. "I'll want to talk to her before we get to Ambassador Udina. Dismissed."

Shepard left the comm room and went down to the crew deck. Most everyone was already gearing up to leave the _Normandy_ (not that he blamed them, after walking into a firefight and coming out without a crewmate), so he practically had the level to himself. He stepped towards the med bay door, thought better, and went to his locker. Since he'd been discharged, he hadn't seen her. He'd wanted to, but he hadn't. Dr. Chakwas insisted that she "have space and time to recover", but Shepard wouldn't have been in the way. Not really. It wouldn't have been like he was holding her hand the entire time.

Then again, it was probably better that he just waiting outside. His mind had been less than organized since she'd been shot, to the point that he didn't know if he wanted to comfort her or yell at her for getting hurt at all.

Dr. Chakwas eyed Shepard through the window as he started pacing. "That man really needs to come to terms with his emotions," she murmured. Though she was no psychologist, she knew how soldiers like Shepard worked. Any emotions were repressed and used as fuel in a fight. Attachment wasn't an option when there was so much death around, but every soldier was, ultimately, human. Shepard was considered to be anything but. His cold and calculating nature, not to mention his dossier of missions, made him seem super-human.

To date, the only weakness he'd been found to have was Corinthia, and even then very few people would have been able to tell. Shepard's version of affection was little more than simple tolerance. Corinthia could be quite annoying at times, but rather than snap or yell at her, he either subtly egged her on or got her back on task. Besides, she was his friend, perhaps his only real one. Dr. Chakwas would never mention anything to that effect to the man himself. It wasn't that she was afraid of him (because she wasn't), but rather that she saw no reason to tell him to act otherwise. It wasn't any of her business how he treated Corinthia, so long as it wasn't badly.

Personally, Dr. Chakwas believed that Corinthia deserved better. Shepard was a good soldier, and only sometimes a good officer, but he wasn't a good man. Well, maybe he was, but it was buried so deep that it had never shown in anything other than his relationship with Corinthia — and even then, any goodness in it was on her part. Corinthia was a good kid, with a big heart and little discrimination, and she had this way of getting along with almost everyone. Dr. Chakwas liked her immensely, especially because she seemed to survive whatever happened to her.

Hopefully, she would do the same again.

Several hours passed. Corinthia's monitors showed her consciousness switching from unconsciousness to simply sleeping. Finally, she opened her eyes, snapped them shut, released a slow breath, and groaned. "What the... Frickin' lights..."

"I see you're awake," the doctor replied. "How are you feeling?"

"My temples are about to explode, but I'll live," Corinthia replied painfully, sitting up.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you," Dr. Chakwas scolded.

"Whatever. I need to be on my feet." Corinthia took a deep breath. "Woo, there goes the dizziness... Spinning..."

"Well, you were shot in the head and you did lose a lot of blood."

"Thanks for reminding me. Okay, that's passed." Corinthia straightened a little. "Where is everyone?"

"On shore leave, mostly. A few of us remained behind. The Commander's been pacing outside for the last four hours, not to mention attempting to knock on the door every half hour when he thinks no one's looking. I've never seen him so worked up."

Corinthia closed her eyes. "You mean he was actually worried?"

"That would be putting it mildly."

Corinthia smiled softly. "That's..." She laughed. "Who'd've guessed?"

"Honestly? Most everyone. You're the only one he treats like a human."

Corinthia snorted. "Yeah, right. So... can I go?"

"I think not. You're staying in here until I say you can go."

"Or if Anderson orders me out."

"Unlikely. He doesn't have the ship right now."

"Wait... Shepard's in charge?"

"That is correct."

"No wonder why everyone left..." Corinthia shrugged absently and lay back down. "Alright, run your tests. Whatever. I'll probably want something to take the edge off the headache, though."

"You were shot in the head, Cassiopeia. Of course it's going to hurt." Dr. Chakwas came over. "However, your helmet absorbed the majority of the blow, but there was still damage to the bone. I had to remove quite a bit of shrapnel, but other than the severe concussion, my scans indicated that you'll recover. How is your mental clarity?"

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Of all the people you're asking that question to, you pick me? C'mon, Doc, you _know_ that my mind's a war-zone carnival with creepy clowns, lions, performing bears, and some unicorns and rainbows mixed in for good measure. As if it'd be clear at all."

Dr. Chakwas crossed her arms. "Well, how about your physical functions?"

Corinthia wiggled her toes, flexed her fingers, and made various faces at the ceiling. "I think I'm alright. If my smile's lopsided, just let me know."

"It's not."

Outside, Shepard was so focused on the narrow line he'd been pacing that he hadn't even noticed that Corinthia was moving. His thoughts were mostly concentrated on how he'd rip Saren apart limb from limb using increasingly violent methods. The Commander wasn't even making any excuses about his reasoning: Saren had tried to kill his friend. Therefore, the turian deserved to die as slowly and painfully as possible. Besides, thinking about torture stopped Shepard from thinking about how he was supposed to react when Corinthia did wake.

Then he heard her laugh. It was weak, but it was still her. Before he really thought about it, he was heading to the med bay door.

"...look alright to me," Dr. Chakwas finished, setting down her instruments. "Just get some rest and don't get into a fight for at least a week."

"You know I can't promise either of those things," Corinthia replied.

"Only because you follow him around like a puppy. You know perfectly well what sorts of trouble follow him."

"That I do, although it usually tends to be me."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Cassiopeia. It's not your fault that you've ended up in as many tough situations as you have."

Corinthia didn't answer immediately. With the exception of the Skyllian Blitz, she had either requested or altered her assignment to be in said "tough situation." Until Akuze, it had been volunteering for particular assignments, but afterwards it had been to be near Shepard. He had never realized just how deeply the event had shaken her or how much it had meant for him to have tried to comfort her. Frankly, she wasn't even sure how much their friendship meant to him at all. She had other friends, sure, but it wasn't the same. She could tell him anything (except that she liked him, but only out of sheer mortified embarrassment) and he seemed to accept her just as she was. Coming from him, it was more than a miracle that he could stomach her, but somehow it worked.

"I'm just lucky like that," Corinthia casually replied, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. "I must have some subliminal penchant for a challenge and almost getting myself killed."

"I think it's rather more that you like him."

"He's my friend. Of course I like him."

"That isn't what I meant."

"For once, I know what you're talking about but I'm going to elect to remain ambiguous in this case."

Dr. Chakwas raised her eyebrows. "Apparently that blow to the head did you more good than harm."

"I can't be oblivious all the time, but there are occasions when it's better to be that way. Besides, there are regs to keep in mind... Not that I particularly care, but I think I'm on duty right now..." She scratched her head, wincing as her fingers drifted too close to the bandaging. "How long before this stuff comes off?"

"Whenever I decide to discharge you."

"Better make that soon, Doc," Shepard interrupted, the med bay doors hissing shut behind him. "Anderson told me to report in once she was awake."

"Shall I do that for you, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas offered.

Shepard nodded.

"Very well. Please don't harass my patient, Commander." She gave Shepard a kind smile and left.

Corinthia ran her fingers through her hair, smiling sheepishly. "Hey..."

Before Shepard knew what he was doing, he had crossed the distance between them and was embracing her as tightly as he could. Corinthia might have made some kind of muffled protest, but it wasn't long before her arms encircled his waist and held onto him just as dearly. Now that he was there, she realized just what a dire situation she had been in. If it had been enough to bother him so much that he would actually _hug_ her first (she wasn't even sure that had ever happened), then it had to have been serious. Or he was still trying to make things up to her, as he often tended to do whenever he knew he'd hurt her somehow.

After a long moment, he loosed his grip on her a little as he stepped back to look at the wound. "Shit, Cassie, you look terrible."

"Speak for yourself," she answered. "Are you alright?"

"Am _I_ alright? You're the one that got shot!"

"Yeah, but you're doing... this."

"What?"

"_Hugging_ me."

Shepard shook his head. "You're my friend. You're... important." He took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "I know that I really fucked up back on Earth, but it was..."

Cassie smiled softly and poked his arm. "Don't bother, Shep. I get it: You didn't want to lose your friend."

"That's one way to say it," he muttered, not sure if he wanted to tell her was actually going through is mind or if he was going to be content to just have her back in general.

She cocked her head to one side. "So what were you thinking?"

He moved his hands to her waist. "I... Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

"What? Getting cornered by psychotic turians and synthetic AIs?"

He brushed her bangs away from her eyes so that he could touch her scars. It was probably more affectionate of a gesture than he'd meant, but he wasn't particularly sure that he cared anymore. "Getting hurt like this."

She blushed faintly. "You think I like this?" she whispered. "That I like being cornered or getting beat up? To have to wait for you to show up and save my sorry ass? Of course I don't! I _hate_ these." She gestured to the marks on her face and the various ones on her arms and body. "I'm nowhere near normal as it is, but these just make me... a freak or something, I don't know."

"You're not anything like that."

"You're just saying that..."

"You should know me well enough by now to know that I don't say something unless I mean it. You're amazing. You're... Damn it, don't you know that the scars are a good thing?" Shepard liked her scars. He didn't like that she had them, but he couldn't imagine her without them.

She raised an eyebrow (her right, which wouldn't interfere with her open wound). "Are you going to explain? Or is this you trying to compliment me again?"

He put his hand over her mouth. "Let me finish. You're a good soldier, even if you don't look like it. We've been through some of the worse situations the Alliance has experienced in the last ten years. You're a lieutenant commander. What else do you want me to tell you? That you're funny? Smart? Creative? Beautiful?"

Her eyes widened a little at the last one, but she didn't say anything. He hadn't meant to let it slip, either, but it was too late for him to take it back. His only option was to finish as if it hadn't meant anything.

"I just don't like seeing you get hurt, and it happens a lot," Shepard finished weakly, dropping his hand from her mouth. "You're better than that and you know it."

"I was cornered," she replied defensively.

"Bull shit."

"Not true — Well, okay, I guess you're right. I could've saved my shields instead of that stupid beacon..."

Shepard narrowed his eyes. "What did you say?"

"I downloaded the beacon. Took all the power out of my hardsuit and sapped my shields. I couldn't even hack the geth."

"Did it work?" he asked, almost desperately.

"Did what work?"

"The download. Did it work?"

"I don't know. I haven't been conscious for very long." She extracted herself from his grasp and opened her omni-tool. "It looks like I got about eighty-percent of the data there, but reading it's going to be close to impossible without a Prothean language program. Maybe the asari might have one, if I can get into Thessia's — "

Shepard caught her free hand before she could do anything. "Don't. We're going to need it intact."

"Huh? Why?"

He ran a hand over his head. "We didn't exactly get the beacon."

"Oh... And what about Saren? Did you get him?"

"No."

She opened her mouth to congratulate him, but then processed what he had actually said. "That's — Wait, what? You didn't get him? What happened? I mean, you've never — "

Shepard sat next to her, his shoulder touching hers. "I know."

"Bad timing, huh?"

"Seriously."

Corinthia patted his arm. "I'm sorry, Shep. That's awful."

"It couldn't be much worse, either. Anderson's pretty sure the Council isn't going to believe us."

"He's right about that."

"That's why he wants to talk to you."

"I haven't got anything to say. I wasn't exactly conscious for most of it..."

"Damn it."

"What happened down there? I mean, other than Saren losing it and using the geth to invade one of our colonies."

"He shot you and left on that goddamn ship of his. When I finally got to you, you were bleeding out by the beacon. It... turned on. Showed me things..." Shepard rubbed his temples wearily. "Did you..."

"Yeah, for a second, when I touched it to start the download." She reached for his hand and squeezed his fingers. "I don't remember anything but what it made me feel." She shivered. "It was like..."

"Watching genocide."

"Yeah, I guess... I just thought it was freaky and disturbing." She put her head on his shoulder. "You'll be alright. You always are."

"Yeah..." He coughed, extracted himself from her grasp, and got to his feet. "You should get into uniform. We're going to speak to the Council."

"Not just Anderson?"

"Not just Anderson."

"Did you make the Spectres?" she asked eagerly. "Or is this about Eden Prime?"

"I don't know. We're going to see them as soon as you can move."

She snorted. "I've been moving."

"Walk, I mean." Shepard went to the door of the med-bay. Dr. Chakwas came in as soon as it opened, though it was hard to tell if she'd heard or was just looking slightly smug in general. "So, Doc, can she leave?"

"Well, I doubt that I could stop her if she really wanted to, so yes, she can," Dr. Chakwas answered. "Keep her out of trouble, will you, Commander?"

"I'll do my best, but I can't promise anything." Shepard caught Corinthia as she staggered into him. She giggled and grinned at him. He groaned. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…"

She righted herself quickly and winked. "Just testing. I am not seeing sideways and I am not actually dizzy. Right, where's my armor? Or are we supposed to be in dress blues?"

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Just get suited up, Ci-Ci, before I cause you real brain damage."

"You do realize that would fix me, right?"

"Hurry up."

"That's what she said."


	9. The Citadel Council

**_A/N 30 March 2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing! Check out his story **The Butcher**! It's well-written, interesting, and VERY different :D_

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

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><p><p>

**4 May 2183—_SSV Normandy SR-1, _Alliance Docks, Market Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula**

Corinthia examined her newest wound in the mirror. While the scars from Elysium were slowly starting to fade, this new one never would. The injury had gone through muscle into her bone, so she would have a permanent dent just above her left temple. Dr. Chakwas had put something on it to keep in the blood, if it started bleeding, and to keep the skin together as it healed, but it still twinged whenever Corinthia moved or made an expression.

She didn't like it. Why couldn't she just look like everyone else? No scars, no goofy grin, nothing? Maybe she could get plastic surgery. There were some good places on the Citadel for that kind of thing.

Shepard knocked on the door. Though the crew all slept in pods lining the crew deck, they had a common area at the back with bathrooms and a common area to get into and out of uniform. Corinthia was in the latter, making faces at herself in the mirror as she tried to figure out how to best conceal the newest addition to her battle scars.

"A bit of makeup and no one will ever know," he said. "Not that you ever wear it."

She squeaked, jumped, and rounded on him. "Shepard! You scared me! Please, don't do that to me right now. My head's still pounding..."

"Yeah, mine, too."

"So, you never told me what it is you saw."

"You don't want to know."

"Oh... Alright." She smoothed her hair down over her scars, completely concealing her eyes since her bangs reached down to her chin. "Great, now I really can't see."

"You're a soldier, Ci-Ci. You're allowed to look edgy."

"_You_ look dangerous, Shepard. I've got a stupid grin and can't even look intimidating if I try."

"Not true."

"Well, _you _I can yell at and most people listen to me because they're afraid you're going to show up and yell at them instead."

Shepard chuckled. "You can get pretty scary when you're angry. You got me to apologize once, and I'm pretty damn sure you're the only person I've ever done that to."

She blushed and smiled bashfully. "You did, didn't you? I can put that on my resume, then: 'Skills: I can scare Commander Shepard into an apology, but only after a massive argument of morality'. I can see that going over well and getting me a job as C-Sec."

"You'd be a terrible security guard."

"I'm an even worse soldier."

"Not really. You just should've been a..."

"An artist?"

"I was going to say a hacker, but we can go with — Wait, what did you say?"

She laughed. "I've told you before that I love painting and sculpting and all that stuff, didn't I?"

"Maybe... When?"

"I dunno... After Akuze, maybe."

"Then I probably wasn't listening. I was still only catching every other word at that point in our relationship."

"And I was still hanging on your every word."

"You still do."

"Only because you've got a sexy voice."

He raised an eyebrow, his heart racing. She'd complimented him before. Hell, she'd even called him attractive before, but now that he wanted to hear that she liked him... He was overreacting, he was sure, but he was still satisfied to hear her say it.

"That's a new one from you," he murmured.

"So maybe I'm comfortable saying it. I'm a flock of seagulls, you've got this grizzly growl..." She smiled evilly.

Shepard shook his head. "You could seduce someone if you wanted to and you know it. Playing innocent won't help, but I think you could manage, with some practice and a tight dress."

She laughed shortly.

"What?" Shepard asked, curious.

"Me in a dress. That'd be the day..."

"You've worn them before, haven't you?"

"Like when I was in school..."

"It could happen again."

"It'd take you begging me on bended knee with lots of chocolate, roses, and some kind of serenade. Wait, not roses... Lilies, I think."

"Two of the three I can handle, but a serenade? You know I can't sing."

"No, I don't. I've never heard you try. C'mon, give it a shot."

"Do you want me to break every glass surface in the ship?"

"It can't be that bad."

"No," Shepard ordered firmly. "The only way I'll sing is if —"

Behind them, Alenko coughed. "Commanders, Anderson just called. He says that we're supposed to meet in the human Embassies."

"That's our cue," Shepard murmured gratefully. Anything artistic on his part was out of the question. He couldn't dance, either, and he doubted that he could ever get dragged into it by anyone or anything.

Corinthia finished adjusting her hair so that her scars were mostly hidden. "Yeah, that's our cue." As she stepped towards the door, flailed her arms as she spun back around. "Forgot my jacket. Might be useful to be in full dress uniform, you know?"

Shepard nodded. Although he was pretty sure he knew what the Council was going to say, he was going to make a damn good impression. If that meant a dress uniform, he'd do it — which really meant he, Alenko, Williams, and Corinthia would dress up, too, because Shepard was not going to be the only one.

"Williams is on the bridge, Commander," Alenko murmured. "You have time to read her report?"

"Mostly," Shepard muttered. It hadn't been very flattering. Although it praised his skills, she'd called him out for how ruthlessly he'd gone after Corinthia to get her back, without regard to survivors or anyone else. Shepard was used to this kind of review from his peers (and it wasn't like he cared what Williams thought of him), but since everything surrounding Eden Prime had gone from bad to worse, a "bad review" was one more thing that he didn't want or need.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it, Commander. She's pretty shaken up by everything that happened. She still hasn't figured out that you have a good side."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Good side? Where the hell did you hear that?"

"Ci-Ci."

"Yeah, she'd say that..."

"Is it not true?"

"It's irrelevant what my 'sides' are. That whole mission was a goddamn nightmare and no one's going to care that I'm capable of a smirk if Ci-Ci pushes me hard enough."

"With all due respect, sir, I think you're overreacting. There wasn't anything else we could've done down there and you know it. At least you got Ci-Ci out of there alive."

"You can say that. The Brass sure as hell won't." Corinthia was a good soldier, but in light of a Prothean artifact, she — like everything else — was expendable in the Council's and Alliance's eyes. Given the same situation, Shepard would still have done the same thing: give them the finger and save Ci-Ci.

"It's good to see you back, Ci-Ci," Alenko said, smiling and patting her shoulder. "How you feeling?"

"I should probably get a quick answer to that one, but, uhm..." Corinthia thought for a long moment. "Drummy."

"Drummy?"

"My head's pounding, I can feel echoes, and... uh, yeah. I feel like a kettle drum or something, so that's why I say 'drummy'."

"Huh."

Shepard shook his head. "Only you, Ci-Ci, would think of that."

"It's true, though," she protested.

"Can't you say something normal? Like 'fine, but my head's killing me'?"

She frowned sarcastically. "Who are you talking to?"

"Oh, right. As if you're even capable of normality."

"Thank you, dear." She stuck out her tongue at him for good measure.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," Shepard sneered.

Alenko snickered. The fact that the Commander was even capable of saying "sweetheart" was nothing short of hilarious. It was like him saying, "cute", "fluffy", "cuddly", or "shiny".

"Your top button's undone," Corinthia observed, reaching for the one at Shepard's collar.

He waved her off. "I'll get it later."

"Comfort first?"

"You know I hate these monkey suits."

"But you look so good..." she whined.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, you'd say that."

"So'd any other female on the crew."

"Not that I'd care."

"I know you do."

"Maybe before, but not anymore." He couldn't remember if he'd told her flat-out that he was done with one-night-stands, but he was and she needed to know.

"Wait, I'm confused..."

"Then stay that way."

She snorted huffily. "Fine."

"Fine." Shepard could only wonder if she got the point. Frankly, he doubted it, but her signals were as mixed as ever... He was just starting to notice them.

Williams saluted as they approached. "Commander. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, ma'am," she introduced.

Corinthia saluted back, grinning and holding out her hand for a proper handshake. "LC Ci-Ci," she answered. "At ease, Williams. Call me 'Ci-Ci'. I never did get that ma'am thing."

"Aye, aye, ma — Ci-Ci," Williams replied, a little unnerved.

"So, you helped drag our sorry hides off of Eden Prime?" Corinthia asked casually.

"Yes..."

"Awesome. Thanks. Wouldn't want to have ended up eaten by the geth or those zombie things. Nasty way to go, zombies."

Williams looked at Shepard in shock. There was no way it was the same woman. The one Williams had heard on the radio sounded like a seasoned soldier, although perhaps guilty of insubordination, but certainly someone able to handle the geth assault. Corinthia must've suffered more head trauma than Dr. Chakwas let on...

Shepard smirked. He always relished seeing people's first reactions to Corinthia (as she tended to never, ever give an expected greeting or first conversation). "Something to say, Chief?"

"Just... surprised, sir," Williams muttered. _He'd go ape-shit to save her?_

Corinthia clapped Williams on the shoulder. "Well, since you haven't heard about my quirks, the best advice I can give is to just play along. I'm here to balance him out." Corinthia pointed an accusing finger at Shepard. "The man's got no people skills whatsoever. Well, that's not true, but you get the idea."

"Oh, I have a pretty good one," Williams replied lowly.

"That sounds like there's a story behind that."

"Permission to tell it?"

"Just go ahead. I can almost guarantee that I've heard and/or seen worse."

Shepard groaned and moved ahead of them. He wasn't in the mood to hear stories about his own short-comings, even if Corinthia had a way of twisting them into sounding like "awesomely amazing" things.

"Maybe she needs a few more days in medical," Alenko murmured.

Shepard shook his head. "Unfortunately, she's perfectly fine. You just haven't seen her making new friends."

"And you have?"

"Obviously. At least this time she isn't hacking the Alliance just to know what to talk to someone about."

"She did that? Huh. Doesn't sound like her."

"You have no idea, Alenko."

"Understood, Commander."

"...but then he gave me Xerxes and everything went smoothly from there," Corinthia finished.

"Xerxes?" Williams asked.

"Yeah. It's a mini-nuke launcher. Honestly, I'm not even sure how the batarians got their claws on them, but they did. Only good part of the Blitz, if you ask me. Blowing things up is fun."

"And you got a Star of Terra for that, didn't you?"

"Yup."

"And survived Akuze?"

"Yuh-huh."

"_And_ Torfan?"

"Blame the tough guy for that one, but yes," Corinthia answered, jerking a thumb towards Shepard.

"So how did you get cornered down there?"

Corinthia blushed slightly. "A combination of stupidity and bad luck... and maybe a bit of Sheppiness."

"Uh... Sheppiness?"

"Being like Shepard. Anyway, our goal was to get the beacon. So, since our little turian friend was going to take it with him, I downloaded it. Damn thing drained my hard-suit and took up all of my omni-tool's functionality. I'm TOTALLY getting it upgraded as soon as I have a moment. But that beacon was my only cover — and probably the smartest I could get — and Saren's a good-ish shot. So, head wound, unconsciousness, and 85% of a beacon that he didn't even bother to take with him."

"But it did blow up."

"Yep. So far, I'm winning the 'at least something went right' competition."

Shepard stepped between them. "Ci-Ci, be quiet. Now." His nerves were on edge and, as great as it was to see her back to herself, he didn't have the patience for her antics. Maybe after they met with the Council they could go out and unwind, but until then, they were going to be the soldiers they were.

"Huh? Why?"

"Because I'll confine you to quarters if you don't." He pulled her closer and whispered, "I don't need you screwing this up."

She opened her mouth to protest ("Give me one moment when I actually have"), half of a sound coming out before she clamped her lips together and saluted smartly.

Williams raised her eyebrows and looked at Alenko curiously.

"I'll explain later," Alenko whispered.

Williams already suspected plenty. She'd had a couple boyfriends, but not one of them would've acted anything like Shepard had. Corinthia clearly had no idea what was going through his head or she was more adept at hiding it than Shepard was, in a weird way. The way the Commander looked at Corinthia was... Williams didn't know how to describe it. On Eden Prime, he'd looked like some kind of devil or demon, but with Corinthia around, he looked calmer, almost... normal.

Then again, considering how Corinthia tended to be so random, there was probably no way that Corinthia even knew what was going through Shepard's head. Not that anyone could. His expression hadn't changed, so far as Williams had seen, other than to sneer or frown in contempt.

Joker strained his neck to see them. "Ci-Ci? That you? I thought I heard you cackling."

"Joker." Corinthia answered, looking at Shepard to see if he was going to snap at her again for speaking. "Get a good view of that ship?"

"What? That massive squid thing that was bigger than, like, I don't know... an arm of the Citadel?"

"Cthulu, yes."

"Uh... What?"

"Oh, nevermind. Did you track it?"

"Couldn't. I was too busy avoiding the geth and saving your asses."

"Eh, well, it was worth a shot. But, thanks." She patted him lightly on the shoulder.

"I'd better get a medal or something for this."

"I'll find you a badge while I'm out. 'Best damn pilot in the Fleet'."

"Great. And make sure it says 'handsome' in there somewhere, too. I think I deserve that."

Shepard snorted. "I think I'll add, 'biggest mouth' to it, too."

"Hey, well, no one else can do what I can, so I think I'm allowed," Joker muttered.

Corinthia snickered. "That's what she said."

* * *

><p><strong>Human Embassies, Presidium, Citadel<strong>

Anderson really, really, really disliked Donnel Udina, the human Ambassador to the Citadel. The man was a greasy politician to the core, pro-human in all the wrong ways (albeit in all the right ones as well), and didn't have the patience for the Council's methods of action.

But Anderson had no choice in the matter. He was stuck with Udina as a representative, which unfortunately meant that Shepard would be put on edge. Udina liked the idea of Shepard, especially as a Spectre, but the Commander himself... Udina wanted nothing to do with him. Anyone that acted independently or somewhat for the greater good rather than humanity made the Ambassador sneer in disgust.

Udina sat behind his desk, fingers steepled and glaring at Anderson. He had dark skin, graying hair, and a snake-like, sallow face. His brow furrowed in apprehension and his lips rarely did anything but frown.

"You've caused quite the mess, Captain," Udina hissed.

"You know perfectly well that I had no control over that situation," Anderson replied gruffly.

"Shepard and Corinthia had better have the evidence we need."

"They won't let you down."

"I've read his report, not to mention his file when we put him up for the Spectres..." Udina trailed off dramatically as he got to his feet. "He isn't the kind of man we want standing before the Council right now."

"Shepard may not like authority, but he knows how to play to them," Anderson replied. Although Shepard had never ignored orders in a way that compromised the Alliance (including Torfan), he was known to not show respect to officers he thought incompetent. "He understands that what happened down there was serious. He doesn't accept failure."

"Good, because in all likelihood we're going to have to fix this," Udina muttered. "I don't want him here when the Council calls. I want to debrief him myself."

"He's bringing his team from Eden Prime with him. He won't be alone."

"Then I'll debrief them, too, Anderson," Udina snapped, as if it were obvious.

Anderson gritted his teeth. He was a soldier to the core, a man who would rather be on the front lines than the side. Dealing with politics made him sick.

The holovid station beeped, indicating an incoming call.

Udina took a deep breath. "If they come, stall them."

* * *

><p>Corinthia watched the levels of the Presidium fly by as they took the elevator to the Embassies. The Presidium looked like a utopia, with beautiful blue sky (fake, of course), green gardens, colorful flowers, and massive bodies of water. Only the richest of the rich could afford somewhere here, not to mention the politicians and lobbyists that needed to stay close to the Council. It was truly the heart of galactic civilization.<p>

"It's so weird being home..." Corinthia murmured.

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Home?"

"Yeah. I grew up here, remember?"

"Not really."

"Salarian school."

"Oh, right. I'm kind of focused on other stuff right now," he muttered.

"My apartment's over there," she continued, pointing. "Well, sorta. It's in the Market Ward. At least, it should still be. I mean, I haven't been there in ages..."

Shepard sighed. "Is that a hint that we're going to have to drop by there later?"

"If you don't mind..."

"We'll see."

Williams crossed her arms. Unlike the others, she didn't have dress blues (since her assignment wasn't the _Normandy_), so she was feeling more like an outsider than ever. "Are we all invited or are you and the Commander going to have some kind of rendezvous?"

Corinthia laughed before Shepard could snap a cruel remark.

"Rendezvous?" Corinthia repeated. "Are you kidding me? The place is probably a mess, for one thing, and, besides, y'all are coming, too."

Alenko raised his eyebrows. "So it's a group thing."

"Yep," Corinthia answered, winking. "Party's on me. We got off Eden Prime alive, so we're having drinks. At Flux or something, because no way do you want to stay at my place."

"Why not?" Shepard murmured. "Embarrassing?"

"Well, I mean, it's kinda covered in my... stuff."

"Stuff? Clothes? All those dresses you don't wear?"

"Well, probably, but I'm kinda talking about... art," she finished bashfully.

Shepard snorted. He still couldn't imagine her as an artist, even if her eccentricity seemed to go along perfectly with it, not to mention that she spent too much time on her omni-tool to be good at anything else.

Williams cocked her head to one side. "Like what? Painting and drawing?"

"Mostly. I sculpt, too, although that was mostly to annoy the salarians. They don't get art at all. Well, they do more than turians, but a human artist is a pet project to them. See how long it takes for me to get the nostrils right, all that stuff..." Corinthia wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Urgh. They took all the inspiration right out of me."

"Wait... Salarians?"

"Yep. Salarian school. Don't ask how I survived, they're still testing their hypotheses for a journal of some kind."

Williams laughed. "That would explain a lot."

"It explains everything," Alenko murmured. "Fast talker, fast thinker... Just doesn't explain how she's friends with the Commander."

"Don't ask," Shepard growled. "I don't even know why."

"It's my grin," Corinthia answered playfully. "Charmed his socks off."

"And his pants," Williams added under her breath.

"Only after we jumped into a pool, but that was on purpose and he took them off himself. My smile hasn't quite reached its full de-robing potential," Corinthia replied, her tone suggesting that she hadn't understood Williams insinuation.

Shepard frowned and glared at Williams. "We're friends. It's against my will, but we're friends," he told her sternly, adding a look that ordered her to drop the subject.

"Aye, aye, skip," Williams answered, saluting.

"Skip? Why didn't I think of that..." Corinthia pouted.

Shepard groaned. It was going to be a long day.

The elevator finally stopped. Shepard stepped out first, grateful to have a moment. Alenko was right behind him. The lieutenant looked around before muttering, "You know, I see why a lot of women don't sign up. Get two of them together and they'll talk nonstop..."

"Tell me about it," Shepard growled.

"Want me to separate them?"

"I'll just dose with medi-gel if they give me a migraine. And if that doesn't help, there's always other things... Like red sand."

"Yeah, but that'd make it worse. You'd be able to see what was in Ci-Ci's head."

"Good point, Alenko. I'm sure I can think of a way to subdue her." Shepard had a few in mind, but since they were... romantic, he doubted that they'd be acceptable forms of repression and would, in all likelihood, make her squeak, giggle, and talk all the more.

"I'll let you know if I come up with anything, sir. The crew's sanity depends on it."

"Hell, yeah."

Corinthia took a deep breath. She didn't like the Citadel. It had a lot of bad memories associated with it, though she kept them to herself. The worst of them she hadn't even told Shepard, and he was her best friend. Then again, he hadn't wanted to know. Any time something came up, he changed the subject.

Shepard murmured for the others to go ahead before putting a hand on her shoulder. "You alright, Cassie?"

"Hm? Oh, just... It hasn't changed in God knows how long, and this is where... Nothing. Don't worry about me. Let's get this over with."

Shepard grabbed her hand. "You can't be distracted in there."

"If I dwell on anything out here, I will be."

He released her, although he didn't want to. He understood that she could only smile so much before she had a meltdown. Eden Prime, though not nearly as dramatic as the "three" (as she called the Blitz, Akuze, and Torfan), should have been enough to shake her, especially since she'd been hurt.

Before he could say anything else, she had moved past him and was on her way to the Embassy.

"Nice try there, Commander," Williams snickered.

"We're not together," Shepard hissed.

"With all due respect, Commander, it doesn't look like it," Alenko added.

"Why is it that whenever anyone says, 'with all due respect', they really mean 'kiss my ass'?" Williams mused.

"Maybe when you say it," Alenko retorted.

"Or everyone except you," Shepard finished. "You're too nice, Alenko."

"Yeah, well, what can I say? I'm a nice guy."

Corinthia whistled sharply. "You guys coming or what?"

Udina was just finishing his argument with the Councilors when they entered the Embassy. Anderson didn't even make an effort to stop them since the Captain rather wanted to piss off Udina.

"Without definitive proof of Saren's or the geth's presence on Eden Prime, the Council cannot act," Tevos, the asari, said curtly.

"This is a human problem," Councilor Sparatus, the turian, continued before Udina could interrupt.

"The salarians agree," Valern finished. "The geth have not been seen outside the Perseus Veil in centuries. They have no reason to act now."

"You were warned of colonizing the Traverse," Tevos added. "We can offer no protection for what has occurred. If Saren has indeed gone rogue, where is the proof? He is a Spectre."

"But — " Udina tried to start.

"The Council has already ordered an investigation into the matter. We will discuss C-Sec findings at the hearing and not before," Tevos finished harshly.

They cut the transmission before Udina could protest.

So, the Ambassador rounded on Shepard. "This is all your fault, Commander."

Shepard clenched a fist and, with great effort, swallowed his retort. He already hated the Ambassador.

Corinthia stepped forward. "Like hell it is, Udina."

Shepard didn't know if he wanted to applaud her or drag her back into ranks.

She opened her omni-tool and showed him a hologram of the beacon. "I recovered the majority of the data from the artifact. Unfortunately, my records of the events on Eden Prime were deleted, but if you want evidence of Saren being a bastard, look at this." She brushed aside her bangs to show him the wound. "It's not enough to be an act of war, but something's going on. Saren didn't even take the beacon. So far as we know, he just... used it."

Udina frowned and stared her down. "Comman — "

Corinthia gritted her teeth and ignored him. "Listen, Eden Prime was lost before we got there. We had no idea the geth were even around until we were twenty minutes out, and even then we didn't know what we were up against. Williams here barely made it out alive, not to mention myself. We were told our priority was the beacon. I got as much of it as I could, so what's the problem?"

"The problem is you haven't given me any proof," Udina snapped. "And why am I talking to you? You weren't in command of the mission."

"I was there. I'm the one that saw Saren."

"I suggest you stand down, Commander."

Corinthia opened her mouth to argue, but Shepard stepped in front of her. "So the Council chewed you out, but you don't have to take that out on her. We were surprised, like we were on Akuze. Things like this don't happen without a reason. It's obvious the Council doesn't care what actually happened down there. They think this is a human problem, so they want to keep it that way. Any pushing on our side will sound like war."

"That's a more neutral stance than I expected from you, Commander," Udina murmured.

"I know how politics work: they don't. I'm a soldier. We all are. We had our orders. We executed them. There were unknown elements that played in and it didn't turn out like we'd planned. So what? We have most of the beacon, thanks to Ci-Ci, so you should be thanking her because she just saved your ass."

"Care to explain, Commander."

"You're the politician. You figure it out." Shepard stomped outside.

Williams and Alenko exchanged glances before going out themselves. Corinthia remained behind.

"Something to add, Corinthia?" Udina hissed.

She took a deep breath. "This matter's about to be a diplomatic nightmare. I know C-Sec better than to think that they found a thing, but I promise you that Shepard and I will find something. We don't accept defeat."

"Just get out."

Corinthia did, releasing a slow breath. "So... I think I made that worse."

"It wasn't good to begin with," Shepard muttered.

Anderson joined them. "Ci-Ci, you could've shown a little more restraint in there."

"No need, sir. As if I need to be hesitant around a politician and pick my words."

"Udina's on our side. It may not be obvious, but he is," Anderson continued. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to punch that man myself."

"Yeah..." Corinthia ran her fingers through her hair. "So I guess we dressed up for nothing, huh?"

"Not quite. It's good news that you saved most of the beacon. That will help us immensely. And are you sure that you don't have any evidence of Saren's presence or him attacking you?"

"Positive. I triple checked. The Prothean data isn't... normal. It was hard coded for some other kind of... I don't know how to describe it." She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. "Anyway, getting something to translate it would be... well, illegal, but there are ways — I'll just be quiet now." She smiled innocently and stepped closer to Shepard.

Anderson raised an eyebrow. "Careful, Ci-Ci. This is important for humanity."

"Understood, sir."

"The hearing's in the Council Tower. Udina has already given you the proper clearance. We'll meet you there." Anderson saluted them and left.

Williams shook her head. "I hate politicians."

"Agreed," Shepard muttered.

"And we get to go deal with more," Corinthia added with sarcastic cheerfulness. "Yay! This is going to just as much fun as... uh... the Blitz. Let's go with the Blitz."

Shepard pulled Corinthia aside. "Think you can find out what C-Sec knows?"

"Between now and the hearing?" she asked. "Probably, but I wouldn't be able to figure out who's hiding what, either."

"Damn it..."

"Don't worry so much. It's not your fault and they know it. They're just annoyed with Udina."

"And you pissed him off, too."

"Less than you would've."

"It's just good to know that not everyone likes you."

"Huh? Why's that a good thing?"

Shepard gulped back his thoughts (which mostly had to do with perfection, as little sense as that made). "Forget I said anything. Let's go."

* * *

><p>The elevator ride to the top floor of the Council Tower was long. Worse, they were playing elevator music. At Shepard's glance, Corinthia put her omni-tool against the main panel, briefly switching the music to Mozart before shutting it off entirely.<p>

"I hate elevators," Williams muttered. "It's like being stuck in Purgatory."

Corinthia nodded and continued to fiddle around on her omni-tool. Unlike Shepard's relatively benign tick of cracking his knuckles, hers was developing programs to do irrelevant things (automatically turn on lights when she entered a room, open doors when she approached, make mechs dance to certain songs, etc.).

Corinthia's omni-tool beeped, buzzed, and started to fade out. Corinthia punched it and hit herself. She squeaked in pain and shook out her arm. "Stupid little… When I'm through…"

"Calm down," Shepard warned. "Getting frustrated with a piece of technology isn't going to help us out."

"I know, I know." She waved a hand dismissively and shut down her omni-tool. "There, it's put away. I was just checking again to see if I had footage of Saren and the geth and then I found… Oh, it's hopeless. I'm just going to have to start having three hardsuit computers."

The elevator doors opened with a pressurized hiss. The Council Chambers were large and vast, but felt dark despite the ample lighting and exotic plants from all the Council planets. A fountain bubbled before them. It was serene and presumptuous, just like the Council, and, to Shepard, looked completely fake. Like politics.

Corinthia took a deep breath. "Well, here we go… Again."

Williams raised her eyebrows. "Have you been here before?"

"Yeah," Corinthia answered. "It's been a while, but, yeah. Udina was using me as an example of human ingenuity, blah blah blah, in an attempt to get humanity a seat on the Council. He'd given me these lines to say about how much humanity had to offer and I botched them and said what I really thought: that humanity didn't deserve a place and hadn't added enough yet to galactic civilization."

"Uh, I'm pretty sure that's more than botched, Ci-Ci," Alenko said.

"No wonder why he was extra pissed at you," Shepard muttered.

Corinthia shrugged. "Well, it was the truth and I still think that it applies. Udina's got blind ambition and that isn't what humanity needs."

"So what do they need?" Alenko asked.

"Patience." Corinthia glanced up at the dais, where the three Councilors waited. "They may listen to me, since I'm not exactly human—Okay, that came out wrong. I'm not normal."

Williams snickered. "We already knew that."

Corinthia grinned. "Well, you'll see soon enough."

Just outside the elevator, two turians were arguing.

"Just give me some more time," one of them was saying. He had grey skin, blue eyes, and a blue stripe across his nose and cheekbones. "I can find the evidence I need."

"You've already had enough time," the other said. He had white facial tattoos similar to Nihlus's. "I've already presented your findings to the Council."

"But sir!"

"That will be all." The white-marked turian stalked off, leaving the other to growl angrily. He spotted Shepard and came over.

"Commander Shepard?" he asked. "Garrus Vakarian, C-Sec. I was in charge of the investigation into Saren."

"Heya, Garrus," Corinthia greeted, grinning.

"Ci-Ci?" Garrus asked. He chuckled. "I thought I recognized your style on Eden Prime, and then in a few other places."

Corinthia blushed faintly. "It was necessary..."

Shepard crossed his arms. "You told me you were too good to get caught."

"Oh, she is," Garrus asserted quickly. "But when certain turian detectives get information they need that they couldn't get access too without breaking two hundred and twenty-seven regs, it's either the Shadow Broker or her, and the Shadow Broker doesn't add little smiling symbols to his messages."

Corinthia's cheeks reddened even more. "Hey, well, I was mostly subtle, right?"

"Oh, no doubt about it," Garrus replied, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Just don't do it again, or I'll have to press charges. Take me twenty years to get the evidence to do it, but I would."

She hugged the turian affectionately. "Thanks. I owe you."

He patted her back awkwardly. "I know. I'll probably be cashing in on that before too long. Like how to get that bastard Saren."

"Was the intel useful, at least?"

"It convinced me, but it wasn't enough to convince him." Garrus jerked a thumb after the other turian. "Next time pretend to be a Shadow Broker agent. It'll go over better."

"But that would be lying."

"It would cover your tracks completely."

"Hey, you can't trace anything to me and you know it."

"I know. I tried, once. That song it led me to was terrible, even if it was catchy."

Corinthia grinned. "Ah, good ol' Rick Astley… Glad you liked it, Garrus."

Shepard looked at Corinthia. "I think you'd better start explaining why you had your arms around a turian," he growled jealously.

She released Garrus. "I've had a couple brushes with C-Sec for various reasons. Garrus is just about the only officer who tries to do the right thing."

Shepard raised an eyebrow, feeling a little insulted. "So why didn't you ask me for help?"

"Didn't want to get you involved." She patted his arm. "I'll ask you next time, okay?" she added softly. "This was before Torfan, so before we were… well, you know… I'll just ask you next time. Promise." She smiled reassuringly.

Shepard locked eyes menacingly with Garrus. The turian smirked. "Don't worry, Commander. I won't get in your way."

Alenko coughed. "Commander, the Council is waiting for us."

Garrus stepped aside. "Of course. It was good to meet you Commander, and good to see you again, Ci-Ci."

"You too, Garrus. I'll see you around, alright?"

Garrus left. Shepard grabbed Corinthia's arm. "What was that about?"

"He's an old friend. It wasn't about anything." She gulped. Shepard had entered intimidation mode and she didn't like it. "Why're you so worked up? Garrus is a friend. I have other ones besides you, you know. I just spend the most time with you. But, if you want, I'll tell you all about it later, I promise."

Shepard relaxed. He innately knew that he had just experienced jealousy, but he was more concerned with the fact that Corinthia had just shown affection to someone other than himself. Now, though, was not the time to dwell on it, so he dismissed his emotions. He had work to do.

The Council stood at the very end of the tower, up several sets of stairs and through nearly a hundred politicians. Captain Anderson waited just outside the Council's area.

"The hearing's already started," he told them impatiently. "Come on."

Shepard and Corinthia followed him immediately, Alenko and Williams a little farther behind. The Councilors stood on an isolated platform, separated from the rest of the room by a sunken garden. One of the balconies held a holo projector which showed Saren. He looked down at Shepard, Anderson, and Corinthia menacingly.

Udina was already at the petitioner station, arguing. He glared particularly viciously at Corinthia. Their argument earlier hadn't helped.

"The Council sees no evidence of treason," Sparatus said. "Though the geth have attacked, this is not a matter of current concern."

"What is, though, is that the beacon was destroyed," Valern continued.

"You have Commander Shepard to thank for that," Saren growled.

Shepard gritted his teeth. "I had no control over that! Don't shift the blame. Besides, Ci-Ci recovered most of the data from it. It isn't completely lost."

Saren laughed. "You really are Captain Anderson's protégé, putting the blame onto the innocent party."

"Saren killed Nihlus," Udina pressed. "We have an eyewitness."

"Nihlus was a fellow Spectre and a friend," Saren answered defensively. "Why should I?"

"The account of a frightened dock worker is hardly compelling evidence," Valern observed.

Udina tried to stop Corinthia, but she had already stepped forward. "He wasn't the only eyewitness."

The Councilors exchanged looks. "We saw no such statement," Tevos said.

Corinthia glared at Udina. "I only regained consciousness two hours ago and I haven't had time to complete one. Will you hear it now?"

The Councilors nodded.

Corinthia took a deep breath. "I was on the ground with Nihlus. I detected another turian present and Nihlus went to investigate. I watched as Saren shot Nihlus in the back. From there, I proceeded to secure the beacon. I thought that the geth were there to either take it or destroy it, so I downloaded the data onto my omni-tool." She held it up to show the Council. "Within moments of my starting that, Saren arrived. I took cover behind the beacon, began a download of the data, and he shot me in the temple." She showed them the wound. "I regained consciousness aboard the _Normandy_. There was no sign of brain damage, at least anything out of the ordinary."

Saren snorted. "You aren't going to believe this girl, are you? She's a poster child for humanity."

"She also stated that humanity was anything but ready for a seat on the Council," Sparatus said angrily.

"She has also served with the STG on various assignments, despite being a member of the Alliance, and excelled at one of our best schools here on the Citadel," Valern continued.

"No witness can have such a clear testimony after such mental trauma," Saren muttered.

"Her account is not proof enough," Tevos said. "Do you have any physical evidence?"

"Other than the data disk I made from the Prothean artifact, no," Corinthia replied sadly. "I'll gladly submit everything to the Council for analysis, as I had planned anyway considering what kinds of data I've got."

Udina wanted to hit Corinthia. She was supposed to give the data to him, not the Council.

The Councilors exchanged glances. The asari spoke. "The Council finds insufficient proof against Saren on the count of treason. Ambassador Udina, your petition is dismissed. Commander Corinthia, you are to accompany us."

Udina gritted his teeth and glared at Corinthia. "Now you've gone and done it."

Corinthia narrowed her eyes. "I haven't even gotten started." She turned to Shepard. "I'll catch up with you later. I'll see what I can do to help our cause, but I can't make any promises."

"Just don't do anything stupid," he said.

She winked. "Don't worry about me. I've got this."


	10. A Krogan, a Turian, and a Quarian

**_A/N 20 April 2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, an Update._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><p>

**4 May 2183—Council Chambers, Council Tower, Presidium, the Citadel, Widow Cluster, Serpent Nebula**

Corinthia swallowed hard. Facing down the Council alone was much more intimidating than she thought it was be. Then again, she didn't have a pissed off Shepard at her side to keep them in check, or something like that.

Anderson put his hand on her shoulder. "You did good, kid."

She smiled uneasily. "Yeah, sure."

Udina snorted. "Yes, well, let's see —"

"Lieutenant Commander Corinthia will be joining us alone," Valern said from behind them, making Corinthia jump — after all, who expects a Councilor to just ghost up behind them?

"As you wish, Councilor," Corinthia answered. She repressed the desire to stick her tongue out at Udina — and it was a very, very, very strong desire, at that — and followed the Salarian Councilor into a back room.

Like the Council Chambers, it was decorated in taupe, purple, and orange. Corinthia didn't understand the color combination; it made her feel sleepy and slightly nauseated. Even the dark green of the foliage from the potted plants just made her cringe. She needed bright colors or combinations or red and black. But not neutrals, or anything trying to be neutral... No. Just no.

"You took a great risk, speaking against your own ambassador," Sparatus began, his tone a mixture of smugness and bemusement.

Corinthia shrugged. "He's supposed to represent humanity. Me? I'm Alliance, but there's an entire galaxy, isn't there?" Before anyone could answer, she took out the data disc with the Prothean data. "So, yeah, here's this... stuff. It's all... garbled. I mean, I didn't look at it much other than the download, but it practically fried my hardsuit computer and omni-tool and everything, not to mention that it's hard to read Prothean — I mean, can anyone, really, with all of its... uh... I don't know."

Tevos took the disc and examined it. "Have you retained a copy for yourself."

"No, ma'am," Corinthia answered, grinning.

Valern stroked his chin. "Your testimony stated that you saw Nihlus murdered."

"Yeah..." She reddened a little.

"Are you positive it was Saren?"

"Nihlus acknowledged him by that name, let down his guard, and... well, I mean, there was one dead turian and one live one. I thought Saren looked familiar, but by the time he'd killed Nihlus, he was already attacking me and I had to run."

"We have already discussed this," Tevos muttered sternly.

Sparatus held up a hand. "Corinthia has too much inter-species experience for us to discredit her story immediately."

Tevos gestured to Corinthia's injuries. "And how can a soldier with a head injury provide adequate evidence?"

"What evidence did Saren provide to prove his innocence?" Corinthia interrupted before she knew what she was doing. "His good word? What else has he been up to? Don't you track your Spectres? I bet he's been in non-Council space quite a bit lately, probably sneaking into the Perseus Veil a couple times, too."

Sparatus remained silent. Valern advanced on Corinthia. "How would you know about that?"

"Uh... It was a guess," she answered honestly. "An educated one, from what I saw. The real question is... I mean, was he in contact with Collectors? I think the geth wouldn't just come out and attack Eden Prime without some kind of programming modification. Wait, maybe that's wrong, but why wouldn't they have come out sooner? None of this makes sense. We were just supposed to pick up the beacon, but find that it's under attack. If it was _just_ the geth, then why do they even need it? Protheans were organic. The geth are synthetic. They don't need the stuff that Prothean technology provides because their programming is — Well, I can't really vouch for that because the geth erased their memory cores before I could get anything from them, not to mention that the quarians are pretty closed-lipped about it and, even if I did find anything, it was lost when I recovered that data." She gestured to the disk, realizing too late that her talking was probably not a good thing.

Sparatus chuckled. "I see why Anderson described her as the brains behind Shepard's muscle."

"I'm the what? Seriously? That's not true. He's plenty smart, but he's a soldier first and I'm... Uh... Getting myself into trouble, I think."

Tevos frowned. "This would have been better presented in a report, Lieutenant Commander."

"Agreed, but after I woke up and the Doc ran her tests, Shepard was there to drag me off the _Normandy_ and to this session. My report also wouldn't have my theories about what was behind Eden Prime. But... may I ask something?"

"If you must."

Corinthia toyed with her fingers. "Do you even partially believe us and it's just that there isn't enough evidence?"

No one answered. Corinthia nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought... You, uh, don't need anything else from me, do you?"

"No," Tevos replied. "Dismissed, Lieutenant Commander."

Corinthia left.

Valern tapped his chin. "She has a point, even if it was inarticulately stated."

"We cannot act on two soldiers' word," Tevos snorted.

"But this is still humanity's issue," Sparatus finished. "Other than Nihlus and some video evidence of the geth, we had no evidence of any other species' involvement."

Valern shook his head. "What if the dig site had been elsewhere? In one of our colonies?"

"There is too much circumstantial evidence in this matter," Tevos snapped. "If they return with more evidence, we will review the case then."

"Agreed," Sparatus added.

Valern nodded. "As you wish. Now, to other business."

Despite their dismissal, a strange thought briefly entered their minds: what if they were wrong?

* * *

><p><strong>Market Wards, the Citadel<strong>

"So, Commander, come to the Citadel much?"

Shepard glanced at Williams, barely having heard her question. "What?"

"Have you been here before?"

"Once, about eighteen months ago." Shepard had used the Citadel as a jumping point when he went after a few Cerberus agents for Corinthia. "Didn't leave the docking area."

"Oh..."

Alenko nodded. That mission had been the first he'd worked with the Commander. It had been nothing short of brutal. Shepard seemed to have some kind of vendetta against the scientists they were ordered to recover. Of course, there had been twenty-five soldiers for every scientist they found, not to mention countless test subjects in various critical states of health. Needless to say, no one with the Cerberus insignia was alive at the end, but their data — research into some kind of mind control — was recovered by the Alliance. Even if it had been the goal of the mission, Alenko hadn't particularly enjoyed all the bloodshed. He'd even been brave enough to confront the Commander about it, but Shepard had just shrugged and answered, "You wouldn't understand, Alenko. Some people are just better off dead."

Alenko hadn't even wanted to understand that statement, but he did now. Some part of him, deep down, was itching to kill Saren. The turian had murdered Nihlus (who hadn't been around long enough for Alenko to like or dislike), shot Ci-Ci in the head, and brought the geth to Eden Prime. It was an act of war, but the Council was too stubborn to see it.

Williams looked out at the Citadel arm. It spread on and on, building after building receding from skyscraper to looking like a computer grid. "Were you shipping out?"

"Obviously," Shepard muttered. _Where the hell is Ci-Ci? It's been three hours._

"Mission? Leave?"

"What do you think, Chief?"

"Mission?"

Shepard rolled his eyes, not surprised that she lost everyone in her squad. "No, I was going to get a box of kittens for Admiral Hackett. His ship needed a morale boost and I'm the go-to guy for that."

Alenko snickered. "Yeah, I can see the recruiting posters now: 'Join the Alliance. We've got guns, ships, adventure, and kittens.' Big picture of you with one on your shoulder."

Even Shepard had to smirk. "Ci-Ci would have a heart-attack."

"Or the holo would have her jumping in and stealing the cat from you."

"Followed by a stupid chase..."

"And the Alliance interrupting with regs about how you guys aren't supposed to be friends."

"Fuck regs. I'd have her in a biotic field before they'd have to go that far."

"You know that'd just make her happier. She's been dying for you to throw her around a little. I did it to Jenkins once. Kid was ecstatic."

Williams kept opening her mouth to get into the conversation, but Shepard and Alenko were clearly friends (which, actually, wasn't true at all) and she didn't know what to say. Shepard intimidated her. She liked it — him — maybe. She couldn't be sure; she just met the guy.

"Point." Shepard rubbed his eyes. "You gonna do it to her?"

"Me? Nah. She's a friend, sure, but I'm not going to get her started down that road. She wouldn't stop until she found a way to give herself biotics using her omni-tool."

Shepard shivered. "Imagine if she was a biotic."

"Yeah, we'd all be dead, along with a few planets and probably most of the galaxy."

"She's managed to keep her destructive tendencies in check."

"She's only a few pokes away from evil, from what I can tell. Have you heard her laugh when she gets a head shot? Wait, of course you have."

Shepard nodded. That maniacal laugh of hers had never ceased to amaze and amuse him.

"Is it true that you've served every mission since the Skyllian Blitz with her?" Williams blurted.

"Weren't you just listening?" Shepard answered irately. "No, it's not. We both went to N7 at different times, she had different training things to do, and every so often the STG would use her for something."

"The salarians? Why would those amphibians want to use her?"

"Xenophobic, Chief?"

"Had family in the First Contact War. The turians and Williams aren't exactly friends."

"The galaxy isn't humanity's playground. We owe a lot to every species here."

"That doesn't make sense, coming from you."

Shepard narrowed his eyes. "What makes you say that?"

"I looked at your file. You've got a record that's... ridiculous, but your MO fits with not liking other species."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "What's your point?"

"I'm just saying that it's... surprising."

"Get used to it, Williams. I'm not my goddamn file." He waved a hand dismissively and slouched off.

Alenko shook his head. "Huh."

"What did I do?" Williams asked, confused.

"Not sure. He's probably worked up over Ci-Ci."

"Why? She's alive."

"Yeah, but she isn't here."

"What's with them, anyway?"

"Don't ask me. I'm having enough trouble trying to figure out if I like the guy or not."

"Didn't know you leaned that way, Lieutenant," Ashley snickered.

"I don't," Alenko replied. "I mean, I guess I could see that."

"Oh, come on, admit it! The man's sexy."

"I think this conversation's more of a reflection on _your_ feelings, Chief."

"The guy saved my life," Williams replied bluntly, not adding any more than that.

"And doesn't care that he did. I've worked with him a few times before, but this is the first time I've been on a ship with the guy. He never talked to anyone on missions except to give orders, even to Ci-Ci."

"Her I don't get."

"Ci-Ci?"

"Yeah. She's... Crazy. Weird. I don't like her."

"You haven't talked to her for very long, then. Everyone likes her."

"Maybe I'll be different," Williams muttered.

"Maybe you won't."

"Shouldn't we be following him?" Williams asked quickly.

"Why? If he needs us, he'll radio. Besides, it's not like we're going to get into a fight."

"You can say that, but I've got a feeling that he attracts trouble."

"If you mean that he keeps charging in after Ci-Ci, then, yeah."

"Again, what is it with them?"

"Figure it out for yourself, chief. I'm just glad Shepard didn't throttle me for joking about him with a kitten."

Williams snorted. "Well, I'm going after him."

"Yeah, okay. I'll be here." Alenko waved her off, eyes roving over the Market Ward.

Williams caught up with Shepard. He hadn't gone far, having chosen to sit on a bench and undo the top of his dress uniform. "Mind if I join you, Commander?"

"Whatever," he answered lowly, not particularly wanting the company.

Williams took a seat. "I never thanked you for saving me on Eden Prime."

Shepard didn't answer.

"Everything happened so quickly... I'm just glad you showed up when you did, skipper." She moved a little closer to him.

Shepard glanced at Williams. If he didn't know any better, she might have been trying to hit on him. If it had been Corinthia, she would've just been saying 'thanks' and moving on to something else. Shepard hadn't deal with a 'normal' woman in a long time — it was either the kinds of slut he met at bars or Corinthia.

"Fishing for sympathy, Chief?" he growled.

"No. I'm just saying thanks, sir," Williams answered quickly.

"Whatever," Shepard muttered wearily.

"Uh... Sir?"

Shepard glared at her. "Is there something else you wanted?"

"I... No, sir, there isn't." Williams got to her feet. She'd kinda hoped that Shepard might be more sociable, but he was making it more than obvious he didn't want her around.

Shepard's omni-tool beeped, which could only mean that Corinthia was attempting to contact him. He opened it. "What?" he asked irately.

"Finished!" she answered cheerfully.

"You get the Council on your side?"

"Nope."

"Fuck..."

"Anderson gave me some leads, though."

"He sent them to me, too. Haven't looked at them, though."

"Well, we can do that together, then, can't we?"

"Whatever. Anything else?"

"I found this REALLY cool upgrade for —"

"Ci-Ci, I don't care. We're in the Market Ward, by —"

"Flux, I know."

"That's... creepy."

"I can see you."

"You didn't hack my omni-tool, did you?"

"I'm in a taxi! It's landing now. Eesh, Shep, I'm not _that_ bad."

"I'd argue that."

She snorted. "Whatever. I'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

Shepard closed his omni-tool and scanned the area for the taxi stand. One of the doors opened and Corinthia clambered out, tripping on the way and squawking in surprise. After paying the driver, she waved at Shepard and practically skipped over to him.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen anyone skip in that uniform," Alenko mused, gesturing to her dress blues.

"Someone has to do it first," Corinthia answered. "Besides, it beats marching any day." She looked Shepard up and down. "You look... annoyed."

"Just figure that out?" he replied irately.

"It's the uniform, isn't it? Alright, let's get you into armor or something before you burst a blood vessel. I can see one throbbing at your temple."

"Ci-Ci..."

She was already behind him, pushing him towards C-Sec and the elevators to the _Normandy_.

Williams smirked and looked at Alenko. "Nothing going between them, eh?"

"That's what they say," the Lieutenant answered with a shrug. He didn't want to go down that road (again). He already had a bad feeling that he was going to be thrust into the middle of things, anyway.

Williams rolled her eyes. Though uncertain about how she felt about Shepard, since he brushed her off so coldly just before, she couldn't stand tension, especially romantic tension. How hard was it for people to just kiss and get it over with? Admittedly, Shepard had gone from being blindly determined to save her to severely annoyed that she'd gotten herself hurt to practically pissed at whatever she'd just done with the Council.

Shepard stepped to one side so that Corinthia wouldn't be pushing him any longer. She lost her balance and lurched forward. Much to her (and his) surprise, his arms encircled her waist and caught her. He righted her a couple heartbeats later than he should have, for acting on instinct.

"Thanks," she murmured, blushing furiously. "I've been super klutzy lately. I don't know why."

"Just don't trip during a mission. That would be bad," he muttered.

"You're in a foul mood."

"The Council just told us to go fuck ourselves. Of course I'm pissed," he replied lowly, looking around for prying eyes. They'd just walked into C-Sec. Shepard could feel the incompetence oozing out of every panel. He almost gagged at it. Worse, he had a bad feeling that he was going to be under surveillance to make sure that he wouldn't keep going after Saren. Not that a couple C-Sec grunts could stop him.

"Need to shoot something?" she offered helpfully. "I know a couple of places, with targets or the real thing. I'm pretty sure we could find a fight."

Shepard shook his head. "I need to sleep."

"You mean you haven't?"

"Not since Eden Prime."

"Wow... Why?"

"I had to write a damn report, that fucking nightmare, you were hurt... As if I would've had time."

Her lips twitched into a soft smile for a brief moment before she raised one arm into the air. "Alright! It's nap time. Off to the _Normandy_ with you. I'll get a start on Anderson's leads, alright? Get the grunt work done."

Shepard nodded gratefully and put his hand on her shoulder. "Thanks, Cassie."

"It's what I'm here for: keep your annoyance level down, moderate conversations, et cetera. Now, shoo! I'll keep Williams and Alenko with me, if you want."

"Whatever."

They all stepped into the elevators. Shepard looked around at them in confusion.

"Armor," Corinthia mouthed.

Shepard cocked his head to one side, not understanding.

"I'm not going to kick butts in this," Corinthia said, gesturing to her uniform.

Shepard rubbed his eyes. For once, he was glad that he wasn't going to have to deal with her for a few hours. He had a feeling that he'd go insane in an hour. He hadn't yet, but he was due for some kind of mental snap.

* * *

><p><strong>5 May 2183 — C-Sec Offices, the Citadel<strong>

Garrus shook his head wearily. This hunt for Saren was going to be the death of him. It wasn't that the Spectre wasn't guilty; every single sense Garrus had in his body was telling him that Saren was, but it was rather that Garrus couldn't prove it without breaking nearly a hundred laws. If only there was some way...

"You look like you've been banging your head against a wall for six hours," Corinthia said.

Garrus looked up. "Armor? That's a new one on you," he murmured.

"New? This is how I always am." She took a seat across from him. "So, any luck?"

"A little. Got a lead down in the Market Ward, but I don't think that anything will come of it. Just a frightened doctor who might have heard something about someone connected to Saren."

"You're getting desperate."

"Yeah, well, I don't go hacking Citadel records to find what I need." Garrus gave her a serious look. Even though the turian had a reputation for being a bit of a vigilante, he didn't break the law. If he did, how could he claim to uphold it?

"Well, there isn't anything there."

"You've looked?"

"Naturally."

"What am I going to do with you, Ci-Ci?"

"I dunno. Help me?"

Garrus crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "C-Sec would throw a fit. You Alliance types aren't the most welcome around here."

"Like I care. You want to get Saren as badly as I do, don't you?"

"Pretty damn badly," Garrus corrected.

"So help me. Please."

"What about your commander?"

Corinthia waved a hand in dismissal. "He's crashing. I mean, he's sleeping. Been through a couple rough patches in the last seventy-two hours, you know? Anyway, I'm in charge right now, so whaddya say?"

Garrus got to his feet and reached for his sniper rifle. "I know I'm going to regret this."

"No, you won't. Promise."

"That isn't reassuring."

Corinthia grinned. "Seriously, Garrus, I'm not _always_ bouncing off the ceilings."

"I'm surprised your salarian buddies haven't done tests on you to see how you defy gravity like that."

She laughed. "They did try. It failed miserably. Apparently my gravitational pull alters depending on my mood."

Garrus shook his head. "You've lost me there, Ci-Ci."

They stepped into the hallway, where Alenko and Williams were waiting.

"So?" Williams asked irately.

Corinthia clapped Garrus on the shoulder. "He's coming along."

Alenko held out his hand. "Good to have you with us, Officer Vakarian."

"Likewise. And just call me Garrus," Garrus answered, shaking hands. He held his out to Williams, but she snorted and turned her back to him. "What's with her?" Garrus murmured.

"Apparently she doesn't like turians," Alenko answered.

"Well, I'm a bad example of a turian, so hopefully she'll get over it."

"And hopefully Shepard will be alright with it." Alenko gave Corinthia a pointed look.

Corinthia smiled knowingly. For a moment, she not only looked her age, but also like she deserved her rank. "I'm good with a sniper rifle, but Garrus makes me look like an amateur."

"You can use a sniper rifle?" Garrus asked, surprised. "This is going to be more interesting than I thought. Then again, you've survived in the military this long. I thought it was because you rigged your reports."

Corinthia shrugged, going back to her immature self. "Eh, well, you'll never actually know what I actually did."

"Yeah, you're too careful for that. But you still admit to it." Garrus gave her a condescending look.

"Hey, at least I don't profit from it," Corinthia retorted, poking a finger into the turian's chest. "And it's not like I'm the only one good at it. There's the Shadow Broker, isn't there?"

"Don't remind me," Garrus muttered. "Now, are we going to go find that evidence against Saren or what?"

* * *

><p><strong>6 May 2183 — <em>SSV Normandy<em>**

Shepard started awake. He never, ever dreamed, but that damned beacon had pushed so many images into his head that he couldn't get rid of them. Shepard had never felt fear (aside from when Corinthia had been shot in the head), but this vision sent chills up his spine whenever he thought about it.

He clambered out of his sleeping pod and took a few deep breaths, but his heart was still racing. The easiest way for him to forget himself was just to go do something. Hopefully Corinthia had made some headway into getting evidence against Saren, although he didn't care if she had or not.

He opened his omni-tool to check his messages. Sure enough, Corinthia had left him a note:

_Chora's Den. Bring a gun. Coordinates included. — Ci-Ci_

It was only timed from a few minutes before, so Shepard moved quickly. Well, as quickly as his pounding head would let him.

Just as he walked out of the _Normandy'_s airlock, his omni-tool beeped again.

_Nevermind. — Ci-Ci_

He opened his radio to her. "What the hell?" he demanded.

She giggled. "_Sorry, Shep. It wasn't anything, really. I didn't even need a gun. Just thought I might need backup, but... Yeah, I didn't, not really. There wasn't even a fight. BUT I've got everything you need to know. I think. Maybe. Garrus is helping, though. Thought you should know_."

"Garrus? The turian?"

"_Yeah. I decided to get his help on this. I'm not a cop. Look, are you coming or not?_"

"I'm geared up, so why the hell not?" He wasn't about to tell her about his dream, even if she would want to know and would probably help him deal with it. "Where are you?"

"_Headed back to C-Sec to get chewed out. That's what Garrus thinks, at least. Anyway, I'll see you soon, okay, Shep?"_

"Yeah, got it."

Shepard closed his omni-tool and took a deep breath. In all the years he'd worked with Corinthia, she'd never gone ahead and done his job for him. Or, at least, whatever she'd just done. Then again, with the beacon echoing through his mind, he was grateful that she'd gone ahead and made his job easier.

C-Sec was five times more tense than it was when he'd left it. Shouts boomed through the hallways.

"I'm not leaving until I have Fist's head," someone growled, his voice too deep to be human.

"Do you want us to arrest you?" a C-Sec officer said, trying not to sound like he was pissing his pants.

The deep voice rumbled in laughter. "I want you to try!"

"Stand down, boys," Corinthia said cheerfully. "Do you really want to get into a fight with a krogan?"

Krogan were a species of warriors known to be brutally strong, vicious, and nearly impossible to kill. They had armored skin, a mountainous figure, and extraneous organs in case one was destroyed, shot, or stopped working. They looked something between a turtle and a dinosaur, with their heads sitting about two feet beneath a large, shell-like hump. Their mouths extended almost all the way around their face and were filled with sharp teeth.

Shepard moved towards the commotion. As he predicted, Corinthia was standing between a large, red-armored krogan and two human C-Sec officers. She looked tired, but she was staring down the C-Sec officers with more authority than he'd ever seen. Alenko, Williams, and Garrus leaned in the hallway, trying not to laugh. The krogan and humans glared at her angrily.

"Stay out of this, human," the krogan grunted, "unless you want to die, too."

"Listen, buddy, Fist can die and not many people will care, but murdering two C-Sec officers is going to get you stuck on a prison ship headed for the Terminus Systems before you can give a defense," Corinthia answered coolly. She grinned at Shepard. "Besides, I don't think that you're alone in your chase for Fist."

Shepard nodded. "So this is what you were up to, Ci-Ci?"

She shrugged. "Something like that." She turned to the C-Sec officers. "We're Alliance. We've got this."

"Fine, but any blood's on your hands," one officer muttered before taking his partner and leaving.

Corinthia turned to Shepard. "You _are_ going after Fist, right?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Who the fuck is Fist?"

"Oh, right. I never told you any of that, now did I? But, uh, do you want me to explain now or later?"

"Later. I've still got a headache." Shepard turned to the krogan. "Commander Shepard, Alliance military."

The krogan nodded. "Urdnot Wrex. I've heard of you. What you did on Torfan…" His long, crooked mouth cracked into a sadistic smile. "Brilliant. You've got guts, Shepard, I'll give you that."

"So who the hell is Fist?"

"Someone with a price on his head."

"He's got information that we need, though," Garrus interrupted.

"And who are you?" Wrex hissed, rounding the turian.

"Garrus Vakarian," Garrus replied, not backing down or looking intimidated in the least.

"Hmph. Turians. I've killed more than my fair share of your kind."

"That so?" Garrus answered coolly. "Funny. I never would've guessed it, looking at you."

Corinthia stepped between them. "Alright, boys, this macho junk can wait, I think. Besides, I'm pretty positive that I could kick both of your asses in the right situation."

Wrex laughed heartily. "That'd I'd pay to see!"

"Don't get her wrong, she just might," Garrus murmured. "She's pretty damn tricky when she wants to be."

Shepard pulled Corinthia away before she really did get into a fight. "Leave the men to this," he whispered in her ear.

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious? That's your answer to all this?"

Shepard smirked. "It's a macho competition. You're tough, kid, but that's not the word I'd pick for you. Now, will someone tell me what the hell is going on?"

Corinthia opened her mouth, but Alenko put his hand over it. "And if you explain, we'll be here for three hours," he warned.

Shepard nodded gratefully. "And I'll have another migraine. Go ahead, Alenko."

"Basically, we did a lot of running around and found out that Fist is a Shadow Broker agent who has a quarian with information about Saren."

Corinthia frowned, pouting. "You're no fun, Kaidan."

Shepard looked between Garrus and Wrex. "Are you two going to have problems?"

"So long as the turian stays out of my way and I get to kill Fist, no," Wrex answered.

"I've dealt with krogan before, Shepard, it won't be a problem," Garrus added. "But it might be too much to ask for us to shake hands and make up."

Williams snorted derisively and didn't bother hiding her look of disgust.

Shepard glanced around. Having six people on a squad seemed excessive, but four he could deal with. Besides, Williams was looking grouchy. "Williams, get back to the _Normandy_. Alenko, you too. You've both done enough for now."

Alenko saluted. "Aye, aye, sir."

Williams saluted as well, though not as smartly, and trudged off after him.

Corinthia yawned loudly. "So I'm still up?" she asked.

"Yeah," Shepard answered. "I might end up killing Fist too soon otherwise."

"Hate to say that you have a point, but you do."

Shepard rubbed his neck. Everything was changing more quickly than he liked. They were shipping out on the _Normandy_ less than a week ago, and already he was allying with turians, krogan, and probably a quarian. The Alliance would throw a fit, but Shepard had a bad feeling he was going to need a better team than himself and Corinthia teamed up with a few other bodies. Then again, Corinthia could convince the Alliance of anything, which was good because Shepard was pretty sure he was going to like Wrex and Garrus.

"Where is Fist?" Shepard demanded of Corinthia.

"Chora's Den," she answered.

"Isn't that where you asked me to go before?"

She blushed. "Yeah. For something else, though."

"Damn it. Have you just been wasting time?"

Corinthia laughed. "Nope. I made about five thousand credits, learned some stuff about the Keepers, and saved a couple people's butts, so I haven't been wasting time. Got hit on, too. Urgh. Not cool."

Shepard blinked. "You... what? Who the fuck would do that?"

"Harkin. Asshole. He's the one that put me on to Fist and all that stuff."

Garrus nodded. "He used to be C-Sec. A bastard if ever I met one. Drunk on the job, all that kind of thing."

"Remind me to punch him if I see him," Shepard growled.

"Why?" Corinthia asked, curious. "He wasn't that bad. Smelly, and Chora's Den was just awkward to be in with all the strippers, but he's just an idiot."

"All the more reason to hit him," Shepard finished. In actuality, he was angry that someone else would dare hit on Corinthia. She was his — Wait, she wasn't. What the hell was he thinking? This damned obsession of his was going to get him killed if he didn't keep it in check.

"What do you want with Fist?" he asked Wrex.

"His head," the krogan replied cruelly.

"I can't let you do that."

"Do you really think you can stop me?"

"I need him alive."

"What for? To find that damned quarian?"

"Apparently."

"Why?"

Shepard glanced at Corinthia. He hated being in the dark, but he could see Corinthia getting ready to give him a report on everything that had happened. "That's my business."

Wrex shrugged. "Then we don't have any business."

Corinthia stepped in. "We're looking for evidence against Saren Arterius. He murdered a Spectre, almost killed me, annihilated a defenseless colony, and destroyed a Prothean artifact. I understand that you probably don't care, but it's a big deal for Shep and me. So, how about this: we get what we need from Fist and then you can kill him."

Wrex stared her down. "You've got a lot of nerve." He smiled crookedly. "I like that."

She winked. "Part of the job."

"So you're smart. Good. I think I'll help you, Shepard, so long as your bring her along." Wrex gestured to Corinthia.

Shepard shook the krogan's hand. "Welcome aboard, Wrex. Ready to kick some ass?"

"Hell, yeah." Wrex took out his shotgun.

Garrus rubbed his eyes. "Maybe I'll be better off in C-Sec..."

Corinthia snickered. "C'mon, Gary, you know that you won't. Besides, we don't have red tape."

"Point," Garrus murmured. "Guess it's you and me keeping those two in check, huh?"

"Nah. We'll just compare kill tallies."

"What're the stakes?"

"Uhm, I don't know. Why don't you think of them?"

"Fine. A bottle of the best stuff you can find that we can both drink."

"I don't really drink, but you're on." She shook Garrus's hand.

"Ci-Ci! No trouble back there!" Shepard snapped.

"Sorry, Shep," she answered bashfully.

Garrus sighed. "It's going to be a long mission, isn't it?"

* * *

><p><strong>Fist's Private Offices, Chora's Den, Market Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Fist cowered in the remains of his office, staring down the barrel of Wrex's shotgun. The broken Shadow Broker agent swallowed hard. Of all the ways he'd imagined he would die, he never thought that it would be at the hands of a krogan, a turian, a Valkyrie, and the Devil himself.

Shepard grabbed Fist by the throat and shoved him against the wall. "You have information on Saren. I want it."

Fist gulped. He had shifty eyes, spiked blonde hair, and a general weasely look about him. He tried to look tough. "You aren't getting anything from me."

Corinthia took out her pistol. She didn't like Shepard's tactics, but Fist was about ready to piss himself and a little more scaring wasn't going to hurt. "Is that so? I can be pretty persuasive."

"Well, get rid of that armor and we might have a deal."

Shepard tightened his grip and almost broke Fist's neck. The man sputtered and gasped. Garrus leaned against the wall, his assault rifle out and casually pointed at Fist.

Wrex leaned in. "You'd better start talking, human," he whispered, "or else your death isn't going to be quick."

Fist's face was turning purple. He clawed at Shepard's hand in a vain attempt to escape. Corinthia subtly touched the back of Shepard's neck, just over his tattoo. It was her signal that he was going too far.

He relaxed his grip a little and put his nose to Fist's. "I'm going to start with your feet and then move to your knees. Your fingers are going to be next, then your elbows, and shoulders. I'll cut off your ears and nose. I'll stop when you start talking."

Fist gulped. Shepard hadn't been specific about _what_ he was going to do, but Fist could imagine. He looked at Corinthia. "Please… Don't let him…"

She crossed her arms. "Then talk."

"There was a quarian… a girl. She's got the information you need."

"There are a lot of quarians here," Garrus growled.

"I don't know her name, she wouldn't give it," Fist said quickly. "I sent her to the Shadow Broker. She would only deal with him herself."

Corinthia narrowed her eyes. "And you sent her right into a trap, didn't you?"

"I had orders! Please, don't let him kill me…"

"Where?" Shepard demanded.

"In the passages, between here and the markets. You may be too late."

Shepard dropped Fist. "I'm letting you keep your life."

Wrex raised his shotgun. "But I'm not."

Corinthia pulled Fist out of Wrex's line of fire. "Let him live. He won't ever work again. That's worse than death. Besides, it's not worth killing a coward."

Wrex glared at Corinthia. "What about my money?"

"I'll deal with that."

Wrex holstered his weapon. "Fine, but you owe me."

Fist hugged Corinthia's knees. "Thank you!"

Shepard pulled him off. "Touch her again and I will kill you, so slowly and painfully that you'll regret being born. Got that?"

Fist nodded and retreated.

Shepard and Wrex went to the door. "Looks like they got reinforcements," Wrex muttered.

Shepard nodded. "Ci-Ci, let's go."

"Hang on!" she answered. She went through Fist's desk, opening her omni-tool. "Just gimme a sec."

Garrus shook his head. "We don't have time for this! That quarian may already be dead."

"Hold them off," Shepard ordered. "Ci-Ci, you'd better make this fast."

The krogan grinned. "Good. More for me."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm working on it," she answered irately, deftly hacking into his computer.

"CASSIE!"

"Fine! I'm done!"

* * *

><p><strong>Market Ward Passage, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya stood in the dingy corridor nervously. As a quarian, she was looked down upon. Her people were thought to be weak, like their nearly paralyzed immune systems, since they had to wear an envirosuit at all times or suffer severe allergic reactions and infections. Despite all this, she was a master technician and could patch or fix anything.

She had a recording of Saren, speaking to an unknown woman, regarding the attack on Eden Prime. She'd somehow managed to recover it from a geth body before the memory core wiped itself. The information had to be worth something to a secret-dealer like the Shadow Broker. Tali was only interested in the money so that she could complete her Pilgrimage (the endeavor every quarian undertook to find something—anything—useful for their fleet of ships, the Flotilla, that had become their home ever since the geth had taken over their home world).

A turian and two salarian mercenaries flanked her. Tali didn't trust them. "What's taking so long?" she asked, her accent similar to that of a Russian from Earth. "Where's the Shadow Broker? Where's Fist?"

The turian stroked her cheek — or the part of her helmet that equated to the same thing. "He'll be here soon, don't worry."

Tali slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me. The deal's off."

The turian took out his gun. "I don't think so."

Tali thought quickly. She dropped a flash grenade and ran. Before she knew what else had happened, the salarians and the turian were on the ground, bullet holes in their helmets. Tali looked around, confused.

Corinthia looked up from her sniper rifle. "Okay, people are dead."

Shepard stepped towards Tali. "Are you the one with information on Saren?"

Tali nodded fearfully, eyeing Wrex and Garrus.

Corinthia joined Shepard. "Shep, you may want to smile," she whispered.

He glared at her. Corinthia rolled her eyes and smiled kindly. "I'm Ci-Ci. These three badasses are Shepard, Wrex, and Garrus. Fist is… well, indisposed."

"I'm Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," Tali answered. "Fist set me up."

Corinthia nodded. "Yep, and now he can't do it again."

Shepard holstered his weapon and let Corinthia do the talking. When he was angry, he tended to be heartless, cruel, and demanding. Corinthia could smile her way into anyone's heart, and therefore the better negotiator for this situation. Well, almost any situation that didn't already involve guns.

Tali sighed, relieved. "Thanks. You said something about Saren?"

Shepard nodded.

Tali took out her omni-tool. "This is what I was going to the Shadow Broker about. I stumbled across this message while examining geth remains." She started it.

"_Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit,_" Saren's voice echoed.

"_And one step closer to the return of the Reapers,_" a woman said.

Corinthia narrowed her eyes. "This can't be good…"

Tali shrugged. "I wish I could have gotten more, but the geth's memory banks were wiped clean. They're designed to self-destruct. I was lucky to have gotten this much."

"Yeah, definitely. I couldn't get a good scan of the geth at all, let alone this. Good job, Tali'Zorah."

"Just call me Tali."

Shepard crossed his arms. "So now we have evidence. We can go see Udina."

Corinthia shuddered. "I'm not looking forward to that. The man hates me."

"Your own damn fault."

"I know, but still..."

"Then I'll deal with him and you can go pout on the _Normandy_."

"Like hell I am! I'm up for the Spectres, too, you know."

"I'll have to write a report on this, find an excuse for why we sacked Fist's place," Garrus mused. "Don't worry, though, I won't get you into trouble. If you need me, I'll be in C-Sec, doing paperwork…" He groaned.

"Like hell I'm going before the Council," Wrex muttered. "I'll be keeping an eye on the turian if you need me, Shepard."

Tali looked at Corinthia. "And what about me?"

"Give me that recording and go with Garrus. We'll call you when we need you," Shepard answered.

Tali looked uncertainly at Corinthia, who nodded and grinned. "Garrus will watch over you, don't worry. He's not a real turian."

"Hey, I resent that," Garrus protested. "Come on, Tali."

"I'm not staying here, either," Wrex growled. "I've got to explain why Fist isn't dead."

Corinthia blushed a little. "Sorry."

"No you're not," the krogan replied darkly.

Tali nodded. "Thanks again." She did as Shepard asked and left with Garrus and Wrex.

Corinthia sighed. "So, where to now, oh, fearless leader?"

Shepard shrugged. "Not here."

"I know just the place."

She led him to a scenic overlook. Tall windows provided a view of the rest of the Ward. Buildings hundreds of stories tall faded into grid-like patterns. The Serpent Nebula shone pink, orange, and purple around the distant stars.

She leaned on the balcony, hoping that she could relax, but she couldn't. She didn't have very many good memories of the Citadel, and this view reminded her of the worst of them all. Shepard stood next to her, more tense than usual, and didn't seem to be enjoying it.

"You okay?" she asked softly.

"We should be going after Saren, not… dawdling," he answered gruffly.

She squeezed his hand. "We're stuck in politics right now. It's going to take time. At least we'll get him cut from the Spectres, right?"

Shepard nodded, not really listening. He was imagining what would happen if Saren wasn't disbarred; it didn't look good. Shepard would probably be reassigned, and then what?

"Thanks, John," Corinthia said suddenly. "You know you didn't have to do that."

"Do what?"

"Well, you know… defend me to Fist." She stared at her hands. "I'm not used to it. All the soldiers usually mess with me like that, just because I'm a girl. You never have. It's… nice. Sweet, which doesn't seem like you at all—not that I don't like it, or you, because I do… I mean… I would, even if you weren't because you're amazing as you are already… I'm just digging myself a grave, aren't I?" She blushed and looked away. "But… Thanks."

Shepard's heart raced. This was the first time she'd hinted at caring about him, at least that he'd noticed. But he wasn't going to read anything into it. He couldn't afford to. They had to get Saren first and she'd still be there whenever that was done, just like she always was. Maybe by then he would have his own feelings figured out.

For the moment, though, he knew that he wanted to be close to her, regardless of what she thought about him, would mean to her, or would mean to him.

He put his arm around her shoulders. "I'm here for you. You know that, right?"

"I know." She smiled. "I'll help you out, too, if you need it."

"You already have. Just do me a favor."

"What?"

He took a deep breath. "Don't stop keeping me in check. I would've killed Fist if you hadn't intervened."

"Haven't I been already?" She winked. "The moment you toe the moral line, I shall come forth as your conscience."

"Just don't get too distracted."

"No promise there. Hey, look, a chicken!" She fell silent and turned back to the scene. Shepard didn't have to see her to know that her smile was gone and that she was, in fact, thinking about something without being ready to make light of it. So, he didn't drop his arm from her shoulders.

"I was born here," she started softly after a moment. "I was here when I found out Mom was killed. I mean, I actually found out later, really, but this was where Dad found out, I guess you could say, and I should've figured it out. He and I were visiting schools. We were supposed to meet her here, but instead two men in dress blues came up and handed my dad a datapad. I didn't know what it meant and Dad didn't say anything. He just went silent and dragged me to a transport." She stared at the ground, other images came creeping in, none of them good. "He never said a word to me, didn't answer my questions. Made me put on all black one day and go to Arlington. Then I saw the casket with her name on the plate. I thought it was a mistake, but it wasn't. I got away from Dad for long enough to open it and see... her..." Corinthia took a deep breath, cringing at the memory. "I still have nightmares about what had happened to her."

Shepard had never really heard her talk about her mother, other than that she was killed in action. He knew about the incident on the _SSV Geneva_, but only because it had been used as an example during his N7 training. Well, that and he'd hunted down the Cerberus agents that were linked to the attack. The Alliance still wasn't happy about it, although they'd pushed up his promotion schedule a little bit afterwards.

He squeezed Corinthia's shoulder. It was really the only thing he could do. He'd never lost anything he cared about — although he'd just come close, but that wasn't the same — and Corinthia was never like this. He wanted her to smile again because she was making him feel guilty for not being able to save her mother, even though he'd been stuck in the Reds and was just learning to shoot a gun.

"Cassie, you don't have to tell me this," he murmured.

She shook her head. The story was coming out, now, and she couldn't stop it. "Dad never said a word, wouldn't look at me, wouldn't let me cry, wouldn't hug me, wouldn't do anything. Marines dragged me away from the funeral I was screaming so loudly and put me in a car. I pounded the glass, but no one let me out. I was on a ship within half an hour of the funeral ending and headed back here for school." She took a shuddering breath. "This place has a lot of the wrong kinds of memories."

He pulled her into a hug, not really knowing what else to do. He was terrible at comforting people, especially in words. She was great at it. Even though he'd seen her emotionally fragile before, it always seemed strange and just… wrong when she broke down like this. Nothing about her seemed strong or brave, but she was, probably more so than anyone he knew. For a brief moment, he thought about kissing her, but the thought left as quickly as it came. She didn't need that, nor did he. She just needed someone to be there. It was only fair, since she was always there for him. He didn't cry or break down, but she'd still been there through everything.

"Shep?" Corinthia asked.

"Yes?"

"You should be sweet like this more often." She briefly leaned her head on his chest. "But you don't have to stop being badass. That's nice, too." She smiled. He could feel her heart racing, or was it his own? She didn't give him time to find out. "Ooh, is that the new omni-tool upgrade? I'll be right back." She darted off to examine the stall.

Yep, it had been his heart. Forcing that down was going to be much more difficult, but he'd manage. He caught her before she got too far.

"No, you don't need any new toys," he told her darkly.

"But it's got the new interface that—"

He clamped a hand over her mouth. "No, Ci-Ci. If you want it that badly, build your own."

She licked his palm, making him move his hand so that she could say, "But mine'll be bogged down with translating the beacon. I'll need another one."

He wiped his hand on her armor. "No."

"Then can I use yours?"

"No," Shepard answered sternly. "No. The last time you linked our tools you started that Hammer Dance business and messed it up so badly I couldn't use it for three months!"

"I changed the interface to make it more efficient! That's not messing it up at all."

"You could've told me," he muttered darkly. "The answer is, 'no.' God, why are you such a child?"

"Because I'm not an adult?" she answered. She was twenty-three and a half and didn't consider anyone adult until they were thirty. Shepard, on the other hand, had just turned twenty-nine and firmly believed that he had been adult since he'd turned fifteen.

"You are one and you know it, so stop acting like you aren't," he growled. "You were almost crying three minutes ago."

Corinthia stopped struggling. "It won't help if I tell you that it's my defense mechanism, will it?"

"No, it won't, because I already knew it."

"Okay, okay, I won't get a new omni-tool." She glowered like a child deprived of candy.

Shepard always felt a little guilty when he made her pout, even when he had good reason to. "Do you have anything else to do while we're here?"

She brightened. "Oh, yeah! I can hack Udina's computer while we're talking to him and make it play this terrible song from the 1980s by this guy named Rick Astley…"

"Great. Now I'll have to get enough into his good graces for the both of us."


	11. Spectre

**_A/N 4/24/2012: _**_Thanks, as per usual, to GoogleFloobs for the theta! Check out his story!_

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>6 May 2183—Human Embassy, the Presidium, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Udina turned off the recording of Saren and looked between Corinthia and Shepard.

"Well, it seems that you both have come through," he muttered, glaring in particular at Corinthia.

In an almost unprecedented act of self-control in regards to Udina, Corinthia didn't retort snippily. Instead, she nodded soberly. "You were just doing your job, defending us to the Council and all that. The least we can do is come through, right? You put our names in for Spectres, too, so it's only fair that we live up to it."

Udina understood a politician's apology when he heard one, though he'd expected Corinthia to just come out and say 'sorry' like a normal person — well, as normal as Corinthia was capable of being.

"I wasn't finished," Udina continued. "Do you think it will be enough?" He looked pointed at Shepard.

"If it isn't, there isn't much anyone can do to stop me from hunting that bastard down," Shepard growled. His eyes flicked to Corinthia. In all honesty, Shepard wanted revenge. Saren had tried to take something away from Shepard, and the Commander didn't tolerate people insulting that which was precious to him. Unsure of his feelings for her or not, Shepard valued her friendship more than anything else in the galaxy, and he was not going to lose that because some turian thought he could play God and get away with it. Eden Prime being attacked had next to nothing to do with Shepard's inner fire — colonies had been attacked before and they would be again — but there was only one Corinthia in the galaxy and he wasn't going to lose her.

"Don't do anything rash, Commander," Udina warned. "Right now, you are the face of all humanity."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"The Council isn't going to make you both Spectres," Udina continued, giving Corinthia another pointed look. "You and I both know that Corinthia isn't up to the task."

Shepard caught her arm before she could surge forward and protest. "She is capable, but she's not what the Council's looking for," Shepard answered, not looking at her. He knew he'd get screamed at later for saying it, but she'd also hug him and forgive him within two minutes.

"If you say so. The fact is that humanity needs someone like you, Commander. This recording of Saren is proof, and I'll be damned if it isn't enough. I have enough to worry about without dealing with your squabbles with turians. I've already put my neck out for you."

"You think I don't know that?" Shepard retorted. "Why the hell do you think we spent the last forty-eight hours hunting this shitty recording down? I'm not letting that bastard get away with this. Humans are dead, the geth are loose, and who knows what the f — hell will happen next. Humanity's being threatened, and I don't take that lightly."

Corinthia blinked. Part of her had always intuitively known that Shepard could be charismatic when he wanted to be, but to give a speech like that to a politician? It didn't seem like him, but it sounded like he actually meant it, even about humanity. Despite all of his shortcomings, one thing that he had never been was xenophobic, at least that Corinthia had seen, but he'd never been particularly pro-humanity either. She knew that he envied the asari's biotic abilities and the turian's military, but to hear him defend humanity like they were truly the pinnacle of civilization was strange to her ears. She didn't mind, although she didn't agree, but if Shepard could get on Udina's good side, more power to him.

Of course, she was wrong. Shepard was lying through his teeth. The deaths on Eden Prime hadn't bothered him, nor had he done anything to hunt down that recording than show up when Corinthia had called him. Humanity mattered to him, in the sense that they were his species and were capable of handling a higher stake in the galaxy, but he'd never felt like he'd had to go defend them. He'd joined the Alliance to escape the Reds, stayed because killing was the only thing he was good at, and now he remained because he didn't see any other options for him. The chance to become a Spectre was his first opportunity to have a different life. He didn't mind going from battle to battle, although there was a small part of him that relished just taking a moment to go out and relax, especially with Corinthia — although the latter was a given, considering that she was really his closest and only friend. If getting Saren meant that he could have more freedom, Shepard would say whatever it took.

"Look, Saren's a menace," Shepard continued. "Right now, it's to humanity, so that means that the Alliance is going to have to do something about it and it'll be easier if I'm a Spectre. You know my record. I get rid of menaces."

"Why do you think we chose you?" Udina replied, smirking.

"Can I ask why you chose me, then?" Corinthia asked. She clamped her lips shut the second the words escaped her mouth.

"Because you seemed to be less of a loose cannon," Udina sneered, "but it seems that we need one of those right now."

"Oh." Corinthia tried not to look downcast, but she had already suspected that she wasn't going to make the cut. She wasn't Shepard, after all.

Anderson came in. "Sorry I'm late. Admiral Hackett wanted an update."

Udina got to his feet. "So long as we aren't late to meet with the Council, I don't care. Let's go." He walked out the door.

Anderson looked at Shepard and Corinthia. "Did you get what you needed?"

"Obviously, sir," Shepard growled.

"That's good to hear." Anderson gestured that they should walk with him. "Are you ready for this?"

Shepard nodded. "If you mean to be a Spectre, then yes."

Corinthia shrugged. "How different will it be?"

"All of humanity is looking to you both right now," Anderson continued. "Admiral Hackett has high expectations."

Corinthia rubbed her arm uncomfortably. She's never liked being in the spotlight, but now it seemed that she couldn't avoid it.

"Udina said as much, sir," Shepard answered. "Let's just get this over with. We can figure out how we'll hunt down Saren after."

* * *

><p><strong>The Council Chambers<strong>

Shepard hated speeches, especially when they were pretentious. Sure, the Council had good reason to be telling him the importance of a Spectre's duties and all that, but Shepard could only think of how he was going to use his new-found power to get back at Saren.

Next to him, he could practically feel Corinthia's heart sink. Shepard was the one getting the Spectre speech. If they'd wanted her, they would've waited and given it to them both. If they weren't standing in front of the Council, Shepard would've touched her arm or hand to let her know that things were going to be better this way.

Spectre. It felt good to have the word attached to him. He was a Spectre. He could do whatever the hell he wanted and no one would be able to stop him, not even the Council. Admittedly, pissing off the Council wasn't the best idea, but it was fun and he was pretty damn sure they deserved it.

Still, something wasn't right. Becoming a Spectre had been too easy. The Council had barely heard the recording before they declared Saren a traitor, identified the woman's voice as some asari named Benezia, and made Shepard a Spectre. They hadn't even looked at Corinthia or acknowledged her presence, even though she'd been the one to do almost all the work to get the recording in the first place. With that said, Shepard was positive that there was more to what was going on that he knew. The way Benezia had said the word "Reapers" had sent chills up his spine. Whatever a Reaper was, it wasn't good and it was something that needed to be destroyed. Shepard was good at that kind of thing.

"Commander Shepard, you have your mission," the asari Councilor finished. "I suggest you go about it."

Shepard nodded. "I'm sure as hell not going to stay here and wait for you to change your minds."

"We'll have to arrange a ship and crew for the Commander," Udina said. "Anderson, you come with me."

Anderson nodded and saluted Shepard. "Congratulations, Commander."

Shepard saluted back. "Thank you, sir."

"Corinthia," Anderson added, leaving with Udina.

Corinthia took a deep breath. "Well... Good job, Shep," she murmured, trying not to sound like she was pouting. "Looks like we won, right?"

Shepard had started out with the assumption that she wouldn't make the Spectres, but to hear her actually react to it made him realize that he probably should've at least given her a bigger vote of confidence in front of Udina. She was good, but good enough to be a Spectre? His eyes traced over her scars and to her omni-tool arm. She's survived everything that he had, coming out even more battered than he had. She'd hacked into Prothean technology and recovered the beacon's data, even if it was indecipherable. She could get into and out of any computer system and no one would ever know. She'd served with the STG. And Shepard? He was just good at killing things.

Again, he'd fucked up. Badly. The Council was already gone and it was just him and Corinthia, not to mention the gawking politicians staring at the first human Spectre.

"We'll have to get Saren first," Shepard answered lowly. "Then you can do all the victory dances you want."

"And I was about to start one up for you..." She shrugged. "So, what now?"

He thought for a moment. He wanted to celebrate, certainly, since he'd just had a dream come true, but also to do something nice for Corinthia. Granted, that usually involved buying her drinks that she never touched, but he'd think of something. A new omni-tool upgrade or sniper sight. Not only that, but something didn't feel right. He couldn't place it, but he needed to talk to her where they couldn't be overheard by the Alliance or Council.

Shepard grabbed Corinthia's arm. "Come on, Ci-Ci. Let's go."

"Where are we going?" she asked as he practically dragged her away.

"To get a drink," Shepard growled. He wanted one and she needed one.

She pointed towards the Council. "But… we should be going after Saren, right?"

"Just shut up and come with me, okay?"

"That's what she said…?" she asked, not sure it was an appropriate moment for the phrase.

"Not now."

In almost any other situation, Corinthia would have continued, but she stopped. "Okay. Sorry."

He didn't look at all happy about being a Spectre, although he never really did look happy, except for a couple times when he'd been falling-down drunk. She could only assume that they were going to celebrate that he was now a Spectre. Her stomach sank a little as she wondered if Shepard would keep his promise and stay away from the women that would most certainly be wherever they were going. Corinthia didn't know if she could deal with him doing that again.

They continued in silence, Shepard only loosing his grip on her arm when he realized that two people in Alliance dress uniform — not to mention different ranks marked on their shoulders — probably shouldn't have been holding hands. Corinthia only said something to inform him that they may want to go out in their casual blues or civies, which he silently agreed to.

When the boarded the _Normandy,_ Alenko and Joker were waiting for them.

Alenko saluted. "Congratulations, sir."

"At ease, Alenko. You heard already?" Shepard asked.

"Anderson radioed it in. It's already all over the news. It's a big deal to be a Spectre, sir."

Shepard rubbed his eyes. "Great. Now I'm going to start getting fan mail."

"And that's going to be a bad thing, sir?"

Shepard's eyes flicked to Corinthia.

Alenko nodded. "Oh, I see. Well, Ci-Ci can put up any kind of filter you want, you know." Alenko had suspected for a while that Shepard liked Corinthia, but the trick would be getting the Commander to say anything about it. Corinthia had as much as admitted to liking Shepard during his birthday party, but Alenko wasn't going to go behind a friend's back to ease a bit of romantic tension, especially when it was someone like Shepard that was involved.

"Yeah, I know," Shepard answered.

"So, can we go kick Saren's ass now, Commander?" Joker asked.

"As soon as I find out what ship I'm getting," Shepard replied.

"Aw, c'mon. We all know that you're going to get the _Normandy."_ Joker gave Corinthia a pointed look. "Right, Ci-Ci?"

"Hey, don't look at me," she answered, stepping towards the crew quarters. "It's not like I'm capable of hacking into Alliance Command and altering orders and assignments on a regular basis to make sure that we'll have the best of the best around."

"Uh huh. We all know you've done it."

"No one's been able to prove anything, either, Flight Lieutenant, so I'd keep your mouth shut or else I'll replace you with the second best pilot in the Navy."

Alenko laughed, although Joker grumbled, "Like hell you'd do that. You need me here. No one else can fly my baby."

Corinthia didn't hear, as she was already past the Galaxy Map.

"I'll let her know, Joker," Shepard finished, following Corinthia. The _Normandy _wasn't his, but he wanted her. Navy or not, Shepard wasn't a big fan of cruisers or big ships, but the _Normandy_ was perfect for him: unique, fast, quiet, and the best the fleet had to offer.

A few minutes later, Shepard and Corinthia were in more relaxed clothing and heading to the nearest bar, Flux. Corinthia still looked downcast, although Shepard suspected that it was partially because she didn't really want to go drinking. On a whim, she'd invited Alenko and Williams to join them, but they'd both declined — Alenko out of respect and Williams out of annoyance.

Flux was throbbing with life. Shepard could feel the music echoing in his chest like a second heartbeat. The bartender, a human woman in her mid-twenties, waved enthusiastically at Corinthia.

"Thank you so much for getting Jenna out, Lieutenant Commander!" she blurted. "Jenna's upstairs right now, but it's already so much better. Drinks are on the house for you and your date tonight."

Corinthia laughed. "This isn't my date. He's just my friend. Shepard, this is Rita. Garrus and I got her sister out of a jam earlier."

Shepard nodded. "Bourbon on the rocks. No water and a tall glass."

Rita smiled and looked expectantly at Corinthia.

"Uh... Surprise me, but no tequila," Corinthia ordered.

"So what, exactly, did you do while I was sleeping?" Shepard demanded as soon as Rita was working on their drinks.

"Helped out a few people, talked to a Shadow Broker agent, met the Consort, saved a doctor from an attack, talked to a hanar about the Enkindlers, scanned a lot of Keepers —"

"I get it," Shepard muttered. "A lot of useless bullshit."

Corinthia shook her head. "No, not useless. Allies are always nice to have, aren't they?"

"Whatever." He accepted his drink from Rita and took a large gulp.

"What's wrong?" Corinthia asked, debating touching his hand. She decided not to and just waited for him to answer, if he answered at all.

"This was all too easy," Shepard began. "At first the Council wouldn't believe us, and now they readily accept our story. I don't like it."

"At least you got what you wanted," she muttered darkly.

He rubbed his eyes wearily. He had wanted to be a Spectre, but after the initial rush, it wasn't as liberating as he had hoped. As a matter of fact, he felt a great weight added to his shoulders. Before, he'd been able to pass blame along the chain of command, but now everything would be on him. In a sense, he'd always been independent and ignored orders, but he'd always been right about doing it. Still, though, now there weren't going to be any checks on his actions.

That meant that he needed Corinthia. Ever since Torfan, she had become his conscience. She made sure that he knew when he was going too far and pointed out the line when he didn't see it. He'd gotten better, lately, but his first reaction to most situations, although right in his mind, wasn't, exactly, the "good" one in the eyes of galactic society.

The Alliance had tried to train him to be the perfect soldier — and there was no denying that he was — when he'd been in N7, but they hadn't prepared him for dealing with any kind of stigma for his actions. Or, really, for having someone he cared about get pissed at him for doing his job. For having Corinthia get pissed at him, even though collateral was something that they'd both come to accept, even if it was frowned upon. There was little counter for his ruthlessness, especially when it came to casualties. He didn't think that all lives had value, and he quickly judged which ones did and didn't. He was the man that was capable of making the hard decisions, regardless of the stakes. That was why he'd been made a Spectre and Corinthia hadn't. He was capable of sacrificing for the sake of a mission, whereas she wasn't. She hadn't even let him kill the scum that was Fist.

But the fact was that he'd listened to her. She was the goddamn voice in his head and it was driving him crazy because hers was the only voice he couldn't ignored. Sometimes he regretted ever talking to her, but he'd gotten to the point that he couldn't imagine life without her.

"I thought you didn't want the job," he observed.

"I just said that I thought you were better, not that I didn't want it." She shrugged. "Still, congrats. You've just upgraded from awesome to epic."

He smirked and nudged her playfully. "No plans to hack the system and change the outcome?"

"I like to earn what I get, thanks, though I could rig the lottery if I wanted to." Her eyes unfocused as she went into Dreamland. "Ooh, it would be so simple… All I'd have to do is—"

"Focus, Ci-Ci."

"Sorry, Shep."

Shepard took another long drink. "You heard Udina, didn't you? They're giving me a ship and a crew."

Corinthia nodded. "Yeah." She touched his arm. "Are you alright? You look… disturbed."

He stared at his half-empty glass. "They may not have us on the same crew."

She laughed. "Are you kidding me? If Anderson's got anything to say, we're going to be together and you know it. They know I can't function on my own. Cheers." She picked up her glass, toasted Shepard, drank half of the drink, and gagged comically. "Oh, that was a bad idea. I don't even know what that was and now my head's spinning…"

Shepard put his hand over hers. "I can't do this without you."

She grinned and winked. "The Alliance knows that, Shep. I keep putting into your reports, you know."

Shepard's expression didn't falter and he didn't remove his hand.

Her smile faded. "You're really worried, aren't you? No wonder why you wanted a drink…"

He locked eyes with hers, making her gulp. She didn't like it whenever he looked at her like that. It seemed like unadulterated hatred, but Corinthia knew him well enough to know that it was just his emotions and passions as he tried to hold them back. Even knowing what it was, it scared her more than anything else in the universe. Worse, she desperately wanted to know exactly what he was thinking and be there when it surfaced.

"John?" she asked softly, trying not to sound as frightened of him as she felt. If he said something, the spell would be broken and she could breathe again.

"Would you disobey orders and come with me?" he asked slowly.

She paled and pulled away from him. "That's… desertion!"

Shepard leaned in, grabbing her hand again and dragging it almost against his chest. His expression changed to something near desperation—or, as close as you got with a hardened man like Shepard. Corinthia reconsidered: It wasn't desperation; it was humanity. It was the moment she'd been waiting to see. Her heart raced. For the first time in years, she knew that she still liked him. Cared about him. Loved him. Whatever. That she wouldn't ever really get over him and that, maybe, he might let her in.

"Would you?" he pressed, surprisingly gentle in comparison to his usual gruff tone. His entire look softened, making him look just like any other guy, not the strong man she was used to seeing. He was showing her a part of him that he kept hidden, admitting to the fact that he was capable of being gentle, kind, and everything she'd wished he could be.

She took a slow breath to try and calm herself, wanting to look away, but unable to. "I'm not going to have to."

"I want to know," he pressed, leaning in closer to her.

They were only this close when they hugged, and even then they kept it brief, but she could feel the warmth radiating off of his skin, see the bright lights of Flux reflect in his blue eyes. He'd always looked older than he was, but now he looked his age, less weathered and beaten by time and experience, although certainly not innocent.

She bit her lip. He'd never asked her anything like this before. He'd always assumed that she'd follow his orders, never wondered if she did it because she either had to or wanted to. In fact, he was the only reason she was still with the Alliance. She knew that she was his only friend, but he didn't know that he was hers, too. Sure, she knew other people, but it wasn't the same. They hadn't been in the Blitz, survived Akuze, or seen Torfan. They didn't understand how she felt about Cerberus or why Shepard held vendettas against any kind of organized mercenary group. They couldn't meet her eyes and know exactly what she meant without her saying a word. Shepard could. He could do all of that and more. Maybe he didn't want to, but he could.

That was why she wanted to follow him — because he understood her, even if it was against his will. She felt safe when he was around, despite the fact that their lives were constantly in danger (as their scars attested). She loved him, although how exactly was muddled in her mind. All she knew was that she couldn't leave him, not willingly, and she'd risk getting kicked out of the Alliance again and again if it meant that they could serve together.

Hesitantly, she touched his cheek. "John, you're my best friend. You shouldn't have to ask me this. You _know _that I'd follow you into Hell in a heartbeat. I've done it before and I would do it again and again, even if you didn't ask, even if you begged me not to, or if I knew I wouldn't come out of it. It sounds stupid, but I need you. I feel like I can do anything with you. Like hell I'll leave you alone in this mission, or any of them."

Shepard's heart almost stopped beating. He'd hoped that she'd give that answer — actually, he'd been almost positive that she would — but to actually hear her _say_ it was something else entirely, like an affirmation that she was just too... too... He didn't know what. "Wonderful" seemed like a stupid and cliché word, especially for him to say. And the way she was looking at him, that her fingers were tracing along his stubble, assured him that she'd long stopped seeing him as just a friend. He'd been too blind to see it and she'd been too shy to admit it. But right now her guard was down and she was showing him her heart, which she kept as guarded as he kept his.

He couldn't take it anymore. There was no denying that he wanted her, desperately, and swallowing his feelings again was going to be impossible; they were too strong for him to fight. Even the threat of court martial for fraternization wasn't enough (nor had it ever been). He didn't know what, exactly, they were, but they sure as hell weren't friendship with the images running through his head.

He raised his free hand to her fingers and caught them. She had to care about him, even if she wasn't ready to admit it. He wanted to kiss her, to hold her against him and let her know just how grateful he was that she was still beside him, despite what he'd done to her in the past.

She blushed deeply and drew her fingers out of his grasp, as if he'd touched her hand to remove her touch instead of hold it against his cheek.

"Cassie," he murmured, swallowing his nerves. He had to know what it was like to feel her lips against his, to know for sure if what he was feeling was real or just some cruel trick of the mind.

She took a deep breath. "John?" she asked, her voice uncertain.

He could feel her blushing, but she wasn't withdrawing, nor was she moving closer to him. This was his chance. He reached out and touched her neck, thinking that he was going to pull her in and kiss her. It was damned impulsive of him, but he wasn't sure he had enough self-control to fight it.

She stiffened at his touch, more out of shock than anything else, and her eyes widened a little. He couldn't tell if it was out of fear or not, but it was enough to shock him back into reality. He pulled away, releasing her hand (which he'd been gripping the entire time) and taking a quick drink. She had no idea. She wasn't ready for it, for him, for anything that he wanted. As creative as she was, it was like she couldn't even imagine them ever being more than friends, ever interacting differently.

His heart sank as he realized how stupid he'd been. She'd never had a boyfriend, realized when someone was hitting on her, or been kissed. Her eyes screamed the confused innocence of a child, albeit with the curiosity of a much older woman. If she was confused, she'd only think herself into a frenzy and eventually break down crying. As much as he wanted her, Shepard couldn't do that to her. He couldn't damn their friendship simply because he wanted more without regard to her feelings, because he did care what she thought, more than he was probably ready to admit.

The only question was if he'd ever get a chance with her at all, or if she'd remain the perpetual innocent and naive virgin he'd befriended all those years ago.

"Thank you," he hoarsely breathed after a long moment. "I'm glad I didn't scare you off."

She laughed, sounding much more like her usual self than she had just a moment before. With that laugh, whatever chances he'd had at showing her how he felt (because telling her was out of the question) were gone. If she'd even realized that he'd tried to kiss her, she was doing a damn good job of not showing it.

"You've been trying to scare me off for ages, Shep. Hasn't worked yet. Besides, at this point, we're kinda stuck together, you know? Like a wishbone."

"Wishbone?" he repeated, forcing himself to forget what he'd just tried to do.

"Yeah. Joined at the... Uh, wait, that doesn't work, does it?"

Shepard chuckled and shook his head. As disappointed at himself as he was that he'd been too scared to kiss her (yes, scared, and he was going to be pissed about it for a long time), he could already feel himself relaxing as she made a fool of herself.

"No, it doesn't. Try again."

"Alright." She comically screwed up her face in thought. "Ooh, this is a tough one, because we aren't joined at the hip. I mean, I could mess with our armor enough to make it work, but that'd just be awkward."

"And inconvenient. You can run faster than I can."

"Meh, not when you do that biotic charge thingy."

"Whatever. Keep thinking."

"Aha! Wait, no, I can't say it..." She blushed furiously and took a sip of her drink.

"Tell me," he urged.

"Two parts of a whole," she muttered bashfully. "That's the best phrase that comes to mind. Stupid, huh? And with all the wrong connotations."

"Wrong?" Shepard repeated, everything that he was trying to hold back resurfacing with high hopes. "What makes you say that?"

"John, we've been friends for ages, but you're not into me like that, and that's what married people call themselves," Corinthia said as if it were simply fact.

Shepard finished the rest of his drink and signaled Rita for another. "You think I don't like you?" he asked lowly, trying to give her some kind of hint. It wasn't easy, especially because he was becoming more and more certain that he was going to have to do something to her before she actually understood what he wanted.

"Not like that, no," she answered immediately, answering for him as if she knew exactly what she was thinking. "If you did, you would've done something about it. It's not like you sit around and talk about your feelings."

"So what the hell do you think I was trying to do before?" Shepard found himself hissing before he could stop himself. He glared at her. "That you just had something stuck on your neck?"

Corinthia reddened. She hadn't wanted to hope, but she was still annoyed at him for being with that harlot back on Earth, for every woman he'd had before. Shepard wasn't hers and probably never would be, so she had no right to be angry, but she was.

"I don't know," she answered quietly, looking away. "But it doesn't matter. You outrank me. We're not even supposed to be getting drinks like this."

"Since when have you cared?" he demanded.

"What do you want me to say? That I like you?" she answered hotly, rounding on him. "I used to, a lot. I thought I was in love with you once, but then I saw how you treat other women and it just makes me _angry_. And it isn't just the women you sleep with, but also the soldiers, like Ash. She's been fuming this entire time and I don't know if it's because she doesn't like me or if it's because you're treating her like shit."

"Shut up, right now," Shepard warned. "You don't want to get into this argument."

"What are you going to do? Pull your Spectre status on me?"

Shepard calmed himself enough before they started yelling at each other in public. He took a deep breath and calmly answered, "I don't trust people like you do, Cassie. I don't start thinking that they're capable. They have to prove themselves. Williams is doing it. Alenko has. And all those 'other women' you're talking about? I hate them. Every last one of them. I wish they didn't exist and that I never did any of that shit with them." He gazed into his glass. "Hell, sometimes I wish I was as innocent and naive as you are. I know I couldn't do my job, but it'd be nice not to go around expecting the worst from everyone. You can just grin at anything, during anything, and your smile's the most beautiful I've ever seen."

She flushed and tucked her bangs behind her ears, letting him see her scars. Her attempts not to smile with pleasure failed. Shepard forced down another urge to kiss her, but he'd already decided not to do that to her. Touch, though, was a different thing entirely.

He covered her hand with his. "I don't get how you can be how you are, but don't change. The galaxy needs more people like you."

She giggled. "Immature and naive and innocent?"

"I was going to say 'upbeat'."

"Hah! I'd hoped you say 'perky'."

"That isn't in my vocabulary."

She lightly punched his arm. "Sure it is. Just say it."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Aw..." She gave him a big smile. "You said it's beautiful, right? Does it work to melt your heart?"

"More than you realize," he muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing, but you're going to have to do better than that." He moved his chair closer to hers, trying to get close to her without actually touching her. Maybe she'd pick up the physical hints. Then again, Shepard had never really had to give them out before, so he could only hope that he was doing it right, whatever that meant.

Thankfully, she didn't move away, although Shepard was now almost positive that her cheeks were going to be flushed for the rest of the evening.

"What stakes are we talking? Usually the puppy-eyes works or me scolding you, but this isn't exactly a scolding situation and I can't do the eye thing with all the lights in here."

Shepard almost asked her to kiss him, but he resisted. "You'll have to think of something, then."

"More drinks?"

"That'll work."

"Rita! More of the stuff!" Corinthia ordered.

Shepard smirked. "I really need to teach you how to order drinks."

"We've got time. And a tab." Corinthia winked. "Is that a challenge?"

"You know it."

"Bring it on, Shep."

"You got it, Ci-Ci. Rita, two shots of vodka and keep them coming."


	12. Hang Over

**_A/N 29 April 2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, **Author's Explanatory Note: an Update**._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>7 May 2183—the Market Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Shepard was drunk and it was entirely Corinthia's fault. Firstly, he'd had to drink to kick himself for trying to kiss her. Then he'd had to drink so that he could have an excuse to be close to her, physically. Then he'd had to drink some more so that he could explain putting his arm around her shoulders and yelling at a krogan that eyed her wrong. Since the particular krogan was a man of honor, they settled the match for Corinthia in a drinking contest. Needless to say, the krogan went under the table and Shepard collected his prize: a nice big, sloppy, whiskey-ridden kiss on Corinthia's cheek. She barely managed to avoid a couple more, each of which moved dangerously closer to her lips, drunken attempts at kisses before she decided that it was high time they went to bed.

Not that she wasn't pleased. Shepard had been practically cuddly all night, inebriated or not, and she could enjoy it all because she knew he was black-out drunk. That spared them the awkward moment the next morning when he woke up and knew that he'd tried something stupid. Well, not stupid, but against his character.

She knew very well that he saw her as a little sister, nothing more. He always had, especially considering how damn protective he could be, as if she wasn't capable of really taking care of herself. It annoyed her, more often than not, especially after the whole Spectre business when Shepard barely stood up for her, and had yet to apologize for it. Not that he would. She still wasn't sure that he'd ever said the words "I'm sorry" to her in the almost nine years they'd known each other — well, seven, considering they didn't really become friends until after Akuze.

When Shepard grabbed her hand and staggered towards the dance floor, Corinthia decided that enough was enough. Shepard couldn't dance to save his life, which meant that his ability to make good decisions was completely gone. Luckily for everyone, Shepard was a happy drunk tonight. He generally was, when it was just him and Corinthia, but she'd seen him pissed-drunk before and it wasn't pretty.

"Alright, tough guy," Corinthia groaned, blinking away her own headache from having one shot too many. Ah, the glories of being a lightweight. "Time to head home."

Shepard pointed to the dance floor. "C'mon, Cassie. It'll be fun!" He offered her a big grin.

"Uh huh. Yeah, no." She put her arm around his waist and escorted him towards the door. His arm looped around her shoulders and he leaned in to kiss her cheek again. She ducked, but his lips still met her temple. "Yeah, definitely time to go home," she muttered.

"You know I love you, right?" he slurred.

"I know, Shep," she answered, distracted as she tried to remember how to get back to her home from Flux. She hadn't really heard him, since he'd started saying very, very strange things, like about them going out or that she tasted good or weird things like that. Something was seriously wrong with the man, not that he'd remember in the morning.

It was nearing dawn. On the Citadel, that meant that the station was rotating so that they could see part of the star, the night life was retreating back into the shadows, and businesses were getting ready to open for business. There wasn't really any part of the Citadel that had a true sense of day or night. Corinthia had spent so much time on ships that she was used to sleeping when she could, since there wasn't daylight to give them a sense of day and night.

She pulled him back to her side as he started towards a glowing sign ("Rapid Transit: Shuttles for your Convenience").

"No, no shinies for you," she ordered sternly.

"You can't tell me what to do, soldier! I outrank you!"

"But, sir, it's a trap."

"Oh, in that case, well done." He planted another kiss on her cheek (what was _wrong_ with him?). He pointed towards another sign. "Let's go that way."

Corinthia wrestled his arm down. "Easy, Shep. You're attracting a lot of attention. Public intoxication is illegal here, too, you know."

He snorted. "Eh, let them try and arrest me. I'm a Spectre!"

Corinthia lowered Shepard onto a bench overlooking the Market Ward and took out her omni-tool. "There's got to be some kind of sobriety shock I can do with this thing. And what the hell happened to my map guidance?"

Shepard leaned forward, pressing his cheek against her thigh (as she was still standing and he missed his target: her breast). "Are we there yet?"

She put her palm against his forehead and forced him to sit up. "No. Here, breathe on this."

He quizzically looked between her omni-tool and face. "It's your hand."

"It's my omni-tool with a breathalyzer upgrade. Now, blow."

He snickered. "That's what she said."

"God, Shepard, you're worse than I am!" She sat next to him and forced him to sit still. "Greatest example of humanity. Yeah, right."

"The grotesque excretion of hummus?" he asked.

She wasn't in the mood to laugh. "The greatest example of humanity, Shepard. I was talking about you. Though you are a good example of a human drunk."

"Thank you. And you are a good example of a girl. Woman, I mean."

"Thanks for noticing."

"That's not what I meant." He leaned in for yet another kiss, but his coordination was almost completely gone and he butted her chin with his forehead.

She smoothed her bangs over her scars. "Okay, now you're just being mean."

"No, I mean it, Cash — Cashee — Cassiopeia," he finally managed.

She sighed. She hated it when people called her by her full first name. The only person who had really ever done it was her mother. Still, it wasn't so bad coming from Shepard, mostly because she used his first name, too, and it was only fair that he do it in return. She still preferred "Cassie", but he only called her that when he was trying to be nice. She wasn't sure he'd ever called her Cassiopeia. Oddly enough, it didn't bother her or sound strange.

"Just in case I didn't think you were drunk before, now I know." She turned back to her omni-tool. "That means that you really have to get some rest. Now, if this damn thing will tell me where I live, I can get you to bed."

* * *

><p><strong>Corinthia's Apartment, Market Ward<strong>

Shepard woke with a throbbing headache and a blurred idea of what had happened the night before. He was lying in a bed, shirtless with Corinthia nestled against his side. His stomach lurched and plunged: what the hell had he done to get to _this_ point? He tried to concentrate and remember, but nothing came.

He groaned. "Fuck," he breathed. He clamped a hand over his mouth, checking to see if she'd heard. Thankfully, she hadn't, although she did roll closer to him. Shepard relaxed as her shoulder peeked out from beneath the covers, revealing that she still wore a shirt. That was generally a good sign. He quickly checked to see that they were wearing pants — which they were — before he was certain that nothing incredibly stupid had happened. Then again, if they'd kissed, he wanted to be able to remember it. He'd already messed it up once, and _not_ kissing her had probably been the hardest thing he'd ever done.

Unfortunately, finding out what had happened would have to wait. He still had to decide if he was going to stay in bed and relish having her so close to him or get up. His headache took the lead and forced him to close his eyes. Had he drunk the whole bar?

After what seemed like an hour, Corinthia inhaled deeply and stretched. Shepard kept his eyes shut, trying to look like he was still asleep. Then again, had they started off in bed together or had he snuck in?

From the way she suddenly sat up, he was pretty sure that she hadn't known. "What the —? John!" she screeched.

He opened his eyes. "Cassie," he greeted coolly.

"What the hell are you doing in bed with me?" she demanded, dragging the covers up around her.

He shrugged and sat up. "I'm still trying to figure out how I got here at all. Where is here, exactly?"

"My place," she answered softly, her cheeks reddening.

Shepard rubbed his temples. "I didn't do anything stupid, did I?"

She laughed bitterly. "Other than drinking a krogan under the table, trying to get me to dance with you, and this, no, not really." She couldn't bring herself to tell him about his kissing her cheek. She'd liked it, but he normally was too controlled to let that kind of thing happen. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Shepard had already figured that out. He clearly remembered trying to kiss her, backing off, and starting to take shots. After that, everything was fuzzy, but more and more moments were staring to surface. "I remember you started singing something. That's about the last thing that comes to mind."

Corinthia scrambled out of bed, trying to look calm, although her furtive movements suggested nothing short of mortified embarrassment. "Oh, yeah, that. You asked me what my favorite song was and then made me sing it."

Shepard raised his eyebrows. "Is it too late for me to blame that on being drunk?"

"I _knew_ you were drunk. Like super drunk."

"Where's my shirt?"

"You took it off as soon as we got inside," she answered softly. She pointed to the sofa. Her apartment was really just one big room, with a bed against one wall, a sitting area set up in the middle, and a small kitchen in the opposite wall. The tall windows were blacked out and the walls were covered with art, most of which was pretty damn good, although Shepard didn't have an eye for that kind of thing, anyway. Still, the entire place looked neglected, as if no one had been there in years.

Shepard got out of bed and retrieved the garment. "I take it you told me to sleep on the sofa."

"You fell face-first onto it. I didn't have to tell you anything," she answered, although she was trying to remember him crawling into bed with her. Her dreams had certainly implied that he had, since she'd dreamt of them cuddling and generally being together. Very good reverie, that.

"When was the last time you were here?" Shepard asked.

"Not since after Akuze."

"And you kept renting it?"

"I _own_ it." She started going through her drawers. "So that's where that shirt went. I was wondering." She held up a bright green top. "But it's not uniform, now, is it? I thought I left a set of casuals in here somewhere..." She rummaged through her closet.

Shepard pulled on his shirt. "About last night," he started uncertainly.

Corinthia didn't look at him, instead fixating on throwing everything she owned onto the bed. "What about it?"

"I didn't... try anything on you, did I?"

Corinthia barely hesitated before answering, "Why would you? You're like my brother, right? It'd just wouldn't be right."

Shepard ran his hand over his head. "Yeah... Yeah, it wouldn't be, would it?" If that's what she thought, he had one hell of a lot of work to do, but that was assuming that her opinion could be changed at all.

Corinthia mewed in disappointment and tossed all of her clothes back into the closet. "I hate rewearing things," she muttered, going to find her discarded uniform.

"You got a shower?" Shepard asked.

She pointed to the only other door in the place. "Should be towels in there."

Shepard nodded and went to where she indicated. The word "brother" echoed through his mind. He should've expected it, considering how neutral she could act about their relationship, but to actually hear her say it was painful. He hadn't thought it possible that someone could go and hurt his feelings, but she had. She was probably the only person capable of it, too, and it had been in the one regard that was starting to matter to him. If she couldn't imagine them being together, then he wasn't sure what he was going to do. Maybe he could try to fight back his affections again, but his willpower was failing him. He'd been doing it for too long — and not just since April, he now realized — and the fight was taking its toll on him.

He stepped into the shower, hoping that the water could clear his mind and wash away some of the haze from the night before. He wasn't sure he could tell her how he felt, because he himself was still a little confused, and he already knew that showing her was going to be out of the question. Worse, he was her superior officer. Last night, he hadn't given a damn, but they'd probably be seeing Anderson and heading out on to catch Saren. As a Spectre, Shepard could do what he wanted, but it wasn't like he'd given up his Alliance commission, either. Would he risk court martial to be with her? In a heartbeat.

He cut off the water and stared into the mirror for a long moment. Last night, she'd given him hope that she felt the same, or at least that she might or, one day, could. How could she just turn around and take it back? Or was she just as oblivious to her own feelings as she was to everything else? He already knew that getting with her wasn't going to be like anything he'd done before. Now that he thought about it, he wasn't even sure what he wanted other than her, how long it would last, if it could actually work, or anything. Her friendship was too precious to him to compromise, but it wasn't enough for him anymore. Was it enough for her?

"Fuck," he hissed, pounding a fist into the counter. Romance was so much easier when he had only himself to think about. Worse, he was supposed to be thinking about how he was going to get Saren, not about how he was going to convince his best friend to fall in love with him.

Love. Shepard had been avoiding the word, but it was, unfortunately, the only outcome there was if he and Corinthia were to stay together. He wasn't ready for that, and she sure as hell wasn't, but there wasn't going to be any avoiding it if he continued down this path.

At the moment, that single "L" word was the only reason he had left _not_ to be with her. Fear of it was the last barrier he had, so he was going to fortify it for all it was worth. He wanted her, yes, but not if love was the outcome. At least, that's what he was going to keep telling himself until it was true.

"You okay?" Corinthia called, concerned.

"Fine," he answered. "Just pissed the Council didn't make you a Spectre, too."

It was a lousy cover, but he had to think about something else. He also had to apologize to her, or get as close as he could. No, maybe a real apology was in order — and not just saying that she was right, but him saying that he was wrong and using the phrase "I'm sorry". He'd practically said that she wasn't worth the effort to make a Spectre, hadn't stood up for her, tried to kiss her, gotten drunk and made her watch over him, crawled into bed with her... And that was only in the last twenty-four hours, not to mention everything he'd done to hurt her before — Torfan and whatever other sins he'd consciously and unconsciously committed.

"It's fine," she answered stiffly. "We both knew it'd be you, didn't we?"

Shepard quickly dried off and dressed, ignoring the fact that he desperately needed to shave. "That doesn't mean I should've let them brush you aside like that," he answered, stepping out of the bathroom. "You deserve more than that, especially from me. You're my friend. I don't know what the hell that means to you, but I haven't exactly been treating you like you deserve."

She rolled her eyes. While he'd been cleaning up and agonizing, she had dressed into a set of slightly too big casual blues. Her hair still looked matted and mussed, but he somehow doubted that she had a brush.

"I think you're still drunk," she started. "That means you need water and some bread. Uh... Wait, I don't have any food in here. Want to go out or should I go grab some?"

"Would you just concentrate for five seconds?" Shepard demanded, stepping forward to grab her arm. He thought better of it and backed off. "Please, Cassie. I'm trying to apologize."

Her eyes widened. "You're... what?"

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

After regarding him for a moment, she went over and hugged him, tightly. Shepard wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her there, although he could only hope that she understood that he was trying to apologize for _everything_ he'd done, not just for the night before.

"I know," she whispered softly. "I'm sorry, too."

"For what?"

"I don't know. For making you deal with me?"

Shepard chuckled. "You know, after all this time, I thought you'd figured out that I _like_ dealing with you. You're frustrating sometimes, but I've stopped caring." Shepard almost added that he liked her, but swallowed his words. He was hung-over, she looked exhausted, and he still didn't know what to think about the brother comment.

She shrugged. "Don't do that."

"What?"

"Stop caring. I like that you do care, even if you don't want to admit it most of the time. At least to other people."

Shepard didn't reply. She was right, of course. He cared about her against his will, but he'd decided to give on fighting the fact he cared for her; he'd given up on trying to win her over.

Spontaneously, she got on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. She almost started when she felt his cheek warm beneath her lips. Was... No, it wasn't possible. But then again, was Shepard _blushing?_

She backed away, regarding him carefully. He seemed a little unsteady, but that was probably from the drinking the night before, and his chest was expanding as he inhaled deeply. Normally, that was what happened before he ripped someone in half with his biotics, but that wasn't anything like what his expression said.

If she had to guess, she would've said he looked content. No, that wasn't a strong enough word, nor was calm or satisfied. Happy, maybe? Then again, since when had the words "Shepard" and "happy" been used in the same sentence (other than "Shepard is unhappy")? It didn't fit, but it was the only thing that she could come up with, and it hadn't been there until after she'd kissed him. Now that she thought about it, he'd had the same look in his eyes when she'd done the same thing on his birthday, except then his guard hadn't been up and she'd been able to see exactly what he'd been thinking:

He'd liked it.

Corinthia felt herself blushing. He was still holding her and he wasn't making much indication of letting go. A great part of her wanted to stay and she wasn't going to fight it. The previous night had rekindled the embers of her affections, even though she was doing her best to not fan the flame.

Unfortunately, she already knew that she'd made it worse. Whatever progress she'd made in removing herself from a romantic fantasy world with a knightly version of Shepard had been stopped in its tracks and sent in reverse, although the idea of a black or dark knight was a hundred times more appealing than the shining armor version. Her only reason left to fight her feelings was out of respect for his not liking her, but lately he'd been acting so differently that she had to wonder.

No, she wasn't going to wonder. She wouldn't let herself read anything into Shepard's actions or hugs or whatever. He was Shepard. They were friends. He'd carefully kept it that way, with no help from her. She got cuddly when she was scared, insecure, or even comfortable enough in her own skin to not act the complete fool. Then again, that was only around him.

She had her shovel in hand and her grave was well beyond six feet deep.

Shepard's lips curled into a sad smile. "If I didn't care, I would've left you on Akuze."

The words sounded cold, but his tone was almost penitent. It was his way of telling her that she did matter — that she had for a long time — and that she was really the only part of his past that he'd kept around. It wasn't going back so far as the Reds, but he didn't carry things that reminded him of the bad times unless he had to. He could've ditched her, if he'd wanted, but he didn't. Instead, he'd saved her life, now a hundred times over.

"I know," she answered. "Sometimes I'm not as oblivious as I seem."

"But only sometimes."

She laughed uncomfortably. "Yeah, only sometimes."

Shepard realized that he was still holding her at almost the same moment she broke the embrace. She was blushing furiously and she smoothed her bangs down over her scars.

"Alright, I think it's time for breakfast," she declared.

"Agreed," he answered quickly, grateful that she was changing the subject. He'd never liked talking about feelings, mostly because he didn't understand them very well, and much more discussion on the topic would have him spilling his heart to her within a few minutes. He couldn't do that to her, even if she did listen and respond with nothing put affection, devotion, and tenderness.

Damn her mixed signals. Then again, did she actually know what came out of her mouth?

* * *

><p><strong>The Docks, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Anderson waited patiently for Corinthia and Shepard to arrive. Though they hadn't been given official shore leave, he knew that they both needed a moment to breathe, especially after the events of Eden Prime. Shepard had done a good job not showing how shaken he truly was by the beacon's message, but not as well with Corinthia's injury. Anderson liked the both of them too much to let their fraternization get them into trouble, but Shepard couldn't forget to put the Alliance first.

Although nothing had been done about it, the Alliance had been keeping a close eye on the both of them since Shepard had volunteered for the Cerberus mission. At the time, all the Alliance had known was that there might have been a link between the Cerberus agents and the attack on the _SSV Geneva_, which had caused Shepard to jump on the opportunity. Hackett had gladly let the Commander take the mission, since it needed to be done right, but Anderson hadn't been so eager. Hackett knew that Shepard and Corinthia were close, but only Anderson really understood how close. Shepard would do almost anything for that woman. Since her mother had been the captain of the _Geneva_, Anderson could only assume that Shepard volunteered because Corinthia asked him to. However, as more intel came in, the mission became a snatch-and-grab in an attempt to recover Cerberus research. Shepard had succeeded, but with a high body count. Granted, unlike Torfan, Shepard had only lost two of his fifteen men, but Cerberus suffered 100% casualties.

If anything, the Cerberus mission had sealed Shepard's fate as a Spectre. The Blitz had given him a name, Akuze a reputation, and Torfan a legend. The last had brought his name up as a Spectre candidate, despite his ruthlessness. Honestly, the Alliance liked that about him. He understood the stakes of war and did what was necessary. Few men were capable of his cold sacrifice without being recklessly bloodthirsty. Anderson had seen Shepard fight a few time and, though the man enjoyed it, the Commander didn't go looking for conflict; it simply gravitated to him.

The whole Saren fiasco was evidence of that. Even if Shepard hadn't been there at the start of it, he would've been sent to finish it. That was what he did, as being a graduate of the N7 SpecOps program and almost the most famous soldier in the galaxy. The Alliance had more than ridding themselves of a rogue turian on their minds, though. If Shepard did his job right, Humanity could be given a position on the Council. Everything hinged on Shepard's performance, really. It wasn't something that Anderson was going to tell the Commander, as Shepard would get pissed at being a pawn, but the Captain already suspected that Corinthia knew.

That girl was too smart for her own good. Not only did she have a nose for trouble, she also had no regard for rules and regulations except when they were appropriate. Shepard, at least, pretended that he followed them. Corinthia just ignored things she thought were silly. However, she was one of the best the Alliance had to offer, maybe even second best after Shepard. If she set her mind to something, she could do it. She'd served with the STG on multiple occasions and they salarians gave her nothing but praise. If she lacked focus, she made up for it in tenacity. She was tougher than most soldiers — all it took was looking at her scars to see that — and she didn't give up easily. Her pairing with Shepard was almost perfect, considering his biotics and her tech skills. They were the perfect team for this mission, but Anderson could only wonder if it was going to push them over the edge.

About a year before Torfan, the Alliance had investigated Corinthia and Shepard's relationship. It had been Corinthia's fault, really, since she'd hugged the Commander in front of an Admiral. The investigation came up without conclusive evidence that the two officers of different ranks were involved in gambling, money lending, or a romantic relationship (which would've given them a court martial), although that was when they found out that Corinthia had probably been rigging her assignments, but Anderson's suspicions of the true nature of their relationship had been roused. Eden Prime had confirmed his fears, though, when he witnessed Shepard's reaction to Corinthia's life being in danger. In the report, Anderson had managed to twist the truth so that it sounded like Shepard was simply trying to save a member of his team, but no one reading that had seen the worry on the Commander's face when he woke and found her unconscious in the med bay with him. Even if Shepard hadn't understood what he was feeling, Anderson did: Shepard was in love with Corinthia.

Anderson himself had been in the same position, having fallen in love with a woman named Kahlee Sanders years before when he'd been a candidate for the Spectres. Anderson hadn't been brave enough to flaunt regs to be with her, so they'd drifted apart, but he hadn't forgotten, nor was he about to. In a way, Anderson saw himself in Shepard, except that the Commander was twenty times more capable than Anderson ever was. Unfortunately, Anderson wasn't in a position of enough influence to keep Shepard and Corinthia out of trouble if they ever decided to act on their feelings — that is, if Corinthia ever even realized her feelings. She hardly even knew what she was saying, let alone what she was doing, that the Alliance had long since prescribed her medication for ADHD (which Anderson knew she didn't touch) and used her "mental disorder" as an excuse.

Pressley came out of the _Normandy_. "Sir, everything's in order for Commander Shepard," he said, saluting smartly.

"Good," Anderson murmured.

"May I ask who the XO is going to be, sir?"

Honestly, Anderson wasn't sure. The Alliance had assigned Corinthia, but in all likelihood she would be going out on missions with Shepard, which rather defeated the purpose of her assignment as executive officer. Ultimately, it would be Shepard's decision, but Anderson wasn't sure it was a good idea to leave Corinthia with the ship. Joker wouldn't let her do anything too stupid, but then again, he and she had very similar personalities and loved a good joke almost too much to resist. Next to Corinthia, Pressley had the most experience and had been part of the _Normandy'_s building. Not only that, but he'd been next in charge after Shepard on the _Normandy'_s first tour.

"That's up to Shepard," Anderson answered. "But if I had to guess, he'd choose Ci-Ci."

"She's a good kid, but a little inexperienced. Has she ever been XO of a ship, Captain?"

"No, but she's been offered the job before on Admiral Hackett's ship. I wouldn't worry too much. Shepard knows what he's doing."

"That's what we all hope, sir."

As if on cue, Shepard and Corinthia stepped out of the elevators. Shepard was toting two weapons cases and Corinthia was juggling a much larger sniper rifle case. Shepard set his things down to salute.

"Captain," he greeted.

Corinthia fumbled around and managed a half salute before she had to scramble to keep the sniper rifle box in her arms. Whatever she'd bought was almost as tall as she was.

"Captain," she echoed.

"At ease, both of you," Anderson began. "The Alliance is giving you the _Normandy_, Shepard."

The Commander's eyes flashed with anticipation and his lips curled into a subtle smirk. Getting the _Normandy _was a good sign.

Anderson wasn't finished. "The crew is staying aboard as well." His gaze flicked to Corinthia. "The Alliance hasn't chosen an XO for you, although they assume that you will pick the Lieutenant Commander here."

"Yeah, uh, Shep, I wouldn't suggest that," Corinthia put in. "With all due respect and all that fun stuff."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "You sure, Ci-Ci?"

"Positive."

"Pressley, you up for the job?"

"Sir," Pressley answered, saluting.

"Then you're up." Shepard hesitated. "What about the turian, krogan, and quarian?"

Anderson crossed his arms and stroked his chin. "The Alliance isn't thrilled with the fact that you were working with them, but I think it's a good thing. You're a Spectre now and humanity needs to show its cooperation."

"I'll need more than just me, Alenko, and Ci-Ci to get Saren," Shepard continued.

"What about Williams?"

"Barely worked with her, sir. Not sure if she's up to it."

"I've seen her record, Commander. Williams is more than capable. She's already been reassigned to the _Normandy_."

"Fine, but the others are better."

"Listen, Shepard, I'm behind you one hundred percent. If you want other crew members, you can find them. Actually, we have someone we want you to talk to. Who knows, she might end up being worthy to be a part of your team."

Shepard barely had to look at Corinthia before she'd put down her sniper rifle case, had her omni-tool out, and was getting in touch with Garrus, Wrex, and Tali. Sometimes he loved that she could read his mind, but others it was almost intolerable just how much she missed.

"What's this mission, sir?"

"I've left them for you in your cabin," Anderson continued. "But in brief, her name is Liara T'Soni. She's an expert on the Protheans and she can help you decipher the beacon. There are rumors of the geth on Feros and Noveria as well, so those are probably good places to start your investigation."

Shepard grimaced. Having the phrase "investigation" attached to his mission was not what he'd imagined. He wasn't a detective; he was a soldier. He liked knowing exactly what he was getting into, but at the same time his stomach was turning with anticipation. It had been so long since he'd run head-first into the unknown that he couldn't help but want to.

However, Shepard needed a better reason to hunt Saren down than the fact the turian had shot Corinthia. Currently, that was the driving force, but the more he thought about Eden Prime, the more it reminded him of the Blitz. He'd felt hatred for the batarians after that, for how they'd destroyed something as idyllic as Elysium. He'd hated them for hurting Corinthia — although that realization had come after he'd become closer to her — and he hated them for killing innocents and soldiers. He'd hated the mercenaries because they were like the Reds.

His fist was tightly clenched. His worry for Corinthia and his annoyance with the Council had served to mask his feeling about Saren, but Shepard could feel himself starting to want to tear the turian limb from limb, pull his mandibles off and watch him scream as Shepard removed the plates from Saren's body. Shepard had never tortured anyone, but the thought of doing it to Saren was appealing. Whatever that bastard was up to, it wasn't good and Shepard was going to stop him.

Corinthia snickered, snapping Shepard back into reality. What the hell had he been thinking? For all his ruthlessness, Shepard had never been cruel when dispatching death. Messy, certainly, but he didn't prolong death, no matter what they'd done. Besides, if he did, Corinthia would never forgive him, just like he'd never be able to forgive himself. Some people in the Reds had been into torture, especially of salarians and asari. Shepard hadn't taken part, but he hadn't stopped them either.

He dismissed the memories before they surfaced. Anderson was still waiting for an answer.

"Thank you, sir," Shepard replied.

"I see you've already made use of your Spectre status to get some new equipment," Anderson added, eyeing the cases at Shepard's feet.

Shepard jerked a thumb to Corinthia in reply.

Anderson nodded sagely. "Making sure you don't have a repeat of Eden Prime?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, good luck, Shepard, unless there's anything else?"

"No, sir."

"Then the _Normandy_ is yours. Dismissed, Commander. You too, Pressley."

Shepard saluted, picked up the cases, and headed aboard with Pressley.

"Ci-Ci," Anderson said.

She looked up, slightly confused. "Captain?"

"Would you put that down so I can talk to you?"

"Oh, yeah, right." She set down the case, catching it as it tottered, and stepped aside with Anderson.

"The Alliance is worried that you're going to be a problem," Anderson began.

"What? How? I mean, sir, Shepard and I have served together so much that —"

"That's exactly why they think it's going to be a problem. That you're too close." Anderson gave her a pointed look.

Corinthia blinked. "They can't seriously think..."

"They know you've been hacking into the systems and changing your assignments, but they can't prove it yet. Hackett and I are trying to talk them out of pressing charges, but you're walking a thin line. I have to know: is there anything going on between you and Shepard?"

Corinthia blushed. "No, sir."

"You can tell me, Ci-Ci."

"Captain, Shepard and I are friends. Best friends. We know each other better than anyone else in the galaxy. Of course we're close, but we both know better than to act on any feelings we might have for each other. There's too much at stake."

"Be careful, Ci-Ci. The Brass already suspects, and with how Shepard went charging after Cerberus eighteen months ago, they're concerned that you're becoming a problem."

Corinthia narrowed her eyes. "Cerberus? What are you talking about?"

"Shepard never told you?"

"Well, no. I mean, around that time I'd been sorta hung-up about Mom's death because it'd been sixteen years since... Yeah, well, I ended up working with the STG right after, so we didn't see each other for almost two months, and by then we'd just sort of forgotten to catch up. Why? What happened, sir?"

Anderson had thought Corinthia would have known, but if Shepard hadn't told her, the Alliance's case against them was shaky at best.

"There was a group of Cerberus agents. We thought they were connected to the attack on the _Geneva_, but it ended up that they were guarding a group of scientists. The things they were doing..." Anderson took a deep breath. "The Alliance is still fighting Cerberus. You may be going after Saren right now, but I know that Admiral Hackett is going to ask for your help."

Corinthia's fists were clenched. She'd never been given the opportunity to get back at Cerberus. If they hadn't decided to take the _Geneva,_ her life would've been perfect. A part of her had jumped at joining the Alliance because her mother had. It was the only way Corinthia had left of feeling close to her mother at all. Maybe vengeance... No, Corinthia couldn't do it. She hated Cerberus for what they'd done, but it wasn't enough to ask Shepard to go out of his way to indulge her.

She relaxed a little. "I'll keep that in mind, sir."

"Don't do anything stupid, Ci-Ci. The Alliance may be watching you, but you're needed here. You've seen what Shepard can become if you don't keep him in check."

"You're talking about Torfan, then."

"And that mission with Cerberus. No one was left alive."

"I get that, sir."

"Humanity has to look good. Shepard doesn't care about the politics, but the Alliance does. He may be the better soldier, but you understand how things work."

Corinthia nodded. "So I'm supposed to make sure he doesn't make humanity look bad, then, is that it?"

"That's one way of putting it."

Corinthia took a deep breath. "Understood, sir. I'll make sure we get Saren without breaking any rules."

"I never said that. You got the job because you break the rules." Anderson smiled knowingly. "We just don't want a real war started because of this. Shepard isn't stupid enough to start one, but he doesn't think before he acts."

"I know how he works. There won't be a war, sir, I promise."

"Good." Anderson hesitated before putting a hand on her shoulder. "Shepard cares about you, more than he's willing to admit. Keep yourself out of trouble and hopefully we won't have anything to worry about."

"I don't like getting hit in the face, sir, with bullets or explosions," Corinthia replied. "I think I can manage to keep myself out away from that kind of thing. As for trouble... You know it follows me everywhere. Shep's about the only thing that can keep it in check, you know? Well, I mean, he does kinda keep saving my ass."

Anderson smiled against his will. She was right, of course: Shepard was capable of getting into and out of any kind of trouble that presented itself, be it to him or anyone else he knew. He may not have cared particularly about the rest of his team, but her life was never in danger when it was in his hands.

"The Alliance put their two best agents on this," Anderson continued. "Don't fail us, Ci-Ci."

"I won't, sir," she answered.

"Good. Dismissed."

Corinthia headed back onto the _Normandy_. A few moments later, it started pulling out to head into space. Anderson's stomach clenched. For whatever reason, he had a bad feeling that, no matter what Shepard and Corinthia did, there was still a war coming.

"One last thing," Anderson called.

"Sir?" she answered, hesitating at the door to the _Normandy_.

"Take care of that son of a bitch."

Corinthia grinned. "Always, sir."


	13. Where to Begin

**_A/N 5/29/2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, **Author's Explanatory Note: An Update**._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>8 May 2183—<em>SSV Normandy<em>, Citadel Space**

Shepard sat in his quarters, trying to figure out where the hell he should start. Despite the leads Anderson had given him, Shepard felt lost. He needed a solid mission with a set goal, not some vague lead about something that might not be true. Hackett had already contacted him with a couple of other missions that he was tempted to take before he even tried to get Saren.

Corinthia, of course, was trying to help him. With Pressley as the XO, she was essentially left to sit around, fix the Mako, and do whatever he told her to. Admittedly, they were sitting in his quarters, which wasn't the best of ideas, but he didn't care.

His quarters were sparse, with just a bed, desk, and bathroom. Corinthia had taken over his desk, datapads strewn everywhere and her omni-tool linked up to his screen to show readouts of each planet. Panels moved so quickly that he couldn't even focus on them, which was giving him a headache. At least she wasn't talking his ear off, but he found himself staring at how her brow furrowed when she was thinking, the curve of her neck and cheek...

Shepard caught himself and fell back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. He'd spent the time it took for the _Normandy_ to leave the Citadel and go floating around the Mass Relay convincing himself not to attempt to win her heart. He wasn't convinced that she saw him as a brother, not after how she's kissed him, but he still had the "L" word lurking in the corners of his mind. THAT was something he couldn't afford to get himself into; it was the point of no return.

He groaned. "Ci-Ci, will you stop fucking around and just tell me where the hell I should be going?"

She didn't answer immediately. "What? Oh, sorry, Shep," she answered after a moment. "What did you say?"

"Where. The. Fuck. Should. I. Be. Going," he repeated angrily.

"That's not my call. At all," she muttered, waving her omni-tool and causing the panels to show only the information on Feros. "Right. Here we've got a distress signal coming from the colony…" She played it, but it was only chatter. "And that's geth interference. I'll see if I can get it any clearer."

"I don't care. What's next?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Just get going."

"Right. Residual hang-over."

"Ci-Ci!"

"Fine, fine! Noveria's got geth all over it, too, and Therum is where Dr. T'Soni is." She shut down her omni-tool. "Other than that, there isn't much else that we know. Noveria's got the most ridiculous business security in the galaxy, so it'd take me a couple days to get in, and then there's nothing but Exogeni on Feros and Therum's just in the middle of nowhere. So, where do you want to go first?"

"Pick something, okay?"

"But —"

"Cassie!" he snapped, sitting up. "You know that I'm not a detective. I'm a soldier. Get me to a fight, that's all I care about."

She thought for a moment before shutting down all the screens and sitting next to him on the bed. "Fine, we're going to Feros. I'm not leaving a colony in distress."

"Fine," he replied, closing his eyes. He grunted when she elbowed him in the gut. "What the hell was that for?"

She grinned evilly. "Are you coming or do I get to fly the ship? Well, tell it where to go. Joker won't let me touch the real controls."

He shut his eyes, enjoying the warmth of her proximity. Despite having decided against pursuing her, he wasn't about to stop enjoying being with her. "Sorry, Ci-Ci. That's not happening."

"Aw…" She pouted. "But I wanted to play with the hologram…"

Shepard patted her arm. "You've got your omni-tool, don't you?"

Her eyes lit up deviously. "I could reprogram the Galaxy Map to appear there…"

"No!" Shepard growled. "I'll confine you to quarters."

She narrowed her eyes critically. "That's a pod."

The crew bunked in coffin-like, upright pods in eight-hour shifts. Shepard, being the commanding officer, got his own bed and a room to himself.

"Can't I stay in here with you? Please?" she continued, rolling onto her side and looking at him as pitifully as she could.

Shepard almost said 'yes', but he knew what it would mean. He'd more than enjoyed waking up next to her, but this mission wasn't about them.

"You're kidding," he answered darkly. He half-hoped that she wasn't, as that would be another indication that his feelings were returned.

"You have a bed and blankets," she replied. "And you're kinda fun to snuggle with — Wait, uh, forget I said anything." Her face turned bright red.

Shepard smirked. "So you were awake for that."

"Well, some of it, but I kinda thought it was a dream and... Yeah, it was my bed, too, so I had no idea what you were doing in there, you know?"

Shepard sat up, biting his tongue about how clueless she was. Admittedly, he couldn't remember getting into bed with her, but he remembered every heartbeat of when he'd woken up with her in his arms.

"If I had to guess, I'd say the sofa was too cold and you were the warmest thing in the apartment," he replied. "You aren't going to grill me on this, are you, Cassie?"

"No, I'm not," she answered quietly, biting her lip. "But I'll take that as a 'no.'"

"Everyone already thinks we're sleeping together, but, yeah, that's a 'no'." _What the hell is wrong with me? She's practically offering and I can't take her up on it._

Corinthia laughed. "Figures. Why can't a guy and a girl just be friends?"

"Because it never stays that way."

"It did with us, though, didn't it?"

He snorted. "I know that you liked me at one point or another."

"Well, yeah, it's kinda hard not to..."

Shepard swallowed the lump in his throat. "Is or was?"

She hit him playfully. "Not like you ever liked me back, so what's it matter?"

"I guess you have a point," he muttered. He ran a hand over his face. He needed to make a decision about where to go. Noveria seemed like a big waste of time to him, and he wasn't in the mood to save anything. Maybe this T'Soni woman would know something that could help direct him. He wasn't hung over anymore, but he wasn't sure that he was comfortable running head-first into a fight. Corinthia may have handled fighting a pussy like Fist, but if something was big enough for the Alliance to pick up, it was probably a big enough problem that Corinthia was going to be in real danger.

His gut clenched nervously. He didn't know if he could send her into a fight, even if he would be watching over her. But if he was doing that, he wouldn't be able to concentrate on the rest of the mission. He glanced at her. Her hair was out of her face, letting him see both her eyes and all her scars. He could've prevented all of them, even the ones from the Blitz, if only he'd been faster, stronger, better...

Maybe this Dr. T'Soni would be a hacker, like Corinthia. No, Shepard doubted that anyone would be able to take her place. He didn't want anyone to, either.

Still, one more body — one more capable body — wouldn't hurt. Shepard worked best with small, highly-trained, and highly-skilled teams. Sending other people into battle just got them killed, but small squads he kept alive and unharmed. Except for Corinthia. Damn it, why did she have to be the one to keep getting hurt? When was the last time she walked out of a fight and wasn't covered in her own blood?

Corinthia's hand came to rest on his shoulder. "You alright?" she murmured.

"You sure you're recovered?" he asked softly.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you took a bullet to the head, that's why." He hesitated before adding, "I'm worried about you."

"Yeah..." She sat up and pulled her feet up so that she could sit cross-legged on the bed. "I'm worried about you, too. I mean, I always am, but it just suddenly got ten times worse than normal."

He nodded. "I feel that."

"Did the stakes really get raised that much?"

"How the hell should I know? This isn't the same. We're hunting down one turian like he's going to destroy all of humanity."

"Do you think he can?"

Slowly, Shepard took her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. He wasn't sure, but he had a bad feeling that it could work. Taking Corinthia out of a fight wasn't an easy task, by any means, and the destruction on Eden Prime was much like that of the Blitz, but on a smaller scale. The geth weren't the most formidable enemy Shepard had fought, but they were unknown. Saren was unknown. That fucking leviathan of a ship of his was an unknown. If something could send chills up Shepard's spine, it didn't bode well for the galaxy.

"I don't know," Shepard breathed, for once not hiding how uncertain he felt.

Corinthia leaned against him slightly, covering his other hand with hers. "Meaning that he could."

"Yeah, meaning that he could," Shepard echoed. "Fuck, how the hell did we get into his mess?"

"You were so badass that they decided to make you a Spectre. Then I was apparently good enough to be considered for one, too, and then Saren decided to do something stupid on the planet we were going to."

"That isn't what I meant."

"Ah, you were being rhetorical..." She shrugged. "The only thing we can do, now, is get ourselves out of this mess, right? We can do this, John. I know you can. I'll be with you, every step of the way you know?"

Shepard released a slow breath. Again, he wanted to kiss her, but the urge wasn't nearly strong enough this time to make him try to do it. Instead, he released her hand and got to his feet. "Then we can't start on Feros."

Corinthia flexed her fingers, wishing that he hadn't let go. "Alright, so where do we start?"

Shepard was out the door already, though, and striding through the common area. Crewmen jumped aside, saluting and shuddering at the fiery look in his eyes. Corinthia realized that staggering out of his cabin probably wasn't the best idea about five seconds after she'd done it. Everyone stared at her, but she didn't care. At this point, she was almost used to it.

"Shepard?" she called. "SHEPARD? Damn it, are you even listening?"

Shepard was already standing before the Galaxy Map, hand flying through the interface as he tracked down whatever planet he was looking for. "Joker, set your course for Therum in the Artemis Tau System. We're going to find Dr. T'Soni."

"Aye, sir," Joker answered over the comm. "Plotting a course through the Mass Relay now. ETA to destination: nine hours."

Corinthia composed herself and waited for orders.

"Pressley, get me Williams, Alenko, Garrus, Wrex, and Tali. We're meeting in the comm room in an hour."

"Aye, sir." He saluted and headed towards the stairs.

Corinthia started fidgeting. She liked sitting in Shepard's room much better, but she felt weird lurking in there when he wasn't.

"Ci-Ci, comm room, now," Shepard growled.

She nodded and took the necessary steps backwards to open the doors. She moved too quickly and bumped into the green, rectangular, holographic panel that served as the controls. It beeped angrily and turned red.

She rubbed her smarting shoulder and stepped back to let it open properly. Shepard tried not to laugh, but he needed to concentrate.

"What's up?" she asked as soon as they were inside and alone.

He took a seat at the center of the room, facing the screen that just days before had projected the images of Eden Prime. "Get me everything you can on Therum. I'm not walking into another mission blind."

"Aye, aye, sir."

He leaned forward, clasping his hands together. He didn't like how she'd gone all formal on him, but it was a necessity and he knew it. Every interaction they had was making it easier and easier for him to forget the walls he was trying to put up around his heart. Now that he'd started looking for the affections she held, he could see them with almost every glance she gave him.

Except now she wasn't even looking at him. She had her omni-tool open and had managed to hook it up to the giant screen. For a moment, Shepard wondered if she was the Shadow Broker, considering how deftly she was gaining access to highly secure files. Then again, if she was the biggest and most secretive information dealer in the galaxy, what the hell was she doing with the Alliance?

Shepard had only seen her at work a couple of times before, but this was nothing like anything he'd ever seen. He couldn't see half of the things she did, and yet she seemed to scan information and process it all before moving on to another series of screens. She was completely focused, her attention never straying to him or anything else in the room. She barely even noticed as the others filed in.

"What's with her?" Wrex muttered to Shepard.

"She's working," Shepard replied.

Wrex snorted. "Seriously? Looks like she's just messing around to me."

"Do you want to get your ass handed to you?"

"Hmph. As if that'd happen to me. I am krogan!"

Shepard smirked. "Yeah, and I am Shepard."

Garrus crossed his arms. "What, are we all going to go down and have a sparring match, now, to determine who's the best?"

Alenko shrugged. "I don't know. I'd say it's a toss up between Shepard and Wrex."

"I vote we put Ci-Ci and Williams in the ring," Joker radioed.

Wrex laughed. "Hah! The females are always the fiercest of the species."

"Is that really true?" Tali asked shyly.

Williams snickered. "You bet your suited ass it is. These guys don't have anything on us."

Corinthia was hardly listening. Therum was remote, little more than a mining colony and a few excavation sites, but Prothean ruins had been discovered, so the security was top-notch. It wasn't anything she couldn't handle, but she needed more than the hour Shepard had given her.

"You done, yet, Ci-Ci?" Shepard demanded.

"No," she answered irately. "I need another couple hours."

"Damn it, Ci-Ci —"

"Look, I'll give you all that I've got now." She waved her omni-tool. An image of the planet appeared on the screen. "Therum's basically rock and lava. Dr. T'Soni is sitting at an old mine site that they converted to a dig site when they found Prothean ruins. Initial scans show no good drop zones for at least ten klicks in any direction. Haven't managed to figure out what kinds of enemies we're looking at because we're not in range for that stuff just yet and I haven't even started with the long range scanners yet. There hasn't been a report for nearly forty-eight hours from the dig crew, which leads me to think that there's something wrong down there." Corinthia gave Shepard a cursory glance before turning her attention back to the screen. "Alright, that's what I know for right now."

Shepard rubbed his eyes. "That's not much more than what the brief told us."

"You didn't give me much time, sir," she snapped.

"You're also the best damn hacker in the Alliance," Shepard answered calmly. "You're doing fine. Just sit down and calm down."

Corinthia really only turned formal when she was on edge, but she still settled into the seat next to him.

Across from her, Williams tried not to eye Corinthia's scars. They were brutal. How could she have survived without getting them removed? The way she smiled just made the lines go deeper into her face. They didn't go at all with her personality, but at the same time they made Williams feel barely a glimmer of camaraderie. Corinthia was tough, but beyond that, there was little left to the woman.

Williams didn't like Corinthia. The Lieutenant Commander was incapable of taking anything seriously, didn't treat anyone with respect, and had yet to do anything except hang on Shepard's every word. There was no good reason why she had been nominated for the Spectres, nor why she was still part of the crew. She smiled too damn much and looked like she was about to crack a bad joke instead of following orders.

"So, basically, we don't know what we're getting into," Garrus summarized.

"Basically," Shepard replied. "That a problem?"

"I can handle myself. It's Ci-Ci I'm worried about. She'll probably get distracted by something and go running off after it."

Corinthia laughed. "Yeah, probably, but then I'll be the one to find the critical piece of evidence that leads us to Saren or a new and shiny sniper rifle for you to play with."

Garrus smirked. "Well, if you bring me something, then you can go chasing as many shiny things as you want."

Everyone laughed. Even Sheaprd half-smirked. "Just remember that the pretty lava is hot," he cautioned.

Corinthia crossed her arms, frowning. "Yeah, yeah. Guess I'm keeping my shiny new sniper rifle to myself, eh, Garrus?"

The turian chuckled. "I bought that model two years ago. Careful, it shoots to the left."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "That so? I'll keep that in mind next time we get into a competition."

"Oh, you can count on that."

Shepard got to his feet. "Before we start making bets on who'll have the highest body count, there are still things we have to prepare for. I don't even know how big of a squad I'm taking in, so you'd best all get prepared."

Tali wrung her hands. "Prepared? As in we're going into a fight?"

"Don't worry, Tali, you'll be fine," Garrus assured her kindly. "I'm sure Ci-Ci won't let Shepard drag you into a fight unless you're ready for it."

"Oh, okay..." Tali didn't seem convinced and kept glancing at Shepard.

Honestly, the Commander had already decided to take Corinthia with him, but other than that, he wasn't sure. Wrex and Garrus had been good when they'd taken down Fist. Alenko was a good biotic, but Shepard was better. Williams had been determined and driven on Eden Prime, but he could tell by looking at her that she and Corinthia were not going to get along. And Tali... She'd just sort of appeared in the middle of a fight with some evidence and decided to tag along. Shepard had no idea what the quarian was capable of, or even if she could survive a rupture in her envirosuit.

Corinthia was back at the screen, fiddling with her omni-tool. Images of geth appeared. Within a few seconds, Tali was at her side.

"Wait, back up," Tali started.

Corinthia did.

"I've seen those before," Tali murmured. "Those are some of the weaker geth. They're the easiest to hack and take control of. I've done it a couple of times before. And those big ones? They're the worst. Their cannons can put a hole in any armor."

Shepard raised his eyebrows. "You know the geth?"

"My people designed them," Tali answered, her tone almost explanatory. "We have dreams of retaking our homeworld one day. Of course we know the geth. We study them, looking for weaknesses."

Suddenly, Tali seemed much more useful.

Corinthia's lips slowly turned into a smirk. "I couldn't get a thing out of their memory banks."

"They automatically wipe as soon as they are destroyed," Tali replied. "You have to be quick."

"You know how to use a gun, Tali?" Shepard asked lowly.

Tali hesitated. "Well, I mean, I've held a pistol before..."

Garrus stood. "C'mon, Tali. I set up a bit of a practice range in the cargo hold. I'll show you how to aim."

Shepard nodded. "Alright, dismissed. You'll have assignments when we're two hours out."

Everyone filed out, Wrex cracking his knuckles and growling, "You'd better let me fight, Shepard, or else I might knock some heads around here."

Corinthia lingered, eyes glued to the screen. Shepard released a long breath after everyone else was gone.

"Fuck," he groaned. He wasn't ready for this. Charging into a mission with almost complete strangers? Corinthia would be there, but at least she knew Garrus, but Shepard didn't need two snipers. With geth around, he needed tech experts, which meant Corinthia and Tali, or soldiers, which gave him Wrex or Williams. Alenko knew a little about electronics, but Shepard had a feeling that the Lieutenant was better suited to watching things back on the _Normandy_.

Of course, he could always send two teams...

"Garrus is sweet," Corinthia said absently.

Shepard's jealousy seethed and surfaced. "What was that?" he snapped.

"Garrus is sweet," Corinthia repeated, "for showing Tali the ropes. He's really a terrible turian, you know. He likes humans, for one."

"Like you?"

Corinthia blinked. "What? What are you talking about? Me and Garrus? Hah! That's funny." She laughed, clutching her sides as giggles overtook her. "I can see _that_ so clearly."

"Is that so?" Shepard murmured.

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "You alright, Shep?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Let me know if you find anything else."

He got to his feet and went back to his cabin. He didn't feel rested. The only night that he hadn't had nightmares about the beacon had been when he'd slept with Corinthia, but he doubted he could convince her to join him again, for whatever reason. Then again, she might. He'd watched her sleep a little and she'd looked so peaceful...

God, he needed to get her out of his head. Concentrate on Saren. Do _something_ other than wish he'd turned his face so that her lips would've caught his when they were in her apartment. He stripped and got into bed, fitfully drifting into sleep as he imagined what, exactly, it would be like to have her for his own.

* * *

><p><em>Pain. Horror. Agony.<em>

_Those are the only words that can possibly describe the first image of the beacon. A brief flash of a beautiful planet — green, developed, utopian — and then, in the blink of an eye, the paradise is destroyed, burning orange and red, flakes of ash floating everywhere as buildings burn, massive ships reaching with arms to envelop an entire building, red beams shooting out and taking thousands of lives..._

_Then, a creature, eyes glowing orange and skin flaking off like dead leaves, standing over a terrified being. The creature stares emotionlessly ahead as it rips out the throat of the being like the husks tried to do to the colonists on Eden Prime._

_A scream, long and bone-chilling. The being is struggling for life, trying to warn something — anything — that will listen, but the warning falls on deaf ears._

_The ship, floating silently in the air, a solitary eye glowing red as it readies an attack. An attack at the viewer._

_No one would survive._

_No one could survive._

_It is the end of all things._

Shepard woke, almost screaming. His heart was beating such a violent tattoo that he thought it would burst. He shivered in his cold sweat as he gasped in air. He'd just relived the beacon's vision and it was a hundred times worse than the first time and the images were burned into his mind, this time, so that, waking, he could see them.

He'd never felt this terrified before in his life. Even Corinthia's life-threatening situations weren't the same; the cold chill he'd felt had been fear, but at the same time he'd known he could get to her. This, though... There was _something_ else about it that was just wrong. He pressed hand over his ribcage, trying to calm his heart, but it wouldn't stop. What he'd seen had made all of his experiences look like an innocent game. This enemy — whatever it was — spelled doom for every living, breathing creature in the galaxy.

Shepard lay back down, attempting to sleep again, but he was wide awake. His heartbeat refused to slow, so he got out of bed and stepped into a cold shower. He let the icy water run over him for almost an hour, but the vision wasn't leaving. It was more confusing than ever and he was supposed to be gearing up for a mission. All he wanted to do was go to Corinthia, see if she could help him —

No, he couldn't do that to her. She didn't deserve to see what he had, even if she had mentioned feeling a little bit of it. If she could stay innocent for as long as he had, he wasn't going to take that away from her.

Still, someone had to know, and soon, or else Shepard feared that the vision was going to drive him insane. If Cassie was really going to be his only option, he wasn't sure what to do. She was the only person he could be weak around, really, and not think less of him.

He blinked, the ship appearing before his eyes. It wasn't any use: he had to find Corinthia and tell her everything. He'd watch her, make sure that she wasn't being hurt by it. After dressing, he headed down to the cargo bay. Wrex, Alenko, and Garrus were taking pot shots at a set of armor set up against a corner. Williams was huddled in front of a computer screen, having a murmured conversation with someone. Tali and Corinthia were nowhere to be seen, but from the giggling coming out of the engine room, they were bonding in there.

Alenko grinned. "Shepard! Wrex and Garrus are arguing who's the best shot and I keep telling them that you'd win any day."

Shepard tried to look smug, but he felt that he only succeeded in looking pained. Alenko's smiled faded a little and he left Garrus and Wrex's side.

"You alright, Commander?" Alenko asked quietly. "You look a little shaken."

For a moment, Shepard debated if he should brush Alenko off or tell him. Alenko seemed like a good guy, but Shepard didn't hang around good guys. Ever.

"Beacon," Shepard finally replied.

"Want me to find Ci-Ci?"

Shepard shook his head. "Not sure she'd get it."

"I think she would. She's got the right kind of heart to understand anything."

Shepard rubbed his eyes. "It's more than I don't want her to know. She'll worry too much."

"Everyone's worried," Alenko replied quietly. "At least, everyone that saw Eden Prime. They're worried about the geth and humanity. But Anderson and I know better. I saw what that beacon did to you."

"What about Ash?"

"She's worried about humanity, not you. She doesn't like anyone here much, so far as I can tell." Alenko scratched his head. "Seriously, Shepard, what did you see? I heard your summary, but that's nothing new to vets like us."

Shepard glanced around. "I'm not sure what exactly I saw, but it was the death of a species and the galaxy." He had a bad feeling about the ships he'd seen, like they were eerily familiar.

"If it's enough to shake you, then the Council did the right thing to make you a Spectre. That way we can hunt Saren down."

Shepard put his hand on Alenko's shoulder. "Exactly. What was that you said about a shooting competition?" Shepard needed something — anything — to get his mind off the nightmare.

Garrus rested his sniper rifle against his shoulder. "I've seen your biotics, but I want to see you use a real gun."

Shepard smirked, though it was strained. "You'd better start defining your terms, Vakarian, because I am a living weapon." He was trying to sound confident. Maybe he did, because neither Garrus nor Wrex seemed to notice that Shepard wasn't feeling himself.

Alenko stepped in. "Well, you'd better find something that everyone can use, Garrus, we because we all know you're the best sniper and I'm not going anywhere near Wrex when he had a shotgun out."

"Wise plan, human," the krogan growled.

Alenko picked up standard issue pistol. "How about this?"

Garrus, Wrex, and Shepard laughed.

"You kidding me?" Wrex guffawed. "That little piece of crap? Hah!"

Shepard eyed the pistol from Alenko's hands. It was standard issue for normal soldiers, not even the N7 stuff Shepard had. "You could at least pick a good one."

Alenko took aim and shot, hitting the armor's helmet directly between the eyes. "Seems fine to me," Alenko answered with a shrug, offering the pistol to Shepard.

Shepard blinked for a second. He wasn't quite in a good enough humor to laugh, but the mood was lifting. "And here I thought you were only a biotic, Alenko."

The Lieutenant grinned bashfully. "Nah, I just don't like showing off unless there's a point."

Garrus grabbed the pistol. "Hey, let me try that." His shot hit close to Alenko's, but off by a couple inches. "Well, he'd still be dead," Garrus excused.

Wrex snorted. "I'm not shooting that thing."

"Yeah, because it won't fit in your hand," Alenko teased.

"I thought you were afraid of me."

"Well, yeah, but your shotgun's aimed at the dummy."

Shepard could feel the nightmare receding as he relaxed. He picked up the pistol and shot, hitting the helmet as well, but not as accurately as Alenko.

"Round two," he ordered, handing Alenko the pistol again.

This time, Alenko was far off the mark. "Hey, that kinda looks like a mouth, doesn't it?" he asked, examining his handiwork.

"So was that first one a lucky shot?" Shepard asked.

"And here I'd hoped you wouldn't catch on," Alenko answered, winking.

"Catch on to what?" Corinthia asked, sliding to stand next to Shepard.

"That's he's just a lucky bastard," Shepard answered, trying to concentrate on the dummy and not the fact that she was barely four inches away from him. He could smell her shampoo.

"What'd he do? Hit it between the eyes?" she asked. For a moment, Shepard thought she was going to step forward to look at the armor, but instead she just raised her omni-tool to scan it. "Huh. Why are we shooting up Shepard's armor?"

"WHAT?" Shepard demanded. "Who said you could do that?"

Garrus and Wrex pointed fingers at each other.

"It wasn't labelled," Garrus started.

"Better than aiming at the crew," Wrex finished.

Corinthia touched Shepard's tattoo. "Seriously, Shep, you bought another set, remember? The onyx and crimson one?"

He glanced in her direction, a little surprised that she'd touched him, but feeling any of his anger recede into pleasure. Her eyes were glittering deviously and she was trying not to look smug, which in turn made her look nothing short of adorable.

"I didn't," he answered darkly. "I bought you the sniper rifle instead, remember?"

"Oh, well, I went back for it, then." She trotted to his locker and, with some effort, dragged out the armor case. "Oof, this is heavy. Why are you wearing heavy armor, again? I thought your biotics didn't work with it."

"It's not that they don't work, Ci-Ci, it's just that it's harder to move," he answered, opening the case. Corinthia had gone all out and bought him the best set of armor on the Citadel. She'd even managed to get them to emblazon the N7 special forces symbol on the chest piece. "You pay for this with my money or yours?"

"Mine," she answered. "I mean, I owe you for saving my ass on Eden Prime, don't I?"

He put his hand on her shoulder. "Thanks, Cassie."

"Anytime, Shep."

It took him a moment to remove his hand, his mind rushing back to the nightmare. He wanted to tell her, but at the same time he wasn't sure that he could.

She sensed his discord, it seemed, because she brushed her fingers against his. Maybe it was an accident on her part, but it was almost too perfectly timed to be anything else.

"You wanna talk about it?" she asked softly.

Shepard couldn't answer. He was seeing it again, but this time the creature with the glowing eyes was standing over her. He wanted to grab her, drag her into his arms and hold her, but instead his fists clenched and unclenched.

Corinthia took his hand and silently led him to the Mako. She shook her head in answer to Alenko's inquisitive look.

"What's with that?" Garrus asked.

"They don't want to be overheard," Alenko answered.

Garrus snorted. "I may not know much about humans, but isn't that usually what people do when they're trying to be... alone?"

"You know that this is Ci-Ci we're talking about, right?"

Garrus nodded. "Well, I'm no expert, but when a female constantly talks about a male, it's usually a sign."

Alenko didn't answer. It wasn't any of his business to go around sharing that Corinthia was into Shepard, especially since the nature of her relationship with the Commander continued to defy the bounds of friendship without actually crossing lines. Besides, there were regs to consider. They were both officers, but of different ranks. It wasn't allowed to happen. Then again, Shepard didn't care and Corinthia was constantly insubordinate with anyone she knew well enough to joke with.

Garrus toyed with his sniper rifle. "How much do you want to bet he and Ci-Ci will be — what do you humans call it? Lip-locking? — before we get to the next mission?"

Alenko raised an eyebrow. "It's against regs to gamble."

Garrus shrugged. "I'm not part of your military, so I don't see the harm in it. Besides, I'm pretty sure everyone already knows how it's going to end."

"And did she tell you she likes him?"

"It's less about her and more about Shepard. He practically threatened me after she hugged me," Garrus chuckled. "He doesn't know I don't go for humans."

Wrex snorted. "Humans," he growled and plodded off.

Alenko crossed his arms. "Fifty credits that it's longer than that."

"What makes you say that?"

"They've already been friends for a long time. Might take her a while to come around."

"You're on, Alenko."

Alenko and Garrus shook hands. "You're going down, Vakarian."

"Hah! That's what you think now, but you just wait."


	14. Past and Present Mistakes

**_A/N 5/29/2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, **Author's Explanatory Note: An Update**._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>8 May 2183 — Mako, Cargo Bay, <em>SSV Normandy<em>, en route to Therum, Knossos System, Atremis Tau Cluster**

Shepard lowered himself down through the hatch of the Mako. The ATV wasn't built for comfort, even if it had been upgraded and enlarged since the last time he'd been in one (Akuze). Actually, he wasn't sure what it was built for. There was enough room in the back to carry an entire squad, if necessary, but he somehow imagined putting a krogan and a turian in close quarters wouldn't end well.

Corinthia took a seat in the back, where they could actually look at each other, as he sealed the hatch.

"What's going on, Shepard?" she asked, concern flowing from her voice and gaze. "You look super pale and stuff."

He ran his hand over his head, taking a seat meant for an army grunt. He didn't want to tell her about the nightmare, but he had to tell someone. He trusted her more than anyone else. Alenko was right: if anyone could understand it was her. If anyone _had_ to understand, it was her.

"That beacon on Eden Prime..." he began, his voice catching. He didn't get nightmares, let alone ones that constantly flashed before his eyes, each worse than the one before. "I don't know what exactly it did to me, but it's fucking me up." He flexed his fingers before his eyes as if he could work the vision from his mind.

Corinthia caught his hands in hers. She didn't say anything, instead just waiting for him to speak. It was completely out of character for her, but he couldn't appreciate it more. She knelt in front of him, eyes never leaving his face and her look never changing from compassion to pity.

"It wasn't meant for humans," Shepard started, his voice barely a whisper. "It had all these feeling that went with it, too. Things I don't feel. Like —" He swallowed hard before he could bring himself to finish, "It just felt wrong... Pain, horror, terror, whatever the fuck you call it. Hopelessness. It was like being stuck in with the Reds again, like I couldn't escape even though I had to." The image of Corinthia being attacked struck him again. He tightened his grip on her hands, but it wasn't enough. He interlaced his fingers with hers. "Damn it, Cassie, if only you'd seen... No, I don't wish you had, because it's terrible, but if you had you'd understand just what this is doing to me."

She shook her head. "No, I get it, John, really, I do," she murmured. "You've just never been scared before, have you?"

"No, I have. Once. When you were shot."

She bit her lip. "This... What exactly are you seeing? You can't be dreaming about me getting hurt, can you? That shouldn't mess you up this much."

"That's part of it. Damn it, Cassie, just stop acting so oblivious for five seconds. I _care_ about you. You're my friend. My only friend. I _can't_ lose you."

Corinthia averted her gaze and she blushed slightly. "John, I care about you, too. But you know I'm tough. I'll be fine."

He loosed his grip from hers and touched the scar on her temple. "You sure about that?"

"This isn't about me right now. This is about you. What did you see? Please, tell me. I want to know. I want to help."

Shepard dropped his fingers from her face and idly ran them along her arm. Her skin was so smooth and warm. He didn't understand why it was, either. Thankfully, she didn't seem uncomfortable with his touch, although if she was, she was hiding it out of deference to him.

"John?" she asked after a long moment.

"I watched the galaxy be torn apart," Shepard started quietly, his voice hardening with resolve. "Monsters were tearing people limb from limb. Paradise was turned into Hell. And then there was this ship... I don't know how to explain it, but it seemed alive. Watching, waiting. Killing thousands in a single shot." Shepard took a deep breath. Talking about it was calming him because now it wasn't just his burden to bear. She knew, which meant she could understand.

Corinthia frowned. "So why did Saren want that in his head?"

Shepard blinked. He'd expected a hug or a sympathetic word, but not that. "What?"

"Saren almost killed me trying to get what that beacon had on it. Why? It doesn't make sense. He must've at least had some idea what he was looking for." She straightened and sat next to him, not taking her hand out of his. "But that never occurred to you?"

"No," Shepard answered truthfully.

"Take a deep breath, John," she ordered. "It was just a vision. Concentrate on what's real."

Shepard stared at their hands. Her touch was concrete enough, but it brought more questions along with its comfort. She wasn't shying away from him. They'd shown more open affection for each other in the last forty-eight hours than they had in almost their entire relationship.

"You're real," he started.

She nodded. "Alright. So's the Mako, the shooting competition outside, the _Normandy..._"

Shepard shook his head. "You're good enough for now."

She blushed and looked away. "John..."

"Just deal with it, Cassie. You calm me down. Make me forget all the bad shit that's happened to me."

"Sure. If you say so."

Shepard had forgotten how little she knew about his past, even though she knew more about him than anyone else. He'd already told her about the dream, so he couldn't talk about the Reds, not yet. He'd committed so many sins with them that he was positive she would never be able to forgive him for any of them. Then again, she'd have to know before he even tried to be with her —

No, he wasn't going down that path, even though it beckoned all the more powerfully than ever before. He couldn't deny how wonderful it felt to have her sitting close to him, fingers comfortably interlaced with his. After he'd told her the nightmare, his other ones were bursting to come out, to become a part of their combined realities.

If she listened, if she didn't reject him, then maybe he could allow himself to hope. It wouldn't make him good enough for her, but he wouldn't feel like he was hiding something. He never really had, but he had this deep, feral urge to be as close to her as possible. If that meant spilling about his past, he was going to do it, and if he lost her... He wasn't going to think about it. He'd win her back, if he had to.

"Do you want to know?" he asked quietly.

"Know what?" she answered.

"About the Reds."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. Shepard had never offered up any information about them, other than that he'd been a part of them before he'd joined the Alliance. She inhaled deeply, thinking hard. Her natural curiosity begged her to know, but at the same time she knew that she wouldn't like a word of what she heard.

So, there was only thing she could do: Decide to give him a big hug as soon as he was done talking and not care a bit about what he'd done.

"Yes, I do," she gently replied, squeezing his hand encouragingly and indicating that she wasn't going to let go.

Shepard took a deep breath. Once he started speaking, there was no going back.

"Are you sure?" he asked one last time. "I did some really fucking bad shit. You have no idea who I am, what I've done, what I will do. This makes Torfan look like a joke."

"Tell me, John," she murmured, offering him a smile.

"Alright." He hesitated for just a moment longer before starting from the beginning. "Never knew my parents. Never even knew my real name, except maybe the John part. Got left on a playground when I was three. Kid named Thorum found me a few days later, took me in. Nice kid, but jaded. Don't know why he helped someone my age. Pity, maybe. By eight I was an expert thief and escape artist. There were a lot of us running around the streets, all keeping each other alive. Then the Reds moved in. I was ten. I was stupid and tried to steal from them. When I fought back, they decided to take me in. I never did see Thorum again."

Shepard paused, taking a breath. "The Reds trained me, turned me from a scared thief into a fighter. I was one of their best enforcers by the time I was fourteen. That's when the crash happened. Eezo all over some part of Vancouver. I was there when it happened, got hit by a whole bunch of it. And then..." He raised a hand, the biotic energy flowing a nebulous blue around it. "Then I was the Reds's number one enforcer," Shepard continued. "Got into a lot of stuff with that: drug dealing, fights , gang wars, assault. Stood by and did nothing when the guys... took women."

Shepard felt Corinthia stiffen a little, but she still didn't let go of him.

"Ste — My boss, he tagged me when I was sixteen. Made me one of them for life. I decided that I'd take over, but then..." He studied his feet. "I did a lot of bad shit, worse than anything before. I killed — no, murdered hundreds of men. I smuggled anything from drugs to people, slaves. Started gang wars, ended gang wars. Used women left and right. Shoot first, never leave a witness, no survivors, all of that shit. Torture, execution, bribery, back-stabbing, betrayal. Put bullets in the backs of more than a few Reds. Nobody fucked with me."

Now he could feel her discomfort. He knew that this would happen, but he wasn't going to stop now.

"The Alliance raided our base in L.A., took me prisoner. The Reds let them take me, too. They fitted me with L3s and agreed not to press charges. I was pissed after that. Took me a while, but I got back at the Reds. Waited until I was eighteen, killed their boss, and destroyed their base in LA. From there, I walked into the Alliance recruiting center, and then you met me a few years later."

Shepard waited. It seemed like forever before Corinthia leaned her head against his shoulder and murmured, "So that's your story, then?"

"Yeah, that's my story."

"Oh."

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh?" he repeated. "That's it?"

She sat up. "What else do you want me to say, John? That I saw it coming? Fact is, I didn't. At all. I always thought you were better than that, above it all. You don't act like any of it, and now..." She took a deep breath, looking away. "I don't know. It made you, but it isn't who you are. Or maybe I just imagined you were a thousand times better than you actually are."

He toyed with her fingers. She was still tense, maybe even repulsed. He could lie and tell her that he'd moved beyond all of that darkness, but he hadn't. It was still there, every thrill from every kill, every rush after single-handedly annihilating his enemies. The Reds had turned him into a fighting machine. A monster.

"Do you see why I didn't want to tell you?" he said slowly. "I knew you'd hate me."

She shook her head. "No, I can't hate you," she answered quietly. She shifted, pulling her fingers out of his so that she could hug him. "I think I've passed the point of no return on that part."

Shepard blinked, unsure of how to react. He'd expected screaming, a slap, and then maybe her asking him to never bring it up again, but a hug? On their own accord, his arms encircled her waist. He pressed his face into her throat, breathing in as if she were the only oxygen in the Mako. She wasn't happy, but she didn't hate him. No, she didn't say that. She said she _couldn't_ hate him and something about a point of no return.

Shepard's stomach plunged. He didn't want to dare to think that she was in love with him, but that was exactly what it sounded like.

As if in a dream, Corinthia lightly kissed his cheek.

His carefully fortified walls fell down in a heartbeat. Before he knew what he was doing or could stop himself, he'd caught her chin and turned so that his lips were pressed against hers. She stiffened in his arms, jerking back in shock. Shepard realized what he'd done when she broke his grasp and staggered into the seat across from him, sucking in air.

"John? What the — I mean, what the _fuck_?" she gasped, her face flushing crimson.

Shepard didn't have an answer. He'd imagined the moment going somewhat differently, he had to admit, but he hadn't planned on kissing her right then, either.

"Cassie, I'm so sorry," spilled out of his mouth.

She ran her fingers through her hair. "No, don't be," she whispered. She pressed her palm over her chest. "Just... how long have you, you know...?"

"That I've known about? My birthday. In reality? One hell of a lot longer." Shepard was embarrassed, but that wasn't strong enough of a word. Mortified. He'd gone and kissed her, fucked up their friendship for good. Broken the unspoken pane of glass that kept their friendship from being more. He took a deep breath. "And you? Do you..."

"Yeah," she answered, turning a deeper shade of red.

"How long?"

"Always."

He stood. "So why did you break it off?"

She met his eyes, giving him his answer: She was frightened. Maybe it was of him, or maybe of the repercussions for being with him, but she was scared.

"John..." she started weakly.

He knelt in front of her, taking her hands. She jerked away, not keen on his touch. He should've known, after assaulting her like that, but she'd never really shied away from him in years.

"You know I couldn't just say something. It wouldn't have been right," he told her. He hesitated before adding, "If you don't want to..."

"I... I don't know," she replied. "An hour ago you were all perfect, but after what we just talked about." She bit her lip. "I don't know."

Shepard had expected confusion; it was a natural state of being for her. Still, to actually _hear _it was making his hackles rise. Because it wasn't acceptance, it was therefore rejection. He'd just trusted her with all but his deepest, darkest secret and she couldn't even handle a kiss? Handle the knowledge that he cared about her?

Corinthia shook her head. "I'm so sorry, John," she whispered. "But I can't..."

"I get it," Shepard growled, rising.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated.

"Don't apologize. I'm so fucking tired of hearing you say that. I get it, okay? To even think about it — there being an us — was ridiculous. We're too different; I'm the fucking Butcher and you're just so goddamn naive. Stupid idea, stupid fucking situation. I never should've told you about the Reds, about any of that." He ran his hand over his head, his instinct to apologize for snapping, but he couldn't. He didn't want to forgive her for rejecting him. He didn't even want to think about forgiving himself for taking advantage of her. It was just as stupid to push all the blame onto her, but he was angry and, whenever that happened, he was completely innocent of all wrong.

A long pause followed while Corinthia gathered her thoughts. Shepard was still standing with his back to her, but she was afraid that he'd round on her at any moment and do something else. Corinthia, feeling smaller than she ever had before, pulled her knees against her chest, not sure what to say. One one hand, her heart was still racing with joy because Shepard had kissed her. On the other, she wasn't sure what to do with him. There had been moments, albeit brief, where she'd hated him. It had taken a great deal of her compassion to hug him after his admission, mostly because of how frightened he'd made her. Her greatest fear was that he'd create another Torfan or lose himself in a fight, and there he'd gone and practically told her how much he revelled in evil...and this outburst truly scared her.

She was confused, to say the least. She did want to be with Shepard, but to have something that had only exist in her fantasy world suddenly jolt into her reality wasn't easy to swallow. Nor could she put her feelings into words. To calm him down, to get what she wanted. The best answer now, though, was nowhere to be found.

Shepard met her eyes. He wanted to ask if she'd had enough time, but he knew she hadn't. She probably needed space, too. He knew that he would in order to deal with the rejection.

"You still want to come along to Therum?"

"Your call, Commander."

That was the final nail in the coffin. She'd called him by his rank, not his name, not even his last name. It was over. He didn't have a chance.

"Stay behind, then. Alenko, Vakarian, and Wrex will be good enough."

Corinthia bit her lip. "Shepard..."

"What?" he answered coldly.

"I really am sorry, you know?"

He wasn't going to let himself soften to her. He needed to overcome it. "Yeah, whatever."

* * *

><p>Garrus, Wrex, and Alenko clambered into the Mako. Williams hadn't even bothered to say anything (although she looked surly), whereas Tali was giving Garrus last-minute instructions on hacking the geth and recovering memory data. Garrus looked like he was trying to understand all the technical jargon, but his answers revealed that he probably didn't understand it at all.<p>

"Do you just want to come?" he irately asked Tali.

She shook her head quickly. "Oh, no. I don't think I'm ready for that kind of mission just yet. Maybe some other time?"

Shepard didn't respond, instead sliding through the hatch and glancing around. Alenko was in the passenger seat, leaving Shepard to drive.

"You're kidding me," he muttered.

"Figured you'd like to be in control, Commander," Alenko replied with a shrug.

True enough, Shepard was the one calling the shots, but he hadn't imagined he'd be driving the Mako. He slid into his seat.

"Fuck this shit," he muttered.

"Where's Ci-Ci?"

"Not coming. Gave her some duties aboard the _Normandy_, shit like that."

Alenko raised his eyebrows. He'd seen Shepard get out of the Mako and practically storm back to his quarters. Well, everyone on the _Normandy_ had heard him. When Corinthia emerged about half an hour later, she just said that she'd pissed him off and left it at that. It wasn't easy for her to piss off the Commander, but she'd been lurking in the engine room ever since with Tali and refusing to come anywhere near Shepard. She'd blushed at the mere mention of his name.

"Huh. Well, I'm sure we won't need her."

In the back, Garrus, looking on edge, was sitting across from Wrex. The krogan was hunched practically in half, wedged into a tiny seat, a murderous grimace stretched across his lips.

"Just get us going, Shepard," Wrex growled.

Alenko nodded. "Yeah. I don't want to be in here when they decide to take out their claustrophobia on each other."

"Joker, we're ready for drop," Shepard radioed.

"_Roger that,_" Joker replied. "_ETA two minutes. Hey, so I heard you and Ci-Ci were alone in the Mako for almost an hour."_

"Mention that again and I will personally break every bone in your body. You got that?" Shepard hissed.

"_Understood, Commander. I can get you about fifteen klicks from the last known location of Dr. T'Soni._"

"Whatever. Just drop us."

Shepard put on his helmet. He had to admit, even if he'd been slightly pissed at Garrus for using his old armor as target pracitce, his new suit was twenty times better. It didn't even feel like heavy armor and Corinthia had done something so that it actually helped his biotics along. Unfortunately, it lacked the carbon scoring, scratches, and burns that marred his old suit. Shepard honestly missed them. They were reminders of all the times he'd escaped death — scars that weren't on his skin.

Still, breaking in new armor was always fun. His stomach twinged because Corinthia had given it to him, but he wasn't going to ditch a perfectly good piece of equipment because she'd been the one to pay for it. Besides, she'd probably come crawling back and beg to reconcile. She always did, but, then again, this wasn't like the other times. Every time before, he'd been the one to fuck up and she'd just ignored it or waved it off. This time, though, he wasn't sure if he'd done wrong or she had. Actually, it had probably been him. After all, he'd been the one to kiss her, to take advantage of her.

_I'm a fucking bastard, _he thought. He'd apologized already, but frankly he'd been just as shocked that he'd kissed her as she was.

"_One minute. Opening the bay doors now._"

Outside the Mako, soldiers scrambled into the elevator or engine room so that they wouldn't get caught in any secondary exposure. Even though the _Normandy_ used mass effect fields to keep gravity and air in, it was better safe than sorry.

_"Thirty seconds, Commander_."

Shepard tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "Anyone been in a drop before?" he called.

Alenko nodded. "Yeah. I made sure not to eat."

Wrex laughed. "Hah! Bring it on!"

Garrus nodded. "Well, I can't let myself be more scared than a krogan, so I'll just sit back and relax." He propped his ankle on his knee and rested his sniper rifle across his thighs.

Shepard turned on the Mako's engine with a roar and eased it up to the edge of the cargo bay door. Joker gave the word and the Mako was free falling towards the black and orange ground — specifically, to the orange glow that was lava.

"Fucking shit!" Alenko shouted, grabbing on for dear life.

Right when it seemed like they were going to crash, Shepard applied the thrusters, sending them to the right and landing safely on the hard, black ground. The Mako shook and bounced, but no one was hurt.

"Everyone alive?" Shepard asked, smirking. He enjoyed drops for the adrenaline rush.

Garrus was in the same position as before, although he looked tense, and Wrex was shaking his head.

"Give us some warning next time," Wrex growled.

Shepard laughed, turning to Alenko. "'Fucking shit'?" he repeated. "What kind of a curse is that?"

"Sorry, Commander, don't curse that often," Alenko excused.

Shepard deftly maneuvering the Mako forward. Therum's surface was riddled with volcanoes and rivers of molten rock. If something wasn't black and barren, it was glowing read and orange. The sulfurous fumes were enough to suffocate anyone in a matter of minutes. The only way to withstand the heat was to be in an envirosuit, and even then it didn't work for very long.

The Mako was designed to drive over anything, but the crew inside still felt every bump and jolt. Shepard had a strong stomach, but even he was starting to feel nauseated.

A blue, swirling laser ball hit the ground, mere feet away from one of the Mako's tires.

"Get on the gun, Garrus," Shepard ordered. "Geth."

Garrus was already on his feet and moving to the turret. Alenko's fists flared with biotics as he readied to put a barrier up around them at any moment. Wrex took out his shotgun and gritted his teeth.

"Can't this thing move any faster?" he growled.

Shepard didn't answer. Between avoiding shots from the geth, the rugged terrain, and the lava rivers, he was having enough trouble keeping the Mako in one piece as it was without zooming along at an ungodly pace.

It took them two hours, but they finally wiped out the geth threat. Shepard parked the Mako. "Everyone out. We're on foot from here."

Wrex was the first one on the ground. Maybe out of repressed aggression, he let off his shotgun at the rock wall. Garrus raised an eyebrow.

"Good thing I was on the gun," he muttered.

Alenko checked the Mako. "Commander, the Mako's pretty badly busted. If we want to use it, we'll have to stay back and repair it."

Shepard landed on the black ground with a thud. "Then fix it. Vakarian, Wrex, follow me. Let's go kill some geth."


	15. The Doctor

**_A/N 5/29/2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, **Author's Explanatory Note: An Update**._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>8 May 2183 — <em>SSV Normandy, <em>orbiting Therum, Knossos System, Artemis Tau Cluster**

Finding a place to hide on the _Normandy_ wasn't easy. Most everyone was at their station, so really the only place that she could be alone was in the ducts or in the science lab at the back of the medical bay. She ignored Dr. Chakwas and settled herself into a corner, trying to calm her mind down enough to actually process what had happened.

Honestly, it hadn't even been much of a kiss; she'd jerked back before she'd been able to count to two. If she hadn't felt his tongue on her lips, she might've thought it was an accident, but then again his eyes had been closed and he'd looked... She didn't know what the right word was. His expression had almost been like it had been the last few times she'd kissed his cheek — that strange look of contentment that bordered on happiness — before it'd flashed to disappointed anger, finally coming to rest on sheer horror.

If he hadn't known what he was doing at first, he did at the end. Corinthia was still confused as to even _how _he'd gotten the idea that she wanted him to kiss her, because she had, although it had only really played out as a scenario in her personal fantasy world. Maybe, just maybe, if she'd seen it coming, she couldn't have freaked out.

Then again, no one had ever even tried to get that close to her before. Shepard was just... Shepard. Her best friend, not boyfriend. He'd never even tried anything until the day before. Maybe the whole Spectre thing had gone to his head, let loose some sort of primal instinct that his upbringing had trained him to hide.

Even though she'd known about him being in the Reds from before, actually hearing him talk about it — even with the few details he'd given — had been bone-chilling. Her idealistic mind had assumed that he'd used the Reds to escape dying on the streets, because he'd been cornered into joining, or something that excused his cold and ruthless nature.

Instead, his story had only confirmed that his nature had always been exacting and cruel. He might have been cornered to start with, but he'd still chosen to run with them, become one of their best (why did he do that with everything he touched?), and decided to _take over _the gang.

Shepard kept his ambition to himself, so Corinthia barely even knew that he had any until he'd talked about the Spectres. Well, maybe 'ambition' had too much connotation to it. Shepard was so confident that he simply assumed that he'd get whatever he wanted —

Corinthia's heart skipped a beat. He wanted her; it was the only explanation. She didn't know if that thrilled her or terrified her. There hadn't been enough time for her to register if she even liked the kiss or not, let alone how it made her feel other than more confused than she ever had been in her entire life. Everything that she'd known about him, he'd shattered. Worse, he'd known what his past would do to her, had warned her — multiple times — and she'd been stupid enough to ask for details. It didn't contradict who he was; it explained _how _he was, and Corinthia had been too naive to guess.

So, even if she had wanted the kiss, wanted him, the fact was that her image of him had been completely destroyed and she didn't know what to put up in its place. She'd seen him as a knight errant, but that wasn't an option any longer; he didn't have enough nobility or honor to be one. So, then, what was he? A monster? Psychopath? Sadist? She had no idea. Hell, she wasn't even sure she knew him anymore...

How could he have been so heartless? Revelled in his crimes? She didn't understand. He hadn't sounded like it when he'd spoken about it, but he'd done enough to warrant a death sentence back on Earth, not to mention never, ever being accepted into the Alliance at the time. He must have had to forge all kinds of papers to do it, not to mention get a hacker to wipe his record clean. And leaving the Reds over betrayal seemed a little hypocritical, especially because he mentioned killing their boss.

Then again, maybe that had been his first step to redemption — well, that was a bit strong of a word, but it was the best she could think of. He was the paragon of humanity, although he acted far more like a renegade with his disregard for anyone with undeserved authority. Of all the high-ranking officers, Hackett and Anderson were the only two Shepard tolerated. Then again, Hackett had, in a sense, cornered the Admiralty into letting him give out Shepard's missions, and then Anderson was Shepard if the Commander's good nature outweighed his cold, jaded one.

Oh, she didn't know what to think. Finally, after so long, she understood why he was how he was, even though he was capable of so much more. Why he had such trouble accepting that she could essentially deal with any- and everything he did —

Her stomach plunged. She didn't have any other choice but to stop agonizing about his past. Although she'd never said it aloud, she'd promised herself a long time ago to do everything in her power to keep Shepard as a friend. It had been for a silly reason, so silly that she'd forgotten what her reason was, but she couldn't do that to him. He'd shown his ultimate trust in her by telling her about the Reds and she couldn't just betray that by shying away from him.

Corinthia shivered, remembering how clinically he'd spoken about his past. She had to admit, though, that it was probably the only way he could. After all, he hadn't mentioned it to anyone but her. She wished that he hadn't been lying when he'd said that she was his only friend, but he was too withdrawn to let himself close to anyone. Of course, now that she thought about it, she had no idea why they were even close at all? A series of bad experiences? She never would have altered her assignments if she hadn't thought they were friends.

Well, that wasn't true. She liked serving with him... She liked him. Had liked him, then. She had been a young officer, completely inexperienced with humans, and he had, in a sense, taken her under his wing during the Blitz. Not knowing what else to do, she'd latched onto him, especially after Akuze, when they'd really started to become friends. As personable as she was, she didn't make them often. Within the Alliance, she was an outcast because she wasn't jaded, gruff, or soldier-like at all. To this day, she didn't understand why Shepard had decided to watch over her, but she didn't regret it in the least.

He was all she had, just like she was all he had. The only difference was that he'd realized it first. Although her friend, and admittedly her biggest crush, she'd always half-way imagined life without him. Now, though, she began to count how many times she would've died if he hadn't been there, if he hadn't cared about her. After getting to twenty, she stopped counting, because she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she needed him, probably more than he needed her. If he needed her at all. Wanted? Clearly, but needed? She wasn't sure she'd ever know. He was so strong that allies were almost baggage instead of actual assets.

So, what she wanted to know was when (and if) she'd stopped being an asset and become something else. Akuze? Torfan? Or some mundane moment that neither of them could even remember? And then, probably more importantly, when had 'friend' become more than that? _How_ had he even gotten the idea that she wanted more? She'd tried her damnedest to hide it, but what would have driven him to kiss her?

Unless, of course, it was her he'd wanted, regardless of how she felt. Ever since Torfan, he'd tried to "treat her like she deserved", as he'd put it. And he'd worked his ass off to do it, although he'd messed up more and more... Or, at least, he'd started acknowledging that he messed up. He'd even apologized. Had he ever done that before? To anyone? If he hadn't, then that meant...

Corinthia didn't want to think about it — about how much she had to mean to him. It was embarrassing and unnerving. In her mind, she didn't really belong with anyone. She didn't fit with anyone, except maybe Shepard, and even then he was too much for her, or anyone, really.

As often as she imagined them being together, the pieces never really fit together. Well, they'd started to, now that Shepard had done something about it, but it hadn't been right. It was less that he'd kissed her and more of why he'd chosen to do it. But, maybe, it was less about her and more about him. In the moment that she'd kissed him, he'd been vulnerable. Truly vulnerable. His armor had been stripped off, leaving nothing to protect him from whatever he was feeling.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and remembering everything that she could about the moment his lips had touched hers — how her heart had raced, how soft his lips had been, how she'd jerked back out of instinct rather than true desire, because in the end she wished that she'd been brave enough to kiss him back.

Then again, maybe she'd ruined everything with him. He didn't take rejection, nor had he ever been rejected — well, except for his family. How could anyone have done that? She tried not to giggle at the image of baby Shepard, but at the same time she couldn't envision him at any age without blood or bruises all over his body.

However, his story told her just how lonely he'd been for his entire life. She couldn't abandon him, even if she wasn't sure if she could be with him or not.

It wasn't for lack of wanting him; she'd liked him for ages and ages. It was more that she wasn't sure it would work. Lately, they'd argued almost constantly about more and more sensitive subjects. They'd been drifting closer and closer together (physically) and, now that she thought about it, it was only a matter of time before one of them toed the romantic line. She'd worked so hard not to, but Eden Prime had shaken him so badly that she'd _had_ to let something show. In retrospect, maybe it was a bad idea, but it was too late to take anything back.

What if Shepard wanted to take the kiss back? Could she even let him? No, she'd have to let him call the shots. Okay, not completely, because she had no idea what would happen if he had his way. He could be as impulsive as she was when his blood was pumping, except that he also became reckless and stopped caring about anyone else.

That wasn't entirely true, though. On Torfan, he'd gone out of his way to save her and keep her alive, even when other soldiers were falling like flies.

Corinthia groaned. Everything always circled back to Torfan. It was Shepard's coup de maitre — his masterwork. He hadn't been in charge of the mission, but he'd taken control and gotten the job done. Shepard had shown her a glimpse of the demon within when they'd stormed the caves, too. At the time, she'd thought it attractive, but over time the memory had come to frighten her. She wasn't sure she could live with someone whose heart was black — or, even if it wasn't black, that struggled with doing the right thing.

No, that wasn't the right way to put it. Shepard knew what was right; he'd been trained to do that. Even if his actions hadn't been particularly noble (since that was the only word Corinthia could think of), they'd still accomplished something for the greater good — well, as good as the Alliance could be.

In the end, Shepard wasn't a bad man; he just didn't know how to be kind, gentle, or compassionate. A dark knight, maybe, although the 'knight' part was still questionable. If he'd been as terrible as he made himself out to be, he would have left her helpless during the Blitz, left her behind on Akuze, let her die on Torfan, never bothered to save her on Eden Prime... Even if every instance of "good" had been directed at her, the fact was that it was still there.

The more she thought about it, the less his past bothered her. She understood why he'd kept it a secret — and she wasn't about to breathe a word to anyone else about it — and the fact was that the only thing it had done was help shape him. It had long since ceased defining him. For everyone who didn't know him, Torfan was his defining moment.

But for Corinthia? It had been when they'd gone out after Torfan, how he'd awkwardly tried to compliment her, walked her half-drunken booty home, sat through a terrible science fiction vid, and then let her cuddle up next to him during it. He'd been trying so hard to reconcile with her that it was almost laughable.

Not, though, it was her turn. She'd be falling all over herself to apologize, she just knew it. And Shepard probably wouldn't take it, either. She'd never actually wronged him, not really. She'd been silly and said things, but it wasn't the same as doing something to him or managing to hurt his feelings.

As much as she wanted to reconcile, she wasn't sure she could. They'd be seeing each other whether they liked it or not and they'd have to deal with it before the end, probably sooner rather than later, too, for the crew's sake.

"So this is why there are fraternization rules," Corinthia murmured. This was why Anderson had warned her. But, then again, he'd asked her to watch over him, so she had to, didn't she? They were best friends, after all, whether they liked it or not.

* * *

><p><strong>Outside the Mines, Therum <strong>

Shepard ducked into cover. It had been one thing to take down a geth armature in the Mako, but on foot it was nothing short of impossible. The armature looked like a four-legged geth, except that it stood twenty-five feet high and shot mass effect fields at everything in its path.

Wrex and Garrus were picking off the other geth. Shepard hadn't expected a krogan to be a biotic, but Wrex was. He'd throw geth into the air and take them out with his shotgun. Garrus shot out the flashlight-like heads one by one, leaving Shepard to figure out how to take down the armature. So far, he didn't have many ideas. Corinthia was the one he fought the big-ass fucking monsters with.

Shepard dismissed her from his mind. It wasn't the time.

"Vakarian! Think you can hit that thing's head?" Shepard shouted.

Garrus nodded. "Hell, yeah," he answered. "Wrex, you can have the rest. Shepard and I are taking the big one."

Wrex smirked. "It's still only one, no matter how big it is."

Shepard took a deep breath. He hadn't been using his biotics any more than normal, but his concentration was all over the place. Singularities landed meters off target and his throws, lifts, and pulls were over- or underpowered. It was as if he didn't have an amp at all, but he could feel it overheating after almost every use to the point that he had to take nearly a full five minutes to let it cool.

_Fuck you, Cassie_.

After carefully gauging the scene, he put a singularity as close to the head of the armature as possible.

"FUCKING HELL!" he yelled as the singularity zipped past the head and away into the mountains.

Garrus was peppering the armature with shots, every one hitting it directly in the flashlight. "I could use some help wish the shields, Shepard."

The Commander was already surging forward. "Enraged" was an understatement. Nothing had gone his way in the last twenty-four hours and his emotions were still running high from his... indiscretion with Corinthia.

Wrex and Garrus both stopped fighting as Shepard flashed by, his biotics surging so powerfully that he was almost teleporting.

"Why the hell didn't I think of that?" Wrex muttered, shocked.

Shepard hit the armature, knocking it back ten feet and taking out the shields. Before it could recover, he drew his shotgun and fired into its core until it creaked, swayed, and collapsed in a pile of dust.

Shepard cracked his neck. His head was pounding, his amp overheated. It wasn't enough to give him a nosebleed (he hadn't gotten one of those since he'd been with the Reds), but it was enough to make him struggle to stay on his feet.

"Damn, Shepard," Garrus mused, holstering his sniper rifle. "No wonder why the Alliance calls you a one-man army."

Shepard shrugged, glad he had his helmet to conceal his face. He was gasping for air, vainly attempting to calm his racing heart, and trying to dismiss Corinthia from his mind before she ruined his biotic abilities any more.

Wrex gritted his teeth. "You'd best start sharing secrets, Shepard," he demanded.

"Get pissed and run," Shepard answered darkly, although he was telling the truth. He'd never attack Corinthia, but everything he'd pent up about her had come out. Worse, he didn't feel any calmer. If anything, he felt like he needed her all the more.

"_Shepard, I've got the Mako back online,"_ Alenko radioed. "_Need me to join you?_"

"Do whatever the hell you want," Shepard replied, switching his shotgun for his assault rifle.

"_I'll be right there_."

Shepard unintentionally released a sigh of relief. He was feeling tired and wasn't sure he could finish the mission up to par. Alenko was a good biotic; he could cover Shepard's back.

Garrus and Wrex seemed unaware that Shepard wasn't at full power. They'd only worked with him once and it had been a breeze of a mission. Corinthia had been there as well, fighting next to him like she always did. It had been so long since he worked without her that he's almost forgotten how hard it was to adapt to someone else's fighting style. Luckily, Garrus was pretty close, except that he found bird's nests and didn't do a thing to jam enemy radio transmissions.

Shepard opened his radio, debating hailing her and getting her to do something from the _Normandy_, but he couldn't do it. He wasn't ready to talk to her just yet, even if she could help him. After, maybe, when he'd thought through what he did have to do —

No, first things first they had to get to T'Soni. He'd deal with Corinthia later.

Alenko appeared over the rise, huffing a little from the run. "Commander, Joker says that T'Soni's not answering any hails."

"Great," Shepard muttered. "Another ass to save..."

Alenko could see by how the Commander moved that he wasn't at full capacity. "Want me to go in first, sir?"

Shepard shook his head. "I've got this, Alenko." He gestured to the fallen armature. "Not like there's another one of these mother fuckers in the mines."

* * *

><p>Dr. Liara T'Soni was stuck. She'd pressed the wrong button and started the security system. Now, she was suspended in midair in the middle of the room, blocked from everything else by a force field. There wasn't anything there except the console. There was a blue forcefield between her and the outside, protecting the Prothean structure from the attack. She still wasn't even sure what kind of a structure it was, other than that it was something that would have needed the massive central elevator.<p>

Still, if she hadn't been alone, it wouldn't have been such a bad situation; she _had_ been trying to escape the geth. Liara was a decent biotic, but not anywhere near good enough to take on half an army. She might have been if she took the time to practice, but she didn't like conflicts.

The geth were trying to get to her. The rest of the excavation crew was nowhere to be seen. Liara had just started to wonder if she was going to die when, quite suddenly, a group of geth was thrown back in an explosion in conjunction with a biotic field. Two humans stepped out first, their fists glowing blue. The taller of them charged geth after geth, ripping out their optics with his bare hands, while the second tossed the AIs into the air for the krogan — who had just walked into sight — to pick off with his shotgun. It took Liara a moment to realize that the geth simply falling over with a spray of sparks were being picked off by a sniper.

This was a professional team, sent with one purpose, and Liara could only hope it was to rescue her. If not, they were going to kill her, and she was suspended in mid-air like a perfect target. However, their sniper was taking out every single geth that turned its attention to her. Maybe, she though, they were trying to protect her.

All the sounds of the battle were muffled by the forcefield, and she could only see them as if through foggy, dirty, and warped glass. Still, she knew that neither biotic was to be trifled with. She herself was gifted, but lack of use and practice left her having to concentrate hard to biotically lift something across the room. The tallest man, though, was nothing short of a power-house. She'd never even thought to use her biotics in such a way. Every time she turned around, there was something else for her to learn.

When the last geth fell, a turian jumped down from a walkway, holstering his sniper rifle. The taller of the two men gestured angrily towards Liara, starting an argument with the other human and the turian. When a geth twitched, he drew his pistol and shot its head off without even looking at it. Liara shuddered at his cold brutality. The geth were only machines, certainly, but he moved as if killing were second nature.

Liara swallowed hard, fear rising into her gut. Maybe they weren't there to save her. Maybe they'd just leave her there. Maybe —

The earth shuddered. The krogan had found their excavation laser and, judging by what Liara could see of his warped smile, he'd fired it on purpose. Luckily, the blast was aimed at a lower level, but the dust and debris was floating into her containment chamber.

Now, though, she could finally start to hear.

"...kind of thing you _would_ do, Wrex," one of the humans was saying.

"Shut it, Alekno. I just solved our problem without getting Ci-Ci involved," a deep voice boomed. This one had to be krogan, probably this Wrex, whoever he was.

"For what you lack in finesse you make up for in sheer bluntness," the turian replied, his voice flanging metalically.

Liara heard them, rather than saw them, step into her containment cell.

"Damn, what the fuck did you do to yourself?" the other human said. "And I thought batarians were fucking idiots..." He stepped in front of her, pulling off his helmet. This man was the more powerful of the biotics, the one Liara had feared and envied. "Commander Shepard, Spectres," he introduced coldly.

"Dr. Liara T'Soni," Liara replied, trying not to sound desperate. "I must admit, I was foolish..."

"No shit," he growled. "Alenko, turn this thing off."

Alenko came to Liara's side, murmuring, "Won't be more than a minute."

The turian chuckled from the doorway. "Not what you expected, eh, Shepard?"

"Hmph. Asari." Wrex snorted derisvely. "Leave them to get their little blue asses into a fix."

Liara blushed. She'd never been in a predicament like this, nor had she expected hardened warriors to be the ones to find her. Not one of them had an ounce of compassion, but not one of them could read Prothean, she bet.

Shepard's gaze flicked to Alenko before going back to Liara. "So you're the Prothean expert."

"I study them, yes," Liara replied.

His eyes narrowed dangerously. "Are you an expert or not?"

"T-there are many in the field, but I am," Liara stammered. She felt the forces binding her loosen and she collapsed to the ground. "Thank you, Commander. I had been stuck there for hours..."

"Yeah, whatever," he answered, brushing past her, not even offering her a hand to stand. "Joker, get the _Normandy_ down here now."

Alenko leaned in. "Sorry about him, Doc. He's kinda in a bad mood."

Liara raised an eyebrow. "Aren't all humans like that?"

"Well, Shepard's supposed to be the paragon of humanity because he's a Spectre and all, but if you're looking for a good example of what the rest of us are like... Yeah, don't use him." Alenko winked and offered Liara a kind smile. "Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. That's Garrus and the big guy's Wrex."

"It's nice to meet you all. Thank you for rescuing me." Liara's knees were weak. She'd never been in a fight before, but she had a terrible feeling that it wasn't over yet.

Shepard seemed to think the same because he had his biggest gun out and his biotics were flaring around his fists.

Alenko left her side and went to the Commander.

"Ease up there, Shepard, or you're going to blow your amp," Alenko warned quietly.

"Fuck off, Alenko," Shepard snapped.

Alenko raised an eyebrow. "I know that now's not the best time, sir, but you're starting to get reckless. We _all_ need you alive."

Shepard stopped in his tracks. He understood exactly what Alenko was trying to say without mentioning _her _name. The Lieutenant had never seen Shepard angry — and honestly the Commander wasn't anywhere near it — but Alenko had also never seen Shepard emotional.

It wasn't pretty.

No matter how Shepard felt (rejected, angry, heartbroken), it didn't stop Alenko from being right. Shepard took a deep breath and let his biotics pulse into nothing.

"You take point," was all Shepard said.

Alenko breathed a sigh of relief. Even if it was more work for him, he didn't want to be the one to explain to Corinthia why Shepard had a brain hemorrhage. Of course, that would probably calm the tension between Shepard and Corinthia. Alenko had seen Shepard storm out of the Mako, Corinthia following uneasily about half an hour later. Most of the crew assumed that they'd had their... revelries interrupted, but Alenko knew better. Corinthia was near tears and Shepard nearly tore the door off his locker when he opened it to find his armor (which had been sitting out in its case where Corinthia had left it).

So, the only explanation was that they had argued, like they had at his party. Alenko wasn't sure how, exactly, he'd become privy to that part of their private lives, but he understood that he was really the only person that they both knew — well, that Corinthia knew and Shepard half-way did. Unfortunately, Alenko also knew that Shepard was just about the only thing that could really get to Corinthia, so he could only assume it was the other way around.

Besides, even if Alenko hadn't known them, Shepard had been muttering something to the effect of, "fuck you, Ci-Ci" for the last six hours. That was generally a sign that she'd annoyed him.

Shepard glanced around, looking for an exit. When his eyes landed on the control panel at the center, a shiver ran up his spine. It looked too similar to the Prothean beacon on Eden Prime for his comfort. However, Liara was already striding past him and opening the console.

"I'm almost positive this leads to the surface," she was telling Garrus.

The turian was trying not to look bored out of his mind. "Great. Wrex broke the elevator on the way down. Not looking forward to how this is going to end."

Wrex gritted his teeth and took out his shotgun. "Funny. I thought it was because we were hauling your dead weight around, Vakarian."

"Well, it wasn't like Shepard and I actually needed either of you," Alenko jokingly put in. "I think we had three kills for your one."

Liara had no idea what was going on. Since asari were all female, and she'd been raised on their home planet of Thessia, she hadn't been able to study male bonding or ego-matching.

"Are there any females in your group?" she asked Alenko, again trying not to sound desperate.

Shepard stiffened. "A few."

"Are they like you?"

Shepard snorted. "They don't even know what to do with one of me."

"I don't understand."

Alenko leaned over to Tali. "Let's just say that there's only one of him in the galaxy and it might just be a good thing."


	16. Nightmares and Memories

**_A/N 5/29/2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, **Author's Explanatory Note: An Update**._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

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><p><strong>9 May 2183—Cargo Bay, <em>SSV Normandy<em>, en route to the Citadel**

Liara looked around the _Normandy_ in fearful awe. She'd never been on a military ship before, and she hoped that no one would look at her strangely. Not only was she an asari, but she was also covered in blood.

On the way out of the Prothean ruins, a krogan mercenary had cornered them. It only took Commander Shepard ten seconds to eliminate the threat, but the blood and gore had gone everywhere. Wrex had been perfectly happy with it, although Garrus had been a little disgusted about it. Shepard, on the other hand, hadn't cared at all. In fact, he'd just cracked his neck and growled for them to move on.

"Science lab's open," Shepard muttered, stomping to his locker. "Keep to yourself and no one'll bother you."

Liara had never been good at reading between the lines, but Shepard couldn't have been more clear: She was to stay out of his way and not interrupt the usual business aboard his ship.

"I'll show you where it is," Alenko offered, smiling kindly.

Liara relaxed gratefully. "Thank you, Lieutenant."

"Just call me Kaidan."

Liara blushed a little. It had been a long time since she had been on familiar terms with anyone, but it felt good, like she was going to be a part of the crew. However, Shepard hadn't even explained why she was there, really, and, from the looks of things and how he fought, he was the best in the Alliance. She really believed that he was a Spectre, even if there wasn't supposed to be a human one.

Alenko took her to the elevators. Liara barely glimpsed a quarian peeking out from the engine room as the doors closed. So far, every major species except salarian had been aboard the ship. What was going on?

The crew all looked at her strangely. Though they'd all probably seen an asari before, it wasn't right for her to be on the ship, she could feel it. Still, Alenko gently put his hand on her shoulder and took her into the medical bay.

"Dr. Chakwas, this is Dr. Liara T'Soni."

Dr. Chakwas got to her feet. "So what has Shepard done this time that we need a second doctor?"

"I'm not that kind of doctor," Liara quickly excused. "I have a doctorate in Prothean studies."

"Oh, well, that's different." Dr. Chakwas took a seat. "I take it you'll be taking over the lab in the back?"

"I wasn't sure —"

"Oh, stop fussing. I'd love the company." Dr. Chakwas pointed to the door. "It's all yours. It's probably the quietest place on the entire ship, you know, assuming the Commander doesn't go about punching holes in lockers."

"He does what?" Liara repeated.

"Punches holes in lockers," Corinthia said, stepping out of the science lab. "He's done it a few times, when he's particularly pissed about something. We're probably going to be getting some of that action, too. I pissed him off something awful earlier."

Dr. Chakwas noted Corinthia's tear-stained cheeks and red eyes. Something terrible had happened between them, but Corinthia had offered nary a word about it. The doctor wasn't going to press for details, either, because it wasn't her place. Whatever happened between Shepard and Corinthia was their business; it was only Dr. Chakwas's if he hurt her, in which case she would bar the doors and shoot Shepard between the eyes without any hesitation whatsoever. Dr. Chakwas loved Corinthia like a daughter and Karin wasn't going to let a thing happen to the girl.

Liara raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, I don't follow."

Corinthia shook her head. "Shepard and I are friends, for better or worse. He gets pissed off pretty easily, but I'm the one that makes him punch holes through lockers. Generally, unless something went really wrong down there."

Alenko shook his head. "No, everything went just fine. Geth all over the damn place, but you should've seen Shepard go."

Corinthia's expression froze for a second before she smirked (although it was a little strained). "Sounds like I missed a party. What'd he do with his biotics this time?"

Alenko blinked. "What're you talking about?"

"He'll experiment if he gets bored enough on a mission. Or angry enough that he forgets about trying to control it."

"Something like that," Alenko answered.

"And the man STILL won't lift me with them..." Corinthia shook her head. "Don't know what scares him about it."

Alenko snorted. "Sure you don't."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously, Ci-Ci, I know you're not that naive," Alenko added.

"Uhm, yeah, I am," Corinthia replied quickly. She was lying because she now knew exactly why Shepard was so damn protective. Not that she minded, but it was about to become a problem because she was almost positive he was about to stop caring.

Liara looked around in complete confusion. She had no idea what was going on and she hated it. She liked to _know_, to dig and learn things — secrets that no one knew before. That was her passion and now her curiosity was sparking. She'd been thrust into a strange civilization, being aboard an Alliance ship, and she wanted to find out everything she could about it.

Or, specifically, Corinthia. The woman's scars were the very first things that Liara had noticed, which meant that she was just as much a soldier as Shepard, if not more so. Not only that, but Corinthia looks were deceiving. She had smile lines etched deep into her face, as well as deep furrows between her brows. As cordial and friendly as she sounded, she was still dangerous. Liara had seen the same kind of walk used by asari commandos, a prowl that they used right before they snapped into action.

But Corinthia wasn't a biotic. There was no way that she could be, talking about wanting to be lifted like that. Then again, she'd sounded so clueless at Kaidan's comment that maybe she was as naive as Liara could be in certain situations. Liara knew that she wasn't the best at understanding people (which was why she was an archaeologist), and maybe Corinthia wasn't, either.

"Excuse me, but I've had a trying day," Liara murmured shyly. "If I may, I'd like to get some rest, or at least find out why I'm here."

Corinthia seemed to snap out of some kind of reverie. "Oh, right. Totally. C'mon, I'll help you out. I think I can explain, or at least what the Alliance wants with you, even if I can't speak for Shepard. Mostly."

Liara gratefully followed Corinthia into the back.

"Thank you. I feel a little lost..." Liara looked around. She didn't even have any of her personal effects, although she was sure that she could find an Alliance uniform that fit.

Corinthia shrugged. "Yeah, we all feel like that at some point, don't we? Liara, isn't it?"

"Yes, and you're... Ci-Ci?"

"Yeppers, that's me." Corinthia held out her hand. "Lieutenant Commander Corinthia-Imreas."

"Liara T'Soni." Liara was, frankly, surprised. She hadn't expected Cornithia to have such a high rank. Wait, that was a high rank for the human Alliance, wasn't it? "Do I need to call you Lieutenant Commander?"

"Me? Hah! Hell, no. People only do when they're mad at me. The only people you'll hear call me that are Pressley and Shepard. You'll meet Pressley later, I'm sure."

"Pressley?"

"The XO."

"XO?"

"Executive Officer. You don't have any military experience, right?"

"No, not at all," Liara answered, embarrassed.

"Eh, don't worry so much about it. I'll explain as we go. It's all routine, you'll get used to it before much longer. So, important things to know: Shepard is in charge. He tends to be grumpy, and I suggest you call him 'Commander' or 'sir' even though you aren't military. Pressley's next in command, especially when Shepard's off the ship. I still outrank Pressley, though, but I have to follow his orders. I'm the highest ranking officer next to Shepard. Pilot's Joker — Well, Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, but no one calls him that. Ever, just like no one calls me 'Corinthia-Imreas' or even just 'Corinthia'. I'm Ci-Ci to everyone."

Liara was happy to have someone give out so much information, since it meant she could ask all the questions she wanted.

"So why Ci-Ci?"

"My initials. Salarians didn't have time to say my full name, so one day Dr. Solus came up with that. Brilliant guy, Mordin."

"Salarians?"

"Went to one of their schools." Corinthia waved a hand in dismissal, clearly not intent on talking about herself. "And what about you? Your doctorate's in Prothean archaeology, right?"

"Yes... Was that part of your mission?"

"Not exactly. Shepard was told to pick you up, so he did. I'm the one that got the real debriefing."

Liara sat down. "So why am I here?"

Corinthia inhaled deeply, attempting to form her words. "Our first mission was on Eden Prime. You know that colony?"

"Yes, I do," Liara murmured. "I've heard it's beautiful."

"It would've been if it weren't on fire. We'd been sent to recover a Prothean beacon."

Liara's eyes widened eagerly. "A beacon? Really? What was it like?"

Corinthia bit her lip. "I'm not sure. Shepard's the one that opened it, not me. I got close to it, but from what he told me, it isn't pretty. At all. Like that REALLY bad kind of nasty that makes you want to roll over and sob in a corner."

Liara frowned. She needed more details if she was to put together the clues and pieces properly. "Tell me more."

"I'm not sure I can, not right. Best phrase I can come up with is 'Paradise Lost', but that doesn't cover it." Corinthia swallowed, making sure that she wouldn't betray Shepard. "We need to know what was on that beacon, understand it. I have a copy of the data, but I'm not sure it'll be enough. I can get my fingers on almost anything I need, but I can't find anything that'll translate Prothean."

Liara could barely contain her excitement. It was one thing to examine ruins, but another to look at a working beacon. Or, at least, the data, but that was more than she'd had a chance to see in far too long.

"Do you have it? May I see it?" she asked eagerly.

Corinthia opened her omni-tool. "I can give you access. The Council has it, too, but let's keep this shadow copy a secret, alright?" Corinthia winked and grinned deviously.

Liara had never done anything illegal in her life, but the thought of it excited her. The fact that Corinthia would so casually suggest crime was almost unnerving, but at the same time Liara wanted to do it. She barely knew the human, but she desperately wanted to know the rest. She had to know what was on there.

Corinthia went to the terminal. "Now, assuming this thing's up to par, we might be able to make this work."

Liara made to stand. "Do you want the chair?"

"Nah, I'm good. Urgh, damn it, the Alliance doesn't do computers well at all. I'd have to take apart three more computers to make this one even start to work. Where's Shepard? If I can get us to the Citadel —" Her face darkened. "Well, I think I can make it work."

Liara narrowed her eyes. "You and the Commander had an argument?"

"That's one way of putting it."

"If I may ask..."

Corinthia hesitated. "We're at an impasse," she finally summarized.

Liara flushed. "I'm sorry. I don't know much about human customs."

"That's going to change. It's going to have to, trust me. I guess —" She sighed, exasperated. "Look, Shepard and I are friends. We have been for ages and ages, but lately things have gotten tense between us. Most everyone aboard knows that he and I are close."

"I saw the results of that tension," Liara observed. "I had assumed that he was simply that... ferocious."

"Yeah, that's one way to put it," Corinthia breathed. She gripped the desk.

"Are you alright?" Liara asked quietly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. Let's just get this data set up and we can work from there. I don't know a thing about the whole Prothean thing, really, except that they're old and our entire civilization is built off of their stuff."

Liara had never been too interested in human emotions, so she was content with going to the Prothean beacon. Actually, Liara was ecstatic. To look at untouched Prothean data was an opportunity Liara would not be able to pass up in any lifetime.

However, it was cut short when the intercom came on.

_"Hey, Ci-Ci, I don't know what you did, but Shepard's pissed as hell and he wants you and Liara upstairs at the comm room now_," Joker said.

"What makes you think it was my fault?" Corinthia asked.

"_Well, he didn't kinda mutter, 'Fuck you, Ci-Ci' about nine times._"

Corinthia groaned. "He in there alone?"

"_Nah. He's got Garrus and Alenko with him already._"

Corinthia sighed. "Alight, we'll head in there in a moment."

* * *

><p>Shepard stood before the screen, his mind too tumultuous to concentrate. Between the events on Therum, the beacon, and Corinthia, he needed a way to get the images out of his head. The worst part was that he couldn't decide if he wanted Corinthia or the beacon out of his mind. Therum had been a big dog fight and, right at that moment, his head felt like it was going to explode. Now he knew that he'd gone too far with his biotics, although he was lucky enough to not to have given himself an aneurysm. Biotic over-charge was dangerous and he'd seen more than his fair share of people almost literally blow their brains out.<p>

Garrus came in first, followed by Wrex and Garrus. Williams slowly came in after them, glaring at Garrus. The turian propped his ankle across his knee and calmly met her gaze, unafraid of her or her issues with his species. Alenko took his a seat next to Williams.

Shepard glanced back to see who had come. Part of him hoped that Corinthia wouldn't come, but sure enough she and Liara came in and, by the looks of things, they were already becoming friends. Corinthia's omni-tool was out and they were examining some panel on it.

"Dr. T'Soni," Shepard began, his voice harsh. "Sit. Now."

Liara sank into the first chair she saw. Corinthia hung back a little, just out of Shepard's direct line of sight.

"What is it, Commander?" Liara asked.

"Do you know why you're here?"

"Honestly, I don't, sir." Liara blushed and examined her feet. "Ci-Ci explained briefly about the beacon, but I can't fully understand without seeing it for myself."

Shepard kept his focus on Liara, but the fact that she'd just, essentially, said "I don't understand" gave him absolutely no confidence that she could actually help him.

"How the hell do you even expect to see it? The beacon's destroyed and Ci-Ci isn't good enough to reconstruct it," Shepard snapped.

Shepard was more than grateful that Corinthia said nothing. If she'd argued, or even defended herself... He wasn't sure that he could talk to her, or even really look at her. The fact was that, despite how angry he felt, he was ashamed of his actions towards her.

"Asari have the ability to unite minds with others, to share emotions, memories, and other important moments in your life."

"Why would I share any of that with you?" Shepard hissed.

"Commander, I can only assume that I am here to help you, and if that is the only way that I can..." She stood. "It will only take a moment. I will only see the vision, if you hold it in your mind."

Shepard glanced around the room. Everyone was looking at him expectantly, like his only option was to do what Liara asked. If he didn't want Corinthia in his head, what was he going to do with a total stranger in there? Worse, what if the connection didn't break?

Then again, what if she could take the beacon image completely out of his mind? Take away Corinthia?

"Fuck," he breathed, turning his back to the room. He wasn't going to show them as he tried to make a decision.

"It isn't a permanent connection," Corinthia murmured. "It's part of how asari bond with other species."

Shepard clenched a fist. Why did she have to start talking? It only put something else in his mind that he didn't want to think about.

Liara didn't want to appear too eager. To actually _see_ something that the Protheans had... She was already reviewing the steps needed to join her mind to Shepard's.

"It'll help, Shepard," Corinthia continued. "Have two people who've seen it."

"That isn't what I'm thinking about," Shepard muttered. He didn't want Liara anywhere near his thoughts. They were too confused for him to even extract _just_ the beacon's memory.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Corinthia finished.

Shepard gritted his teeth. Yes, it was what he'd wanted, but now the damned asari was advancing on him, the entire crew was watching, and Corinthia was encouraging it. What'd she want him to do? Bond with someone else? If that was true, he wasn't sure how they could even still be friends. Not that he'd been sure they could be friends after the incident.

Liara was standing in front of him, now, her fingers reaching for his temples. He jerked away, much like Corinthia had from him.

"Relax, Commander. This will be easier if you let me in," Liara told him, smiling nervously. Her eyes glinted eagerly, despite Shepard's obvious discomfort. She probably didn't even notice it.

Yes, Shepard was cornered. It didn't look like it to anyone, except maybe Corinthia, but he was. Liara's fingers touched his temples.

"Open your mind to me, Commander," she ordered, closing her eyes. Suddenly, she opened them again, her eyes now pure black. "Embrace Eternity!"

The comm room vanished as if being sucked through a mass relay. Shepard was standing in Paradise, feeling the breeze on his cheeks and inhaling the sweet scent of flowers. Liara was next to him, her eyes wide in awe.

"This... is _Prothean_," she breathed. Well, maybe she didn't speak, but Shepard heard every word of her thoughts.

They didn't have time to revel. The scene shifted and the world was on fire. He could feel Liara's fear, and he was positive that she could feel his own.

Then, the real nightmare started: the slaughter. The monsters viciously tore apart the other beings, each execution progressively more and more brutal. Shepard didn't want to watch, and he knew Liara just wanted it to end, but it was too late and they were going to see everything.

Liara gasped when Corinthia appeared, cornered and being tortured by the monsters. Shepard clenched a fist, his mouth opening to shout something — anything — but no words came. He was frozen in place, unable to move or save her. His heart pounded, threatening to burst. If he'd been scared before, he'd been feeling like the bravest man in comparison to now.

Right when the monster finished killing Corinthia, her scream piercing the sky, the ships arrived — the massive, deadly, god-like structures that symbolized utter annihilation. Liara gripped his arm, her breath catching sharply.

"Goddess..." she whispered.

As they stared at it, its arms opened, revealing a glowing red eye. It glowed, warped, and crackled with electricity as it gathered power too shoot —

They were standing on Eden Prime, Shepard panicking as he fought to get to Corinthia. Then they were back on Earth, at his party, the night he'd realized how much he cared about her. In a flash, they were in the Mako and his lips were pressed against hers, every fiber of his being condensing into a moment of pure bliss.

Shepard couldn't take it any more. Those things were memories for him and him alone. He shouted and pushed Liara away from him.

They were in the comm room, in reality. Liara gasped and staggered back, knees knocking against a chair and she collapsed into it. Her eyes were wide, now their normal color, and she looked a much paler shade of blue. As terrifying as the vision had been, she was more terrified of Shepard in that moment. He'd severed the connection and forced her out of his mind, gaining enough control of his own body to physically force her away from him.

"I'm not your fucking science experiment," Shepard said calmly. Though his voice was steady, cold, and almost murderous, he didn't look as if he was in control of himself. His chest was heaving, his fists were clenched and glowing with biotics, his skin was drenched in a cold sweat, and his face had paled.

"God, John, are you alright?" Corinthia cried, surging forward. She was half-way across the room before she realized that they were supposed to be at an impasse, but she didn't care. She was standing in front of him, hand extended to touch his arm, but she caught herself mere centimeters from his skin.

He locked eyes with her. He could feel himself starting to relax at the warmth of her proximity, to want it back the second she drew her fingers away. As conflicted as he felt, he was almost grateful that she was worried, like more than usual, like she thought he was about to keel over. Damn it, she still cared about him. How could she if she'd rejected him? Why couldn't she just hate him? It'd be so much easier to move past her if she did...

Corinthia stepped back, realizing how many lines she'd crossed. "Seriously, Shepard, you look awful. Sit down, please," she continued, hiding her concern. She wasn't doing a good job, but at least she wasn't huggging him.

"What the hell was that?" Williams demanded, looking between Corinthia, Liara, and Shepard.

It took all of Shepard's remaining self-control to lower himself into a seat as if he hadn't been shaken. He clasped his hands and hung his head rested his forehead against his fists, shutting his eyes and trying to see if the visions were gone.

They weren't.

"Those were the Protheans," Liara whispered. "It had to be them. It was a message, a warning."

"Tell me something I don't fucking know already," Shepard snapped. "The goddamn Protheans were fucking idiots, if you ask me."

Liara frowned. "Commander, that vision was an image of their downfall. Whatever you saw was what destroyed them."

"Oh, fucking joy..."

Corinthia bit her lip. "So why did Saren want that in his head?"

Shepard gritted his teeth. "I already told you that I don't fucking know."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Yes, but now we know exactly what you saw. This sort of... changes things. Saren obviously knows something we don't, but what, exactly? It doesn't make sense to seek out a vision of destruction. At all."

Shepard couldn't think. He could still feel Liara's fingers, like they were still reaching into his mind and pulling out secrets. She had seen and felt exactly how much he cared about Corinthia. Thankfully, the asari was tactful enough to keep that to herself, but he could tell by how she was looking at himself and Corinthia still standing at the center of the room that Liara knew very well what had happened between them.

"Dismissed," Shepard ordered.

Everyone exchanged glances, unsure if he was talking to Corinthia or everyone.

"I said that you are all dismissed," Shepard repeated angrily.

Williams was the first out the door, muttering something about assholes and bastards. Wrex, Tali, and Garrus followed soon thereafter. Liara shakily rose to her feet. "Commander, if you ever need to —"

"Get your blue fucking ass out of here, T'Soni!"

She disappeared out the door with a faint gasp and a look of utter confusion.

Corinthia stepped forward. "John..."

He met her eyes again, glaring at her with as much hatred as he could muster. Her mouth opened a little in shock and fear. In all the time they'd known each other, he'd never looked at her like she was his enemy. A chill crept down her spine and she backed away from him.

"I only want to help," she murmured.

"Fuck you, Ci-Ci. Get out of my sight," Shepard replied.

Corinthia pressed her lips together into a tight line, turned her heel, and left without another word.

Shepard groaned and ran his hands over his face. "Fuck..."

Everything had just gone from bad to worse. He'd pushed Corinthia away like she'd pushed him away. Liara knew his only weakness and how to exploit it. The nightmare of the beacon was back at the forefront of his mind and Corinthia had ever-so tactfully informed him that Saren needed it for something, and therefore Shepard needed to know it as well.

But he couldn't concentrate enough to even start thinking about what that reason could be. He had to deal with Corinthia first before he could even start thinking about anything else, which meant that he had to get her out of his head somehow or other. But, since she was on the _Normandy_, it was going to be impossible. Hell, he missed her, and it hadn't been much more than a day since they'd last spoken.

Maybe requesting her transfer... No, she'd just reassign herself to the crew again. She'd never leave him, although she had when he'd ordered her to go. Damn it, what the fuck was he supposed to do? The fact was that he needed her to talk to, to help him think everything through — even the issues he had with her — and he couldn't confront her without forgetting himself again or doing something stupid again.

What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he shake her?

The L-word crept back into his mind and, as hard as he tried to dismiss it, it wouldn't go away this time. It was the only explanation for why he couldn't get her out of his head, why he had to know what she thought, and why she could calm him down.

If it really was true, if Shepard really was (he hated to even think the phrase) in love with her, then he'd more than fucked up. Now he wasn't even sure he could fix it, even if he wanted to. Well, he did want to, badly, but he was too angry to even consider it a real option. He wanted to be mad at her, wanted to think that it had been her fault, but the fact was that she'd been more concerned for him than ever and there was no way in hell that she couldn't care about him.

He had to know, though, if he was her brother, her friend, or potentially (hopefully) something else. Angry or not, he wasn't ready to give her up.

"_Commander, what are your orders_?" Joker radioed.

Honestly, Shepard had no idea, but he needed a drink or ten. That meant Omega or the Citadel, and he doubted that the Alliance would be very welcome on Omega. Besides, he knew what would happen if he went there (waking up in a strange hotel with several naked women and a wicked hang-over) and he wasn't going to do that.

"The Citadel," he finally answered. "Get us there fast, too."

"_Going to report to the Council, Commander_?"

"Hell no. I want a drink."

"_I'll set the course, Commander. Hey, do the rest of us get shore leave?"_

"If you shut up."

"_Aye, aye, sir. Shutting up._"


	17. Fallout

**_A/N 5/29/2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, **Author's Explanatory Note: An Update**._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>10 May 2183—Cargo Bay, <em>SSV Normandy<em>, en route to the Citadel**

Corinthia worked with Garrus, Williams, and Tali to repair the damage to the Mako. Liara, Wrex, and Alenko were hanging around, chatting, simply because Shepard had practically yelled at everyone on the upper levels to shut up and let him sleep.

The cargo bay wasn't the most comfortable of places. It was large and echoed hollowly at any sound. Unlike most ships, the _Normandy_ had a near silent drive, so the bay lacked the usual sound of roaring engines, especially for a ship so close to the engine room.

"Garrus, hand me that wrench thingy, will ya?" Corinthia asked.

He gave her the tool she requested. "You missed one hell of a fight down there, Ci-Ci."

Whatever good mood Corinthia had managed to muster vanished. "Yeah, I'm sure I did," she muttered.

Williams snorted. "She was up int he lab, pouting."

"Was not!" Corinthia quickly protested.

Garrus stopped welding. "Hang on, what're you two even talking about?"

"You mean you didn't notice Shepard storming around like he was out for blood?" Williams asked sarcastically.

Garrus shrugged. "I thought that was his normal attitude."

Corinthia laughed, maybe a little too loudly. "Yeah, because all Shepard can do it be grumpy and kill things with his magic."

Williams shook her head. "That isn't even funny..."

"Yeah, I guess not." Corinthia occupied herself with welding. "What did you guys do? Drive into maw acid?"

"Lava," Alenko explained. "Shepard was 'avoiding getting our asses fried'. He said it a bit more colorfully, but you get the idea."

Corinthia sighed. "That's generally my job to nearly destroy this thing, but if he wants to, I won't stop him. Needs a better suspension and steering column, if you ask me. Handles like a buffalo neck-deep in water."

Williams laughed. "That one was funny."

Corinthia grinned innocently. "I try. Besides, I'm here for everyone's amusement. Shepard'll make everyone put a gun in their mouths if there isn't some kind of comic relief."

Wrex snorted. "Humans. Can't even get fighting right."

Corinthia frowned. "From what I've seen, yeah, right. Wanna talk about Akuze or Torfan or the Blitz? Yeah, didn't think so." She kicked a warped piece of the Mako's armor until it was bent mostly back into shape.

"Jesus, calm down, Ci-Ci," Williams said, taking a step back. She'd never actually seen Corinthia anywhere near violent. "What the hell did you two talk about to put you in such a damned bad mood?"

Corinthia hesitated. "Things," she answered vaguely after a moment.

"The guy break up with you?"

"We were never together."

Williams snorted. "Yeah, right."

Garrus scratched his head. "Wait... You and Shepard, Ci-Ci?"

"No!" Corinthia protested. "We're just friends!"

Wrex crossed his arms. "The krogan may not breed like you humans, but we're not that blind."

Corinthia blushed. "Whatever. I'm just going to crawl in there and deal with the wiring and let you guys fix the outside." She deftly climbed up the tires and hopped through the hatch.

Williams looked at Alenko. "Seriously, please tell me that I'm not the only one that noticed the two of them."

Alenko sighed. "Yeah, well, most anyone that's served with them knows. We usually just go with it. Doesn't help that Shepard's usually in charge. It's probably best not to bring it up around him. He's a little cranky right now."

Williams rolled her eyes. "That's an understatement. What'd she do to him?"

"So far as I know? Nothing, but I've never seen him this pissed at her." Alenko scratched his head. "They had another argument about a month ago, but the fallout from that wasn't this bad at all."

"Putting yourself in the middle, LT?" Williams snidely asked.

"Yeah, well, someone's going to have to before Shepard rips a hole in the hull. You got this, Garrus?"

The turian waved a hand. "Yeah, we're set here, unless Liara can use her biotics to help."

The asari flushed. "I suppose I can try..."

Alenko headed to the elevators, not really sure what he was about to do. It was one thing to talk to the Commander about a mission, but it was another entirely to start meddling with his personal life. Shepard was notoriously private, to the point that the only things someone without top-secret clearance would have heard on the vids or seen firsthand. Alenko was in an awkward position because he knew Corinthia relatively well and was starting to get to know Shepard, so by most people's standards he was both of their friends. As a matter of fact, he was probably the only person that had served with either of them in the past, cornering him into being the only possible peacemaker. Whatever it was they needed peace about.

Alenko hesitated outside Shepard's door. In all likelihood, the Commander would just yell at him to shut the fuck up and leave, but there was the small possibility that Shepard, for whatever stupid reason, would want to talk about it. If anything, Alenko was going to make a point about how they all needed to cooperate or else they'd never get Saren, so Shepard would have to grow up — No, bad choice in words. That'd get Alenko thrown through three walls and out into space. Act professional? Yeah, that was better. Much better.

He knocked on Shepard's door.

"Who's there?" Shepard growled, sounding even edgier and more dangerous than before.

"Kaidan," Alenko replied. "May I come in, sir?"

The door's holo panel flashed from red (locked) to green (open). Alenko stepped inside, taking a deep breath and preparing for the worst.

Shepard was sitting at his desk, staring at the monitors. There were at least fifty messages open, most of them from the Alliance and almost all asking for help about something. Shepard was minimizing a few panels that Alenko was pretty positive contained parts of Corinthia's and his file.

"What is it, Alenko?" Shepard asked, clearly not in the mood for small talk.

Whatever words Alenko had prepared disappeared. It wasn't that Shepard was acting intimidating, but rather because the man looked like he was actually troubled. Alenko never had been quite convinced that Shepard was as emotionless as people made him out to be, but the Commander certainly never showed anything that he was feeling other than the occasional bit of annoyance.

"You alright, Shepard?" Alenko blurted.

Shepard wearily rubbed his eyes. "Fucking fine. What the hell do you want?"

Alenko's monologue came back. "I know it's none of my business —"

"Then don't get into it."

" — But you and Ci-Ci have to make up. I don't know what happened between you two, but it isn't right. Apparently she was in the lab crying the entire time we were on Therum and now she can't even hear your name without getting nervous. We're soldiers here, not teenagers. She's your best friend."

Shepard leaned back in his seat. For a moment, Alenko was positive that Shepard was going to snap at him, but instead the Commander just shook his head. "I fucked up," he said simply.

Alenko raised an eyebrow. "With Ci-Ci? Is that even possible?"

Shepard groaned. "About twice a day and ten times on Sunday. First there was the bullshit back on Norfolk, then before we shipped out from the Citadel, and now this..."

"Uh, Commander, mind telling me what happened?"

Shepard stiffened and narrowed his eyes. "She send you?"

"Hell no. She's still trying to figure out how to apologize to you."

"But it's my fucking fault."

"Why?"

Shepard hesitated. "This doesn't leave this room, understood? If I so much as hear that you said a word of this to anyone, I will throw you out the airlock."

Alenko nodded soberly. "Yeah, I got it."

Shepard honestly didn't know why he was about to tell Alenko any of this. Honestly, Shepard had to say something. If he didn't, he'd end up doing something stupid again or taking his rage out somewhere else, maybe even on Corinthia again.

"I kissed her," Shepard slowly said.

Alenko raised an eyebrow. "And this caused problems? I thought she liked you."

Shepard shook his head. "Not just that. I told her... things about me. Things that I've never said, and don't fucking ask because they're none of your goddamn business. Just... It freaked her out, but no matter how bad it was, she was still being herself and I just _had_ to —" Shepard stopped, not sure what phrase to use instead of "have her".

"So, basically, you scared her and now you're angry because of her reaction?" Alenko clarified.

"Not how I'd put it," Shepard grumbled. In Shepard's head, it had been a lot more complicated, but Alenko had said exactly what was really going through the Commander's mind, just in simpler words.

"So, what? You like her. We all already knew that. Hell, we all think you two are already together."

Shepard glared at Alenko. "Watch it, Alenko."

"Oh, come on, Shepard! The girl's half-way in love with you and you get mad at her for nothing? It's not like anyone on this ship is going to argue with you. It's not like the Alliance is going to care about regs when it comes to the both of you. Besides, Ci-Ci could hack her way out of all of it and you know it."

"What the hell else am I supposed to do? She's a fucking kid!"

"No, she's not. She's just confused." Alenko couldn't believe that he was having this argument with Shepard, but apparently someone had to. "I saw guys hit on her and she had no idea what they were saying. As if she'd even notice a hint unless you were doing something. She's completely oblivious."

"Like I don't know that." Shepard got to his feet. He'd been going over the incident in his head so many times that he was pretty sure he wasn't even remembering it right. The whole mind-melding thing with Liara had fucked with his head even worse. He just needed to get all those images out of his head, but nothing was helping, so his last resort was actually saying it.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" Shepard demanded angrily. "Give her time? Move on? Act like nothing happened? I can't do any of that shit. I've spent six fucking years ignoring —" He stopped, not sure if it mattered that he hadn't noticed he'd cared. "Dammit, she's too naive to even understand — to get how I —" No, he couldn't tell Alenko that part. "It's not like I can take anything back, either. I don't fucking WANT to."

Alenko held up his hands. Thankfully, he was smart enough to read through the lines of Shepard's outburst. "Look, all I'm saying is that you need to talk to her before one of you punches a hole through the hull. Have you even tried?"

Shepard ran a hand over his head. "Yeah, kind of... It's... complicated. She... She just doesn't get it."

"Get what? That you like her? I think kissing her is supposed to make it obvious. Have you even tried flirting?"

Shepard laughed bitterly. "Me, flirting? Yeah fucking right."

"Alright, point taken." Alenko scratched his head. "Look, do you want my advice?"

Shepard didn't answer, so Alenko continued.

"If it were me, I'd call her up here and explain how you're feeling, even if you don't know what you're feeling. Ask her out. Ask her to be patient. Whatever you need to get over this fight and get back on track. Saren's the real enemy. We can't be fighting with each other right now, especially when we all need to work together if we want to get that bastard."

Shepard turned his back to Alenko.

"There's nothing wrong with caring, Shepard," Alenko finished. "Actually, I think it kinda helps us all out."

Shepard remained silent for a long time. Finally, he rasped, "I need a drink."

"We shouldn't be too far from the Citadel..." Alenko mused.

"Yeah, well, get into your civvies, Alenko. You're fucking coming with me."

Alenko blinked. "I — Why?"

"Because you're the only goddamn man on this ship I can stand right now."

"What about Garrus and Wrex? You three seemed to get along."

"Whatever. If I can't shoot shit and blow shit up, I'm going to drink until I fall over and can talk to her again." Shepard sat on his bed, putting his head in his hands. "What the fuck is wrong with me, Alenko? With all the shit I've done, I can't even bring myself to fucking talk to her..."

Alenko leaned against a wall. "Maybe it's because she actually matters to you."

"Yeah..." Shepard released a slow breath. He was calmer, certainly, but it hadn't helped. He still didn't think he could face her.

"Want me to go get her?" Alenko offered.

"Hell no. If you get me anything, get me a bottle of whiskey."

"Yeah, well, even if I knew all the bootleggers on the ship, I doubt they'd have enough."

Shepard raised his head a little. "Joker, how close are we to the Citadel?"

"_ETA an hour, Commander_," Joker replied.

"Good. Shepard out." He fell back onto his bed. "I'll see you in an hour, Alenko."

"I think I should tell Garrus to come, too..."

"Do you even know him?"

Alenko shrugged. "He's got a place in case neither of us can walk out of there."

Shepard snorted. "Good point."

Alenko went to the door. "I'll let Garrus know and meet you on the docks in an hour, sir."

Shepard just waved a hand in response. Honestly, he wasn't sure what the point of any of that was. Sure, he needed to get out to breathe a little, but it wasn't like the alcohol was going to help him any. He'd been drunk too many times in a short period to really warrant another binge. Besides, he wouldn't be thinking clearly and he knew it. He needed to be able to, though, if only so that he could figure out what the hell was going to do.

Admittedly, Alenko had helped. It was at least good to know that Corinthia's reaction had been shock and not repulsion. However, Alenko had used the word "love", which Shepard had been trying to avoid before the fallout, and it was rattling around in his head. Again. It was going to drive Shepard insane if he wasn't careful... Or if he didn't just admit to it. Granted, he had no idea what love even meant, or even if he was going to be capable of it, but he'd only be able to decide once he had Corinthia and just _knew_, he guessed.

Either way, a night out on the Citadel was looking appealing and to be about the only solution he could think of to avoiding her for another few hours.

* * *

><p>Liara had her work cut out for her, going through all the Prothean data. Corinthia offered to be of help, but Liara was too eager to wait until the Mako was repaired.<p>

The Prothean data wasn't much and was tangled up in computer code. Liara's heart sank as she realized just how long it was going to take her to even start the translation.

Corinthia walked in, looking frustrated and nursing singed fingertips. She practically fell into the chair next to Liara.

"If Shepard ever tells you that something's your fault so you have to fix it, ignore him. Fixing that damned Mako is the bane of my existence," Corinthia started.

"But you weren't even down there with us," Liara answered.

"Doesn't matter. The Mako is my hiding spot, so I have to fix it," Corinthia replied, blowing on her fingertips. "At least the electronics. We keep an in-house electrician, but nooooo. Shepard needs _me_ to sort it out."

Liara raised an eyebrow. "I don't understand. Are you better than the electrician?"

"No, but I know the Mako inside and out and he doesn't." Corinthia stretched with a groan. "How's the Prothean stuff coming?"

Liara sighed wearily. "I cannot make head or tail of it. It was all so clear when I joined with the Commander's mind, but now there is nothing there but lines and lines of code."

Corinthia leaned forward, looking at the screen with narrowed eyes. "Yeah, that's code alright," she said after a long moment.

"Can't you understand it?"

"Nope." Corinthia scratched her knee. "That's not a computer language I know. Not even krogan. Their computers are... Well, it's off. It's all off." Corinthia pulled her seat closer to Liara. "Seriously. I don't know what I'm looking at. Maybe it's Prothean?" Corinthai sighed. "Sorry, my mind's all muddled right now."

"Your mind is?" Liara repeated. "Have you seen the Commander's?"

Corinthia released a slow breath. "I don't have to."

Liara bit her lip. Upon joining Shepard's mind, she'd seen things that she knew she wasn't supposed to... Things about him and Corinthia. "Because you are in love," Liara murmured.

Corinthia's jaw flopped open. "H-how did you... He can't be..."

"When I joined minds with him, I saw much... Things I believe I was not supposed to. He holds his memories of you close to his heart, but they are confused with the images he saw in the beacon. I-I am confused by it. Terrified." Liara shivered. "But the dread he felt is nothing in comparison. To think that a man sush as he could feel fear at all..."

Corinthia pursed her lips together, remembering the relief written on his face when she'd woken after being shot. She'd never really seen him scared, but that was the first time she'd ever seen him look so... genuine, as if he weren't hiding. Maybe that was his reaction to overcoming fear or something, but she didn't know.

Liara blushed slightly. "I am sorry. This is none of my business."

"No, no. It's fine," Corinthia murmured, running her fingers through her hair. "Shep — John and I... We've been friends for so long that it all just got confused. Yeah, I care about him, more than he..." Corinthia hesitated. "More than he knows," she finished. "Or maybe he does know, which is why he —" She stopped.

"I saw what happened, when we..." Liara said quietly. "He dwells on it constantly."

"So he knows."

"He is unsure of your own feelings, which is why he remains so conflicted, I believe. I - I do not have much experience with these matters. I am too young for all of that."

"Young? You're, what? One-twenty?"

"One hundred and eight," Liara corrected.

Corinthia whistled. She knew asari ages, and one-o-eight was like being nineteen. "Would not have called that..."

"And you are twenty-three."

"Yep," Corinthia replied.

"Do you understand? What you are feeling, I mean."

"Hell no, but I'm used to it." Corinthia leaned her elbows on the desk. "The regs are the part that stops me. That and being nervous about saying anything."

"What regulations?" Liara asked, confused.

"We're both officers of different ranks. Totally off the table. Even if we were the same rank, we'd be reassigned to different ships. It wouldn't work. He doesn't keep in touch. I try, but... Well, it doesn't work all the time because I get distracted and then it's been weeks. Then again, it doesn't matter. We just talk like nothing happened, like no time's passed. But not this time." Corinthia studied her blackened fingertips. "This isn't something we can just pretend didn't happen, because I'm pretty sure we both wanted it. I mean, I didn't know what was happening when he - he kissed me, but now I wish that I'd just... I dunno. Let him. Enjoyed it. Something other than just jerking away."

"Then why don't you speak to him?" Liara asked. "Tell him what you wish?"

"It's not that simple. He's the commanding officer. We don't sit around and discuss our feelings, even when we're off duty. I'm not actually sure we've ever talked about them, really."

Liara pursed her lips. "Why are you trusting me with all of this, Ci-Ci?"

Corinthia shrugged. "I dunno. Because you know something about him, too? I know you may not want to, but you do. You connected yourself to him." Corinthia barely managed to conceal her jealousy, but she managed.

"He did not wish it. He forced me out the moment his thoughts strayed from the beacon. His willpower is astounding. I must admit, even though I barely know him, I am am envious of you."

Corinthia blinked. "Huh? Why?"

"He would do anything for you." Liara clasped and unclasped her fingers. "I didn't see anything in specific, but, but I could... feel what he was feeling. How important —" Liara stopped. "Perhaps I am confused as well. To have seen everything he has..."

"I wish I knew."

"No, you do not." Liara turned and looked deeply into Corinthia's eyes. "It was terrible. I would show you, but I feel that he wishes to keep it to himself, private. He did not wish to share what he'd seen and I wish I had not looked. So much death..." Liara shut her eyes tightly. "How can he bear it?"

"Because he's seen worse?" Corinthia offered.

"I am not so sure. This was... terrible." Liara couldn't think of another word for it.

Corinthia tapped her fingertips together. "We became friends because we were the only two survivors of a thresher maw attack. He saved me. I don't think he meant to, but he did. Maybe he felt sorry to me, but he let me talk to him and then it just kept going. We continued to work together, got closer and closer... Next thing I knew, he was my best friend and I was his. We're inseparable and they all know it. We both got sent to Torfan and almost everyone died there, except us. Again. Because he saved me. It's stupid," she said with a laugh. "He's always there for me and it doesn't matter if I'm there for him. It seems like, at least."

"I think it does matter," Liara mused. "It must matter very much. Everything about him is so strong that his attachment to you must be the same."

"And you got all of this from spending five seconds in his head."

"Yes, I did," Liara answered as if it were obvious. She cocked her head to one side. "You know him better than you wish to think. He does not think little of you. He thinks more of you than he does of anyone else. I - I am sorry if this is none of my business, but you look so sad right now that I could not help it."

Corinthia smiled weakly. "I know you're trying to be helpful, but... What am I supposed to do, Liara? We're soldiers. It's our job to hunt down Saren and I can't even think about it because I'm fighting with a friend. This is why they give us regs in the first place. It's ridiculous, but it's what happening. I just want to make peace, somehow, try and fix things and get them back to however the were before."

"Is that truly what you want?" Liara asked. "Because I don't believe you. I may not know much about human emotions, but the only time I have seen you look happy was when you were talking about him, even if it was not what you were feeling. It is difficult to explain. If I may?" Liara held up her hands. "I could join minds with you, attempt to clarify."

Corinthia slid her chair back. "Thanks, but no thanks. If it was work, it'd be one thing, but this is personal. I don't mind talking about it, but the whole mind thing kinda freaks me out."

"I see..."

"Not that you're a freak! Because you aren't. I mean, well, we all kinda are, here, at least, but I don't want to confuse you even more. Trust me, my head is totally messed up and your brain might explode if you tried to understand it."

Liara snorted and finally started laughing. Corinthia joined in after a moment and nearly fell out of her chair.

"I can see that being your power," Liara said with a giggle. "Making men's brains explode."

"Anyone's," Corinthia corrected. "You should've seen Shepard the first time we talked. I think I gave him an aneurysm that messed with him so badly that he had to stay friends with me."

Liara leaned in conspiratorially. "Or perhaps you are a secret biotic."

"Me? Hah! If I was a biotic, I'd be stuck at Grissom Academy and doing who knows what else."

Liara turned back to the beacon data, still smiling. "I should get back to this..."

Corinthia opened her omni-tool. "Bet I can find some kind of translation algorithm to help us out. If not, I'll write one. Been a while since I was able to fiddle with things and not have to cover my tracks. Not that I should have to," she added quickly. "Because I don't."

Liara's smile widened. "And why is that a problem? You are curious, as am I. It is only natural."

Corinthai grinned. "Yeah, guess so, but tell that to the Brass. They don't like it when people fiddle around to make things more efficient."

"Meaning that you reassign yourself to the Commander's side."

"Yeppers. Need my daily dose of cynicism and rancor or else I'll go nuts." Corinthia smoothed her bangs over her scars. "And he's sexy. That helps."

"Is he? I am not a good judge of human physical appeal."

"You'll see him without a shirt before long. Then you'll get it."

"Asari do not care about the gender. They see beauty in everything."

Corinthia hesitated. "Uh..."

"It unnerves you."

"No, it doesn't, but I don't... You know..."

"Don't worry, Ci-Ci. I am not about to even attempt to compete with the Commander. Besides, I am not looking for anything like that. I am more concerned with the Protheans and this... Saren, whoever he is."

"Right. Maybe I should explain that part. It's not a long story, but it's kinda complicated. I think. Just... stop me if you get lost or confused."


	18. Reconciliation

**_A/N 7/19/2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, **Author's Explanatory Note: An Update**._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>11 May 2183 — Flux, Market Ward, the Citadel, Widow Cluster, Serpent Nebula<strong>

"Wait, we're going to Flux?" Garrus asked.

Shepard stopped, cracking his neck. "What? You expected Chora's Den?"

"Well, it is a 'man's night'," Alenko replied.

"Like I want some asari waving her ass in front of me," Shepard growled. "Or any stripper, for that matter."

Garrus and Alenko exchanged glances. Alenko knew about Corinthia, but Garrus had no idea — at least, Garrus acted like he had no idea.

"So it's one of those drinking nights," Garrus murmured, pointing to a corner table. This is green. "

"So it's one of those drinking nights," Garrus murmured, pointing to a corner table. "I'm still not clear on why I'm here exactly. I've nursed a few friends through these...things, but you aren't anywhere close to a friend, Shepard."

"You're here because Shepard wasn't going to drink with just me," Alenko said. Meaning that Alenko didn't want to be alone with Shepard.

"So, Lieutenant, fill me in. What exactly is the problem here? Is it a problem with Ci-Ci and Shepard because I'm not exactly qualified for that..." Garrus shifted a bit nervously as they sat down. "It's not really my place and I'm not exactly neutral."

Shepard glared at Alenko. "I thought this was just going to be a binge."

Alenko ignored him. "Shepard kinda... came onto Ci-Ci. That's why he's been pissed and moody. And why Ci-Ci's looked out of it."

Shepard groaned. "Fuck you, Alenko."

"Ah...thing is, I don't see a problem there," Garrus mused. "Ever since I met her, Ci-Ci has done nothing but praise you, Shepard. She went on and on about how great you were, how great the Butcher was. She never said it that way, but that's sure as hell what everyone else thinks. She thinks you're some kind of damn hero. I don't agree.

Shepard gritted his teeth. "So why do I need _your_ approval, Vakarian?"

Garrus intimidatingly narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. "I've known Ci-Ci for years, I've looked out for her. I'm not about to stop."

Shepard crossed his arms. "Why haven't I heard about this? I never even heard of you until the Council Tower."

"Did you ever ask, Shepard?" The turian's gravelly voice began to rise. "You have to have known she would make some friends outside of your godly self. Just because the _Butcher_ doesn't have anyone doesn't mean that Ci-Ci wouldn't. You want my honest opinion?"

Shepard snorted. "Why should I? Alenko, get us some drinks. And the good shit, too."

Garrus stood. "I'll get them. No offense, Lieutenant, but you wouldn't know what to get. I've been here for a while, I know what's good. Calm your boy down so we can have a civilized discussion when I get back." The turian left for the bar, frustrated at the way the evening was shaping up.

Garrus had been watching out for Corinthia for years. Well, sort of. They'd crossed paths, he'd kept her out of trouble, she'd helped him out, and they'd gotten to know each other. She was sweet and innocent, the kind of person Garrus always tried to look out for. He was always the kind of person to look out for people that he didn't think could protect themselves. There was a long list of citizens that he checked in on periodically; Corinthia was one of them. Of course, she checked in more often than not, talking about what she could and then babbling on and on about Shepard. Garrus didn't even have to know about romance (which he didn't know a thing about) to know how much she liked Shepard. So, Garrus had expected some kind of paragon, but instead he'd found that Shepard was cold, ruthless, and almost heartless. Not her type. Actually, Garrus didn't even get why she was interested.

Alenko studied his hands. "Well... Maybe we shouldn't have brought him."

Shepard nodded. "Fucking right."

"What did you want me to do? Sit here alone with you while you bitched?"

"This isn't any of his business."

"Apparently it is. Like he said, you aren't her only friend."

Shepard inhaled deeply. He hadn't thought of that. Or wanted to think of that. He didn't think he was that bad. "Whatever."

"I think you care, Shepard."

"Shut up, Alenko."

"Ready have our discussion, Shepard?" Garrus appeared with three pitchers of what appeared to be beer. One was green, clearly for the turian's dextro-amino acid diet, the other two a deep brown.

"If you got the good stuff, yeah," Shepard replied.

"So, Shepard, why should our girl even consider you?"

Shepard barked with laughter. "Our girl? Are we really having this conversation?"

Garrus shrugged. "Well, if you want our help, you're going to have to prove that I shouldn't put a bullet in your forehead."

Alenko poured himself a glass of beer. "And this is the part where I stay out of it."

Shepard glared at Alenko. "I'm blaming you for this."

"You're the one that asked to go drinking," Alenko replied.

Shepard looked between them. "I'm not getting out of this, am I?" he asked.

Garrus crossed his arms. "Not if you want to be able to talk to her again."

"You don't have any say in that."

"With the way things are going, I'm not sure you're going to," Alenko answered.

Shepard groaned. "Fuck... You two are dicks, you know that?"

Garrus shrugged. "Part of the C-Sec uniform. That death-glare part of yours?"

"Take a guess why."

Garrus leaned forward. "I'll make it easy for you. All I want to know is that you actually like the girl, because you don't strike me as the 'settle down' type. Or even the one woman type."

Shepard stared at his glass. "Never met a woman worth that kind of dedication," he reluctantly answered. "Never thought I'd even want that. Her..."

"You'd better start defining your terms, Shepard, because if it's just to sleep with her —"

"Hell no. That'd be... I mean, she's my friend. Yeah, I'd want to, but that's got nothing to do with her. It. Us. Fuck..." Shepard took a massive drink. "I can't just be friends with her anymore," he continued hoarsely after a long moment. "I can be that without caring. But I — Shit. This was exactly why I don't make friends, especially with girls. They're so... emotional and affectionate and then you just have to start talking to the one that's actually, you know... perfect. Then you're fucked." As annoyed as his words were, he actually sounded fond of her, like he was actually kind of enjoying the fact that she'd gotten to him. His lips were curling into a small, contented smile and he took another drink, this time much smaller. "Been fucked ever since Akuze, if you ask me. Just too damned stubborn to notice."

Garrus relaxed a little. Shepard was certainly being candid, actually showing his feelings about the girl. At least he sounded like he respected her. "So, let me get this straight," he slowly said. "You care about her enough to not touch her?"

"Not unless she asks."

"Good call. Now I can let you live."

Shepard smirked. "As if you'd get in my way."

"Yeah, I already know better. It'd be bad for my health."

Alenko could feel the tension dissipating. "How about another round?" he offered. "This one's on me."

* * *

><p><strong>12 May 2183—<em>SSV Normandy,<em> Docks, the Citadel**

Corinthia and Liara had passed out in the lab. Corinthia's omni-tool had almost fried itself trying unsuccessfully to track down a Prothean code translator. So, she'd had to start creating one. It would take ages, but it would work.

She woke up, her neck so stiff it was painful and her arm asleep. It was the discomfort that woke her, though. Instead, it was the glare of hatred that Shepard had given her back in the conference room. It had bothered her then, but she'd pushed it down and distracted herself. Then again, she hadn't had anywhere to hide.

It had hurt. A lot. Shepard had always looked at her with feelings between tolerance and affection and annoyance, but never dislike, let alone as much as he'd shot at her. She must really have hurt him, on a level that she hadn't even known could be affected. No one got under his skin, not like that.

How had she missed it? How did she not know how much he cared about her? Because she was stupid, or something like that. In reality, she was just scared of what would happen. He held back so much that he'd either show her nothing or hold back nothing. As much as she wanted to see all of him, she was almost terrified of it, too. Every time she thought of him, she couldn't decide if she wanted to be with him or not. She kept using regs as an excuse, but if Shepard put his mind to it, he wouldn't care. He hadn't, which was why he'd kissed her at all.

Corinthia tried to dismiss the image of him disliking her, instead replacing it with how happy he'd seemed the night they'd spent out after he became a Spectre. He'd been then what she wished he could always be: Happy, sweet, and affectionate. Well, at least to her. She thought it was almost hilarious how cold he could be to most anyone else. She explained him away and she would always do that for him, even when he didn't want it.

But, as hard as she tried, she couldn't get the Reds out of her head. Now that the initial shock had passed, she was actually starting to process it. The information had surprised her. It was almost impossible to surprise her; she saw the threads of everything weaving together into a web. The problem was more that she'd created an intricate story to explain him away to herself. Then he'd told the truth and she'd had to put it all back together, fit reality into everything else. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she should've seen it coming, but she'd wanted to think well of him, to excuse his ruthlessness as having been part of some traumatic event. Instead, he'd chosen to be like that.

Well, maybe he did have to be, but at least he'd finally fessed up for it. She was really starting to understand him, not just guess or make something up. Ultimately, however, the only thing that had changed was the context in which she saw him. Knowing his past made everything clearer — worse, but clearer. It also made his latest efforts all the more... endearing. That wasn't the right word, though. Important? Critical? Admirable? Enlightening?

Shepard was changing. A lot, and he was doing it quickly. His interactions with her had been generally kind for a long time, but lately he'd started being downright sweet. Or as close to it as someone like him got. His birthday party, the night he'd become a Spectre, when he'd told her about the Reds... She'd overreacted, at least to him kissing her. He had to know that she cared about him, so much more than she could even start to express, but she hadn't been ready to be with him, not in that moment.

Now, though? If she hadn't messed everything up, she'd let him kiss her again. She'd be with him in a heartbeat, but maybe not just then because of Saren. Because of how much one little misunderstanding had affected the crew. If they did anything, it had to be perfect — no arguments, no spats, no miscommunication. Could Shepard do that? They'd argued almost every time they'd hung out, but she was now almost positive that it had been because he didn't know to be just friends with her anymore.

Corinthia snapped back into reality as Liara started moving. The Lieutenant Commander quickly changed screens of her omni-tool to make it look like she'd been working.

"Any luck?" Liara asked.

"Nope." Corinthia rubbed her eyes. "I'm zonkered. I should get some sleep."

"Yes, yes... Of course. I should have known it would not take one night. I was too eager to think clearly."

Corinthia smiled. "It's fine. I would be, too, if I got access to, I don't know, the Shadow Broker's tools. THAT would be fun and I'd get into so much trouble... Rest up, Liara. Shepard'll probably want you on the next mission or something."

Liara staggered over to the cot in the corner. "Thank you for the warning. I must steel myself for that."

"It's not that bad. Don't worry about him. I'll make sure that he's nice this time around."

Liara hesitated. "Will you be able to? I started to understand some, but I was under the impression that there was much tension between the two of you."

Corinthia sighed. "I'm dealing with it as soon as he gets back. I'll see you around, Liara."

* * *

><p>Joker was pouting, as usual. Shepard and the boys — meaning Garrus and Alenko — had gone out drinking and hadn't invited the pilot. Admittedly, Joker wasn't exactly in the best position to do something like that, nor did he really want to be anywhere near a drunken Commander, but it was more of the fact that Shepard had snapped at every attempt at wit that hurt Joker. Well, "hurt" being a word chosen out of self-pity. Joker really didn't care, but he kinda wanted the mood to lighten a little more. It was like someone had upped the cabin pressure and exchanged all the air for lead. Not cool.<p>

Even Corinthia was acting pissy. Then again, she and Liara had holed themselves up in the medical lab like two thieves and a shiny new gem. They were just begging for trouble. Or to make the place spontaneously combust in a fit of giggles. Women were trouble, if you asked Joker. Not that he had much experience, but that was because they were trouble. Cyclical argument or not, he was going to stick to it like the stubborn man he was.

Corinthia came up, stretching. "Any sign of Shepard?" she asked.

"You kidding me? They ran out of here like their asses were on fire," Joker answered. He hesited. "I heard him muttering your name a few times. What'd you do?"

"None of your damn business," Corinthia answered. "Are you always this nosy?"

"I don't get to move around much so I have to get my gossip from everyone else," Joker replied, dripping as much sarcasm as he could. "I thought you'd be a good choice, knowing the Commander so well."

Corinthia groaned. "Please, don't... Seriously. Shepard will flip a gasket — wait, it's blow a gasket, isn't it? Urgh, this whole thing is frying my mind." She rubbed her temples, fingering the smooth scar tissue on one side. "Did Shepard say why we're even here?"

"Drinking," Joker answered. "Maybe you can find a better excuse, but I can't think of one."

Corinthia opened her omni-tool. "There's a long list, actually. A very long list. I'll arrange some meetings and make it look like we're dealing with Saren. Which we will be true, mostly."

"What are you? His secretary?"

"His buffer."

Shepard staggered onto the _Normandy, _laughing hysterically and trying to support Alenko with Garrus's help. None of them could remember having that much fun in a long time (Shepard and Corinthia hadn't had fun hanging out in years, even if he enjoyed being around her. Besides, Shepard could only remember the hang over after the night they did have fun).

Joker craned his neck to see what was going on. "Damn it, I'll fracture a vertebra to do this…" he muttered.

Garrus caught his breath. "So I looked at the guy and said, 'That's fine, but why are you wearing her helmet?'"

Shepard pounded the floor, unable to speak. Alenko clutched his side. Joker looked between the three of them, aghast. "Looks like someone decided to drink the whole bar. And you didn't think to bring me any?"

Corinthia pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. She'd been out with him enough times to know that Shepard certainly wasn't as drunk as he could've been. If anything, she could laugh because she knew the story about the guy, the girl, and the helmet.

"Commander, are you unfit for command?" Corinthia asked, hoping that some kind of joke would make him less likely to go all cold on her.

"Yes, very unfit," he answered, clumsily getting to his feet. He swayed as he tried to lean forward intimidatingly. "I gladly defer to the most beautiful woman in the Alliance, even if she did… snub me."

Corinthia relaxed. He hadn't even stiffened or flinched, just flirted. Well, that wasn't a good thing since she was technically still on duty, but it was better than what they'd had before.

She laughed. "That isn't the word I would use."

Garrus and Alenko helped each other up.

"Commander, why is the ship tilted?" Alenko asked.

"It's not tilted. You are," Joker answered. "It might help if you turn your head upright… Yeah like that."

Garrus pawed the ground. "Seems stable enough, but is she space worthy?"

Corinthia held up her hands. "Okay, boys. You need some serious recoup. And water and some food, too. Higgins, Arms, please help me get them to bed."

Two of the crew stood, saluted, and did as they were ordered. Corinthia ducked under one of Shepard's arms and walked him towards the back of the _Normandy_. He leaned heavily on her and made it nearly impossible to get down the stairs to the crew quarters.

"Why do you insist on getting drunk so often?" she groaned.

"Maybe you're giving me a good reason to," he answered, grinning deviously.

She set him on his bed and set about trying to unstrap his boots. He fell backwards and stared at the ceiling. They weren't arguing, which was a good start. She was taking care of him. Again. He didn't know if he liked it or not, her taking care of him. She did it so many times, but maybe it was recompense for her reaction before... He didn't know. His mind was too muddled and fuzzy to think properly, anyway. Just being with her was starting to make him feel better. Or something.

"I fucked up," he said after a long moment.

"It's okay," she answered. "I get it."

"I'm not talking about tonight."

"I know." She tugged off his shoes and set them in the closet. She ran her fingers through her hair, releasing a long breath. "I messed up, too."

Shepard propped himself up on his elbows. "Bullshit."

She smiled, bemused. "Are you sober enough to even be having this talk?"

"Yeah. I only had, like, five. Stopped drinking when I decided to... talk to you. Deal with this."

"Okay..." Corinthia went to the door and locked it. She rested her hand on the frame, not looking at him. "Look, no matter what else we talk about, we have to agree now that we can't keep acting like this. You and I have to act like we're professional for all of this, alright? There can't be any bad blood between us, not with something this critical. I can get myself reassigned if you need it, but if we're on the same ship, we _can't_ keep acting like this."

Shepard spread his hands. His good mood was going quickly, the less tipsy and more sober he became. "You think I liked it? I fucking hated it! Yeah, it was only a couple days, but you've never been this pissed at me before —"

Corinthia held up a hand. "I'm not pissed at you, okay?" She stepped forward, kneeling before him and taking his hands before he could continue. "And don't talk, either. You'll just shoot yourself in the foot and you know it." She inhaled deeply, gathering her words. "You caught me off guard with your story. I told myself that I'd be your friend no matter what, but I needed time to, you know, fit everything in with what I'd guessed. I still need time, really, but if you'd just... waited until after Therum, then maybe..."

"Cassie..." Shepard murmured. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, nor could he dare to hope.

Corinthia bit her lip. "What do you want me to say, John? That I like you? That I care about you? I do. Both of those things. A lot. Enough that it could get me into trouble. You scared me a little. I..." She blushed. After a second, she sat on the bed next to him.

Shepard didn't need to hear her say anything else. He intertwined his fingers with hers, leaning in slightly. She stiffened.

"Cassie, please, just trust me," he murmured.

She nodded slowly. "You know I do, but I'm not..."

Shepard gently put his lips against her temple, right over her newest scar. He'd kissed plenty of women, but never like that — never softly or kindly or anything but their lips.

"It's fine," he reassured her. "I'm not sure that I am, either, but I just know that... Fuck, how do I say this?"

Corinthia smiled. "I don't think you have to. Well, okay, I'll want to hear it eventually, yeah, just so I know, but... I get it. I think. You... and me..."

"Us," Shepard put in, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb.

"Us," she repeated quietly.

"Yeah. I mean, you're... shit. I had it — the words for it — earlier." He ran a hand over his head.

"I already told you that you don't have to."

"But I want to. I can' t just assume anything with you because you keep goddamn surprising me. Just give me a second to figure out what to say." Shepard stared at their hands, unable to even express how relieved he was that they could sit like that. "You know I don't talk; I do, so this isn't —"

"John, shh," Corinthia murmured, putting her head on his shoulder. "Will it be easier if I ask the questions?"

"Maybe..."

She took a deep breath. He could feel her blushing as she asked, "Do you like me? Romantically, I mean."

"Yes," he answered, swallowing hard. His heart raced. He'd just admitted to liking her, which was either a dream come true or his worst nightmare.

Thankfully, she didn't move. "Do you want to be more than friends?"

"Yes." Shepard wanted to stop her, but it was only half-heartedly. He felt weak and vulnerable, like he'd exposed his only weakness and she was readying to strike. Part of him knew that she wouldn't do that, at least intentionally, but oftentimes she didn't understand the affect she had on people. He started as her head left his shoulder. For a second, he panicked, thinking that he'd driven her off, but instead she touched his cheek to make him look her in the eye.

"Can you wait?"

Her question took Shepard a little by surprise. Actually, he hadn't known what to expect because every scenario was just wrong in his head. It didn't matter if she was asking about sex or simply being together or both, because the same answer came to the tip of his tongue and tumbled out before he thought about it.

"Yeah. Not like I'm ever going to feel like this again."

Corinthia cocked her head to one side. "Inebriated?"

Shepard laughed, putting his arm around her shoulders. "You're pushing your luck for some stupid-ass sappy comment, Ci-Ci."

She laughed maniacally. "I'll extract them from you before long. Now... How the hell am I going to swing this with the Brass?"

Shepard shrugged. "We don't tell them."

"The entire crew already guesses."

"Fuck 'em. I don't care. Not like they'll investigate again. Besides, I'm a Spectre. I can do what I want."

"Hah. THAT I'd like to see."

She made to stand, but Shepard pulled her back. "Stay," he murmured, putting a hand on her waist. He drew her closer to him, almost like he was going to kiss her, but he remembered himself — and the fact that she'd just asked him to wait for... something — and didn't bring her as close as he wanted.

She shook her head. "You need to sleep. I'll be your teddy bear some other time."

Shepard smirked. "That a promise?"

"Good night, John." She went to the door.

"Hey, Cassie."

"Yeah?"

He took a deep breath. "Thanks, for... For coming to me. For listening to all that and not hitting me. For... being there through all the shit I've put you through."

Corinthia smiled, coming back to him. She slipped into his arms, snuggling up against his chest. "It's what I'm here for: empathy, understanding, and apathy. Not that I don't care about you, because I do. Wrong word, damn it. What am I trying to think of?"

Shepard was more than happy to hold her against him, so he just embraced her, probably more tightly than he should have for an innocent moment.

"Uh... Forgiveness?" he offered.

"Yes! That's the one! You're so smart."

"Not nearly as smart as you."

"Oh, hush, child." She wriggled a little in his grip. "Uhm, you gonna let me go?"

"What? Oh, yeah. Right." Reluctantly, he let her out of his grip. "You -You aren't going to apologize for this in the morning, are you?"

Corinthia turned crimson. "Assuming you don't change your mind."

"You know how stubborn I am." He wasn't ready to tell her how long he spent fighting his feelings, but the words almost came out. "As if I'd go back on this. I'm not fucking this up. I can't afford to do that again." He honestly felt a little desperate to convince her that he wasn't going to change his mind, but the moment she smiled, he knew he could relax.

"I think we've been thought enough to say that we're both too stubborn to let our friendship crash and burn," she replied, grinning.

"This isn't just friendship anymore, Cassie."

"I know." She giggled.

Shepard stroked her cheek, running his fingers along her scars. He wanted to kiss her, so badly, but she had to get used to it — him — first. God knew he wasn't the most patient of men, by any means, but he'd survived this long. Still, she was sure that she'd get used to it quickly; she had always adjusted to change well.

"I should go," she said after a long moment, sounding disappointed to be leaving him. Her cheeks were crimson and Shepard was almost positive she'd think this was a dream in the morning

"Yeah..." he answered. As much as he wanted to, he wasn't going to fight it. It wasn't the time for that, with her being as shy as she was and with everything being so... new. And fucking great.

"Night." She hesitantly kissed his cheek before going. Shepard saw it coming, thought about intercepting her, but didn't. He'd done that once before and he didn't want another fight after such a good night.

The second the door closed, Shepard fell back against his bed, a stupid grin spread across his face. For the first time that he could remember, he actually felt happy, to the point that he thought he could laugh. Sure, he hadn't made out with her, but he wasn't stupid enough to try that twice without her asking for it. Besides, all good things came to those that waited.

Best of all, she hadn't hated him. She cared about him. _Him_. He didn't deserve it, he knew, but he wasn't going to take it for granted. He'd die fighting to keep her if he had to.


	19. Finch

**_A/N 7/19/2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, **Author's Explanatory Note: An Update**._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>19 May 2183—Outside Chora's Den, Market Ward, the Citadel<strong>

Shepard had been in an uncommonly good mood for the last few days, to the point that he even let a near-psychotic fan named Conrad Verner get an autograph and picture.

"Tell anyone about that," he growled, "and —"

Corinthia laughed. "And what? Seriously, Shep, you can't threaten me and you know. BUT I like your badass reputation too much to go blabbing. But tell that to him." She jerked her thumb back to the ecstatic Verner. "You just discovered the nice side of being famous."

Shepard snorted. "I hate pussies like that."

"Then why'd you indulge him?"

Shepard shrugged. "Because you'd get pissed if I punched him in the face?"

"Aw, you don't need to go worrying about what I think."

"Too late." Shepard hesitated outside the entrance to Chora's Den. "And this isn't your kind of place."

Corinthia snickered. "Yeah, point, but I've already been inside a couple times. I talked to Harkin for you, remember?"

"Who?"

"Oh, nevermind. But, yeah, I've been in before and it's uncomfortable."

"Do you want to go somewhere else?"

She gestured to herself. "Armor. On Duty. Any of those phrases ring a bell?"

Shepard shook his head. "Ruining the fun already..."

"What fun? We're taking care of some business while everyone else is on leave."

Shepard groaned. It had been almost a week and nothing had changed, at least in terms of them. Yeah, they'd gotten over the argument, but Corinthia hadn't come to him or attempted to get close to him, either. Granted, they hadn't really had a chance; Shepard didn't want to be surprised during another mission. He wasn't particularly eager to turn over every stone — that job wasn't for the commander of the ship — but he didn't have another option. Well, he did, but it was an excuse to be alone with her for a while. Yeah, they were no duty, but there wasn't anyone else to get in the way.

He knew it was stupid and a dumb thing to do, but he was still residually freaked out from her almost dying on Eden Prime. And he wanted to see how long it would take her to come around. Being in uniform wasn't the best start, but it was still a start.

"Well, fuck me sideways, if it isn't little Johnny Shepard!"

Shepard froze in his tracks, his heart racing. He knew that voice: Finch, a member of the Reds. It was one that he had never, ever expected to hear again. He'd blown up an entire building to get away from them, and now one was just calling out to him?

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "That's Commander Shepard to you," she snapped.

Shepard would have been grateful for her intervention except for that he was about to start shooting. Or throw Finch through a wall. Out an airlock. Make his head explode. Something. Honestly, he just wanted to be able to walk by and not think about it ever again.

"Seriously? Damn, and is that N7?" Finch stepped in front of Shepard. "C'mon, Johnny, talk to an old frie —"

Finch's words choked in his mouth as Shepard enveloped him in a biotic hold. In a flash, Corinthia was at Shepard's side, one hand on the back of his neck over his tattoo and the other gripping his wrist to try and make him let down his biotics.

"Commander," she murmured. "Whoever he is, he hasn't done anything to you."

Shepard didn't look at her, even though her touch was calming him with every beat of his heart. He inhaled, casually tossing Finch into the opposite wall. "Stay away from me," he growled, storming off.

Finch rubbed his throat. "Talk about ungrateful..." He looked at Corinthia. "What're you? His girlfriend?"

"Partner," Corinthia corrected, putting her palm on her pistol. She took out her omni-tool, waving it before him. "And if I were you, I'd get your ass out of here before Shepard really decides to kill you. Before you ask, I know who you are."

Finch looked her up and down. "You don't know who you're dealing with."

"Yes, I do: some two-bit enforcer thug for the Reds." Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "And what's this? A whole list of little things you've been implicated with. I'm pretty sure I could find some evidence to get you convicted..."

Shepard came back, putting a pistol to Finch's head. "I'm only going to say this once: Leave me the fuck alone. Go back to whatever hole the Reds crawled into and never, ever try to contact me again, because if you do, I will finish what I started eleven years ago. You got that, you fucking son of a bitch?"

Finch nodded quickly. Even if he had intended to lean on the Commander, Shepard wasn't the same guy that had walked out of that building in Los Angeles. This man was deadly, dangerous, and unwavering.

"Yeah, yeah," Finch said breathlessly. "Don't know what I was thinking, sir. You sure look like Johnny, but you aren't him. I'll just be on my way, okay? Okay?" He got to his feet and skittered off.

Shepard's chest heaved. He wasn't sure how or why, but Finch was still breathing. He was gone, but he was still breathing. That wasn't how Shepard operated, leaving loose ends like that.

Corinthia put an arm around his shoulders, fingers stroking over his tattoo. "C'mon, let's get back to the _Normandy_ or something."

Shepard shook her off. "Just leave me alone."

"No."

Shepard stiffened. He wasn't sure that she'd ever told him that before. All he wanted to do was destroy something, but she was going to sit there and stroke his hand like he was some helpless child.

Corinthia, however, didn't touch his hand. Instead, she just kept rubbing the back of his neck. "We don't have to talk or anything. I just know that look."

Shepard took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He was calming down and beginning to feel more like himself. The fact was that he'd been scared of Finch — less of the man and more of what he could do. Finch could ruin Shepard with a single breath by letting everyone know Shepard had been one of them. Yeah, he'd gotten rid of any physical evidence, but there were still Reds breathing, so any word from one of them could send his life crashing down.

In a flash, it occurred to him how weird it would look for him and Corinthia to be standing there in full armor, her hand on the base of his skull. He reached around, grabbed her wrist, and pushed her touch aside.

"Not here," he said, voice hoarse.

She nodded. "Yeah, sorry. Drink?"

"No." He leaned against a railing, staring down into the lower floors of the Market Ward. People milled about like ants in their hill. Every last one of them thought that their minuscule lives were so important that no one else mattered. They had no idea that their entire existence was in danger, that Shepard was the only thing standing between them and Saren's geth invasion. Or whatever the goddamn turian was up to. Even Finch, that slimy cowardly bastard, had his own little insignificant agenda.

And every last one of those people thought that Shepard could solve their problems. It was one thing to take a request from Hackett or let members of the crew run errands in Shepard's name, but it was another for people to thrust their personal problems onto him. Corinthia was too soft and couldn't say no to anyone (well, except to him just then), but it was her time to do with what she wanted. It wasn't like an investigation was straightforward. Not that he'd done one before; that was her thing. He just went where he was told, although he was relishing being able to do whatever the hell he wanted.

Corinthia leaned next to him, tugging on her fingers to crack her knuckles. "Alright. Hug?"

He thumped his chest, knuckle guards clapping against the hard exoskeleton of his armor. "Pointless and awkward."

"Oh, right." She shifted uncomfortably. "Want me to get him arrested?"

Shepard barked with laughter. "Can you?" he asked after a moment.

"Sure. It's not that complicated, really. Just a few tactful submissions to C-Sec — this time I'll tell them that I'm the Shadow Broker — and, badda bing badda bam, one arrested gang member!" She wiggled her fingers as if she were casting a spell. "Yay! No more Red Herring!"

"Finch," Shepard corrected.

"No more Yellow Bellied Bird Bastard!"

Shepard snickered and shook his head. "Just don't get yourself into trouble."

She winked. "You know me. I won't do that."

Her omni-tool flared to life and she stared manipulating screens. Shepard tried to watch her, but she was moving too quickly and he had a feeling that he could get arrested for even being privy to the types of security she was breezing through.

"Done," she said after about ten minutes. "Someone should pick him up in the next couple hours."

"Know why he was here?"

"To get another buddy out of trouble. But... yeah, that's not happening." She moved closer to him. "You okay?" she murmured.

"No."

She tugged off her glove, grabbing his hand to do the same. He raised an eyebrow. "Determined, are we?" he asked, torn between amusement and annoyance.

She succeeded in freeing his hand and interlaced her fingers with his. "This is my job, right? Make you feel better? Calm you down and all that fun stuff?"

He sighed. "I guess. Whatever." Still, he didn't release her.

Corinthia hesitated before saying, "I know how you feel, you know."

"I doubt that."

"Wanting to kill everything that reminds you of a terrible part in your life? Yes, I do."

Shepard had almost forgotten, between her smiles and goofy grins, that she'd had almost as bad a childhood as he had.

"Cerberus," he muttered, tightening his grip on her hand. Frankly, he didn't like them much, either, but he was pretty sure that his own vendetta against them was stronger than hers. After all, he was the only one to have done something to get back at them. He'd liked the idea of fighting them for her, and honestly he still did, in a sense. She could take care of herself (mostly), but if he took care of it, it was one less thing that she had to face.

Corinthia whimpered slightly. He realized just how hard he was squeezing her fingers and released her.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded, shaking out her hand. "Yeah, fine. It's fine. You're riled up."

Shepard exhaled, glad that she could shrug off pain. "I'll get over it."

"You really thought all of this was behind you," she observed, putting her hand back in his.

"Not exactly. Not like I ever got over being with them," Shepard muttered.

"You're better than all of that."

"Prove it."

"Akuze."

"What about it?"

"You didn't have to save me. You could've gotten out of there on your own, escaped the thresher, everything. You didn't need me, but you dragged me out, anyway. The same on Torfan: you kept protecting me."

"You're a special case," Shepard muttered. "You should know that by now."

"Would you have made an exception before?"

"I never had a reason."

"That wasn't my question."

Shepard thought for a moment. "No, I wouldn't," he said, his voice low and near silent.

"Exactly. You care."

Shepard shook his head. "Whatever I wanted to do to Finch... It's gone. That bastard isn't worth my time."

"Good. That's my tough guy." She got on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

Shepard hesitated. "Cassie..."

"Huh?"

"Not now... What that makes me want... We're doing that alone." He smirked. "Not putting you on display."

"Display? How would you — Oh. _Oh_." She turned crimson.

"What? You can't be that freaked out about it."

"It's just... I mean, you're my friend. Won't it be weird?"

"I... have other friends."

"Against your will. Garrus told me you stared him down for an hour over me."

Shepard groaned. "Vakarian..."

"He said it was hilarious. That you're more protective than a mother varren."

"With damn good reason."

"In case there were other guys like you used to be after me, right?"

"What was that?" he growled.

She blanched. "I was kidding! And I said 'like you used to be'. You aren't exactly cuddly now, but you're not a bad guy either. Badass? Totally. But bad? Nah. Only in the bad-boy context."

Shepard was starting to feel better, but he wanted to be off duty so he could get some more appropriate physical comfort from her. Even if he hated feeling weak, he knew he could be like that around her, get it out of his system while he could so that it wouldn't come back to bite him later.

"Cuddly?" he repeated.

"Well, yeah... I mean, you are when you're black-out drunk, but..." She blushed, remembering her shock at waking up with him in bed with her.

Shepard smirked. "You know you liked it."

"Well, yeah, of course I did because I liked you, but you freaked me out, you know?"

"If I do it again, I'll keep my shirt on."

"And pants. Don't forget those."

"You don't expect me to sleep in my casuals, do you?" Shepard groaned. "Damn it..."

Corinthia laughed. "You don't expect me to sleep — oh, wait, you do?"

Shepard put a hand over her mouth before she talked herself into her own grave. "Calm down, Cassie. This isn't a discussion for here, anyway. You know what the Alliance will do, given the chance." He removed his palm from her lips. "This is going to be complicated."

"And?" she answered softly. "It always has been."

"Yeah..." Shepard ran a hand over his head. "What other messages do you have from the Citadel?"

She wasn't so sure that she wanted to just drop the topic, but she understood his hesitation. As if they needed any more pressure in their lives, especially from each other. "A few messages. There's an admiral that needs some help, and an asari diplomat and that guy who tried to talk to you outside the embassy... Why? I thought you didn't like it here."

Shepard pulled his glove back on. "Not exactly looking forward to Anderson's next lead. If it's anything like the last one, we're in for a shit storm and I want to be as ready as possible."

Corinthia took the hint and opened her omni-tool. "I'll look into Noveria and Feros, then. Maybe I can find something before we show up."

"Isn't that supposed to be your job?"

"Nah. I'm here to look pretty and keep you in line." She grinned, winked, and jerked a thumb towards the market. "And to tell you that we're gonna need better armor, guns, and technology."

"As in you want a new omni-tool."

"Yeppers. Pretty much."

He groaned. "Ci-Ci?"

"Hm?"

"No."

* * *

><p><strong>The Council Tower<strong>

Admiral Kahoku could hardly believe it when he saw Lieutenant Commander Corinthia-Imreas and Commander Shepard walk up.

"You both got my message. Good," he started, relieved. "I wouldn't trust anyone else with this matter."

Shepard glanced at Corinthia. She hadn't even explained what Kahoku wanted, but the beep on his omni-tool told him that she'd just forwarded the message.

Corinthia nodded. "You have a scouting party missing, Admiral. That's really all I got from the message."

Kahoku nervously clasped his hands behind his back. "I'd hoped you would've had time to analyze the data."

Shepard wasn't going to be left in the dark. "Sir, I have yet to be made aware of the situation. The Lieutenant Commander here thought that it was important, so I came along."

"I sent a group of marines on a rescue mission," Kahoku explained. "They were investigating a distress signal, and then the connection to them just went dead. You've both been in that situation before, so who better to look into it?"

Shepard's mind flashed to Akuze and how close they'd been to dying. Corinthia seemed unfazed by the revelation and he strongly suspected that she'd already guessed that. She wouldn't have dragged him along if she didn't think it was important, which also meant that she'd just lied to a superior officer. Not that that was something knew — Shepard had seen her do it before — but it wasn't, exactly, a good thing. Even Shepard made a habit of telling the truth.

Shepard inclined his head. "Do you have any other details, sir?"

Kahoku shook his head. "No."

Shepard didn't need to see Corinthia's raised eyebrow to know that Kahoku was lying. "I see. We'll look into it, Admiral."

"Thank you," Kahoku breathed, visibly relaxing.

Shepard and Corinthia saluted before leaving.

"You know the rest of the story?" Shepard asked once they were in the elevator.

Corinthia shrugged. "I've got a good idea."

"Should I go buy a grenade launcher?"

She laughed. "More like some kind of anti-acid shield upgrade. I don't want to get melted by the maws, you know?"

"You sure that it's the same?"

"It's the exact same situation. I'm not going in there as anything but ready," Corinthia answered. "If we're wrong, it'll be a pleasant surprise, you know?"

"It'd damn well better be," Shepard muttered, "because it it's another fucking ambush. I'm going to lose it."

She patted his arm. "That I'd like to see. You going all psycho on the baddies. Blood and guts everywhere! Woohoo!"

Shepard tried not to laugh. Even if she was being completely serious, she didn't sound like it at all. Actually, she sounded like she just unlocked a new omni-tool program. He pressed his lips together, finally guffawing as Corinthia pulled a particularly hilarious grimace and cried, "O ye damned wyrms, meet thy bane-ish doom upon the exploding shrapnel of our gadzooking blunderbusses!"

"Where the _fuck_ did that come from?" he asked between spasms of laughter.

"My id? Don't you know I was a Shakespearean actor in another life?" She grinned innocently. "What?" she asked after he started laughing again. "What'd I say?"

If they weren't in a glass elevator, Shepard would have been pulling her into a hug or something, but the doors were opening and everyone on the Presidium was already staring at him for laughing like a total fool.

"You know, you're actually kinda cute when you're laughing," Corinthia mused, stepping ahead of him and leaving him to follow on his own. "Otherwise you're just damned scary. Not that I care; that's sexy, too."

Shepard gritted his teeth, finally reining in his amusement. "If we weren't in the open..."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Then what?"

"You'll see. Just don't freak."

"No promises there."

"Then I'll just tell you what I'm gonna do about half a second before I do it."

"Uhm... Should I be scared?"

"No." Shepard smirked. "Just don't expect to breathe for about an hour."

* * *

><p><strong>20 May 2183—Medical Lab, <em>SSV Normandy<em>, en route to Edolus, Sparta System, Artemis Tau Cluster**

Corinthia hunched over her monitor, eyes glazed over as she tried to analyze the data from Kahoku. They'd sent deep space probes to get initial scans of the planet and so far nothing was coming back. Well, nothing worse than what her initial reports had been for Akuze. She was starting to get worried. Her hair was standing on end from how many times she'd run her fingers through it. The fact that she was finding nothing was worse than if she'd found something.

Liara peeked over her shoulder. "Have you found a Prothean language analyzer?" the asari asked.

Corinthia shook her head. "Working on other stuff," she answered casually. "Just... stuff. Sorry. I can't concentrate on it at all — your stuff or mine or anyone's." Corinthia ran her hands over her face. "This whole damn this is... I don't know. Being on good terms with Shep again helps, yeah, but at the same time it makes everything worse."

Liara put her hand on Corinthia's shoulder. "I don't understand. You care about him."

Corinthia sighed. "That makes it worse, actually. Regs and stuff. Look, thanks it's all between us and the Alliance. Right now my problem is —"

"That you are looking at a very vast series of numbers that show there is nothing there," Liara replied, her eyes barely glancing over the data. "The _Normandy's _scanners are good, but this is barely grazing the surface. I have been on enough digs to know that we just go there and personally scan to see what lies beneath. I have some algorithms that may help, if you wish."

"Oh, yeah. Great." Corinthia slid out of her chair to let Liara take a look.

"Go talk to him," Liara murmured. "I would be happy to look at this for you and see if I can find anything else."

Corinthia groaned. "He's probably sleeping off — uh, the Citadel," Corinthia answered. She wasn't going to blab about Finch or any of that.

"Just go," Liara urged. "You aren't the only one with computer skills, Ci-Ci. I am actually quite adept at this thing."

Corinthia smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Liara."

Liara inclined her head. "Of course. I am here to help."

Corinthia wandered out of the medical lab, hesitating before Shepard's door. The Captain's cabin was essentially off-limits to the crew unless summoned and she was pretty sure that if she went in there, she wouldn't be coming out anytime soon.

Still, they'd both had one hell of a day. She hadn't shown just how shaken she was because Shepard himself was already dealing with enough. Now wasn't the time to do a thing like that, but she could feel her hands starting to shake with nerves. She didn't want to face another thresher maw. She didn't want to face another situation where they could lose everything again.

Right as she raised her fist to knock on Shepard's door, it slid open and she found herself staring him directly in the throat.

"Ci-Ci," he said, clearly surprised. He stepped back. "I was just about to come find you."

"Oh, right," she answered, flushing. "Uhm..."

"Yeah," he answered, reading her mind and gesturing for her to come inside. He locked the door behind her. "You okay?"

"Huh?"

"You look a little shaken."

She ran her fingers through her hair, pointing to his bed to ask if she could sit. He nodded and she took a seat. For a moment, she looked like she expected him to join her, but when he didn't, she just fell back with a huff of frustration.

"Long day?" Shepard asked, leaning against the wall.

"My eyes hurt," she answered, staring at the ceiling. "Been staring at the readings from Ak — Edolus for the last five hours. Can't find anything."

Shepard took a deep breath. "Too familiar, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah..."

Shepard shifted uncomfortably. "You want to talk about it?"

"It doesn't matter. It's just another search and rescue."

"Like hell it is. As if it's coincidence you dragged me into that fucking tower for something that basic."

She chuckled "And people think you're just a thug."

"Fuck 'em." He came and sat next to her, putting his hand on her knee. "Akuze tore you up more than you ever let on, didn't it?"

She pressed her lips together before whispering, "Yeah."

"Like your mom's death."

She rolled onto her side. "Yeah."

"Cassie, I didn't mean — Damn it." Shepard mentally kicked himself. He moved his hand to her shoulder. "Look, I just — What am I supposed to do?" He pulled her back towards him so that he could see her eyes. "What do you want me to do?"

Corinthia had never, ever expected to hear him say those words, especially to her. Her cheeks reddened as his fingers stroked her cheek, brushing her hair away from her face. He was leaning over her, too, but not moving closer. He was worried — not about the mission, but about her. His face barely showed it, but she knew where to look. The way his eyebrows knitted together just a little more than usual, how his eyes weren't murderous or hateful, and the way he kept searching her face for some kind of answer.

"I don't know, John," she finally answered. "Part of me doesn't want to look."

"You said that about the Cerberus mission," Shepard replied.

"That was different. You were assigned —"

"I volunteered. For you. Because you didn't know what to do. I did: Get rid of the bastards."

"I never — You... did that for me?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Killing the past always made me feel better... But you're not me. I — fuck, this is all — I don't know what makes you smile or anything. What'll make you happy and all that sappy shit." He shook his head. "God, how do you even put up with me? I'm terrible at this. Like when I tried to compliment you all those times, remember?"

She smiled faintly. "Yeah, I remember. 'You look nice'," she mimicked, doing a very poor imitation of his voice. She laughed.

"You did. You still do." Shepard sighed, reaching out for her scars and drawing the back of his hand along them. He could feel her blush. God, he wanted to kiss her, but he wasn't going to. She'd said that she needed space; he was going to give her that until she indicated otherwise. He was going to kill himself doing it, though. There was only so much he could take before he'd eventually...give in.

"You're just saying that," Corinthia replied. "But if you said it any other way, you'd be trying to hard."

"I'm not becoming some fucking romantic sap."

Corinthia giggled. "I can see it now..." She grimaced. "No, no. Creepy image, that. Totally creepy. You just keep up the badass thing. I like that one."

Shepard smirked. "You know that would mean that I don't respect you, right?"

"Impossible. You're a total softie at heart. At least for me. I guess. I think..." She pursed her lips.

"Should I just assume you're never going to make a move on me?" Shepard asked.

"It'd be a good guess."

"Not even to let me know when you don't need space anymore?"

"I'd like to be swept off my feet, you know?"

"Thanks for the tip," Shepard muttered. _There goes that mood..._ "Feel better?"

"Yeah..."

"Get some rest. Hopefully you won't need it."


	20. Akuze Redux

**_A/N 7/19/2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, **Author's Explanatory Note: An Update**._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>21 May 2183 — Edolus, Sparta System, Artemis Tau Cluster<strong>

Corinthia's knuckles were white as she clenched the steering wheel of the Mako. Of course, not that anyone could see beneath her armor. Even though she and Shepard had organized a tactical plan to avoid thresher maws if they showed up, she was so nervous that she thought she was going to be sick. Shepard had worked with her to try and make her feel less wound up about the mission and she hadn't even heard him when he suggested that she stay on the _Normandy_.

Somehow, this mission had become personal. He hadn't quite seen it the night before, but the way her eyes had hardened meant that she'd found something else — something she wasn't going to tell him about. Yet. He'd get it out of her before the end.

Shepard had always thought that she'd taken the losses from Akuze well. She'd cried a couple times, but she'd never lapsed into depression over it. Worse, she'd barely opened up to him and he was supposed to be the one to comfort her, for her to trust so that he could help her like she did him.

To be on the safe side, Shepard had asked Liara to come as well. Not only had the girls bonded, but Liara could use her biotic fields to protect the Mako while Shepard and Corinthia took down any maws that appeared.

Frankly, Shepard thought Corinthia was being paranoid. They would see what was happening on Edolus, get the bodies (or, at least, their dog tags), and leave. In and out. Then they could move on to more important things. Prove that Akuze was an isolated incident.

Torfan may have given him a reputation, but Akuze followed him. It wasn't in an obvious way, either. Actually, he wasn't sure how to describe it. It was as if that moment, when the thresher maws had broken through the earth, wasn't going to be the last time he'd face overwhelming odds that he could do nothing but run from. _Run_. Shepard didn't do that, ever, but he had in that moment. He didn't regret it; if he hadn't, he never would have become friends with Corinthia. The fact was, though, that he'd only managed to get her out alive and, although he'd save her life a thousand times, he secretly wished that he could've gotten everyone out alive. It was as much about the stigma of being a survivor at any cost as it was about doing his job. The first rule of being a soldier was to come home alive, but the law of the marines was no man left behind. Shepard still had a bit of trouble believing the latter, except in Corinthia's case, but now that he was a Spectre, it was like he _had_ to care. Was supposed to or some stupid shit like that. And, the truth was, he did care; he always had, but had been too selfish and pig-headed to do anything about it — a ruthless bastard, an ass-hole, and a renegade, not to mention the anger management issues, acidic sarcasm, a mini-nuke, and "I don't give a fuck" tattooed on his forehead.

To be marked as a survivor didn't bother him. He was one and the horrific things he'd seen hadn't bothered him in the least. What did, though, was that they'd been ambushed. He hadn't been ready. Those marines were innocent. Well, in a sense. They couldn't have fought off that attack. They were dead in the blink of an eye and he watched. He survived. It wasn't quite survivor's guilt — after all, he didn't feel that kind of thing — because it didn't make him worthless; it enraged him.

On Torfan, he'd known that they could win and he took that victory. It had cost him, but that was expected in war. To that day, the deaths of every last soldier didn't bother him in the least. The incidents were all that different, but the mercs they'd fought on that moon weren't maws. It had been war, where there were acceptable losses for acceptable goals. That was part of being an officer, what set the command apart from the raw recruit. Shepard could handle that. But losses without good reason? That made him want revenge — well, a glorified kind of it, because more than anger or a desire for justice drove him. Yeah, they were marines and their job was to get in harm's way and put their lives on the line, but it was different to take a bullet in a fight than to be killed when ambushed.

But since when had soldiers been innocent? Shepard's train of thought screeched to a halt. Soldiers, marines, officers... They knew the risks. Every last one of them signed a waiver stating that their death wasn't the Alliance's fault. It was understood that they'd get a medal for being hurt in combat at one point or another. Even on Akuze, they'd been prepared for the worst, and something worse than that had happened, but that didn't make them innocent or make them deserve his pity. Torfan had been about getting the job done, no matter the cost, but was it, in fact, too high?

What the fuck was wrong with him?

Then, the answer came to him, so obvious that he almost smiled: Corinthia. That goddamn woman was rubbing off on him in more ways than he'd expected. It wasn't a bad thing, but it sure as hell was amusing to think that she'd gotten to him _that_ much. It had started just to protect her, keep her safe, but now he was going to show her, and everyone else around, that Akuze wasn't going to happen again. Not on his watch. Not one more life stolen.

Corinthia up-shifted as she tried to maneuver them over a steep climb. Liara held onto her seat as tightly as she could. "Can't we go around it?"

"The transmission's only two clicks north," Corinthia answered. "We'd have to go thirty out of our way to go around."

"But it'd be a lot smoother…"

"Don't bother," Shepard muttered. "She's not going to listen to anyone right now."

Liara nodded. "I think I'm going to be sick…"

The Mako lurched as it reached the top of the cliff. Corinthia didn't stop. They accelerated right to the edge of the plateau and just dropped off. Liara screamed. Corinthia applied the ship's thrusters just in time to save them from dying in a crash.

Shepard smirked and looked at Corinthia. "That's my girl."

"You _encourage_ her?" Liara gasped.

"You'll start having fun before long," Shepard reassured the asari. "Right, Ci-Ci?"

She wasn't listening. She pointed. "It's the signal. See it blinking?"

Shepard nodded. The distress beacon was sitting in the middle of a flat basin. It screamed "TRAP" like a character in a horror movie. The red earth seemed to glow eerily, lengthening the distance between the signal and the Mako.

"Liara, be ready to make a field at any time," Shepard ordered. "Ci-Ci, scan for hostiles. I'll drive."

They deftly switched places. Corinthia took out her omni-tool and started scanning. "I can't do a thing in this metal heap…"

"Then hook it up to the externals," Shepard suggested, implying that it was obvious.

He expected her to say, "I knew that," but instead she just did as she was told. "Localized seismic activity… Not a good sign."

She didn't have to say the signs for Shepard's stomach to tense. "How many bodies?" he asked, voice determined.

"Fifteen."

"The signal?"

"Processing... Legit, though a little… tweaked. Can't say why, just be ready for—"

The ground shook, cracked, and broke. A thresher maw reared up in front of them, screeching in rage at being disturbed.

Corinthia put down her omni-tool. Her heart almost stopped beating because that worm was the incarnation of one of her worst nightmares. "Shit."

Shepard turned hard and started executing Emergency Contingency Plan GTFO Protocol: Driving in circles. This was Ci-Ci's brilliant idea (who else?). By going in circles, the thresher maw ("beastie thingy") would get dizzy. The monster's physical limitations made it difficult for them to lead shots, so they would be shooting at where the Mako was rather than where it was going to be. The Mako could still escape if it got hit once while Shepard and Liara were holding up biotic fields.

Unfortunately, while he was driving, Shepard couldn't do a thing with biotics. Fighting it would be up to Corinthia and Liara. This was not good, not because of Corinthia, but rather because of the asari.

Corinthia shifted so that she could use the turret. "LIARA! MAN THE ROCKETS!"

"What?" she asked, confused.

"Put the shell in the tube, aim, and press the red button."

"But, I…"

"I thought you checked her out on this shit!" Shepard shouted.

"I - I was," Liara answered. "But the shell... It's too heavy…"

Shepard groaned. "No wonder you got stuck in that goddamn field."

"Oh, this is pointless." Corinthia pushed Liara aside. "Just put a biotic barrier around us and let me handle this."

"I'm not sure—"

"That's an order," Shepard snapped.

Liara gulped and nodded. She'd never done anything like this before. She'd never even worked her biotics on a larger scale than to move something. She held out her hands and made the barrier.

"How odd," Liara murmured. She'd had a bit of formal training and that had been difficult. This, however, was surprisingly easy. Not without strain, but not a true challenge. Yet. "Are you sure we're being attacked?"

"Pretty damn sure," Shepard yelled, jerking the wheel to avoid a ball of acid. "Ci-Ci, where are you on killing that thing?"

"If you shut up and let me aim I can!"

"Then do it!"

"SHUT UP!"

"I think it's going to do something," Liara said uncertainly.

"I know. It's about to melt us in acid."

"And you're calm about that?"

Corinthia ignored Liara. "Almost… there…"

"STOP TALKING AND GET ON WITH IT!" Shepard shouted.

Corinthia took the shot. "And she's off! Two seconds to impact…" The thresher maw's head exploded. "Booh-yah! Take that you beastie-bastard-thingy!"

Shepard slowed down. "Good job, Ci-Ci. Want to go in and investigate?"

She sat down. Whatever glee she'd gotten from the kill was gone and her face was emotionless.

"We know how they died," she answered coldly.

"Yeah, but we still have to confirm." He paused before adding, "There might be more to find this time." He kicked the Mako into gear and slowly drove towards the signal. Corinthia was tense, expecting a thresher to appear at any moment. Thankfully, by the time they reached the charred and mangled remains of the search party, not a single maw reared its ugly head out of the ground.

Shepard stopped, looking out the front window. "Ci-Ci," he said.

"On it." She checked the air seals on her helmet before opening the hatch and jumping outside. Her omni-tool glowed as she ran it over the bodies and then the area.

Liara leaned in, her wide eyes eagerly drinking in the scene. She wasn't morbid, but her curiosity was too powerful to do not look. Though she didn't study the Protheans' deaths, she had to understand it so that she could deduce more about their lives. The carnage before her was like something out of the Commander's vision. She managed to tear her eyes away for long enough to look at him, but his face betrayed nothing. This was not the worst that he had seen, nor was it likely to be the last time something this horrible would cross his path.

But as calm as he seemed — or, at least, emotionless — Liara could feel that such placidity was only on the surface. Although certainly worried about Corinthia, his mind wasn't focused on the mission at hand, but rather on something much darker and far more sinister. Liara didn't know what, but the thought sent chills down her spine.

After a few moments, Shepard climbed out of the Mako to join Corinthia. Neither spoke as they collected the dog tags of the fallen and shut down the distress signal. Shepard briefly put his hand on Corinthia's shoulder.

Liara looked away. Whatever moment they were having, it was theirs and she had no right to intrude. She already knew more than she should have about the Commander and, so far as Liara could tell, the only person that Shepard wanted that close was Corinthia.

Finally, they returned to the Mako. Corinthia took the wheel and they tore off without a backwards glance.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Liara asked after several minutes.

"That's one way of putting it," Corinthia answered.

"I'm sorry. It isn't easy to see comrades fall."

Neither Shepard nor Corinthia replied. The silence was only broken by Joker, radioing for pickup.

* * *

><p><strong>21 May 2183—Cargo Bay, <em>SSV Normandy, <em>orbiting Edolus, Sparta System, Artemis Tau Cluster**

Liara exited the Mako as quickly as she could. She fell to the cold metal ground and practically embraced it, not caring that the entire squad was there watching and snickering. "Oh, thank the goddess!"

Garrus chuckled. "I see you've experienced Ci-Ci's driving. You just need to let go, relax, enjoy yourself..."

"I think not," Liara muttered. "I am not getting into one of those things ever again."

"She's a bit of a maniac when she drives, but she knows what she's doing," Garrus reassured the asari. "At least, I think she does. I've only been with her in a regular transport." He paused for a beat. "Never felt so sick in my life."

Shepard climbed out of the Mako, dragging the transmitter behind him. "Tali, see what you can find, will you?"

"Of course, Commander," the quarian answered. She took the beacon and examined it briefly. "Is there something in particular you want me to look for?"

"Anything out of the ordinary," Shepard answered. "Garrus, see what you can find me on Kahoku. Alenko, the rescue party. Williams, anything on incidents like this in the past. Start with incidents related to Akuze. Report to the comm room in twenty hours with results. Dismissed."

Alenko took a step towards Shepard. "Where's Ci-CI?"

Shepard jerked a thumb to the Mako. "In there, finishing up something on her omni-tool. Whatever it is she looks at."

"Just wanted to check."

"You think I'd be this calm if she was hurt?" Shepard murmured.

"Of course not. She just looked kind shaken when you left."

"With good reason," Shepard answered, heading to his locker. "Don't you have something else to do?"

"Sir," Alenko answered, leaving.

Shepard slowly started removing his armor, staring with his gloves and gauntlets. Edolus had brought back a lot of unwanted memories, both for him and Corinthia. Honestly, he wasn't sure what to do. Corinthia was shaken. She was trying not to let it on, although she was climbing out of the Mako more slowly than she might have after another mission. She had yet to take her helmet, too. Usually it was the first thing to come off, so something had to be wrong for her to keep it on.

After a moment, she joined Shepard. It took her a few tries to open her locker, her hands were shaking so badly. She could stay steady in a fight, but when adrenaline rush left her, her self-control waned quickly.

Uncaring of whoever saw, Shepard put his hand over hers. "Keep it together," he murmured. "This isn't over yet."

She nodded, withdrawing from his grasp so she could remove her helmet. Her eyes were red, like she'd been crying, but whatever tears she'd shed had long since dried. If anything, she looked enraged. Badass, even, with how her scars were standing out.

"Yeah, I know," she answered quietly, carefully setting her helmet in its place and beginning to remove her armor.

With little else to do, Shepard waited for her to finish. He wanted to talk to her or hold her or something. Honestly, he didn't care if it was for her sake or his own because, in that moment, the only thing that seemed important was being near her. Even after Akuze, though he hadn't admitted it, he hadn't wanted to be alone. In fact, he'd almost sought out her company.

"I'll help you run analysis," Shepard offered after a long moment.

Corinthia had her back to him as she fumbled around to get on her casual uniform's shirt. Shepard could see the various scars from one event or another running along her back. Some were so faded that they were probably from the Blitz, others newer from their more recent fights. He had more than his fair share, too — bullet holes, gashes, etc. — but it seemed wrong for her to have any at all.

"Whatever," she replied, rubbing her arms as if she were cold. "I'm not feeling that great, anyway."

"Need to see the Doc?"

She faced him, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. "No."

Shepard blinked in surprise. He hadn't gotten the hint that she wanted to be alone with him, although her being subtle was a very, very rare thing. Barely managing to hide his smirk, he jerked a thumb to the elevator.

Corinthia led the way, feeling Shepard watching her. Well, she _had_ asked for it. Sort of. Not really. She didn't actually know what she wanted or what she was thinking. Edolus had been... weird. Like Akuze, but even creepier because they were the ones finding the bodies, not being lured into the trap. Part of her felt like she could have, and should have, prevented it, but how? Everyone believed Akuze to have been an isolated incident, not a recurring disaster. Since the former was clearly no longer the case, Corinthia felt nothing short of obligated to find out what was really happening. If she could find out. As good of a hacker as she was, she had her limits.

She only snapped out of her thoughts as the door to Shepard's cabin slid shut and he was standing very, very close to her, his hands lightly resting on her waist.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"No," she answered, surprised that she was being so honest. "Are you?"

"No."

Corinthia wasn't sure that she'd ever heard him say that. Without another word, she slipped into his embrace, burying her face in chest and inhaling deeply, as if she were about to start crying (even if her initial goal had been to comfort him... yeah, that wasn't happening). Shepard held her back, trying to figure out if he was supposed to say something or do something else. Since they'd come to terms with the fact that they both wanted to be more than friends, he'd been unsure of how to proceed. Everything about being with her was going to be different, from how he held her to how he kissed her. If he kissed her. The damn woman kept avoiding him or making up an excuse for as to why they shouldn't get close. Shepard didn't give a fuck about the regs, but if she did, he was going to have to.

Then again, they were already flaunting them. She was holding onto him too tightly and he was pressing his lips against her hair. His hands were rubbing along her back in an attempt to provide some kind of comfort. Corinthia was still quaking, but her breathing was slowing and she was beginning to relax. They'd walked out of mortal danger alive, again. Together.

Corinthia swallowed some stupid comment, something about how she was starting to feel better now that he was — well, it was stupid, so she wasn't going to say it. She wasn't even sure what else she was supposed to do, like if they were going to talk about it or just stand there, hugging. Not that she'd mind; he was warm, surprisingly gentle, and holding her like she was the only real thing around them. At least, that's how it felt. Like she really mattered to him. Every so often she doubted that she did, since she was convinced that he didn't really need her, but it was more than obvious that, right then, she was the only thing he wanted or needed.

Shepard pulled away a little, carefully raising her chin so that she was looking at him. Thankfully, her eyes were calm and significantly less red than before. If anything, she was starting to look happy. As their eyes met, her cheeks flushed and she retreated shyly, but not very far. This time, whatever he did, she wasn't going to run away. He could feel her heart as it started to race. Hell, his was, too, as his nerves started to get the best of him. His fingers slid around her neck and tangled into her hair. It was probably a bad moment to kiss her, but he didn't care.

Corinthia swallowed. "John..."

He didn't move away; he wasn't going to let her ruin the moment. Part of him wanted to silence anything she had to say, but at the same time he couldn't do that to her. Besides, her voice wasn't fearful, just... uncertain. Admitting attraction was the first step, but, in her head, if their lips met, they'd have crossed the point of no return.

He almost asked if she was even serious about him, but that meant that she'd talk and the moment would be gone. If there even was a moment. If he stopped thinking about it and just did it—

He took a deep breath, leaning down and putting his lips over hers. She inhaled sharply, as if shocked, but didn't pull away this time. It was certainly the most chaste kiss he'd ever given — hell, his mouth wasn't even open — and he moved away after a brief moment, searching her face for approval or rejection or, as was most likely, total and utter confusion.

Instead, though, he was met with sparkling eyes, an embarrassed blush, a wide grin, and a happy laugh. That was all the invitation he needed. He dragged her against his chest, her feet almost leaving the ground, as he kissed the hell out of her.

If only for a moment, the rest of the galaxy and all its problems didn't exist. There was no Alliance breathing down their necks, no silent threats on the outskirts of the known world. It was just them, happy in each other's arms for however long they could have.

After not long enough, Corinthia pulled away, sucking in air. "Damn it, John..." she whispered, unable to suppress a smile.

Shepard looked nothing short of smug. "Don't complain," he ordered. He lightly pressed his lips against her temple. "You know you liked it."

"Well, yeah, but —"

He silenced her with another kiss, this one far calmer than before. Thankfully, she got the point and didn't try to say anything else. He intertwined his fingers with hers and led her to the bed. Her hesitation was palpable, but when she saw that his intentions were only to give them a place to sit next to each other, she didn't fight.

"Cassie, whatever happened down there... It's not going to happen again," Shepard started. He wanted to tell her about the fears gnawing at his mind, but he wanted to be close to her without a sense of guilt or pity.

Corinthia nodded, shifting nearer to him. "You're not going to let it."

"No, I'm not."

"Don't say that it's because of me."

"It isn't." He took a deep breath, watching their hands for a long moment. "It's hard to explain why, but it isn't about you."

"Good." She smiled weakly. "I was worried for a second that it was. I mean, it's kinda sweet how you go all vengeful for me, but Akuze was... different."

Shepard wasn't sure she understood exactly what he thought, about how losing innocents bothered him, but he couldn't say a word without beginning to vent about the beacon and what he actually saw. He pulled her against his chest, falling back onto the bed. She squeaked a little, but curled up against his side without another word.

"I wanted to do this on Gorrah's ship," Corinthia murmured into his shoulder.

Shepard smirked. "I thought about it, but you were seventeen. Wasn't legal."

She giggled. "You were into me then?"

"Hell no. Damn it, that came out wrong."

"It's fine." She lightly kissed his cheek. "I know what you mean."

Shepard didn't feel much better. Well, the fact was that he had absolutely no desire to talk, about Akuze or Edolus or anything at all. Words were stupid and he had her in his arms, so verbal communication was the last thing on his mind.

Corinthia shyly pressed her lips together. "So... now what?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "You're serious?"

"Well, I mean, it's not exactly like I've made out with my best friend and commanding officer before, so..."

Shepard pulled her against his chest and fell back onto the bed. "What happens is that you stop worrying and sleep next to me. If the Alliance gets wind of it, fuck them. Like I care."

Her heart was still racing, although she had no idea if it was out of nerves or anticipation. "Oh, okay..."

Shepard sighed. "Cassie, did you want to talk?"

"Well, I thought that was the plan..."

"What's there to say? We both know what happened on Edolus and you've already said everything there is to say about Akuze. You're nervous, I get it. But this is me." He touched her cheek. "Why are you scared? You shouldn't be. I don't want you to be."

Corinthia's eyes searched his face for a long moment. "Geez, John. Don't you know how... intimidating you are?"

"Do you know how intimidating _you_ are? I've been trying to get up the courage to do something to show you how I felt for a while now."

Corinthia blushed. "And of course you turn it right back around on me..."

"Damn right I did."

Corinthia took a deep breath. "I'll shut up, but can you just answer... I mean, it's a silly question, but —"

"Just ask, Cassie."

"I'm not like the other girls, am I? I mean, does this mean something? Or am I just another bit of... stress relief?"

Shepard frowned, barely managing to hide his sense of insult that she could even ask a question like that. With difficulty, he swallowed whatever anger he felt. Even if he understood her reasons for asking, she had no business even thinking that she was like the others. Worse, he wasn't sure what it "meant". Was being with her important to him? Damn right it was. She was.

Corinthia realized she touched a nerve a second too late. "Oh, God, John. I can't believe I just said that. Forget it. Please. I was just thinking and I got worried and —"

Shepard leaned over her and put his lips over hers. Not that he minded her rambling in certain situations (or his current method of shutting her up), but he had a point to prove. And she needed the practice, which he was more than happy to oblige and provide.

"No," he ordered firmly. "You know damn well that I've never seen you like that. I'm never going to, either. You mean something. Don't ask me what because I don't know. But it's a big deal for me. To care. About anything... anyone." He shook his head, falling back against his pillow. "Think I wanted to end up here?"

"Yeah," Corinthia answered. "You did kinda grab me and, you know, sweep me off my feet and all that..." She blushed and shyly met his eyes. "Not that I minded, because I didn't, but — Oh, right. I'll be quiet."

He curled an arm around her waist, lazily guiding her to rest against his side. "A lot's happened. Relax."

Although she was clearly intent on relaxing, she was still nervous and remained a little stiff for a few minutes. Then, as she finally came to terms with the fact that Shepard was not drunk (and therefore conscious of what he was doing) and wasn't about to let her go, she found herself burrowing deeper into his embrace.

* * *

><p><strong>22 May 2183 — Shepard's Quarters, <em>SSV Normandy<em> _SR-1_**

The last time Shepard woke up with a woman curled around him, it had been Corinthia and she had freaked out. This time, though, he wasn't hung over and Corinthia had her head nestled on his shoulder. His stomach plunged a little as he realized that he'd been nervous, either that she wouldn't be there when he rose or that she'd ruin it. Well, maybe not ruin; just break the mood with a stupid question or something.

He leaned over and kissed her temple. Not that he wanted to wake her, but part of him was still in shock that the night before had happened at all. Sure, they hadn't done anything beyond kissing, but he'd never _just_ kissed anyone before. There was always something else to go along with it, things that Shepard hadn't wanted to imagine doing with Corinthia because he doubted he could stand keeping his hands off of her for very long. In that moment, he just wanted to be content with what they had. She was next to him, looking calm, although she was mouth-breathing and her scars seemed more obvious than ever...

Not that he cared. It was _her_.

As his fingers intertwined into her hair, she groggily opened an eye. For a second, it looked like she forgot where she was or why their faces were so close, but then she grinned in a half-lazy kind of way, like she didn't want to go anywhere anytime soon.

"Hey," she wheezed. She coughed to clear her throat. "Damned mornings... Can't talk."

Shepard's lips curled into a leer. "Who says we have to?"

Corinthia buried her face into the pillow, trying not to look as mortifiedly embarrassed as she felt. Shepard found himself smirking as he tried to extract her, which really only served as an excuse for him to kiss her again. The damn woman was becoming a distraction. He didn't care, but it was likely to become a problem before long.

_"Commander. Commander! You there?"_

Shepard growled in annoyance, but didn't release Corinthia, even though she had stopped responding and was trying (unsuccessfully, thanks to him) to listen.

"_I know you're in there, Commander,_" Joker continued. "_Everyone's looking for you._"

Corinthia managed to extract herself from Shepard's grasp. "John, maybe we should get back to... whatever."

Shepard shook his head. "Hell no." He ran his fingers through her hair. "About damn time we ended up like this, if you ask me. I'm not cutting it short."

_"Tali says that she found something —"_

"Shut up, Joker," Shepard ordered, pulling Corinthia close to his chest once more. "I'm busy."

"_Ci-Ci wouldn't happen to be there, would she? Liara was looking for her. Something about Cerberus."_

At that word, Shepard knew that whatever moment he'd wanted with Corinthia was gone. He let her go and sat up, fumbling to tuck in his shirt (since he hadn't, exactly, had a chance to take it off the night before). Corinthia was quietly trying to get her boots on before Joker heard her.

"Why's it matter?" Shepard answered, covering for her. "She can go wherever she wants." Even if he was perfectly pleased to have her, he could tell just by how she was moving that she was afraid of regs and what would be said if they were seen as being together. Shepard needed her to get Saren. He couldn't risk getting her reassigned because they weren't being cautious.

_"So she's either hiding somewhere or she's with you," _Joker replied, his smirk ringing through his tone. "_C'mon, Commander. We all saw her leave the cargo hold with you. Look, I'm just sayin', don't be surprised if the crew's waiting outside your door when you come out_."

"Fuck off, Joker," Shepard commanded.

_"Alright, alright! Fucking off, sir."_

Shepard shook his head and looked at Corinthia. "That fucking goddamn pilot..."

Corinthia shrugged, but she looked anything but casual. Her fingers shook as she did up the straps on her boots. She cursed under her breath and ran her fingers through her hair. After observing her for a moment, Shepard came over and took her hands.

"It's gonna be fine," he reassured her. "We'll get the bastards."

Corinthia smiled weakly. "I know, but that doesn't mean — It's _Cerberus_, John. If they've done this, something else, or..." She shook her head. "We have so many more important things to do."

"Fuck 'em," Shepard replied, touching her cheek. "And fuck Cerberus. I've fought them once. I'll do it as many times as it takes. Never again, right?"

She nodded. "Never again..." she repeated.

Shepard leaned forward and kissed her lightly, causing her to grin and giggle. That had been the point, to get her into a good mood again. It was oddly empowering to have so much control over her emotions.

He liked it.


	21. Hunting Cerberus

**_ A/N 9/12/2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, **Author's Explanatory Note: An Update**._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>22 May 2183—Comm Room, <em>SSV Normandy, <em>orbiting Edolus, Sparta System, Artemis Tau Cluster**

Liara and Tali were already in the comm room when Shepard walked in. They both looked up from their murmured conversation as if they had been interrupted.

"Commander..." Liara started, her voice soft and surprised (as usual).

Tali coughed. "We have managed to isolate the distress signal. It was difficult, but I managed—"

"Get to the point," Shepard growled, flopping down into a seat.

"The signal was the same used on Akuze," Liara finished.

"Tell me something I don't know."

Tali toyed with her fingers. "Admiral Kahoku sent a message for you, saying that he traced some kind of signal."

"But it would be impossible for him to do it unless he already knew who was transmitting it," Liara continued.

Shepard thought that the way the girls were finishing each other's sentences was nothing short of creepy, but they weren't the first female pair to do it. "You're point?" he asked.

"Cerberus is responsible," Liara said.

Shepard stiffened. "Say that again?"

"Cerberus is responsible for the attacks," Liara repeated. After a moment, she added, "Is there something wrong, Commander?"

Shepard ran his hand over his head, mind racing. Cerberus. He should have known. Those mother fucking bastards... Corinthia would probably have a seizure if she found out.

"How do you know it's them?" Shepard asked, voice low and dangerous.

"Kahoku said that the facilities were run by Cerberus," Tali replied.

"I verified his information," Liara continued. "They are, indeed, Cerberus facilities and received the data the tower transmitted."

Shepard's fists clenched, nails digging into his palms. "Do you have the locations?"

"Yes," Tali replied.

"Then give them to Joker and get us there."

Liara nodded. "Of course, Commander."

Tali hesitated before asking, "Don't you want to know what else we found?"

"No need," Shepard muttered. "Find Ci-Ci and tell her that I want to see her in here."

The asari and quarian exchanged looks before heading out the door. Almost as soon as they were gone, Williams, Alenko, and Garrus came in.

"Whatever you found, I don't want to hear it," Shepard told them before they could even speak.

Williams frowned. "So I just spent ten hours —"

"I just wanted you out of my way," Shepard coldly replied. "Tali and Liara have already told me everything I need to know."

Garrus crossed his arms. "They told us about Cerberus already. Funny thing. I found out that they'd been threatening Kahoku."

Alenko nodded. "And the rescue party was nothing special, no one that was going to amount to much. It was almost like Kahoku knew what was going to happen."

"Because he'd already identified the past incidents," Williams said derisively. "He figured out that Cerberus was responsible for Akuze."

"And the bastard didn't tell anyone because he thought he could take care of it himself," Garrus observed. "Sounds like a cover-up, if you ask me."

_"Commander, I set a course for Binthu,_" Joker said over the intercom. _"ETA six hours_."

"Good," Shepard answered. He looked between the others. "What are you all standing around for? Get ready for the mission."

"Aye, aye, Commander," Alenko said, saluting and herding Williams out.

Garrus lingered. "Have you told her yet?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I know about Ci-Ci's mother. She told me about it."

Shepard sighed. "She's going to find out before long, anyway."

"Want me to keep an eye on her?"

"I can handle it," Shepard replied.

"Do you think she'll get angry?"

Shepard shook his head. "Not about this. I saw her on Torfan. The only thing she was mad about was me."

Garrus chuckled. "Sounds like her, scolding you."

"Damn right," Shepard muttered. "This, though..."

"Want me to tell her?"

"No. I got it." Shepard spotted her in the doorway. "Alone, if you don't mind."

Garrus nodded and left with a murmured greeting to Corinthia.

She raised an eyebrow. "They all already report? And I missed it?" She grinned. "Nothing good to say, huh?"

"Cerberus is responsible for the attacks," Shepard said, without even waiting for her to realize that he wasn't in a joking mood. "We're heading to Binthu now to take care of the first set of bases."

Corinthia's smile faltered and faded. Her cheeks paled slightly. "Cerberus?" she repeated.

"Surprised?" Shepard asked.

"I... No," she answered quietly after a moment. "No, it makes perfect sense."

Shepard waited for her to start panicking or freaking out, buts he didn't. She just stood there, staring ahead at some spot on the floor in front of him.

"Cassie?" he asked after a long moment.

She opened her mouth like she was going to answer, but instead her expression hardened and she said, "What do we know?"

"Do you think I asked?"

"Point." She clenched and unclenched her fists, as if she couldn't decide if she was going to punch him. After a moment, she sank into one of the seats. "Damn it, Shepard... What the hell? All the way since Akuze?"

"Apparently."

Corinthia leaned back, running her fingers through her hair. "Worst fucking events of my life, both because of them..."

Shepard sat next to her. "What're you going to do about it?"

Her expression hardened, losing any sense of remorse it had held. "Kill them," she said, sounding almost as if she were stating a fact rather than swearing vengeance.

Shepard blinked in surprise. He had never, ever heard her sound cold in her entire life. Now, though, she was beyond cold; she was full of hatred. Real, actual hatred.

"That's what I do," he told her.

She snorted. "I know. I was on Torfan."

"That isn't what I was talking about."

"Oh. You're talking about the Omega Incidents, right? What actually happened? The report was lacking in necessary information." She didn't sound as eagerly curious as normal. In fact, she sounded more like a student given a case study to learn from. Like Shepard was about to become her role model.

He wasn't sure if he liked it.

"It wasn't that complicated. There was a group of Cerberus scientists I had to recover. They were supposed to be linked to the attack on the _Geneva_. Turns out the only connection was that they were Cerberus. The scientists were doing some kind of sick mind-control experiments. I... didn't exactly look into it very hard. I just know that it was fucked up and every last one of those sadistic bastards for what they deserved. You know me well enough to know by now to know how I reacted."

"Yeah, I do," she murmured.

"Then you know that this isn't going to end well for them."

"Good," she replied coldly. There wasn't a drop of emotion in her voice. Everything from her smile, which usually glittered in her eyes regardless of what she was doing, to her stance was completely devoid of warmth or feeling.

When Shepard took her hand in his, she stiffened and removed herself from his grasp.

"No," she said, getting to her feet.

"You alright?" he asked, concern actually coming through in his voice.

"No."

"Is there something I can do?"

"No." Her omni-tool flared to life, panels appearing as she started finding out everything she could about Cerberus. By the looks of things, she had been looking into Cerberus on her own time and had found out more than the Alliance was willing to share. The orange light cast across her face made her look like the soldier Shepard wished she would be. There were moments where he'd glimpsed what she was capable of — Elysium, Akuze, Torfan, and Eden Prime, for example — but it was only out of necessity, not choice.

This next mission was going to be different. She wasn't reacting because she had to survive; she was reacting because she was angry. Shepard had seen her upset before, specifically with him, but never truly _pissed_. That was something he did, not her. He fought for her, taking on every battle like it was personal for him, too. She hadn't cared about revenge on Torfan (although he still didn't understand why she hadn't), so Shepard had done what he would have wanted if it was his dad that had been killed. Or, at least, what Shepard would have done if he had parents to avenge at all. He wanted to know how far she would go, if she was capable of the things that he was, or if she was truly so... pure that even her need for vengeance wouldn't outweigh her compassion. But if he had to, he would finish the job for her.

* * *

><p><strong>23 May 2183—Secret Cerberus Research Facility (North), Binthu, Yangtze System, Voyager Cluster<strong>

Corinthia jerked the Mako to avoid a rocket from a turret. Shepard had to slam his palm into the window to stay upright. "What the hell was that?" he demanded.

She had yet to say a word to him other than "no", having spent the twelve hours before they left for the mission on her omni-tool in the conference room and completely ignoring him. Of course, he hadn't tried to interrupt. The last Cerberus mission had been a fifteen-man team. Every last one had made it out alive, but it had been because of a the five best fighters on that team (Shepard and Alenko included). Considering the difference between the kind of fight this time, they were going to need everyone.

Garrus, Wrex, Tali, Liara, Alenko, and Williams sat in the back, shoulders knocking together uncomfortably as Corinthia maneuvered them through the Cerberus defenses. Her omni-tool was working overtime, its hue turning redder and redder with every algorithm it ran.

"Her omni-tool's about to overheat," Tali murmured to Garrus. "Perhaps I could help..."

Garrus shook his head. "Not right now."

Tali cocked her head to one side. "Why not? Doesn't Shepard need all our help?"

"I'm not sure that's why we all came."

Williams crossed her arms. She wasn't sulking, but she wasn't sure why Shepard was bringing everyone for this mission. It was just a bunch of terrorist thugs. Sure, they deserved to get their asses kicked, but that Shepard could do on his own.

"Alenko, get rid of those turrets," Shepard ordered.

Alenko nodded, climbing over Wrex to get to the weapon.

Liara clutched her stomach. "I think I'm going to be sick..."

Wrex laughed. "Hah! The asari's gonna be spilling her guts all over the place in about two minutes. Don't have the right stomach for it, if you ask me."

"It is less about our stomachs and more that she cannot drive," Liara snapped.

"Get those barriers up!" Shepard shouted, his fists flaring with biotics as he glared at Liara.

"Of course. Forgive me, Commander," she muttered guiltily. Her hands glowed as she, too, added her biotic power to the shields.

Williams gritted her teeth. "So am I just here to be a body?" she asked.

"Something like that," Shepard replied, his attention entirely focused on the approach to the base. "Get ready to get on the ground."

Wrex roared and surged for the hatch. "Bring them on, Shepard. Every last one of them."

"Easy, Wrex. You'll get yourself killed before you even get to the action," Garrus replied, getting to this feet. He used the ceiling to steady himself as the Mako lurched. "Of course, that would leave more for me."

"Watch it, turian. You're no match for the power of a krogan warlord," Wrex growled.

Garrus patted his sniper rifle. "We'll see about that."

"That a challenge?"

Garrus shrugged. "If you think you can keep up."

Wrex's mouth twisted into a wide, toothy, maniacal grin. "I'm gonna leave you in the dust, turian." With that, he wrenched open the hatch and climbed out, Garrus on his tail. The Mako was still moving, but neither cared.

Tali's omni-tool was open and working overtime in an attempt to help Corinthia. "I have control of the turrets," she said victoriously. "Shutting them down now."

Corinthia's driving calmed somewhat and she slowed the Mako to a halt in front of one of the bases. Like most underground facilities, the base was only a series of low, cylindrical buildings arranged in a somewhat circular pattern. Radar towers jutted up from the ground, not to mention the guard turrets. Binthu's surface was composed mostly of sulfur and was therefore barren, but strangely pretty. The large moon, set in a peaceful blue and slightly clouded sky, shone serenely just above the horizon. Corinthia snorted. Why did hellish places always seem peaceful?

Outside, Cerberus soldiers darted into cover from Wrex and Garrus. The krogan was charging the barricades, using his biotics and shotgun to rip bodies apart. Garrus had found himself a sniper's nest and was picking off people one by one.

Williams put on her helmet. "Permission to get into the action, Commander?" she asked.

"Get on it, Williams," Shepard replied.

She climbed out the hatch without another word.

Tali took a deep breath, trying to remember everything Garrus had told her. She jumped when Shepard's hand descended on her shoulder.

"Stay with the Mako. Keep it ready for evac at any point," he said.

Tali nodded, half relieved and half apprehensive of being left alone. "O-of course, Commander. I'll get the repairs done while we're here."

"Alekno will stay back with you," Shepard added. "Ci-Ci, you ready?"

Corinthia was trying to get her omni-tool back into line. It flashed red and shut off. "Damn it," she muttered, punching her forearm. "Thing overheated..."

"How long until it's back?" Shepard asked irately.

She pushed past him, putting on her helmet a second before she exited the Mako. "Not long."

Shepard gritted his teeth and climbed out after her. "Of all the times for you to fuck up your omni-tool..."

Corinthia had her shotgun out, not even listening to him or paying attention to the fight around them. She knelt in front of the facility door, put some omni-gel on the lock, and waited for it to open.

Shepard looked at her curiously. "Resorting to that?" Omni-gel, much like medi-gel, was the panacea of technology. Shepard didn't know or care how it worked, but if you put it on something that was broken, it ended up fixed and it could open almost any lock. Corinthia usually hacked the locks (she thought it was more fun).

Corinthia didn't answer and Shepard couldn't see her expression through her helmet, but he suspected that she was not smiling and was, in fact, more focused than she had ever been. Or, maybe, itching for a fight. That wasn't at all like her, but she had been nothing short of determined from the second she found out that Cerberus was to blame.

Although she was adept at hacking locks, omni-gel ensured that their entrance would be unnoticed. Shepard took out his assault rifle and put a finger to his earpiece. "Garrus, Wrex, Williams: get over here. Now. We're going in. T'Soni, Alenko: Stay with Tali and the Mako."

"Aye, aye, Commander," Alenko answered. "We'll hold things down out here and try and track down the other bases."

"Good call, Alenko," Shepard answered.

Garrus slid into cover next to Corinthia. "You may have to drag Wrex out of the carnage. He's still finding bodies to kill."

Williams joined them, wiping blood off her visor. "And I thought fighting Geth was bad," she muttered.

"At least you got them first," Shepard answered.

Corinthia straightened as the door opened with a hiss.

"Wrex!" Shepard shouted.

The krogan ran up, laughing evilly. "Shepard you sure know how to pick the fights!"

Corinthia held up her omni-tool, which had now returned to its normal orange glow, and their earpieces buzzed as she hacked into Cerberus's communications.

_"What the hell's going on up there?"_

_"Scans show no signs of anything."_

_"But the turrets engaged."_

_"Disengaged a few minutes ago. Must have been a space monkey or something. You never know what kinds of things will show up."_

_"For a second I thought I saw an ATV..."_

_"You're just seeing things. The Illusive Man said — What the hell is that?"_

_"Sounds like gunfire... Oh, sh —"_

The speakers fell dead as Garrus and Williams silently secured the security center. Williams checked the screens. "Looks like we've got about thirty soldiers and ten scientists, tops. They're all holed up in the main and back rooms."

"Have the schematic?" Shepard asked, coming next to her while Wrex guarded the door.

"Just a second," Williams answered. She stiffened as Shepard leaned next to her, but only because he hadn't ever been that close to her before. However, Williams understood that it was only because she was being useful in that moment. _He's an asshole,_ she reminded herself. "Got them," she declared. "Uploading them now."

"Ci-Ci, what's —" When he turned around, she wasn't there. "Where the hell is she?"

Wrex shrugged. "How should I know? She never came in here."

"I've found her," Garrus said. "She's getting close to the main room."

"Fuck," Shepard said, eyes scanning the inhabitants she was about to face. About twenty Cerberus soldiers, plus what looked like eight-foot long cockroaches set inside a barrier. "What the hell are those things?"

Garrus narrowed his eyes. "I could be wrong, but those might be rachni..." The rachni were a sentient insect species, long since believed extinct. They were large, monstrous, and looked like a hybrid of a dragon and a cockroach. The krogan had helped repel an invasion by the insect species, which had uplifted the krogan race before the krogan rebellions, which led to the genophage.

Wrex came over when he heard the word. "Damn right those are rachni. Goddamn bugs... Got my people into the situation they are now, _turian_."

"Don't look at me," Garrus answered. "I wasn't there when they decided to make the genophage."

"Doesn't matter. Your kind is still responsible."

"Whatever they are, they're going to be dead in a few minutes," Shepard said, stepping between Wrex and Garrus before they got into a real fight. "Williams, stay here and keep an eye on things. Wrex, Garrus: Follow —"

"Commander, look at this," Williams said, pointing to the monitor.

The barricade holding back the rachni shut down. The soldiers looked around in confusion before the bugs were on them. The rachni screeched and lunged towards anyone in sight. The chaos was unlike anything Shepard had ever seen. Even the most hardened of soldiers could lose it when facing a monster. Those with enough sense to shoot instead of scream were quickly subdued. However, the rachni weren't strong enough. They barely managed to dispatch seven soldiers before Cerberus reinforcements arrived and killed the rachni.

_"How the FUCK did they get out of there?!"_ one of the scientists demanded, striding towards a computer console. _"The security measures were absolute. Nothing was supposed to have gone wrong. I had reassurances from the Illus— Damn it! Where's security? We've been hacked!"_

Shepard shook his head. If they knew that they were hacked, Corinthia was either being sloppy or wanted them to know that they were under attack.

_"All communications are down," _a Cerberus soldier said. "_Jammed across all frequencies. Just getting some woman saying, 'We're sorry, but all lines are busy'."_

_On purpose,_ Shepard thought. Corinthia was about to get herself into one hell of a lot of trouble. "Wrex, Garrus, let's go."

_"This isn't good. Get everyone into lockdown," _the scientist ordered.

Corinthia had her omni-tool pressed against the main door. Shepard almost scolded her, but she wasn't trying to unlock it. In fact, she was mapping out the locations of every soldier in the room. The screen was planning a course of attack that would allow her to kill them all on her own, connecting every man with a line with some kind of number attached to it.

"You're not going in on your own," Shepard told her sternly.

Corinthia glanced at him, nodding curtly. She pulled her omni-tool away from the door and took out her pistol. "Orders, sir?" she asked.

"Wrex and I go in first. You and Garrus cover us from the door," Shepard replied, secretly thankful that she was going to do as he said. "No survivors."

Garrus raised an eyebrow. "That necessary, Commander?"

"If you want the ethics discussion, we'll do it after," Shepard snapped. "Ci-Ci, get the door."

Corinthia straightened, putting her omni-tool back to the lock. "Step back," she warned. "We'll be exposed for a few seconds."

The lock flashed and the doors slid apart. Corinthia stepped into cover as Shepard and Wrex both charged past her, their biotics surging around them. The scientist looked up in shock right before Shepard snapped his neck. After the chaos from the rachni attack, the soldiers were still slightly panicky. That made them easier to kill. Wrex was laughing and shotgunning men in the gut (not to mention making sure to stomp on rachni heads as he passed them). Garrus had found himself a nice position by the door and was carefully taking out soldier by soldier. Corinthia had ignored orders, charged into the center of the room, and was grappling with a Cerberus soldier.

Shepard's first reaction was to run and help her, but she didn't need it. She broke the man's grip, putting her pistol against his stomach and shooting three times. He crumpled over, groaning in pain. Her omni-tool flared to life as she stepped towards the next man and thrust the hologram into his chest. The orange light crackled with electricity, frying the agent's shields and, from the way he was twitching, his nervous system. Another soldier grabbed her from behind. Although she elbowed him in the stomach several times, the man didn't let go. So, she shot him in the foot and then directly between the eyes as he staggered back in pain. With no other immediate threat, she clinically dispatched her three attackers and moved on to others.

Shepard couldn't decide if her ruthlessness was frightening or sexy.

The fight was over in less than five minutes. Shepard sent Wrex and Garrus into the back rooms to clear them out. Corinthia went to the scientist, scanning his omni-tool for any useful information.

"Damn, Cassie..." Shepard started.

She shook her head. "Just doing my job, Shepard." She was unsmiling. She hadn't enjoyed the fight, oddly enough. Shepard thought she would have relished the chance to get back at Cerberus like this, but instead she seemed stiff and weary.

"_We're all clear, Commander_," Garrus radioed. _"Looks like the scientists were ready to die for the research here. Whatever it was._"

"Mind control," Corinthia murmured. For the first time on the mission, her voice registered emotion: disgust. "Bastards..."

"Do you have everything you need?" Shepard asked.

"Everything I can get, yes," she replied.

"Then we're leaving. Everyone, move out."

* * *

><p><strong>24 May 2183 — Secret Cerberus Research Facility (South), Binthu, Yangtze System, Voyager Cluster<strong>

Shepard cracked his neck. As tough as he was, twelve hours in a Mako and eighteen on mission could get to anyone. But, according to Corinthia and Tali's data, this base was the last one.

Unfortunately, Cerberus now knew that they were under attack. It wasn't that Corinthia had let any facility know what was going on, but rather that they had lost all contact with one another. In general, any outpost knows that a loss of communications means an attack.

Williams, Wrex, and Garrus were waiting by the hatch, ready to jump onto the ground at any moment. Shepard had been too preoccupied on Eden Prime to even recognize just how capable a soldier Williams was. Honestly, she was better than Corinthia. Of course, the two women had completely different skill sets, but Shepard preferred to use brute force; Corinthia simply forced him to be subtle on occasion.

Corinthia stopped on a rise in front of the final station. Her tension was palpable. She had been calm in the first and second base, hardly saying a word and generally following orders. Well, in the second base Shepard hadn't even given her any orders because he hadn't had to; she just met his eyes, nodded, and did what he wanted.

"I've got the turrets," Tali announced.

"Turn them on their own," Shepard ordered.

"On it."

Liara put up her biotic barrier around the Mako while Alenko manned the rocket. Corinthia opened her omni-tool and deftly hacked into their communications in less than ten seconds.

"Got it!" Tali said.

Shepard nodded. "Wrex, Garrus, Williams: You're up."

Garrus opened the hatch and they all climbed out, carefully weaving towards the base. Cerberus personnel were already shouting to try and coordinate a defense, but it wasn't working. Wrex was bowling a hole through their barricades while Williams and Garrus picked up the stragglers.

"_All clear_," Garrus radioed. "_Looks like they knew we were coming, too."_

"Take us in, Ci-Ci," Shepard commanded.

She threw the Mako into gear and tore towards the base, skidding to a stop in front of the door. Tali nervously rubbed her hands together.

"Am I staying here again?" she asked.

Shepard shrugged. "Whatever. Not like there's anyone left to try and steal the Mako."

Corinthia took a few deep breaths, hands still clutching the wheel.

"Ci-Ci?" Shepard asked softly.

She shook her head, as if snapping out of a reverie, and quickly exited the transport. Shepard frowned. He didn't like this new version of her. She had been non-communicative and withdrawn. She hadn't even batted an eyelash when he executed a surrendering scientist. That wasn't like her. At all.

Shepard followed. Then was not the time or place for a confrontation, but he was getting worried. It was _his_ job to be inaccessible.

Corinthia went to the door, her omni-tool whirring as it opened the lock and showed the schematic of the bunker. It was similar to the others, but larger and set up like a main base. From her readings, there were at least fifty Cerberus soldiers inside. Shepard was still wondering how her omni-tool could see through walls when the door hissed open and she darted inside. He followed, barely making it in before the door slammed shut, leaving just the two of them alone.

"Are you insane?!" he demanded, grabbing her arm. "We'll need the others."

She shook her head. "We'll be fine."

"Past precedent is not on your side for this one."

"But it is on yours." She took out her pistol and showed him a map on her omni-tool. "There's a bottleneck right here. There's also that same barricaded area holding some kind of test subjects. Open that, start a panic, wait until they take out that enemy, strike during the recovery."

"I'm good, but I've got my limits," he hissed. "Get back to the Mako."

"No." She straightened. "I'm finishing this." She sounded emotionless, but Shepard couldn't know what she was thinking without seeing her face. "There are plenty of things I can override and make explode in there. I've got to get in for their data, anyway. Something about all of this isn't right."

"No kidding," Shepard muttered, drawing his assault rifle.

"_You two alright?"_ Garrus asked. "_We can't get in the door_."

Shepard glanced at Corinthia before replying, "Just part of the plan, Vakarian. Keep an eye on things outside."

"_Understood. Garrus out_."

"I'd better not regret this," Shepard warned Corinthia as the advanced into the base.

She held up a hand, indicating that he should be silent. He wasn't particularly happy about her taking the lead, but he was walking blind and she was not. If anything went wrong, he'd jump in. And make her open the door so they could have some goddamn backup.

Corinthia headed directly towards the control center. When a Cerberus soldier stepped in front of her, she silently put her omni-tool against his throat and shocked him into unconsciousness. Shepard finished the job by snapping the man's neck. By the time he caught up with her, she was already in the control center with full access to the system and three dead Cerberus soldiers on the ground. By the looks of things, they hadn't even put up a fight.

Shepard raised an eyebrow, surveying the scene. Corinthia had put her helmet on the desk and was wearily running her fingers through her hair. Still, she looked determined. And as dangerous as a cornered wolf.

"What's the situation?" he asked.

She pointed to one of the screens. "Dead body and a whole bunch of husks."

"No rachni?"

"Not in this facility." She pressed a few buttons and the barrier holding the husks back fell. As she predicted, the soldiers and scientists panicked and started shooting at anything that moved. Eventually, the husks groaned mournfully and fell limp to the ground.

_"What's going on?! Why won't the doors open?"_

Corinthia had locked down the areas. She put her helmet back on. "I'm about to vent the place," she quietly warned Shepard.

He checked his armor seals. "You serious?"

She nodded, her omni-tool flashing as she opened the ducts. Her fists clenched as she watched everyone inside suffocate.

Shepard couldn't believe what he was seeing. It wasn't that he wasn't cold enough to let someone suffocate, but rather that Corinthia would. It wasn't like her. She found out someone was having a bad day and gave them a hug. If things like this were going to happen, he was going to bear the weight of the responsibility, not her.

"This isn't right," Shepard murmured.

"Morality from you?" she answered, surprised. "Hah, don't make me laugh."

Shepard frowned. "What was that?" Of course, she hadn't given him time to finish his sentence and she was the only person in the galaxy who could make him truly defensive.

"The Butcher of Torfan telling _me_ I've gone too far? You're the one that sent men to their deaths because you didn't bother to plan out the attack. I just wiped out this entire facility without firing ten shots."

Shepard gritted his teeth. "That isn't what I meant. This isn't how you deal with things."

"It —"

"I mean _you_, Ci-Ci. I would. Some Cerberus freak would. But not you. You're better than that. I'm not, but you are. You're too... Fuck, I don't know what the word is. They all just fucking stupid when I say them, anyway."

Corinthia's expression softened slightly. She closed the vents with a weary sigh, pulling off her helmet and resting it on the control console. She left her hands on the shell, as if held there by some kind of force. For the first time since she had found out about Cerberus, she was registering emotion: remorse. Even if she couldn't feel a thing, Shepard covered her hand with his. There had always been too much between them, from their armor to regs to his personality and past. It shouldn't have taken tragedy to bring them together like this, but it did.

"Are they dead?" she whispered.

Shepard's eyes flicked to the screen. "Doesn't matter. I'll finish it."

"No, this was my —"

"I'll finish it," he repeated, this time in earnest.

She put her other hand over his, squeezing (not that he felt it through the armor). "You don't have to."

He pulled away, but only to take off his helmet. "Yes, I do." His fingers stroked against her cheek. For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her, but he smirked and stepped towards the door. "Like you said, I'm the Butcher."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" he answered. "It's the truth."

"No, it isn't," she murmured, but he was already gone.

Shepard replaced his helmet. Even if everyone in the other room was only a body, he wasn't going to risk getting shot in the head, especially after what happened to Corinthia. Good thing he put his head protection back on, too, because he slammed right into the door to the main area.

"Ci-Ci!" he shouted. "The doors are still locked!"

The panel flashed and changed color after a second. "_Sorry, Shep. Forgot,_" Corinthia radioed.

Shepard rolled his eyes. She was starting to sound more like herself, now, when she called him "Shep". It had been a long mission and they were both exhausted, her probably more so than anyone else. She rarely had to deal with emotions, let alone ones that weren't related to Shepard in one way or another.

Shepard stepped into the main research area. There were bodies everywhere in various states of agony. A few were still groaning, but he deftly killed them instead of letting them lie.

"_The one at the center... Looks Alliance,"_ Corinthia said.

Shepard could hear her apprehension and he felt it, too. From the bars on the uniform's shoulders, the Alliance officer before them was an admiral.

"Kahoku," Shepard said.

The Admiral was not in good shape. He had been badly beaten. His uniform's arms were torn and painfully rolled up past the elbows. There were track marks all along the Admiral's arms and, from the expression on his face, he did not die quickly.

Shepard didn't regret Corinthia's actions anymore. "Joker, get ready for pickup. Inform the Alliance that Admiral Kahoku is dead."

_"Got it, Commander. ETA thirty minutes,_" Joker answered.

_"Got a couple left alive in the back, Shepard,_" Corinthia informed him.

Shepard checked his pistol. "I'll take care of it." As he headed in that direction, he relaxed, because that was how it was supposed to be: him taking care of things for her.


	22. Nepheron

**_A/N 2012: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, **Author's Explanatory Note: An Update**._

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>24 May 2183 —Medical Lab, <em>SSV Normandy SR-1, <em>orbiting Binthu, Yangtze System, Voyager Cluster**

Corinthia was glued to her monitor, eyes glazed over as she went over the Cerberus data. While the others were getting some well-earned rest, she was determined to find out why Cerberus even wanted rachni and husks. Except the latter weren't the same things from Eden Prime. They were something else... organic, not synthetic.

Worse, all of the research seemed hell-bent on controlling minds. Cerberus seemed to think the rachni pliable, but the data proved the insects far more intelligent than expected. And the husks — what they were calling Creepers — were completely mindless, but were supposed to be controlled by something called a Thorian.

Corinthia rubbed her eyes. She had never liked the organization, but it seemed like they were moving in the direction of controlling humans, turians, asari... all the major sentient species. Well, the rachni had been a major species before the krogan helped annihilate them, but the rachni were also supposed to be extinct. So were the geth.

From what she had gathered thus far, Cerberus hadn't worked on the geth. That took them out of the running for being in league with Saren, at least for the immediate future. Then again, Saren was threatening Humanity and Cerberus was the most notorious pro-human group in the galaxy. There were a few other gangs who were known and had committed a few hate crimes in the last few years, but no one compared to Cerberus for cruelty, malice, and funding.

The trick was _finding_ Cerberus. So little was known about them, to the point that their leader was simply known as the Illusive Man and even the most informed of people couldn't pinpoint the number of members within Cerberus. Corinthia didn't think it worth going to the Shadow Broker for information like that, especially since the Broker didn't charge someone like her — an officer in the Alliance Navy with connections to very powerful and informed people — money for the information he gave. Corinthia would be charged access to the highest possible military secrets. Then again, the Shadow Broker could probably get his hands on them if he wanted to with or without her help, but maybe at a higher cost.

Worse, the Shadow Broker might ask for Shepard. Whether he knew it or not, Shepard had influence in the galaxy. He had been well-known from the Blitz, Akuze, and Torfan, but becoming a Spectre had made him almost a household name. He didn't watch the vids, so he had no idea just how often he was in them. He already had three fan websites, all of which included girls ranging from the ages of twelve to seventy raving about how sexy/amazing/epic/badass/et cetera he was. Admittedly, Corinthia had been tempted to join one at one point, but she had the real man to herself. Unfortunately for the rest of the galaxy, she didn't want to share and, unfortunately for her, her job required that she had to.

He was careful, though. So far, Corinthia was the only one he had trusted with the truth about his past. She would never, ever breathe a word of any of it to anyone. She had managed to keep stories about their relationship in check, which would be all the more important now that they were... well, whatever they were. Together? Calling him her boyfriend just didn't sound, or feel, right. It was more than that. Deeper, on some level, even if all they had done was kiss.

Regardless, Shepard had influence and he wasn't, frankly, the best of men. Corinthia still shivered at the memory of him on Torfan. Her stomach twinged with guilt, too, as she remembered calling him the Butcher. She'd never done that before and the accusation resounded too heavily for her comfort. Even if she didn't intentionally use the power, she knew that she had the ability to hurt him on a level deeper than the physical. Whether it was emotional or spiritual (questionable on the latter, since the words "Shepard" and "soulless" were commonly thought to be synonymous), she didn't know, but she'd seen the hurt in his eyes. In fact, in her eyes, he finished off the Cerberus soldiers and scientists as an apology.

No, no. That wasn't right. He had nothing to apologize for. All he'd done was tell her that she was acting out of character. Sure, he'd never seen her truly angry before... Well, she'd never _been_ angry before, not really. Just upset. With Shepard, mostly. _He_ knew how to deal with anger very, very, very well, since he was almost always angry at something, anyway.

Her omni-tool beeped. Corinthia had forgotten that she'd been letting it run a program to find other Cerberus projects. Their security was top-notch and her hacking program failed, except for a single hit on some planet called Nepheron one system over. She relayed the coordinates to Shepard (who was sleeping), Pressley (who was still on duty as the XO, poor man), and Joker (who would, in all likelihood, just send a message back saying, "Yeah, so?"). Maybe they could end this Cerberus madness sooner rather than later.

She cracked her knuckles. She really should have slept before starting any attempts to get into Cerberus's mainframe, but there wasn't time for it, not really. Cerberus's research had to be stopped and, from what Corinthia could tell, she was only scratching the surface of what they were up to. They didn't have time to go hunting down terrorists, as they were hunting Saren, but the moment they caught the turian, Corinthia was going to get herself a nice little group of people — meaning, she was going to respectfully request the _Normandy_ and her crew — to finish off Cerberus.

As she put her fingers to the holo-keyboard, she hesitated. After Saren... That was farther in the future than she generally thought, but there was also more to her life, now, than the Alliance. There was Shepard. Yeah, it was probably a dumb idea to start thinking about their lives together when they'd only been together a couple days. No, three. Now it was three days.

Corinthia dismissed the thoughts from her mind. Shepard wouldn't have liked her daydreaming, anyway, especially about something so trivial. Oddly, though, it was comfort enough for Corinthia to know that she had him — really had him — for whenever something went wrong.

Someone knocked on her door.

"Oi," she answered, not looking over. However, she minimized the screen showing all of the Alliance's intel on Cerberus, none of which she was supposed to have access to.

Of all people, Garrus stepped inside. "How you doing, kid?"

Corinthia shrugged and spun around in her chair. "Meh. I'm alive, aren't I?"

"Shepard said you weren't taking it well."

"He says — Wait, he talked to you?!"

Garrus chuckled. "You're not his only friend, Ci-Ci."

"Apparently..." She absently ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't know, Garrus... You know the kinds of thugs Cerberus are. What else was I supposed to do?"

"We all have one thing we want to see destroyed," Garrus murmured.

Corinthia nodded. "Yeah, I guess so." She hadn't been involved in the incident, but Garrus had been hunting down a rather sadistic salarian calling himself Dr. Heart, who had escaped the Citadel, to Garrus's chagrin. Garrus had never really forgiven himself for it, either.

"Shepard wouldn't say what happened in the last base, other than that it was his responsibility."

Corinthia groaned. "Seriously? You want the mission report?"

"Must've ended badly for them if even he wouldn't explain," Garrus answered innocently.

"It's not that." Corinthia's stomach twinged with guilt. Now that someone was asking what had happened, she was almost ashamed to say. No, wait, no. She wasn't guilty. Her expression hardened into an emotionless shell once more. "I vented the rooms. No survivors."

"What about the Admiral?"

"Already dead."

"Damn, Ci-Ci..." Garrus wasn't sure what else to say. She wasn't cold like that. At all. She was one of the most caring people he knew. "I didn't expect you to be capable of dealing with anyone like that."

"What? Am I too nice or something?"

"Yes, something like that," Garrus replied. "You're not like Shepard."

"No, I'm not." Honestly, she didn't think the comparison was an accurate one, either. She turned back to her screen. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get into Cerberus's mainframe and destroy them from the inside."

Garrus nodded. "That sounds more like your style of revenge."

"Who ever said that this was revenge?"

"You're expression. I've seen that look plenty of times."

"Garrus..."

"I never said it was a problem. It's nice to know that you can act as dangerous as you really are. Then again, you may only be dangerous because of that innocent grin of yours, but what would I know about that? I can't grin. Damned side effect of being a turian."

Corinthia laughed. "Aw, Garrus, you know you can smile. It's all in your eyes, when you get someone's forehead in your rights and get that perfect headshot... THAT'S when the grin comes out. And a corny line about getting the shot."

"Point."

"'RIGHT IN THE NOGGIN'!'"

"I do NOT say that."

"No, you don't. But it'd be funny if you did."

Garrus shook his head. "You need to sleep."

"Later. I have this to finish."

"Want me to get Shepard in here?"

"Eh, don't wake him up."

"He's not asleep. So, go to sleep or else I'll get him to make you."

"He wouldn't mind at all."

"He w — Why wouldn't he?"

Corinthia blushed, shutting off her console and scrambling to her feet. "Uhm, nevermind. I'll just go bunk up. Yeah, that."

Garrus watched her curiously as she passed. Maybe they all needed some rest.

* * *

><p><em>Agony. Brutality. Horror. Hopelessness.<em>

_Their arms reached for him, begging to take him into their embrace. For the first time in his life, he wanted to run and hide, but there was nowhere to go. There was only him, standing alone against the monsters as they destroyed the lush utopian world._

_All around him, creatures screamed for mercy in foreign tongues, but he understood every word. Frozen, he couldn't help them. He couldn't put his fingers on the trigger of his gun, let his biotics flare to life. He couldn't speak and radio for the _Normandy_ to rain fire down on the monstrous things before him. His squad lay dead at his feet, all dead by different gruesome means._

_He was alone: the last barrier between the aggressors and the rest of the galaxy... the galaxy's last and only hope._

Shepard sat bolt upright in bed. God _damn_ those nightmares... After two weeks of peace — after joining minds with T'Soni — he'd hoped that they'd be gone, but they weren't. He sucked in air, attempting to calm down, but it wasn't working. He needed Corinthia.

Ignoring his shirt, he walked barefoot out into the mess hall. He glanced at the the sleeping pods to see if she was there and started when he saw that she was. For some reason, he'd expected her to be awake and working on the Cerberus assignment. After glancing around for snoopers (of which there were none), he used the control panel to open the pod.

Corinthia's eyes fluttered open and she yawned. "Shepard?" she asked, confused. "Uh, where's your shirt?"

He grabbed her hand and led her back to his quarters. She swallowed hard. "J-John? What's going on?"

Only then did he realize just what he may have been suggesting to her, but he waited to speak until the door had shut and locked behind them.

"That fucking vision," he started, voice choking in his throat.

Any apprehension in her expression vanished. "Oh, right," she replied, moving closer to him. Her fingers brushed his cheek. "What do you need?" she asked quietly.

"You," he answered, gripping her waist. "However you'll let me."

Corinthia smiled. "Who'd have known that you were considerate?"

"I don't think you're ready to sleep with me."

She blushed. "Point... I mean, I kinda did."

"No 'kinda', Cassie. I didn't even _start_." Shepard pulled her against him, attempting to take some comfort in her proximity. Whenever he blinked, the beacon's images appeared. Seeing Corinthia so near to him lessened the pain, but only barely. All it did was turn a premonition into a nightmare.

"Oh, right." Corinthia looked away, embarrassed. She hated not knowing what to do with him. Although he'd reassured her that he would have no issues holding her hand through the process of the physicalities of their relationship, she still wished she, at least, had _some _idea of what he was talking about. Maybe some research would be in order... She took a deep breath before putting her hands on his chest. "I... I don't know what you need..."

"Damn it, Cassie..." Shepard groaned.

Corinthina stomped a foot in frustration. "It's not like I've had a boyfriend before! And it's not like you're gonna go crying into my shirt."

If he wasn't still shaken by the vision, Shepard might have smirked and taken the comment as an invitation to cuddle against her breasts. But he was still distressed. Not enough to refuse such comfort if she offered it, but enough to not be suggestive or romantic.

Corinthia's expression softened. "Do you want to talk about the dream?"

"What else is there to say?" Shepard quietly replied. Although, as he spoke, he realized that she hadn't been part of the vision. Not this time. Maybe his fear of losing her had diminished or his fear of being the last resort had taken precedent.

"I don't know," Corinthia answered. "But it bothers you, doesn't it? And you don't get shaken easily. I've never seen you this bad..." She wilted. "I just feel... useless, that's all. You know? Like I don't know what I can do."

Shepard took a deep breath. "As soon as we're done on Nepheron, we go after Saren. That's the only thing we do. Any other missions are secondary or we're just going to ignore. You said that he wanted this vision." He gripped her tightly. "I'm going to rip him limb by limb if I have to. He's going to tell me what he's after. I bet Wrex knows some good ways to take apart a turian."

Corinthia shivered. She hated it whenever Shepard sounded murderous, even if she understood why. "I-If you say so..."

Shepard met her eyes. "You don't like the plan."

"I don't like it when you talk like that, but... It's nothing against the plan, John. I - I just worry about you, that's all. When you're all vengeful and stuff. I know why you are, but I keep thinking... It's stupid. Forget I said anything."

"No," Shepard answered firmly. "You're going to finish your thought."

"What's gonna happen when there isn't anything left to fight?"

Shepard shrugged. "How the hell should I know? Do you _really_ think that day will come? Because I don't."

"I hope it does." Corinthia wasn't about to tell him how she was starting to get tired of the Alliance, of the fighting, of everything. In reality, she just wanted to sit in her home — wherever that ended up being — and spend the rest of her life doing something with computers. Or work with salarians again. She missed them, honestly. That life, though, meant less Shepard. Maybe even no Shepard. THAT she didn't know if she could handle.

Besides, she was already trying her damnedest not to mention her fantasies about their lives together. If they had a life together. Marriage, kids, whatever. She was already unsure enough about how things were supposed to progress, really, or even what their relationship status was. Not that it mattered; frankly, it was better that they didn't set any definitions in case the Alliance came snooping.

Shepard sighed. "I've only got one theory about why Saren would want that vision: it's about the end of it. When those ships come... The ones that unleash the monsters onto the world. It wasn't the geth that were attacking; it was something else, something worse. That's what Saren's after. He wants that power."

At the back of Shepard's mind, Shepard wondered if Saren was trying to _stop_ those monsters. Its was the only thing that Shepard could think of doing. He didn't love the galaxy or the species or even his own species, but he wasn't going to sit by while everything was destroyed. He had never been they type to run from any challenge. In fact, he rose to them, especially if they were worthy.

Shepard had read Saren's file. The two of them were alike in may ways, from how they executed their missions to their morals. Saren was a war hero. People like that didn't turn traitor without a damned good reason. The beacon's vision, if the Council had ignored the evidence, was a damned good reason. Then again, Saren had never been the type to approach his superiors with his plans. He just did things. Even now, Shepard did not have that freedom. Anderson required almost constant update, which Pressley or Corinthia provided, and the Council was intent on talking to him whenever they heard he had just finished a mission.

"Why?" Corinthia asked, frowning as she thought things through. "What could he need that amount of power for?"

"Ask a madman why he mutters," Shepard answered.

Corinthia rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay, I get it: we don't know. It just doesn't make sense to me, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. That's why I want to talk to him."

Corinthia pressed her lips together. "You aren't going to join him, are you?" she asked quietly. "If he's... you know, not crazy."

Shepard took her face in his hands. "That bastard tried to take you away from me, Cassie." His fingertips slid over to the scar on her temple. "You think I'd let that mother fucker draw breath without doing to him what he did to you?"

She blushed. "And if he hadn't... Would we be here?" she asked quietly.

Shepard frowned. The fact was that it was likely they wouldn't have been, at least in that exact moment. He had no idea how long it would have taken them to get together otherwise, but it didn't matter; Saren had tried to kill her and forced Shepard to recognize his feelings.

"Does it matter?" he asked quietly. "We're here. You want this. If you actually want to take this back, you're doing a very bad job of proving it to me." He smirked, his expression reminding her just how eager she was for his touch. Of course, she was nestled against him as closely as she could, a latent smile resting on her lips.

"Uh... Yeah, no. No way in hell I'm taking it back," she said, grinning.

"Good. So stop being so damn insecure and come to bed."

"I take it you're feeling better."

He headed towards the bed, feeling slightly disappointed that she wasn't immediately following. "Enough to sleep, I think... If you stay."

She darted past him and jumped onto the bed. She bounced on the thin mattress and off onto the floor. Shepard dashed to her side. "You alright?" he asked, unable to hide neither his concern nor his amusement at her clumsiness.

She laughed and got to her feet. "Yep! Just fine. Might get a bruise, but, eh, I'll manage."

Shepard swallowed a lewd comment about examining her for damage. "_Sit_ on the bed, this time," he ordered, crawling under the covers. After a second of embarrassment, she joined him. He immediately rolled into her arms, nuzzling her neck.

She blinked in surprise. "So you're not alright," she observed.

"Avoiding another nightmare," he answered, putting a gently kiss on her throat. It took most of his self-control to stop there, but he did. "And you're here to comfort me, remember?"

She idly stroked his shoulder, her eyes drifting closed. "I know..." she murmured. Even if she was conscious of Shepard's presence and couldn't get her heart rate under control, she didn't want to be anywhere else in the galaxy at that moment. It didn't even matter what else was out there, trying to destroy the galaxy or whatever it was people like Saren and Cerberus did; she had Shepard all to herself.

* * *

><p><strong>25 May 2183 —Comm Room, <em>SSV Normandy SR-1, <em>en route to Nepheron, Columbia System, Voyager Cluster**

Shepard stared at the screen. Why was it that ever damned secret base had to be in the middle of nowhere? Well, it wouldn't be secret, then, but it was a fucking nuisance to hunt them down...

Corinthia was still sleeping. She needed to, too. Between the mission and everything else that had happened in the last few days, she needed to _really _rest. She'd ended curled up in his arms when he woke, clinging to him like he was the only thing able to comfort her. Leaving without waking her had been difficult, especially since he'd just wanted to laze about, but there were things to do. He had to finish off Cerberus, get a jump on Saren, and end the whole damned ordeal.

Cerberus... He still wasn't sure if he was supposed to say something or nothing about her behavior. He would've killed everyone a bit more brutally, certainly, but it gave him chills to think of how coldly she'd dealt with the situation. Unfortunately, he didn't know if they were chills of arousal, fear, or both. Both, probably.

Besides, she had been acting like herself the night before. Whatever had happened on Binthu... It wasn't past, but it wasn't at the forefront. It was a flash of her darker side, but that shadow did not outweigh the light within her. He was glad she could snap back to being the woman he had come to care about. Not that he wouldn't or didn't when she acted differently, but it had just been strange.

He wasn't going to bring it up if she didn't. If she did, it would probably be in some flood of remorse and self-pity over what had happened. He'd gladly hold her through it and tell her whatever she needed to hear. Yeah, he knew she was strong, but he wanted to be able to protect her. Help her.

Garrus came up next to him. "Your move, Commander?"

"Clean house," Shepard answered. "Get rid of them while we're ahead."

"Sounds like my kind of plan," Garrus murmured. "You going to tell her?"

"She needs some rest. We're still twenty hours out."

Garrus glanced around for eavesdroppers. "She thinks the crew doesn't know."

Shepard glared at Garrus. "And who, exactly, does know?"

"Alenko and myself, for starters. The others will figure it out before long. Turian ships allow fraternization so long as it doesn't get in the way."

"What's your point, Garrus?"

"We're going out of our way."

Shepard tapped his fingers against his arms. "That all depends on how you look at it."

"So what are you telling the Alliance?"

"I'm taking every possible route as I hunt down Saren," Shepard replied, smirking. "And if I get to fuck Cerberus along the way, all the better for me."

"And Ci-Ci."

Shepard hesitated. "Yeah, for Ci-Ci."

"You're doing this for her, aren't you?"

Shepard gritted his teeth. "What's it matter?"

"I understand revenge, Shepard. Believe me, I do, but —"

"What's a few days?" Shepard retorted. "I need my crew focused. Every last one of them. If I have to stop on every planet for some damned missions, I'll do it. Saren isn't going to get very far, not with me hunting him. Not when I'm at my best. He's just as lost as I am in this, looking for some fucking trace of Prothean culture. I bet he's got to do all kinds of stuff to keep the geth in line. I bet we can't be the only ones fighting him."

"Cerberus is pro-human. What if they were?"

"Then they'd damn well better stop standing on my way and get on my side." Shepard pointed to the readout of Nepheron. "And we're already in the area, so why not deal with it now before it's a problem? Besides, did you even see what Cerberus is up to?"

Garrus shook his head. "No."

"Mind control experiments on every species... Humans included." Shepard met Garrus's gaze. "I'm not a xenophobe, but that doesn't mean I care about every species equally. It's a lot easier to hear about the batarians slaughtering salarians than it is to hear about them slaughtering humans."

"So it's worse when it's your own species, huh?" Garrus asked.

"Don't tell me you don't agree," Shepard replied.

"Not sure, Shepard. I've seen some pretty nasty things in my day, done by every kind of species. Even hanar, the jellyfish. But, yeah, I guess you're right: It is worse when it's your own kind."

"Do you get why I have to finish this now, then?"

"Oh, believe me, I get it," Garrus answered, crossing his arms. "I just wanted to make sure this wasn't just about the girl."

"Why do you even care if it's about her?" Shepard demanded. "What's between us is between us. That's where it ends."

Garrus shrugged. "Someone's going to have to cover your asses when the time comes. I figure I should get my story straight before then."

"You'd damn well better," Shepard replied. Somewhere, he was grateful that Garrus would be willing to do that, but then again any member of the crew had to do it. Who'd risk the wrath of Shepard?

"Well, if you have any specifics you thought of, let me know. I'll adjust."

Shepard snorted. It sounded like something Corinthia would say.

"Whatever. Just get ready for the next mission."

"Are you taking everyone this time?"

Shepard shook his head. "Just you and Alenko. Ci-Ci... Shit, I'll need her along, too, won't I?"

Garrus shrugged. "How about you go with her and Wrex. I'll hold down the fort up here."

"Joker won't like that."

"The ship's half-turian, anyway. He'll get used to it. I've just got one of those charming dispositions. Females just have this soft spot for me, and since Joker is one... I almost feel bad for the guy."

"Almost."

_"Hey, Commander, I've got Captain Anderson for you,_" Joker radioed.

Shepard frowned. "What the hell does he want?"

"_Wouldn't say. The guy just sounds annoyed._"

"Put him through."

Garrus started towards the door. "I think it's best if I'm not here."

Shepard nodded. "Just get ready to go out there. Tell Wrex, Alenko, and Ci-Ci the same."

"Of course, Commander." Garrus left.

Anderson's hologram appeared in front of Shepard. _"What's the report?"_

Shepard saluted before crossing his arms. "What report?"

_"On Saren. On the geth. I've given you leads."_

Shepard rubbed his eyes. "I got the doctor. She might be useful."

_"Your last report said as much._"

"That was two weeks ago. You can't expect —"

_"Time is of the essence here, Shepard. Now, I know I didn't make a mistake in nominating you for Spectre._"

"You didn't, sir," Shepard growled, fist clenching. "This mission was necessary. Cerberus murdered an admiral. Did you expect me to leave that unresolved? I don't think so."

Anderson thought for a long moment. _"I understand, Shepard. I just don't want you to forget why you're out there."_

"I can't, sir. Saren hurt Ci-Ci. Betrayed his own kind when he killed Nihlus. I'm starting to get an idea of what he's after." Shepard's eyes narrowed. "I'm not going to let him get it."

_"What is he after?"_ Anderson asked.

"I'll tell you when I know for sure. Anything else, sir?"

_"No. Glad to hear you're making progress, Shepard. Don't let me down._"

"Yes, sir." Shepard ended the transmission. He didn't like being watched or checked up on like that, but he understood where Anderson was coming from. Saren _was_ the priority; Shepard just didn't care at the moment.

* * *

><p><strong>26 May 2183 —Nepheron, Columbia System, Voyager Cluster<strong>

Shepard really, really, really hated it when Corinthia's omni-tool was out. Not only did it give him this bad feeling that she was doing things she wasn't supposed to, but the glow also distracted him. Well, she did. The light cast certain shadows on her body that made him stare at places he shouldn't. Well, since she was his now, he could, but not while on duty.

"Looks like a pretty basic setup," Corinthia started, voice all business. "Should be a quick in and out, depending on how long it takes me to hack into their systems."

Garrus checked his sniper rifle one last time. "We've got you covered, Ci-Ci," the turian assured her. "I doubt Shepard's going to let anyone live, anyway."

"I won't, either," Corinthia answered coldly.

Shepard met Corinthia's eyes. He couldn't read her expression, not with how her omni-tool was reflecting against her irises. As if attempted to assure him that she was still herself, she offered him a faint smile. Frankly, a stupid grin would have been better. They hadn't exactly spoken since Binthu and he was worried. Well, that and he wanted to have her in his quarters for a few hours so they could... bond. Physically. Get her over her squeamishness and used to his hands on her. That kind of thing. Or, at least, he assumed that was how she'd be — nervous, giggly, uncertain, and generally insecure about being with him or what to do.

He checked his thoughts before they wandered too far. When every last Cerberus bastard was dead, then they could celebrate in his quarters.

As things stood, Cerberus had proved no challenge, not really. The 'soldiers', if you could even call them that, were poorly trained — little better than hired guns. Shepard had yet to have a challenging mission against the terrorists.

Then again, terrorists weren't supposed to be a challenge. They were supposed to be nothing short of insane, led by some fucking fanatic who'd kill every last member of his group before giving himself up, and even then they only _might_ die for their cause.

Shepard may have sent soldiers to their deaths, but — No, there was no but. Shepard was a survivor; he always had been. Getting him to die for anything would be... difficult. He had to care and, so far, that word only applied to Corinthia. His eyes flicked to Garrus. The turian was coming dangerously close to being his friend. So was Alenko, now that Shepard thought about it. Those two knew more about Shepard than anyone except Corinthia and Shepard was starting to actually trust them.

This was not good. Friends were weaknesses. Then again, Alenko and Garrus could more than take care of themselves. Alenko may have been a little awkward, but he was a talented biotic and had good battle instincts. Garrus's sense of honor was just about the only thing keeping him from being as ruthless in battle as Shepard. Now, though, Corinthia was headed down the same path, finally becoming the soldier she was supposed to be.

The base came into sight over the horizon. The orange sky clashed against the grey-blue earth of the planet. The rounded entrances to the underground lair stood silhouetted against the setting sun.

Alenko slowed the Mako to a near halt. "Orders, Commander?"

Shepard glanced at Corinthia. "What's the resistance?"

"A few turrets and some gun fodder," she answered. "Nothing Garrus couldn't take out in a few minutes."

"Can you get into the turrets?"

"If I get closer, yeah."

Alenko kicked the Mako into gear and they tore towards the base. Garrus manned the gun turret.

"Just in case Ci-Ci takes too long to get in," the turian explained.

She snorted. "Yeah, right." Her fingers flew through her omni-tool's interface, screens of code popping up and disappearing in the blink of an eye. Before they were even in firing range, she smirked victoriously. "Got 'em."

Garrus sighed, disappointed, and left the gun. "You know, sometimes the rest of us want a chance to get the bastards."

A panel showing the turret's point of view appeared, along with a small control console. Corinthia maneuvered the turrets to face the snipers. The Cerberus soldiers panicked, diving for cover as she set the gun to blast away at them.

Shepard raised an eyebrow. She had never enjoyed killing, not really. Thankfully, the expression on her face wasn't one of enjoyment. Instead, her visage was blank, utterly devoid of emotion. This was just a job. Whatever revenge she had felt was absent. Maybe. Shepard couldn't be sure, not with how withdrawn she'd been.

"Clear," she declared after a couple minutes.

Alenko halted the Mako before the entrance. After they had all secured their helmets, Garrus opened the hatch and climbed out, checking the area for other enemies. "Missed some," he observed, firing three shots into one of the sniper nests.

Corinthia snapped her fingers. "Damn," she muttered, somewhat sarcastically.

"But thanks for leaving some for me," Garrus continued. "I need to practice to keep my skills up."

Shepard got out of the Mako, assault rifle ready. This mission was already feeling too easy. There hadn't been much resistance at all, other than Alenko accidentally driving them into a thresher maw nest. Corinthia landed on the ground next to him with a crunch. Her arms flailed as she attempted to regain her balance, but she righted herself before too long.

Shepard rolled his eyes. If she was going to be a klutz, she was going to stay with the Mako. Unfortunately, she was already at the door and hacking her way through it. Well, maybe not unfortunately. She was into the facility in less than two minutes.

Alenko popped his head out of the ATV's hatch. "Stay with the Mako?" he guessed.

Shepard glanced at Corinthia.

"No idea what's inside," she said, shrugging. "Your call, Shep."

"Then get your ass on the ground, Alenko," Shepard ordered.

Compared to the forces on Binthu, this mission was more than easy. Between Garrus, Alenko, and Shepard, every last Cerberus soldier was taken down. Corinthia barely even registered that there was a fight going on, as she seemed intent on getting to the upper level and the computer there. By the time Shepard caught up, she was screaming at the console and doing everything in her power to stop... something.

"What the hell, Ci-Ci?!" Shepard demanded.

"Gall-fricking-damned-poo-poo-kermuffin-kniggitts!" she huffed, kicking the computer when the screen went black.

Alenko raisaed an eyebrow. "Was that even English?"

Corinthia accusingly pointed to the computer. "That DAMNED thing started erasing everything the second I tried to get in. I've never seen such good firewalls. This must've had access to the Cerberus mainframe. It's the only explanation."

Shepard was trying not to snicker. As bad as it was to have lost potentially vital information, Corinthia was throwing a hissy fit. She'd gone from cold vengeance to hissy fit and, as immature as it was, he was grateful that she was herself.

"Calm down," he ordered, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Is there anything else for us to get?"

"No," she answered, sulking.

"Then we're leaving. We've done enough in this cluster. I swear, if Hackett calls, I'm going to the Fifth Fleet to take him down myself."

* * *

><p><strong>24 May 2183—Shepard's Quarters, <em>SSV Normandy<em>, en route to the Citadel**

Corinthia snored. Frankly, Shepard wasn't surprised. She seemed like the type. As soon as they'd gotten back onto the _Normandy_, Joker informed them that they had to get their reports of the events in ASAP. So, after cleaning up, they retired to his quarters and spent six hours doing paperwork to explain how and why they couldn't save an admiral. Corinthia had passed out on Shepard's bed after that (he still had to do his Spectre reports) and he hadn't had the heart to move her. It wasn't that she was cute when she slept (she looked closer to a drooling monkey), but instead that he didn't think he could lift her if he tried. She had this way of going completely limp and effectively doubling her body weight. He was strong, but he was exhausted. The best he could do was roll her onto her stomach and sleep on the other side of the bed. He stripped his shirt, boots, and socks before settling at her side.

Corinthia sat straight up as soon as he lay down. "What the—" She squinted at him. Her hair was half plastered to her face and half sticking up comically. "Are we on a cruise ship?"

Shepard chuckled. "No. We're on the _Normandy_."

"Oh." She fell back and stared at the ceiling. "I thought I'd fallen asleep on the lido deck and someone was trying to steal my seat."

"You did fall asleep in the middle of the bed."

"I should move, shouldn't I?"

"You can stay, if you like."

She blushed, but still rolled so that she was leaning her head against his neck. He curled an arm around her shoulders.

"Do you think Joker'll interrupt?" she asked, stifling a yawn.

"I muted the intercom."

"He can override it."

"Don't worry about it."

"I want my beauty sleep. Of course I'm worried!"

"I wouldn't exactly call it that…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you aren't exactly… pretty when you're asleep."

"Huh?"

"You snore and flop."

"Then I'll leave." She tried to sit up, he wouldn't let her. "Okay, you're doing that mixed signals thing again."

"I was making an observation, not objecting."

She settled back down against him. "You're weird. And warm. And not very squishy…" She rapped her knuckles against his abs. "Yeah, not squishy at all."

He didn't know if he was supposed to be flattered or not. At least he was amused. "And this is a problem why?"

"I was making an observation, not objecting," she retorted, attempting (and failing) to mimic his voice.

"And you're a twig. What happened? You were bigger when you enlisted."

"I know you're the master of tact, but you're not supposed to mention a woman's weight."

"Do you care?"

"Sorta… I mean, who can't?"

"You look amazing. Just saying that you used to have more… curves."

"What? I had bigger boobs?"

"That's part of it."

"Are you complaining?"

"Of course not. I'm just saying that you aren't 'squishy' either."

She snickered.

"What?" he demanded.

"You said 'squishy'."

He rolled his eyes. "Cassie…"

She giggled. "That's me!"

"Just go to sleep."

"Dunno if I can."

"Uncomfortable?"

"No. You're warm. I'm used to sleeping in the cold."

He pulled her closer, a smirk playing across his lips. "Get used to it."

"Not sure how much I can, considering regs..."

"Fuck regs," he muttered, shutting his eyes and making it clear that he intended to sleep. "As if I care. I want you more."

She grinned sheepishly. "Cue the romantic music and—Mmph… Okay, that too—" She pushed him away as he leaned in to kiss her again. "Shepard —" She put her hand up, catching his lips on her palm. He grabbed her wrist and pushed her hand aside, aiming again for her lips and hitting his target. "Shep —" She ducked, making his next attempt for her land on her eyelid. "John —" He smirked as he grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her to him. When he drew away for breath, she put her hand over his face and pushed him away. "Honestly! I'm trying to sleep!"

He almost laughed as he pulled her closer to his chest when she tried to escape. "You started it. Don't try and blame me."

"I'm not!"

He pinned her to the bed. "Wuss."

She stuck her tongue out. "Hopeless romantic."

"And?"

"I'll give you a handkerchief next time you go marching off into battle, my knight," she replied dramatically, putting on an English accent for effect. "And, prithee, where is thy armor?"

Shepard was tired enough to be willing to play along. He ran a knuckle gently against her cheek. "Thou hast found its weakness, Lady, so I need it not."

"Ooh… Shakespeare."

"No, Shepard."

She put her arms around his neck. "Close enough for government work. I think you owe me a kiss and a sonnet."

"The first I can give you." He did, lightly, with more tease than anything else. "And don't hold your breath for the second."

"Aw…"

"Can your eyes get any wider?"

"Don't think so. This is the best pitiful look you can get from me."

"Well, it's pretty damn good. Fine, you'll get a sonnet. But later. Right now..." He hesitated before saying, "We're done with Cerberus."

Corinthia inhaled deeply and slowly released the breath. "Okay."

He shifted so that he could look her in the eye. "If anything else comes up, we report it to Hackett and move on. We need to get Saren. Anderson just chewed me out for being... distracted."

Corinthia started. "He _knows?!_"

"Calm down!" Shepard groaned. "It's not like he'll care, not with Saren out there. Cerberus isn't a priority, that's all."

"I never said they were." Corinthia extracted herself from his grasp and sat up. "Then Shadow Broker contacted me. He wants the information we got."

"And?"

She shrugged. "What do you think? I told him to fuck off."

Shepard stared at her for a second before he started laughing. "That I would've wanted to see... What's that bastard look like?"

"Nothing. Just a voice. And a large offer of money. Not that I need it. Well, maybe I do. I don't know. Either way, it's just stupid to deal with that guy."

"I always thought you'd end up working for him after you left the Alliance."

"If I didn't die on the job, you mean."

His expression darkened. "That isn't going to happen. I'll die first."

She gratefully smiled. "I know. I still haven't figured out why — Well, I mean, I _know_ why, I think. I guess. Maybe. If I keep thinking about it, I'll just be jumping to conclusions and I don't want to do —"

Shepard cut her off with a kiss before she could talk herself into her own grave. "Shut up," he ordered sternly, grating his teeth along her bottom lip. "This kind of thing doesn't involve thinking at all. Besides..." He pinned her down on the bed, smirking. "You still need the practice."


	23. Feros

_**A/N 12/27/2012**_: Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in _Chp. 59, Author's Explanatory Note: An Update._

_**Disclaimer**__: Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!

Thank you for reading. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>13 June 2183—Zhu's Hope, Feros, Theseus System, Attican Beta Cluster<strong>

Corinthia looked around the grassroots colony nervously. "Shep, I don't like it here. Why did you have to listen to me?"

Zhu's Hope was small and struggling. Nestled in miles upon miles of ruined Prothean skyline, the colony had started as a center of Exo-Geni research. Considering how much trouble Exo-Geni had caused and Shepard had to clean up, it was no surprise that the colony was in trouble.

But something cold ran up Corinthia's spine when she looked at the inhabitants. They didn't make eye contact. Any questions posed were avoided or answered so vaguely that they could only be hiding something. As per usual, they were asking for Shepard's help. Thankfully, it was only to gather supplies rather than going and killing things—at least directly; they had to cut through geth and varren to get to anything the colonists asked about.

Shepard had yet to holster his assault rifle, nor was he about to. It was almost impossible to scare him, but the place was getting dangerously close to creeping him out. He would never show his apprehension, but whatever was lurking beneath the surface was not going to be pretty.

Corinthia had suggested that they come to Feros. Shepard had been more than happy to oblige, especially since they had spent the last few weeks doing Hackett's dirty work. The Commander wasn't particularly thrilled to be the Alliance's errand boy, especially after becoming a Spectre, but he hadn't been ready to face Saren again, not yet. To Shepard's shame, it was out of fear—not for himself, but for Corinthia. If she got hurt again, Shepard would lose it. Things would die, slowly and painfully, and Saren would wish he had never been born.

Of course, Saren was going to wish that anyway by the time Shepard was done with him.

He glanced at Corinthia as she shifted closer to him. Although she always did that when she was in a situation she found nerve-wracking, Shepard was wishing she wasn't, partially because he wanted to comfort her in unprofessional ways and mostly because the entire colony was watching them. Alenko was trying to help a woman with the water system, although he was getting frustrated when she refused to explain to him how to help. They had been met at the dock and ordered to leave; whenever that happened, Shepard took out his biggest gun and stood his ground.

He shifted closer to her, although it looked like he was just adjusting his rifle in his arms. "I listened to you, Ci-Ci," he began in a serious tone, "because the last ten missions you insisted I take from Hackett have gotten us some damn good equipment and a shitload of money."

"You know that's a woman's logic, right? Do it for the cash and accessories?"

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but I said it like a man. Besides, I saw your face when you got those omni-tool upgrades." It had been like a child at Christmas. He had thoroughly enjoyed her method of thanking him (hugs and kisses… lots of kisses) and made a mental note to always be around when he gave her something. "What are you even complaining about?" he finished. "You know damn well that we can't keep running around with our heads cut off."

Corinthia nodded. "Are we ready, though?"

He could hear her fear. It was the slightest change in her tone, an almost inaudible quiver in her voice, but it was there to hear for anyone who really knew her.

"Doesn't matter," he replied. "The bastard has it coming."

Alenko came back, shaking his head. "Damn, Shepard, that has to be the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me…" He glanced around. "I don't know about you two, but I think that Exo-Geni's up to something. This whole place just smells bad to me."

The ExoGeni Corporation was a research company that specialized in genetics. Like many of their kind, they were known to cross the ethical line for the sake of genetic "pioneering". Governments often took a Machiavellian approach when examining the methods used by such companies ("The ends justify the means"). Without them, humanity wouldn't be able to compete with the other races. Babies could have genetic therapy to correct for things from near sightedness to heart disease to other genetic disorders. Shepard's L-3 and Alenko's L-2 biotic implants were developed by geneticists, just as their amps were.

ExoGeni didn't have a particularly good reputation, either. They'd been in more scandals than a raunchy, rich celebrity.

"Of course they were up to something," Shepard muttered. "The question is what." He looked to Corinthia. "Ci-Ci?"

She saluted comically and took out her omni-tool. "On it. Estimated time 'til I have access to everything ExoGeni's ever tried to bury: one hour, two if they've gotten better security in the last six months."

"You've done this before?" Alenko asked.

"Don't be surprised," Shepard murmured. "She may not say what she's got her fingers in, but I'm pretty damn sure there isn't anything she can't get into."

"So, basically we can't keep any secrets from her."

"Yeah, basically."

"Hey, I keep the secrets I accidentally find out, thanks," she intervened, not looking at her omni-tool as her fingers kept working. "And I keep the ones people tell me, too. But I know better than to go looking for dirt unless I need it."

"And why aren't you working for the Shadow Broker again?" Alenko asked, legitimately curious.

She snorted. "Are you kidding me? That guy doesn't have a moral code. Hell, mine's pretty loose when it comes to hacking, anyway, but at least I've got something. I mean, it's the only one you can have when you do that kind of stuff, but I like to know who wants what and why. Besides, I'd have to go looking for stuff, not just happen upon it." She stopped when her omni-tool buzzed angrily. "Ooh, they've upgraded their detection software." She found a place to sit and collapsed in a huff. "This is going to be fun… Shepard, you may want to take someone else with you to the skyway." She gestured towards what was left of Prothean skyscrapers and the road connecting them. The ruins had been converted into research labs by Exo-Geni, but were now overrun by geth. "I need to concentrate on this."

Shepard nodded. "Joker, tell the rest of the team to suit up and meet us in Zhu's Hope."

"Aye, aye, Commander," Joker answered. "Not sure if I'll be able to get Liara out of that lab. She was saying something about a breakthrough or something like that. I can't keep track."

"Whatever," Shepard said. Liara was about as good of a biotic as Wrex was, so her absence wasn't any loss. Shepard was still trying to figure out how a krogan was biotic at all, but Wrex was.

Corinthia cursed as she mistyped a line of code. "Damned keyboard... I really need to figure out way to be able to use both my hands... Maybe if I project onto the wall…"

"I don't think she'll notice when the place goes up in flames," Shepard observed. With her that distracted, she wasn't going to be of any use to him on the infiltration squad. "You know how things tend to go to hell when we don't fight together."

Alenko chuckled. "That's one way of putting it, Commander, but I think you're just planning to blow it up."

"Well, that too..."

* * *

><p>Liara gulped and used her biotics to lift Williams into the air. Corinthia giggled and said, "Alright, you're doing great. Keep her steady… That's it… BANG!" She mimed shooting a shotgun. "Baddie's dead. So, set her down gently and we're done."<p>

Liara did. Williams nodded. "Good job, Liara. You're getting better."

At Shepard's behest, Williams and Corinthia had been making Liara practice her biotics. Though neither of the human women were biotics, they knew how to fight alongside biotics and were teaching the right way to provide support. Shepard and Wrex had no qualms about tearing people limb from limb with the telekinetics, leaving Liara and Alenko to provide support. With the boys off romping around Exo-Geni—an amusing mission, by the way Garrus, Wrex, and Alenko were bantering—the girls were stuck in the middle of the colony with nothing to do. Tali was off tinkering with some of the colony's infrastructure, saying that it was a good opportunity to further her pilgrimage. Corinthia was still working on getting into Exo-Geni's systems. The security here was so tight that it made the Alliance's Top Security servers look like a cheap lock on an eight-year-old's diary.

Liara smiled gratefully. "Thank you. I am glad. I am not hurting you, am I?"

Williams snorted. "Hell no."

"Good. I am beginning to understand why my mother insisted to attend an academy for biotics for a time…" Liara frowned slightly. "I wonder how she is doing…"

Williams nodded. "Yeah. I heard from my sister a few days ago." She laughed. "Punch some kid in the mouth for coming onto her. You ever done that, Ci-Ci?"

Corinthia shook her head. "Shep always does it for me. It isn't like I'd noticed if they were paying me attention, anyway. Shepard practically had to—uh," Corinthia blushed deeply, "forget I said anything."

Liara raised an eyebrow. "What did the Commander have to do? I am curious." Although Liara knew of the incident in the Mako, she had purposefully attempted to ignore the implications for her friend.

Williams examined Corinthia for a moment before breaking out into a knowing smirk. "You know, that's against regs, Ci-Ci."

Corinthia wilted bashfully. "Yeah, well…"

Liara put her hand on Corinthia's arm. "It's alright. I will not report you to your superiors."

Williams nodded. "Same."

Corinthia's expression of fear turned to gratitude. "Thanks, guys. It's… Well, I mean…"

"It's not a secret," Williams said. "We all see you going into his cabin and not coming out until the next morning."

"We're not doing anything!" Corinthia protested.

Williams narrowed her eyes. "You know, there's no point in lying. We all already know what you're up to."

Corinthia flushed. "I'm not lying. We really aren't doing anything."

"Then why are you blushing?"

"I haven't even talked to him about it, okay?"

Williams could hardly believe it. Then again, this was Corinthia. Shepard could probably dance naked in front of her and the girl would have no idea what was going on.

"Seriously? You sleep next to the guy and not with him? Damn, Ci-Ci, are you blind?"

"No," Corinthia muttered.

"Or is he? Does the man even have that much self-control?"

"He's not—I mean, if he's… I don't know! He doesn't look at me like that, at least that I've noticed, and—" Corinthia was avoiding thing about how hungry Shepard's kisses could be, let alone how he'd hold her...

"Chill out," Williams interrupted, putting her hand on Corinthia's shoulder. "I'm just saying it's surprising. Not that it's bad. Probably keeps some of the drama on the down-low."

"Well, not all of it, but, yeah, sorta avoids other problems, too, you know?" Corinthia didn't want to talk about it. Shepard hadn't even mentioned sex other than to state as fact that she wasn't ready for it. She was grateful, since she still wasn't completely relaxed in his arms, but she was starting to wonder if she was missing something… Starting to want him. Well, she'd wanted him for a long time, but now she was starting to be brave enough to consider acting on it.

"That might explain why he's been in a good mood for the last month," Williams observed. "I had been starting to think that he was just always pissed off about something."

"He kinda is, anyway," Corinthia answered. "Speaking of which…" Corinthia checked her omni-tool and put a finger to her ear's radio. "Still working on the firewalls, Shep. They've got catacombs under their mass grave."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Shepard asked angrily. From his breathlessness, he was either in a fight or had just finished one.

"They're burying things under what's already buried," she answered.

"That makes even less sense. Just tell me when you've got it."

"Okay. Be safe."

"Yeah… You too." He sounded reluctant to have even said the words, but they were out. "Shepard out."

Williams was trying not to laugh. "'You too'?" she repeated. "He says things like that?!"

"No," Corinthia answered. "Not really. It's usually 'watch your ass' or something like that."

Liara smiled. "Love is wonderful, do you not agree?"

Corinthia's cheeks burned even redder than before. "I-I wouldn't know."

Williams snickered. "Even if you don't, he has to."

"Huh?"

"Look, I've had boyfriends before. Men like Shepard take what they want. Since he's not taking it, he's gotta really care about you enough to respect that."

"Caring about me isn't love," Corinthia retorted.

"Would you even be with him if you didn't think he loved you?"

Corinthia opened her mouth to retort, but any words died on her lips. She hadn't thought about it. She hadn't even started to imagine why she was with Shepard at all, other than that she cared about him more than anything else and had never even tried to imagine being with anyone else. Sure, she thought that Kaidan was kinda cute, as was Garrus in an odd turiany way, but Shepard was just… weak knees, gaping mouth, oogly eyes, and a strong desire to cuddle.

Shepard was... She wasn't sure how to explain it. Someone as callus as he didn't let their emotions trickle though, but whenever they were alone, his entire demeanor shifted. He wasn't as determined in his movements, although the confidence remained. His expression would show his actual feelings—happiness, contentment, amusement. He could relax around her, maybe even let down his guard just enough that she could really know if he was troubled. Even if he didn't say exactly what he was feeling, he still felt something, and it was strong enough to start to change him.

In the last few weeks, he'd gone from saying "fuck" fifty times a day to twenty. He hadn't snapped at Pressley for something inconsequential. He let most of the crew take shore leave on the Citadel and stayed behind himself (although, of course, it was really an opportunity for him to sleep and be with Corinthia without as many prying eyes). He had even started to joke around with Joker a little. He was starting to open up a little to the rest of crew. It wasn't in the same way as Corinthia, who he could be weak around, but he was starting to show that he did have a sense of humor. This was also the longest he had ever worked with the same team before (Corinthia didn't count) and, for once, they were all competent—even the basic crew of the Normandy.

So maybe he was changing because of Corinthia. Or maybe he was just in a situation where he could make friends for the first time in his eleven and a half years of service.

"This is Shepard we're talking about," Corinthia finally said. "It took him eight years to even, you know, admit he likes me. If he liked me from the start. I don't think… Ack, everything just rolls back around to Akuze. That's when we became friends, really. So six years. Whatever. Too long!" she concluded, slapping a hand down.

"What is the normal duration in human courting rituals?" Liara asked.

Corinthia blinked. "Uh…"

"Courting rituals?" Williams repeated. She exchanged looks with Corinthia before they both burst into laughter.

"What have I said?" Liara asked, confused.

"It depends on the man," Williams finally explained, between breaths.

"And how drunk he is," Corinthia added.

"So for Shepard…"

Corinthia tapped her chin. "An hour, if at a bar with a single-minded purpose."

Liara frowned. "He has don't that in the past?"

Corinthia's eyes flashed with jealousy. "Yeah. Let's not talk about it." Her omni-tool started blaring and flashing red. "That's not good," she muttered, checking it. "That is very not good." She opened her radio. "Shepard, there are geth dropping in everywhere—"

"Tell me something I don't know!" he answered angrily, gunfire echoing in the background. "Their entire goddamn system is down. I've got to reset the whole fucking thing. Any ideas?"

"Yeah, yeah. Let me get you a program…"

Liara zoned out as Corinthia started spouting technical jargon and instructions to Shepard. Liara was extremely intelligent, but only in regards to Prothean history and technology. Much like Corinthia, she wasn't familiar with social protocols. Still, listening Corinthia go off was daunting. The woman was speaking faster than a salarian on caffeine pills. Her fingers blurred as they flew through the interface.

Williams came over, not wanting to interrupt Corinthia as she gave instructions. "We about to get into a fight?" she murmured to Liara.

"I am not sure," the asari murmured. "But I think it best we find Tali."

"Agreed. I'll get her." Williams went off without another word.

Liara nervously toyed with her fingers. She wasn't used to being a fighter just yet, but she had a bad feeling that another conflict was coming. In a way, it was thrilling. To feel the rush of power from the biotics… To maybe, one day, be as strong as her mother… How could Liara have ever wanted to be a scholar? Her natural curiosity was one thing, but she was enjoying the fight against Saren too much for that to have truly been her destiny.

Williams ran up, Tali in tow. "Guys," Williams started, "I think something's going on."

The citizens of Zhu's Hope milled around aimlessly, dropping into silence. Liara raised an eyebrow curiously as they all shuffled towards the entrance to the skyway.

Tali fidgeted. "They only started acting his way a few moments ago. I'm glad Ashley came to find me when she did."

Liara moved towards Corinthia. "Ci-Ci… Everyone's acting oddly."

"Hang on," Corinthia answered distractedly. Her fingers flew through her omni-tool's interface as she manipulated the security systems of the Exo-Geni headquarters.

When the colonists began arming themselves, Liara put a hand on Corinthia's shoulder. "Ci-Ci…"

Williams and Tali drew their weapons. "Ci-Ci!" Williams added, voice rising.

"I said hang on," Corinthia snapped, only looking up in shock when Liara but a biotic barrier between them and the citizens. Corinthia blinked, mouth flopping open and wondering where the hell she put her helmet. "Shepard, gotta go. We've got a fight on our hands."

"WHAT?!" he asked, almost angry. There was still a firefight on his end, but his tone made it clear that he was in no mood to help.

"The colonists are acting like zombies," Corinthia continued, running into cover as the fight escalated. "I've gotta make a concussion grenade or something so I don't—Argh!" she grunted as she took a shot to the shoulder. The armor stopped any damage, but she was really starting to wish she had head protection. "Just—Just hurry up and do something!"

"Are you kidding me?! I've got geth crawling all over my ass and you want me to come there and help?"

"Or just find something that'll help me out down here! This is a moment where my tactics are better than yours."

She could hear Shepard gritting his teeth. "I'll see what I can do. Wrex, Garrus, and Alenko have it in hand. We've got researchers up here who owe me, too."

"Ci-Ci!" Liara called. "I can't hold this for much longer." Williams and Tali were shooting over the colonist's heads, but they weren't even reacting.

"Working on it," Corinthia growled. "There's only so much I can do with this. Right, get ready to dodge. I've got a recharge ready for our shields. And it's not like they can shoot well, anyway. There's better cover over there. Ready?"

"No."

"Well, get used to being surprised. Now!"

* * *

><p>Alenko let the Mako cruise to a halt. "So, let me get this straight," he started. "Ci-Ci, Liara, Ashley, and Tali are hiding under one of the housing units and waiting for us to save them from the, ahem, 'super psycho-crazy zombified colonist people' so that they don't have to kill any of them."<p>

Shepard nodded, a little surprised that Alenko managed to repeat Corinthia's words so accurately. "Basically."

"So we have to use the grenades that girl gave us to gas them into unconsciousness."

"Yeah."

"And we can't just knock them out… why?"

Shepard thought for a moment. "Broken jaws? Law-suits? Liability? Ci-Ci has to make it complicated?"

"So, really, no good reason," Garrus concluded.

"What he said," Shepard replied. "Pistols only. If you have to shoot, nothing vital."

In almost any situation where he was under attack, Shepard was more than willing to reciprocate with lethal force. The rare exceptions had previously been limited to bar brawls and a few friendly spars with fellow soldiers. The only past situation where collateral damage had been a problem was the Skyllian Blitz, and even then all had been dismissed as the fault of the mercenaries. Despite the fact that his squads tended to take high casualties, Shepard had no civilian deaths on his record, nor was he about to start. It was one thing to shoot at another fighter, but another one completely to fight someone that, for all he could tell, was under the influence of some fucking mind-control plant. Whatever the hell Exo-Geni had been up to with that 'Thorian' thing was beyond forgivable. It was the researchers that would feel his wrath, not their test subjects. The only reason those researchers still lived (albeit one particularly loud-mouthed one was now sporting a broken jaw) was because a girl, Liz-something, had helped them at the headquarters.

Of course, Corinthia had asked him to find a way to knock the colonists out. That damn woman was going to be the death of him one day, but he'd rather die in her arms than die without her. If the Alliance got wind that his actions had been at her behest, they might get him into trouble. Might. She always had a way of making any bad situation seem good—the silver lining in every cloud.

Admittedly, the women's current situation was only half-way Corinthia's fault. She had ordered them into better cover, only to have the colonists use a crane to drop a crate to block them in. Their situation was only critical in that they were cramped down and, probably, breathing in the same thorian spores as the rest of the population.

Of course, Shepard just didn't like it when Corinthia was in trouble. His feral, protective nature came out with a vicious howl and it took all of his self-control to stay on task. Despite her reassurances that everyone was quite alright and that they would find a way to entertain themselves in the meantime, Shepard had doubled his team's pace in the Exo-Geni headquarters and made Alenko floor the Mako all the way back to the colony.

"You all focus on the colonists," Shepard ordered.

"While you get your damsel in distress. Got it," Alenko finished.

Shepard shook his head. "Fuck you, Alenko," Shepard muttered. Though it hadn't been a mistake to confide in Garrus and Alenko about his feelings for Corinthia, it had built a camaraderie that Shepard was still a little unused to. Not unnerved, but just something he would have to adjust to having. Like being with Corinthia. He relished every second they had, but the newness of it all threw him into a daze at times.

The colonists had set up pathetic barricades. Shepard put up a biotic shield and just ran through, elbowing and punching anyone that got in his way. His actions certainly were less violent than normal; in general, if he was going to hit someone, they would not have a face when he finished landing his blows.

"Shepard, where are you?" Corinthia radioed. "Oh, wait, nevermind. I see your boots."

Shepard stopped, elbowing a colonist in the gut. "How am I supposed to move this thing?"

"Uh, the crane? Biotics? I don't know," Corinthia replied. "Thank you, Shep."

He could feel her stupid, almost sarcastically over-the-top grin as it seeped out onto his boots. It wasn't her most attractive of faces, but it was one that let him know that she was, at least, completely unharmed.

After knocking out the three colonists attempting to subdue him, Shepard finally found the crane controls and lifted away the crate in front of Corinthia, Tali, Williams, and Liara.

"All clear," Garrus radioed. "We've knocked out all the colonists. Hopefully they won't get up before we kill the thorian."

"Bet you didn't expect that," Shepard, barely managing to suppress a smirk, told Corinthia. He felt a little pleased with himself for pulling it off at all. After all, he did enjoy killing things.

Corinthia shrugged and grinned sweetly. "So you're becoming a knight in shining armor. How adorable."

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm," he muttered darkly. Also, something just seemed off about her…

"Uh, what sarcasm?" Corinthia replied, running her fingers through her hair. Her bangs stood on end, showing off her scars for a moment before she smoothed them back down.

"Nevermind. Where the hell is your helmet?!" he demanded, realizing what had been bothering him.

"I dunno!" she protested. "I had it, and then I took it off to get into Exo-Geni's stuff, and then there was the fight, and now it's gone."

"Damn it, Cassie, after what happened on Eden Prime… How the fuck can you be so stupid?!" Shepard snapped. If something had happened to her… She should have known better. She almost died because Saren shot her and now she was running around without protection? She probably wasn't thinking and probably knew better, but that didn't change the fact that she was standing in front of him, hair sticking up and carbon scoring on her armor.

Corinthia shuffled her feet. He was upset, certainly, but in a worried way, not an "I'm about to smack you" tone that he could sometimes adopt.

"I'm sorry, Shep," she murmured, not offering any other explanation. There was no need to, really. He wouldn't listen. Sure, he was right and it was stupid for her to be in a fight without protection, but she didn't like being told off. Even if it was kind of adorable how his expression turned when he was worried.

Shepard took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yeah, well, don't do it again." For a second, he wanted to hold her and apologize for yelling, but he couldn't with the others watching.

"Kiss and make up?" Williams offered, smirking.

Shepard rounded on her. "Who asked you, Williams?!"

"Eesh, calm down, Commander. We all know," Williams answered, not at all perturbed. "Did you really think the crew wouldn't notice that you're spending the night together? Besides, no one's going to talk. It happens all the time. Just usually not with commanding officers." She nudged Corinthia over to Shepard. "Go have your moment."

Corinthia was crimson. "After that helmet discussion, I think I really ought to find mine and that he shouldn't take his off," she muttered, starting her search for her missing equipment.

Shepard glanced around at the scene. "Get the colonists into the modulars and bring Dr. Chakwas out here to take care of them," he ordered Williams as he started after Corinthia.

Williams saluted. "Yessir."

Shepard found Corinthia crawling under a fallen column, stretching to reach her lost equipment. Aside from the fantastic view of her ass, it was rather amusing how she was cursing under her breath. His anger at her for being so careless abated and he leaned against the wreckage.

"Find it yet?" he asked.

"Oh, hush," she answered, annoyed. "Oh, come on." She wriggled a little and finally managed to retrieve her helmet. Crawling out from beneath the wreckage, she grinned at him. "Happy now?"

"A little," he replied, ruffling her hair. How she managed to act so innocent, he'd never understand. "What happened here?"

She shook her head. "Exactly what I described, really. They went nuts, started trying to kill us..." She shrugged and got to her feet. "I dunno. It was weird..."

Shepard crossed his arms. "Did you find anything in ExoGeni?"

"Yeah. And it wasn't good. All kinds of nasty stuff going on, there. I don't envy whoever's gotta do the cover-up."

He took a step towards her, almost as if he was about to embrace her, but he stopped short. "Are you hurt?" he murmured.

"No," she replied. "Freaked out, but otherwise I'm fine." She smiled reassuringly. "You weren't worried, were you?"

"Yeah, I was." He still wasn't sure how he was going to confess — or even word — whatever it was he had been feeling, but he knew that he would have to before the end. However, he had time. After Saren... Maybe then he'd have the words.

She rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't think that you were even capable of that, but you get this adorable little frown..."

"And if you get yourself into trouble just to see it, I won't be happy," he growled.

"But you'll still save me, right?"

He sighed. "Yes..."

She grinned and patted his shoulder. "So stop pouting. I'll be fine. I am fine, you know?"

"The scars say otherwise," he muttered.

She smoothed her bangs over the marks. "Yeah, point." She had been thinking about getting them removed. There were skin grafts and things, and now that she was with him, her appearance actually mattered. It seemed like it shouldn't have, since he hadn't cared before, but maybe she was only just aware of it for the first time. That she wanted him to think she was pretty, or something equally silly.

Shepard took off his helmet, wiping the sweat from his brow. He needed to get his envirosuit tweaked; he'd been sweating his ass off every time he wore it for the last few missions.

"Cassie," he started, "don't do anything this fucking stupid again."

Corinthia frowned a little, but nodded. "I know. I won't."

He took a breath and put his gloved hand to her cheek. His fingers stroked over her scars, almost as is to prove that he didn't care that they were there. "Good. About time you listened to me," he muttered. As harsh as his words were, his voice was soft.

Just as Corinthia was getting on tiptoe to kiss him, Garrus's voice blasted through the radio."Commander, you're going to have to see this."

Shepard groaned. "Fuck..."

Corinthia shrugged. "Eh, we'll finish later, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Debriefing in your quarters?"

Shepard looked at her, almost positive that she had no idea what that phrase implied. "Something like that." Then again, if she did... Shepard was going to have to find something else to think about for the rest of the mission before he got too distracted.

Corinthia pushed on her helmet. "Ack, I need a different hairstyle," she muttered. "My bangs are getting everywhere..." She headed towards Garrus.

Garrus, Tali, Wrex, and Liara were standing by a gap in the modulars, looking down into a cavern.

"I think we found the thorian," Garrus said.

"Let's kill it," Shepard answered.

Liara frowned. "Commander, are you sure? It's the only one —"

"Positive," he snapped, putting his helmet on as he stepped into the hole. "There are enough mind-fucking mind-controllers in this galaxy already."

"You know, I sill never managed to get all the way into ExoGeni," Corinthia mused. "I heard your half of the conversation about the thorian, so what... is..." Her eyes widened as she saw the thorian. It was as large as the Normandy and hanging down ten stories into a pit. It looked between a banana slug and a root that had started to rot, dripping slime, with a tentacle for a mouth. "That's… large…"

Shepard took out his assault rifle, looked at it, looked at the thorian, and then back at his weapon. "We're going to need bigger guns."


	24. Sorting It Out

_**A/N 12/27/2012**_: Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in _Chp. 59, Author's Explanatory Note: An Update._

_**Disclaimer**__: Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!

Thank you for reading. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>14 June 2183—Comm Room, <em>SSV Normandy<em>, en route to the Citadel**

_The galaxy is dying, flaking away like ash in the breeze. Slowly, at first, until the hurricane hits. The Reapers — the ships, machines, creatures, monsters, gods that lurk in dark space, waiting to consume every world._

_The pain starts slowly, a simple throb in time with your pulse. Then, when the fear hits, it quickens and crescendos to an unbearable screeching tattoo. Inescapable. Your mind is threatening to shatter at the sound. It saps your strength, your resolve, your hope... There is nothing left but your own death. Your fear. Your doom. Your death._

_The Reapers have voices. Their arms open, revealing their red glowing eyes, and a deep, dissonant, metallic noice that reverberates in every part of your body, raking down your spine, chilling you to the bone, and freezing you in place. It is their call, their one warning that they are there, and that there is nothing you can do to escape._

_**You cannot fight this. Your end will come, no matter what you do. Resistance is futile. Roll over and die. Let your death be fast, simple, and relatively painless.**_

_**But you will quake. You will know that you have been defeated. You will know that you are not the greatest thing in this galaxy. You have no power. You have no influence. You have nothing.**_

_**We are the Reapers. We are your demise.**_

_**Do not run. There is nowhere you can hide. If they could not before you, you cannot now.**_

_**We are the Reapers. Know us. Fear us.**_

_…. The image breaks, but only for a second, just to whisper one last message:_

_**You must fight**._

Shepard stared at the floor, hating that he had to relive that. Again. Every fucking time something happened with that goddamn vision, Liara was there to drag it out. At least this time he managed to keep Corinthia out of it. That cipher, whatever it was, had actually helped.

After fighting through the "creepy-plant-zombies" (as Corinthia called them) — the brain-washed and drained husks created by the thorian — Shepard had mercilessly destroyed the thorian. The creature, which was older than the Protheans, had consumed things into itself, used its spores to control their minds and wills, and then spat clones back out. Specifically, of an asari in Matriarch Benezia's service.

Because the thorian was so old, it could understand the Protheans. The asari had learned that secret and passed it along to Saren and, in thanks for freeing her from the thorian, given it to Shepard. As loathe as he was to spare the asari, he had at Corinthia's behest; she was convinced that the asari was only acting "under the influence" of both Saren and the thorian. With the thorian dead, rather violently in a multi-grenade induced blast, hopefully the asari's loyalty wouldn't sway.

"Besides, you have this way of making people loyal to you. I think it's the scowl," Corinthia had teased.

Still, joining minds with two asari within six hours was not Shepard's idea of fun. Reliving that vision again and again, feeling that chill run through his spine... Shepard hated fear, especially in himself.

This time, though, he could hear the Reapers. Their calls — or whatever the hell they were — had mixed in with the Prothean screaming so well that he hadn't been able to tell them apart. But that cacophonous noise had put fear into him.

Then that last whisper... It was a quiet voice, like that of a dying man. The final cry of a dying race, begging for help. No, not help; to be remembered. To leave something behind to give the next victims hope.

The Reapers were coming back. There was nothing Shepard could do to stop that. They asked for submission since there was no way any species could overcome such utter destruction.

As he stared, his crew sitting around him waiting for him to explain why Liara was shivering and pale with fear after only a few seconds of having her mind connected to his, Shepard slowly began to understand why Saren had left the Spectres: to see if the Reapers were real.

Based on Saren's actions, they had to be. He had taken a geth ship and was using it to start that destruction. Paving the way. Or was he trying to save the galaxy? No, that wasn't possible. If that were true, he wouldn't have attacked Eden Prime. Or, maybe, Saren was trying to help... Did he know something Shepard didn't? The turian had to. But what?

Corinthia got to her feet and hugged Liara. "That bad, huh?" Corinthia murmured.

Liara nodded, shakily stepping away from her friend. "Yes, it was terrifying... But I understand, now. The Protheans were warning us of what caused their destruction."

Garrus tapped one of his mandibles. "So, it's going to happen again?"

"Well, that sucks," Williams muttered, resting her elbows on her knees.

"How do the geth play in?" Tali asked, both curious and fearful.

"What is Saren even after?" Alenko added.

"Can someone just tell me what to kill?" Wrex growled. "Because the geth don't bleed enough."

"How does my mother play into this? What is she doing with Saren, of all people?" Liara whispered.

Shepard closed his eyes, trying to keep their questions out of his head. He didn't know the answers. He didn't need them thinking right then because he couldn't. That vision... It was destroying him, slowly, at a mental level. To be told that he was not the best, that he could be defeated... And to hear it from a voice that paralyzed him on the spot...

"Shep, what's going on?" Corinthia said, leaving Liara to stand in front of him. "What are we supposed to do?"

"Will everyone just SHUT UP?!" he shouted, surging to his feet. His biotics flared around his fists, throwing Corinthia and Liara across the room and into Alenko, Wrex, and Williams. He sucked in air, not caring that he'd probably hurt the women — that he'd hurt Corinthia.

Everyone exchanged looks. Corinthia extracted herself from Alenko's lap. "Crew dismissed," she said quietly.

No one was going to argue. They left without another word, exchanging dark glances. If Shepard was going to become like Saren...

Corinthia locked the door and ran her fingers through her hair. She had a thousand questions to ask him, but she wasn't going to say any of them. If he needed silence, she would give it. So, she sat down across from him, eyes fixed on the cold floor. It had been cleaned recently; she could see her reflection in it. Wrex had left a muddy trail behind him, since he wasn't the sort to wipe his feet off when he came onto a ship.

Shepard paced, his mind in complete turmoil. Saren, the vision, the Reapers... Everything was turning into a psychotic whirlwind that would drive anyone insane. No wonder why Saren snapped...

After almost ten minutes, Corinthia's hand found his. "John, take a deep breath," she murmured, giving him a calm smile. She was leaning forward in her chair, catching him as he passed.

He didn't look at her, but he did as she asked. His fingers tightened a little on hers, taking what comfort he could. If she hadn't been assigned there, if she had rejected him, if he'd lost her friendship... He didn't want to think about that. The fact was that he had her and he was not going to begin to imagine otherwise.

"I'm not going insane, am I, Cassie?" he asked quietly.

She stood up, carefully looking him over. Her lips widened into a playful grin. "Well, of the two of us, I'd say I'm far crazier than you'll ever be," she concluded.

"No jokes," he added darkly, gripping her hands and making her look into his eyes. All he wanted was for her to understand just how serious he was, how badly he was affected. "I'm seeing things. That vision won't leave me alone. Every time, it gets worse... This time... Now there's a voice to go along with the night —"

His words were cut off when Corinthia kissed him, more fiercely than she ever had. She had his face in her hands and was practically dragging him down to her height. His eyes were wide open and he could barely even enjoy it, he was in such shock. Corithia, aggressive? That didn't happen, but he sure as hell was going to enjoy it. Any kind of confidence in their romantic relations was rare, as she was still convinced that she was not a good kisser or knew what she was doing. He informed her that practice makes perfect and had gladly supplied as much as she wanted. If she stayed confident like this, though, he was going to enjoy it much, much more.

"Don't be silly," she whispered hoarsely, dragging her lips away from his far sooner than he wanted. "You're not insane. And even if you are, I don't care." She had to stop herself from saying, 'Even if you are, I'll still love you'. It was far too soon for that and, even if Corinthia believed that Williams had a point that Shepard wouldn't be anywhere near Corinthia without feelings of that magnitude, Corinthia wasn't going to add another problem to Shepard's list. If it was a problem. More to the point, it was just bad timing.

Shepard tightly wrapped his arms around her shoulders, burying his face in her neck. She held him, wondering for half a moment if he was going to cry, but then he was kissing her throat, his fingers digging into her back as his fervent caresses moved up her jaw and to her lips. He needed her — all of her — because he was convinced that she was going to be taken away from him like she was in every last nightmare he had.

"John!" she protested, pushing him away before his tongue slipped into her mouth. "Have you lost it?! There are cameras in here!" Her cheeks were flushed and he knew that she'd loved every second of it (he knew what spots to hit).

Shepard glanced at the ceiling, imagining Joker's commentary ("Aw, snap! The Commander and Ci-Ci?! Let me get some popcorn. This is going to be good"), shrugged, and went back to Corinthia. "Fuck it. I don't care."

She avoided his lips as he leaned towards her. "Well, I do."

"You're the one that just assaulted me," he retorted, not particularly in the mood for games.

"You needed it. And if you want me that badly, let's just go to your quarters."

Although he was positive she had no idea what she was offering, Shepard's heart raced at the suggestion. "Cassie, don't tease me. Don't say something like that and just expect me to be alright with it when you change your mind."

Her cheeks flushed. "I..." She had known what she'd said, even if part of her had hoped he would overlook the comment. Of course, he wouldn't. Not in that moment. He was feeling vulnerable and she was his safety blanket. "Can we talk about this somewhere else?"

He wanted to grit his teeth and demand an answer, but if she needed time to think, he couldn't push. He wanted to, more than ever before, but he wouldn't do it. Beyond her lack of experience — which she was quickly overcoming, in his opinion — there wasn't any good reason for her to stay chaste. She knew better than anyone that he wasn't the type to be content with only holding hands. Not that they even really had a chance to do that.

"Yeah," he replied. "My quarters."

She smiled, reassured, but the underlying layer of nervousness only seemed to tense. Shepard knew she was overthinking things. She always did. It meant that it was important to her and that she cared, but she was supposed to be comfortable with him, not afraid.

When the door to his room closed behind them, Corinthia sheepishly shuffled his feet. "I'm sorry, I'm not ready," she whispered.

He had expected that answer. "Alright," was all he said in return.

She blinked. "So... That's it?"

"That's it." He'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed, but it was better to have some of her than risk losing all of her over something so simple like sex. They'd get there, eventually, he reassured himself, and she had to be ready or else he wouldn't even enjoy it.

She grinned gratefully and hugged him. "Thank you... Do I need to explain why?"

"No." He didn't want to know. Then he could argue back.

"Commander, I have the Council," Joker radioed.

"Damn it, Joker, do I have to put you on mute?" Shepard answered.

"Uh... Maybe? Want me to tell them to go away?"

"No, no, I'll take the call," Shepard answered. "Just patch it through in here."

"Yessir."

Corinthia shifted so that she would be out of view.

The Council appeared on Shepard's console. The Asari Councilor was almost smiling. "Commander, you're to be commended. We heard how you treated the colon—Where is your common decency?!" she demanded as Shepard stripped off his shirt.

"I'm exhausted and don't have time for your bullshit," he growled. "I did what I thought was right and I don't give a damn about your approval. The more you bother me, the farther ahead of me Saren gets. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some sleep so that I can do my goddamn job. Shepard out." He cut the transmission before the Council could say anything else.

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Annoyed much?"

"Just a little," he replied. "Are you staying here tonight?"

"I've gotten the impression lately that you can't exactly sleep without me."

She had a point: He had come and found her two out of three nights for the last few weeks. If the crew didn't know they were together in some manner, they knew now. Discretion never had been his strong suit. For all he could tell, most of the crew seemed pleased with the fact that he was with Corinthia. He was, at least, a bit more relaxed and laid back than before. Less snippy, as Corinthia put it.

Shepard felt a little ashamed that he needed her like he did, but he was still adjusting to the fact that he would always be a bit vulnerable around her. It was aggravating and refreshing, to have someone he trusted so intimately.

"Is that a problem?" he asked.

"No." She sat on the bed, kicking off her boots. "It's just unnerving sometimes how... desperate you can seem. Kissing me and all. I'm not going to disappear, you know." She ran her fingers through her hair and then flicked it back into place.

"That's what you think," he muttered, joining her.

She blushed and averted her eyes. Whenever he looked at her with any kind of intensity, she couldn't keep his gaze. She smoothed her bangs over her scars.

"Stop that."

"What?"

"Hiding half of your face." He brushed her hair away, fingers lingering on her skin.

"I don't like them."

"They're not that bad."

"Doesn't matter."

"What do you want me to do? Kiss them?"

"If it'll make them better."

He put his lips against her temple and his hand drifted down to caress the skin of her throat. He hated and loved the scars — hated them because it meant she'd been hurt and he hadn't been able to stop it; loved them because they were reminders that she was stronger than she seemed, that she could survive as well as he could, and that he had had to cherish what time they had together because the next scar could be the killing blow. They were not immortal, despite what the Alliance seemed to think.

Her eyes closed and she moved so that he could lean over her and gently kiss the river-like scars on the other side of her face. Her hands rested on his chest and slid around to his back. For all her shyness, she was quickly overcoming her hesitance as she became accustomed to the fact that he was genuinely happy to guide her through every physicality. That he enjoyed her innocence and lack of experience, even if it was only because it gave him a greater sense of possession. She had only ever been his and, perhaps, would only ever be his.

Shepard stopped before he began attending to her neck. "Better?" he asked, trying not to smirk.

"I'm not convinced yet, but you're starting to sway me," she answered, grinning. Her cheeks were barely flushed and the tone in her voice implied that she very much wished he hadn't stopped.

His fingers idly stroked along the skin of her throat. Their uniforms were too high collared for him to even attempt to touch her shoulders and he knew she wouldn't be keen on taking off her shirt (or, more to the point, letting him remove it for her). He was searching for words, since he knew she needed to hear things rather than be shown them.

She cocked her head to one side. "John?" she said once he'd been quiet for almost a minute.

He blinked, snapping out of his reverie. His attempt to think of a compliment for her had turned into other rather more passionate images.

"Sorry, Cassie. Just getting... distracted."

She frowned. "The nightmare again?"

"No. You."

Her eyes widened slightly when she realized what he was thinking. "Uh..."

"What?" he replied. "I care about you. I want you, but I already said that I'll wait until you're ready, so I will. It's just sex."

She frowned, although she looked like she wanted to smile. "Well, thanks for that, but I don't see it that way..."

He shrugged, stripping his pants before getting under the covers. "Stop thinking and come to bed."

She went and turned off the lights before she, too, undressed (mostly — She remained in her undershirt, bra, and underwear) and crawled under the sheets. As she settled against his side, she put a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'm sorry."

He groaned. "Stop apologizing, too."

"Okay. Sorry. Sorry!" She grunted in frustration and flipped onto her back. "Damn it, I'll never get that right..."

Shepard chuckled, leaning over her. Whatever poor feelings he'd had from the vision had dissipated. "And stop worrying." He captured her lips with his for a languid moment. He was going to add something about how he understood that she'd have to learn, but with how she was kissing him back... Yeah, talking was not going to be on the agenda for a while.

* * *

><p><strong>24 June 2183—Liara's Office, <em>SSV Normandy<em>, orbiting Luna, Earth, Sol System**

Corinthia clenched a fist. "Cerberus..."

Williams raised an eyebrow, not turning her attention away from the vid message her little sister had left. Williams didn't like Cerberus very much, but she had, at least, moved on after the missions in the Voyager Cluster. Corinthia couldn't let go and was determined to... something. Williams had stopped listening to the technical jargon and inane mutterings about three hours before. With Shepard, Garrus, Alenko, Wrex, and Tali down on Luna chasing after some rogue VI, Williams was left with T'Soni, Joker, and Corinthia for company. Joker was babbling on about being "worried about his baby" (the Normandy) and T'Soni was just downright creepy in Williams's eyes, so that left her to either sit in the cargo hold on her own (boring) or hang out with Corinthia and, at least, be somewhat amused by whatever random nonsense came out of the Lieutenant Commander's mouth.

"What is it this time?" Williams asked a couple minutes later, shutting off the vid message.

Corinthia waved her omni-tool, the screens before her showing several images of Prothean beacons. "Apparently the one on Eden Prime isn't the only one," Corinthia started.

Williams squinted at the pictures. The resolution was blurred in most of them, with the date stamps from as far back as the First Contact War. "Are those turians in there?"

"Yep," Corinthia replied.

"Saren?"

"I can't ID any of them, but it's possible." Corinthia slumped in her seat. "If Cerberus is mixed up in this, too..."

Williams frowned. "Don't go there, Ci-Ci. We have enough to worry about without getting pulled into chasing down a ghost organization."

Corinthia cocked her head to one side. "Oh, yeah. Right. Forgot... I get so worried sometimes that... Yeah, sorry..." She shut off the monitors and rubbed her eyes. "I'm going to get him court marshalled, aren't I?"

"For what?"

"Side-tracking."

Williams rolled her eyes. "Stop worrying about it. If they didn't do anything about Torfan, they're sure as hell not going to do anything about him getting rid of a thorn in their side. Yeah, it's not Saren, but it's not the end of the world."

"Alright..." Corinthia shuffled her feet. "How... bad is it that we're... you know..."

"Bad? Personally, I think it's cute. The man actually looks happy." Williams smirked. "I still can't believe you two aren't sleeping together."

Corinthia's cheeks flushed as she remembered how... frustrated Shepard had been lately, especially since he had to be the one to call things off because he knew damn well that she wouldn't until it was too late. It didn't help that she was determined that their first night together would be romantic, not on a warship, and somewhere that the Alliance wouldn't be breathing down their necks (or Joker waiting to eavesdrop, for that matter). Of course, they might never get that chance, but they could at least wait until after Saren was dealt with before crossing that bridge. Besides, it was too soon in her mind. Yes, things were moving quickly and they already had so many years of a relationship behind that that they weren't doing the usual get-to-know-you dance, but she was still trying to adjust to the fact that anyone would want her in that manner, especially him. Considering his past encounters with women, he never would have started to dream that his taste in romantic company (of any form) encompassed her.

"Heh, yeah, well, there's enough drama around," Corinthia muttered sheepishly, focusing on her omni-tool. She almost drew up the Cerberus information again, but she had decided to let that rest. She would tell Shepard when he got back that she was finished. Wait, maybe not. He had enough to worry about without her own little personal missions.

Williams nodded. "Yeah, we've got plenty going around. I still can't tell if this ship is Alliance or Council."

"Both. I'm not even sure whose order override whose because there hasn't been a Spectre in the Alliance before..." Corinthia frowned. "Maybe I should look up some of that regulation and get it sorted."

"'Get it sorted'?" Williams repeated, snorting. "That sounds so pompus..."

"What else should I say?"

"I don't know. 'Suggest new regulations'?"

"Booooring."

"You'd say that."

"Yeppers." Corinthia grinned stupidly.

"Ma'am, I have a suggestion."

"...'Ma'am'?"

"Yeah, ma'am. Get. Some. Sleep."

Corinthia groaned and got to her feet. "Alright, alright... I'm going."

"_Ci-Ci, you there_?" Joker radioed.

"Yeah," she replied. She dramatically rolled her eyes, making Williams snicker. "I'll just come to the bridge. I'm bored of yelling at you through the ceiling."

"_About damn time I get some personal attention around here_," Joker answered, flicking his fingers through one of the interfaces. The pilot was immobile, for all intents and purposes, and to date everyone was hanging out in the cargo bay and he wasn't invited. Still, snooping on the Commander stealing kisses and gropes from Corinthia was pretty entertaining, especially when Joker actually had something to tell them. Her expressions at the interruptions were priceless.

He winced when she flicked his ear.

"Hey, watch it!" he warned. "I'm fragile!"

"Oh, so I'd knick your ear off?" Corinthia teased. "Poor baby. I'll just have to pinch your cheeks to make it better."

Joker fended off her hand. "Okay, that's going too far."

"You started it. So, what's up?"

Joker was a little disappointed that she'd go back to business so quickly, but her eyes were bloodshot and he kew that he hadn't seen her sleep once. Except she might have during the fice or so naps he took, in addition to his regular sleeping hours.

"We've got a distress call from some random-ass planet called Virmire," he began. "I'm not even sure how we've managed to pick it up this far out."

"Who sent it?"

"STG. They mentioned you by name, and then the Council, and then just anyone that would listen, really."

"And then why'd you call me up here? You know that Shep's getting sick and tired of errands."

"Even though he's doing one now?"

"Yeah, tell me about it..." Corinthia rubbed her eyes. "Who transmitted the message?"

"Uh... Kirrahe," Joker replied, checking something. "Want me to play it?"

"Yeah, go for it."

Joker hit a button, the distress call echoing down the area. It was garbled and difficult to understand, cut in-and-out because of massive amounts of interference.

Corinthia frowned. "So, if I heard that right, they're deployed on Spectre business and need help."

"Basically," Joker answered. "And, uh, was it just me or did you hear him say 'Saren'?"

She opened her omni-tool, getting a verbatim dictation of the message. "I don't think so, but you know what? Why don't we just... pretend that he did."

"You're going to lie to the Commander?" Joker blinked in surprise. "Didn't think you'd lie to your boyfriend like that."

"I know Kirrahe. He wouldn't ask for help unless he damn well needed the best he could get. And he asked for me, which means he's getting Shepard, too, and we therefore must have a valid excuse. So, if Saren might be there, Shepard can go take a look."

"You are one tricky woman," Joker observed, rather amazed.

"Thanks. I try." Corinthia grinned, but her attention was focused on finding anything from Virmire that she could.

Joker leaned back, looking out at Luna. A few parts of the base lit up, as if exploding. "That looks like the Commander's work."

Corinthia glanced up at the scene. "Maybe. Get him on the comm."

"I'm not a radio man."

Corinthia laughed. "And who's the one we ALWAYS talk to?"

"Alright, alright, you have a point." Joker opened a new interface, showing the feed from Shepard's helmet. Sure enough, the explosions had been caused by him. By the looks of the area, he was now cleaning up after whatever slaughter he had incurred. "Commander, I've got Ci-Ci for you."

"_Patch her through_," Shepard answered.

"Oi, we've got a situation," she said. "And it isn't a party you're missing. The STG sent out a distress call from Virmire. Whatever it is, it's bad. The message is a little unclear, but Kirrahe might've said something about Saren."

"_I'm kinda in the middle of something_."

"Yeah, I can see your feed." Corinthia examined the picture closely. "Oh, right, there are still things alive. That means you're not done."

"_Basically, yes_." Several things exploded on the screen. "_So, start over._"

"The STG sent a distress signal from a planet called Virmire. They don't do that unless they're royally screwed over. And they may have said something about Saren."

"_Get the coordinates ready. We'll be back in an hour_."


	25. Kirrahe

_**A/N 2/6/2013**_: Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in _Chp. 59, Author's Explanatory Note: An Update._

_**Disclaimer**__: Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!

Thank you for reading. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>27 June 2183—Virmire, Hoc System, Sentry Omega Cluster<strong>

Despite being occupied by the geth, Virmire was a beautiful planet, a veritable stormy paradise. The sky was purple with thunder and lightning cracked the horizon like egg shells. The teal ocean lapped up against white beaches, where pod-like creatures roamed like cattle. Every so often, waves would crash against the black, shining, mountainous rocks. The sandy paths were smoothed to perfection, absolutely perfect to rip up.

Corinthia had done just that. Killing the geth lining every path was almost a game rather than a challenge. Shepard, Wrex, Alenko, and Garrus rode atop the ATV, taking potshots at the local wildlife and weaker geth. When necessary, they would hop off and destroy a mini-encampment of the AIs while Williams helped on the Mako's main guns. Tali and Liara kept the Mako in one piece with shields and various other mundane things. Corinthia drove, her goal to throw Wrex like a bronco throws a cowboy. She succeeded three times and was very pleased about it.

With all of that said, everyone was glad for the change in driving pace; her tendency to attempt to scale near-vertical cliffs on whatever planet they landed on had grown wearisome.

The STG camp was a few miles away from shore. The only reason Joker hadn't gotten them right there were some AA towers, which, of course, Shepard took down on the way in. Sometimes he wondered if Joker was as good as he claimed, since the pilot had this annoying habit of dropping them off very, very far away from their target.

Salarians were darting about, almost all of them armed with weapons unlike anything Shepard had seen. He could only assume that the STG had access to goods that even Spectres didn't. Or they had designed them themselves. A few glanced at him when they arrived, but no one seemed very interested in them at all.

Wrex was the first off. "Won't give that damned woman another chance," he muttered, glaring through the windshield at Corinthia. She grinned and cheekily waved back at him.

Shepard shrugged. "At least it wasn't in space."

"Or back home on Tuchanka. I'd be maw fodder," Wrex growled. He lunged at a salarian, laughing when the STG member skittered away. "Ah, that's better."

Alenko landed next to Shepard, water splashing everywhere. "They look the worse for wear," he murmured. "What do you think's going on here?"

Shepard frowned. "It had damn well better be important. If this is another fucking wild goose chase..."

"I don't think Ci-Ci would do that, not again."

Shepard shook his head. "You don't know her like I do. She would chase after a rainbow until she caught it."

Alenko chuckled. "And now I wonder how she made lieutenant commander."

"So do I."

Garrus was scanning the horizon through his scope. "Doesn't look good, Shepard. Lots of geth ships... And... Wait, I think..." He lowered his rifle. "I think I see Saren's ship, Commander."

Shepard scrambled back atop the Mako, grabbing Garrus's weapon to take a look. A chill ran down his spine when he spotted it. "That's it," he said quietly. He stomped a foot on the hatch. "Everyone out!"

Liara was the first to exit, as usual. She slipped and fell into the water. Wrex started laughing, and Shepard might have if he wasn't busy imagining ways to disembowel Saren.

The asari righted herself and brushed away the extra water. "How clumsy of me," she murmured, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Garrus was helping Tali out. "I wouldn't worry too much about it, Liara," he called, smirking. "At least your weapon didn't go off."

"Thanks, Garrus," Tali said, hopping off the Mako. "Are you alright, Liara?"

"Fine, thank you," Liara replied.

"Damned funny, that," Wrex chortled. "Almost as good as a turian falling flat on his face."

Garrus leapt down, splashing the salty water all over Wrex's face. "What was that? I seem to recall turians having very good balance," he observed, successfully hiding a smirk.

Williams shook her head as she climbed out. "So, no one's taking this seriously, are they, skip?" she asked Shepard.

Shepard didn't reply beyond shaking his head and getting off of the Mako. A salarian approached him, waving to something behind him.

Corinthia landed beside Shepard with a splash. "Kirrahe! It's awesome to see you again!"

"I'm glad to see you, Ci-Ci," the salarian replied. His relief was more than apparent. "I take it you received my transmission? Have you brought reinforcements?"

"We are the reinforcements," Shepard replied, stepping in front of Corinthia.

Kirrahe frowned. "Is this all they sent? I requested an army."

"You're getting better." He saluted Kirrahe. "Commander Shepard, Spectres."

"Captain Kirrahe, Third Infiltration Regiment, STG. I've heard of you, Commander. You have quite the reputation." Kirrahe smiled wearily at Corinthia. "I'm glad you're here. We can use all the help we can get and you're the best of the best."

Shepard gritted his teeth. Corinthia was good, but not that good. "She's under my command."

Kirrahe blinked. "That's unexpected. I was led to believe that she worked best alone."

"I work best with teams, Kirrahe," Corinthia quickly excused. "Always have and probably always will. So, what's bugging you? Your transmission wasn't exactly… clear. The Council sent us to see what was going on."

Kirrahe frowned. "That was why we were sent as well."

"The Council?" Shepard hissed. "Ci-Ci…"

After coming back from the Luna Facility, Corinthia hadn't really taken the time to explain anything more about the transmission, let alone that she'd been the one to talk to the Council when they called.

"They said you'd just cut them off," she answered innocently. "And you would've, wouldn't you?"

"Point."

"We're pinned down," Kirrahe continued. "We've been here for weeks, sent as reconnaissance. I've lost half my team investigating this place. We found something big, but we couldn't get word to the Council." He warily eyed the other members of Shepard's team as they joined the conversation. "Commander, are all of these people privy to this discussion?"

"Yes," Shepard answered. "Now, continue."

Kirrahe eyed Wrex before saying, "Saren has set up a cloning facility. He's breeding an army of krogan warriors."

Wrex stiffened. "Is that so?" His voice was dangerous, bordering between hope and eagerness.

Kirrahe nodded. "We believe he found a cure to the genophage. It must be destroyed."

Wrex clenched a fist. "That's not possible… That would mean the salvation of my people."

"Curing the genophage is a mistake." Kirrahe offered no explanation, assuming that the others would simply agree with him.

Wrex put a finger in Kirrahe's face. "We are not a mistake." With that, he stormed off.

"What's with him?" Williams asked, uneasy. She knew exactly what was wrong and reached for the safety on her pistol. She had never been overly fond of Wrex and had no qualms about putting him down.

"I'll get him," Corinthia offered. "Shep, I've got ears through you, so no need to update me later."

He raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She held up her omni-tool. "Voice recorder and linked systems."

He frowned. He didn't like being kept tabs on. "When did you do that?"

"After Eden Prime, when you weren't looking."

Although he shouldn't have been surprised, not to mention that it would explain a few things, Shepard wasn't pleased at the information. Why did she have to know everything? At least she could keep her mouth shut, though, when she learned about things no one else was supposed to know.

"Who asked you to do that?" he growled.

"No one. I did it in case another Eden Prime happened," she answered, expression turning serious. "If you can keep an eye on me, neither of us will get into that kind of trouble."

That made her intrusion a little better, but only enough to make it excusable. "Fine. Just make sure you tell me how to access it."

"Will do. I'll be right back." She winked and followed Wrex.

To say that Wrex was enraged was an understatement. The krogan was ready to literally tear something limb from limb. He paced the beach, muttering, growling, glaring at Shepard and Kirrahe, and shouting at anyone that dared venture near. Right as Corinthia approached, he drew his shotgun and began firing into the water.

She took out her omni-tool and began to see if she could hack into the system.

"Let's start by seeing if this is a cure to the genophage or just cloning," she started, voice calm and reassuring.

"What's it matter?" Wrex retorted, rounding on her and putting the shotgun right in her face. "Those are my people. We are NOT a mistake."

Corinthia didn't flinch, but she could feel Shepard's hackles rising from where she was. She waved at him to stand down and continued with her work. "I agree, Wrex. And I want to make sure that we go about this the right way. So, can you please take a deep breath? For me?"

Wrex narrowed his eyes. "And what, exactly, is the 'right way'?"

"I don't know yet, but if it's a cure to the genophage, it starts with capturing that data."

Wrex lowered his weapon. "Go on."

Corinthia cursed. "Damn it, I can't get in from here... But, briefly, cloning is not a cure. It's merely copying a living creature. So, Wrex, assuming you have the genophage and we cloned you, Wrex Number Two would have it also because it's genetic. Now, I'm not saying that the galaxy wouldn't benefit from two of you, but that doesn't fix the problem. Do you follow?"

Wrex nodded, not amused.

"So, if that's all Saren's doing, he's going to be making copies of infected krogan who were too weak to fight being captured. Their weak genetics would get into your pool and make it harder for mighty krogan like you to have adorably vicious and strong krogan babies."

"And if there is a cure?" Wrex said quietly, voice still edged like a razor. "That makes me wonder why we're fighting Saren at all. He wants to help my people."

"No, he wants to control them," Corinthia answered. "Your people are known for the stubbornness as much as their strength. Would you really bow to someone like Saren? Someone who wants to dominate and control? You follow Shepard, sure, but you're walking beside him. You're almost rivals, you know? No, if Saren found a cure, I'm taking it and we'll get it to the right people to finish and deploy. Not Saren. I bet you my annual wages that he probably built in some will-breaking or mind-controlling thingy into whatever 'cure' he came up with. Hell, he probably did it with the cloning, too. Either with chips or drugs or some stupid whatnot like that."

Wrex locked eyes with her. "So what?"

"You know that Shepard's right. He's led you this far. Give him a chance to prove that what's going on in there is wrong. If Saren's right… Well, I think you can figure out a way to defect." She smiled, easily masking how nervous she was. Wrex was her friend. She didn't want him up and leaving. Or shooting his way out, either. That would be bad. And very, very bloody.

"Let me talk to Shepard, then we'll see," Wrex finally said.

Corinthia nodded. "Alright. Want me to get him now?"

"Whatever." Wrex went back to the water to shoot some more.

Corinthia backed away, not giving Wrex her back. "Shep, you finished?" she radioed.

"I'm right here," he replied as she bumped her back into his chest.

She looked up at him, grinning. "Oops. So, Wrex is..."

"I heard. I'll deal with it." Just as she had been listening to his conversation with Kirrahe (which had really only been the salarian begging for help with an attack on the cloning facility), he had been listening to her talk with Wrex. He was glad that her logic made some sense, at least, and that she hadn't lost the krogan in technical jargon. She could do that and he was already worried that she'd turn salarian at the drop of a hat.

Kirrahe turned to her. "Lieutenant Commander, I could use your help planning our next move."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "My rank, Kirrahe? What's up with that?"

The salarian wearily rubbed his eyes. "Please. I need the help. Your reputation for reconnaissance is unsurpassed."

She nodded. "Don't know if that's true anymore, but I do have a knack for finding things out. Shep, you alright without me for a bit?"

He nodded. "It's not like I've never done a mission without you around."

She rolled her eyes. "Aw, poor baby. Lead the way, Kirrahe."

Corinthia left the with the Captain, both chattering away at nearly triple the pace as usual. Williams blinked. "Is she... speaking salarian?"

Shepard groaned. "Don't remind me..." As much as he liked the fact that she was very, very intelligent, he was not looking forward to the ramifications of her going into 'technical mode'.

"Does she have to do that?" Williams said.

"Do what?" Alenko asked.

"Show off for the skip."

"She's not," Shepard muttered. "She's in her element."

"What are you talking about?"

"Being a total, complete, and utter nerd," he spat. "She's going to be speaking in complete technical gibberish for the next three weeks and I'm going to have to deal with all of it."

"I just dealt with it, sir," Williams put in. "It wasn't pretty."

"No, it wasn't," Shepard echoed.

"Huh, wouldn't get that from her tendency to say, 'ooh, shiny'," Alenko mused.

"You have no idea how smart she really is because she holds it back," Shepard explained. "You just don't see her when she's getting giddy about something like this. She's probably going to be excited about this mission because she's working with the STG again."

Williams rolled her eyes. "Great... Now I get to deal with her hyper?"

Alenko patted her arm. "Don't worry. You won't die. I think."

"Yeah, right. I love her, but I am NOT putting up with that. Skip, it's all on you." Williams clapped him on the shoulder. "Good luck, send me a vid with how it goes, I'll be back on the _Normandy _avoiding the fallout."

Alenko laughed. "Oh, come on, Ash, it's not that bad. For all we know the situation could be so bad that Ci-Ci won't even be able to crack a joke."

Williams looked at him incredulously. "Seriously? You are a thick-head sometimes, Kaidan."

"What?" he answered innocently.

Shepard ignored them, making for Wrex. Unlike Williams, Shepard got along very well with the krogan. Hell, Wrex was almost a friend. If they had to part ways, it shouldn't have been with bullets.

Wrex lowered his shotgun when Shepard approached. "Ci-Ci says you're better to follow than Saren."

"She's biased," Shepard replied, resting a hand on his pistol.

"You don't agree?"

"I don't know what the fuck is going on, Wrex, but I'm not going to let Saren get his hands on a goddamn krogan army. You're all tough sons of bitches to kill."

Wrex smirked. "Agreed." He eyed Shepard's pistol, noting that the safety was off. "So, is that how it's going to be?"

"That depends on you," Shepard replied, locking eyes with the krogan. "I don't want to kill you, but I will if you get in my way. The only real question is if you trust me enough to see this mission through. For all we know this place could be a front for geth production."

"The lizards don't get their information wrong very often," Wrex said.

"Neither does Ci-Ci. If she said she'd save what data she could, she will. I can't promise that I wouldn't fight against you if the krogans repeat history, but it'd be one hell of a good battle."

Wrex smirked. "Can't wait for the day that I can go head-to-head with you, Shepard." He held out his hand. "But it isn't today."

Shepard shook it. "At least not for another couple hours."

Wrex laughed. "I like you, Shepard. Better than most humans I've met."

"Someone has to be." Shepard was relieved that Wrex had decided to trust him. Maybe it was only because Shepard had given the krogan the chance to kill him later, but, either way, it was better than killing each other then and there.

"But if you get any ideas about betraying me, Shepard -"

"It won't happen."

The conversation was over. Shepard walked away, his mind now focused on everything else he would have to deal with. Firstly, if Saren really was there, then that completely changed the game. The mission was less destroy and more annihilate. Timing would be critical. They wouldn't have the luxury of doing anything extraneous.

He had a bad feeling about the planet. Though beautiful, his gut was clenching like he was on Torfan again. The air was electrified, making his hair stand on end - or was he just apprehensive? He cracked his knuckles, not particularly keen on finding out. If he was right, then they were all in for one hell of a ride. Saren wasn't to be taken lightly. Even if Shepard wanted the killing shot - revenge for the bastard almost killing Corinthia - he would settle for anyone taking it.

Thunder steadily boomed in the distance, mingled with the garbled, echoing, electronic voices of the geth. It was like a requiem for everyone its notes landed upon. Corinthia had her omni-tool out and was pursing a lip as she analyzed the area. When she caught Shepard's eye, she looked genuinely worried; hell, she didn't even attempt to smile. If she was that concerned about a mission, then the entire crew was clusterfucked.

"Commander?" Liara asked softly.

"What?" he snapped, so on edge that his biotic flared around his fists. He hadn't heard the asari come up. "Now is not a good time, T'Soni."

She wilted and backed away. "You look unwell. I was simply concerned."

"Save it for after the mission."

"I... I understand. I, too, feel it." She put a hand on his elbow reassuringly. "I am confident that we will succeed. We have, against greater odds."

He shook away her touch. "Trying to read me again?"

"Hardly. I am merely stating my optimism."

"Tell it to someone who cares."

Shepard still hadn't forgiven her for breaking into his mind. Fact was that it had only made things worse, from his perspective. And he didn't intend to let her get anywhere near him again.

"I - I'm sorry - "

"Fuck off, Liara."

The asari quickly left, feeling hurt. She understood that he was a deeply private man, but she only wished to help. As naive as she was, she understood very well why he was annoyed with her. She made a mental note to find another way to aid him.

Kirrahe frowned. "He seems volatile."

Corinthia kept her focus on the map before her. Small blocks darted about, simulating the various attack schematics she had programmed. None looked very good for their teams.

"Don't write him off just yet," she murmured. "He's the best at what he does."

"And what is that?"

"Doing the impossible."

"I don't trust him."

"I do. You trust me, so therefore you trust him. Something's just rubbing him wrong right now."

"Damn right," Shepard said, leaning next to her. "What's all this shit?"

"Bad plans," she replied, waving her omni-tool. The blocks vanished. "I just had to check to make sure that there wasn't anything better."

"Better than what?"

Kirrahe crossed his arms. "Ci-Ci has proposed a two-pronged attack. A decoy assault on the front gates of the facility and the true infiltration behind the lines. There is a side door -"

"We're going with it," Shepard interrupted, not even bothering to watch the map as Corinthia reprogrammed it to show the plan. "I go behind the lines. You be the decoys."

"My thoughts exactly," Kirrahe replied, "but I will need help. My team isn't well-enough manned and we will need to split the diversion into at least another team. My executive officers have been killed and no one has the appropriate experience or charisma for the job."

"And you want Ci-Ci," Shepard finished.

"She would be ideal, but any member of your crew would suffice."

"Alenko and Williams volunteered," Corinthia added. "I asked them while you were talking to Wrex. They're both up for it."

"There is also the matter of destroying the facility itself," Kirrahe continued. "You will need to deploy a nuclear weapon. With my team engaged, I can't spare a tech expert for the job."

Shepard glanced at Corinthia. "You just wanted the biggest gun possible, didn't you?"

She grinned, but there wasn't any happiness behind it. "Yep!"

He sighed. "Fine. I don't care who goes with you, Kirrahe. Pick one of them." His brusqueness was masking his worry. The fact was that he wanted nothing more than to keep Corinthia safe and away from all of the madness that this battle would bring.

It was a damned stupid and impulsive thought, so he tried to dismiss it. It wasn't easy, though. He could still see her, a frown etched between her brows. Williams and Alenko were at her side, being briefed on the plan. Tali and Liara were helping the salarians recoup by fixing equipment and administering basic first aid. Wrex was still pacing, but at least he had holstered his weapon, and Garrus had found himself a bird's nest to keep an eye on Saren's ship.

The argument between Williams and Alenko began getting louder. Neither was willing to let the other take command with Kirrahe. Although grateful to have two people desperate for a job like that, Shepard wasn't about to have any of that.

Corinthia slammed her hand down. "STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" she shouted.

Alenko and Williams looked at her in shock.

"Is she... angry?" Alenko asked quietly.

Williams nodded in disbelief. "Yep, think so."

Corinthia glared at them both. "Honestly, I'm happy you're both eager to put your lives on the line, but this is ridiculous. Ash, you go with Kirrahe. Kaidan, I'm sure Shep is going to want you on his team. Kirrahe, do you want anyone else from our guys with you?"

"No. Chief Williams will be sufficient. Any one else would be superfluous," Kirrahe replied.

"Fine. That's settled." Corinthia stepped back. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to see to that nuke."

Williams released a slow breath. "I don't like her when she's mad."

"At least it wasn't Shepard yelling," Alenko observed.

"He's always yelling."

"Maybe at you." Alenko ducked her punch. "Oh, c'mon, Ash, lighten up."

"Don't think it's a good time for that," she replied, going back to the map.

Shepard caught Corinthia as she passed. "We need to talk."

She raised an eyebrow. "Alright..." She wasn't sure what he was about to do, but she still followed him. Whenever he led her somewhere, a type of romantic interlude followed, but there was no way he could have that in mind right then; he was too tense.

However, he only took her to the edge of camp, where they were mostly alone. A salarian was within eyesight, but not earshot, and he was busy fixing some type of complicated equipment.

"Saren is here," Shepard started.

"I know," Corinthia answered. "I saw the ship."

"Then you should know how I feel about this whole damn mission." He wanted to touch her, but another salarian was walking by. Fucking reptiles, getting in the way...

Corinthia took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. "Yeah, I know already... I'm going to be careful, don't worry."

"Not good enough."

"What else am I supposed to do? Stay on the _Normandy_?"

Shepard remained silent. That was exactly what he wanted. The loss of leaving her behind was minimal, especially since Garrus and Tali worked so well together that they may as well have been one person. In fact, they were both a little better at their jobs than Corinthia, since neither had to multi-task, Garrus was one of the best snipers that Shepard had ever encountered, and Tali was fantastic at hacking the geth.

Corinthia blinked. "You... Shep, you can't do that, not today. EVERYONE has to be in on this or else... God, I don't even want to think about it."

He shook his head. "Today we're taking a small team and I'm sure as hell not leaving you alone to set that nuke."

"Because I'm going to be attacked from all sides, right?"

"The odds have not been in our favor in the past," he muttered, glancing around at the salarians. "Can't remember the last time I had a mission that didn't have me firing my gun."

She laughed. "You'd also just shoot your gun off because you hadn't."

"True." Finally alone, he grabbed her and dragged her to his chest. She squeaked in shock, but relaxed after a moment and held him back.

"Geez, John, relax a little. Saren's tough, but it could be worse, you know? If we look at this as anything other than just another mission it's going to be as bad as you think."

"Well, you can relax," he muttered, pressing his lips against her temple. "I won't until this place is blown to hell and Saren is dead."

"So in six hours." She grinned.

"It's not going to work," he answered, "and I'm not even going to hope for that good of luck."

She slipped her hand into his, squeezing gently. He interlaced her fingers with his, causing her to wince in pain as he tightened his grip, and led her to a more secluded area. Whenever he did this, he usually swept her into a bone-crushing hug or dizzying kiss, but instead he just stared at their hands. Corinthia's stomach started to tie into knots. She didn't like how he was just standing there, indecisive and mute. It wasn't like him at all.

"If you won't hope, then I will," she reassured him. "I'm the optimist, right? We have to look on the bright side. We've got help on this one. We'll make it out, relatively unscathed. Why are you so worried? It's just another mission. The only difference is that we know Saren's here."

Shepard shook his head, finally loosing his grip on her hands. "I just want you safe."

She sighed. As endearing as his protectiveness was, it was wearing her nerves. "Safe is all relative. We'll be luckier than Jesus if we all make it out of here alive."

"Jesus?"

"Well, you know… Him being the son of God and all… He was resurrected, lived forty days without food or water, you know…"

"I thought Christianity had been disproven."

"They haven't decided how to deal with the other species in the galaxy, but they're trying. If you want a religious discussion, we can do it later. The point is that we're going to need some kind of über supernatural power on our side if we all want to be alive at the end of this."

He put his forehead against hers. It was taking all of his self-control to stay gentle because all he wanted to do was throw her on the ground and ravish her while he had a chance. He couldn't even bring himself to kiss her for fear he'd hurt her.

"I think that one's on you," he said quietly. "You're the one that's turning me into a pussy. That takes some kind of magic."

She giggled. "Or maybe you've always been a good guy and were just too afraid to show it."

He thought for a moment. "No, it's you. It's definitely you."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not doing it on purpose! Promise! I —"

Unable to resist any longer (not to mention that he was damn tired of hearing her talk), he crushed his lips against hers. Aside from her usual squeak of protest and surprise whenever he assaulted her like that, her fingers dug into his hands and she kissed him back with uncharacteristic hunger. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't hide just how nervous she was.

Alenko coughed. "Sir, Kirrahe's ready to move out whenever you are."

Shepard drew away from Corinthia with great reluctance. "Alright... Let's get this fucker."


	26. Virmire

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>27 June 2183—Cloning Laboratory, Virmire, Hoc System, Voyager Cluster<strong>

Corinthia opened the computer, deftly linking it to her omni-tool. Behind her, Wrex paced, shotgun in hand and ready to kill them all when he found out for sure that Saren had made a cure of the genophage.

Shepard, Alenko, and Liara watched the door. Garrus and Tali had stayed aboard the _Normandy_ to prep the nuke and keep an eye on the scene. Williams had gone with Kirrahe's second team, though by the sound of things it wasn't going well.

"Ci-Ci, hurry up," Shepard growled. As loathe as he was to admit it, he was worried about Williams. Her transmissions were getting worse the longer her team fought. He should've let Garrus and Tali go with her, but Kirrahe had assured him that they were alright. Damned reptile, not knowing what the fuck he was talking about.

Cornithia stepped back from the console. "Well, Wrex, I've got good news and bad news..."

Alenko exchanged looks with Liara and Shepard. All three of them readied their biotics, ready to restrain Wrex.

The krogan stiffened, slowly turning to face Corinthia. "Careful, Ci-Ci," he warned. "I'd hate to have to kill you."

She held up her omni-tool. "The bad news is that Saren was only cloning krogan, so every last one we see still has the genophage, and it looks like a bit of. The good news is that the researchers here had started fiddling with cures and I've got all of that data now. It'll get to the right people, Wrex."

Wrex narrowed his eyes. "You'd better be right, Ci-Ci..."

"I _like_ krogan. I'm not going to screw you over just because you can be scary sometimes." She patted his arm and made him lower his shotgun. "So, why don't we just get rid of all the weak krogan clones before they make your people weaker, hm?"

Wrex grinned deviously. "I'll personally disembowel every last one of them."

Although the situation with Wrex had been difused, Shepard was more tense than ever. "We need to keep moving," he muttered.

Alenko nodded. "Williams is getting torn to pieces. We should hurry."

Corinthia's omni-tool beeped. She frowned. "That's... I'm picking up... It can't be..." Without another word, she darted off through one of the doors. Shepard sprinted after her without another thought.

"Cassie!" he shouted.

"_There's a beacon here,_" she panted over the radio. _"You all can go ahead, but I have to see this thing for myself._"

Shepard's stomach lurched. If she actually wanted to see what he had, then he had to stop her. He couldn't let that happen. "Like hell," he answered, speeding up and attempting to catch up to her, but she was too quick.

He found her standing before the beacon. Unlike the one on Eden Prime, it was intact and, to his horror, already functioning. She glanced back at him.

"Can't make heads or tails of this thing," she told him. "What about you?"

He took a spot next to her, eyes scanning over the selection. Even though it wasn't in English, he understood every last word of it. It was a connection to... something.

"No! Don't touch that!" he snapped, right as Corinthia's fingers flicked over the button to turn it on. Instinctively, he grabbed her to shield her from whatever else would happen, but the beacon only flickered and pulsed with light.

She released a long breath. "Oops..."

Shepard's focus, though, wasn't on her; it was on the red holo-image that was now floating before them: Saren's ship. Why would a Prothean beacon connect to that?

"_Shepard_," the ship said.

"What the fuck...?" he breathed.

"_I have been watching you. You are becoming tiresome_."

Something cold crept up Shepard's spine. He knew that voice, from his nightmares. It was the voice of the Reapers.

His eyes widened. Saren wasn't just working for the Reapers; he was travelling around in one. The ship _was_ a Reaper.

Even with his arms still around her, Cornithia shivered. She knew better than to voice her fears, but she wanted to more than anything. His grip tightened so much on her shoulders that she could feel it through her armor. The ship was _talking_. She'd heard of AIs other than the geth before, but this was something else... And she was afraid. If she didn't know any better, Shepard was, too.

"_You're afraid. You should be,_" the ship continued.

"What are you?" Shepard demanded.

"_I am Sovereign. We are the Reapers._"

Shepard frowned. "And what the fuck is that?"

_"I am your doom. We came before."_

"But you're a machine," Corinthia murmured.

_"We are more than that. We are alive. You cannot understand. Your minds are incapable of comprehending._"

Corinthia examined the holo. "A species of machines... Organic machines..." She swallowed hard, trying to imagine how that was even possible. It was the only explanation for what they were, for what Shepard had described. If it wasn't a ship, it had to be something living...

_"You and your galaxy will fall._"

Shepard raised his gun, pointing it directly at Sovereign. "It may not do a damn thing to shoot you like this, but I'll sure feel better. You're starting to get under my skin."

The Reaper laughed, making Shepard and Corinthia both shiver. _"You fools. You can't even begin to understand what you face. You cannot stop us. Your destruction is at hand."_

The visions were beginning to make sense. Cornithia extracted herself from Shepard's grip.

"And why, exactly, are you destroying us?" she asked, hiding her fear. "What have we done?"

_"It is the Cycle. Your kind has had its time. Now it is ours. You are pathetic. You cannot fight us. You cannot stop us._"

"But we're sure as hell going to try. So, fuck off." Shepard shot the controls of the beacon, ending the transmission. His hands were shaking. To actually talk to a Reaper, know that his visions weren't based on nothing...

Corinthia's fingers enclosed over his, pushing his weapon down to his side. She didn't say anything. What could she say? They were fighting... monsters. Something they couldn't understand.

"On the bright side," she said, trying to sound cheerful, "now we know you're not crazy, right?"

Liara coughed. "It would seem that our enemies were the same ones the Protheans faced..."

Shepard shouldn't have been surprised that the others had arrived, but he still spun around to face them. Every last one of them was pale (well, except Wrex). They all seemed to understand just what it was they were facing, now. Saren was just the beginning; a lackey, nothing more. Now they knew their real enemies.

"Glad I didn't have to kill you, Shepard," Wrex growled. "Looks like the fight's coming to you. And I want to be there when it hits."

Shepard didn't have time to be grateful. His radio beeped with a distress call.

"_Shepard, where are you_?" Williams radioed in a panic. _"Things are getting messy down here. I need backup!"_

Shepard glanced at Corinthia. The next stage of the plan was up to her. He didn't want to leave her — hell, she was still in his arms — but if he had to he would. Williams was a part of his team. If she needed help, he'd give it if he could.

"Leave me with Wrex," she said. "He can help me get to the deployment site and Garrus, Tali, and I can take it from there." She gave him a reassuring smile.

He wasn't convinced. "If I lose you..."

"You won't," she said sternly. She glanced at the console before opening her omni-tool once more. "Get going. We can handle it from here."

"If you fry your omni-tool trying to reclaim that data..." he warned.

"I know better than that." Suddenly, she started kicking at the paneling. Once dented enough that she could remove it, she reached inside the beacon and pulled out some of the components. "I'll just take it with me for later."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Is that even going to wo — Cassie, why the fuck are you gathering shit like that right now?!"

She went past him, juggling the Prothean artifacts in her arms. "Because I'm less than half a klick away from the bomb site and I'm not passing his up. If Saren was after it, I want to know why. You just worry about Williams. I'll worry about blowing this place into dust."

Shepard nodded, although his gut clenched. So far, the mission had been too easy, even with Williams and Kirrahe pinned down. Where was Saren?

"Be careful," Shepard murmured.

Even if they couldn't see much more than each other's eyes through their visors, she smile reassuringly. "Always."

* * *

><p>Williams barely made it into cover in time. A geth colossus's particle cannon pulverized the spot she'd been standing in just a heartbeat before.<p>

"Damn it, where's Shepard?" she panted, checking her assault rifle. It had been overheating more than usual and this was the worst time for any of that to happen. Of the fifty salarians who began at her side, only ten were left. And the count was dropping by the minute.

"_Shepard, we've got the nuke set,_" Corinthia radioed. _"We've got some geth, but we can handle it for now. Wrex is staying here. When we've cleared the area, we'll meet you by Williams. Or somewhere closer to the _Normandy_._"

"Thank God," Williams said. "Shepard, please tell me you're close."

Around them, the geth started falling as Shepard's team arrived. Alenko was pot-shoting whatever geth Liara lifted. Shepard used his biotics to charge into geth groups and, for all intents and purposes, destroying them like a child would a disliked toy. Williams heart raced with hope. She hadn't liked Shepard as a friend, but she was damned happy to see him.

"Shepard! You beautiful man!" she shouted, grinning.

"Stay down!" Shepard shouted, diving into cover before he was shot in the head. "Where the fuck did all the geth come from?!"

"_You're telling me_," Corinthia radioed. They could hear her sucking in air, not to mention the gunfire around her. _"More are arriving by the minute. We're... gonna try to get to you. That's where Joker's going anyway, right?"_

For just a few minutes, Shepard had thought that things were going to end well, but now fear was creeping into his heart. It was stupid that she was the only thing that could make him afraid, especially when he was in a situation when he couldn't save her.

"Get your ass moving, then," he ordered.

"_Yeah, yeah, on it already, Shep. I don't like being ankle-deep in water with a nuke right beside me_."

Alenko ducked down next to Shepard. "It doesn't look good, Commander. More are coming by the second. We can't get evac until we clear the place for Joker."

"That damn cripple isn't worth shit," Shepard growled.

_"Don't say things like that, Shep! You know he's good!" _Corinthia radioed. She sounded perky, at least, so that was a good sign. There was also significantly less gunfire around her. "_I've got Wrex, Garrus, and Tali with me. We're all fine, everything's ship-shape, ad nauseum._"

"Just hurry up," Shepard commanded, his stomach churning with unease. The more geth that appeared, the more certain he was that Saren would rear his head. Cowards like that only came when they had an army to keep them safe.

Almost on cue, the turian appeared. Shepard's heart almost stopped to see his enemy in the flesh. Well, most of it. Now that Saren wasn' a hologram, Shepard could see that the turian was just as much machine as he was organic. He rode a hovering platform, arms clasped behind his back like an admiral watching his troops march by. He'd be monologuing in a few minutes, as soon as Shepard was isolated. To do that, people would have to die.

Everyone else would have to die.

"Shit, is that Saren?" Alenko breathed.

"Joker, get down here, now," Shepard hissed.

_"I would, but those guns —"_

"FUCK THE GUNS! You're in a goddamn battleship! Get the shields up and get your crippled ass over here!"

"_I've got the guns, Shep!"_ Corinthia interrupted. "_Garrus and Wrex have Tali and I covered. ETA five minutes._"

"Make it two," Shepard answered.

"_Three._"

"We aren't negotiat —" Shepard stopped himself before they started a lover's quarrel in the middle of a battlefield. He was Commander Fucking Shepard and, girlfriend or not, she had to remember that.

"_I'll be there as soon as I can,_" she said softly. _"We're climbing the turrets right now._"

Williams raised her head to see where Shepard was, but had to duck down as the geth peppered her with fire. She was pinned down. It had happened before and she'd gotten out of it alive; Shepard had shown up and saved her ass on Eden Prime. He could do it again. No, he would do it again. He had to.

"Shepard!" Williams shouted. Another wave of geth was flanking them and would negate her cover entirely.

Shepard was fixated on Saren. The world had slowed and muted. The edges of his vision blurred and darkened, focusing on the face of the turian. That bastard had tried to murder Cassie. Had forced nightmares into Shepard's head. Made him run across the galaxy on a wild goose chase. Cornered him in the middle of fucking nowhere.

He'd never taken threats lightly, even if they were from worthless, incompetent maggots. But the Spectre before him was the best agent the galaxy had ever seen. A legend, even amongst humans, and now Shepard was trying to put a bullet in the turian's brain. Or whatever was left of it, after Sovereign had twisted it. If Sovereign had twisted it at all.

Saren locked eyes with Shepard.

"So, we meet at last, Commander," the turian said quietly.

The words rang out, loud and clear through the air. The geth stopped firing, retreating to wait.

Shepard's anger was building, but he had enough sense to check that his shields were full before straightening. Alenko tried to stop him, but Shepard was determined to look Saren dead in the eye.

_"What's going on down there? The geth have stopped_," Corinthia murmured.

_"_It's Saren," Alenko answered. "I've gotta get Williams some help."

"_I am on it,_" Liara murmured into the radio. _"I can see her from my position. There are only a few salarians left beside her. It does not look good._"

"_Is she hurt_?" Corinthia asked, signalling to Tali and Garrus that they needed to hurry up. _"Shep, I'm finished on my —"_

"Shut the fuck up, Corinthia," he hissed. He hadn't called her that for years, not since after he got to know her, but he had to forget that she was close to him. His head jerked when the radio crackled and went out. Even if it was Corinthia just trying to keep him focused so she could organize behind him, it only made things worse because now he couldn't hear her.

"_Sorry, Shep, hit the cut off instead of the mute_," she whispered. _"You're still linked to me, so you can hear me, don't worry. I'll keep track of everyone else, though._"

His heart calmed, but her voice had broken his focus, forcing out his murderous rage and replacing it with spine-chilling fear that he'd lose her again.

"The second the _Normandy _gets here, I want you on it," he said, his voice softer than it ever had been. "If..."

"_Shut up, John," _she ordered. _"There are no 'ifs'. I'll see you at home_."

Shepard put away his assault rifle and drew his pistol. They had their new target:Sovereign. Killing Saren would only slow it down, whatever it was planning, but whatever they did, it would be a start. He only needed one good shot. Saren wasn't a biotic, although his shields would have to be good.

"Can you hack him, Ci-Ci?"

"_I can try._"

"Good. Because if he shoots me in the head, I'm not sure mouth-to-mouth will work." He took a deep breath and stepped out of cover. As expected, Saren took a shot at him, but Corinthia had been fiddling with Shepard's shields and the shots just brushed right off.

Saren looked Shepard up and down. "I thought you'd be taller."

"I thought you'd be crazier," Shepard replied. Even if his focus was on Saren, his senses were on the entire periphery.

The turian mirthlessly chuckled. "You don't have the least idea of what's happening here. You're blind."

"And you were enlightened?" Shepard gripped his pistol, flicking off the safety. "I have the same fucking messages you do. And guess what? I'm fighting back. And so far I'm winning."

Something in Saren's expression flickered as he locked eyes with Shepard, but all the Commander could see was how the turian's eyes weren't even organic anymore; just some eerily bright blue cybernetics.

"The Reapers cannot be stopped," Saren said quietly, the edge gone from his voice. "We cannot fight them."

"Like hell we can't. You just need a big enough gun." Shepard took aim between Saren's eyes. "Or just have damn good aim."

Shepard didn't expect the shot to hit Saren at all, but it was worth a try. The barriers were too powerful.

"Commander, I'm disappointed," Saren chided. "Did you really think it would be that easy?"

Shepard shrugged. "Well, it was worth a shot." With that, he flung a singularity directly at Saren. The turian's platform shuddered a little as he tried to pull away, hopefully giving Corinthia the necessary opportunity to hack into it and disable it. Saren cursed and drew his pistol.

"CASSIE!" Shepard shouted, not out of worry, but just to make her work more quickly.

He heard something crash behind him, followed directly by the geth's garbled communication warble. Corinthia cursed loudly and, after a few shots, the geth stopped making sounds. A few seconds later, Saren's platform started wobbling dangerously.

"Look out!" Corinthia shouted, tackling Shepard. Shots flew above their heads as the geth closed in. Shepard rolled to protect her with his body, shields, and biotics. He could hear Saren escaping, but at least she was alive.

As he expected, her omni-tool was still open and she was working to try and keep connected to Saren. "Damn it!" she muttered. "Joker! Hurry up. Please!"

_"Almost there, Ci-Ci._" Joker answered. _"Two minutes_."

That short amount of time could last a lifetime, especially in a gunfight. Shepard was back-to-back with Corinthia, throwing geth away with his biotics while she hacked the area around them. Garrus picked them off from his perch. Tali and her drone had taken control of a colossus and were using it to destroy anything they could. Wrex and Alenko used their biotics to charge into group after group of enemies, disabled pieces of the AIs flying everywhere.

"Where're Liara and Williams?" Corinthia panted.

"Who the fuck cares?" Shepard answered. "Where's Saren?"

"I can't track him and keep the rest of them away, you know?" she snapped. "Pick one: us alive or him found."

It wasn't a hard choice, but Shepard wouldn't let Saren go so easily. "You've got two minutes, Cassie."

She took a deep breath and opened her omni-tool. Tracking Saren was as simple as plotting the easiest course back to Sovereign. She caught the location of his platform, but it was so close to the Reaper that their signals were mingling. "He's almost to Sovereign. I'm not sure we can get to him in time."

He was annoyed, to say the least, but he was more concerned about getting out of there alive. A wall of geth approached and he was isolated with Corinthia. The only thing he could do was to push his biotics farther and farther. With every field, his head reeled. He could feel his amp heating up by the moment. Blood dripped out of his nose, mingling with his sweat. He could taste it, copper and salt.

The _Normandy_ soared into view. "_I'm gonna fire on the geth,_" Joker said.

"Barriers up!" Corinthia ordered, edging closer to Shepard.

The Commander nodded, one arm encircling her chest and drawing her against him as he put up the barrier. His muscles were shaking from exertion and he knew the barrier wasn't worth anything. Corinthia put her hand on his armor. With a crackle of electricity, she revamped his shields.

"Do it now, Joker. The barrier can't hold against all this fire," she said.

.The _Normandy _flipped around, the gangplank dropping right in front of Shepard and Corinthia. He practically threw her aboard, jumping up after her. He had to grab onto the cargo netting for support as Joker swung around to let Alenko, Wrex, Tali, Liara, and Garrus aboard. They all scrambled towards the elevator, glad to be out of the line of fire. As the _Normandy _continued along its path, Kirrahe and his team came aboard.

"Shepard, I'm glad your mission was a success," the salarian greeted.

Shepard nodded, although he was thinking anything but that. Saren was still alive. To Shepard, that was a failure on every front.

"Where's Williams?" Corinthia asked.

Shepard scanned the field, finding the Chief pinned down between two groups of geth. They could get to her, but it wouldn't be easy to get her out. The _Normandy_ didn't have rigs to draw people up like that. She'd had her uses, but she could be replaced easily enough, like any soldier. She had replaced What's-his-face from Eden Prime. There would be another one to take her place afterwards. There always was.

But finding one was the hard part. He'd been lucky that he'd just turned around and gotten another squadmate on Eden Prime. He had too many people for his squad as it was, but still...

Shepard checked his omni-tool. Detonation for the nuke was two minutes away. There might be time to get her... Might. Saren was out of reach. The cloning facility was and Corinthia were at his side, sniper rifles out and picking off the geth one by one.

Wrex cracked his knuckles. "Want me to jump in and get her, Shepard?"

In that moment, his gut told him that they needed to leave. Sovereign was drawing away with a bone-chilling blare — that dreadful noise that haunted his dreams. Saren was on the Reaper. Saren needed to die. He needed to die more than Williams needed to live.

"We have to move now," Garrus said, firing. "I'm clearing you a path, Wrex."

_"No, there isn't time,_" Williams radioed, her voice steady and strong, even though her heart was racing in fear. _"Get out of here. Go on! I knew what I signed up. I knew what was coming._"

"Don't talk like that, Ash," Alenko answered. "We're coming in for you."

_"No!_"

"Commander!" Alenko demanded. "We can't just leave her there!"

There was only one decision Shepard could make.

"We leave," Shepard said quietly.

Everyone rounded on him to stare at him.

"What?!" Corinthia gasped.

"Leave her," Shepard clarified, his tone just as uncompromising as before.

"No," Alenko argued. "That's not our code —"

"I don't give a fuck about some goddamn unspoken code. It's either save her and die and let Saren win or leave her and get that bastard. Joker! Get us out of here!"

Below, Williams looked up at the _Normandy_. Wrex was ready to jump in after her. Corinthia and Garrus had taken out enough geth that Williams could maybe get closer. But that didn't matter. She understood only too well that she was expendable and Shepard was not. Sure, there was a chance to save her, but it was too slim. Did she want to live? Yes. Did she want Saren dead? Even more so. A real soldier knew when sacrifice was necessary; this was the time for it.

"_Do as Shepard says,_" she radioed. "_I'm not that important_."

Even Wrex was moving against Shepard's orders, going to help. No one was going to let Williams die, even though she was more than willing to.

"No," Corinthian said. "We're getting out of here alive. All of us. Get up on that crate and Wrex will grab you."

Shepard wanted to shout that there was no time, but no one would listen. He'd gotten himself a team of heroes, every last one of them. That meant that he'd have to be one, too. He gritted his teeth, sure he would regret not just flying away.

"_Ci-Ci —_" Williams tried to argue.

"Shut up, Ash. I'm not going to let you die like this, hero or not," Corinthia retorted.

"God damn it. This is why I didn't make friends," Shepard muttered. He stepped forward, pushing past Wrex and Corinthia so that he could jump down to get Williams.

With little other choice, Williams let the rescue attempt carry through. Inwardly, she was grateful that they'd all fight for her, even if it was a stupid move. She scrambled up onto the crates serving as cover, picking off what geth she could as Joker maneuvered the _Normandy _closer. She could feel the heat of the engines through her armor. She glanced away from her enemies, hoping that Shepard was near enough to get to her. He was, hand outstretched. She grabbed him. His fingers locked around her wrist.

"Go!" he shouted. "I've got her!"

For a moment, he felt the thrill of being a hero. Why there were idiots that did the right thing at all times. People like Cassie, how she must have felt whenever she did something nice.

The _Normandy_ drew away, pulling Williams with them. Shepard grunted with exertion, dragging her up. How could a woman weigh so damn much? Williams wasn't even trying to help. She wasn't even holding onto him...

He didn't have to hear Corinthia scream to know what had happened, why Willimas had gone limp. His elation vanished, replaced with the emptiness he was used to, that cold apathy that had given him his edge for his entire life. Without another word, he dropped Williams's body. They didn't have room for a dead body aboard.

The cargo hold closed with a hiss. _"Everyone hang on. We've gotta outrun that nuke," _Joker said, oblivious to what had just happened.

Shepard slowly removed his helmet and got to his feet. He could feel the eyes of everyone in the area, watching him, none able to believe what had just happened, that he'd just let her go. They didn't understand the cost of war. They didn't understand him.

"Anyone hurt?" Garrus called.

Alenko shook his head. "Nothing that can't be repaired..."

"At least for those of us here," Corinthia muttered, violently brushing past Shepard on the way to her locker. She tore off her helmet and armor.

_"Did we get her?" _Joker asked.

"Man down," Alenko answered quietly.

The ship fell silent, as if waiting for Shepard to speak. He didn't have anything to say, though. Death was part of war. Would they expect a speech for some yeoman? No one had cared when the other one had died in Eden Prime. Gaskins? Jingle? Who gave a fuck? He'd been stupid and had paid the price.

But Williams was not. She had done what she knew was right, what Shepard would have asked her and anyone (except Corinthia) to do. Worse, he didn't feel guilty. He'd ordered what he'd had to. She had agreed. Then he went out of hi way to save her and for what? Another dead body.

"Ashley was a good soldier," he said, knowing the whole of the _Normandy_ was waiting for those words. They came out, but they were hollow. The only one that would hear and know that would be Corinthia. "But we keep fighting. She's just the first of many."

"Too many," Alenko added.

After a long moment, Shepard went to his locker and began to change into his casual uniform. Corinthia was still there, in her undershirt and skin-tight shorts, staring at her helmet as if she were trying to bore a hole into it. If she was angry or sad, he couldn't tell. She only cried in his arms, anyway.

"Gonna blame me?" he asked quietly.

"No, sir," she answered curtly.

"Don't do this to me, Cassie," he whispered. "Please..."

"We're not having this conversation, not here and not now." She glared at him, grabbing her pants and storming off barefoot.

Shepard groaned. Of course she'd be pissed. He'd ordered them to leave a member of the crew behind, even though said crewmember had practically asked for it. He didn't really give a fuck about Williams, nor had he ever, but he'd still tried to save her because Corinthia had wanted it. So much for being good paying off. He couldn't do anything to please her. Why did he have to fall for her before this whole thing and not after?

_"We're clear of the Mass Relay, en route to the Citadel,_" Joker updated. After a moment, he added, "_Uh, Commander? The Council's calling. They want to talk to you."_

"Tell them to fuck off."

_"Will do — Oh, wait. Nevermind. Ci-Ci's taking it._"

Shepard gritted his teeth. Sometimes he felt like Corinthia was taking over the ship, but at the same time he had not desire to talk to the Council, the stuck-up bastards. So long as she didn't start a mutiny because of what just happened...

"The Chief was a good soldier," Kirrahe said as Shepard passed.

"Yeah, well, there are a lot of good soldiers," Shepard snapped, stepping into the elevator without another word. As if he wanted to talk about Williams; he would already have to do that with Corinthia as soon as she crawled into his bed. It didn't help that he was in a bad mood because Saren got away. It was that simple. To have had that goddamn turian there and escape...

There was no one to blame. That mission had been fucked from its conception. He was going to sleep, let his amp cool down, and recover. He wiped the blood away from beneath his nose. It had started to dry now, mingling in with his stubble. He'd needed to shave for three days, but had put it off for whatever stupid reason he'd thought of. Oh, right. Cassie liked him gruff.

The door to his cabin closed with a hiss. Without any further ado, Shepard climbed into the shower, hoping that the hot water would melt away the anger he was feeling. No such luck. If anything, he now felt worse.

When he stepped back into his quarters, Corinthia was there, sitting on his bed with her back to the shower. She knew very well that he generally did _not_ wear a towel out of the shower. Although, she probably didn't know that he half-way did it on purpose in an attempt to make her want him. That damn woman was going to frustrate him to death, because he wouldn't help himself when he had the real thing sleeping next to him.

"Damn it, Cassie," he muttered, reaching into his footlocker for some underwear. "Don't you knock?"

"I did," she answered, still sounding annoyed with him. There were bruises all over her skin, from where she'd taken fire. Her hair was messy and needed to be cut. Even if if liked it longer, it still looked like shit. So did she, for that matter. She hadn't been crying, though, at least from what he could guess.

"Now what?" he demanded, slipping on his briefs and stepping in front of her.

She swallowed when she saw his still glistening body. That man was gorgeous and she was quickly forgetting why she'd come in. "I talked to the Council."

"I know. Joker told me." He crossed his arms. "And?"

"I told them the truth. She volunteered to stay behind so we could escape," Corinthia said quietly. "And that you decided to save her, anyway. She was killed as we pulled away. She'll be remembered as a hero."

Shepard locked the door and muted the comm before anyone else could interrupt. "Am I supposed to thank you for that?" He didn't mean to be so harsh, but that was how the words were escaping. He couldn't tell if she was distraught, angry, annoyed, or what. She was always the hardest to read when she was _really_ feeling something.

Her eyes narrowed as she locked gazes with him. "It's going to be suggested that you left her to die. That you dropped her instead of hauling her in." Corinthia took a deep breath. "But I saw her shot. I saw..." She forced her eyes shut, not enjoying the memory. "She didn't scream on the way down. Her vitals were flat. H-her head..."

Shepard joined her on the bed, threading his fingers with hers. Her grip was limp, though, because she was still mad at him. Or perhaps because she really was shaken. She'd been the one to assign Williams to Kirrahe's team. She'd made the call and then Williams got cornered for it. Anyone else might have... There was no way to know, but Williams had been very, very good and was only cornered in situations where the only escape was death.

Corinthia's shoulders started shaking as she tried to hold back tears. Shepard instantly put his arms around her and put her head against his chest. She clung to him, dragging her knees up so that she could curl up in his lap. His fingers threaded through her hair, catching in the mats and dried blood. Her sobs caught at the pain, but then only came in stronger floods.

Shepard hadn't had any idea that she'd cared that much about Williams. To make matters worse, he was feeling nothing but jealousy about the fact that she had other people she cared about, that she'd cry for anyone else.

"You and Williams were close?" he asked, trying to sound sympathetic, despite how his gut was clenching in envy.

"N-n-no..." She sniffed and wiped her eyes. Shepard helped her out, although only for the excuse to touch her cheeks. "W-we got a-along, b-but... It's l-like..."

He knew where she was going. Even if he wasn't sure why he could remember her after the Blitz, especially because the party afterwards had been so fantastic, he knew that she only cried like this when someone she cared about died. Whenever she talked about her father or her mother, whenever she mourned them... If she was feeling vulnerable enough to mourn them.

"Like when your father died," he finished for her.

She nodded, clinging to him all the more.

He'd never been good at the comfort shit, but he had a feeling that his alternate method (kissing her into submission) would not go over well. At least, the rough kind of kiss, the kind that was full of need and not affection. His emotions were tangled up inside him, sticking in his throat and bitter on his tongue. He wasn't sure what they were, even, beyond a terrible, vital need to see her happy again. His heart sank as he realized he may not have been able to fix her.

It took him a moment, but he managed to make her raise her chin enough that he could kiss her. Since he couldn't talk to her, he could make her feel just how much he did. About her, at least. She was returning his kiss with an almost desperate need, her hands going up to hold his face. Her fingers dug into his temples and her tongue probed into his mouth, even if she still didn't know exactly how to kiss him like that.

He pulled away, his breath ragged. "Cassie, you're... I can't..." Damn it, he wanted her so much, but he couldn't take advantage of her like that. He met her eyes, hoping he'd understand. "Unless you're ready to give all of yourself to me, don't kiss me like that. I can't control myself, especially because I know you need me right now." He couldn't believe he was saying it, but he added, "And you don't need me like that, not yet. I won't do that to you." He was already regretting saying it, but he'd had to.

She sucked in a breath, nodding. "I-I'm sorry, J-John..."

He shook his head, putting a gentle kiss against her forehead. He could only hope that his self-control wouldn't snap the next time their lips met; she still hadn't put on pants. Still, he'd do his damned best and take a cold shower or five if he had to. With a sigh, he lay down on the bed, bringing her with him. He threaded his fingers through her hair, keeping his lips close to whatever skin he had near him.

"I let her fall, not you," Shepard murmured softly into her ear. "I'll deal with the consequences."

"B-b-but —"

"No arguments," he scolded. "I'm the commander, not you. People die and that's the end of it. I'll handle everything from here on out. You need to rest, to let go, and to move on."

"L-like you do," she stammered, her sobs calming a little.

"No, not like me. I never... never felt to begin with." He didn't want to talk about himself, though.

"That's not true," she murmured, her lips brushing against his throat. "You've always lov — cared about me."

His grip tightened on her shoulders. She'd caught herself, but she was still using words that he'd been trying to avoid, to never think about. That he couldn't think about, not until Saren was dead and they could actually be together.

"It doesn't matter," he rasped after a long moment. "I care now and that's enough. I care... I care more than you realize..." He damned his own lack of tact, his feeble ability to voice his thoughts and emotions — how he had ignored them for all those years, how he was too stubborn to let her inside.

But she couldn't hear him. In the time it had taken him to answer, she had drifted off into sleep, still clutching him tightly. He sighed and, with some difficulty, pulled the covers over both of them. Hopefully she'd feel better in the morning.


	27. Noveria

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>19 July 2183—Aleutsk Valley, Noveria, Horse Head Nebula, Pax System<strong>

The Mako rumbled and bumped over the rough, icy terrain. Everyone was being extra careful, so progress was far slower than usual. Williams's death sat heavy with all of them, even though weeks had passed. It was less a sense of mourning, though, and more of a cold understanding that things were far more dangerous and not as glorious as they had imagined. Getting out of this alive wouldn't be as easy as they thought.

As if to avoid another massive conflict, Corinthia hadn't left Noveria's station. Shepard needed to get to Matriarch Benezia and Corinthia could just deal with the bureaucrats for all he cared, so long as she stayed safe. She did have to talk him out of leaving Wrex, Garrus, and Alenko behind to guard her, though. Shepard was slowly become a little overzealous in his desire to protect her, from practically ordering her to wear the heaviest armor he could find to wanting to go alone to take on an asari matriarch and her commandos. Corinthia found the gesture sweet and adorable, but politely declined and stated that she would be perfectly fine if it was just her and one other person running around Port Hanshan.

So, Shepard left Wrex with her. The big turtle wasn't happy about it, either, mostly because he had been looking forward to gutting some asari. Still, bashing in the heads of salarian profiteering bureaucrats was better than staying on the _Normandy_ with Joker and listening to the pilot's extensive collection of obscure music and weird stories.

"It looks like Corinthia actually got us our garage clearance," Alenko said. He sat in the copilot chair, manning the radios and scanners.

Naturally, Corinthia had hacked the systems to get them out of the garage almost two hours before. Shepard and his crew were almost to Peak 15, where Benezia lay in wait. Well, was about to get her blue ass ambushed and kicked.

"At least we can get back in without getting shot," Garrus added with a chuckle.

Tali giggled. "Unless there are more geth waiting for us."

"That's probably going to happen, anyway, knowing our luck," Garrus replied. He leaned over, murmuring, "But don't worry, sweetheart. I've got your back."

Tali stared at him for a moment, not sure what to say. Finally, she fumbled with her omni-tool to find any way to distract herself. "I'm glad to know that you're looking out for all of us," Tali mumbled.

Liara clambered to squat between Shepard and Alenko's chairs. "If there's any way that we can spare my mother..." she began. However, she couldn't finish the sentence and pressed her lips together with a sigh.

Shepard exchanged looks with Alenko. "No promises," Shepard muttered, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. "Even if there's some kind of mind-fuck going on, Saren's dying."

Liara looked at him in confusion. "And if that is happening to my mother?"

"Uh, what Shepard means is that there are some crimes that are inexcusable," Alenko translated. "If he finds out your mother had anything to do with attacking Ci - I mean, Eden Prime or anything like that, the case to let her live isn't going to get much attention."

Liara frowned. "You mean to say that Saren will die for nearly killing Ci-Ci?"

Shepard wanted to strangle Alenko, but resisted the urge. "The bastard's done a lot of things to earn a death sentence," he growled. "Fucking up Cassie is just the best damn reason there is to make him die slowly and without a goddamn trial."

"I-I see... Would you spare my mother and let the Council try her?" Liara pressed.

"That all depends on how hard she tries to kill us."

Liara's biotics flared about her fists. "Commander, you may have not have any parents to love, but despite all that she has done, she is still my mother and I still love her. At least pretend to have the decency to respect that... relationship."

Alenko had to grab the wheel as Shepard rounded on Liara. "And you have to understand my position, T'Soni," Shepard snapped. "I've got an army of sentient organic machines waiting for any excuse to invade the galaxy, with a psychopathic Spectre and Matriarch running around helping them, and all I've got to fight them with is a ship and the people on it. I can't afford any loose ends. If she's going to help me get the bastards, then she can live. If she isn't, then she's just another liability. We can't have any of those."

"I-I understand," Liara whispered, withdrawing from him. "But I can promise you that, despite our relationship, I will remain loyal to you."

"You'd damn well better."

Garrus took a deep breath, glancing at Tali. "So... Let's just get a petition going for all of our families to be loyal to Shepard's cause and we should all be safe, right?"

Alenko and Tali burst into laughter, although Liara wasn't amused. Shepard smirked. "As long as they have guns, let them," he barked. He let the Mako roll to a stop just outside of the Peak 15 facility. "Who's ready to kick some geth ass?"

* * *

><p>Corinthia stepped back onto the <em>Normandy<em>, tearing off her helmet and sucking in air.

Joker strained his neck to look at her. "You alright, Ci-Ci?"

Wrex was laughing, his shotgun still in hand. Blood splattered his armor from some fight (though what, exactly, was hard to tell, from the mixture of colors).

"Wh... Where... is... Shepard...?" she heaved. "I'm... go... oing... to... kill... him..."

Joker raised an eyebrow. "What did he do? Make you run out to fix the Mako? They're in the facility already, you know. That's pretty far to run in an environment so damn cold."

Wrex came up next to the pilot. "No. He made her wear some of the heaviest battle armor he could get his hands on through those Spectre connections of his."

"He's picking the uniforms now? Why couldn't he pick something that actually looks good? Like a metal bikini with a cape and heels and everything like that?" Joker whined. He jerked forward when Corinthia lightly smacked him upside the head. "Hey? What did I say? You'd look good in scanty fantasy armor, you know."

"Keep those images to yourself," Corinthia ordered, although she was blushing furiously. She went to the Galaxy Map. "Pressley! Mind hooking me up to Shepard's radio?"

"Of course, Lieutenant Commander," Pressley answered. "The Commander thought that you would request that, so it's all ready for you."

"Marvelous," Corinthia murmured, stripping her gloves off. She'd get rid of the rest of the armor as they went along. "Shep! Want me to be the voice in your head?"

_"Are you on the comms?_" he replied. From the way he was breathing, he had just been running.

"Yeeeeessss... Why?"

_"Because that changes which answer I give."_

Corinthia giggled and opened her omni-tool, pressing a finger to her ear. "Now it's just you and me," she murmured. "Is that better?"

_"Yeah,"_ he replied, _"because I need you right now._"

"Uh... We're not going to have _that_ kind of conversation over the radio," she whispered.

_"Jesus Christ, Cassie, I only need you to get this place working again! The whole fucking thing is shut down by that damn matriarch and I can't get in. I need you _here_ with me. If you do much as bring up anything outside of this operation again, I swear..._"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. 'Focus, Ci-Ci'," she imitated. "Let's see what I can find..." With a flick of her fingers, she replaced the Galaxy Map with her omni-tool's interface. She glanced at Pressley. "You're... not seeing what I'm about to do," she said softly.

"I've stopped questioning your methods," he answered, chuckling. "At this point, we have to do this however we can."

"Good, because Hackett would have my shoulder bars for this." Corinthia cracked her knuckles and went to work, page after page of code appearing until, finally, she had a map of the Peak 15 facility. There were heat blooms on almost every floor. "Looks like you've got geth all over, as usual... And some other kind of organic in the ventilation system. If I'd have to guess, I'd say that you've got rachni there, too. It's like some kind of bad doomsday movie, with the robots, bugs, and weather so bad it's gonna destroy everything..."

_"Just get it done and get it done quickly,_" Shepard groaned.

"That's what she—"

_"I swear to God, Ci-Ci, that's getting old! Get this goddamn facility back online!"_

"Understood, Commander."

Joker chuckled. "I didn't think it was possible for him to get mad at you. I guess you said one too many jokes. Or maybe he's just deprived."

"Shut up, Joker," Corinthia growled. "Shepard is perfectly capable of getting mad at me."

"Alright, alright. Just saying…"

She sighed, softening slightly. Shepard snapping at her was less of him being truly frustrated (because he knew that, even as she spoke, that she was doing her job) and more of him attempting to... cover for their relationship. Even if he would gladly thumb his nose at regulation, there was a lot at stake if he was to be court martialed. Not that he would be written up for fraternization alone, but it would only add to the pile of other questionable things he had done.

Corinthia turned back to the map. "You're going to be going underground, Shep. The connection should hold, but I can't promise anything. I kinda stole the tech from Cerberus. It's really cool! It's called Quantum Entanglement."

On the other end of the connection, Shepard rolled his eyes. "You would..." Although those aboard the _Normandy_ couldn't hear it, he and his team were in the middle of a fire fight with a group of geth. With Tali hacking and Liara biotically lifting them, Garrus and Alenko could pick them off relatively easily. Shepard could actually step aside and talk to Corinthia, although by his tone he would have much rather spoken to her alone.

She, of course, didn't even realize that he was about to scold her. _"It works by —"_

"Cassie, stop," he ordered, not even bothering to switch to a private channel. "There's a reason they keep coming after you."

_"Meh. I've got you to deal with them, don't I? Besides, I thought we took care of them."_

Shepard wanted to say, "Don't count on it," but he would be lying. He'd come save her in any situation, no matter how trivial or potentially mortal. His stomach dropped a little when he realized that he had let Saren escape on Virmire so that he could protect her.

"I'm not taking the time to wipe out an entire terrorist organization without orders," Shepard finally answered. From what he knew, he had come pretty close to it back in the Voyager Cluster, but unless the Alliance royally fucked him, he would stick with them before becoming a mercenary. Or he'd stay a Spectre. It paid better and the toys were deadlier.

_"We can have a discussion about that later. Right now, though, I need you to help me out because I can't get this entire thing up without you changing some hard wiring. Soooo... Either you or Tali or someone's gonna have to help me out, there."_

Shepard stepped aside as a geth corpse shot by, a gaping hole in its chest. "Tali, take Garrus and go fix whatever shit Ci-Ci needs you to."

Tali gave Garrus a nervous glance.

"We're on it, Commander," Garrus answered. He patted Tali's shoulder. "Don't worry, Tali. We'll be fine on your own. Ci-Ci won't intentionally lead us into danger."

_"Yep! I've got safe routes plotted out for you right now. Would you prefer the path with the rachni or the geth?"_ Corinthia interrupted.

Garrus chuckled. "What do you think, Ci-Ci?"

_"Geth it is! From your position, head out the east door. There's a corridor there..."_

Tali and Garrus left. Liara wrung her hands. "Will they be back by the time we face my mother? She is... powerful, to say the least."

"How should I know?" Shepard replied, adjusting his grip on his assault rifle. "We don't have time to wait for them, though. Let's move."

* * *

><p>Shepard ducked into cover. "CI-CI! How many more of these bitches are there?!"<p>

After three hours of battling rachni and geth, not to mention rescuing a slew of researchers stranded there and surrounded by geth, they had finally reached the center of the facility. Matriarch Benezia was there, breeding an army of rachni for Saren. She brought a group of asari commandos with her and they were currently trying to tear Shepard, Alenko, Garrus, Tali, and Liara to pieces.

_"They're scrambling all readings of the area, Shep. I can't tell. Either you wait until I get there or you just keep fighting," _Corinthia replied.

He used his biotics to slam an asari into the wall. Her spine snapped with a sickening crack, blue blood bursting from her lips. "BENEZIA! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT SAREN IS A FUCKING MADMAN?" he shouted.

Benezia, however wasn't listening. She was too busy duelling Liara. The viciousness exemplified by the mother and daughter was breathtaking. Liara, who was normally so subdued and uncertain, had hardened into the kind of biotic that wouldn't hesitate to turn someone inside out. Even Shepard wasn't that cruel. Benezia was retorting completely in kind, the thought that she was going to kill her daughter never even crossing her mind. It wasn't right. Even if Shepard had family to hate, he didn't think that he could just... slaughter them without a thought.

"Mother! What has come over you?" Liara demanded. Her hands glowed as she drew up another field to block an attack from Benezia.

"You're a fool, girl," Benezia replied, her entire body flaring with power. She drew back, preparing a massive attack. "You don't understand what it is you're fighting. Who it is. The Reapers are coming. They will subdue you!"

Out of deference for Liara, Shepard hadn't shot Benezia between the eyes when they'd first met. He wished that he had, though, because it would have spared them an entire battle. If only it was that simple to deal with things... Now, though, he was tired, cold, and ready to get back home to the _Normandy_.

"I'm sick and fucking tired of this Reaper shit," he muttered. With that, he rolled out of cover, catching the Matriarch in a singularity and shooting with his pistol until her biotic barrier fell. He didn't even flinch or move as the other asari peppered him with shots, even when helmet's interface told him that his shields were dipping dangerously low.

Benezia grunted as the bullets hit her stomach. Liara screamed. The commandos stopped in shock that their Matriarch could fall. Shepard, Garrus, Tali, and Alenko used the opportunity to rid themselves of the unwanted attackers.

"She won't last long," Shepard muttered to Liara. "So make your last words quick."

Benezia groaned. "Little Wing..."

"Mother!" Liara rushed to the Matriarch's side, grasping her hand.

Shepard narrowed his eyes. Even he couldn't deny that Benezia's entire disposition had changed. He'd seen something similar in Saren, but Shepard had dismissed it as a glitch in the turian's upgrades. Was there something else going on?

Benezia stroked Liara's cheek. "You've grown so strong, my Little Wing... But..." She coughed, winced, and struggled to sit up.

"We'll help you, Mother," Liara said. "Dr. Chakwas can help you."

"N-no..." Benezia locked gazes with Shepard. "Commander, please... Listen to me while I still have control of my mind..."

Shepard crossed his arms, but nodded and opened his helmet's visor.

Liara pressed her palm over Benezia's forehead. "Mother! What's happened to you? I can feel... something..."

"There's no time!" Benezia coughed and fought against the pain as she leaned forward. Her hand extended to Shepard. "Sovereign... The ship is alive. It gets into your mind, makes you believe… Indoctrinates you... No one can fight it, no matter how strong you may be… I could not… Argh!" She clutched her stomach.

Liara was trying not to cry. "I have some medi-gel."

Shepard held his tongue. Medi-gel wouldn't save Benezia, nor would it ease the pain of the passing. He wasn't cruel enough to command Liara to stop an attempt to aid her mother. Even if the Matriarch was absolutely insane.

Benezia slapped Liara's omni-tool away, her gaze still fixated on Shepard. "Do you know what it's like, beating upon the glass as your hands torture and murder?"

Shepard's breath hitched. He did know that feeling. He'd felt it in brief moments back with the Reds and whenever he had the nightmares of the end of the galaxy.

"There is only so much I can stand..." Benezia continued, voice weakening by the moment. "Please… End this… You are the only one who can. Saren is planning… The Mu Relay…" Her omni-tool turned on.

Shepard put his finger to his radio. "Ci-Ci, you getting this?"

Corinthia didn't answer, but his omni-tool flared to life as Benezia waved her hand over his.

"Saren is going to Ilos. I… I cannot tell you more…" Benezia screamed and doubled over in pain. She didn't have long left to live, by Shepard's gage.

Liara grabbed Benezia's hand. "No, no, Mother. You cannot leave me like this! We can save you!"

"It is too late, Little Wing… I have always been proud of you…" She touched Liara's cheek. Liara reached to cup it, but it slid away as Benezia's eyes rolled back.

Liara paled. "Mother? Mother?!" She shook Benezia's body. Even if she knew that her mother was gone, she refused to believe it.

Shepard didn't want to watch that; he'd seen that kind of mourning once with Corinthia and she was the only person he would ever help endure it. He turned away. "Ci-Ci, please tell me you got something."

"_Everything on her omni-tool,_" Corinthia answered softly. After a moment, she added, "_Don't go all hard-ass right now, okay? Liara isn't a soldier, you know. And losing a parent isn't easy_."

"I know," he said, glancing back at Liara. The asari wasn't crying, though. In fact, she was slowly getting to her feet.

"Liara..." he started, trying to sound sympathetic.

"I am fine, Commander," she answered, her voice steady and calm. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. "I shall only need some time to myself once we return to the _Normandy_."

He nodded. "You'll have it."

Garrus holstered his sniper rifle. "The facility is clear, Commander. Evac is on its way for the researchers."

Alenko carefully stepped forward to examine the large container in the middle. "What's in there?"

Tali joined him, her omni-tool out and scanning. "Whatever it is, it's alive."

"What's it matter?" Shepard replied. "We know where Saren is going. We should follow him. Now."

Behind him, a dead commando's body staggered and shuffled towards him, hitting his shoulder as it passed and turning to face him.

Garrus blinked. "Uh, Commander..."

"What?!" Shepard replied, now getting quite irate. He jumped and almost shouted when the dead asari shambled by him. "Holy fucking hell!"

The dead commando spun around like a marionette and pressed her back against the glass. Her eyes opened, as black as when Liara joined minds with Shepard. Behind her, a rachni the size of a mountain moved, letting Shepard see its face. As much as he hated the bugs, this one was different, he could tell. He wasn't sure how, exactly, but it was.

"_I am the voice of my people_," the asari said, her voice echoing metallically. "_I am the rachni queen._"

Shepard put his hand on his pistol. "Yeah, and your offspring's gone bat shit. That's not a good reason for me to listen."

_"Please, forgive them. They were born without the song and went mad. They never learned to sing."_

"Sing?" Alenko repeated. "That's not how I'd describe it..."

"And you did?" Shepard asked the rachni.

_"My people are not cruel or destructive by nature. We were poisoned a sour yellow note… a tone from space which muted one voice after another. They cannot be saved, but the future of our race lies in your hands. If you release me, we shall go to the far edge of the galaxy to rebuild in peace. If you destroy me, then my children will never learn to sing and will fall into a madness that can only end in blood and the end of our species."_

Shepard didn't like the rachni. Hell, he hated bugs in general (especially spiders). Letting one that big go free was a big risk, but at least there wouldn't be more. If she was the only queen. Wait, how could she be?

Normally his policy was to shoot first and ask questions later, but something in the back of his head told him that killing this queen wasn't the smarter choice to make. He couldn't explain it, either, and he could only hope that there wasn't something else trying to mess with his mind.

"If I let you go," he said, stepping forward, "I don't want to see you or any of your... children ever again, is that clear? Because I will kill every last one of you I meet."

_"I shall journey to sing where the notes cannot be soured_," she answered.

"Don't expect me to give you a ride, either." He went to the controls, hesitating with his hand over the cage release button. "Don't make me regret this."

The pod rose to the surface. The asari's body fell away, dead once more.

Alenko, Garrus, and Tali exchanged looks. Shepard had just been... merciful. _Very_ merciful. That wasn't in his character at all.

"_Shep, I've got a massive rachni on the radar outside_," Corinthia messaged. "_Holy… It's got to be fifty feet long!"_

"I know," he answered. "Don't worry about it. I'll explain when I get back."

"_Uh…_"

"Trust me."

Back on the _Normandy_, Corinthia hung her head and signaled that Joker couldn't go on a shooting spree. "I do. The area's clear. There's a team coming to get the stranded scientists out. Conditions are still too bad for us to come get you, so you're just going to have to ride with them."

"_Understood_," he answered. "_You seriously weren't listening to everything that just happened?"_

"Nope. I had to deal with Joker," Corinthia answered, glaring down the CIC at the pilot. "He's getting a little trigger happy."

_"I'll kick his ass when I get back. Shepard out._"

* * *

><p><strong>22 July 2183—Comm Room, <em>SSV Normandy<em>, en route to the Citadel**

Liara blankly stared ahead at the wall, not hearing Corinthia's debriefing. Although Liara had yet to cry over the loss of her mother, she was still unwilling to speak about it.

Garrus leaned forward. "So, what you're saying is that the Reapers can control people's minds if you're around one of them for long enough," he summarized.

Corinthia frowned, not particularly liking that the turian had summed up her entire half-hour explanation of her findings in that simple sentence. "Well... yes."

Wrex snorted. "Weaklings."

Corinthia shook her head. "I take it you didn't read either Saren or Benezia's file."

"Why would I have? I'm just here to shoot things." Wrex clasped his hands behind his head with a smirk. "And blow things up. Right, Shepard?"

Shepard rubbed his eyes. "Saren was a Spectre for a reason and an asari matriarch is not someone you ignore and tell to fuck off. This... indoctrination shit is serious if it could overpower both of them. Beyond them... attacking Eden Prime and everywhere else, we never would have known that they were being controlled." He would never say, but the thought that he couldn't know his friends from his enemies was actually scaring him a little. He'd been in that situation before and he didn't want to go back.

Corinthia put her hand on his shoulder. "I think that about sums up everything that needs to be said. I'll alert the Council and we should plot a course for Ilos. That's going to get a little complicated, since no one's been through the Mu Relay before. Crew dismissed."

Even if she was usurping his authority a little, Shepard was grateful that Corinthia had stepped in. As soon as the doors were shut, Corinthia stepped in front of Shepard. "You look terrible, John. When's the last time you slept?"

"Twelve hours before we landed on Noveria," he replied, wearily rubbing his eyes.

She grabbed his arm and tugged him to his feet. "Okay, big boy, you're going to bed," she grunted. "Now. I'll get those reports done for ya while you sleep."

"Keeping an eye on me?" he asked, sounding far more grateful than he may have intended to. Not that he wasn't, but his goal was to sleep with her in his arms, not to have her do his job for him.

As soon as they'd walked out into the CIC, he staggered. She caught him, only barely, and helped him to his cabin. Once inside, he fell back onto the bed, pulling Ci-Ci with him and rolling her beneath him.

"Oof," she squeaked. "John, you're heavy..."

He shifted a little so that he could lay his head on her breast. "What's going to happen after this?" he whispered into her skin. He was too exhausted to even think about kissing her, or trying to. In fact, the only thing on his mind was how he didn't ever want to let go of her. In his tired state, he was actually willing to think about them, what would happen...

"This being…?" Corinthia said, wiggling to kick off her boots.

"Anderson isn't going to like this. Us."

Her heart pounded. Shepard didn't talk about them, not in that capacity. She'd just... assumed that there weren't any questions to ask, but now a whole horde of them was begging to escape her lips. "You aren't breaking up with me, are you?"

"No." He struggled to push himself up onto his arms so that he could kiss her. He leaned down, pressing his lips over hers, somewhat more sloppily than usual. Still, she was kissing him back and curling her arms around his neck, pulling him back down on top of her. His arms gave in and he landed on her, their kiss ending as he gasped an apology.

"It's fine," she murmured, pressing her forehead against his. "I'm just grateful that... Well..." She didn't have the words for it. "That it's not over," she finished weakly.

He settled himself back on her chest. "I couldn't end this even if I wanted to."

She kissed the top of his head. "If you had to leave me... I'd understand, but I'll only accept a Reaper invasion as acceptable grounds."

He didn't have the energy to laugh. He flipped onto his back after a long moment of listening to her heartbeat. "You didn't answer my question."

"What question?"

"About what you think will happen."

"Oh..." She rolled onto her side, looking at him with her head propped up on her hand. "Do you really think I think that far ahead?"

"You're a dreamer. I'm…" He hesitated, not sure how to explain himself. Had he thought about them after they got Saren? Yes, but only the sense that he'd just do whatever it took to make damn sure that she would be his. If that was marriage or sex or whatever, he'd do it. Not that he was ready to get married... to anyone, even her... The thought of that alone made him dizzy.

"I don't think like you," he continued. "I'm taking what I can get while I can get it." He sat up apologetically. "I don't mean it like that, really! I just… It gets all fucked between my brain and my mouth when you're around me and... Shit, that isn't what I meant, either..."

"You're taking it one day at a time," she finished for him. "I get it. Really. There isn't any other way we can take it, you know?" She sat up, drawing her knees to his chest. "And, I know how hard it has to be for you to... resist pressuring me into us being more intimate..."

He groaned. It was hard enough not to think about making love to her on a normal day, but with all of his barriers broken down he was left with only his emotions and his instinct. That meant his affection for her and his desire to show it.

"It's because I... care about you," he concluded, the word 'love' unable to pass his lips, even in his weakened state. Maybe it was true. Maybe he could start to be willing to admit it. But if he did... Every action he would make would be about her, which would get him kicked out of the Alliance if he wasn't careful enough.

Corinthia looked at him, her eyes glittering. He'd said that before, but there was something else about the way he said it that wasn't quite normal. It was deeper than usual, much deeper. As she realized just what he'd intended to say, but had perhaps been too sheepish to admit, a grin slowly spread across her face.

His heart leapt at the sight of her smile, but even that expression of pure joy wasn't enough to quell the other deeper, darker thought now creeping to the forefront of his mind. He swung his legs over the side of the bed. "I'm not sure we're going to survive this." He jolted forward when she hit the back of his head. "What the fuck was that for?!"

"No. You aren't allowed to think like that," she scolded. "I can think like that, but you're Commander Fucking Shepard. You're the most epic and awesome thing that this galaxy has ever seen. You aren't allowed to think that you'll fail because you can't and you won't."

He shook his head, only feeling a little better. "I'm still human." That fact was almost as hard to admit as it was to tell her how much he cared about her.

She crawled up behind him, put her arms around his shoulders, and kissed his cheek. "Only around me. And, just so you know, you are allowed to feel… mortal." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, John. I cut you off and I shouldn't have. It's just that I've never seen you… weak. It's unnerving. And sweet, in a weird kind of way."

He blinked in surprise. "So you've spent all this time thinking that I was some kind of god?"

She thought for a moment. "Yeah, pretty much."

"You're in for disappointment. I'm going to fail at some point." He put his face in his hands, his last bit of self-control breaking. "Maybe this is Williams's death hitting me. Maybe it's just the fear of losing you… God, I don't know anymore. This whole thing is just… draining me. I killed Liara's mother today, and she was just… indoctrinated. That means that Saren is, too. AND I let the rachni queen free, which could easily doom the galaxy if they decide to invade again, and I did that because I thought it was the right thing…"

"John..."

He spun and grabbed her shoulders. "What the hell are you doing to me, Cassiopeia?! I NEVER had ANY regrets or reservations! They call me the Butcher of Torfan and I never once cared. I let one of the best members of our crew die! I let Saren get away so that I could protect you — you! And I don't care! I still don't, even though it could put me in prison and kicked out of the Alliance and that would take away everything I care about. I'd still do it again." He crumpled, his shoulders shaking. "It isn't supposed to be like this. I'm supposed to be the hard-ass, get-the-job-done-at-any-cost, last resort. You're turning me into a goddamned hero and I don't like it. It's like you took my mind and… and… ARGH!"

With another roar, his biotics flared and he surged forward, fist propelled into the wall. The sound echoed hollowly throughout the room. He rubbed his hand, feeling two broken knuckles. He didn't care about the pain; it made him feel more than human to be able to ignore it.

Corinthia sat back on the bed, heart racing in fear. If she hadn't let go of him...

"I'm sorry…" she whispered. Now she felt extremely guilty for ever thinking him more than human. It had never occurred to her that he didn't like being a hero.

"I don't want your apologies," he growled. "You haven't done anything." He ran his hand over his head and over his chin, feeling the stubble. "Shit, Cassie..." he added, seeing her expression. No wonder why she respected and put him on such a high pedestal. No matter how much she cared about him, she was still afraid of him. His expression softened and he rejoined her on the bed. When he held out his arm for her to come to him, she did and gratefully curled up against his chest.

He pressed his lips into her hair. She'd been in the shower right before the crew meeting, so it was still damp and smelled like lavender. Where'd she get stuff like that over the standard issued stuff?

"I know I did the right thing," he murmured. "I know we're doing the right thing. It's just that the pressure is… I can't handle it alone."

She looked up at him, hope brimming from her eyes. "So… you aren't mad at me?"

"Believe me, I want to be, but I'm not." He threaded his fingers in her hair, making a note to tell her that she should keep it longer. "I've always been sure of myself. It's how I've survived this long. You make me feel nervous and awkward, sometimes, because it actually matters to me what you think about me and what I do. It doesn't make any sense, but it's the truth. I don't like it, but I'd rather feel like that than not feel at all." He grabbed her hand and put it over his heart, leaning down to put their foreheads together. "You just… you make me _feel_."

Part of her was melting because of how sweet he was being and part of her wanted to laugh at him. The former won and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately with enough force to knock him back onto the bed. He held her tightly, relishing her taste and trying to fight his primal instinct. He barely succeeded, pushing her off him with a gasp. He wanted her so much that he was incapable of speaking except in a groan.

She licked her lips, panting. "John... W-we... Shouldn't..."

He nodded dumbly, finally managing to rasp, "Shower." He got up from the bed and went into the bathroom, turning the water on as cold as it could possibly go. Whether or not she'd be there when he got out was something he'd worry about later. He ran a hand over his face, stepping into the icy stream. Of all the women he could've fallen in love with—Williams, Liara… hell, even Dr. Chakwas—it was Ci-Ci. He just hoped that he would never come to regret it.


	28. Grounded

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>23 July 2183 — Shepard's Quarters, <em>SSV Normandy<em>, en route to the Mu Relay**

"_Commander! Commander!"_

Shepard groaned. "Didn't I turn off the fucking comm?!" he muttered into Corinthia's hair. He dragged her back even more tightly against his chest, still unable to believe that she'd agreed to spend the night.

_"The Council is calling. They won't hang up and they're saying that they have to talk to you, not Ci-Ci."_

Shepard flopped onto his back, pulling Corinthia with him. "Cassie, can't you do something?"

"No," she answered, voice muffled by his arms. "Just talk to them. And put on a shirt this time."

He stumbled to his feet, somehow found his way into his clothing, and staggered into the comm room, still barefoot. From the way his head was throbbing, he felt like he was hung over. That meant that any interactions that he would have in the immediate future would be grumpy, curt, and unpleasant.

Of course, he had to be talking to the Council. And they were probably already pissed at him.

"This is going to be beautiful," he muttered, opening the channel.

The Council appeared, each of their holograms frowning.

_"Commander, how pleasant to see you in person_," the asari began.

Shepard yawned and rubbed his eyes. "You're lucky that you caught me waking up on the right side of the bed. What the hell do you want? I have better things that I could be doing. Like chasing Saren and killing that bastard before he does something even more stupid."

_"You are to return to the Citadel immediately_," Tevos continued, as if she hadn't heard him.

Sparatus nodded, his mandibles twitching a little. "_Your task was to track Saren and prove his guilt, not apprehend and execute him."_

Valern tapped a finger to his lips, salarian eyes blinking rapidly. "_If you do not return, your Spectre status will be revoked."_

Shepard gritted his teeth and cut off the transmission before he started shouting at them. "Joker! Get us to the Citadel. Mother fucking manipulative politician slime..."

_"Gotcha, Commander,_" Joker answered. "_So... What did they want_?"

"Fuck off, Joker."

_"Fucking off, sir_."

* * *

><p><strong>25 July 2183—Docks, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Shore leave for the crew of the _Normandy_ was an almost solemn affair. The burden of Williams's death still hung on their shoulders like a shroud. It was too much to hope that everyone would return to the Normandy in perfect fighting shape, but so long as the air cleared and everyone could focus, Shepard couldn't care less.

It never, ever boded well when he was recalled from a mission, especially if when he had been made a Spectre for the sole purpose of retrieving the turian bastard. He tugged at his stiff collar. Dress uniform. Why couldn't he just go in armor? They always ended up in a fight, anyway.

"Anderson says we're to report to the Council Chambers in two hours," Corinthia said, coming up behind him.

Shepard turned, his mouth flopping open when he saw her. Sure, he'd seen her in dress blues before, but never with her hair actually done and let alone with makeup on. He could see her eyes... and her scars, but he'd long since thought those made her beautiful.

"What?" she asked, cheeks flushing. "Do I have lipstick on my teeth? I'm pretty sure that I put it on correctly..."

"You look..." he started, but the words wouldn't come out. Why was it so damn hard to compliment her?

She smiled, shuffling her feet a little. "Thanks, John. If I trip in these heels, you get to catch me."

"Just don't do it in front of the Council." His eyes flicked to the elevator. "Is it just us going?"

"Everyone else is ready to come defend you," Corinthia replied, stepping closer to him. She winced as her heels clicked against the metal floor. "You just have to ask."

"As if."

"Okay, fine. You just have to make sure that you don't tell them they can't come."

"Uh, what?"

"Do you want me to tell them to suit up or not?"

"I..."

She opened her omni-tool. "Alenko! Garrus! Y'all are on. Get Liara and Tali. Hell, get Wrex, too, if he's still up for it."

_"Understood, Lieutenant Commander. We'll meet you by the Council Elevator. I'm sure you and the Commander will want some time to yourselves," _Alenko replied.

"Yes, something like that," Corinthia murmured, ending the transmission. "So... do you want to grab a drink first?"

"Yes," he answered without hesitation. He took her hand and started for the elevators. When she pulled away, he glared at her. "What the hell was that?"

"_That_ was because we're in uniform," she answered quietly. "We can't be together, not like that."

"Damn it..." He started unbuttoning his jacket. "A man can't even have a drink with his girlfriend without there being strings attached."

Corinthia laughed and brushed his hands aside as she re-buttoned his jacket. "After we talk to the Council, we'll go out and have a real date, alright? Before... Well, who knows what will happen on the other side of the Mu Relay," she finished.

Shepard took her hands. He hated it when she felt afraid, but at least this time she wasn't afraid of him. "We're going to get him," he said, his tone making it clear that there was no room for argument. "Then we're going to be together and the Alliance can just deal with it."

She took a deep breath and nodded. After a moment, she gave him a weak smile. "Okay." She squeezed his hands. "Let's get that drink."

* * *

><p><strong>The Council Chambers, Presidium Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

"Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" Shepard yelled, reaching for his pistol. Corinthia and Alenko grabbed his arms and tried to drag him back under control. "I've been putting my ass on the line and you STILL don't believe me?! What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't have time to sit with my dick in my hands and wait for Saren to come to me. We have one opportunity to get him by surprise and you're telling me to jerk off?! Fuck you."

"Commander, behave yourself," Tevos warned, not sounding in the least bit intimidated. "It is this sort of behavior that has led us to decide that we will wait for Saren to move first. From here on, the _Normandy_ is grounded. You are relieved of duty, Commander. Consider yourself lucky that you are still a Spectre." Her eyes shifted to Corinthia. "Lieutenant Commander Corinthia, from henceforth you are the commanding officer aboard the _Normandy_. You will await Alliance orders. That is all. Dismissed."

Corinthia saluted. "Yes, ma'am. C'mon, Shepard. There's no point in us staying here."

Even if he hadn't thought it possible, he was actually angry with her, but as he rounded on her to yell some more, she pinched his arm. He almost jumped and, once he'd calmed enough to meet her eyes and saw the deviousness there, had to hold back a smirk as his anger abated. She had a plan and it was a damn good one.

Somehow managing to resist the temptation to flick off the Council, Shepard left. Everyone just parted and gave him a clear path towards the elevators.

Alenko whistled. "This is going to get interesting."

Garrus nodded. "That's why I'm about to go buy better armor."

"Good idea."

* * *

><p><strong>Common Deck, <em>SSV Normandy<em>**

Shepard's biotics flared as he pounded his fist into his locker. The metal warped and bent like tinfoil.

"Damn, Shep, you really need to stop punching things," Corinthia said, stepping forward. "You're going to deform your hands."

"Does it look like I care?" he growled, leaning against the deformed locker with one hand on either side of the door. Well, what was left of it.

She wriggled her way under his arms so that he was boxing her in. "You will when you have to shoot something." She turned about (somewhat awkwardly) kissed his knuckles, and waved her omni-tool to apply a dose of medi-gel. The pain, which wasn't substantial to begin with, faded into cool relief.

"There is a doctor aboard," he informed her. Still, his lips twitched into a small, grateful smile.

"And you're sitting here moping."

"I'm not moping."

She shrugged. "Suit yourself."

He sighed and hung his head. "So what's your plan, _Commander_?"

"Oh, stop it. You're still the Commander and I'm just... holding the fort? I guess that's the right phrase... Anyway, it involves us being very sneaky and doing super-extra sneaky things —"

"Just shut up and tell me what it is."

"In a word? Mutiny. In a few? Commandeer the _Normandy_ and finish the job."

Shepard smirked and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "That's my girl."

She giggled. "Glad you like it. Because you're the one that'll get in trouble for it, you know."

"I can handle it. What needs to be done?"

"A lot. So, it kinda means no date..."

"Yeah..." He grabbed her waist and dragged her against his chest. "So let me give you the synopsis."

Before she could argue or point out that they weren't exactly alone, he had ferociously captured her lips, teeth grazing her skin and tongue battering for entrance. He didn't show that kind of aggression often, but she actually liked it. A lot. It made her knees shake. She ran her hands along his back, nails digging in just ever so slightly—

And, of course, just when things were getting good, Joker interrupted.

_"Hey, Commander... Well, Commanders, as the case is now, isn't it? Anderson wants you to meet him in Flux. Didn't say what he wanted, though. Are we really grounded?"_.

Shepard wrenched away from Corinthia, trying to catch his breath. "Joker, I swear to God, if you're spying on us..."

_"What? I don't know what you're talking about,_" Joker answered, too quickly for comfort.

Corinthia shook her head. "Tell Anderson that the Commander and I will be there."

_"Yeah, just make sure your clothes are straight when you get there."_

Shepard put his hand behind Corinthia's head and pulled her back to him. "Joker, f —"

_"Yeah, yeah, I know. Fucking off, sir."_

* * *

><p><strong>25 July 2183—Flux, Market Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Flux was alive and packed with bodies. Shepard shifted his arm protectively to the small of Corinthia's back and pulled her closer to him. He could see men's eyes sliding over her. Jealousy slithered and hissed, ready to strike and anything that regarded her for more than a passing moment. Since they were in their uniforms this time, he could actually touch her in public and make it known that she was not to be touched by anyone else.

Corinthia pulled his arm off her waist, murmuring, "Anderson's over there." She jerked her head to a table in a corner. The Captain sat hunched over a glass of whiskey, looking like anything but a decorated war hero. He was dressed casually, making him almost impossible to spot amidst the crowd.

"If he doesn't know by now..." Shepard answered.

"He's going to keep feigning ignorance until we actually make the knowledge public," she answered. "Do you want me to be assigned somewhere else?"

"I hate it when you're right." Shepard withdrew with difficulty and led the way to Anderson.

The Captain smiled wearily. "Shepard, Ci-Ci. Sit down, please."

They did. Shepard leaned forward. "So, what do you want?"

Anderson folded his hands, watching his palms rather than the officers before him. "I'm going to cut to the chase. The Alliance and the Council aren't happy with how you've been conducted this investigation, Shepard."

"No shit," Shepard muttered.

Anderson acted as if he hadn't heard. "That's why they put Ci-Ci in charge. They think that she'll act according to their expectations."

Shepard snorted. "With me still aboard? As if."

"My thoughts exactly," Anderson continued. "If I know the two of you, you already have a plan. I think I can help."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "So... are you giving us orders to misbehave?"

"I wouldn't have phrased it like that, but that's the essence of it." Anderson chuckled.

Shepard crossed his arms. "And will you assume responsibility for our actions?"

"You know I can't do that, Shepard. You'll need me on your side if this goes wrong."

Corinthia put her hand over Shepard's mouth before he could say something else. "How do you plan on helping us, Captain?"

"I can get you off of the Citadel," Anderson replied.

"Joker will think it's a blast," Corinthia observed. "How are you going to override the system? You'd have to break into the Citadel Control."

"I can lift the lockdown from Udina's office, too," Anderson added.

Shepard nodded. "Do it that way. If he's there, punch him for me. If he's not, wait around for him to get there and then punch him for me."

Anderson chuckled. "I intend to." Anderson stood up. "You should both relax a little and get some rest. You won't have another opportunity for a while. Besides, you look like you need it." He picked up his drink, toasted them, drained the glass, and left.

Corinthia almost slid out of her chair. "That took care of the biggest obstacle... I was going to have to go through some pretty sketchy channels to get that lockdown lifted."

"What about the crew?"

"I didn't tell them command was changed. Did you?"

"Did Pressley?"

"You can... I don't know, tie me up and throw me in the brig?"

Shepard smirked. "More like my bed."

Her eyes widened. "W-wait, y-you're not into that stuff, are you?"

"The real question is if you are."

She turned bright red. "I need a drink before we even talk about this." She raised a hand to call over a server. "A double Alabama Slammer and a double bourbon on the rocks," she ordered.

"We aren't here to get drunk," Shepard growled.

"Then you can carry me home. Besides, we can plot our next moves. And the motivational speeches. You're going to have to tell the crew what's going on and you're going to have to make them agree. Not that it'll be hard. It's kinda impossible not to like you."

"This coming from the girl who's had a crush on me since she first met me."

She shrugged. "Eh, mostly. It kinda passed for a while after Torfan."

"Of course you _have_ to bring that up..." he groaned. He knocked back his drink when the server brought it.

Corinthia giggled. "Then again, you were man enough to order me a Tootie Frootie Patootie."

"Don't remind me," he muttered. "I still don't think I've recovered from the shame of that."

They lapsed into silence, broken only when Corinthia thanked the server for the drinks. She was trying not to think about the upcoming mutiny, wondering if Shepard was doing the same. He was idly toying with her fingers.

She squeezed his hand. "Do you want to go back to the _Normandy_?"

He shook his head imperceptibly. He wanted to go experience freedom while he had the chance, to look at the skyline or just do something other than sit in Flux getting drunk… After downing her drink for her, he stood up suddenly, wrenching Corinthia's arm uncomfortably.

"You okay?," he muttered, helping her to her feet a little more gently. Unfortunately, escape wasn't an option. Responsibility loomed over him, cackling maniacally and beckoning him into the void. He impulsively pulled Corinthia against his chest. She pounded his chest, her cries of protest muffled. He loosed his grip a little and she gasped for breath.

"What's gotten into you?" she sputtered, rubbing her throat. "You're acting…" She ended her sentence with a vague, frazzled gesture. "Maybe we _should _go back to the _Normandy_. You look like you could use some rest."

He rubbed his eyes wearily. "Probably. It's a lot to take in."

"Tell me about it." She got behind him and pushed him towards the door. "C'mon, you big lump. Let's get you home."

"You mean the _Normandy_?"

"Yep."

"It's…" She was right, in a sense: the _Normandy_ was home, though it was possibly just because she was there, too. "Whatever," he concluded weakly. Fighting her wasn't worth the effort. Fighting Saren was.

* * *

><p>Shepard stood at the Galaxy Map, feeling like he was on the edge of a tidal wave. The world seemed to have slowed down while he moved double-time. It might have been because he was drunk, but right then he didn't care. He had to speak before he forgot what he was going to say. He reached for the intercom.<p>

"Attention. This is Commander Shepard," he started. His bark echoed in the halls as everyone fell silent. "As some of you may have heard, the Alliance has grounded us and Ci-Ci is now supposed to be your commanding officer. That's not happening."

He took a breath, waiting to hear a murmur of discontent. None came.

"I'm not going to let Saren get away with this. There's too much at stake here. No one's been court martialed for following orders, but I'm taking the _Normandy_ and going after Saren myself. This isn't an Alliance operation. This isn't a Spectre operation. This is just good, old fashioned revenge and we're serving it cold. If you don't want to come, now's the time to get your ass off of my ship. If you don't, you're going to be walking into Hell and I'm not making any promises. We leave in an hour." He hung up, leaning heavily on the rail. No one in the crew had moved. They all stared at him, transfixed, their expressions torn between fear and awe.

Joker coughed awkwardly. "_Alright, Commander. Now that that shit's out of the way, where are we going?"_

A great weight lifted off Shepard's chest. Everyone returned to their posts. Corinthia smiled and winked at him. "Where the hell do you think? Take us to the goddamn Mu Relay. Ci-Ci, signal Anderson. I'll be in my quarters if you need anything."

She saluted. "Aye, aye, cap'n. We be sailing the high seas, looking for adventure, treasure, and rum. Lots of rum."

"Ci-Ci?"

"Hm?"

"No."


	29. Ilos

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>25 July 2183—Bridge, <em>SSV Normandy, <em>en route to Ilos**

Corinthia hadn't sat in her assigned post since the _Normandy_ had first shipped out of Norfolk. It didn't feel right, honestly, to be next to Joker instead of Shepard. Of course, Joker was having the time of his life, and hadn't stopped babbling about being a pirate for the last six hours.

"You know, I've always wanted to be a pirate," he was saying, not caring at all if she was listening or not. "Like every other stupid kid that was out there. Except that they wouldn't let me play, because of my legs and stuff." He sighed. "Do you think we're going to find any treasure?"

"Probably a horde of batarian pirates," Corinthia answered quietly.

"Didn't Shepard kill all of them on Torfan?"

"No, but he made every other living batarian hate him and the Alliance." Corinthia rubbed her eyes. "They'll probably come after us as soon as we get Saren."

"Do you think the Alliance is going to court martial us?" Joker asked. "I mean, the Commander might take all the blame, but he's not, you know, _nice_ like that."

"Believe it or not, John is a far better man than he lets people believe," Corinthia murmured. "I wouldn't be with him if he wasn't."

Joker slowly looked over at her. "Uh… Did you mean to say that out loud? Because it's not like it's a secret with how you keep sleeping with him…"

"Did it ever occur to you that I stopped caring?" Corinthia snapped, rising to her feet. "This is your first assignment, isn't it?"

"Well…"

"You haven't walked into the kind of shit that Shepard and I have. You don't know the kind of fear that's going to grip you and suck you down. You're supposed to remember your training and how they changed your instincts, but you'll start to doubt that. Then your filters turn off and you become inhuman as you do things you had no idea you were capable of. You see things that will show up whenever you close your eyes. It's going to shake you to your very core and you will never, ever be the same."

"Sounds like the first time I got to fly."

"Except that I'm not talking about euphoria. Maybe you'll feel that way when you take the _Normandy_ through the paces against whatever it is we're going to face, but that isn't what anyone on the ground is going to think. Be grateful you're not coming along and forgive me if I forget protocol so that I don't go insane for fear of what's going to happen when we land."

Joker opened his mouth to answer — maybe even apologize — but she was already gone. He sighed and turned on the comm to Shepard's quarters. "Commander?"

"_Yeah, what?"_ Shepard answered irately.

"You may want to talk to Ci-Ci. She sounds pretty nervous about what's about to happen."

There was silence on the other end of the line for a long moment. _"Where is she?_"

"Not sure. She just left the bridge."

Shepard walked out of his quarters, hoping to intercept her. The elevator doors were closing just as he approached them. Shepard cursed. "Fuck…"

"You alright, Commander?" Alenko asked. "Did your shirt get stuck in the elevator?"

Shepard glanced down at his shirtless torso. "No," he answered. "I was looking for Cassie."

Alenko shrugged. "I thought she was up on the bridge, but you could check with Liara. She goes in there to talk about the Protheans and whatever else they have to chat about from time to time. Actually, she goes in there a lot."

"She's allowed to have friends," Shepard said, going towards the medbay.

Dr. Chakwas looked up. "Commander, is everything alright? You must be freezing. Where is your shirt? And your shoes?"

Shepard waved her off. "Seen Ci-Ci?"

"No, I haven't. She was here briefly before we left the Citadel, but that was just to make sure that I was alright with what was happening." She chuckled. "Honestly, I find it rather exciting."

"That's great," Shepard replied, not actually having heard a word of what she said. A quick scan of the back room showed that Liara was in there alone, so he ran back to the elevator.

Alenko leaned in the doorway of the medical bay. "Maybe you should make sure to give him a full physical before we leave," he told Dr. Chakwas.

"He's just worried," she answered. "We all are. I suggest you get some rest, Lieutenant. He's going to have everyone go down with him, I'm certain of it."

"I don't think any of us would want to stay behind, unless we were actually needed on the _Normandy_."

"Or unless I order it. How are your implants doing?"

"I have a mild migraine right now, but I'll be fine."

Dr. Chakwas pursed her lips. "Sit down, Kaidan. Let me have a look."

* * *

><p>Corinthia sat in the passenger compartment of the Mako, staring ahead into the wiring and searching for any errors. There weren't any, but it was a way to occupy her mind and think of anything other than what was about to happen.<p>

Needless to say, she was nervous. Against her will, memories of the Blitz, Akuze, Torfan, Eden Prime, and Virmire were flooding back to her. Yes, she'd come out of every situation alive, but it had been thanks to Shepard every time. Well, almost every time; on Eden Prime he had been mindfucked by that Prothean Beacon. The list of situations was longer than she liked, especially as every other mission they'd been on in the last few months struggled to come to the forefront of her memory.

Without the Alliance on their side, she didn't know what would happen. Well, that wasn't quite true; she knew that she and Shepard would be court martialed and, in all likelihood, dishonorably discharged from the Navy. Shepard would just become a mercenary, but she… What would she do?

Her mind lapsed into daydream — images of a life outside of the military. The more she thought about it, whether it was being an information broker or an art dealer, the more appealing it seemed. Maybe it was just because she was afraid she wouldn't come out of the next fight alive, but another part of her felt that she had never really been meant for fighting. For war. For everything that she was.

That thought brought up a worse one: What if she wasn't meant for Shepard? What if she was just enfatuated because he was everything she wished she could be as a soldier? What if he wouldn't let her leave?

The hatch opened and he dropped in, his bare feet barely making a sound. His back was to her, so she debated not even speaking.

"Cassie?" he asked softly, looking around. When his gaze rested on her, he reached up and closed the hatch behind him. He took a deep breath before carefully taking a spot next to her. From how she had her arms wrapped around her knees, she needed to be held. Still, she flinched when he made to put his arm around her. "Are you alright?"

"Not really," she answered, voice muffled by her thighs.

He lowered his arm to his side. "What's going on? Usually when you're like this, you want to be close to me. What did I do?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not." She sat up a little and lowered her legs. "I just… started thinking about what's going to happen on the other side of the relay… What will happen after we get back…"

Shepard's stomach began to tie into knots. Had he fucked something up? Was she going to break up with him? Or did she expect more out of him? Like… marriage. As much as he cared about her, the thought of that made him cringe. He wasn't ready for that, and if she wanted it, he wasn't sure he could give it to her.

"I don't like this," she continued.

He stared at his feet, not sure how to answer, if he could at all.

"I don't like the fights. I don't like the pressure. I don't like anything about this."

He took a steadying breath. "'This' being the fact that you're a marine and not a scientist," he finished for her, hoping that he was right. They fought enough and he hoped that he wasn't pressuring her about things, but he knew there was no way to avoid it.

"I wouldn't have picked 'scientist', but that's basically what I'm feeling right now," she murmured.

"If you don't want to be part of the team…"

She shook her head. "I'm not doing that to you."

"So what are you doing to me?" he retorted.

She shifted nervously. "Is it… a problem that I wouldn't want to stay with the Alliance?"

He sighed, buying time before he answered. His first reaction was to be angry with her and try to force her to change her mind, but if she wasn't happy, it would only get worse as time went on. He had never given thought to if _he _was happy with the Alliance or not. After spending so long using the military to, essentially, sever his ties to the Reds, he hadn't given thought to what he would do if he had to leave. Admiralty was looking less and less appealing after he'd tastes the freedom of being a Spectre.

"It's… Being together would be harder," he began slowly. "Much harder. But it was never easy to begin with, either." He paused, gathering his thoughts. "I don't know if it's a problem or not. This is all I know and about the only way I know you or can think about you. I don't have time to figure that out right now. It's bad enough that you're telling me this when—" He stopped before said anything else he'd regret. "I'm sorry, Cassie. You're important to me and that's what matters, but Saren is my priority right now and I don't need you bringing up emotional shit and confusing me."

Her brow furrowed and she swallowed an angry retort. "Just to clarify," she carefully and calmly said, "my emotions and feelings are also important to you, but kicking Saren's ass takes precedent at this moment."

"Yes." He realized that he had been insensitive, but he wasn't about to apologize because he was right. When her expression didn't brighten, he reached out and took her hand. "Look, this whole thing… Having to care about someone… It's all new to me and I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with the ways you make me feel. What I do know and can admit is that I will not let you die. I can't afford that. I'll do everything I can to stop you from getting hurt, but we both know that I can't make that promise because I haven't done it in the past." The fingers of his free hand drifted to the scar at her temple before lightly tracing down the side of her cheek. "I'm sorry that I let it happen. I'm sorry that I can't be here like you need me to, but I swear, I'll learn. When Saren is gone, I'll take a leave of absence and focus on you and figuring things out between us. Just… tell me what you need from me and I'll do it if I can."

Her expression softened a little and she shifted closer to him. "There wasn't anything you could have done to have stopped Saren on Eden Prime." She was choosing to ignore the rest of his speech, since any discussion on it would frustrate him more.

"Yes, there was."

She rolled her eyes and placed her hand behind his neck. "Just shut up and let me be right."

With that, he closed the gap between them and kissed her. His teeth raked against her lips and his tongue delved into her mouth. She reciprocated, clinging onto him as if he were the only thing keeping her on the ground. It wasn't often that she let her need of him reflect in her physical affections, but now he was beginning to wonder how he'd ever had any doubts. He was hardly even aware that his hands were running over her body until she caught his wrist and drew away.

"Not in here," she murmured, her chest heaving for breath.

Shepard's eyes flicked up and down her body. "But if we go back to my quarters, I can't promise that we won't… At least here I won't just push you up against the seats and..."

She ran her fingers through his hair, at least what little there was, and thought. "But if we die…"

"I'm not going to use that as an excuse." He swallowed hard to keep his desire out of his voice. "And you're too important for anything other than a full night, somewhere comfortable and beautiful and isolated…" He leaned his forehead against her. "Believe me, I want you, more than I can describe, but I'd rather take a cold shower tonight and then just hold you in my arms. You know I don't sleep well, anyway, and I'll need every edge I can get."

She nodded and leaned in to put a gentle kiss on his cheek.

His brow furrowed. "You're trembling…" He caught her hands. "What's wrong?"

She shyly met his eyes. "I… There is something else…"

He pushed her hair behind her ear. "You can tell me."

"D-do you love me?" If he answered that he did, she could put aside every hurtful thing he'd just said. It wasn't logical, but she told herself she would. It would explain his concern for her and his difficulty in dealing with it.

"Yes," he answered without hesitation. Even if he hadn't expected her to ask it — even if he couldn't find the courage to say it to her face — there was no doubt in his mind that he loved her. Better, it didn't even make him nervous to admit it.

She grinned, her arms flying around his neck and she kissed him again. This time, though, it was different in a way that Shepard couldn't express or explain. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her against him. Maybe he was feeling that, for once, he could be confident and do more than just hope the mission would end well. He knew it would. It had to.

"I take it you feel the same way," he murmured once she'd calmed down her affections.

"Of course I do… I have for ages…"

"I know."

She blinked. "So… how long have you known?"

"Does it matter?"

"If it would've made the last few years less uncomfortable…"

He shook his head. "I wasn't ready. I wasn't good enough for you. I'm still not."

"Hush. We're not having that conversation right now." She stood up and took his hand. "We should go to bed before we say anything else we'll regret or that'll keep us up for hours."

He kissed her forehead. "Agreed. Maybe I can walk into this cocky."

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"No."

* * *

><p><strong>26 July 2183—Docking Bay, <em>SSV Normandy<em>, orbiting Ilos, Refuge System, Pangea Expanse **

Corinthia tightened her grip on the steering wheel. Her stomach was puddling somewhere beneath her feet, always slipping out of her grasp before she could pick it back up and put it where it belonged. She wriggled her fingers nervously, trying to stretch the rubber sealing between the armor plates, and tried not think about how idiotic she looked. In honor of the new mission—and in honor of Shepard's ever-increasing concern for her safety—she had upgraded from her regular light armor for a larger, heavier suit. She felt like a krogan, which wouldn't have been a bad thing if Wrex hadn't laughed so hard at the sight of her that he fell over.

"I don't like the new armor," she muttered. "I feel like it's eating me whole."

Shepard didn't look at her, since it would probably make him burst out laughing, too. "Can you move?"

"Yes."

"Then deal with it."

She pouted, remembered what they were doing, and felt her stomach slide back to her feet. "Hurry up, Joker. No, wait. Don't hurry."

Shepard almost reached over to touch her arm, but they both needed to focus on the mission. She had to land the Mako on a strip one twelfth of the usual length. Joker was positive that he could get them on target and she had said that she could do it, but it was only because she couldn't afford to think in 'if's and 'maybe's.

"_Okay, Ci-Ci, we're fifty clicks from the strip. ETA thirty seconds_," Joker radioed.

Wrex smirked and reached for his shotgun. "Good. I hope Saren's there. I can't wait to make him bleed…"

"Agreed," Garrus added. "I never did like a turian who couldn't be loyal."

Tali had her omni-tool out. "Preliminary scans show increased geth activity. They may know we're coming."

"It is good to have that warning," Liara added.

Alenko leaned forward to put his head between Corinthia and Shepard. "We're all behind you, Commander. We'll do everything we can to make sure that Saren doesn't get away."

The cargo hatch opened. The brown-green surface of Ilos rushed by, the occasional ruin poking up through the trees like an infected scab. Corinthia could see the landing zone. She focused on it, trying not to see the geth Colossi waiting for them.

Shepard took a deep breath and cut off his emotion. Thankfully, he had managed to rid himself of most of it the night before, between conversing with Corinthia and the kisses they exchanged whenever one of them woke.

Whatever it took, Saren would die. Sovereign would be destroyed. This fight was going to end.

Corinthia gunned the engine, simultaneously igniting the ground thrusters to slow their fall. Her target: the clear spot just outside a large, stone drainage tunnel. The doors to the passage were rapidly closing. She wasn't doing to make it. She jerked the wheel to change their course, beheaded two Colossi, and used their bodies as a ramp to come to a stop just short of the doors.

Just out of reach, Saren stood surrounded by geth. He locked eyes with Shepard.

The Commander smirked: The turian was scared. Shepard held up his middle finger, growling, "Run."

Corinthia checked the Mako. "We're going to have to repair before we go anywhere."

"Can you get the doors open?" Shepard demanded.

She opened her omni-tool. "No. Everything here's Prothean. Would you mind killing the other geth?"

"We're on it," Garrus answered, already halfway out of the hatch with Tali and Liara on his heels.

Shepard drew his assault rifle. "I thought you got that whole beacon onto that."

"I do, but it doesn't mean that I've got the compatible tech." She started the Mako's repairs with twice as much omni-gel as necessary. "I've got the control center! It's close, but there's an army between us and it."

"Hasn't stopped us before," Wrex answered. "Shepard and I can get there and back before you've fixed this heap of junk."

"I'll stay here," Alenko offered. "Ci-Ci, you can go with them and let Tali fix the Mako."

Shepard nodded. "Ci-Ci, get me those coordinates and get ready to hack like you haven't before in your life."

Corinthia smiled. "What do you think I was doing all night?"

Wrex smirked. "Shepard."

"Shut up." She glared at the krogan before continuing. "I was writing a program to auto-hack these things and expand the—I just created a program to make them die faster," she concluded after seeing Shepard's bored and slightly annoyed look.

"_We're clear for now_," Garrus radioed.

Wrex pushed Shepard out of the way of the hatch and climbed into the open. The krogan inhaled deeply, though it was more for the sake of it. Like any quasi-intelligent creature, he had on a helmet and was breathing filtered oxygen. "Aah, the smell of impending death… This is going to be fun."

Alenko landed on the ground next to him. "I'm glad someone's going to enjoy himself."

Shepard exited the ATV, reaching back into the cabin and helping Corinthia out. "You bet your ass I am," Shepard growled. "I'm going to enjoy tearing that turian apart limb from limb."

Corinthia rolled her eyes. "Don't get too carried away. I think he'd technically supposed to go before the Council to answer for his crimes."

Shepard's eyes flashed dangerously; she could see them through his helmet. "I don't give a fuck. Right now, I'm judge, jury, and executioner, if only for what he's done to you," he said, his voice so low and dangerous that a chill ran up her spine.

Shepard hopped off the Mako. The gravel crunched gratifyingly beneath his boots. Ilos was dull, like dust, moss, and algae had settled onto every surface. Flanking every staircase was a pair of horrifying sculptures—robed, melting, ghostly forms of screaming, tortured men clawing at the armrests of their seats.

Corinthia's eyes widened. "Whoa… Prothean art…"

Shepard grabbed her arm and jerked her away from them. "No. If you want one, you can come back."

"Oh, yeah, right..." She shuddered. "Creepy, though." She scanned one and moved on.

"No wrong turns," Shepard warned. "No exploring. We kill what we have to and get to Saren as quickly as possible. I don't know what he's up to out here, but it can't be good."

Corinthia shifted her omni-tool's main process to tracking Saren. "He's moving down that drainage tunnel. The geth are filling in behind him and fortifying. Looks like he's being stopped by things, though. Debris, maybe, so we have a bit of extra time, but not a lot."

Tali bustled about the Mako. "I can have all the repairs done in ten minutes, Commander," she said. "She will be ready to leave as soon as you return."

"Alenko and I will go in as soon as the doors open and clear the way," Garrus added.

"We've got this here, Commander," Alenko finished. "We'll watch the tunnels. You three just go on."

Shepard nodded. "Move out."

Corinthia was already ahead of him, her omni-tool held out in front of her as she sprinted towards something. With little other choice, Shepard and Wrex followed. She jumped off a twelve-foot drop, rolled for a landing, and kept moving, hardly even thinking about if she could get back or not.

"Know where you're going?" Shepard radioed.

"_Yep_," was her only answer.

Shepard picked up his pace, dropping Wrex, but still unable to catch Corinthia. If anything, he was left to pick of the geth pursuing her, every so often hopping over a body of an AI she actually decided to shoot.

They wound through overgrown and spore-covered corridors and ramps, but within five minutes they broke into a large room. Shepard saw Corinthia roll between the legs of a geth colossus as she headed to the overlooking control room. Shepard slid into cover, narrowly avoiding being obliterated by a colossus's cannon.

Wrex joined him, his smirk widening into a sadistic grin as he set about taking down the colossus. Shepard focused on the smaller geth, pulling them together with a singularity and picking them off.

"_Shep, it's speaking Prothean to me. I need you up here,_" Corinthia radioed.

"I got this down here," Wrex assured the Commander. The colossus fell with a digital cry.

Shepard nodded and dodged his way up to her side in the room. There were geth scattered about the floor and she had an ancient green device open.

"You called?" he said, shooting a twitching geth in the head.

She gestured to the console. "Interpret, please."

"And you know it's Prothean because…"

"Uhm, we're on an abandoned Prothean planet? And you're the one that got the cypher thingy from the green asari."

"Oh, yeah. Right." He stepped forward to the console. Even though the symbols were foreign to him, he knew exactly what they said: OPEN/CLOSE DOORS. He selected the appropriate command and radioed Alenko. "The gates should be opening. Start down it without the Mako and clear the path as best you can. We're on our way back."

"_Understood_," Alenko answered.

Wrex jogged up into the room. "I found some more geth out back. Should I kill them?"

"We're gonna have to, since that's our way out," Corinthia replied. "Everyone's shields charged? Guns cool? Yes? Good. Let's go."

Ten minutes later, they were back at the Mako. Corinthia checked her maps. "Saren's got a pretty good lead on us. We need to move."

"I'm driving," Shepard told her.

She was four steps ahead of him and was sliding down the Mako's hatch. "Yeah, right. I have the most hours behind the wheel and I've already seen where we're going. You can also just jump out if you need to."

"_Commander,_" Alekno radioed. _"We're pretty far down the path and we haven't seen anything. I don't know what Corinthia saw before, but Saren isn't even bothering leaving patrols. Whatever he's doing, he's moving in a hurry._"

"Shit," Shepard answered. Wrex had just slipped through the hatch and Shepard was holding on to the door when Corinthia started driving. Thankfully, his armor's electromagnets turned on and he kept his grip. "DAMN IT CI-CI!"

"I have to stop to pick up everyone else!" she answered, not caring if he heard her or not. She skidded to a halt less than a minute later, allowing Shepard to drop in and the others to scramble aboard. "Everybody, hold on. I don't intend to hit the brakes."

Shepard gripped the back of her chair. "Garrus, get on the gun. Wrex, the cannon. Just get stuff out of the way. Tali, keep the ship as repaired as you can. I don't care how much omni-gel you use, just do it."

"Sir," they all answered, saluting and rearranging accordingly.

"Liara, keep an eye on the map. I want to know what Saren is up to." Shepard kept an eye on the road, focusing every ounce of his energy and concentration on the image of ripping Saren's head from his shoulders. As vicious as it was, it would satisfy the primal, revenge-driven part of him that thirsted for blood.

The Mako jolted and skidded to a halt. "Damn door," Corinthia muttered.

Shepard's gaze instantly settled on the small corridor to his right. "I'll be right back."

Corinthia turned, as if to get up, but Shepard shook his head. She sighed once he was gone. "I really, really, really hope that it's not a trap…"

Garrus and Alenko were already moving. "If it is, we'll let you know," Alenko assured her with a grin.

Less than two minutes later, the doors opened and Shepard came running back, Alenko and Garrus at his side.

"Just another box?" Corinthia asked, kicking the Mako into gear and taking off down the path.

The men exchanged looks. "No," Shepard answered. "I'll tell you later."

"There is a large accumulation of geth ahead," Liara chimed.

Corinthia leaned forward a little to see better. "And what looks like a mass relay… Looks kinda like the one on the Citadel."

"It connects to the one on the Citadel," Shepard explained. "The console was pretty clear about that. Apparently the whole thing's one big relay and Saren is opening it for the Reapers."

"Oh, marvelous," Corinthia muttered. "Well, shall we? I've always wanted to play in the fountains with an oversized personnel carrier…"

Shepard slid into his seat. "Everyone, strap in. Tali, keep the shields up. Don't even bother firing at the geth. Saren is our number one priority. No distractions allowed."

"Yessir," Corinthia answered. "Dear God, let us not blow up…"

"NOT a good time!" Shepard growled. Enemy fire echoed through the hull like rain on windows. If there wasn't the threat of impending death and doom coupled with it. The thick metal began to dent and, just when it was about to rupture, the blue light of the relay's energy pulled them in forward and shot them through space. The Mako shook and rattled, threatening to crush like an old aluminum can, and finally landed in the Presidium. There wasn't enough room to slow, let alone avoid the debris already in place, so the Mako skidded, thumped, and finally rolled until it slammed into a wall.

Corinthia groaned, opening her eyes a little. The world was upside down. Or she was. Yes, she was. Her head was pounding as all the blood rushed into it. Shepard's face blurred into her vision. "You alright?" he asked, unable to mask his worry. His hands were already working on her harness.

"Fine…" she muttered. "Did I land us wrong?"

He wrapped his arm around her waist to support her as he worked on a stuck clasp. "You crashed us into the Council Tower."

"I thought I hit some people on the way, too…"

"Geth," Shepard explained, finally managing to free her. She fell awkwardly into his arms, but he quickly released her; there would be time for relieved and victoriously passionate kissing later. "Fit for duty?"

"Was I ever?" She rubbed her temples. "I'll be fine. Where's everyone else?"

"Outside already, trying to see what's going on."

Corinthia nodded, but her mind was still dazed. "So… the Citadel is a mass relay?"

"Yeah." He hesitated before adding, "The Reapers destroyed the Protheans. They were totally annihilated. All those pods we saw on the walls of the waterway? Stasis pods for the rest of the Protheans. All drained to keep that computer powered. The Keepers have been keeping this place running and working for the Reapers."

"Ah. Beautiful." She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and finally grinned at him. Not that he could see through her helmet, but it was the thought that counted. "Ready when you are."

Shepard barely had time to be grateful she was resilient. "Get on the radio and get the Alliance, Joker, anyone you can think of over here. We need to destroy Sovereign. Killing Saren won't be enough."

She nodded. "Yeah… Probably." She checked the Mako's radio to see if it functioned. When it didn't, she took out her omni-tool. "Don't wait up for me. Take everyone else and go. I'll catch up."

"No, you're coming. Do it on your way," he ordered, helping her out of the Mako. "I need you there."

"Gotcha, Shep." She took a moment to regain her bearings before she joined Shepard and the others at the elevator. "This is Lieutenant Commander Corinthia-Imreas of the Alliance Navy. I'm with Commander Shepard in the Presidium Ward and the Council Tower. We're going in to find Saren. Sovereign needs to be disabled, repeat, Sovereign needs to be disabled. All ships attack him."

No one responded.

"Looks like we're on our own," she murmured, exchanging glances with Shepard. She pulled up a map of the area. "I bet he's in the Council Chambers… Seems like a good place to hide Prothean technology. Also, I tracked him there."

"Then let's get moving," Shepard answered. The adrenaline of the mission kicked in. Saren was within reach; Shepard could feel it. The elevator shot towards the Council Chambers.

"Probability that this thing will go all the way up: five percent," Corinthia guessed. "If the first thing I'd do is jam the elevators, you know he will."

"Don't talk like that," Shepard warned.

She shrugged. "I'm being realistic. The second the Keepers see something moving that isn't supposed to they're going to shut it down."

Within seconds, the elevator jerked to a halt, all power cut off. Shepard sighed, taking out his pistol. "It looks like we'll have to do this the hard way." He shot out the glass, watching as it serenely floated into space as if nothing had happened.

"Anyone for a nice, scenic walk up the tower?" Corinthia asked perkily, stepping out onto the side. As much as she wanted to tease Shepard about holding hands, she decided not to.

"Wrex and Alenko, stay with me," Shepard commanded. "We'll clear our own path to Saren. Garrus, you'll be right behind us and set up to take Saren out when the bastard isn't ready. Liara, keep me covered with biotics. Stay with Garrus and keep Saren contained. Ci-Ci, keep trying to get to Joker and the fleet. If you have a chance to peel off and help them, do it. Tali, you go with her, if you can. If not, you'll jump in with me, Alenko, and Wrex. Questions?"

Corinthia set her message on loop. "We have geth coming our way. Seriously, how many of these things are there?"

"Too many," Shepard replied. "Lock and load, people. We end this now."


	30. Unrevised: Only the Beginning

_**Disclaimer: **__Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I could imagine his background and actions during his military career. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of the events are my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>2 September 2183—Council Chambers, Presidium Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Shepard stepped back. "It's done."

For a brief moment, the euphoria of victory hit. They had stopped the Reapers by shutting down the Conduit (the Citadel's mass relay alter-ego). Saren was gone. The Alliance was on its way. Everything was, for once, falling into place.

Corinthia checked her omni-tool. "We've got fifteen minutes to destroy Sovereign."

Shepard gritted his teeth. "Leave it to you to ruin a moment."

"You're the one who's been worried about time. I was just trying to be—Duck!" She tackled Shepard as Saren rushed them on his hover platform. A concussion grenade hit right where they had been standing a moment before.

Corinthia rolled off Shepard into cover behind a low shrubbery wall. "Why the hell does he always have to do that?"

Shepard pushed her aside and took her place. "At least I don't have to save your ass this time."

"Not yet."

"Commander," Saren called, barely able to mask the anger in his voice, "you have been a thorn in my side for too long."

"Same here," Shepard answered. He took out his pistol and readied his biotics. "This has gone on for long enough."

"I agree. Are you ready to die?"

Six months ago, Shepard would have answered, "Are you?" and gone out, guns blazing. Something had changed in him, though. "You're going to kill us all. The Reapers aren't you allies. Didn't you listen to anything Vigil said?"

Vigil was a Prothean VI on Ilos that both Saren and Shepard had found. It had been there when the Protheans were wiped out by the Reapers, storing their memories, intelligence, and warnings.

"I did," Saren answered. The determination in his eyes faded. "Don't you understand? It can't be stopped. We can't fight them." He sounded desperate and defeated.

"Yes, we can fight. We can stop them. We have the advantage. We know they're coming. You know more about them than anyone else."

Saren twitched, like he'd just had a programming glitch.

Shepard took the opportunity. "Fight with me. This isn't over. You don't have to do this."

Saren's shoulders drooped and he took a deep breath, as if for the first time in years. "You don't know what it's like, being near one of them. I can't get it out of my mind. Sovereign has… I haven't had hold of my own mind since… No, Shepard, I can't fight this. I'm not strong enough. But you…" Saren straightened, drawing his pistol. "I was wrong about humanity: You are the future. Make sure that we have one. Thank you, Commander." He put the barrel to his chin and fired.

Corinthia squeaked in shock. "Did he just…" She gulped, paling. She'd seen death, she'd killed, but she'd never seen someone take their own life.

Shepard stood up and looked to where Saren's body fell. "Wrex, make sure he's dead."

Corinthia came up behind Shepard. "That was too easy. Really. Sovereign wouldn't just let him… You know…" She shook her head and took out her omni-tool, scanning the area over Saren's body. The turian lay prostrate in the garden beneath the Council's stations, peaceful despite the chaos around them. Wrex jumped down, put his foot on Saren's chest, and blasted his head with a shotgun. Wrex grinned up at Shepard and Corinthia. "He's dead."

Corinthia's omni-tool beeped. "Ci-Ci, this is Joker. Where the hell are you guys?"

"Funny thing, that… We're in the Citadel," she answered. "Where are you?"

"We've just arrived with the Fifth Fleet."

"Then why're you talking to me? Go kill Sovereign."

Shepard held up a hand. "Joker, if you can, save the _Destiny Ascension_."

"The Council ship?" Joker answered. "I thought you hated them."

"Just do it," Shepard snapped. Though Joker was right, Shepard was going to need the Council's help later… Assuming they destroyed Sovereign. But Shepard was taking one hurtle at a time.

The first one was conquered; Saren was dea—

"Oh, shit," Shepard muttered. A piece of debris from the battle outside hurtled towards the Council Tower, hitting two levels below the Council Chambers. The resulting jolt caused the platform Shepard and Corinthia were on to collapse into a ramp. He grabbed her, covering her protectively as they slid into the garden below.

As soon as they'd stopped moving, he propped himself up on his hands before he crushed her. "You alright?"

She didn't answer, her eyes wide in terror.

"Ci-Ci? Cassie!" he shook her shoulder.

Behind him, Saren's body twitched. The flesh burned away, revealing the blackened, blue, oganomechanical skeleton of the turian.

"Husk," Corinthia finally managed.

"I hate those things," Shepard growled. "Wrex, kill it."

Before the krogan could do a thing, the Saren-Husk crouched and leapt onto a wall. "Shepard…" Wrex called, firing his shotgun two steps behind his target. "Stop worrying about your mate and start shooting!"

* * *

><p><strong>4 September 2183—the Council Tower, Presidium Ward, the Citadel<strong>

Anderson directed the rescue team into the remains of the Council Chambers. The smoke and dust had yet to settle, even though the battle had ended almost eight hours before. Thanks to Shepard and the _Normandy, _the Council had been saved, Sovereign had been destroyed, and the day was won. However, there had been no contact from Shepard or his team, leading the Captain to believe the worst: They didn't survive. One of Sovereign's arms had crashed into the Chambers, almost ripping off the entire top of the tower. The debris from the battle had been falling onto the Wards, making travel and rescue missions difficult. Shepard was a top priority, though. He was about to become the most influential and famous human in the galaxy; they couldn't let him go unfound.

Anderson found Wrex first. The krogan was leaning against a fallen statue, almost asleep. He opened one eye when the Captain approached.

"What happened?" Anderson asked.

Wrex let out a slow breath. "Saren's dead."

"Where are Corinthia and Shepard?"

Wrex shook his head, closing his eyes again. Anderson's stomach dropped a little. "Keep looking," he ordered.

The party fanned out, trying to weave their way through the debris. Sovereign's arm stabbed into the gardens like a stake. From all the devastation around, there was little way anyone could have survived.

"I have Commander Corinthia!" one of the team called. He helped her out from under a slab of rock. She was bleeding, bruised, and battered, but alive. "It's alright, Commander. You're safe now."

"Where's Shepard?" she demanded weakly, clinging to the rescuer. She could barely stand.

"You need to sit down." The man forced her to the ground and applied a dose of medi-gel. He scanned her with his omni-tool. "You've got some fractured ribs, broken wrist…"

"Whatever." She waved him off and tried to stand. Her knees buckled. "Damn it…"

"You have a broken leg, too," the rescuer continued. "I take it that slab of rock fell on you."

She ignored him. "SHEPARD!"

"We haven't found him, yet."

"Then you aren't looking hard enough." She took out her omni-tool and started scanning the area. "What the hell… Ooh… Sovereign…" She gritted her teeth and started cutting through the fields still being emitted by the fallen Reaper. "Note to self: NEVER invent anything sentient, because once it's smarter than me…" She trailed off and bashed her omni-tool into the floor. Of course, that was the arm with the broken wrist. She winced and blinked back tears.

Anderson squinted through the haze. A shadowy figure was clambering over rocks and coming steadily towards them. "Someone's coming…"

Corinthia looked over. "Shepard!" She sprinted to him, ignoring the pain and falling over several times. He closed the distance between them, catching her in his arms and kissing her with reckless abandon. Her feet dangled a good foot off the ground. She pulled away and grabbed his collar. "Don't EVER do that to me again," she hissed, "or I will bring you back from the dead to kick your ass back to Hell. You got it?"

He grinned. "God, I love you…" He kissed her playfully and carried her back to Anderson. "Captain."

"Shepard," Anderson answered, chuckling at the sight. Shepard was holding Corinthia with one arm, wrapped around her thighs, and carrying a pistol in the other. With a torn, busty, skin-tight red dress and a nice pair of heels to match, she'd look the part of the just-rescued damsel in distress. "Somehow I knew you wouldn't be dead."

"Yeah, well, at least someone's happy to see me," Shepard answered.

"Hey," Corinthia protested, bopping him on the head.

"Do that again and I'll spank you."

"That's threatening a fellow officer," she warned. "That's punishable by—"

"Ci-Ci?"

"Hm?"

"No."

She blushed and smiled bashfully at Anderson.

"You two are going to get into a lot of trouble," Anderson murmured.

"With all due respect, fuck them," Shepard answered. "Let them try and court martial us. I have more important things to do. C'mon, Wrex."

"You're going to have to wait," Anderson interrupted, stepping in Shepard's way. Corinthia sighed and shifted to lean over Shepard's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "The Council wants to see you."

"To thank me for saving their asses? I don't have time for that!"

"Please, Commander. It will help get you both out of trouble."

Shepard snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Listen, I'll keep quiet about the two of you. It isn't technically against regulation, but if the Alliance really wants to discredit you, they're going to have more than enough evidence. Please, Shepard, just take five minutes and let the Council actually talk to you. Then you both can go get some rest. Corinthia, at least, needs some medical attention."

Shepard's mind was already on the battles ahead of him. "Whatever. Are they here?"

"They will be shortly. You may want to put Ci-Ci down before we see them."

Shepard flipped her off his shoulder so that she could hobble next to him. She winced, but swallowed the pain and tried to act like she didn't care. It was hard, though. All of her other major wounds had rendered her unconscious or hadn't affected her movement. A bad omni-tool arm and gimpy leg made everything difficult. But at least she had Shepard to carry her around for a while.

Then again, he was limping slightly, too. There was no way he'd gotten out of that unscathed. "You alright?" she murmured.

"Fine," he growled. "I'll have the doc patch me up after you." He was pretty sure that he also had broken bones (or, at least, broken ribs, from the way it hurt to breathe) and he needed to sleep for about twenty-four hours to recover from the ordeal he'd just been through. But he didn't have time to be injured or tired. The Reapers weren't going to stop coming because he destroyed one and stopped the Conduit from opening. They'd find another way.

He'd stop them.

* * *

><p><strong>26 September 2183—Presidium Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Shepard knocked on Corinthia's door. How the hell she'd managed to afford a place this nice, he had no idea, but then again, Shepard owned an apartment on Intai'sei in the Argos Rho system. He hadn't been there since he got it, but he had it. He wasn't really sure what it meant to have a home to go to.

Corinthia opened the door. She looked strange in her casual clothes (black cargo pants and a t-shirt printed with skulls), which didn't match her smile at all. "Hey…"

He raised an eyebrow. She sounded and looked like someone had died. "What's wrong?"

She gestured for him to come in. Her apartment was an odd conglomeration of artistic, modern, and antique furniture with posters and expensively framed art on the walls. From the way that there was nothing superfluous on the surfaces, and knowing that she was something of a slob, she must have just finished cleaning to impress him.

"Want something to drink?" she asked.

"You're avoiding the question." He sat heavily on one of the sofas, putting his arm out to indicate that she should sit next to him.

She did, sitting sideways and leaning against his chest. "The Council approved my Spectre status today."

After the Battle of the Citadel three weeks earlier, Corinthia and Shepard were forced to take a week's leave, which they spent planning their next move to find the rest of the Reapers and not relaxing at all (they'd only kissed once a day, by Corinthia's count, and she had not had her Shepard quota filled; he still hadn't made it up, but she'd make him). For saving the Council and the Citadel, humanity was granted a seat on the Council and Corinthia was put up for Spectre status. Though she hadn't wanted it before, she didn't argue this time.

"Congratulations," he murmured, kissing her head, "but you don't sound happy."

"I am. Sorta… It's going to make things a lot easier for us."

"I don't like your tone."

She took a deep breath. "I submitted my resignation this morning. I'm leaving the Alliance."

Shepard stood up. She fell over, legs flying up comically into the air. "WHAT?" he shouted.

She righted herself. "What did you expect me to do? I was going to be reassigned and I couldn't change the orders without getting us into more trouble than we were already in." Anderson, now an Admiral, had agreed to let Corinthia and Shepard's romance stay secret if she agreed to a transfer. She had accepted the change, but hadn't had the heart to tell Shepard until she figured out how to fix the problem. She leaned forward. "Look, this way I can do whatever I want to."

"You know what happens when you work on your own. You get hurt. I don't want that to happen."

She rolled her eyes. "Protective doesn't suit you, John. I _can_ take care of myself, believe it or not. I just… can't when I've got you to come and save me. It makes me not try, you know? I kinda like you swooping in, guns blazing, armor sparkling… But that can't keep happening. We've got Reapers to worry about. I don't need you worrying about me."

"And you're going to help that by leaving?"

"You can't do this alone. You're going to need all the allies you can get. Having another Spectre on your side is going to be useful. I can get my own team and we can double the work—or I can do all those errands that the Alliance keeps making you run, you know? It's going to be better this way. Really. I thought this through. We don't know where to start hunting the Reapers. If it's just you looking, then we probably won't finish in time." She hesitated before adding, "I'm not breaking up with you."

"Sure as hell sounds like it."

She grabbed his hands. "You don't have to worry about losing me. Ever. You got that? I love you. That isn't about to change. I've seen every side of you—okay, well, all of your bad sides—and I still do. Seeing each other every few weeks is going to be hard, but we'd have had to get used to it eventually. I wasn't going to stay with the Alliance forever. If the whole Saren thing had happened, I would've left after the _Normandy's _maiden voyage. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to worry you."

"Yeah, well, good job with that." He ran a hand over his head. "I probably won't be able to concentrate."

"Yes you will. You have soldier mode, you know? Just switch it on and you won't even think about me."

"I'll need my hacker."

"You have Tali."

"And a sniper."

"Garrus."

"And my girlfriend."

"Video link."

"In person."

"Look at it as a way to make chastity easier."

He gritted his teeth and pulled his hands out of hers.

"It's already done," she continued. "I have one last mission to Ilos to recover Vigil and then I can do whatever I want. Just call and I'll be there, alright? We still have those omni-tool links. They'll work anywhere through anything." She smiled. "It'll be okay, you know?"

He shook his head. He wanted her nearby so that he could watch over her. He wanted her safe; being a Spectre was not safe. She got into trouble all the time and got hurt on nearly every single mission. She had more scars than he did. He would never forgive himself if she died (or was injured or something) and he hadn't been there to save her.

"John?"

He glared at her and stormed out. She rubbed her eyes. She'd known that he'd react badly. For all his bad assery, he was a pure romantic at heart (not to mention that he loved to cuddle). He believed that she was a damsel in distress and would always be one. She was tougher than he thought. Hell, she'd lived through everything that he had. Yes, she came out more scathed than he did, but that was only because she had been oblivious to the danger.

She wasn't anymore. She knew what it would take to succeed. Unlike Shepard, she believed that duty came before love. She wanted them to have a galaxy to live in once it was all over, not just share stolen moments in his cabin.

He'd come round, though. He usually let her win and, frankly, she believed that she really was right. Only time would tell for certain.


	31. Unrevised: The Impossible

_**Disclaimer: **__Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I could imagine his background and actions during his military career. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of the events are my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>5 October 2183—Shepard's Quarters, <strong>_**SSV Normandy**_**, orbiting Alchera, Amada System, Omega Nebula**

Shepard had probably had the worst ten days of his life. He was still pissed at Corinthia, she hadn't tried to contact him, she wasn't assigned to the _Normandy_, Joker was teasing him constantly, his entire squad seemed tense, and he was hunting down geth instead of the Reapers. The Alliance and Council had shafted him. They said that there wasn't a Reaper threat, that Shepard had eliminated it with Sovereign.

For the first time in his life, Shepard doubted that he was in the right place. Corinthia may have had the right idea, leaving the Alliance for the Spectres. He'd always imagined that he'd end up as some kind of admiral, but if he was going to have to jump through hoops to get there, he wanted nothing to do with it. If he hadn't spent all that time hunting down Cerberus, he might have even considered joining them. Then again, they didn't forgive easily and wouldn't have taken him even if they wanted him.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He missed Corinthia. A lot. More than he'd thought possible. He should probably apologize and tell her that she was right. It was what she wanted to hear, at least, and then he'd have one less thing to worry about. Sort of. Not really. He still didn't trust her out on her own, but it was something he was going to have to get used to, whether he liked it or not.

As he reached to open their vid link, the _Normandy _jolted hard enough to knock him out of his chair. "What the fuck…?" he breathed.

The alarm sirens blared, casting a dangerous red glow on the walls. People screamed and pounded through the hallways.

"Shit."

* * *

><p>Shepard could hear his heartbeat and his panicked breaths. His mind raced, trying to find a way out of this mess, but there wasn't one.<p>

He was going to die.

He watched in horror as the unknown attackers' ship blasted the _Normandy _into pieces. The force of the blow pushed Shepard farther into the void and, worse, towards the atmosphere of Alchera.

His life didn't flash before his eyes; Corinthia did. He felt like a sap, but if she was going to be the last thing he saw, fine. If only he'd had the chance to apologize…

Something ripped. He started to choke. His armor depressurized and started leaking air. He clawed at his throat, trying to find the hole. He felt the heat of the atmosphere as he started reentry. Suffocation was a better death than burning to a crisp or having his blood boil from the vacuum of space.

_Damn stupid way to die_, he thought. _I hope Joker's grateful. I did this to save his ass._

His heart-rate slowed. His vision spotted and turned to the deepest darkness.

Commander Shepard was dead.

* * *

><p><strong>7 November 2183—Arlington Cemetery, Earth, Sol System<strong>

Corinthia stood, feeling out of place amongst all the military personal. She'd left the Alliance, so she couldn't wear her dress blues and was left to don a black dress, hat, and veil like someone out of an old movie. They were calling her Shepard's widow, just to make things easier on the press and for the legal issues.

Garrus, Alenko, Wrex, and Anderson carried Shepard's empty coffin, draped with the blue Alliance flag. Everyone stood up, saluting if they were military or just looking somber if they weren't. Even the Council had deemed to appear (as holograms, but still, it was a nice gesture). Liara and Tali stood behind Corinthia, fighting tears. Shepard had been the idealistic commander and tried to get everyone off the _Normandy_ before it was destroyed. He did his duty and went down with the ship.

Corinthia took a steadying breath as she watched the casket, trying not to think about the fact that it was empty. Part of her believed that he had survived, but the rest of her knew that there was no way that it was possible. His body had entered the atmosphere. He'd only been in an envirosuit and, from what Joker said, his life-support hose had been cut. His blood had boiled as he died of asphyxiation.

It took all her power to keep watching as they bore the coffin towards its final resting place. Arlington Cemetery looked as morose as every with its white headstones, manicured green grass, and large trees to shade the graves. Corinthia hated it. Joker, Liara, Tali, and Dr. Chakwas stood behind her, touching her arm, hand, or shoulder to let her know that she wasn't alone. Every last member of the Normandy's crew was ready to follow her into hell, if she asked it, to hunt down the Reapers.

"It's not fair…" Liara breathed.

The pall bearers stopped before the grave, following Anderson's orders to set the coffin down and fold the flag.

Corinthia fought back sobs. She'd been dreaming, thinking that he would show up, alive with another dashing scar, and sweep her off her feet like nothing had changed. She wanted to be angy at him, but she couldn't. She was mad at herself. If she hadn't left the Alliance for the Spectres... If she had been on the _Normandy_, she could've saved him. She could've pulled him back in, gotten Joker herself, something... Why had she left him? Why hadn't she just sucked it up and hacked her way back onto Shepard's crew? She had the opportunity to join him as a Spectre, too; she wasn't leaving for Ilos for another three days. She could've saved him or stopped him or something.

Corinthia gulped. If she opened her mouth, she'd start wailing and crying again. She's spent the last month crying herself to sleep, crying herself awake, crying as she arranged the funeral, crying at anything that reminded her of him… She didn't know how her body could keep making the tears, but it did. More were coming, too.

A troop of marines stood at attention, guns ready for the salute. The pall bearers set down the coffin and started folding the flag. It was like they were folding up every bit of him into a neat triangle, showing only the best part of him to the world, but not the whole truth. She wanted him all. Anderson held the folded flag out to her. She accepted it, trying to keep her hands steady, and held it close to her chest. Her legs were turning into jelly, unaided as the Marines started the twenty-one gun salute and the pall bearers lowered the casket into the grave.

Corinthia didn't know what was happening. She clutched the flag's stiff fabric, feeling every coarse thread, watching the world go by, sometimes slow and sometimes as super-speed. People began filing out, throwing a flower into the grave and murmuring their condolences to Corinthia. Why flowers? He hated flowers. He wasn't sappy like that. It didn't represent him at all.

Eventually, almost everyone was gone. Shepard's team and Anderson remained. Joker hobbled over. "I'm so sorry, Ci-Ci…" he said hopelessly. "This is my fault."

She shook her head. "He was too much of a damned hero for his own good." Her voice rasped hollowly, like a witch. She swallowed. "Don't blame yourself."

Joker patted her shoulder. "Thanks."

No one said anything else. Honestly, they didn't know what they could say that hadn't already been said. They'd seen so much death, but to have the one person they never thought would die actually die was… unbearable.

Corinthia shuddered. Her knees finally gave in and she fell to the ground with a dull thud. The cold fall dew soaked into her clothes, chilling her knees. She started sobbing like a child, but she had never really been a woman to begin with. She couldn't speak, but she wanted to shout "WHY?" at the top of her lungs. She had, again, lost the only thing she really cared about. Was she just fated to never, ever be able to keep something she loved for more than a few years?

Liara embraced her. Somehow, it knocked Corinthia back into reality. She swallowed her sobs and shakily drew herself to her feet. "Sorry about that," she muttered.

Anderson put a hand on her shoulder. "I understand, Ci-Ci. We all do."

She nodded. "Now what?"

Her question was more philosophical than specific, but that didn't stop people from answering.

"You move on," Alenko said. "It won't be easy, but it's what you've got to do."

"And forget him?"

"I think that's impossible. This isn't easy for any of us, but we can't dwell on what we've lost."

Corinthia knew he was right, but she wanted to keep pouting. "If you say so…"

Wrex awkwardly clapped her back. "Want a drink?"

"No thanks. I've got work to do."

Everyone stared at her in disbelief. "I thought you'd take a vacation," Anderson said. "You never did—"

"I'm a Spectre, sir. My job doesn't stop just because someone died. I'm going to Ilos with you. That isn't changing." Her eyes narrowed in determination. Liara shuddered. Some part of Corinthia had died with Shepard, or maybe all of her had. The woman standing before them wasn't the girl telling "that's what she said" jokes months before.

Liara frowned. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No." Corinthia smiled. "Thank you all for coming. I… Thanks." She left without another word.

"I'm worried," Liara murmured. "She isn't herself."

"What did you expect?" Wrex answered. "You squishy species don't deal well with emotions."

"At least we have them," Liara snapped.

Anderson shook his head. "I think it's best if we all leave."

They nodded and dispersed, a feeling of hopelessness settling into their hearts. Without Shepard, the galaxy wouldn't last much longer.

* * *

><p><strong>9 November 2183—Corinthia's Home, Presidium Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Corinthia opened her door only to find a man sitting on her sofa. He was older, with grey hair, a tailored suit, and eyes like Saren's. He lifted a cigarette to his mouth and inhaled deeply, releasing the smoke through his nose. Strangely, though, she couldn't smell the stench of tobacco. "Commander Corinthia?"

She reached for her pistol. "Who wants to know?"

"That isn't important."

"You're sitting in my house and smoking. It sure as hell is."

"I'm here representing Cerberus."

She drew her gun and pointed it at his forehead. "Then give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now?"

He chuckled. "I have a proposition for you. You can kill me after you hear it."

"You have thirty seconds."

"The Council doesn't believe that there are more Reapers. I do. They won't let you continue your investigation, just like they didn't let Shepard. If you join us, I'll give you the funding to hunt the Reapers down and stop this threat. You'll get anything you want."

"Can you bring Shepard back?"

He cocked his head to one side. "I think you know the answer to that question."

"Then fuck you." She shot. The bullet went right through his head and shattered the window behind him. He didn't move, flinch or bleed. "What the hell?" she gasped. "A hologram?"

"I thought you might try something," he answered. "You'll regret this, Commander."

The Illusive Man cut off the transmission with a sigh, taking another deep drag of his cigarette. He was sitting comfortably in his secret base, watching a star die before him. He had known that Corinthia would never agree to his request, but it had been his only chance.

Well, maybe not anymore.

"Miranda," he started.

A dark-haired, curvy woman in a skin-tight catsuit came out of the shadows. "Yes, sir?" she answered, Australian accent crisp and cold.

"Commander Corinthia raised an interesting point. Would it be possible to bring Shepard back?"

"With enough money and the right technology, yes."

"Then do it. Find his body. You'll have everything you need."

"I understand, sir."

He extinguished his cigarette in the ashtray on his armrest. "Then let's get started."


	32. Unrevised: Two Years

**_Disclaimer: _**_Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I could imagine his background and actions during his military career. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of the events are my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>5 April 2184—Illium, Tasale System, Crescent Nebula<strong>

Corinthia ordered another drink. She needed it. Somehow, she'd managed to survive for six months without him. It helped that she dreamed about him every night, coming home alive and well, embracing her, only to have her heart shattered when she woke and found herself alone in the cold world.

"Fuck love," she muttered. She raised her glass a little. "Here's to you, Shep."

The bartender, an asari matron, leaned on the counter. "You alright, honey?"

Corinthia shook her head shortly.

"Bad day?"

"Bad life."

"Moping in here won't change anything."

Corinthia smirked. "Believe me, I know." She drained the rest of her drink. "This was for the Fallen."

The asari raised an eyebrow. "You some kind of soldier?"

"Used to be. Now I'm something better."

The bartender snorted. "Not what I'd call a mercenary."

Corinthia paid for her drink. "Me neither. Thanks for the drinks." She pulled on her jacket and left.

Illium was the asari-run center of trade for most of the galaxy. Most of the planet was covered with skyscrapers, glowing orange against the purple sky. The money stayed in the upper floors, where most legitimate businesses ran, while the dirt and thugs ruled the ground.

Corinthia leaned against a railing, looking at the skyline. She'd been on Illium for a month and she had yet to actually take a breath and look at the planet. "Gilded," she murmured, "like everything else."

Her omni-tool flared to life. She glanced at it, sighed, and dragged it in front of her. "Yes, Liara?"

"We're in business," the asari answered breathlessly. "I have it all set up. We have a showroom here, the Citadel, and Earth. All are fully staffed and ready to open next week."

"Awesome."

"You don't sound happy."

"Six months, Liara."

"Already? Oh, I'm sorry Ci-Ci. I didn't mean to be insensitive."

"It's fine, Liara." Corinthia rubbed her eyes wearily. Corinthia had spent the last six months keeping herself so busy that she didn't have time to dwell on the past. She had only stopped to get a drink because she'd heard a news report talking about the measures different planets were taking to commemorate Shepard—like a memorial flame on Torfan. The idea of it was ridiculous, in her opinion, since that was the last place that he'd want remembered or where he'd want to be remembered for. Hopefully, they'd be tactful enough to leave his honorary title "the Butcher of Torfan" off the plaque. Even so, it was less the news of that happening and rather the fact that they were showing a picture of him that made her choke. Worse, it had been the ceremony giving them Stars of Terra eight years before (which was probably the only time that they were ever recorded by the media). That day marked the beginning of their friendship. All of her repressed emotions had come flooding back along with the memories of their friendship. She was trying to fight them back into their box in the recesses of her mind. It wasn't working.

"Do you want to come over?" Liara asked.

After the _Normandy'_s crew had been disbanded, Liara had come to her home, Illium, where she had started to hunt down the Shadow Broker. Though the asari never gave her reasons for doing so, Corinthia had helped Liara set up a network of contacts so that the former scientist could enter the information industry. They had been working together ever since, trading information.

"It's better if I don't," Corinthia answered. "You don't need a Spectre around."

Liara understood what Corinthia wasn't saying. In order to fund Liara's operation, they needed money. The used their savings to go to Ilos, recover Prothean artifacts, and set up art galleries to sell them through. Everything was in Liara's name, since she was technically just a businesswoman on Illium and Spectres weren't supposed to be business investors, but Corinthia (because she could/had always wanted to) had figured out how to launder the money so that no one could trace it.

"I have another piece of good news," Liara continued. "I've translated everything I can from Vigil. There isn't much there beyond a history of their people, but it was only up until before the first Reaper strike. There was a recording of the conversation Shepard had with it, but not much else."

Corinthia kicked the railing. "Damn it!"

"Maybe you can look at it again, see what you can recover. I was only translating what information you had initially decrypted. The information on the Reapers was still locked… I don't know, Ci-Ci. I wish that I could've done more…"

"It's fine, Liara. Send me what you've got, regardless. I'll work more on Vigil when I have the chance, see what I can do…"

Corinthia tried not to sound disappointed. She'd spent six months hunting down vague leads about large, unknown ships, but none were Reapers. Her last options were the Shadow Broker himself or Cerberus. The terrorists were, in many ways, the Shadow Broker's main rivals. Corinthia had turned both parties down before and wasn't going to go back on her word. Of course, she could just hack Cerberus and find out what they knew. They were constantly upgrading their security, so she constantly had to rethink her hacking methods. She hadn't tried to get into their databases since Shepard had destroyed their research bases, but there was no time like the present.

"Are you there?" Liara asked.

"Yeah, I'm here. Listen, you wouldn't happen to know of any Cerberus activity around here, would you?"

"What are you planning?"

"Planning? Are you kidding me? I make this up as I go along."

"Please, take my advice: Don't go after them. They aren't all bad."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "What's gotten into you, Liara? Do I need to tell you about their pro-human racist tendencies?"

"It's not that. They've just… well, they've actually helped me in the past."

"Liara," Corinthia warned, "what aren't you telling me?"

Liara chuckled. "I'm an information broker. You can't expect me to tell you everything."

"This is important, Liara. I promise I won't kill everyone unless they attack me first. Unlike some people we know, I can be subtle."

"Perhaps that's changed since our last mission."

"You have no idea. So, about that information…?"

Liara sighed. "Alright, but just this once."

"I knew I put you in business for a reason."

Liara shook her head. "This is a quid pro quo. I will expect repayment."

"And you'll get it, don't worry. I promise I won't kill anyone unless they try and kill me, okay?"

"That will have to do. Please, don't be reckless. I don't want to lose you as well."

"Liara…"

"I'm sorry, Ci-Ci, but losing one friend is hard enough. I can't do it again."

Corinthia chuckled. "You won't have to."

* * *

><p><strong>17 August 2184—the Terminus Systems, Unknown Location<strong>

The Illusive Man took a long drag from his cigarette. "Miranda, give me some good news."

"Restoration is in progress. We should have vital signs in a few more weeks."

"That's good to hear." He exhaled a long string of smoke through his nose. "We have another problem."

"It's nothing I can't handle."

"I'm afraid this time you might not be able to. They wiped out the Kronos Cell already."

Miranda blanched. "That's impossible… How many died?"

"Everyone. The facility is destroyed and all the information there is gone and there's evidence that they managed to access the back-ups here. I'm going to have to increase our security measures."

Miranda's mind raced. "Are we compromised?"

"It's hard to say. We'll know soon enough. Take every measure to ensure your security."

"It's already done, sir. End transmission."

The Illusive Man leaned back, finishing his cigarette with one long drag. He hated it when people interfered with his plans. This… hunter had been an unexpected addition to an already serious situation. After Corinthia had turned down his offer, he'd had no choice but to find a way to return Shepard to life. Now that, too, was compromised. The Kronos Cell had been responsible for training a new army of completely loyal soldiers. Much of the experimentation Shepard had disrupted and destroyed had been by the Kronos Cell, but that had been an annoyance rather than a true problem. Most of Kronos's resources had been diverted into the Lazarus Project under Miranda's guidance, but that hardly lessened the blow.

He lit another cigarette. It was a personal insult that this hunter had annihilated a Cell and he had no idea who was responsible. He prided himself on being informed of everything that happened in the Galaxy. He intended to stay that way at any cost.

On a hunch, he checked into Commander Corinthia-Imreas's activities. Even after she'd declined helping him, he'd been having her followed. Her investigation into the Reapers had helped him start his own. So far, she'd discovered that the Reapers were using the Collectors and geth as henchmen. Worse, the Collectors had started abducting entire colonies. Something was starting. The Illusive Man wanted to know what and having someone interfere with his operations was one of the last things he needed. If he was careful, he might still be able to get Corinthia to help him. He could leak her information, set her up with allies… She _had_ mentioned finding some help. So far, she only had Liara T'Soni and Shepard's old crew, but she had never once called on any of them. Either she didn't want help or she was planning something else.

He opened the holonet and began searching for mercenaries. Everyone had a price. He already knew Corinthia's and, hopefully, it wouldn't be long before he'd be able to have her loyalty as well. With Corinthia and Shepard on his side, humanity couldn't lose.

* * *

><p><strong>28 November 2184—Ruined Reaper, Terminus Systems<strong>

Corinthia skidded into cover. Of all the stupid things she could've done, she had walked into an ambush by Shadow Broker agents. Had Liara warned her? Yes. Had she listened? Of course not. She had been following the Collectors and expected an ambush from them.

But, that was a cyclical argument. The Collectors were working with the Shadow Broker. The traditionally neutral party had taken a side, which explained Liara's determined hunt.

Corinthia took out her omni-tool. She had no less than ten agents chasing her, not to mention the Collectors in front of her and the mercenaries lying in wait for her by the Mass Relay. Cerberus had finally figured out that it was her eradicating their cells and had sent, to date, four assassins after her with a fifth on the way.

She was in trouble.

She leaned her head back against the wall, muttering, "What would Shepard do?" She smirked. "Grenade." Of course, she'd had it engrained into her to never carry anything explosive. "Thanks, Shep," she muttered.

The room shook. The ship was going to get sucked into the gas giant it orbited. "Damn it… Why the hell did they have to corner me here?"

She'd been investigating a derelict Reaper. Her findings were not good. Despite having been destroyed by the Protheans, it was still capable of indoctrination of the weak minded. Being paranoid, she never spent more than twelve hours in one at a time. Her timer was going to go off in five minutes and she was starting to feel… something at the back of her mind, like nails on a chalkboard in a different room.

She checked her exits. The best way through was through the Collector squad. She'd risk it.

She turned on her cloaking device. The only reason she hadn't before was because she needed her omni-tool to do other things. If she left, gun blazing, she could get away without hacking.

The Shadow Broker agents fanned out through the room. "She's in here somewhere…" the leader murmured. "Remember: we need her alive and intact."

Corinthia had yet to figure out what they wanted with her, besides revenge. Between chasing Collectors, researching the Reapers, and hunting Cerberus Cells, she and Liara had been systematically eliminating Shadow Broker agents as they tried to find the elusive leader himself. That was enough to warrant several seven figure bounties, but each was for her alive; she was worthless dead.

Her eyes widened. Now, there was an idea…

She quickly wove through the room towards the Collectors, wondering if they'd see through her cloaking device. Her technology was advanced, but the Collectors weren't like any kind of enemy she'd ever faced before. They had found the _Normandy_ and ripped it to shreds, killing Shepard and twenty other crewmembers in the process.

Sure enough, almost as soon as she was in the room, they turned towards her. Without being able to see her, they simply raised their weapons and started clicking eerily. Each one had a triangular head with multiple eyes, mantis-like arms and legs, with brown, leathery skin. One glowed gold, like the broken cracks of a hardening river of lava. Its voice deepened metallically, like Sovereign's.

"You have crossed me for the last time, Commander. You cannot stop us!"

She would've answered ("Just watch me"), but until they started shooting at her, she was going to remain silent. Her omni-tool buzzed, flickered, and turned off, her cloaking device with it. "Shit."

The Collectors raised their weapons. She sprinted through the room, shots cutting into her armor without her shields to protect her. How the hell had they managed to shut down her omni-tool? Or had the Reaper done something to her?

She'd have time to sort that out later. Right now, escape was her first priority.

Shouts echoed through the hallways as the Shadow Broker agents caught up to her. She could see the exit. It seemed to get farther away with every step she took. The walls closed in oppressively like they were trying to hold her in. Fingers wrapped around the walkways, reaching for her ankles.

"HUSKS?" she gasped, reaching for her shotgun and wishing more than ever that Shepard was there with his biotic bowling ball. "You have got to be kidding me…"

A bullet found a weak spot in her armor and embedded itself in her shoulder. Another followed suit in her lower back. She staggered from the force and swallowed the pain, wishing it was like Elysium, when she'd been shot and hadn't noticed. Then again, she hadn't been able to feel much of anything then; the concussion of the blast which induced her facial scars had dulled her sense of touch for hours.

Her ship was close. She lost precious seconds as she opened the door manually and slipped inside.

The lead Collector stalked out of the opening. "You cannot escape!" it growled. "I am Harbinger. You will not stop us!"

Corinthia started the engines. "C'mon…"

"Bring her alive," Harbinger ordered. The Shadow Broker agents nodded, opening their omni-tools to try and hack the door open. She drew her pistol and shot the controls, buying herself a few minutes. She opened her radio and sent out a general distress call on all military channels. Even though she didn't need them to come save her, they would find the derelict Reaper instead (and therefore solid proof of their existence).

"Work faster!" the mercenary leader, a vicious-looking batarian, ordered, barring his needle-like teeth. "I want to see her bleed."

The ship shifted, pulling away from the dock. The agents opened fire.

"Fools! I said that I want her alive!" Harbinger shouted. He shot one of the offending agents in the forehead. "Get your ship and chase her."

They followed their orders without hesitation. Harbinger looked on, eyes unblinking as he stared at Corinthia's ship. She headed out of the system, towards the nearest Mass Relay, and never once tried to avoid the Shadow Broker agents' ship's shots. Her transport fumed smoke and leaked air. The engines sputtered. If the incompetent fools tried to cripple it more, they would kill her.

Harbinger felt a surge of anger as they did exactly what he feared. The final shot hit the fuel tanks and the small craft exploded. Harbinger turned his back to the scene. He had wanted Corinthia alive, but if she was dead, that was still a good thing. Like Shepard, she was one of the only things standing between the Reapers and galactic domination. No, not domination; extermination.

"Tell your Shadow Broker to release the news that Commander Corinthia is dead," Harbinger ordered. "Search for her body. If you find any part of it, I want it."

* * *

><p><strong>15 January 2185—Unknown Location, Terminus Systems<strong>

The Illusive Man had smoked a pack of cigarettes and the day had barely started. After a long investigation, the Council had declared Corinthia dead. The attacks on the Cerberus Cells had tripled in intensity. All of his attempts to find the perpetrator had failed. He had been certain that it was Corinthia, that she had somehow escaped death and continued to hound him, but it wasn't to be. Her body either had been vaporized or she had vanished into thin air. She was good, but not that good. Even Shepard hadn't escaped death.

Speaking of which… He opened a communication channel. It was almost immediately answered. "Miranda, give me some good news."

Miranda almost smiled. "We've done it. Shepard's alive."

"How long before we can use him?"

"I need to run some more tests to ensure that he has full mental capacity and memory retention." She turned as alarms whirred. "That can't be right..."

"Is that panic I detect in your voice, Miranda?"

She started shouting orders. The Illusive Man looked on, bemused. Miranda came back a few moments later, looking a little disheveled. "What happened?"

"He regained consciousness. This wasn't supposed to happen for another three weeks."

"Were the signs good?"

"His brain activity was off the charts."

"Well, then, I don't see why this is a problem. We've made him stronger, smarter, and better than ever before."

"Are you sure that you don't want me to put in a control chip?"

"Positive. He needs to be exactly like he was."

Miranda nodded. "That's another problem."

"So you heard about Corinthia." They were hoping to use her as leverage to keep Shepard on their side. "This might not actually be a problem. Having her gone removes the temptation for him to leave our service."

"It will also make him a liability. You know as well as I do that she was one of the things that kept him from causing another Torfan."

The Illusive Man smirked. "That won't be a problem so long as he gets the job done."

"I hope you're right. He almost knocked out Wilson. I've had to double the sedative dose."

The Illusive Man chuckled. "That's what I like to hear. I'll make the arrangements. Everything will be ready."

"What if he doesn't agree to help us? What if he wants to go back to the Alliance?"

"Leave that to me. He won't be able to refuse."

Miranda raised an eyebrow. "She's not next, is she?"

The Illusive Man smiled enigmatically.

Miranda sighed and ended the transmission. When he smiled like that, she did not want to be around to see, hear, or be pulled into the consequences. Though loyal to Cerberus, she had more than enough work to do without having to resurrect another enemy, especially one who would ultimately steal Cerberus's greatest investment and asset (namely Shepard).

Whatever happened, her life was not going to get any easier. If Shepard was anything like his reputation, he would be near impossible to control and would probably destroy any and everything he came into contact with, Cerberus included. If they were lucky, his annihilation streak would transfer to the Collectors.

_If_.


	33. Unrevised: Awakening

**_Disclaimer: _**_Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I could imagine his background and actions during his military career. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of the events are my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>11 April 2185—Lazarus Project Facility, Terminus Systems<strong>

Shepard woke to sirens blaring. His head was pounding, every inch of his body hurt, and he was again in the middle of an emergency. Didn't he just dream this?

"Commander Shepard. Commander Shepard! Wake up!"

He opened his eyes. It wasn't Corinthia talking; she couldn't do an Australian accent. No one on the _Normandy_ had one, either. And it didn't have white ceilings.

"What the fuck?" he muttered. The moment he did, his jaw popped out of socket. He rubbed it painfully until it returned to its place. "Who the hell are you?"

"That's not important right now. You have to get out of there and find me. The facility is under attack."

A wave of déjà vu washed over Shepard. The _Normandy_. Joker. Space. Dying…

He'd died. Or, at least, he felt like he had. Worse, things were starting off exactly like he'd imagined Hell. A cold bitch was talking to him, he didn't have a gun or armor, he was under attack, and Corinthia was nowhere to be seen.

"What the fuck happened to me?"

"Please, Commander. There's a gun and armor in the locker."

He gritted his teeth. "Definitely Hell…" He didn't have anything against women, really, but this one sounded like a witch. Or maybe he was just used to Ci-Ci's perkiness, Liara's naivety, or Tali's technical jargon. Either way, he already knew that he didn't like her.

He found the gun, but it was missing a thermal clip. Since when had guns needed them replaced? He'd deal with it later. "Where's my stuff?"

"Irrelevant. Please, Commander, there isn't much time."

"Give me your location."

"That's—"

"Put it on my omni-tool. Now."

"You're in no position to give orders."

"I thought I was saving your ass."

"I never said anything about that."

"Then why the hell am I trying to get to you?"

"That isn't important. What is important is keeping you alive."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. There was no way that he was going to get anything out of this woman. At this point, aside from the throbbing pain ripping through his body with every siren whir, he was convinced that he was in Hell and he was not going to roll over and take it.

"Just give me the damn coordinates."

"Very well. Get over here. Quickly. We don't have much time."

Shepard had heard—and said—that line far too many times over the last few months that he didn't want to hear or say it again. But, of course, he was going to before much longer; he doubted the Reapers would wait.

"Yeah, yeah," he growled.

"You have—"

"Shut up," he snapped, picking up a thermal clip and loading it. A group of mechs came through the doors, guns raised and almost immediately shooting at him." I'll deal with them." He ran into cover, muttering, "Yeah, definitely Hell. I've been awake for two minutes and things are already trying to kill me."

He threw a singularity field at the mechs. They floated towards it, computer cores trying to process what had just happened. They never did; Shepard picked them off one by one.

"Is there an assault rifle somewhere?" he demanded, feeling like an idiot for yelling at nothing.

"No," the woman answered.

"And what the hell is going on with me needing clips?"

"Technology upgrade to reduce overheating."

"Can I at least get your name? I feel like an idiot talking to a disembodied voice."

"It's Miranda," she answered irately.

"Fine… Miranda." Reluctantly, he followed her instructions through the overrun base. The only good thing that happened to him was finding a grenade launcher. After that, all communication was cut off with Miranda, he found logs that sounded like he'd been the subject of a science experiment, and stepped over far too many dead bodies for his liking.

Wherever he was, the place was extremely well funded. The equipment was higher-tech than anything he'd ever seen, the weapons were better than anything standard issue, and everyone was wearing white and black uniforms that didn't belong to any military units he'd seen. If not for the blood smearing the walls and the murderous mechs running around, he might have tried to get some of their intel.

He came to a bridge. A man was crouched behind the glass railing, avoiding enemy fire. He had dark skin, short black hair, big lips, and a goatee. He held himself like a well-trained Alliance Commando. Shepard joined him. "What's the situation?"

The man blinked. "You're… I didn't think that you'd be awake."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "You didn't answer my question, soldier."

"Soldier?" He laughed. "I'm not a soldier." He ducked a little more as the mechs renewed their fire. "Damn…"

Shepard glanced over, took out the grenade launcher, and destroyed the mechs. "Now will you talk?"

The man grinned. "Sure. Name's Jacob Taylor. I thought you'd be taller, Commander."

"Where the hell am I?"

"That's classified."

Shepard clenched a fist, biotics flaring. Jacob stepped back, holding up his hands. "Easy. I'm not the enemy. Well, not really, anyway. We're on the same side."

"I don't believe you."

"I wouldn't, either, if I was in your position."

"And what, exactly, is it?"

"You mean… Oh, great. I'd hoped NOT to be the one to explain this…" Jacob looked around, trying to gather his thoughts. "Well…"

Shepard crossed his arms impatiently. "I'm waiting."

"You died."

Shepard's stomach dropped. Dead? He'd guessed, assumed, but… "Impossible."

"What do you remember of the attack on the _Normandy_?"

Shepard didn't want to think about it. He remembered perfectly. He repressed a shudder. "Enough."

"Yeah, well, obviously not enough. You died. We brought you back. This ain't a hospital or anything like that."

"I picked that up on my own, even if I did wake up in surgery."

Jacob shrugged. "You weren't supposed to be up for another eight days at least. Miranda was convinced that you were recovered." Jacob smirked. "I'd say she's wrong."

"You bet your ass she is. That bitch has been leading me around."

"Thought she might. She's like that."

"Where's the _Normandy_?"

"Destroyed."

Shepard took a slow breath. "And the crew?"

"Most of them survived."

"Where's my team now?"

"I couldn't say. The Alliance reassigned them all."

"What about Ci-Ci?"

"Who?"

"Don't play dumb with me."

Jacob sighed. He figured that Shepard would ask about her. Everyone had heard of her fate; the Council had made almost as big a deal about her death as they had Shepard's, making her some kind of hero, wronged by mercenaries or slavers or some other problem stemming in the Terminus Systems. "Honestly, I don't know," he lied. "I've been here for the last five months and haven't exactly been keeping up with them. Miranda would know, though."

Shepard didn't believe Jacob, but he doubted that he had a choice in the matter. "She refused to tell me anything."

"You were talking to her?"

"Before, over the radio."

"Is she alive?"

"I lost communication. I don't see the big deal."

"She was running this facility. She's the one responsible for bringing you back."

"Will you stop bringing up the fact that I died?"

"Sorry, Commander." Jacob looked around uneasily. "We should keep moving. Whatever or whoever made those mechs go haywire is probably still here."

Shepard drew his pistol. "Fine. You'd better start giving me answers after we're out of here."

"I'll answer anything you ask."

"You've already avoided it. I don't trust you, but I don't have a choice."

"When do we?" Jacob drew his shotgun. "The docking bay is this way."

* * *

><p>The doors to the docking bay slid open. Miranda stood on the other side, frowning.<p>

Wilson, a doctor, stepped forward. "Miranda, I thought you'd be—"

She leveled her pistol at his chest and shot. "Dead?" she suggested coldly.

Shepard smirked. "Any dead Cerberus agent is a good thing." They'd found Wilson cowering behind some cargo crates, claiming that the mechs had come for him. Shepard didn't trust him, especially after Jacob had revealed that the facility was a Cerberus facility.

"Careful, Commander," Miranda warned. "We're the whole reason you're still breathing."

"I have yet to decide if I'm grateful." Shepard glared at her icily. She returned the gaze with equal coldness.

"You should be. You were dead."

"And now I'm breathing again. Doesn't mean I owe you anything."

"You owe us everything, Commander."

"We'll see about that."

"We shouldn't stand around here talking."

Shepard leveled his gun at her. "We're not going anywhere until I find out what I want to know."

"You can kill me later. This place will self-destruct."

"What the fuck?"

"What did you expect? We can't let this technology get into the wrong hands."

"It's already in the wrong hands."

She narrowed her eyes. "You're speaking to the person solely responsible for the fact that you're living and breathing!"

Shepard put his finger on the trigger. "Fine."

Jacob shoved Shepard's arm into the air. "Commander, we can't afford to fight. You don't know what's happened in the rest of the galaxy."

"Jacob!" Miranda protested. "You can't—"

"The Council and the Alliance had declared that the Reaper threat ended with Saren. Cerberus has been the only organization that's been doing anything about it."

"What about Ci-Ci?"

Miranda cut in. "I'll tell you about her in the shuttle. Will you please come with me, Commander? A lot has happened over the last two years."

Shepard blinked. "Two YEARS?" He wrenched his arm out of Jacob's grasp and rounded on him. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"You were in a hurry and you aren't someone I want to piss off," Jacob answered.

"At least someone's figured that out," Shepard growled, glaring at Miranda. He holstered his weapon. "We'll talk on the way out of here."

"Finally, some sense," Miranda groaned. She stalked into the shuttle, curves swaying seductively. Shepard rolled his eyes; Women in catsuits generally had one thing in mind and it was not being productive in a fight.

Shepard got in and took his seat across from her. Jacob went up to the cockpit and ordered takeoff.

Miranda opened her omni-tool. "I need to ask you a few questions to ensure that you've been restored to full mental functionality."

"I can think just fine," Shepard growled.

"Let me be the judge of that."

He gritted his teeth. "I don't answer anything until you tell me where Ci-Ci is."

"And I don't tell you where she is until you answer my questions."

Shepard stared her down, getting the feeling that he was looking at himself. She was going to be as stubborn and difficult to deal with as him. "I don't like this."

"Good. If you did, something would be very wrong. We wanted to bring you back exactly like you were."

He flexed his fingers. "My biotics are stronger."

"A necessary improvement. Your implants were destroyed and you now have L5s." She made a note on her omni-tool. "Now, what happened during and after the Battle of the Citadel?"

"I kicked Saren's ass. Saved the Council because Ci-Ci would've killed me if I didn't. Said that Udina would be a better Councilor to get back at her. I was assigned to hunt down geth and Ci-Ci joined the Spectres." He spat the last, still feeling resentful. "Then the _Normandy_ was destroyed and I woke up here."

Miranda nodded. "Your memory seems to be intact…"

"Now answer my question."

Miranda ignored him. "But I'm still not sure."

"We don't have a choice, Miranda," Jacob hissed, taking a seat next to her. "Now tell him."

"In good time."

Shepard clenched a fist and put his other hand on the hilt of his gun. "You gave your word."

"I only said after you answered my questions, but I never said when." She smiled cruelly.

"You're pressing your luck as it is," he warned. "I don't like people stringing me along."

"You seemed to have enjoyed it when Commander Corinthia did."

"WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?" Shepard shouted, biotics flaring as he grabbed Miranda's throat and pushed her against the wall. He didn't care that she had a gun pointed at his stomach; he knew any threat from her was hollow. Cerberus had put four billion credits into bringing him back to life and she was not about to destroy that investment. Unfortunately for her, he didn't need her alive. The only reason that anyone still lived was because it was easier for him that way. For now.

Miranda's eyes never once betrayed panic or fear. Her mind and heart were racing, though. She knew that Shepard would kill her if she didn't say, but she also couldn't risk telling him that Corinthia was dead. At least, she couldn't yet. "I would think, Commander, that you would be more concerned with the fact that you have just spent two years dead, not the location of your former girlfriend."

"Not former."

"That remains to be seen. Two years can change a lot of things."

Shepard neither released her not backed down. "Did she find someone else?"

"No one that we know of."

"Is she safe?"

"As safe as someone in her position can be." Miranda knew that she was digging her own grave, but it would give her time to convert him to Cerberus's cause.

Jacob shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like what Miranda was doing. Shepard's eyes flicked to him, but mostly remained focused on Miranda. "Miranda, just give the man a straight answer," Jacob said.

"After—" She choked as Shepard tightened his grip. "Commander, if you don't release me, I will never tell you."

"I'll find out another way, then."

Jacob grabbed Shepard's shoulders and tried to push him off. The Commander was strong and Jacob, despite having a near perfect physique, couldn't get Shepard back into his seat. "Miranda!"

Shepard elbowed Jacob in the face. "Tell me!"

Miranda put her palm against Shepard's stomach, hitting him with a wave of biotics. He staggered back a foot, loosening his grip on her neck enough that she could raise her foot and kick him back into his seat. She rubbed her throat. "I never would have expected a man with your reputation to care so much about one woman."

"You don't know a fucking thing about me. Why the hell are you being so damn elusive?"

Miranda crossed her arms and legs. "This is a fruitless battle, Commander. I am not to be intimidated and I will tell you everything you want to know after you speak to the Illusive Man."

"I don't believe you." Shepard opened his omni-tool.

"Screw this," Jacob growled. "She's—"

Miranda's jaw twitched ever so slightly. "Stay out of this, Jacob," she interrupted. "You're directly opposing the Illusive Man's orders."

"You mean he _told_ you not to tell him?" Jacob shook his head. "I knew he wasn't to be trusted."

"You should. He knows what's best."

"He said not to tell me what?" Shepard demanded.

"You can ask him yourself. You'll be talking to him in twenty minutes. Can you wait that long?"

Shepard thought for a moment. "Fine."

He didn't holster his weapon.

* * *

><p>The Illusive Man smirked. "Shepard. I'm glad we can have this chat."<p>

"Make it fast," Shepard growled. "I thought I'd be meeting you face to face."

The Illusive Man chuckled. "I can't risk that."

Shepard crossed his arms. "What the hell do you want?"

"As Miranda may have told you, the Citadel Council has denied all existence of the Reapers. This has put humanity in an interesting position, needless to say."

"I'm a Spectre. They'll let me do whatever the hell I want."

The Illusive Man chuckled. "I'm not so sure about that. They were already trying to cover your work up before you died."

"What about Ci-Ci? She wouldn't have rolled over like that."

"She didn't. As a matter of fact, she's the one who's essentially spearheaded our investigation into the Reapers and Collectors."

"Essentially?"

The Illusive Man tapped the ash off his cigarette. "You know her feelings about Cerberus, so you can imagine how she reacted than when I asked her to join our cause."

Shepard smirked and palmed his pistol. "And why should I react any differently?"

"You owe me your life."

He pulled his gun off his hip and put his finger on the trigger. "Wrong. Try again."

"You're no threat to me."

"Maybe, but I can destroy one hell of a lot of equipment."

The Illusive man almost laughed. "I see Miranda did her job. Now, it's for you to do yours. There is a tangible threat to humanity and you're the only person who can stop it."

"I sincerely doubt that."

The Illusive Man took a long draw from this cigarette. "You're thinking of Commander Corinthia, I take it."

"Who else?"

"She is no longer an option."

"Because she refused to work with you?"

"Because she's dead."

Shepard laughed. "Yeah fucking right."

"Knowing your temper, this is not something I would joke about. She was killed by the Collectors five months ago."

Shepard almost dropped his pistol as his body went numb.

"Commander?"

"How?" Shepard asked hoarsely after another minute.

"Interestingly enough, almost exactly the same way you did." The Illusive Man inhaled some more smoke thoughtfully. "Though her body didn't survive, so far as we know. It seems to have been incinerated along with her ship."

Shepard felt his knees going weak. His mind was shutting down, unable to process the slew of emotions hitting him like a flood. Only one managed to break through the floodgates: Rage.

"I'll help you," he whispered, barely audible, but his voice had never been more dangerous or murderous in his life. Even the Illusive Man shivered.

"I'll tell Miranda to give you the biggest guns we have. Thank you, Shepard. You won't regret this."

"Cross me even once and I will hunt you down."

The Illusive Man smirked. "I'd love to see you try."

Shepard walked out of the transmission room, brushing past Miranda and Jacob and grabbing an assault rifle from the weapon rack. "We're leaving. Now."

Miranda raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Shepard continued to outfit himself. "If we're going to do this, you are both going to have to follow my orders to the letter. No fucking around. You do what I say when I say. Do not question my orders. Are we clear?"

Jacob shrugged. "Sure thing, Commander."

Miranda narrowed her eyes coldly. "You only have my cooperation for as long as your goals align with Cerberus's."

Shepard shrugged. "Whatever, as long as you listen to me."

She smiled indulgently. "Of course, Commander."

* * *

><p><strong>15 April 2185—<strong>_**SSV Normandy SR-2, **_**en route to Omega, Sahrabarik System, Omega Nebula**

Joker stretched out in the pilot's chair. "Now this is what I'm talking about! Leather seats, adjustable lumbar…" He smiled. "The Alliance didn't have any consideration for comfort."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, the Alliance hasn't ever really cared about any of that."

"This was not meant to be a replica of the original _Normandy_," a woman's voice said. "Cerberus designed this as an upgrade."

"What the fuck?" Shepard demanded. "Who the hell are you?"

"My name is EDI, sir. I'm the ship's AI."

"You've got to be kidding me…"

"I am not, though it is part of my programming. I was designed to handle the _Normandy_'s defense systems. I am capable of—"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Shepard dismissed, waving a hand. "Just don't go rogue. Then I'll have to kill you."

"From your record, I would not be surprised. I am still completely under your command and can only take control of the defenses in a critical situation."

"Fine. Just don't go homicidal."

"Not without your permission, Commander."

"Don't let Joker pull anything."

"I don't need a babysitter!" the pilot protested.

"And you're the one who joined Cerberus willingly."

"They were gonna reunite me with my baby." Joker rubbed the helm lovingly.

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "I'm going to my quarters." He hesitated. "Where the hell are they?"

"The upper deck," EDI answered. "The elevator is at the back of the CIC."

"The what?"

"The Combat Information Center."

"Can't you just call it the Combat Deck?"

"This isn't an Alliance vessel, Commander."

"Just shut up. You're giving me a migraine." Shepard trudged to the elevator.

A woman with short red hair and smokily-lined green eyes smiled at him. "Hi, Commander! I'm Kelly—"

"No one asked you," he snapped, pressing the button to make the doors close faster. He wanted to be alone. No, he needed to be alone. He'd gone through Freedom's Progress—a colony where every human had been abducted by Collectors—like he had Torfan. Everything in his way was obliterated or worse. The only reason he hadn't killed Tali (who had been there to rescue one of her companions) was because he had innately registered that quarians weren't enemies.

Unfortunately, Tali had mentioned Corinthia (or, really, had offered her condolences over her disappearance). Shepard hadn't reacted… well. Needless to say, several quarians, who were already feeling annoyed because they'd lost a compatriot and were facing down the universally disliked Cerberus, almost murdered Shepard where he stood. Tali had stopped them, but only barely.

After that, it had taken all of Shepard's self-control to focus on the mission at hand. He'd blazed through his debriefing from the Illusive Man and the introduction to the new _Normandy_ in order to get to his quarters and find out for himself what had happened to Corinthia. He instantly focused on the computer console on the desk and gravitated to it. He wasn't going to believe the rumors until—

His heart sank. The first thing that came up when he looked for her name was a long, overly-flowery obituary depicting her heroism. He devoured it and then read everything else that he could. It was all propaganda and, in all likelihood, completely false. He didn't care. It all meant that she was gone… Really gone. The one good thing in his life was never going to come back. Worse, they'd parted on a sour note. He'd never apologized; he'd been too proud. If only he'd… she'd… they'd…

He stood up from the desk and staggered to the bed. His knees gave out a few feet away. He landed hard, not hearing the hollow thump or anything but the blood pounding in his ears. His eyes unfocused and his vision blurred. His fingers went numb and his hands started shaking. He couldn't breathe. He was dying all over again, eternally floating off into absolute darkness and emptiness, feeling his heart pounding and counting the heartbeats until it stopped.

Something hot and wet slid down his cheeks, like his forehead was bleeding. He was crying. He'd never done that before… He'd never felt _grief_ before, let alone guilt. Now they were both brutally assaulting him, cutting off all escape routes. He wanted to die. He wanted to have stayed dead, woken sooner, gotten to her in time, saved her, apologized, told her that he loved her with every breath he had, married her, made love to her, grown old with her, died with her… He was already doing the last, though. She had been the only thing that made him feel… human.

He punched the floor. His knuckles didn't even break, not because the punch was week, but rather because he'd been upgraded. Whatever the hell Miranda had done to him, he wasn't human anymore. Without Corinthia, he was a soulless killing machine. If Death was the only thing he had left, he was going to embrace it.

He dragged himself onto his bed and rolled onto his back. He would get out all of his emotions now before shutting them out completely. He was never, ever going to deal with them again. If Love meant this much pain, he wanted nothing to do with it. He would never stop loving Cassiopeia, but he couldn't function like he still did without her there. Hell, he was crying like some kind of pussy. She was worth it, though…

No. He couldn't think like that. He had to forget her. Move on. Save the galaxy.

"Fuck the galaxy," he growled. This was revenge, not justice. He'd use his Spectre status and Cerberus connections to find and annihilate every last bastard that crossed his path. He'd make good on his name "the Butcher". The Collectors and Cerberus would regret the day that they brought him back. He'd destroy the galaxy if it meant getting what he wanted.

He closed his eyes, the emotional overload finally getting to him. He swore to himself that he would never, ever think about Cassie as anything but fodder for the flames of vengeance. He would never let himself get that close to anyone again. Frankly, he wasn't sure that he could; he didn't have a heart left to give.


	34. Unrevised: Ariadne

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>23 April 2185—Warp Nightclub, Presidium Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Ariadne Enig tapped her fingers on her glass of wine in a high-pitched staccato. Somehow or other, she'd managed to let the other girls at the gallery drag her to a bar in hopes that she would "meet someone". Frankly, she had to yet to see anyone who would make the cut.

"Don't be so nervous!" her asari friend, Mia, shouted over the loud, pulsing music. "You're beautiful! You'll find someone."

Ariadne smiled enigmatically. "Thank you, Mia," she answered, her English accent as crisp and curt as ever, "but I'm fine without falling in love."

"Who said anything about love? I'm talking about one blazing, passionate night of release."

"I wouldn't even let my last boyfriend touch me like that, so what makes you think I'll let a complete stranger?"

"Lots of wine and giggles, that's what. C'mon. You're dancing with me." Mia tried to drag Ariadne to the dance floor, but Ariadne didn't move. "Aw, what's wrong?"

"I'd rather just sit here and listen," Ariadne answered. "You go ahead. I'll be here when you get back."

Mia shrugged and wandered off, melting into the club's pulsing crowd. Ariadne took a long drink of wine. Like any art dealer, she had standards. High standards. People at bars rarely met them.

Even so, her eyes glanced over everyone there. Several turian members of C-Sec were having a loud bachelor party for a human coworker. A drell was leaning in a corner without a drink, hood up and watching the crowd. A dark complexioned, purple-skinned asari was approaching her, eyes smoldering and hips swaying seductively.

Ariadne sighed. This ALWAYS happened to her. Every time she walked into a bar, an asari started a conversation that was always just a little more than friendly. Ariadne, on the other hand, only liked men in that manner and they were all getting drunk, married and getting drunk, or married and trying to have an affair by getting the girl drunk.

"I must say, you have a certain… beauty around you," the asari started, smiling so sweetly that it was poisonous.

Ariadne hid her shudder. "Well, perhaps it's because I'm still in my right mind."

The asari sat. "I've seen you before. You're Ariadne Enig, aren't you? I've seen your work featured at that Prothean Gallery. Oh, what's it called?"

"The Hellas Gallery," Ariadne answered. "What of my work caught your eye?"

"All of it: the sculptures, the paintings, the drawings…" The asari smiled. "It was a song to my soul."

Ariadne was lucky that she was taking another drink of wine because it hid her snort of laughter. "That's... I've never had anyone tell me that before."

The asari shifted, her hand brushing Ariadne's thigh. "I've never had someone touch me so deeply."

Ariadne shuddered and drained her wine glass. "Thank you… I guess..."

"What inspired you? I've read the old human stories and I've seen some of the sculptures, but nothing with that much emotional charge! Your pieces on Achilles are…" The asari sighed romantically.

Ariadne blushed, not because of the compliments, but rather because she was thinking of the inspiration behind her Achilles. "As with anything, it's a dream, imagination, and a sprinkle of reality."

"Ooh… A man?"

"I think I'd call him more of a legend." Ariadne raised a hand to order another drink. "But… Ooh, what is that song playing?"

The asari listened. "Whatever it is, it's… invigorating. Do you like music?"

"Very much so. I've never met anyone who agreed…" Something was tugging at Ariadne's mind, warning her of delicious danger. She could feel her inhibitions melting as she sank deeper into the asari's spell. If only to distract herself and clear her mind-focus on something else-Ariande opened her omni-tool.

"What are you doing?" the asari asked.

"I thought you might like to see my latest works. It was heavily influenced by the human composer Wagner."

"I'd love to see it in person…"

Ariadne closed her omni-tool. "I don't see why not." She stood up, her mind racing. The asari fit the description of a fugitive named Morinth who was, according to Ariadne's sources (namely Liara T'Soni), being hunted by an asari Justicar.

They left Warp and walked out into the Presidium. It was quiet, but brightly lit. The damage from Sovereign had been almost completely cleaned up, restoring the Ward to its former serene beauty. They wandered past the Mass Relay monument. Ariadne stopped to look at it, her heart rising in her throat.

"Are you alright?" Morinth asked, brushing up against Ariadne.

"You asked where my inspiration came from," Ariadne murmured. She gestured to the monument. "Have you heard of Commander Shepard?"

"Who hasn't?"

"He was the inspiration."

"You knew him?"

"I had met him."

"You loved him."

Ariadne smiled softly. "You might say that."

Morinth moved closer. "Every broken heart can be mended." She lightly touched Ariadne's cheek, leaning in close. "You just need the right thread."

Ariadne shifted uncomfortably. "I… I've never done… this…"

"Don't worry, sweetling. I'll be gentle."

Ariadne moved like lightning, knocking Morinth's feet out from under her. "Sorry, but I don't swing that way."

Morinth's shock wore off quickly. Her biotics flared and she threw Ariadne into the Mass Relay monument. The asari panicked. She'd watched Ariadne Enig for days and she'd never given any indication of being… trained. That kick had come from a warrior.

Ariadne drew her pistol and shot. The bullets never broke through the biotic barrier. Morinth ran, Ariadne hot on her heels. She slowed to kick off her shoes, opening her omni-tool and scanning the area. She found Morinth running towards the Market Wards. If she got in there, Ariadne wouldn't be able to track her. "Damn it… Liara! Please answer."

"Ariadne? It's the middle of the night…" Liara answered groggily.

"Find out if there's an asari Justicar on the Citadel. I found one of their fugitives."

"What have you gotten yourself into this time?"

"Nothing worse than the usual."

Liara sighed. "I'm looking now. Yes, one checked in a few hours ago. She was last seen at C-Sec."

"Good. That's exactly where this monster's running…"

"Please tell me you aren't looking for that Ardat-Yakshi." Ardat-Yakshis were part of the asari's darkest legends. Instead of gently joining with their mates, they sucked the life out of their partners and killed them painfully and gruesomely. They were forbidden from leaving the asari's home planet of Thessia, but every so often, one escaped.

"Almost got picked up by her," Ariadne answered merrily.

"Ariadne!"

"What?"

"You weren't… tempted, were you?"

"Are you kidding me?" Ariadne laughed. "Now, if you'll excuse me…" Ariadne shut off the transmission before Liara could say something… incriminating.

Ariadne sprinted into C-Sec. They looked at her curiously. Usually when a well-dressed, pretty woman ran in, she was running from someone. She stopped, smiled, and looked around. "Anyone seen a Justicar?"

A tall, curvy asari, dressed in all red, stepped forward. "Perhaps I can be of assistance. You are?"

"That's… We'll talk about that on the way. I've found Morinth."

The Justicar's eyes flared. "Where?"

"We can talk about that on the way. Please, mistress…"

The Justicar nodded. "It is unwise to lie to me."

"I understand. She tried to seduce me in a club half an hour ago. When she made a move, I fought back."

"Unwise."

"Better than dying."

"Perhaps, but you have not explained who you are."

"You can call me Ariadne Enig."

"But that is not your real name?"

"No, it isn't, but that isn't relevant to the mission."

"As you say. Tell me what you know."

Ariadne explained quickly, showing a map to where she'd tracked Morinth.

"Your technology and skills are... unusual."

"I am unusual."

"Spectre?"

Ariadne nodded.

"I had only heard of two human Spectres, both of whom are dead."

"As you say." Ariadne winked. "But death is just a status, isn't it?"

The Justicar inclined her head. "I thank you. I shall continue the pursuit from here. Should she approach you…"

"I can't guarantee that the kill will be yours, but I'll let you know."

"I understand." The Justicar left without another word.

"Are you insane?" Liara hissed in Ariadne's ear, making Ariadne jump in shock.

"God, Liara! You scared me. I thought I cut off the transmission."

"I reopened it. You aren't the only one who's good with technology."

"She's a Justicar. I can't just lie to her."

"You should have. Too many people know."

"The Council, Anderson, and you…"

"That six people. Seven, with her."

"Do you even know the Justicar code, Liara?"

"No…"

"She isn't allowed to say. Let me worry about it."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes, it is. I'm staying out of trouble."

"I wouldn't call THIS—"

"It was a slight tangent. No biggie."

"So are all your art and all those trips to Ilos!"

Ariadne sighed. As per usual, Liara was getting frustrated. Ever since faking her death, Corinthia had been masquerading as Ariadne Enig. Of course, Corinthia had created Ariadne to begin with, so it was only natural that she assume that identity. The former Lieutenant Commander had set her ship on auto-pilot, cloaked herself, mixed in with the Shadow Broker agents to avoid detection, stowed away on their ship, and "restarted" as Ariadne, an artist and art dealer. She'd spent months convincing the Council that it was better for her to be declared dead. They had finally given in and let her go about her business. All her records were sealed, as was procedure upon death, and, for all intents and purposes, the galaxy thought that she was dead. She felt terrible for doing it. Aside from Liara, no one from the "old days" knew of her survival, and Corinthia was going to have to keep it that way.

"Let me worry about this, Liara. You have other things to worry about, you know. Thanks for the help." Ariadne ended the transmission before Liara could protest. They both faced the difficult task of never, ever revealing that Corinthia still lived. Ariadne and Liara were old friends (with all kinds of records to prove the friendship), so they could speak like they knew one another, but Ariadne could never slip back into being Corinthia (as in drop the accent and dress like a soldier instead of a socialite). She could never drop character. She had even gone so far as to get her scars (facial and body) surgically removed, wore make-up to make her eyes look more green, grew out her hair and given it a flattering cut, and rarely dressed in anything but designer, fashionable, chic dresses. She had passed people she knew—Joker, Tali, Alenko, Dr. Chakwas, and several other—and not one of them had recognized her. She hadn't seen Wrex or Garrus, but she doubted that they would know her, either.

She went back to the Presidium to pick up her shoes (which were, oddly enough, still there) before returning to her home. Against her will, she'd sold her first apartment in the Presidium and bought another closer to her gallery. This one was full of modern, stylish furniture and original artwork from some of the most prominent artists of the times, not to mention Prothean artifacts and statues. Unable to betray her actual identity, she'd hid all of her holos of herself, her family, and (most importantly), her and Shepard. They were all from before they were together, but the more she looked at them, the more she could see that his affections had been rooted for years before he'd ever said something about them.

She tossed her shoes into a basket by the door and flopped down onto her sofa. She'd had a long day, without having to chase Morinth. The Cerberus facility she was scouting had been destroyed due to a technology malfunction. Though it was something that she would have done, it hadn't been her fault, which meant that someone else was crossing Cerberus. That gave her another ally, if she could find the perpetrator.

Worse, another colony, Freedoms' Progress, had gone missing. She'd returned from her initial investigation, finding no bodies, no survivors, and a little bit of quarian blood. The situation hadn't improved when she saw the damage done to the colony. Someone had torn through the place with an assault rifle and grenade launcher, getting rid of all evidence that may have remained to help her track the Collectors.

Either way, they'd struck again and she was nowhere closer to finding them or their base. She'd only agreed to go out with her coworkers so that she could clear her mind before she started her work again. And, of course, that didn't happen. She ALWAYS ended up in the middle of something.

"Hello, Ariadne," a perky woman suddenly said out of nowhere.

She groaned. "Kasumi… Why can't you just come by the office?"

"Where's the fun in that? Your security's tighter than anywhere else in the galaxy." The thief turned off her cloaking device. She was sitting in one of the chairs, legs crossed and hood up. "You'd think that you were hiding something."

"Ever since you broke into my warehouse, I know better than to put anything special where you can get to it."

Kasumi Goto was hands-down the best thief in the galaxy. Ariadne had accidentally walked in on Kasumi mid-heist as the thief tried to take a Prothean statue from the gallery's warehouse. Interestingly enough, the moment Ariadne questioned why Kasumi would choose one particular sculpture over another ("Honestly, if you're looking for something _good_, you should really be looking in that corner; it's where I keep the nudes"), Kasumi decided that the two of them should be friends. Ariadne agreed when she heard Kasumi's answer ("I would, but I've already got a living, breathing one waiting for me"). Kasumi had been wandering in and surprising Ariadne ever since.

Ariadne sat up, smiling. "What do you need?"

Kasumi opened her omni-tool and opened a holo image. "This."

Ariadne raised an eyebrow. "Is that…"

"Saren Arterius," Kasumi answered cheerily. "I need a life-size statue of him for a client."

"I thought you were a thief."

"I paid you for the things I took."

"And I appreciate it, but commissions aren't your style."

"I told you that it wasn't for me."

"You're asking me to sculpt a… a…" Ariadne shook her head. She couldn't finish the sentence.

"I'll make sure to destroy it once I'm through. These are the specifications."

Ariadne examined them. The statue's base was to have two drawers to hide armor and weapons within. "This is… You don't need all of this equipment."

Kasumi frowned. "You're asking a lot of questions."

"It's because I don't like it. Him."

"Trust me."

Ariadne laughed bitterly. "After what happened last time?"

"That was an accident! I didn't mean to destroy the warehouse!"

"Oh, really? I thought you were just trying to cover your tracks. Or was it to follow that cute guy?"

"What can I say? Sometimes a man with a good body is worth pursuing." Kasumi smiled deviously. "So, will you do it?"

"If you give me a very good reason."

"Keiji."

Ariadne softened immediately. Keiji was to Kasumi as Shepard was to Corinthia (including the part that they were dead). "When do you need it done?"

"As soon as possible."

"Does it just need to look nice?"

"Pretty much. I don't know if I can bring it back for you to put a sledgehammer through it, though."

"Why would I do that?"

Kasumi cocked her head to one side. "Your accent it good, but it isn't perfect. You sometimes forget about it when you laugh. Besides, you forgot a picture." Kasumi held out a holo of Shepard.

Ariadne looked at the proffered disk. "That wasn't here."

"It was in your office."

"Why were you in there?"

"To pick a Prothean sculpture."

"The first time?"

"Yep."

Ariadne rubbed her eyes. "So you've known all along?"

"Well, if you look closely, it is a little obvious. You aren't sexy enough when you walk in heels."

"I'll work on that. Can I have it, please?"

Kasumi put the holo in Ariadne's hand. "You're lucky, you know."

"Why's that?"

Kasumi turned on her cloaking device and headed to the door. "You'll get more than a memory."

Ariadne turned on the holo. It was Shepard in a moment of weakness, smiling (or as much as he ever did) with his arm slung around Corinthia's shoulders. It had been a birthday party she'd thrown for him, a few weeks before they were assigned to the _Normandy_, with a few people they both knew. Her heart wrenched. Even though she dreamed about him every night (literally; it made her feel like a walking cliché), seeing a picture of him just made her want the real thing all the more badly.

She uploaded the holo to her omni-tool before destroying the hard copy. She was getting sloppy. Kasumi was smart and sneaky, but so was Cerberus. Honestly, Ariadne was surprised that she'd managed to keep her real identity a secret for as long as she had. It was only a matter of time before she would have to pick one life over the other. She was going to have to choose to be Corinthia-Imreas, she knew, because she was going to have to fight the Reapers and the Collectors. One more month as Ariadne and she would have enough money to invest and fund her mission, with squad-mates, a ship, and everything.

But first things first, she had to sculpt that bastard Saren. Why did she ever decide to pick up a hobby in addition to saving the world?


	35. Unrevised: Unrevised: Archangel

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>1 May 2185—Afterlife Club, Omega, Sahrabarik System, Omega Nebula<strong>

Shepard's murderous eyes roved the club, making people back out of his way. Jacob and Miranda exchanged uneasy looks. They had both known that Shepard would be cold and on-task, but this… This wasn't what they'd expected. Miranda wondered if she had gotten something wrong in rebuilding him or if she had miscalculated something. No, she couldn't have. Shepard wasn't an emotional man. His dabbles with Commander Corinthia-Imreas had been a past-time and hadn't lasted long enough to become anything serious. He was a man who used whatever assets he had to their full extent before disposing of them, hence why Corinthia was his only friend. She hadn't outlived her uses when she served with Shepard, nor had she at her death, but Miranda could easily replace her on all levels.

Her eyes swept over Shepard. She was proud of the outcome of her labors. Unbeknownst to him, she'd even improved him by making him stronger, faster, taller, leaner, bigger… She wondered if he'd notice. So far, he hadn't shown an ounce of appreciating for all the work she'd put into him. He seemed fixated on that Corinthia woman, who had done nothing but giggle and be a slightly talented hacker to gain his attention.

Miranda had her orders: Keep Shepard in line. This mission was a test. If he screwed it up, Miranda was going to have to take action. If she was lucky, Shepard wouldn't fight. Much.

"Commander, we should go speak to Aria," Miranda said. "She's the ruler of Omega. She'll know about Archangel and the Doctor."

He half-turned his head to look at Miranda out of the corner of his eye. He'd clearly heard her, but wasn't going to grace her with an answer. His hand rested on the butt of his pistol as he stalked towards Aria's loft. The guard opened his mouth to ask something, only to get a gun barrel wedged between his teeth as Shepard shoved him into the wall.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" a batarian demanded, surging forward, assault rifle drawn.

"I want to talk to Aria," Shepard growled, glaring at the batarian.

"Put your weapons away."

"No."

"I said—"

Shepard's biotics flared dangerously and he put his finger on the trigger of the pistol wedged between the first guard's teeth. "Do you want to be next?"

"Let him up," a cold female voice ordered. Shepard shoved the guard away and slowly came up the stairs, staring down the batarian.

Aria T'Loak sat on a large sofa, legs crossed and arms splayed on the sofa back. She had dark purple skin, black facial tattoos, and dark eyes that made her look as dangerous as her reputation claimed. She looked Shepard up and down before jerking her chin a little. The batarin stepped forward, omni-tool out. Shepard put his gun against the alien's forehead. "Fuck off."

"I have to be cautious," Aria said casually. "You wouldn't be the first man to come through here claiming to be Shepard."

Shepard lowered his gun, but didn't holster it. The batarian scanned him. "It's him."

Aria jerked her head, indicating that Shepard should sit. He did, leaning back with all appearances of being relaxed with his pistol in his lap, but in actuality he was ready to strike.

"I know why you're here," Aria continued. "Archangel is a menace and the Doctor is insane."

Shepard didn't answer.

She rolled her head around to look at him. From anyone else, it might have been a cute or seductive move, but from Aria, it was like a cobra waving its head before striking. "You aren't going to cause trouble on my planet."

Shepard narrowed his eyes. "Don't count on it."

She smirked and then laughed. "I thought you might say that, so here's a little piece of advice: I am the Queen of Omega." She stood, facing Afterlife and spreading her arms wide. "I own this place and, here, there's only one rule: Don't. Fuck. With. Aria."

She turned and sat next to him, leaning in closer than he liked. He put his finger on the trigger.

"I hear that you have a similar rule," she murmured.

"Move any closer and you'll find out," he growled.

Aria shifted her weight away from him. "That's what I like to hear." She snapped her fingers. The batarian came over with a datapad and put it in her hand. "The mercenary groups here have gotten together to hunt Archangel. He must really be crawling up their asses to make them work together like this. I think they're recruiting in here, somewhere. Your doctor is in the slums. He runs a clinic there. Another plague's broken out, so it's under quarantine. Show them this and they'll let you through." She casually held the datapad out to Shepard. He took it and read the information for himself. "Satisfied?"

He nodded and stood. "Maybe I'll see you around."

"Maybe I'll be here," she answered, watching him leave. He wasn't what she'd expected. She'd expected him to be acting like some kind of hero, not like a ruthless killer. Either way, she liked him. He was hard, knew what he wanted, and knew who to respect—namely herself. "Keep an eye on him," she ordered the batarian.

The guard nodded, not looking forward to the job. Shepard would have killed everyone in that bar if it would mean getting his way. He was dangerous... A liability, and Aria was just letting him walk out of there.

Miranda was almost insulted at the exchange. "What the hell were you thinking, Shepard?" she demanded. "We can't afford to make enemies with everyone we meet!"

He rounded on her, hand sliding around her throat and shoving her into the wall. "I'm here to get the help I need to annihilate the Collectors," he hissed. "I'll do this however the fuck I want. Don't think because you swayed your hips and did some science experiments that I won't kill you if you cross me, because the second you outlive your use, I will."

Miranda returned his cold stare, but her heart was racing. She hoped that he couldn't feel her pulse. He gave her a final shove before turning away, satisfied that he'd made his point. Jacob touched Miranda's arm, concerned. She waved him off, glaring at Shepard. She had never questioned the Illusive Man before, nor was she about to start, but she was starting to think it unwise to have returned Shepard to life.

Jacob read her thoughts. He was tough and had faced down plenty of scary things in his lifetime, but Shepard was on a completely different level, as much a danger to his allies as his enemies.

Shepard glanced around the bar before spotting the recruiting station. A Blue Suns mercenary stood in a private room, a computer console before him, putting down the names of anyone that came in with a gun. Shepard approached him, stopping a few feet away and crossing his arms.

The Blue Sun looked the Commander up and down. "You here to sign up?"

Shepard nodded coldly.

"You got a working weapon?"

Shepard put his palm on his pistol.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Does it matter?" Shepard growled.

The mercenary shuddered. "Pay's fifty credits a day. There's a shuttle outside the bar and to the right. You'll see it."

Shepard turned to leave, running directly into a scrawny teenager holding a piece of junk that someone was idiotic enough to call a gun. Shepard grabbed it and deftly took it apart. The kid's eyes widened in anger. "Hey! I paid a hundred credits for that!"

"Fuck off, kid," Shepard barked, shoving him out the door. "Get a job that won't turn you into gun fodder."

Miranda couldn't believe it. After how cold Shepard had acted, he was going out of his way to stop someone from doing something stupid? Had she, again, missed something?

Shepard was half-way out of Afterlife before she realized that he was still moving. She ran to catch up with him. "I don't understand," she started. "Why—"

Jacob interrupted, saying, "Just don't ask, Miranda. I don't think it's going to help."

"Watch him carefully."

"I don't even trust our boss, Miranda. Why would I trust him?"

Miranda's eyes examined Shepard's back (and ass). "There's nothing we can do about it now."

"Yes there is."

Miranda shook her head. "No."

"You can at least offer."

"It won't secure his loyalty."

"Shut up," Shepard hissed. "You can talk on your own time. Let's find Archangel, pick up the Doctor, and get out of this rock."

"I couldn't agree with you more," Miranda answered, smiling a little. "Every time I come here I feel like I need to take a shower, despite decontam." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms beneath her breasts. "Let's hope that Archangel is worth it."

* * *

><p><strong>6 hours later…<strong>

Garrus took a deep breath and released it slowly. He'd been in a foxhole for two days. The Eclipse, Blue Suns, and Blood Pack were closing in on his position. He would last maybe another day, if he was lucky. He was fortified, having jammed the basement doors and forced the mercenaries to approach him across a narrow bridge, and had the high ground, but they were up to something. They'd stopped throwing people at him.

He needed to sleep. He'd been on longer missions, but even on those he had a chance to relax. He'd also had good people beside him-like Ci-Ci, Shepard and Wrex-to keep him company and keep him laughing. It served him right for getting himself cornered, but he hadn't had a choice. This wasn't about justice anymore; this was revenge. He'd seen ten men killed because of one bastard's betrayal and he was going to avenge every last one of them.

There was movement on the far end of the bridge. Archangel cracked his neck, hunkered down, and looked through his sniper scope. His heart almost stopped beating. It was the Commander. Shepard. He was alive and walking across the bridge, assault rifle in his arms and not looking at all threatened by the situation.

Garrus thought quickly and loaded a concussive round. He couldn't give Shepard away. He fired once, hitting the Commander's shoulder. Shepard staggered a little, eyes locking on the mercenaries in front of him. Garrus grinned evilly as Shepard let loose, biotics flaring and throwing mercenaries left and right, assault rifle cutting down anything else left breathing. As soon as Shepard was inside the building, Garrus switched his rounds to incinerate and fired at anyone still moving.

Shepard entered the room, pistol out and pointed at Garrus. The turian held up a hand and took a final shot. He stood, gratefully stretching, and rested his back against the wall. He leaned his sniper rifle against his leg and pulled off his helmet. "Shepard."

Shepard smirked and holstered his weapon. "Garrus. I should've known it was you." He stepped forward and embraced the turian. "Who put you up to this?"

"I know what you're thinking, but Ci-Ci had nothing to do with this. It was all me." Garrus smiled painfully. "I'm sorry," he added. "Nothing can replace her."

Shepard nodded coldly, quickly dismissing all thoughts of her. "What's done is done. What the hell happened to get you here?"

"I killed a few mercenaries." Garrus shrugged. "And I might've killed their second in commands or cousins or something like that. It's only fair. They killed my team."

Shepard picked up Garrus's sniper rifle and examined the bridge. "You pissed them off something fierce. I had to sabotage half of their equipment to make sure you'd survive."

"Why are you even here, Shepard?"

"To recruit you."

"Again?"

Shepard nodded, kneeling to better aim the rifle. "Want me to explain now or after?"

"Doesn't matter. If you help me out of this, I'll help you."

Shepard took his shot, blowing off the head of a salarian Eclipse mercenary. "Oops."

Garrus chuckled. "I thought you might do that."

"He was getting close… ish."

"What's your plan?"

"Kill everything that moves. Blow up everything that's left."

Garrus shook his head. "You do realize this plan has me walking into Hell, too, right?" He smiled. "Just like old times."

Something flashed across Shepard's face. Garrus couldn't quite place it. "Not quite," Shepard murmured. He took out his shotgun.

"Commander, the doors," Miranda interrupted.

Shepard nodded. "The mercenaries have been tunneling to get through the doors you blocked."

"I thought they were too quiet," Garrus mused. He sighed. "I knew it wouldn't last for long. Same plan?"

"Not quite. Jacob, stay here with Garrus and cover him. Miranda and I will take care of the newcomers."

"Whatever you say, Commander." Garrus watched as Shepard and Miranda left.

Jacob took his place by the door. "Is he always like that?"

"That depends," Garrus mused, readying his rifle. He looked through the scope.

"Depends on what?"

"If he'd gotten to kiss Ci-Ci or not."

Jacob laughed. "You're kidding me… Right?"

"I wish I was."

"Shame we tried to kill her."

"We?"

"Cerberus."

Garrus stiffened. "You're Cerberus?"

"Yeah… Sorry."

"I hope Shepard knows what he's doing."

"Me, too," Jacob murmured. "He isn't what I thought he'd be."

"Is anyone ever?" Garrus answered. "But I've never seen him this bad." He stiffened. "Right, they're coming. Get ready."

* * *

><p><strong>3 May 2183—<strong>_**SSV Normandy SR-2**_**, Omega**

Garrus woke in a bright, white room. For a moment, he wondered if the human stories were right about the afterlife, but then someone spoke that he didn't expect.

"Well, Garrus, you live to fight another day."

"Dr. Chakwas?" he breathed.

The old, English doctor smiled, leaning over him. "Shepard brought you back to the ship. You took quite the hit."

Garrus gingerly touched his temple. He'd been shot in the head, like Corinthia had on Eden Prime (or, at least, he imagined it was from how she explained the scar). "And you brought me back."

"You were never lost."

"So… Shepard's with Cerberus."

"We all are."

"We?"

"Jeff's here, too."

Garrus winced. "Shepard can't be too happy about that."

"I honestly can't tell. The Commander's been acting..."

"I know." Garrus sat up painfully. "Can I see myself?"

Dr. Chakwas hesitated before saying, "It isn't healed yet, Garrus, but we'll keep an eye on it. Commander Shepard wanted to see you. He's in the conference room."

Garrus groaned as he got to his feet. He was a little disoriented, but none the worse for wear. The new _Normandy_ was ten times as nice as the old one, looking more like a civilian ship than anything military issued. Everything was brightly lit and clean, accented in black and yellow to match the Cerberus insignia (a golden hexagon, broken at the bottom, resting in two conforming arms). Garrus shuddered, remembering vividly the missions where Shepard and Corinthia had hunted down the xenophobic bastards. What the hell had made Shepard think that he could just go and join up with them?

The turian entered the conference room. A large, hexagonal, wood table rested in the middle, a holo projector in the center showing a readout of the _Normandy_. Shepard leaned against the wall, arms crossed and looking mutinous while Miranda explained the ramifications of his actions.

Shepard looked up, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" Garrus asked. "Is it that bad?"

"Hell, Garrus, you were always ugly. I don't think the ladies are going to notice."

"I hear that krogan and human women like scars, or maybe that was just Ci-Ci." Garrus realized he'd touched a nerve a moment too late. Shepard straightened, fist clenched. "I don't like that you're working with Cerberus, Shepard, but I'll do it. For you. Want to tell me what you're up to?"

Shepard looked at Miranda. She nodded, stepping forward and opening her omni-tool. "Our mission is to stop the Collectors. They've been abducting entire colonies of humans. Shepard is helping us hunt them down."

Garrus exchanged looks with the Commander. Garrus knew the glint in Shepard's eye only too well: Revenge and, considering its intensity, it was for Corinthia. Though Garrus had never heard the exact means of her death, he knew what had happened now.

"They're in trouble, then," Garrus mused. "I know what happens to Shepard when he's out for blood."

Shepard stormed out of the room. Garrus followed. "Shepard. Shepard!"

The Commander stopped with a foot half in the elevator. "What?"

Garrus realized that he had no idea what to say. "If you…" He stopped. "Damn, it, Shepard, you know what I mean. I lost my entire squad to those mercenary bastards because someone betrayed me. I want his blood, too."

Shepard put his hand on Garrus shoulder, squeezing slightly. Even if Garrus wouldn't be able to give any kind of emotional consolation, at least the turian understood the lengths that Shepard was going to go.

"It'll happen, Garrus," Shepard finally said. "I can guarantee it."

Garrus grinned. This was going to be fun.


	36. UnrevisedThe Professor and the Mercenary

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>5 May 2185—Mordin Solus's Clinic, Slums, Omega, Sahrabarik System, Omega Nebula<strong>

Omega's slums reeked of death, even in the sterile clinic. Plague victims huddled, coughing and shuddering as its effects wracked their bodies. Human medics ran around administering a cure, causing a cacophony of shouts for joy and cries for help.

Shepard kept his hand on his pistol. The slums had been crawling with mercenaries, left to die as the plague ripped through their bodies. Humans and vorcha, for some reason, were the only ones immune to it, which meant that Garrus has to stay on the _Normandy_. Shepard didn't like it. He didn't trust Miranda or Jacob, so Shepard was even more on edge than normal. He was waiting for something to jump out of the shadows and try and kill him. As usual. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been out without something trying to kill him. Hell, even his parting with Ci-Ci had ended in a fight.

He tightened his grip on his weapon, concentrating on the task at hand. Find the Mordin Solus. Make him help. Leave Omega. Kill Collectors.

Miranda gestured towards the back of the clinic. "Professor Solus should be back there."

They could hear Mordin's mutterings before they even saw him.

"Hmm. Situation destabilizing. Need to resolve. No time. Solution simple. Small dose of… No, would cause lung failure in hanar."

Shepard groaned. If he was going to have to put up that for however long the mission would be, someone was going to die. The Professor sounded like his voice was being fast-forwarded. He'd heard that voice before, though, but from Ci-Ci when she was imitating one of her professors from her days in the salarian school.

_Get her out of your head. Concentrate_, he thought.

The salarian doctor looked up from his work. He was old, with a missing head tentacle, white skin still barely its original burnt umber at the edges, several scars, and glassy black eyes. "Infected? No, no symptoms. Mercenary? Too well equipped. Not Alliance. Wrong uniforms. Must be Cerberus. Only option. Would explain human companions. Shepard. Must be. Fits Ci-Ci's description. Smitten. Good student. Intelligent. Creative." He frowned. "Naïve. Idealist."

The mention of Corinthia turned Shepard's growl of, "Shut the hell up" into a near gasp of, "You knew her?"

"My student in the old days. Taught science. Genetics. Took my classes. Eager, but no talent for it. Good with computers. Artistic. Sculptor. Painter. Overly childish. Emotional. Bad for a soldier. Worked with STG. Highly successful. Ironic. Skilled. Good sniper."

"Well, she's dead now, so there's no point in dwelling on it."

"Death is a possibility. Yes. But improbable. Ci-Ci is too tricky. Too stubborn. But all theory. No facts. Contemplated brining her back. Science exists, but would need body and funding." Mordin's eyes flicked to Miranda before returning to Shepard. "But you already know, Shepard. Successful reanimation is interesting. Would like to probe your brain and see the effects. Other more important things first, like curing plague. Then find Ci-Ci. Might be in hiding. With quarians? No. Too boring. Would need adventure. Illium. Citadel. Not Omega. Would have found her. Could use her help."

"Shut the fuck up," Shepard ordered, drawing his pistol and pointing it at Mordin. All the thoughts about Corinthia were getting to him and, if they continued, he was likely to start killing the things that triggered the memories.

"Interesting. Expected," Mordin murmured. "Understand her attraction. Strong. Determined. Decisive."

"I'm not here to reminisce. I'm going up against the Collectors. I need your help to make an antidote against their swarms." The Collectors had swarms of insects which stung and paralyzed humans, allowing the hunters to take them away without a fight. Other species weren't picked up by the Collector's sensors and were immune to the toxin, it seemed, since the quarian on Freedom's Progress (the one Tali's team was trying to rescue) managed to elude detection and paralysis.

"Interesting proposition. Would be working with Cerberus. Anti-human. Thugs. Sloppy."

Miranda frowned. "Watch your tongue, professor."

Mordin waved a hand dismissively. "Hollow threat. Need my help. Will help. Provides challenge. But first must help me, yes… Assistant went find survivors. Didn't return. Good assistant. Has cure. Find him and distribute antidote. Then I join you. Continue research."

"I guess I don't have a choice," Shepard muttered.

"Always a choice," Mordin answered. "Can't talk. Must concentrate. Have to fix side effects on turians." The professor turned back to his work, completely ignoring Shepard, Miranda, and Jacob.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Jacob said, "Is it just me, or is that guy insane?"

"No, just brilliant," Miranda answered. "He doesn't think well of Cerberus, though."

"Who does?" Shepard hissed.

"You owe us, Commander."

"Mention that again and I'll put you out an airlock and take the _Normandy_."

She narrowed her eyes. "I'd like to see you try."

"Don't temp me."

Jacob stepped between them. "Alright, we can discuss the pros and cons of Cerberus later. Let's just sort out this plague, find that assistant, and get out of here before we can't wash it off."

* * *

><p>With the antidote distributed and the slums saved, Shepard wanted nothing more than to interrogate Mordin, but they still had one more person to find on Omega: Zaeed Massani. If Shepard had to jump through any hoops…<p>

A terrified looking batarian skidded along the floor and into the wall. Heavy footfalls echoed as Zaeed advanced, assault rifle handing casually in his arms as he took a long draw from a rancid-smelling cigar. Half of his face was marred with scars, turning his eye milky white. Unlike Ci-Ci's visage, which had just had the marks on it, Zaeed's was permanently disfigured, the scars running like canyons. He wore yellow armor, heavily tattooed arm muscles bristling.

"Please…" the batarian panted. "Don't kill me…"

Zaeed raised an eyebrow. "Really?" he slurred, his English accent cruel and drawing. He extinguished his cigar on the batarian's arm. "You owe my employer money. I'm here to collect."

"I… I don't have it. If you give me more time…"

Zaeed didn't flinch as a gun went off. Shepard holstered his smoking pistol and crossed his arms.

"Ah. You must be Shepard," Zaeed murmured. "I wondered if that woman had made you soft."

Shepard reached for his shotgun.

Zaeed smirked. "Maybe not. Well, let me clean up this sorry son of a bitch and we'll leave."

Shepard relaxed a little. "So you've already been paid."

"Damn straight, I have. If I hadn't, we wouldn't be talking. What? You look disappointed."

"I wasn't expecting this to be easy."

"My loyalties lie with money, Shepard." Zaeed pulled out another cigar. "Your boss has that. I won't cross you so long as you keep it coming."

Shepard nodded. "Welcome to the team."

Zaeed picked up the dead batarian and dragged his body towards Afterlife. Shepard jerked his head irately towards the _Normandy_, not caring if Miranda and Jacob followed him.

"Shepard! You have to report to the Illusive Man!" Miranda called desperately as Shepard stampeded into the elevator.

"Fuck him," Shepard growled. "We have what we came for. Joker!"

"Aye, Commander?"

"The Citadel."

"Sure thing. Want me to check in with Anderson?"

Shepard thought for a long moment. "Yes. I want that Spectre status back."

Miranda pulled Shepard out of the elevator. "You're talking to the Illusive Man whether you like it or not."

Shepard pushed her into the Galaxy Map. "Tell him yourself. I don't give a fuck."

Kelly—whom Shepard had been snapping at to shut up every time she opened her mouth—stepped between them. "Let's all just calm down—"

"Stay out of this," Shepard ordered, shoving her away. "I don't want your peacemaking."

"Commander, the Illusive Man is waiting to speak to you," EDI interrupted. "He wants to hear your report."

Mordin, who had been examining his new work area in the Science Wing, poked his head out. "Can it be? Can't. Should be. Must ask. Is that… AI?"

"Yes, I am," EDI answered. "Commander, your decision?"

"Miranda, you deal with your boss. If you even so much as try and make me talk to him, I'm leaving you on Omega."

"It isn't wise to threaten me, Shepard," Miranda hissed. "You aren't the only one who's been… upgraded." Miranda's biotics flared with her anger.

Shepard laughed cruelly. "Are you fucking serious? Like you'd kill your four billion credit investment. Without Ci-Ci, you don't have anyone left to do your dirty work." He leaned in, eyes murderous. "But I don't need you, bitch, so do what I say when I say if you so much as want my help."

"You don't have a choice, Shepard. Cerberus is the only organization that still believes the Reapers are a threat."

"Who the hell said that this was about Reapers?" Shepard growled.

"So this is all about a girl?" Miranda rolled her eyes. "She would have stopped the Lazarus Project, if she had her way."

"No."

"She spent the last two years hunting down Cerberus Cells. She destroyed five cells and ours was next." Miranda conveniently forgot to mention that the activity had continued after Corinthia's death.

Shepard clenched a fist, his jaw twitching. "Did she know?" he asked softly, his tone so low that he sounded like Death himself.

"Know what?"

"DID SHE KNOW?"

"We don't know how much she knew."

A biotic field manifested around Shepard's fists.

"The Illusive Man will know more. I was only told what I needed to know to avoid having the Project compromised."

Shepard took a deep breath, his biotics still warping around his fingers like plasma. He stomped into the Conference room, waiting impatiently as the table lowered to open the secure holo connection to the Illusive Man.

"Shepard," he started, "good work on Omega. I-"

"Tell me what happened with Ci-Ci."

The Illusive Man stopped. No one interrupted him. "Excuse me?"

"She was hunting you down. Why the hell should I trust you?"

The Illusive Man sighed, tapping ashes off the end of his cigarette. "I had hoped not to have this conversation."

Shepard waited, readying to destroy something.

"As you know, Commander Corinthia was made a Spectre. She was readying to go to Ilos when the _Normandy_ was destroyed. Shortly after the funeral, the Shadow Broker recovered your body to sell to the Collectors. I contacted Corinthia to take the mission to recover you, but she refused. She said that she wanted nothing else to do with you." The Illusive Man waited to see Shepard's reaction. "She may have said something else if I hadn't mentioned that she would be working with Cerberus. Miranda, with the help of Dr. T'Soni, managed to recover your body, regardless, and started the Lazarus Project."

The Illusive Man inhaled his cigarette deeply, giving Shepard a chance to speak. The Commander said nothing and had yet to move, but his biotics had subsided. His stare bore a hole through the wall.

"I never said anything to Corinthia about the Lazarus Project, but T'Soni knew. Shortly after Liara returned to Illium, Corinthia started hunting us. Liara could have talked. I'm sure Corinthia didn't like the idea of us… experimenting on you. She spent the time that she wasn't killing us looking for the Reapers. That got the Collectors angry and they cornered her. A group of Shadow Broker agents destroyed her ship. We never found the body, but she never resurfaced." The Illusive Man waited a beat before adding, "And she never came looking for you, not even for a body to bury."

"You don't know shit," Shepard whispered.

"Now do you understand why I didn't want to tell you?" The Illusive Man leaned forward in his chair. "The worst part is that she had a partner. There was no way that she could have destroyed all our operations on her own. Someone else is still killing us off one by one and they will come for you. You're going to have to be ready."

"Do you expect me to believe that she would just… betray me like that?"

"I didn't think you would immediately, but it's the truth. I can't gain your trust if I lie to you."

"Why did she do it?"

"Betray you or hunt us?"

"Hunt you."

"Revenge, I would imagine, for the events aboard the _SSV Geneva_. She believed that I was personally responsible for those events. You understand the power of revenge, Commander, and you have been on her side of the fight before."

Shepard needed to think, but he couldn't do it with the Illusive Man breathing down his neck. The story sounded plausible… All except Corinthia refusing to find him. She was an optimist. She brushed off pain. She wasn't like him, who couldn't handle the emotional weight of grief; she was strong. She wouldn't have given up, not if there was a flicker of hope. She just wouldn't...

But he'd changed after hearing about her death. He couldn't even begin to imagine what had happened to her. She had always been a little fragile—or was it just a little naïve? It didn't matter. Losing the only thing you truly care about destroys you from the inside out. He'd seen her angry once before, when he'd tried to keep her on the _Normandy_ instead of taking her groundside. It had only been a flash, when her self-control had snapped, but it was enough. If that fury had taken hold of her, she would've been unstoppable.

"What aren't you telling me?" Shepard asked. He was tensed, ready to kill something. Anything. "Why didn't you retaliate?"

"I didn't know it was her until a few days before she died. Besides, all of our resources were being poured into the Lazarus Project. I was preparing to leak information about your recovery when she was killed."

Shepard's hackles rose. He didn't trust the Illusive Man, but it didn't matter.

"You have your chance for Revenge, Commander. You'll get it by helping us hunt the Reapers."

"Fuck you," Shepard growled, defeated rather than defiant. "If I find out that you lied to me about anything, I am going to find you and tear you limb from limb. Are we clear?"

The Illusive Man smirked. "I wouldn't expect anything less." He ended the transmission before Shepard asked any other questions. Shepard was smart. He would find out the truth of Corinthia's involvement sooner or later, if he chose to look, but Shepard wouldn't be patient enough to take the time to do that research. Corinthia was dead and gone, which was unfortunate only because she had been the key to controlling the Commander.

The Illusive Man finished his cigarette, extinguishing the butt contemplatively. Shepard was going to be a problem. He needed to be controlled. The Illusive Man opened his computer terminals, pulling up all the information he had on Corinthia. He read through her file, her service record, and the official and unofficial reports on her death. When he opened her Spectre file, he noticed something odd: her status had never seen deactivated. Upon their deaths, Spectres were retired and all their rights/privileges were revoked.

How had he missed that before?

After a moment of thought, he lit another cigarette and summoned Liara T'Soni's activities. If anyone knew what had really happened to Corinthia, it would be the asari. If the Illusive Man could deliver Corinthia, he would have Shepard's loyalty for all eternity.

The Illusive Man could only hope that she was alive. If she worked with Shepard, they would clinch the humanity's rightful place in the galaxy.

Any expense was worth that.

* * *

><p>Shepard examined Mordin's equipment as the Professor set up shop in the science wing.<p>

"Excellent equipment. Well-funded. Spacious." He inhaled deeply. "Air too dry. Can cause skin flaking. Must compensate. Could alter air filters."

"You said that Ci-Ci isn't dead," Shepard murmured. He looked calm, but his hands were shaking. He let them hang at his sides, not wanting to intimidate the professor.

"Said it was possible. Unlikely. Too skilled to be killed. Wouldn't let herself be cornered after Eden Prime."

"You knew about that?"

"Kept in touch. Favorite student. Friend. Worked with STG with her. Would have made a good salarian. Good Spectre. Resourceful. Creative."

"She never said…"

"You never asked. Often mentioned you. Hormonal reaction to sexual attraction. Called it 'love'." He shook his head. "Unnecessary. Compromising."

"Excuse me?"

"Love causes compromise. Clouding of true goals. Narrow-mindedness. Restricts possibilities and outcomes."

"Is she alive or not?"

"Don't know. Scenarios possible for both outcomes. Council declared her dead. Took too long. Three months. Abnormal. Disconcerting."

Shepard's heart raced. He hadn't dared to hope, but now… He didn't know what to think. Mordin was probably just a crazy old man, but he was clearly a genius. Besides, the salarian reminded Shepard of her, in a way—or, at least, of when she was hyper and had just gotten a new omni-tool or program to play with.

Mordin opened his omni-tool. "Will give you our communications. Nothing confidential. Might be useful. Might not be. Can't say. Too many variables. No control." He narrowed his eyes, looking Shepard up and down. "Must observe. Gather data. Can't come to conclusions yet."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Reactions so far have been brash. Ruthless. Appropriate for Spectres. Saved my assistant. Said you let his captors go. Unexpected. Did not match initial observations. Must form new hypothesis. Yes. Could use brain scan. No, would aggravate biotic implants."

Now Shepard was staring to get annoyed. "Don't blow up the ship, Professor. And… thanks."

Mordin nodded. "Will start research on Collector swarms. Have much work to do." When Shepard was gone, Mordin shook his head. "Baffling. Must research human love. Need answers. Need to understand."


	37. Unrevised: Spectres

_**Disclaimer: **__Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I could imagine his background and actions during his military career. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of the events are my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>10 May 2185—Human Embassy, Presidium Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Anderson braced himself. Joker had warned him that Shepard wouldn't be sociable ("You'd better watch out, Admiral. The Commander lost his self-control somewhere between life and death and is going to go kamikaze on anything that annoys him"). The Council wasn't happy. They'd gotten wind that Shepard was now working for Cerberus. They wanted to keep his return quiet, if possible, but with how he was acting, it wouldn't be for long.

Shepard stalked in. He wore Cerberus armor. His facial scars glowed like embers. He looked more dangerous than ever.

"Commander. You…" Anderson didn't know how to continue. Shepard looked like he'd walked out of Hell itself. "It's good to see you."

Shepard nodded coldly. "I want to talk to the Council."

"They'll be calling shortly."

Shepard narrowed his eyes.

"They heard you're working with Cerberus," Anderson explained. "They aren't happy."

"I wonder how that news got out," Shepard muttered sarcastically. He went to the balcony and leaned against the railing, looking over the Presidium. It hadn't changed one bit.

Anderson joined him. "You think it was leaked?"

"Of course it was. The Illusive Man wouldn't keep his new toy a secret."

"Care to explain to me why you're with Cerberus?"

"Because Ci-Ci didn't accept their offer to work for them."

"I don't follow."

"She could have found me, but she refused, so Cerberus did instead. They brought me back and she didn't do a damn thing to help."

"Calm down, Commander."

Shepard gripped the railing, knuckles turning white.

"I saw her at the funeral," Anderson murmured. "I don't know how she was still standing. I've never seen anyone so shattered."

"You aren't helping."

Before Anderson could say anything else, the Council called. "Commander Shepard," the salarian councilor began. Shepard left the balcony and stood before the holos, arms crossed and fuming. "We haven't been hearing good things," the councilor continued. "Cerberus?"

"My duty hasn't changed. I will accomplish it by any means necessary," Shepard answered levelly. "Right now Cerberus are the only ones who believe the Reapers are a threat."

The asari councilor frowned. "This isn't wise."

"Then reinstate my Spectre status so I can spy on them for you. I won't hesitate to kill every last one of those bastards if they cross me."

The turian councilor's mandibles twitched into something resembling a smile. "If we do this, you will be responsible to us."

Shepard didn't move.

The Councilors exchanged looks. "Very well," the asari said. "We will reinstate you. Don't forget that you represent more than humanity, Commander."

He nodded and ended the transmission before they could give him a lecture.

"Old habits die hard?" Anderson mused.

Shepard shrugged.

"How are you doing?"

Shepard rolled his eyes. "How do you think?" For once, he wasn't being antagonistic. Anderson was a friend—or, at least, an ally. A real ally, not using him. "It's…"

"So you heard about Ci-Ci?"

"Yeah…" Shepard closed his eyes, dismissing images of her brutal death. "I heard."

"It's not supposed to be easy," Anderson murmured, putting a hand on Shepard's shoulder, "but it had to happen." Anderson, in a rare moment of oversight, assumed that Shepard knew Corinthia lived. The Commander had, according to his report, been back for a month. Corinthia wouldn't have lasted that long without saying something. Anderson was one of the few people who understood just how deep the connection between the two lieutenant commanders went. He had only ever seen them show their affection once, but it had been enough. Shepard didn't half-ass anything and Corinthia was one of the more guarded people Anderson had ever met. They wouldn't have started a relationship lightly. "It's only temporary."

Shepard snorted. He doubted that his rage would ever leave him; it was all he had left and he'd hold on to it for as long as he could.

"I should go," he said after a moment.

"The Alliance is going to try and get you back."

"With all due respect, sir, fuck them. I have a job to do."

As the Commander turned to leave, Udina walked in. "Commander Shepard," he greeted huffily.

"Meeting's over," Shepard growled.

"Anderson!" Udina roared.

"It's not my fault they made a decision without you," Anderson replied, smirking. The Admiral and the Human Councilor had never liked one another and, especially after how Anderson knocked Udina out to help Shepard steal the _Normandy_, their relationship had only worsened. "They called early and didn't wait for you."

His business finished, Shepard shoved his way past Udina.

"I want to talk to you, Commander!" Udina called.

Shepard didn't stop; Udina wasn't even worth the energy of flicking off.

Outside, Garrus was sitting on a bench, watching the various people walk by. "How'd it go, Commander?"

"I got their permission to kick ass," Shepard answered.

Garrus chuckled. "I'm glad that you've got at least one thing going for you. I tried my hand at the Spectres. Didn't make it." He touched his face thoughtfully. "Guess I really didn't have what it took."

"Ci-Ci's face looked worse than yours and she made it in."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that."

"Were you expecting me to call her beautiful?"

"I just assumed, but now that you mention it, I'd be surprised if you ever said that, either." Garrus stood. "Mordin went to take samples of the water or something like that. I can't understand a word that he says… It's like listening to Ci-Ci, when I first met her."

Shepard stiffened. He could only stand to talk about her so much before he would just... snap, and that threshold was rapidly approaching. Of all the things he could do, dealing with powerful emotions was not one of them. The Illusive Man's revelations had added confusion to the already boiling mix of feelings that Shepard was experiencing. He needed to do something straightforward, simple, and emotionless. Killing counted.

Garrus checked for eavesdroppers before murmuring,. "Are you sure about this, Shepard? Cerberus doesn't have the best track record, especially with you."

In reality, Shepard wasn't sure about anything. He was hiding behind rage and hatred to hide his uncertainty and pain. "They're a means to an end," he said after a moment. "I'll drop them when I don't need them."

"Well, you stole the _Normandy_ once..."

"They built it. They'd just find it again. I'd need someone to do a sweep of the entire thing, pull the plug on EDI..." Shepard shook his head. "I took the _Normandy_ before because the entire crew was loyal to me. This isn't the case. Hell, Garrus, I don't even know if you'll follow me where I'm going."

Garrus shrugged. "We'll see, Commander. A lot's changed."

"Tell me about it."

Garrus smiled. "Remember when we got drunk with Alenko?"

"What about it?"

"Just thinking about the old days. It's never going to be like that again, is it?"

"No. We're too fucked up."

"Yeah... Think we should start a club?"

"You're already on the crew. Same thing."

Mordin came over, muttering to himself. "Commander. Vakarian. Sorry. Had to check on something. Important research. Got distracted in Prothean art gallery. Nice pieces. Heavy human Greek influence. Expensive. Decadent. Wouldn't fit on _Normandy_."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shepard demanded.

"Though I had seen... Irrelevant. Past. Unsubstantiated opinion. No facts."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Back to the docks. We still have to meet that thief."

* * *

><p><strong>Warehouse, Zakera Ward, the Citadel<strong>

Kasumi snuck past the guards, her eyes on her target: the statue of Saren. Even though she had bought and paid for it, there just wasn't any fun in picking it up and bringing it to the _Normandy_. Ariadne left it up to Kasumi to rake it in whatever manner she wanted.

So, the master thief chose to steal her purchase.

Ariadne didn't make it easy. There was a lot of art poaching in the Citadel, where black market dealers stole from legitimate ones. Ariadne had avoided being a target by having better security than C-Sec and traps. LOTS of traps.

Kasumi, having broken in nearly ten times before, knew the routines, patrol routes, and general placement of the tripwires, false doors, and various other deceptive items. She also knew her way into the safe, where the art was stored. Ariadne didn't have the hardest safe to hack (because that would look suspicious), but it was enough to dissuade anyone but the best.

Kasumi would have had no problem getting through the safe door, even if she hadn't known Ariadne and hadn't had direct access to voice samples, DNA, and other things to disengage locks. Kasumi slipped into the safe. Every time she stepped inside, she took a moment to absorb everything. Ariadne's collection was magnificent. She had paintings from the greatest artists Earth ever produced, turian sculpture (almost impossible to obtain or see off of their home planet, Palaven), ancient Greek reliefs, asari statues… The thief had high-class tastes. It took every part of her self-control to only take the statue of Saren. Kasumi made a list of things to buy (and subsequently 'steal'), her eye specifically on a relief depicting the rage of Achilles over Iphigenia's death, before smuggling Saren out.

Within five minutes of putting the statue on the _Normandy_, Kasumi's omni-tool beeped. "Hello, Ariadne," she greeted.

"I see you got through in record time."

"You should update your passcodes. They're cycling again."

"I'll keep that in mind, but I can't afford to update my security every time you get through."

Kasumi shrugged. "It's just a suggestion."

"You also know that you're the only one who has ever gotten in, right?"

"Of course. You should see this place."

"I'll be fine, thanks."

Kasumi raised an eyebrow. "You sound distracted."

"Just saw someone… Nevermind. Anything you saw that you wanted?"

"A few things. Your collection's improved. That relief of Iphigenia and Achilles…"

"Don't even think about it."

"Ooh, so it has sentimental value."

"You have no idea," Ariadne muttered.

"I thought you didn't put anything valuable in there."

"Kasumi!" Shepard barked. "What the fuck is that doing here?"

"I have to go," the thief muttered, cutting the transmission.

On the other end, Ariadne stiffened. That had sounded like… No, it wasn't possible. He was long gone. It was too gruff to be him. Too cold. Too… It wasn't him.

She ran her fingers through her hair, combing out the tangles. She was on Illium, visiting Liara before going to a remote sector on Spectre business. The asari raised an eyebrow. "Are you alright? You look pale."

"Fine," Ariadne murmured.

"I thought you said that Kasumi did that all the time."

"It wasn't that."

"Yes, I heard it, too. You don't think…"

"No, I don't," Ariadne answered quickly. "But, back to business."

Liara nodded. "I have what you requested." She frowned. "I don't like this mission. I acquired the information too easily."

Liara had been tracking down the Collectors for Ariadne, only to find them working on Illium.

Ariadne shrugged. "That just means that they're on to me."

"Which means that they might know what really happened to you." Liara put her hand on Ariadne's shoulder. "Please, be careful."

Ariadne smiled coldly. "I'm always careful. Thanks for this." She left without another word.

Araidne had always liked Illium. It reminded her of Elysium, before it was destroyed: skyscrapers, purple and orange horizon, the rich living in the upper levels while the thieves and poor scrounged near the surface… Ariadne took a deep breath, only to cough furiously. Something about the pollution on Illium always gave her allergies. It annoyed her—as she tended to sneeze at the worst moments—but there was nothing she could do about it, not now; she'd already changed more than she wanted to by getting rid of her scars.

She stretched and headed to the docks. She'd acquired her own transport shortly after she left the Alliance, giving her the flexibility she needed to maneuver. She bought a piece of junk and customized it from the inside out. Not being a mechanic or having any training of the kind, she had made more than her fair share of mistakes with the machinery, especially because she tried to mimic the _Normandy_'s silent drive core. She'd miscalculated the drive's effect on fuel consumption, so she'd lost all power a couple times at inopportune moments, not to mention almost fried the ship computer by linking it to her omni-tool and trying—and failing—to hack into one of Cerberus's unhackable quantum entanglement transmissions (such as the Illusive Man used to communicate with Shepard and the _Normandy_). Over the last year, she'd fixed most of the glitches, but the thing was still finicky and had yet to have a consistent power draw. She called it the _Constance_.

She went into the cockpit, starting the engines and heading to the other side of Illium. In all honesty, she wasn't sure what she was going to do. She made it her business to stop the Collectors, Cerberus, and Shadow Broker at every turn, so she went after them whenever she had any kind of lead. She still had no idea why the Collectors had come after her and she intended to find out. They'd wanted her alive. She shuddered, thinking about what they would have done to her if they'd managed to capture her.

Her memory flashed to her escape. Even though she'd hid amongst the Shadow Broker agents, she had remained on the derelict Reaper for another twelve hours before departing. Her memory of what happened was vague and spotty, but she knew that something had changed in her… She just didn't know what and she intended to find out.

* * *

><p><strong>15 May 2183—Slaver Stronghold, Illium, <strong>**Tasale System, Crescent Nebula**

Corinthia watched from the rafters as the Collectors examined human slaves. One of the creature's eyes glowed orange, just like the one who'd called itself Harbinger.

"We'll take them all," Harbinger said. "And we'll pay you ten thousand."

The dealer, a batarian, snorted. "I can get fifty elsewhere."

"Their minds are broken. They are useless to anyone."

The batarian stroked one of the slave girl's cheeks. "I wouldn't say that."

"We have no use for such things. Ten thousand."

"Forty."

"Ten."

"Thirty."

Corinthia dropped to the ground. "Nothing."

The batarian rounded on her. "Who the hell are you?"

She didn't answer. Her eyes were locked with Harbinger's. Quick as lightning, she drew her pistol and shot the batarian between the eyes. The Collector backed away, raising its weapon to fire. Her omni-tool flared to life, crackling with electricity as she put her palm against the monster's chest and electrocuted it. Its eyes dulled just before it died. Another Collector slowly rose into the air, body tensing as it glowed orange.

"Assuming control," Harbinger growled.

Corinthia moved quickly, dodging into cover. Her mind was focused on one thing alone: destroying the enemy. She switched her pistol for her shotgun and a grenade.

The Collectors advanced slowly. "Bring her alive," Harbinger ordered.

She wasn't thinking. She _couldn't_ think. She rolled out of cover, tossing the grenade at Harbinger's feet and shooting the other Collectors in the heads. They flew back from the force of the impact, bodies decaying and floating apart like crushed leaves in smoke.

Shouts echoed in the room as the batarian's slaver compatriots joined the fray. She deftly dispatched them with her pistol and omni-tool (the latter via incineration and electrocution; not pretty).

The slaves screamed, muttering inanely. Corinthia suddenly gasped and blinked. "What the hell…?" she breathed, examining the damage. She remembered locking eyes with Harbinger, but that was it. By the looks of the bodies, Shepard had come by and killed everything in his path. But he wasn't there; she was.

"Did I do this?" she asked one of the slaves.

He nodded, continuing his muttering. "He must help the masters. Put back the purples and the reds. Then they won't punish him…"

Corinthia clenched a fist. Batarians did everything in their power to break the wills of their slaves, leaving them with an odd form of Stockholm Syndrome and unable to speak in the first person because they thought themselves to be animals, not people or individuals. There was nothing she could do for them other than call the authorities and hope that they could be rehabilitated.

Corinthia knelt by the Collectors to scan their bodies. Though she had no idea what she was going to do with the data, she needed to learn more about her enemy.

"C'mon, there's got to be something…"

Her omni-tool froze, shuddered, and changed interfaces. A squid-like machine appeared, floating eerily. "A Reaper…?"

"I am Harbinger," it said. "You wish to find me, here I am."

She wanted to end the transmission, but she couldn't bring herself to. "Who said I was looking for you?"

"You were in the body of one of my brothers. You hunt my workers. You have been… touched by what you have seen."

She remained silent.

"You have felt it, have you not? A voice whispering, showing you the truth. You know more about us than those before you. You have seen the damage we can do. You know that we cannot be defeated."

"We destroyed Sovereign."

"He was but one of thousands. Your pathetic race cannot continue. Do not fight us. We have uses for the strong of will and mind."

"Like Saren."

"He saw the truth."

"Like when he killed himself in the end?"

"He became weak. You will not. You are strong."

Corinthia closed her eyes, trying to calm her mind. Against her will, images flashed of the last Reaper invasion.

"Join us. You will be spared the fates of the masses."

She saw herself leading an army of geth and husks through the wreckage of the Citadel to a chorus of screams, shouts, and explosions. She looked like a Valkyrie, come to gather the spirits of the dead. Her eyes blazed, flashing bright blue like Saren's, and she moved faster than the regular humans. Nothing could stand in her way. She was invincible.

"You cannot fight us," Harbinger continued. "The change has already begun in you. You cannot resist for much longer. No one ever can."

Corinthia tried to clear her mind, but the images kept returning.

"This is your destiny."

She was weak; she always had been. Shepard had always had to come and bail her out. She couldn't beat Saren, and he had given in to the Reapers. She wasn't strong enough to fight them.

"Your will is bending. I can sense it."

Maybe she could give in, learn her enemy's ways and use that knowledge to fight them from within. It was a possibility….

"Join us. Together we can bring the galaxy to its knees."

An answer hovered on the tip of her tongue. Then she remembered Shepard. He would never give in, no matter how weak he felt. He would fight against all odds until he won or died trying. He _had_ died trying. If there was a body in his grave, he'd be rolling in it just because she considered the option.

If he were there, he would've cut off the transmission, trashed the omni-tool, and blown up the building for good measure.

But she wasn't Shepard. No one could ever be him but himself, and he was dead.

"You cannot fight me."

Corinthia opened her eyes. "Fuck you." She ripped her omni-tool off her arm, threw it on the ground, and stomped it into pieces.

But the whispers didn't stop.


	38. Unrevised: Explosion

**_Author's Note: _**_Thanks to LeroyZanzibar for betaing and letting me idea bounce! I appreciate all the help! :D_

**_Disclaimer: _**Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>15 May 2185—the <strong>_**Purgatory**_**, Osun System, Hourglass Nebula**

The second Shepard stepped onto the ship, he smelled a trap. Everyone he met had this idiotic idea that they could take him in a fight, which meant that anyone who had anything against him tried to do something stupid. He doubted that any for-profit prison would let him leave. There were enough bounties on his head to fund three very comfortable retirements.

The head of the prison ship was a turian calling himself Warden Kuril. He had been some kind of mercenary, but left when there wasn't enough money in it. Even if he didn't say it himself, Shepard knew the type.

The prison ship was large, with each prisoner contained in their own individual module. Mechanical arms would move them to the walkways so the prisoners could be fed or beaten. Shepard raised an eyebrow as several guards pummeled a prisoner into a pulp.

"What the hell did he do?" he muttered.

"What's it matter?" a guard answered. "He's in here, isn't he?"

Shepard clenched a fist, but did nothing. He knew how prisons worked, especially this one, where they housed the criminally insane and psychotic. No one in there was worth saving.

Well, except maybe Subject Zero. Maybe.

Kuril gestured to a holding area. "Subject Zero will be delivered shortly. Please wait here."

Shepard took out his assault rifle to be on the safe side. "Kasumi, get on the other side of the door," Shepard murmured. Even though she couldn't see her (she had cloaked herself before they every left the _Normandy_), he felt her walk past him.

Garrus shifted uneasily. "I don't like this, Shepard."

"Me neither." The Commander cracked his neck. "Get ready for a fight."

Garrus should've known that Shepard would do something like this. Working with Shepard meant that every time you set foot outside the _Normandy_, you got into a firefight.

A door at the back of the area slid open. "Please enter the cell. I'm sorry, Commander, but you're worth more to me than the bail on Subject Zero."

Outside, two loud thuds echoed as Kasumi dispatched the door guards.

Shepard smirked and deactivated the safety on his weapons. "Let the fun begin."

* * *

><p>Things were dead. That meant that Jack was happy. She'd ripped her fucking captors to shreds with her biotics.<p>

Damn, it felt good to be out.

She needed a ship. There was a massive one in the dock, the Cerberus log emblazoned on the side. She clenched her fists, gritting her teeth in rage. She screamed, her biotics flaring, trying to destroy the symbol of her hatred.

She heard footsteps behind her. Some idiots never quit…

"You Subject Zero?" a man with a deep voice asked.

"You Cerberus?" she answered coldly.

"Not by choice."

She turned. He looked tough and dangerous, like her. He could've used some tattoos to go with his nasty, orange-glowing scars. He had a shotgun in one hand, but it wasn't aimed at her, and a highly-concentrated biotic field floating around the other.

"Name's Shepard and I'm not to be fucked with."

"Sounds familiar," Jack answered coldly. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Your help."

She snorted. "Fuck off."

"And just how were you planning on leaving? Taking a burning ship with you? If you don't want to work with me, fine. I'll drop you off somewhere."

Jack looked at the _Normandy_ and then to Shepard. There was a dark kind of fire in his eyes, something deep driving him. His companions looked like pussies, though, but they also didn't look like Cerberus. "This a Cerberus ship?"

He nodded.

"If I go with you, I get access to their records."

"Only if you stay and work with me."

"Do I get to kill stuff?"

His eyes flashed dangerously, his lips twitching into a cruel smile.

Jack crossed her arms, looked him up and down, and nodded. "Fine. Let's get out of this shit-hole."

* * *

><p><strong>20 May 2185—<strong>_**SSV Normandy SR-2**_**, orbiting Korlus, Imir System, Eagle Nebula**

The Kodiak shuttle hovered over the floor of the cargo bay for a moment before landing. Miranda was waiting, hand on her cocked hip, looking sexy and inviting.

He wasn't tempted.

"Fuck off," he growled. He motioned for the crew to start unloading the pod with the newest addition to their crew, a tube-grown krogan.

"We need to talk, Commander," Miranda said.

"I'm busy."

"You can still listen."

"I don't want to talk to you," he hissed, advancing on her. "So get the fuck out of my sight."

"Careful, Commander. You aren't the only biotic here."

"And we've been over this before: You can't kill me."

"Can't or won't?"

"Pick one." He turned back to help with the unloading.

Miranda grabbed his arm. "We're trying to help you, Shepard. You can't estrange us like you have been."

He threw her off. "I can do whatever the fuck I want."

"You say that word a lot."

"I do that when I'm pissed."

Miranda crossed her arms. "I don't like how you're conducting this investigation."

"Who said that this was an investigation?"

"I did."

He laughed bitterly. "So that's what you think this is?"

"This can't be about revenge. This is about humanity!"

"FUCK HUMANITY!" Shepard roared. "I'm not doing this for you, them, or anything. This is for me. Now get the fuck out of my way before I rip your fucking head off."

Jack could hear him yelling, even in her dark spot. She smirked. She liked Shepard, mostly because he hated the cheerleader bitch, too, but hey, it was a start. She never thought she'd meet a man after her own heart. Oh, the fun they could have together…

Miranda shoved Shepard away with a biotic field. "There's more at stake than your revenge."

"If you want me to cooperate, then bring her back."

Miranda gaped. "So that's it, then? This is all about her?"

Shepard didn't answer.

"Oh my God…" She laughed. "The great Commander Shepard is driven by a woman."

Shepard clenched his fist. Everyone in the room could hear him snap. "You don't get it, do you?" he started, his voice dangerously calm and quiet. A chill crept up Miranda's spine as he advanced on her. "Cassiopeia was everything to me. She was why I fought, breathed, lived. She was my best friend and the woman I loved. But you won't get just how important that is, you heartless bitch. You don't have any ounce of emotion. You aren't even human enough to understand how powerful Love can be. If I had known what it was going to do to me, I never would have been nice to her. So, yes, I'm driven by a woman, and you can never, ever be half the woman she was."

Miranda rolled her eyes, but her heart was pounding. Shepard angry had been one thing, but his voice had been unadulterated hatred and every ounce of it had been directed at her. "Unbelievable..."

Shepard narrowed his eyes, leaning in closer. "This is about revenge, Miranda," he continued calmly. "It always has been and that isn't about to change. You brought me back so that I can save the galaxy my way. If you don't like it, then get the fuck off my ship and let me do my job!" He pushed past her and stormed into the elevator.

Miranda blinked. She'd expected him to yell, but having him speak so levelly had been twenty times more chilling. "It seems that I underestimated him," she murmured. She wasn't going to make that mistake again.

Kasumi leaned in the Kodiak, guilt rising. She understood Shepard's anger and hatred only too well. Worse, she had the solution to his problem, but if she told him, he'd kill her for withholding information—

Wait, what was she thinking? She was a thief. She could sneak Shepard most anything and he'd never find out where it came from. Games were always more fun, anyway. Kasumi snuck to her observation deck to plan the scavenger hunt.

* * *

><p>Shepard stared at the holo on his desk. A young Corinthia stared back at him, arms slung around the shoulders of a couple salarians. She was just a kid—she didn't even have her scars—but it was better than nothing. Mordin had given it to him.<p>

"Here. Look at this. Old holo. Graduation. Reminder of motivation."

Shepard didn't need another reminder. He thought about it every time he looked in the mirror and saw his facial scars.

"Amusing moment. Said she wouldn't be an artist. Would join the Alliance. Good decision. Listened to advice." Mordin had smiled. "Proud."

_Two years_, Shepard thought. He'd kissed her for the first time two years ago to the day. He remembered how amazing (if not awkward) it was, just to hold her for the first time and know that she was truly his. He had been lucky—no, blessed—to have someone like her: a spark that, though small, could banish the darkness, become contagious, addicting… She was the impossible incarnate. He still didn't know how or why they'd been friends. He wasn't even sure why he'd broken the regs and taken her out to drinks after Akuze (only officers of the same rank could interact socially), but he didn't regret anything that he'd done to be her friend. He couldn't. She'd brought out the best in him, helped him rise above his past and give himself a future. Maybe it was her unquenchable optimism, or maybe it was because she saw something in him that no one else ever had, but she'd believed and coached him through every bad moment and tough decision. If it hadn't been from her, he never would have tried to do the right thing instead of the easy, efficient, or badass thing. They'd had four and a half months together, which made what should've been the worst five months of his life the best he'd ever had.

Now, though… He'd been alive for thirty-nine days and his anger had yet to subside. If anything, it had gotten stronger than ever before. Grief was supposed to fade. It was supposed to abate. He was supposed to get over her.

How the hell was he supposed to do that? Every sappy cliché about having someone you love become a part of you and your soul was right. He knew that she'd changed him. As dark, cold, and ruthless as he acted, he hadn't forgotten the guilty twinge of pleasure from doing the right thing (like releasing the rachni queen, saving that kid from becoming a merc…). It was the only way besides revenge that he could honor her. He was the only one who needed to know how much she meant.

For a brief moment, the idea of replacing her crossed his mind, but that was impossible. No one could ever mean the same thing, find the same place in his heart. That side of him had died with her and it wasn't coming back. The hole gaped, yearning to be filled, aching more with every passing day, but nothing but her could ever fill it.

He only had two things left: Pain and anger.

His computer beeped, indicating a new message. In order to avoid drifting into another coma of rage, he opened it, only to find himself staring at an ad for a Prothean art gallery on the Presidium. He had no idea how they'd gotten his address, unless the Illusive Man was trying to send him a message, but why the hell would Shepard want a Prothean statue or some kind of Greek sculpture? He hated art. Well, he didn't have any need of it, not aboard a war vessel.

"Commander, the Illusive Man wishes to speak with you," EDI announced.

Shepard groaned. "Can't you tell him to go away?"

"He says it's urgent, Commander."

"I don't care."

EDI paused before saying, "He says that he has information regarding the Collectors."

Shepard froze, his heart racing. "What kind of information?"

"He asks that you come speak to him to find out for yourself."

* * *

><p>The Illusive Man lit a cigarette. "Shepard, good news: We know where the Collectors are going to hit next."<p>

Shepard crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"This is a rare opportunity."

"Get the point," Shepard growled. "Where are they and how long do I have?"

"Horizon. If you leave now, you may be able to beat them there."

"Fine." Shepard hung up before the Illusive Man could say anything else. "You hear that, Joker?"

"Yeah, I heard. We're already en route."

"I didn't have choice, did I?"

"I couldn't help it. EDI plugged in the coordinates before you even accepted the call."

"Whipped, are we?"

"I hate you, Commander."


	39. Unrevised: Horizon

_**A/N (9/30/2011): **With the posting of the last chapter (Chp 38), I reached over 10,000 hits for this story. Thank you, everyone, for reading! I greatly appreciate it, your feedback, and hope that you enjoy what's to come in the future!_

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>22 May 2185—Horizon, Iera System, the Shadow Sea<strong>

Grunt inhaled deeply. After all that time in the tank, hearing about the warrior's life, he was finally going to live it.

Next to him, Shepard sat, calm, leaning his head against the back of the shuttle. He looked asleep, but he was meditating… preparing for the battle to come.

Garrus checked his sniper rifle. "Are you sure that the swarms will only affect humans, Commander?"

Shepard nodded, not opening his eyes. His blood was still boiling from his argument with Miranda, but his heart beat was calm and breathing steady. He was determined to remember every Collector he killed. He was going to cut out their heart—if they had one—and make them watch it stop beating.

Grunt shifted in his seat, eager to get on the ground. "Can't this thing go any faster?" he growled. "I want… I need…" He shook his head, unable to find the words. He'd been out of the tank for six hours. Okeer had spoken words to him, but they hadn't meant anything. He had images of battles from the past, of krogan warlords destroying rachni, of prying up the faceplate of a turian… It was beautiful.

Garrus shied away from Grunt. "Shepard, are you sure that it was a good idea to let this guy out?"

The Illusive Man had sent Shepard to find a krogan scientist named Dr. Okeer. The krogan had died at the end of the mission, but his work to make the perfect krogan—namely, Grunt—had survived. Much to the crew's chagrin, Shepard had let Grunt out.

Of course, releasing a blood-thirsty krogan into the wild was probably not such a good idea. Grunt had tackled Shepard, named himself, and threatened to kill the Commander. Shepard, in a surprising bout of calm, simply put his pistol in Grunt's stomach and talked the krogan down, earning Grunt's respect.

The shuttle landed. Shepard jumped out the doors as soon as there was enough room for him to get through. Grunt and Garrus came out directly afterwards.

Horizon looked to be in the middle of a drought. The grass was yellow and brown, the sky was dusty, and everything smelled dry.

"Where are all the people?" Garrus murmured.

"The Collectors must already have gotten here," Shepard answered angrily.

"Commander, I'm still getting readings from the surface," Joker radioed.

"And I can see the swarms up ahead," Garrus added.

Shepard took out his assault rifle and put his finger on the trigger. "It's going to be a good day."

* * *

><p>Shepard put his foot on the Collector's throat and emptied his pistol magazine into its head.<p>

Grunt smirked. "That's what I'm talking about."

Garrus holstered his sniper rifle. "You alright, Shepard?"

The Commander didn't answer. His blood was pumping the need for violence through his veins. The edges of his vision were tinted red. The world pulsed in time with his heartbeat, his focus on the Collector's decimated head. It wasn't enough. Every dead monster just made him want to kill ten more. He was drowning in his desire for revenge, sinking into an abyss from which there was no return.

"I think that's all of them, Commander," Garrus continued. "Our work is done here. Do you want me to call Joker?"

Shepard reached for another thermal clip and loaded his pistol again.

Grunt chuckled. "I don't think he's done here, yet."

Garrus understood what Shepard was feeling. Garrus's ten-man squad had been betrayed by a fellow turian named Sidonis. Garrus had killed all those mercenaries on Omega to avenge his team; Sidonis was the last one. But Garrus was after justice, not just revenge. Shepard wanted only the latter. He'd taken the time to make the Collectors' deaths slow and painful (if they even felt pain, because they didn't act like it). Garrus couldn't say something as trite as, "Killing them more won't bring her back" because Garrus thought that killing Sidonis would end things, just like Shepard thought that killing the Collectors would end things.

Shepard suddenly holstered his pistol. He shook his head, like a robot glitching, and blinked dazedly. "You say something, Garrus?"

The turian nodded. "Want me to get Joker to send a shuttle?"

"Yeah… Yeah…" Shepard ran a hand over his head and looked around like he was seeing everything for the first time.

It had been a slaughter. After going through the colony and wiping out every Collector they passed, they had reached the central control console, where EDI had made them activate the colony's newly-installed defense turrets. In the end, it didn't do any good because Shepard had already killed everything. Collector bodies were everywhere, not to mention those of husks and various other larger, fiercer monsters. If most of the colonists hadn't already been loaded onto the Collectors' ship, they would've died in Shepard's rampage. Hell, he'd almost killed Garrus and Grunt with a casually aimed shot from his grenade launcher.

They were in the docks, leaning against the various cargo crates and trying to catch their breath. They'd been fighting for hours on end (as was usual, with Shepard leading the way). Grunt seemed to be completely at ease, grinning as he reenacting his favorite kills. Garrus opened his omni-tool to hail Joker for a shuttle. Shepard walked a bit away from them in an attempt to gather his thoughts.

The Collectors were ugly bastards. Every so often, one would start glowing orange and call itself "Harbinger". It had sent chills up his spine, just like Sovereign's voice had. There was something bigger going on than abducting colonists. Shepard had been too fixated on revenge to care, but the fact was that he felt even emptier than he had before. He wasn't so blinded by rage that he couldn't tell when enough was enough.

Besides, if the Reapers were behind the Collectors, then he'd hunt down and destroy every last one of them.

On the other side of the docks, Kaidan Alenko couldn't believe his eyes. Shepard was alive. He was still up to his old tricks—doing what he did best, annihilating things and accidentally saving everything else.

Alenko had been sent to Horizon to set up defenses for the colony. Neither he, his team, nore the colonists had been prepared for the Collector swarms. He'd been stung, putting him into a paralyzed state where he was conscious of everything around him but couldn't move. Shepard's timely arrival had stopped the Collectors in their tracks, but they still managed to leave with three-quarters of the colony. Alenko had never felt so useless in his life.

Still, it was good to see Shepard again. There had been rumors circulating that he'd been spotted in the Terminus Systems, every so often on the Citadel as well, and Alenko had seen that Shepard's Spectre status had been reissued, but it didn't lessen the shock of actually seeing the man. He looked nothing short of evil.

"You know, most people wouldn't look so grumpy after stopping an invasion," Kaidan started.

Shepard turned, smirking. "Alenko."

"I thought you were dead."

"I may as well be."

Alenko raised an eyebrow. "So you heard about her…"

"And you know me well enough to know how I reacted."

"I thought I did, but this…" Alenko gestured to the insignia on Shepard's armor. "Cerberus?"

"I don't have a choice," Shepard growled. "They're the ones that brought me back and they're the only ones that are doing a damned thing about the Collectors."

"Hey, I was sent here to take care of them."

"And you walked straight into a trap. They were using you as bait for the Collectors."

"And for you."

"You knew?"

"I suspected." Alenko crossed his arms. "The Council stopped caring about the Reapers and Collectors when Ci-Ci died. I've been dragged across the galaxy from assignment to assignment, half-trying to follow her tracks. This is the first time that the Alliance seemed to want to do something about the threat, and then you show up. Figures."

"I saved your ass. You should be grateful."

"I might be if you weren't working for those bastards."

"I'd kill every last one of them if I could, but I can't afford to, not yet."

"Sure you can't."

"The second they cross the line, it's their heads."

"I wish I could believe that."

Shepard narrowed his eyes. "So why the hell don't you?"

Alenko sighed. "There's no point in arguing because I'm not going to change my mind about Cerberus and you're more stubborn than I am."

"Agreed."

They stood in awkward silence for another moment. "You should leave," Alenko finally said. "I'll cover for you."

"Are you going to at least try and make the Alliance see the threat?"

"I'll see what I can do. I was good to see you, Commander."

"One last thing."

Alenko raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Did Ci-Ci ever say anything about… me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did she have any idea that I would be coming back?"

"I don't think that anyone did, and she sure as hell never mentioned it. I think that sif she had any idea you were coming back that she would never have let herself get killed. You know how optimistic she was… Then again, she kinda lost that after you died." Alenko shrugged. "It was like she was trying to be you, sometimes. She was pretty good at it, too. The Alliance tried everything to get her back. They were going to make her a full Commander or a Captain, let her have her own ship—you know the drill. She ignored them all and just disappeared into the Terminus Systems. The only thing she told me about was that she was going after Cerberus because they were doing something else that was inhuman or immoral. I can't even remember the reasons, but I'm sure _you_ know what I'm talking about."

Shepard flexed his fingers. "Yeah… And I bet every last experiment they were doing was to bring me back, too."

"I wouldn't put it past them."

"Neither would I. But are you sure that she didn't… dismiss me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Did she find someone else?"

Alenko laughed. "Are you kidding me? The one time I managed to get her to go get a drink with me she broke a guy's arm when he hit on her, and he wasn't some punk. I mean, half of the women in the bar were staring at him. That was nine months ago. She never got over you, Shepard. From the way she stared, I sometimes wonder if she let herself get cornered and killed."

Shepard clenched a fist. "Did she ever try and find me?"

"I think it would've killed her. Burying you once was hard enough."

Shepard would believe Alenko any day over the Illusive Man. "Thanks, Kaidan. If you'll excuse me, I have someone else to kill."

* * *

><p><strong>Unknown Location, the Terminus Systems<strong>

The Illusive Man triple checked his findings. If he wasn't so angry, he would've smiled. Corinthia had convinced the galaxy, including the Shadow Broker and the Illusive Man, that she was dead without actually dying.

She was good.

But now the Illusive Man was looking at Ariadne Enig and unable to believe how he'd missed it. Though a little bit of make-up and a new haircut could do wonders for a woman, Corinthia had managed to create an entirely different person with new mannerisms, past, family, friends… But she hadn't changed her face, beyond removing the scars, and anyone who knew her well would be able to figure the truth out.

The Illusive Man could only hope that Shepard wouldn't.

Telling the Commander that Corinthia had, in fact, survived would cause more problems than it solved. Shepard would inevitably leave Cerberus and join her. If she was still responsible for destroying the Cerberus Cells, she would use Shepard's resources and, in all likelihood, track down the Illusive Man himself, put a gun to his head, and kill him without batting an eyelash.

However, letting Shepard know she was alive could also gain the Commander's trust. The Illusive Man had underestimated Shepard's dedication to the woman once, but he wouldn't do it again. Miranda's reports had been nothing short of shocking. _The _Commander Shepard, motivated by revenge for a woman? Inconceivable.

There was also Corinthia herself to keep in mind. She had once said that she would work for Cerberus if they brought back Shepard. They had done that. The Illusive Man could send Shepard to recruit her… but would she accept? Or would she use the opportunity?

The Illusive Man couldn't read either of them anymore. Not once had they acted in accordance to his guesses. Shepard would act ruthless and then do the merciful thing. Corinthia would giggle before putting a bullet in someone's head (she'd done it plenty of times, according to the reports). They were loose cannons and the Illusive Man wanted to be in control.

To his surprise, his communication line with the _Normandy_ beeped. He opened it. "Yes?"

"You're a fucking liar," Shepard growled dangerously. "You said that she wanted nothing else to do with me."

"I had no way of knowing her actual feelings, but I assumed based on her actions," the Illusive Man answered, thinking quickly.

"Did she know about the mission to recover my body?"

"I—"

"And don't lie to me again or I will come and kill you."

"She never gave me the opportunity. She pointed a gun at my head."

"She should've killed you."

"I know better than to show myself in public, especially to someone who's been known to kill my operatives. She did try to kill me, but we were communicating much as you and I are now." The Illusive Man reached to the arm of his chair, took a cigarette out of its pack, and lit up. "Even if I had told her, I don't think that she would've accepted. She doesn't compromise."

"If she didn't want to work for you, then neither do I."

"You don't have a choice, Shepard. I made you. If you leave, you lose everything—your squad, your crew, your ship…"

"And you can't afford to lose me, either. I'm your best pawn. If I go, you've got nothing."

The Illusive Man took a deep drag from his cigarette. True, Shepard was a pawn. Everyone within Cerberus was. "We're working towards the same goals, Shepard. You did well on Horizon. It won't be long before I have another lead on the Collectors."

"You do this on purpose."

"What makes you say that?"

"Leading me on, never telling me shit until after the fact. If you want my help, you'd better start talking."

The Illusive Man had to make a decision and he had to do it immediately. He bought himself time by sipping his drink and smoking contemplatively. "Fine. I have one more lead that you can look into now."

"What is it, this time? More people to recruit?"

"I've already sent Miranda the dossiers. This is something different, about the person hunting us. I have evidence that the Lazarus Cell is next. That means that they're coming after you." He tapped ash off the end of his cigarette. He was lying (as per usual), but this time it would work. It had to. "We have to act while we still have the upper hand. They don't know that I've discovered their identity."

"So do something about it."

"They already took out my best teams. That leaves you."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Are you fucking serious? I'm not your errand boy."

"You won't regret this, Commander. I can guarantee it. I don't know their actual identity, but I know that they use an art gallery on the Citadel as a front."

Shepard couldn't believe the nerve of the Illusive Man. "Oh my God..."

"It's owned by your friend, Dr. T'Soni."

Shepard froze. "What?"

"You heard me. She invested quite a bit of money into expeditions to recover Prothean artifacts. This one in particular is managed by someone named Ariadne Enig. She may know more. Just be your usual charming self and I'm sure that this will come to a hasty conclusion."

"What makes you think I'm going to even bother doing this?"

The Illusive Man leaned forward. "My research also uncovered something else that might interest you: Ariadne and Corinthia were close, though how close I can't be sure. It would seem that Corinthia created that entire identity a year ago, though as to why we can't be sure, but Ariadne has been in near constant contact with Liara and Corinthia ever since—or, at least, until Corinthia disappeared."

"Died."

"Her body was never found, Commander. That could mean anything."

"This is a waste of my time."

The Illusive Man smiled. "I'll send you the information I have on Ariadne. She could very well be the one we're looking for."

Shepard wanted nothing more than to kill the Illusive Man, but shooting out the holo communicator wasn't going to make him feel better.

"If anything," the Illusive Man continued, "Ariadne can tell you what happened to Corinthia between when you died and when we brought you back. Don't you want to know?"

"Fuck you," Shepard breathed, ending the transmission. "Joker?"

"Yes, Commander?" the pilot answered.

"Take us to the Citadel."

"Aye, aye, Commander."

* * *

><p><strong>25 May 2185—Ariadne's Apartment, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Corinthia stared at the ceiling. She was lying on her bed, replaying her last mission over and over again in her mind.

She knew she wasn't going insane, even though she had all the symptoms of schizophrenia (mood swings, voices in her head...). Worse, Harbinger's words kept ringing in her ears as clearly as he'd said them to her. No matter what she did, she couldn't make them stop. She could ignore them, usually, but they kept gnawing at the back of her mind.

Still, they hadn't convinced her that everyone was doomed. At least, they hadn't yet. She was going to fight. The dreams of glory still floated around, but she changed them to be of her leading a victorious army of… of… krogan warlords and asari justicars and velociraptors (because she could). Yeah, that was more like it. With a giant deep-fryer to cook up the squid-like Reapers into calamari. Maybe some gratuitous shirtless boy-toy hotties for the hell of it… And, of course, Shepard. She couldn't forget him. He made everything better… And awesome... And epic. If she was going to fantasize, she was going to do it right: hero with big gun, torn tight shirt, and sexy five-o-clock shadow. She could cling to him—or something—and get swept off her feet, saved… Nah. That didn't work. She liked kicking ass and surprising him. Oh, the look he'd have on his face when he'd walk into the room to save her and find her smiling in the middle of a pile of baddies' bodies… He'd probably kiss the hell out of her and ravage her in celebration. If she'd let him. Well, this _was_ a fantasy, so they could be married and she'd let him…

Her tactics worked. The voices dimmed a little. She smirked. "Never underestimate the power of an overcreative mind and attention deficit disorder," she murmured.

Her omni-tool beeped. It was sitting on her work bench, open and installing a new hacking module she'd created. She rolled out of bed, opened the communication line, and answered as Ariadne. "Hello, Kasumi."

"Ariadne," the thief answered. "I have a referral."

"This can't be good…"

"Don't worry. He isn't a thief."

"Sure…"

"Don't look at me like that. His name is Solomon Gunn. He saw one of your pieces in my collection and wanted to get some for himself."

"I thought you were on a mission."

Kasumi shrugged. "That doesn't mean that I don't have a social life."

"You're a thief, Kasumi. You're always cloaked."

"Are you going to meet him or not?"

"Fine. Just let me open my calendar…"

"He's just going to walk in there, you know."

"Yeah, well, I have other things to do." She flicked her fingers through the omni-tool interface until she found what she wanted. "I'm booked all the way through next week…"

"He's already on the Citadel. Can't you stay late tomorrow?"

Ariadne tapped her fingers against her teeth idly. "I guess…" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing."

"Are you trying to match make? Again?"

"There wasn't a first time."

"I beg to differ. This is the fourth time you've called in the last two weeks to try and get me to come meet you somewhere. You kept telling me there was someone I had to meet."

"Okay, okay. You got me. It's Solomon. I thought you'd like him, that's all."

"You already know the only man that does it for me."

"I think you'll make an exception." Kasumi smiled mischievously. "Trust me."

"I was afraid you'd say that…"

"What's wrong? I just want to see you happy."

"We're friends, Kasumi, but you're pushing the boundaries."

"You can't just sit and mope for the rest of your life."

"Watch me."

Kasumi sighed. "I know how hard it is to move on, but you can't have a future if you don't give yourself a chance to have one."

"I haven't seen you trying."

"I've got my eye on someone."

"Oh? Who's that?"

"His name's Jacob Taylor."

Ariadne frowned.

"You know him?" Kasumi asked.

"I… Nevermind." Ariadne had heard his name. Jacob had stopped a terrorist plot and saved the Citadel Council, but because he was Cerberus, the entire thing had been hushed over. Corinthia had, at the time, been in the process of destroying a Cerberus faction, but even one man's bravery hadn't convinced her to stop her work. "Well, I'm happy for you," she added with a smile. "Does he have any idea?"

"No. We haven't even talked, yet. I just watch him work out. Mmm, those abs…"

"Stalker."

"What can I say? I'm a shallow woman. So, you'll meet Solomon?"

"Yes, yes. I will. As a favor."

"You won't regret it. I promise." Kasumi hung up and turned to Shepard. "It's done."

They were in her observation deck on the _Normandy_. She was sitting on her couch with her omni-tool on whilst Shepard sat at the bar, out of the connection's video feed, but within earshot.

He crossed his arms. "What was that all about?"

"What?"

"Jacob?"

Kasumi blushed. "Well, you'd bite my head off if I did it to you."

"Damn right. Are you sure this is going to work?"

Kasumi had, being her sneak self, overheard Shepard's conversation with the Illusive Man and offered to get Shepard into Ariadne's gallery a bit more tactfully than he might have otherwise.

"Of course it will. Ariadne is as well connected as the Shadow Broker. She would know if anything was happening in her gallery."

Shepard nodded absently. He couldn't help but feel like Ariadne was familiar, somehow. He'd only been able to see the edge of the holo, but the voice… The only English woman he knew was Dr. Chakwas, and she was sitting in medical, but Ariadne's still did something to his stomach, making it tie up, float around… He recognized the feeling as something Corinthia had done to him in his weaker moments (or when he let himself stare at her ass) and it unnerved him that a total stranger could do it, too.

He dismissed it from his mind. "Fine. Let's just get this over with. I have more important things to do."

Kasumi shrugged. "Suit yourself. Speaking of which, there's a present for you in your quarters."

"What?"

"You can't go into that gallery in your armor. It ought to fit you nicely." Kasumi winked. "Just remember that you're a vicious mercenary."

"I am vicious."

"I gave you a background and everything. It's all on a datapad by the suit."

"Whatever." Shepard poured himself another drink. "What did you mean when you said that she knew how she felt?"

Kasumi's face darkened. "I lost someone. My partner. Keiji…" She whispered the last word, almost reverently.

He recognized the pain in her voice. "I'm sorry," Shepard answered, his voice surprisingly soft. "Is there anyone on this fucking ship that hasn't had something they cared about ripped away from them?"

"Joker."

"That was the first _Normandy_."

"Dr. Chakwas?"

"Most of the few friends she manages to make."

"Jacob?"

"He hasn't said, but he acts like he's been hurt."

"Miranda, then."

"That bitch doesn't have a heart."

"What about Jack?"

"She's got 'tormented' tattooed to her forehead. If not there, then somewhere else, at least."

"Grunt can't count; he only just came out of the tank."

"And he doesn't care about anything but killing, but he technically lost his father with Okeer."

"Zaeed's just full of old stories, too, but something probably happened to him, too."

"Garrus lost his team."

"That leaves Mordin…" Kasumi and Shepard locked eyes before they snorted with laughter.

"There's no way that son of a bitch would even care," Shepard said.

"But he might regret something… but that would only be if something didn't go according to plan, I guess. He doesn't seem like the type to do something without having weighed all the consequences, though."

Shepard drained his drink and reached to pour another. "We're all just fucked-up, aren't we?"

Kasumi shrugged. "I like it that way. It keeps things interesting."

"Tell me about it…" Shepard toyed with his glass. "How do you know Ariadne?"

"She caught me stealing something from her warehouse."

"I thought you were too good to get caught."

"It wasn't any fault of mine. She just happened to walk right into me and disable my cloaking device. She actually thought the whole thing was really funny. She's let me take stuff ever since, so long as I pay. Eventually. She's really nice. You'll like her."

"Don't push it, Kasumi."

The thief shrugged. "I think you'll see what I mean. I was surprised you weren't trying to get a look at her."

"I'm not interested in other women. Not like that."

"Of course you aren't." Kasumi smirked.

"Stop that," Shepard growled. "You're making me paranoid. I don't like it when people don't tell me things."

"I'm not hiding anything. You just have to ask me the right question."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm done with this shit. Just don't follow me tomorrow. I don't trust that you'll keep your eyes to yourself."

"I'll only follow if you take Jacob."

"If you do, I'll tell him why he keeps thinking that he's being watched."

Kasumi paled. "You wouldn't…"

"Watch me."

She crossed her arms, pouting. "Fine. I'll stay here. I promise I'll be good." She waited until he left to add, "…Mostly."


	40. Unrevised: Reunion

**_A/N: _**_Thanks again to LeroyZanzibar for betaing part of this! I appreciate it greatly!_

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>26 May 2185—Hellas Gallery, Presidium Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Shepard tugged at his collar uncomfortably. His dress uniform was bad enough, but this... monkey suit was horrible. It wasn't that it looked bad-because it didn't at all-but rather that everyone was taking a second glance at him or watching him walk by. He couldn't even carry a sidearm (since he'd get arrested for having one on the Citadel without the "proper authorization"-i.e. a military uniform). He glared at several women who started giggling as he passed, all the while thinking that Corinthia would've had a heart attack if she saw him in this get-up. She'd always teased him about never really being out of uniform or never dressing up for anything, but she'd been one to talk; she hadn't worn a dress or skirt that wasn't part of her dress blues since she joined the Alliance. The mere thought of her in heels almost made Shepard laugh as he envisioned her wobbling around awkwardly, rolling her ankles and eventually getting him to carry her to her destination or just giving up and going barefoot.

Of all the times he'd been on the Presidium, this was the first that people weren't looking down at him. Though the military was (mostly) respected, the populous of the area tended to be rich, snobby, and resented anyone representing "the common man". Shepard was anything but common, even if he didn't know his parent's names and had grown up on the streets, but he'd never really fit in anywhere except the military before. It felt strange to not be looked up or down at. Corinthia had been the only one to ever look at him eye-to-eye (or as close as she could come, being quite a bit shorter than him), but he knew that he didn't belong. He would never belong, not with those snobs.

The Hellas Gallery opened invitingly to the Presidium, looking something between an art museum and a park. Its entrance was a large balcony overlooking the Mass Relay monument and Council Tower. Several trees grew there, their roots cushioned by flowers and surrounded by benches. Several statues and sculptures sat in the open, artistically framed by branches, trellises, or fountains. People of all species littered the area, reading, talking, or nuzzling in the semi-private.

Shepard gagged. It was like some kind of Victorian fairy tale nightmare or a romance novel or something equally revolting. Still, he swallowed his repulsion walked determinedly inside.

The moment he was out of the gardens, he felt better. The interior of the gallery was modernly decorated, with tasteful and intriguing pieces set in the foyer to pull in the would-be customer even more. Shepard, who had never really liked art to begin with, found himself examining a turian sculpture of... something. He didn't know what it was supposed to be, nor could he even begin to describe it other than deceptively simplistic, but it made him think of power.

Behind the front desk, Mia watched him carefully. He certainly looked like the sort of clients Ariadne kept dragging in-rich mercenaries who were trying to cover their illicit tracks with expensive toys-but something about him didn't quite fit with the others... Like that he wasn't slimy. He hadn't oozed in or started turning on the charm; he'd walked in like he knew exactly what he was looking for and hadn't offered up a single smile.

Finally, he seemed to notice her. She smiled genially. "Welcome to the Hellas Gallery. Is there anything I can help you with?"

He slowly strode forward, eyeing the rest of the marble-gilt room. "My name's Solomon Gunn. I have an appointment with Ms. Enig."

Mia checked the logs. "I don't see anything... Are you sure?"

"Positive."

The asari shuddered under his cold, determined gaze. "Just let me ask her. She's with another client at the moment. If you'll excuse me..." Mia stood and darted into the main gallery, feeling Shepard's gaze follow her all the way. Ariadne was standing in front of a marble relief, arms crossed and listening intently to a salarian babble about something. She wore a dark red dress, cut to enhance every curve she had without pushing the bounds of modesty, but still managing to be attractive. The top half of her long hair was pulled up into an artistic knot. She nodded when Mia whispered in her ear, but never took her gaze off the salarian.

Shepard's heart started to beat faster. He recognized her posture only too well, the way her cheek curved and her hips cocked...

She laughed suddenly and smiled, gesturing to the relief they were looking at and explaining something about it. She reached up and brushed her hair behind her ears, tilting her head just enough that Shepard could see her face.

His knees buckled. He quickly turned his back to her, his mind racing. It was her. _Her_. She was alive, there, real, touchable, within his reach... His joy of having her back was quickly overcome by fear. What if she didn't want him back? What if she knew that he was back and didn't care? What if she pretended not to know him? What if she'd moved on? Found someone else? Decided that she didn't love him anymore? He swallowed the lump rising in his throat and tried to focus, but his self-control was quickly waning. He knew that if got close enough to her that he'd lose every semblance of propriety and respect for her personal boundaries and kiss her, hold her, caress her, take her...

_Get a hold of yourself_, he thought, clenching a fist. _This isn't going to be like it used to be. It can't be like it used to be. Let her make the first move._

"Mr. Gunn?"

Shepard almost jumped at Mia's words. He raised an eyebrow, not trusting himself to speak without sounding huskily desirous.

"Ariadne is going to be a while longer. If you'd like to wait in the main gallery, or we have a sitting area in the Achilles Wing..." Mia gestured to an entrance opposite from the room Ariadne was in. "Could I get you something to drink? We have almost anything you could want."

"Scotch on the rocks," Shepard finally answered levelly, walking towards the Achilles Wing (why the hell would they name something that?). He heard Mia going somewhere else and, frankly, he was glad to get a chance to think alone. He could gather his thoughts, get used to the idea that she was alive.

Despite Mordin's assurances that she'd survived, Shepard hadn't let himself hope. He wasn't the type, especially because if he wanted something enough, he'd do whatever it took to get it. He'd ignored all the hints, suggestions, or inferences because, frankly, it was easier for him to function with her dead. His motivations were clear and simple: revenge. Now, though, everything was going to change. Corinthia was the one hunting Cerberus; there wasn't another option. That meant the Illusive Man had sent Shepard to kill the woman he loved, which meant that the Illusive Man was either an idiot or not worth Shepard's loyalty (the latter of which Shepard had already known from the start, so it was a moot point). But, despite all of that, Shepard wasn't sure that he'd give up Cerberus for Corinthia. As much as he wanted and loved her, Cerberus had the resources he needed; She was living another life that wasn't doing a damned thing about the Collectors or Reapers, but rather about the things that she found personally insulting. She wans't shallow, but starting a new life meant that certain sacrifices had to be made, and her job had probably been one of them. Maybe.

Shepard rubbed his eyes wearily. He hated it when he didn't know what was happening. The only person's story he was going to really believe was hers and she was very good at talking without saying anything.

Mia returned with the drink, smiling kindly. "Is there anything else I can get you? Do you have any questions?"

He shook his head and took a sip from the glass. Mia took her cue and left, glancing back with a sultry smirk. Shepard hadn't really seen her, nor had he really heard her. He was too preoccupied.

_Just let whatever happens happen. She's alive. That's good enough for now._

He turned his attention to something-anything-else, before the anticipation made him storm into the other room and sweep her off her feet without caring who saw. The room was littered with Greek statues, Renaissance and impressionist paintings, and several other sculptures that he had no idea where they'd come from. Everything had to do with Achilles, though. He recognized some of the works from the holonet (though where he'd seen them or why he had no idea). One of the newer works (a painting) caught his eye: a scene of a warrior struggling against twenty men in a vain attempt to reach a woman's outstretched hand as she was being gently led to a sacrificial pyre. She was sad, but smiling softly, like she had chosen her fate. He was torn between anger and grief, not wishing to accept her decision but knowing that she had to. Behind them was inscribed an epigraph:

_Sing, o goddess, for the rage of Achilles, _

_Which brought countless ills upon his enemies._

Shepard had no idea who Achilles was, but Shepard knew how the man from the colors of the work (dark browns, blacks, and red mingled with violently bright colors around the two lovers' faces; Achilles in red and the girl in white) to how the figures seemed to melt and run into one another with every violent brush stroke reflected everything the moment seemed to embody.

Quite suddenly, Shepard liked art. The question was if he could afford the painting...

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Gunn," Ariadne said from behind him, "but sometimes you can never know how-"

The words died on her lips when he turned. She blinked, her hand rising shakily to cover her gaping mouth. She shook her head and stepped back. "No... No... It can't be..." Corinthia whispered.

Just hearing her voice made his self-control snap. In a heartbeat, Shepard closed the distance between them and pulled her against him, kissing her with reckless abandon, holding her so tightly that it was like he was trying to absorb her body into his. He didn't care if anyone was looking. He didn't care that she wasn't reacting or reciprocating. All that mattered was that she was back in his arms, where she belonged, and that he felt alive again.

_This can't be real,_ she thought. She'd dreamed of this moment every night for the last two years. She thought it was real every time, but she always woke up and had her heart broken when she found herself alone. But her body was reacting far more powerfully than normal: Her heart was racing like a hummingbird's wings; The pain of Shepard crushing her against him was real; He smelled and tasted better than she ever remembered; She could feel his heart beat as her hands rested against his warm chest.

This time, though, she wasn't having an out of body experience. Shepard was standing before her, eyes closed, looking as passionate as ever. She was watching him kiss her. She'd never done that before. The shudders of desire running through her body were very much real. If this was a dream, she was going to enjoy it. She curled her arms around his neck and kissed him back as passionately as he was her. His fingers tangled in her hair, pulling her into deep, furtive kisses like it was the first and last time that he'd ever be able to taste her.

After what seemed like an eternity that ended all too soon, he pulled away. She slowly opened her eyes, tears sliding down her cheeks. "You can't be alive. This can't be real…"

He wiped away the drops with his thumb. "It is real."

She shook her head and nuzzled deeper into his embrace. "I kept envisioning this… that you'd come back and do something like this… and then I wake up and my heart breaks all over again."

He held her tightly and kissed her hair. "It's been happening to me, too." For a moment, he wondered if he was dreaming, if he was stuck in some kind of hellish purgatory that was even worse than when he'd awakened from the dead. What if she never believed that he was alive? Couldn't accept that he was? He couldn't think about it. He wasn't going to let the only Happiness he'd ever had drift away because she couldn't believe what was happening. He slid his hand under her chin and raised her lips to his again, kissing her gently. "I'm not going to let you go again, Cassiopeia. Not now, not ever."

She bit her lip, hitting a fist against his chest, unable to decide if she loved or hated him right then. "I don't want to lose you again…"

"You aren't going to."

She shyly met his eyes. For the first time, he noticed that her scars were gone. She tentatively reached up to touch the orange-glowing marks outlining the contours of his visage. He shuddered unconsciously as her fingers lightly stroked over his skin, cupping his cheeks, convincing herself that he was real. He ran his hands up her bare back, over her shoulders and neck, into her hair (why hadn't she had long hair before? It was so much better…). After a long moment, her face lit up. She didn't smile, but she didn't have to. She knew that this wasn't a dream, that he was back, that nothing had changed about how he felt.

Instead of flinging her arms around him again, her expression darkened. Her caress turned into a vicious slap. "You BASTARD! You left me here for TWO YEARS without a word or message or anything! I BURIED YOU! Do you know what that did to me? DO YOU?"

Shepard's hackles rose, as much as he wished to stay calm, but his self-control had eroded completely. "How the hell do you think I felt? I come back and find out that you were gone and then to walk in on you here? I was actually dead, Cassie, and it wasn't fun to get up and be thrust into a living Hell!" He grabbed her shoulders, gripping her tightly. He knew he was hurting her, but he couldn't do anything gently, not when his blood was boiling. "Do you have any idea what you mean to me? What it was like living without you? It was like when you died, you took my soul with you. Then I found out that you NEVER tried to find me, that you refused to even _look_ for me."

She laughed, insulted. "Burying you once was hard enough. I never, ever heard a single rumor about someone finding your body. It's…" She sucked in a ragged breath, her tears of happiness turning into sobs. "What happened, John? Why did you have to come back?"

His heart sank. "You don't want me back?"

"I… I don't know anymore…" She ran her fingers nervously through her hair. "You aren't the same. _That_ wasn't the same. It was…"

He nodded. "I know. I'm sorry." His lust was in control and he knew it, but he'd almost forgotten what it actually meant to be in love with her, to want her mind as much as her physical comforts. "I'll tell you everything you want to know, but…" He released her shoulders and cupped her face in his hands. She stiffened, but didn't shy away. "I love you. That's never changing. Yes, I'm angry. Insulted, too, but I don't care. I'd rather have you alive now, no matter what else happened, and never have you forgive me than to keep on living believing that you were dead." The moment he felt her relax a little in his arms, he moved closer. "This isn't going to be easy. We can't just ignore everything that's happened, but… please… Give me a chance. I know I've changed. I know you have, but I can't… I can't _live_ without you with me. You're the only good thing I ever had… the only thing that stopped me from becoming the worst kind of monster… Like Torfan was just some kind of game. You brought out the best in me. You always have. Please, Cassiopeia…" He was trying desperately to figure out how to end his words. This was probably the first time he'd been able to eloquently say anything emotional to her, but it was only because his mind hadn't started processing all the feelings flooding back to him.

She gazed into his eyes for a long moment before saying, "Okay."

"So you'll come?"

She smiled. "Of course I'll come."

He tightly embraced her and rained kisses on her cheeks. "Thank you…"

She fended him off. "You're welcome, but I still have some business to finish… Like informing everyone that I'm leaving." She turned to go to the doors, only to find Mia and the rest of the staff standing there, giggling. Corinthia blushed furiously. "Oh, no…"

Mia and the others started applauding and whistling.

Shepard put his arms around Corinthia's shoulders and led her out. The crowd parted ways at his glare.

"Were they there the whole time?" Corinthia whispered, mortified, as soon as they were out of earshot.

"My attention was more pleasurably engaged."

"Are you quoting Jane Austen?"

"Who?"

"Nevermind." She slipped her arm around his waist. "So… Where are we going?"

"The _Normandy_."

"But… It was destroyed…"

"I got another one."

"How?"

"You'll see."

She hoped rather than believed that he was saying that to give her a pleasant surprise. "Do you mind if we stop by my place? I'm not exactly dressed for your kind of party… Though I must say you look _really_ good in that suit."

"Wait 'til you see my armor."

"Is it shiny?"

"No, but it's black and intimidating."

"Knightly?"

"I could make it knightly, but only if you fight in this." He rubbed her bare back appreciatively, eyes sliding over her form.

"Hey, I haven't agreed to date you again. You don't get looking rights."

"We were dating?"

"I mean, what else would we have been?"

"Do you still love me?"

"Of course I do…"

"And I feel the same way about you, so what are you complaining about?"

"The fact that I never expected you to see me like this?"

"You know, I like sexy."

"And this isn't even one of my favorite dresses…"

"I never thought I hear you say anything like that."

"Time changes people."

"Just don't cut your hair."

"Huh?"

"I like it long."

"I can't decide how I feel about your glowing scars."

"Not my choice." He knew what was coming next. "You do actually believe that I was dead, don't you?"

"With what you told me before, if you weren't dead, you weren't conscious, either." She stopped in front of her door. "Wait here. I'll be out in a sec."

"Don't want me to come in?"

"I know what you'll do to me if you do."

He gritted his teeth. "Point…"

She kissed his cheek. "You're a big boy. You'll survive."

He watched her appreciatively as she went inside. "Don't count on it…"


	41. Unrevised: Adjusting

_**A/N: **Thanks again toLeroyZanzibar for betaing and a kudos to LiegeLord for suggesting the return of Xerxes!_

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>26 May 2185—<strong>_**SSV Normandy SR-2**_**, Zakera Ward Docks, the Citadel Serpent Nebula**

Corinthia stopped dead the moment she saw the Normandy. "Oh, no…"

Shepard had known that she wouldn't react well to the fact that she was with Cerberus. He'd just hoped that he'd get the opportunity to tell her but, between his joy at having her back, he'd never had the chance to tell her the reason why he was still breathing. "I'm sorry. I wasn't sure how to tell you."

She tried to shake his arm off her shoulders, but he tightened his grip. "You'd better start explaining."

"They found my body. They started the Lazarus Cell to bring me back. Took two years and four billion credits. I wasn't glad that they did until today."

"And you're working for them?"

"I like to think of it that I'm using their resources to do my job."

"And you thought that I'd be okay with this?"

"Of course not. I'll kill every last one of them if they give me a reason to."

"Do they know that?"

"I don't let them forget it."

"I can't do this…"

"Yes, you can. You think I wanted to do this? They cornered me into this."

"You could've left them."

"And gone back to the Alliance to hunt geth? Yeah, right." He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell her about his drive for revenge, but she was going to find out before the end, so, what the hell? "They told me how you… died. I wanted revenge. If they were going to give me a means to hunt the Collectors, I was going to take it."

She shuddered at the darkness in his voice, but turned and embraced him anyway. "I know I'm going to say this seventy thousand times, but I'm sorry. If I had known that you were being… fixed, I never would've… Well, I never would've hunted Cerberus or let myself get cornered on that Reaper."

Shepard blinked. "Reaper?"

"Yeah… Uh… I'll tell you inside."

Shepard almost smiled. "You're coming?"

"I can't leave you to deal with them on your own. I don't want your head exploding."

"I see you haven't changed."

"Don't count on that just yet."

"Please tell me that's in a good way…"

"If you're referring to sex, you've still got aways to go to earn that."

"Fuck…"

She frowned. Though he'd thought that she was being facetious, she hadn't been. She could see the darkness and rage still lurking in him. Though they were both trying desperately to act as they had before, during their time together on the Normandy, but it was still half of an act and they both knew it. Yes, he loved her—probably more than he ever had before—but, as happy as she was to have him back, she wasn't sure where she stood anymore. His fire in their reunion had frightened her more than anything else he'd ever done.

She stepped out of his grasp. "We'll talk inside."

Shepard swallowed hard. He didn't like her tone, like she was going to tell him that she was dying or that they were through (his greatest fears, aside from her dying in front of him or when he couldn't prevent it). Still, she was willingly stepping onto the Normandy. He had a feeling that once she saw Joker, Garrus, and Mordin that she'd choose to stay.

Miranda was waiting right inside the door. She crossed her arms and looked at Corinthia critically. "Are you insane, Shepard? You had orders."

Corinthia looked from Miranda to Shepard. "What's going on?"

"Let me handle this," Shepard growled. "She's a more valuable ally than enemy."

"Ariadne—"

"Ci-Ci."

Miranda blinked. "What?"

"And don't tell me the Illusive Man didn't know, because there's no way in hell that he didn't."

Miranda pursed her lips. "EDI, get the Illusive Man. I think Shepard wants to have some words with him."

"Right away, Ms. Lawson," the AI answered.

Shepard couldn't believe it. For the first time, Miranda was being… cooperative.

Corinthia grinned. "Cool VI."

"I am an AI," EDI answered, "though I am greatly restricted in my capabilities."

"What it means is that it can't pilot the ship by itself, but it will when it gets a chance," Joker said.

Corinthia grinned. "Joker?"

He turned in seat. "Ci-Ci? You know, I'm honestly not surprised."

"I have the Illusive Man, Commander," EDI said. "He'll speak to you in the conference room."

Shepard kissed Corinthia's cheek, murmuring that he'd be back. She looked after him, confused.

"Wow…" Joker murmured. "I forgot what it was like for him to be human."

"I'm not sure how long that's going to last, though."

"What? You aren't staying?"

"You have to stay," Miranda interrupted.

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Why's that?"

"Because we need Shepard, even if he doesn't need us," Miranda answered. "I underestimated the impact you had on him, even after seeing his drive for revenge. I know we've wronged you in the past, but this is now. We're fighting for the same cause."

"And what cause is that?"

"Humanity."

"Wrong," Corinthia snapped. "I fight for the preservation of the galaxy and all species within it, not just my own. Unless you believe in that, you aren't getting my loyalty, not anything like that. I'm here because Shepard is."

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU UP TO, OLD MAN?" Shepard's shout echoed throughout the Normandy. "You knew she was alive and you sent me to kill her!"

The Illusive Man lit a cigarette. "I never gave you any instructions, Shepard. I just informed you of the threat."

"Threat? THREAT?" Shepard laughed bitterly. "Listen, ass hole, you have one more chance. If you try and make me do anything that isn't related to stopping the Reapers, I'm going to find you and you are going to regret the day you decided to bring me back."

The Illusive Man smirked. "You don't have to worry about that, Shepard. I have a lead on the Collectors. By the time you investigate the dossiers I sent you, I should know for sure."

Shepard gritted his teeth. "Again? I have a good squad."

"You need all the allies you can get."

"I have the only ally I need, no thanks to you. If you had your way, I would've killed her."

If the Illusive Man had his way, Corinthia would have died on the Normandy instead of Shepard. "Are you finished? This is a pointless argument."

"This isn't over."

"But this conversation is." The Illusive Man ended the transmission. He didn't want to deal with Shepard's empty threats, especially when he had to deal with Corinthia. She would try and glean information on Cerberus from the Normandy. She was a good enough hacker to get anything from Cerberus that she wanted. He'd order Miranda and EDI to keep a close eye on her.

Shepard came out of the conference room, feeling less angry than he usually did after confronting the Illusive Man. He noticed the crew hastily scurrying back to their posts, only Corinthia still nearby. She smiled softly. "I'm sorry I doubted you."

"What are you talking about?" he answered.

"For thinking that you'd gone insane for working with Cerberus. That guy's even more of a jerk than I'd imagined."

"Like I said, he's just a means to an end."

"And you know that you're the same to him, right?"

"Which is why I'm going to ditch him first."

"When?"

"Once I get the Collectors for trying to kill you."

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously?"

"What?"

"You're still after revenge?"

"It doesn't just end by having you back. It just… shifted." He ran a hand over his head. "I don't know how to explain it…"

"You can figure it out later."

He took her hands in his. "Are you really okay with… this? Cerberus, I mean."

"No, I'm not, but I'm going to be following you, not him. You don't have enough patience for any kind of politics."

"And I haven't forgotten everything that Cerberus has done to you, either."

She shook her head. "I'm not sure anymore. They brought you back, didn't they?"

"Miranda did. She just had Cerberus funding."

"Oh… I guess I should go thank her, shouldn't I?"

"If you want, but I want to talk to you, first." He led her to the elevator.

"About what?" she asked curiously.

"I want you to tell me what happened over the last two years."

"Oh…"

"And what the hell you were doing on a Reaper."

Corinthia gulped and squeezed his hand tightly.

"That bad?" he murmured.

She nodded. "Yeah…"

He didn't say anything else until they were in his quarters, sitting on one of the sofas.

"What happened to you?" she whispered.

"Hm?"

"You don't feel the same."

"You mean… am I still human?" He groaned and leaned his head against the back of the couch. "Honestly, I don't know. I have all my memories, feel the same, but it's a new body... None of the old aches or pains. I'm stronger, better, faster..."

"And taller."

"Huh?"

"You grew an inch."

"You have no idea..."

"What?"

"Nevermind." He shook his head. "The point is that Miranda was thorough in her upgrades."

"Do you like them?" She reached out and touched the glowing scars.

"I don't know." He closed his eyes with pleasure as she kissed them. "I'm thinking I might start to..."

"Well, I think they suit you. Creepy, but they suit you. And I wouldn't care either way. I mean, you didn't with me..."

He stroked her cheeks, relishing the feel of smooth skin. "You got gorgeous."

She blushed deeply. "I'm glad you think so. I also got more confident..." She leaned in seductively.

He gulped. "Don't push it. I barely have any self-control as it is."

"Ooh, so I can torture you, too?"

"I'm serious, Cassie."

She stopped and returned to her place. "Oh... Sorry..."

He took a few steadying breaths, calming his heart. "Don't be... I... Just don't do it unless you're totally willing..." He stared at the ceiling rather than her, trying to think of anything but what she'd look like out of her clothes (as fantastic as she looked in the tight black pants, form-fitting shirt...). "It's only been a month, for me... Being without you, I mean. Worst weeks of my life."

"Imagine how I feel..."

"I know how you feel. Even though you were gone..."

"I still fell in love with you more every day," she finished for him, drawing up her knees and hugging them. "Worst feeling in the world."

"Tell me about it..." He ran a hand over his head. "But getting revenge was kinda fun."

"Revenge on what?"

He explained about the Collectors and, at her behest, the mission until that point. "...And then Kasumi set up that whole fiasco at the Gallery. I think she knew that you were alive..."

"She did." Corinthia glanced back at the door. "Is she here?"

"I sure as hell hope she isn't in here. She tends to go around cloaked all the time."

Corinthia stood up. "Where is she?"

"What are you planning?"

"I think I'm going to strangle her."

Shepard smirked, taking her hand. "I'll show you, then."

Kasumi was doing her favorite pastime: spying on Jacob. He was in the middle of his jucily gorgeous work-out routine when Corinthia's voice difted in.

"Ooh... An armory? Did you finally get a grenade launcher?"

"Yes," Shepard answered wearily, knowing what was coming.

"Can I-"

"No."

She pouted. "Please?"

"No," Shepard repeated. He poked his head into the room. "Jacob."

"Shepard," the soldier answered, continuing his crunches. "That Ci-Ci?"

Corinthia waved. "Yep. You're... cut."

"Thanks."

"Don't let her near the weapons," Shepard warned. "She tends to make things explode."

Corinthia opened her omni-tool and waved it in front of Shepard's face. "THIS can make things explode now."

Jacob stood up, stretching, and put on his shirt. "Your dossier said you were deceptively dangerous."

Corinthia winked. "Something like that."

Shepard grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the door. "No toys."

"But-"

"I said no."

"Okay, fine. Why did we come down here again?"

"Something about killing Kasumi."

"Good luck finding her," Jacob called after there. "I haven't seen her around for a while. She's probably cloaked in sneaking around again."

Corinthia opened her omni-tool. "Yep, she is. Just a sec..."

Kasumi flickered into view. Jacob raised his eyebrows. "How long have you been in here?"

"A while," the thief answered perkily. "You've got quite the routine."

Jacob shrugged. "It's not much. Wait... Are you watching me?"

Kasumi smiled, but turned her attention to Corinthia. "Ci-Ci. I'm glad you finally got the message."

"You know, I wouldn't have done the same to you."

"But you got a romantic meeting. That's a lot better than in the middle of a fight. Though, it would be fun to see you two go at it..." Kasumi shrugged. "But you're here."

"Were you watching that, too?" Shepard asked, his voice taking a dangerous edge.

"I did by accident. I wanted one of Ariadne's paintings. It happened to be in the room..." Kasumi smirked as Corinthia blushed furiously. "I must say, I think you two probably made romance novel writers gape in shock."

"Which painting did you take?" Corinthia asked, trying to NOT talk about the best kiss she'd ever had (mostly because was intent on making Shepard give her an encore).

"Rage and Serenity," Kasumi answered. "The one Shepard liked. It's in my quarters..."

Corinthia put her hands on her hips. "Did you pay for it?"

"Well, since you were coming, I just told Mia that you'd asked for it to be delivered..."

"You're way too sneaky for your own good."

"What can I say? I like my job."

Shepard blinked in shock. He'd never seen Corinthia interact with anyone like that. Ever. It wasn't even like her being her old self, but it was still... unnerving. And endearing.

"I want it," Corinthia said suddenly. "Hand it over."

"But it has a perfect place on my wall..."

"Kasumi..."

"Fine. But you'll understand. C'mon." Kasumi and Corinthia headed to the elevators, leaving Shepard and Jacob to watch them and their swaying hips.

"I don't know what just happened," Jabob said, "but I don't like it. They're up to something."

The girls' giggles echoed out of the elevator. Shepard winced. "What the hell have I just done?"

* * *

><p>Corinthia flopped onto Kasumi's sofa. "Okay, I'm staying in here."<p>

Kasumi raised an eyebrow. "I thought you'd stay with Shepard."

"We're not like that."

"With his body? You have to be joking."

Corinthia shook her head. "Nope. We agreed not to unless... Actually, I'm not even sure what the terms were, but it involved love, an engagement ring, and no Reapers. I think... Meh. We'll sort it out. Until then, I'm staying here." Corinthia eyed her painting. "No, it's going to Shepard's room."

"But-"

"It's my painting until you buy it, so I'm putting it where I want it." Corinthia snatched it away before Kasumi could. "And he'll shoot you if you go into his room. He's better than any safe."

"I want another one."

"I'll let you take anything else. Your choice."

Kasumi thought for a long moment. "It's a deal."

Corinthia toted the painting out the door and into the elevator, going up to Shepard's cabin. He was sitting at his desk, going through reports of some kind. He looked around. "What's that?"

She showed him. "You liked it, didn't you?"

"Well, yes..."

She leaned it against the fish tank. "So have it."

He stood up, putting his hands on her waist and pulling her to him. "I don't need art..."

She stiffened, not answering his kiss. He stopped and pulled away. "Are you alright?"

Her eyes were focused behind him on the model display, where a scale replica of Sovereign rested on glass pegs.

"Ci-Ci? Cassie? Cassiopeia?" he pressed, shaking her shoulders. "Cassie!"

Right when he was getting ready to slap her, she blinked and wilted in his arms. "I'm... What just happened?"

"You tell me," he breathed, clutching her to his chest.

She didn't answer.

"You know you can tell me anything, don't you?" he murmured gently..

She closed her eyes, like she was remembering a nightmare. "This isn't the first time that's happened. I was trying to find proof of the Reapers. Instead, I found an actual Reaper, and then everything just sort of… came together. I'd been looking into the Collectors and the Shadow Broker agents, too, and they were all there. The Collectors work for the Reapers and the Shadow Broker works for the Collectors… It just got so… muddled." She sighed. "Then everything went wrong. I'd already been on the Reaper for too long and the Shadow Broker thugs and Collectors cornered me. Even if I could've escaped, there was a Cerberus assassin waiting on the other side of the Mass Relay, so I sent it off and hid among the Shadow Broker agents." She rubbed her temples. "After that, everything just goes fuzzy. I'm not even sure how I managed to get off of the Reaper, because I woke up in Liara's apartment without my scars and the worst headache I've ever had."

Shepard put his arms around her shoulders, unsure of what to say. "It's over, now..."

She leaned her head against the crook of his neck, trying to form the words to tell him what Harbinger had told her… had done to her. They didn't come. She could only shake her head helplessly and try and stop herself from crying.

"Want me to go slaughter them for you?"

She giggled. "If it'll make you feel better."

"But will it make you feel better?"

"I'm... I'm not sure."

He thought for a moment. "Wait here."

She blinked, confused, as he extracted himself from her grasp and jogged into the elevator. She sniffed, wiped her nose on the back of her hand, and looked around. His room was certainly more comfortable than the one on the first Normandy. He even had an aquarium for fish (though there weren't any fish in it… A good thing, since he'd have to feed them and he sometimes forgot to feed himself).

Shepard came back two minutes later, hands behind his back. She was leaning over his desk, looking at the holo of her with her salarian friends. "Where did you get this?" she asked.

"Mordin. He's in the science wing."

Her eyes brightened. "Really? Wow… This is going to be fun."

"Just promise me you aren't going to start talking like him."

"No guarantees there. You know what happens…"

"Which is why I know I'm going to regret this." He took his hands out from behind his back.

Her eyes widened. "You can't be serious…"

He held it out to her. "Perfectly."

She accepted it with shaking hands, cradling it in her arms. "Xerxes…"

Shepard hoped that he wasn't going to regret giving her the M-920 Cain (the newer, upgraded version of the mini-nuke she'd found on Elysium). "Just promise me you won't blow us all up."

"Ooh, can we go find someone to kill? I REALLY want to see what changes they've made…" She grinned, set it on his desk, and kissed him giddily. "Thank you!"

Shepard was glad to see that she still had some of her old spark in her. He'd missed it more than he'd realized. He pulled her closer to him, deepening the kiss. "We'll go kick something's ass soon enough," he murmured. "But I haven't had my fill of you just yet…"


	42. Unrevised: Trauma

_**A/N: **Thanks to LeroyZanzibar for betaing (again)!_

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>6 months earlier: 5 December 2184-Liara's Apartment, Illium, <strong>Tasale System, Crescent Nebula<strong>**

Liara sat up in bed the moment she heard the doorbell ring. She checked the clock. It was still a few hours until dawn... Who would even show up?

Someone beat the door with their fist, but didn't speak. Liara grabbed her pistol from its place by her bedside and slipped towards the door. She checked the outside camera, immediately lowering her weapon.

Corinthia was leaning heavily against the wall, eyes closed. She was bleeding from various wounds and had been severely burned. Liara immediately opened the door and dragged Corinthia inside.

"Ci-Ci?" Liara asked, shaking Corinthia's shoulder. "Ci-Ci! Wake up!"

Corinthia slowly opened her eyes. She looked around and then at Liara. Despite being wounded (rather severely, from the looks of it), her gaze was piercing and steady.

Liara shivered. Something was off, and not just Corinthia being hurt (then again, that was almost normal). She leaned Corinthia against a wall. "I'm taking you to a hospital. You look concussed."

Corinthia closed her eyes, her expression unreadable, and slowly got to her feet. "I am not concussed," she said calmly, her voice low and emotionless.

Liara raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I think you are." She pursed her lips. Though the wounds were bleeding, there was still a lot of dried blood all over Corinthia's clothes. Her entire right side was singed and her skin was black, wrinkled, and cracked. "Here, let me give you some medi-gel-"

Corinthia took her gun out and pointed it at Liara. "No."

"Calm down, Ci-Ci! I'm just trying to help!"

"Cassiopeia Corinthia is dead," Corinthia answered calmly. "I am Ariadne Enig, now," she added, switching into the coldest, cruelest English accent Liara had ever heard.

"What are you talking about?" Liara asked.

"Commander Corinthia's ship was destroyed whist escaping a derelict Reaper by Shadow Broker Agents and the Collectors. Her body was vaporized. It will be best if the galaxy believes her dead, whilst I can work in peace."

Liara frowned. "Ci-Ci, I know you're in there..."

Corinthia-or, rather, Ariadne-put her finger on the trigger. "Do you think this is insanity?"

"Yes, I do. You've finally snapped, taking on everything Shepard did alone..."

"I'm closer to the truth than ever."

"You need help, Ci-Ci!"

"Ariadne."

Liara clenched a fist. "No, I'm not going to lost another friend."

Corinthia blinked, relaxing and looking around dazedly. "I... what..." Her eyes focused on Liara briefly, then to the gun in her hand. She dropped it immediately, horrified that she'd level a weapon at a friend. "I'm so... sorry... Oh... Oh, dear..." With that, she collapsed.

Liara ran to her. "Ci-Ci!"

Corinthia was unconscious, the pain of her injuries finally getting the better of senses. Liara sighed, applying a dose of medi-gel to at least ease the pain. Still, a chill ran up her spine. Corinthia was losing her mind. Liara had read about split personality disorder and how it manifested (extremely traumatic experiences that the mind couldn't handle), but Liara had never heard of the second side being all the darkness within someone's heart (she hadn't read _the Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_). Liara always thought that Corinthia had taken Shepard's loss lightly... or, at least, hadn't shared the actual depth of her grief, nor had she ever asked for help in her several vendettas (against Cerberus, the Collectors, and the Reapers) other than for leads on where to begin. Corinthia wasn't the independent sort-or, hadn't been until then-and the pressure and stress could easily have built up and culminated...

Insane or not, Corinthia needed help. Liara grunted as she struggled to support Corinthia, drag her to a transport, and take her to a hospital. The whole way, Corinthia muttered in her sleep, like she was fending off whispers in the dark. Liara sped up a little. Something was very, very wrong.

* * *

><p><strong>The Present: 5 June 2185-Liara's Offices, Illium<strong>

Liara tried not to giggle as she watched the security footage from the Hellas Gallery. Liara was very glad to see Shepard alive, and to see that Corinthia was happy to see him as well, but Liara doubted that anything would be so simple. The last six months or so hadn't brought any change to Corinthia. She still had her 'bouts of darkness', as Liara called them, with increasing regularity. Corinthia seemed to have no idea they happened at all, though her smiles had faded and become strained over the last months.

The grin on Corinthia's face in the video was real, though. Finally, something had jolted her back into her old self. Liara could only hope that it would last.

One of Liara's many screens projected onto her large window flashed. Liara's office overlooked one of Illium's larger ports, in turn offering a magnificent view of the city. Like the Citadel, it was tinted purple and orange, always glowing as if it were twilight. In barely two years, Liara had become well-respected and -grounded in the community of information dealing, but her task remain unchanged: find the Shadow Broker and kill him.

She spun in her chair, smoothly standing and examining the message. The _Normandy SR-2_ was requesting permission to dock. Liara quickly contacted the port authority to deal with the matter, pay the docking fees, and ensure that the _Normandy_ would be nearby.

Her personal computer beeped, playing a random song from Earth's late twenties century ("Thank you, Ci-Ci, for changing all of your personal tones," Liara muttered, wincing as _Enter Sandman_ started playing very, very loudly). She answered. "Hello, Ci-Ci."

"Soooooooooooo... Guess what?" Corinthia asked perkily. She was grinning from ear to ear and her hair was rather messy, like she'd just woken up or someone had been playing with it for a long while.

"I'm not quite sure. You usually choose some kind of significant song, don't you?"

Corinthia giggled, nodding. "Mmhm."

"I saw the security footage," Liara answered. "Has he stopped holding you yet?"

"Didn't want to, but I made him. Anyway, we're-"

"Making port, I know. I've dealt with it."

Corinthia frowned. "You're no fun."

"I was trying to make things easier on you."

"Well, thanks, anyway." Corinthia's smile faded a little. "Don't tell him, alright? I... I want to and I haven't been able to yet."

"Ci-Ci, you need to. He has to know before something happens."

"I know, I know, but I didn't want to ruin it, you know? He's _alive_, Liara!"

"I've known for some time, actually."

Corinthia's grin vanished completely. "What?" she asked darkly.

"I will explain when you and Shepard come to see me," Liara answered quickly. "I'll see you soon, Ariadne." Liara hung up, taking a steadying breath. Shepard angry was bad enough, but Corinthia's anger meant that she'd drift into bout of darkness and would kill Liara in a heartbeat.

Then there was Shepard... Liara had heard the rumors of his return and his various activities to date. Though most of the events ended for the better, Shepard had been described as a demon from Hell coming to destroy the galaxy. Liara doubted that Shepard would be so heartless as to shoot her for not contacting him upon his return, but Liara had only just received confirmation that he was... But Liara had known of Corinthia's survival as well.

"This is going to be messy," she muttered. She opened her comm. "Nyxeris, I'm expecting Commander Shepard and Ariadne to arrive shortly. Please show them in when they come."

"Of course, Liara," Nyxeris answered.

Liara went back to her work, bracing herself for anything but a pleasant encounter.

* * *

><p>Shepard put on his helmet and turned on some music to drown out the chatter. He wasn't particularly into symphonic death metal, but it was loud, dissonant, and made sure that he couldn't hear Corinthia and Mordin chatter away at light speed about... Shepard had no idea. They were speaking in salarian and, though his translator functioned just perfectly, it was still like listening to another language. He managed to catch a few words and phrases (genetics, mutation, offspring, variation, babies, krogan babies, adorable, reproduction, etc) and could only assume that Mordin was offering advice as to Shepard and Corinthia's sex life (or lack thereof).<p>

He glanced back at Corinthia. Despite his best efforts to persuade her to wear something more protective, she was still in a casual outfit. Not that he minded the tighter pants or fitted shirt, but he'd rather have her safe and under layers of protection than looking sexy and being more vulnerable (on a mission, that was; any other time she was welcome to look as alluring as possible).

The moment the doors of the _Normandy_ opened, Corinthia stopped talking. She stepped in front of him, murmuring, "Don't forget to call me Ariadne."

Shepard turned off the music when she touched his arm. "What?"

"I said don't forget to call me Ariadne."

Shepard nodded. He didn't like that she still had to hide her existence, but he understood her reasons. He had enough enemies as it was and didn't need hers swooping in as well. He, on the other hand, could be Shepard all day. The cover of Solomon Gunn had been created by Kasumi for her use (a mission he'd be dealing with shortly) and was going to stay that way. Shepard hated hiding, which was why he'd gone and gotten himself his Spectre status back in the first place... well, that and total immunity.

Ariadne smiled at the port official, an asari in a business-like dress. "I was told the docking fees were already dealt with.."

"They have," the asari answered. "Welcome to Illium, Commander Shepard and Ms. Enig."

Shepard turned the music back on, though at a more reasonable volume since Corinthia and Mordin weren't talking his ear off. But, instead of metal, he was met with some nauseating song from the 1980s. He tugged off his helmet and glared at Ariadne, who was smirking. She shrugged. "Just an idea of my thoughts at the moment."

"_Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down..." _wafted metallically out of the inner speakers.

Shepard narrowed his eyes. "Play that song again, and I swear..."

"You'll what? Ravage me in revenge?"

"Don't give me ideas, Ariadne."

She winked and waved her omni-tool. The music shifted back to its former sort. "I'm just in a good mood, that's all."

"Obviously, but this isn't the time for pranks."

She bit her lip. "Then I suggest you don't turn on your alarm clock."

"Why?"

"I set it to play a rather familiar song..."

He groaned. "You didn't..."

"I couldn't program EDI to do the Hammer Dance, but I might be able to make Joker's chair move in time with it."

"Two years and you haven't sobered at all."

Her expression darkened. "More than you realize."

He looked at her curiously, but it wasn't the time to talk about were going to check in with Liara-which was going to be interesting, to say the least-and glean what information they could about the next two potential allies, an assassin named Thane Krios and a Justicar named Samara.

Ariadne stopped, surveying the horizon. She sighed. "If only everything were like that..."

Shepard joined her, leaning on a railing. "Let me guess: dark, seedy underbelly?"

"Quite, far worse than Omega."

"Well, you have Xerxes to take care of it."

She glanced to where the M-920 Cain hung on his back. "Yes, you do, but that isn't really what I was talking about."

He moved closer to her, interlacing his fingers with hers. "I know. I want this to be over, too."

"And here everyone thought you were a warmonger."

"Part of the job, unfortunately," he muttered. "Never really had a reason to want it to end before and you know it."

"Still, it's hard to imagine life without conflict. I mean, it's been everything to us... Sort of shaped us and threw us together." She laughed. "It's so silly to think what might've happened if I hadn't..." She trailed off.

"Hadn't what?" he pressed.

"When I walked into that Alliance recruiting station, I thought they'd turn me away because I was so young. I had options, you know, lots of them. I just thought that the Navy was... that it was going to be fun, like something out of an adventure story."

Shepard blinked. She'd been _that_ naive?

She leaned against him. "But, honestly, I know it's going to sound absolutely silly, but you kept me there. I may not have been your friend by the end of Elysium, but you were mine and it meant everything to me... Still does, even though I've got more friends."

His stomach twinged with guilt. "I didn't even start to care until after Akuze..."

"You still remembered me on Elysium."

"You don't usually forget a meeting with a genius."

"I'm not a genius... I'm just smart. Besides, I can't think like that anymore. All that math in my head? Pfft. Gone. I don't remember much of what I learned in school, either. That was ten years ago." She blanched. "Has it really been that long? Well, okay, nine and a half years, but it's still a long time."

"Don't put it like that. Makes me feel like an old man."

"I'm twenty-five, Shepard. You're, what? Thirty?"

"Twenty-eight-Well, I guess it's thirty, isn't it?"

"You aren't old. You're just getting into your prime."

"Yeah... and right on time, too, it would seem, when the galaxy's falling down around our ears."

"Not if you can help it."

"Rick Roll me again and I'll stop."

"No, you won't. And how do you even know what Rick Rolling is?"

"You've done it to me before. Nine times, at least. You'd think that joke would die after a hundred years."

"Stupid teenagers don't let it."

"And you, apparently."

"You know I've got that streak in me."

He kissed her languidly, stroking her chin and smiling as she sighed and practically melted. "And an artistic, sexy one, too."

She winked. "Didn't have to have it when I was a soldier."

"Lose it and I'll order it back."

"Yes, sir. Artsy and sexy it stays." She saluted and stepped away. "I think we've probably bored Mordin to death."

The salarian was far from it. He was examining one of the booths with his omni-tool open and arguing with the sales asari about the inconsistancies in their policies (used to cheat the customers).

Ariadne put her hands on Mordin's shoulders and guided him away. "Sorry about him. We're taking him to get his implants checked."

Mordin blinked. "No neural implants. No need. Glitchy. Could fix with simply bypass. No, would cause short circuiting."

Shepard rubbed his eyes. Why did he always get stuck with the crazies?

"Liara's office is just up ahead," Ariadne said. "She knows we're coming."

Shepard held up his hands. "Hold on. What?"

"She paid for the docking fees."

"When did that happen?"

"When we docked."

He gritted his teeth. "You're impossible."

"Better than being easy."

"Doesn't mean I don't wish," he breathed.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Let's see Liara."


	43. Unrevised: Seeds of Loyalty

_**_**A/N: **_**_Thanks to** LeroyZanzibar** for betaing (as usual, at this point)! If you enjoy reading OCs, you'll enjoy his story: **Mass Effect: Friend of a Hero. **It's funny, quirky, and is a great novelization of Mass Effect. It's worth reading, really! :D__

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>5 June 2185—Liara's Offices, Illium, <strong>Tasale System, Crescent Nebula<strong>**

"Shepard," Liara greeted, turning from her window screens to face him.

"Liara," he answered coldly. His eyes narrowed. "You don't sound surprised."

"I'm not. I heard rumors of your survival, and I recognized your style on Omega and Horizon."

He clenched a fist. "So you knew I was alive."

"Yes."

"AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME THAT SHE WAS?"

Liara was undaunted. "I had no reason to. There was no definite evidence of your survival until you walked into Ariadne's gallery." She smiled. "I must say, that was rather impressive. I do not think I have ever been jealous until I saw that."

Ariadne paled. "You were watching, too? Is that going to be put on the holo-net?"

Shepard smirked. "It'd teach all those amateurs a thing or two."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, and I'd die of embarrassment. I'm a bachelorette by reputation."

"Not if I have something to say about it."

"You didn't _say_ anything."

"I used my mouth. And tongue."

"That's what she said."

"He did, too."

"Hah! I can't believe you let me say that!"

"I missed it," he grumbled. "Besides, everything you add that line to I expect you to do to me at some point."

Ariadne turned crimson. "Oh my..."

"And this is how you shut her up."

"Hey!"

"What?" he asked innocently.

Liara tried not to laugh. It was remarkably good to see them again. As terrifying as Shepard could be, his interactions with Corinthia could be downright adorable. Still, Liara was worried. What if Corinthia snapped into a bout?

"Be careful not to push her too far, Commander. She is not completely herself."

"If you're talking about the accent," he answered levelly, "I think it's sexy."

Liara frowned. "You haven't told him? Ariadne!"

"I did," Ariadne answered.

"All of it?"

Ariadne studied her feet. "You know very well that I can't."

"What the fuck?" Shepard asked. "I know that she spaces out, and it's... it's scary—" He couldn't believe that he was saying that to anyone, "—but it's not a problem."

"You need to tell him," Liara pressed, "before it gets worse."

Shepard narrowed his eyes. "What?"

Ariadne interrupted LIara before the asari could say. "You'll see, when we get into a fight."

"You mean that you and I fight each other or that you and I are fighting some mercenary pussies or something like that?"

"Unfortunately, both. I'll explain when we're alone."

He nodded. "So, Liara, what have you been up to other than not telling me that she was alive?"

"I have been trying to find the Shadow Broker," Liara replied. "I am close, now, and I could use your or Ariadne's help. In return, I will help you."

"I'll do it," Ariadne offered, opening her omni-tool. "What do you need?"

"The usual."

Ariadne rolled her eyes. "Where do I have to go this time?"

"It's here on Illium. I'll give you the locations."

"Is it going to take long?" Shepard asked testily. "I have things to do."

"Yes," Liara answered, opening her computer console. "You need information on where to locate Thane Krios and an asari Justicar called Samara."

"How do you know that?"

"I know many things now, Commander, and Ariadne has given me access to much of your data now."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Can you get rid of the Illusive Man for me?"

"My skills and connections are to find the Shadow Broker, not him. My only work with Cerberus has been to help Ariadne track them, but only to identify their cells, not find him. He is too well protected. Ariadne might, however, considering her clientele."

"Liara!" Ariadne hissed.

Shepard slowly turned his gaze to Ariadne. "Please tell me that it isn't how it sounds."

"It's not," she answered quickly. "I'm known for being untouchable."

Shepard snorted. "Don't you mean oblivious?"

"No, and you're to blame for that." She bit her lip, winked, and began working on her omni-tool. "And, just so you feel better, I'll see what I can find on your... boss."

Shepard nodded. "Good. Now, Liara, tell me what I want to know."

* * *

><p><strong>7 June 2185—Dantius Towers, Illium, <strong>Tasale System, Crescent Nebula<strong>**

Shepard couldn't believe it. Corinthia was... He didn't know how to describe it. It was like they were back on Elysium, when she was fighting without caring of the danger and simply did as she had to. Shepard had compared her to a Valkyrie then, but now she made that look like she was something far worse. Even Shepard was scared, though perhaps less of her and more for her. This wasn't normal. Yes, she was better in a fight, actually killing her targets instead of disabling them from a distance

"Ci-Ci!" he shouted, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Ci-Ci! Snap out of it!"

She threw him off, narrowing her eyes at him dangerously. She had yet to say anything since they'd entered the towers, but she hadn't had to. She'd followed orders (something Shepard wasn't sure he'd ever seen her do).

Mordin stroked his chin. "Interesting. Not herself. Perhaps... yes, possible."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shepard demanded.

"Will explain on ship. Not here. Too dangerous. Have job to do. Yes. Must work." Mordin checked his mini-machine gun and moving ahead. Corinthia followed him.

Shepard gritted his teeth. No one seemed to answer his questions when he wanted answers. "Let's just find this assassin quickly."

They reached a bridge, the last real obstacle between them and Nassana Dantius. Corinthia came behind him, grabbing Xerxes and firing it to the far end. She ducked into cover, Shepard automatically puting his body protectively over hers.

"Damn it, Ci-Ci, what the fuck were you thinking?" he demanded.

She looked around, confused. "Did I just kill a lot of things?"

"Are you fucking serious?"

She paled. "Oh, God, I did it again, didn't I? I'm so sorry, Shepard."

He checked the damage. "At least the bridge is still intact."

"Bridge? What bridge? Where are we? What's going on? I'm confused..."

Shepard frowned, worry settling into his gut. "You knew exactly what you were doing a minute ago."

"I did?" she whispered. "Why does this always happen to me?"

"We'll talk about it later. You need to focus right now."

She nodded, opening her omni-tool. "Alright. It looks like you—I—we killed everything."

"Good." Shepard stood and helped her to her feet. "Mordin, let's go. We don't want to keep Nassana waiting."

"Nassana Dantius? Didn't we kill her sister?" Corinthia asked.

"Yes, and now this assassin's trying to kill her."

"Huh. No loss, there. She stole two of my best pieces and I still can't get her to pay."

"You need stronger tactics."

"Ariadne isn't exactly violent."

"Not according to what I just saw."

"Can you tell me what that was?"

"I don't know myself," he answered quietly. "I can just tell you what I saw."

"That doesn't sound good."

"Let's just say that I've never seen anyone take more headshots in my life."

"That's... not good."

"It was fucking amazing, that's what it was." He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. "But it wasn't you. C'mon. Let's get this over with."

They entered Nassana's office. The asari spun, her mercenary guards pointing guns at everyone. Shepard snorted. "Why the hell do people think that they can fight me?"

Ariadne pointed her pistol at Nassana's head. "You owe me quite a bit for those Prothean statues. I'm here to collect, and I brought friends."

"Ariadne Enig," the asari answered, turning. "And... Shepard? I thought you were dead."

"I got better," he answered darkly.

Nassana looked back to Ariadne. "Corinthia!"

"Doesn't change the fact that you still owe me money," Corinthia answered. "I'll take that now, thanks." She opened her omni-tool and fiddled briefly. "Well, you may be paying millions for this system, but it's worthless."

"Whatever they're paying you, I'll give you double," Nassana said quickly, looking at Shepard.

Corinthia snickered. "You can't afford double. You can't even afford to pay me for those statues, so I'll just take what you've got..."

A dark figure silently fell out of the duct system. He deftly dispatched the two guards and snapped Nassana's neck before anyone knew what was happening. Corinthia squeaked and darted behind Shepard.

"It's fine, Ci-Ci," he muttered. "Someone moving that silently would have us dead already if he wanted it."

The assassin folded his hands and lowered his head.

"What are you doing?" Shepard asked.

"Praying," the assassin answered, his voice low, gravelly, and almost processed.

"For her?"

"No, for me."

Corinthia came out from behind Shepard. "You? You're Thane?"

"You know him?" Shepard demanded.

"We crossed paths a few times," Corinthia answered. "He tried to kill me. Sort of. Not really. I thought he was, but then he didn't..."

Thane chuckled. He was a drell, a species that was rarely seen away from their home planet. He had green, black-streaked, snake-like skin and features that came directly off a Greek statue. His eyes were large and nearly black, though up close there was a hit of orange in them as well. He wore all black, his chest slightly exposed under his jacket and boots.

"Cassiopeia is being unclear. I was sent to kill her and found that it was my employers who deserved death instead of her."

"Was this before or after she died?" Shepard demanded.

"This was shortly after your death, Commander," Thane answered calmly. "We met a few other times afterwards, but to aid one another, not kill." He clasped his hands behind his back. "Your Illusive Man contacted me." He glanced back at Nassana. "This was to be my last mission."

"Please come, Thane. It'd be good to have friends, you know?" Corinthia asked. "Besides, you never did finish showing me all those moves of yours."

Thane shifted his gaze to Shepard. "If I have his consent, of course."

Shepard narrowed his eyes. "Ci-Ci..."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh my God... You think I'd, you know...? Thane's plenty sexy and all, but he's not you."

"There was nothing every between us, Commander," Thane continued, "nor will there be."

"I'll prove it later," Corinthia murmured in Shepard's ear. "You have to trust me, alright?"

He touched her cheek and nodded. "OF course. Need anything else here?"

"Nope."

"Then we're leaving."

* * *

><p><strong><em>SSV Normandy SR-2<em>, Shepard's Quarters**

Shepard climbed out of the shower, nearly jumping out of his skin when he saw Corinthia sitting on his bed. "God, Cassie, can't you knock?"

She blushed deeply and quickly turned around. "I didn't know you'd walk out without a towel!"

"It's my room!"

"I said there was a later, didn't I?"

Shepard found some clothes and put them on. "It's safe, Ci-Ci."

"I'm really sorry, John, but after today, I... Well... I thought I needed to explain. Everything."

He joined her on the bed. "Alright. Need me to make any kinds of promises first?"

"No, I... I don't want you to." She took a deep breath. "I know I wasn't on Noveria with you, but I heard what Benezia said... about Sovereign and how it got into your head... Well... It happened to me."

Shepard shook his head. "Impossible."

"I was one a Reaper for... I don't know how long, but afterwards there was all this... muttering.. and a few weeks ago I found some Collectors. You've fought them, so you know what happens when they start to glow? Well, that voice was talking to me... hacked my omni-tool... tried to convince me that I should fight for them like Saren did. I... I couldn't take it. I blacked out and then everything was dead. I... I think I'm going insane, except that I know the source of my schizophrenia. John, I'm so sorry. I should've told you sooner."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "Mordin said that you were showing symptoms of a split personality," he said quietly. "He guessed that it was because you couldn't handle the separation from me."

She shook her head. "I was devastated, but it didn't break me. It made me stronger, though maybe not in the best kind of way... I matured, a lot, but I didn't snap. I never snapped. It's just that when someone tells me to do something I don't want to, or when I think I can't think... It goes black." She shivered. "Maybe there is another side, because whenever I think that Harbinger's going to start whispering, another voice overpowers it and tell it to shut the fuck up and let me think in peace. It works, though sometimes I lose track of time and get a wickedly bad headache, but..."

Shepard covered her mouth his his, doing his best to let her know that he didn't care without pushing her limits. Her arms curled around his neck and she shuddered as she held back a sob.

He pulled away, wiping away her tears. "You were always crazy, Cassie. I never cared. It's why I love you." He tucked her hair behind her ears. "Anything else you want to tell me?"

"That you're amazing and I love you with all my being." She got onto her knees and took a deep breath. "If... you know..."

He shook his head. "I want to, and you have no idea how hard it is..."

She giggled.

"Okay, bad choice of words, there, but I... I swore that I wouldn't... try until I was ready to marry you. I... God, this is fucking hard to say... I love you, really, but I can't see... that... until this is through. You told me how you saw love making, and I don't want kids unless there's somewhere safe for them to be."

She blinked. "You mean you want kids?"

"After I'm taken off active duty."

"You'd be able to handle that without going insane?"

"I give you permission to shoot me if I ever start giggling inanely."

"Mm, I dunno. I might be able to make that happen. There was something I wanted to try."

He groaned as she crawled towards him. "Cassie, what did I just tell you?"

"No, what I want to know is if you're ticklish or not."

Outside of Shepard's quarters, Kasumi nearly jumped out of her cloaking device as Shepard started laughing uproariously. She shook her head and snuck back downstairs. Whatever was happening in there was none of her business, even though it would be fun to see exactly what Corinthia was doing.

Miranda was, for once, standing in the CIC. She raised an eyebrow at Kasumi. "I didn't expect to see you here, Kasumi."

"Shepard's busy," Kasumi answered. "If you need him, he won't be answering."

"Corinthia?"

"Yep. I gotta say, I didn't think he could laugh,and that was knowing that she's insane."

"Yes, I heard about that..." Miranda shook her head. "Of course the one person he chose to bring along would be the one that could truly jeopardize the mission."

"I don't think so. She's got another side to her, sure, but Mordin said that it's only a danger to her enemies. Besides, Shepard seems to snap her out of it."

"We'll see. I read Dr. Solus's report and if her skills increase so much, Shepard may not want to revive her next time."

"You haven't seen them cuddle."

"Kasumi, have you been eavesdropping? Again?"

"Of course not, why would I do that?" Kasumi watched as Jacob went by. "I was up there to ask Ci-Ci for a favor, but it'll have to wait."

"Yes, I guess so. I don't think I'd could survive the consequences of interrupting him. Then again, he _has _gotten a lot better since Ci-Ci arrived. If I could get her on our side, she might actually convince him to help the Illusive Man."

Kasumi shrugged. "I don't care, so long as you all keep paying me and fulfill your end of the bargain."

"Yes, don't worry about that. Isn't that party soon?"

"Next week."

Miranda pursed her lips. "And there is still more business to conduct on Illium... much more..."

Shockingly, Corinthia walked out of the elevator, a little flushed, but grinning like a baboon. "Heya, Randy. Sumi."

"Randy?" Miranda repeated.

"'Miri' doesn't fit you."

"And 'Randy' does?"

"Aside from the body and lack of danglies, you aren't exactly effeminate."

"I should have you know—"

Kasumi giggled. "She's right, you know. The 'tough guy' thing really only works for men."

"LIke Shepard," Corinthia added.

"Or Jacob."

"Grunt."

"Zaeed."

"Garrus."

Corinthia and Kasumi exchanged looks. "Or Thane," they said in unison.

"Hey, what about me?" Joker called.

"Nah," Corinthia and Kasumi answered, locking arms.

"You're whipped," Corinthia continued.

"Totally," Kasumi finished.

"What are you talking about?" Joker asked, looking around nervously.

"EDI," they answered.

"You've got to be kidding me... You'd think on a ship full of hot girls that one of them might have pity on the cripple..."

"Cripple my ass," Corinthia replied. "You got yourself upgraded big time by Cerberus and now you can walk without the crutches. I've seen you, Jeff."

"Eesh, you don't have to sound like my mother."

"Well, you need the watching. Right, EDI?"

"I have found several illegal items on Mr. Moreau's personal computer," EDI answered.

"Don't give a list," Joker said quickly. "Gimme a break! I'm just the only pilot qualified to fly this damned thing..."

Corinthia snickered. "Calling your baby a damned thing now, are we?"

"A father's allowed to curse his offsrping."

"And a mother's allowed to flick his ear for it," Corinthia answered. "EDI, spike his computer or something. Please."

Miranda actually smiled. "Ci-Ci, might I speak to you for a moment?"

"Sure," Corinthia answered, shrugging. "No eavesdropping, Sumi. I think Jacob's about to start his work-out routine, anyway."

Kasumi licked her lips. "Mm. Jacob..." She and Corinthia exchanged another look before bursting into laughter.

After Corinthia and Miranda had stepped into the elevator, the latter crossed her arms. "Is there something I missed?"

"Kasumi thinks that Jacob is gorgeous," Corinthia answered.

"That he is."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Old flame?"

Miranda shook her head. "We're better friends than lovers. We found that out the hard way."

"Yeah, I know that feeling..."

"Shepard seems happy."

"I'm not talking about Shepard. He's my best friend and happens to be the guy I'm in love with, but he wasn't my only friend. I had other crushes. Still kinda do, somtimes, but it usually doesn't last for more than a few seconds." Corinthia waved to Garrus as they passed him in the mess. She jerked a thumb at the turian. "Like him. He's a great guy, but it's totally platonic. Same with me and Wrex and Alenko and Joker and Thane and everyone."

"Next you'll be saying that you and I are best friends," Miranda muttered.

"I'm pretty sure that this is our first conversation, Miranda, so I'm not going to jump to conclusions."

"You're a little too..."

"Perky?"

"Yes."

Corinthia shrugged. "You're not the first to think that." She sat in one of the chairs in Miranda's office. "So, what's up?"

Miranda sat behind her desk. "I wanted to thank you."

"For?"

"Making Shepard tolerable."

Corinthia laughed. "I'd heard the crew grumbling, but I didn't know he was _that_ pouty."

"That's one word for it," Miranda mused. "My other commends are... well, perhaps a little unpleasant."

"Won't leave the room, promise."

"That... remains to be seen." Miranda remotely closed the door. "Shepard doesn't like me very much."

"Do you want me to comment on that?"

"I already know the answer. He believes that I'm dedicated to a cause that's selfish and idiotic simply because he himself doesn't believe in it."

"I wouldn't phrase it quite like that, but that's the gist of it." Corinthia leaned back. "So you want me to talk to him for you."

"Please. I'm... I'm trying to behave as he expects—well, that isn't correct. I am trying to conduct myself according to his expectations of a crew member, not a member of Cerberus, but it's difficult to know what he wants."

Corinthia smiled. "It's simple, really: shut up, follow orders, argue for what you believe in, do what's right... He's a good guy with a bad-ass exterior. He defies all expectations."

"As I've had constant proof," Miranda murmured. "He has no desire to get to know anyone aboard this ship."

"Yeah, because he's trying to fill his missed quota of me. Look, I'll take him out and socialize him, don't worry."

"I meant that he doens't... understand what it's like... for me."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "You mean being a gorgeous in an organization of cutthroats?"

"Not exactly. I am a product of genetic engineering."

"Ah... That would explain a lot..."

"My father... he made me. Created me. Everything from my biotics to my intelligence to my body—"

"Doesn't mean that you're not a person, dabbled with or not. Wait, that didn't come out right... What I mean is that it doesn't matter where you come from, it's how you use what you've got. So far, you've brought Shepard back to me. That automatically makes you epically awesome in my reckoning." Corinthia smiled encouragingly. "You aren't a tool, Miranda. You're too smart for that. If you agree with Cerberus, you agree with Cerberus, but Shepard thinks that you do for some twisted reason like they saved you from a life of crime and prostitution... Those weren't his words, mind you, but it's what I got from him."

"That would be... almost accurate. When I ran away from my father, I went to Cerberus. They accepted me, let me use my skills."

"And be yourself?"

"Maybe... I'm not sure anymore."

Corinthia studied the floor. "Yeah, I know that feeling..."

"I've read your background. There's nothing to suggest that at all."

Corinthia shook her head. "Look, it's... Don't tell Shepard, alright? I hate the Alliance. I hate being a Spectre, having to go kill things, and all of that stuff. I joined the Alliance because it was the only way I could think of to get away from my father and what he wanted me to be... I mean, he put me in a salarian school so that I'd be 'the best of the best' or something stupid like that. Look how I turned out: an eternal child stuck in a soldier's body, now possibly going insane whilst juggling two lives and avoiding being murdered whenever I go out. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating about that last bit, but my point is that I've been a part of things because my skills fit, but not because I wanted to be. If I did it again, I never would've joined the Alliance. I know that if I hadn't, I never would've met Shepard, but maybe I would've been happier... blissfully ignorant, but happier."

"But you choose to fight now," Miranda said. "You could have remained behind as Ariadne."

"Yeah, no. With Shepard not fighting is a non-option. Besides, I missed him. I'd rather fight and be with him than be safe and without him. Wait, that doesn't make sense, because to me 'safe' is being near him. Like when we went after Saren and I wanted to stay on the Citadel but he dragged me along and it ended up being a good thing because the Citadel was attacked a few days later."

Miranda raised an eyebrow. "Between all of those words, do you breathe?"

"It's a skill. Breathing in through the nose whilst talking simultaneously."

"I see."

"Hey, it's a skill you didn't develop."

"Because I wasn't made to have one."

Corinthia rolled her eyes. "Look, Miranda, you're getting stuck on being made or not. It. Does. Not. Matter. One. Bit. You've still got free will. You chose to run away and do something. You've made yourself as you are. Seriously, origins don't matter. Shepard's a former drug-running gang member and I'm a former child-prodigy that ended up not being a prodigal genius at all. So, arguments about your past aside, I will gladly be the middle-man for you and Shepard until I get him to come and talk to you on his own, okay?"

Miranda raised an eyebrow. Corinthia had a point, though perhaps redundantly made, and it was worth considering. "Thank you. I... Please ask Shepard to speak to me, then. I need his help with a personal matter. It's... my sister. My twin, to be more precise."

Corinthia nodded encouragingly. "She's in some kind of trouble?"

"Yes. I had... taken her away from my father as well and put her into a new family, but he found out and now I'm trying to move them to safety. I just want to make sure that everything goes smoothly."

"Oh... Where's this happening?"

"Here on Illium."

"When?"

"As soon as possible."

"He's doing paperwork. I'll go get him."

Miranda blinked. "Are you serious?"

"Of course I'm serious. This is obviously important to you and you wouldn't be asking for help if you could do it on your own. Even if Shep refuses, I'm in, alright?"

"I don't know what to say..."

Corinthia shrugged. "'Thanks, buddy' usually works."

"Buddy?"

"I thought that 'friend' sounded a little silly."

"Not as silly as 'Ci-Ci'."

"But that name fits me, doesn't it?"

"Point."

"I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

Miranda cocked his head to one side in confusion before laughing, finally understanding what Shepard saw in Corinthia to begin with.


	44. Unrevised: Sisters and Justicars

_**A/N: **Kudos to beta-man, LeroyZanzibar :D_

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>8 June 2185—<em>SSV Normandy<em> _SR-2_, Docks, Illium**, **Tasale System, Crescent Nebula******

Miranda was nervous. Not only was is the first time since Omega that she'd bee on a mission with Shepard, but it was also with Corinthia (who, according to everyone, acted strangely when fighting) and it was to recover Oriana. According to Corinthia, Shepard had just nodded and agreed to do it without argument, question, or anything.

_We should've looked for her harder_, Miranda thought, watching Corinthia suit up, which was in and of itself amusing.

"Can't you just _try_ the armor?" Shepard said, thrusting a breastplate her nose.

Corinthia waved him off. "I like the pants."

"Your shields fried three times last time."

"I don't remember that."

"You weren't ...conscious. You've got all new flawless skin and I want it to be like that when I get it."

Corinthia rolled her eyes. "Let's just call it 'fight mode', okay?"

"Fine. Fight mode. Now, armor."

She crossed her arms and shook her head like a little child. "Nuh-uh."

"Please?"

"No."

"I won't kiss you today if you don't."

The armor was out of his hands and on her body in the blink of an eye. She inspected herself. "This is a lot heavier than I'm used to. I'm still a sniper, you know."

"You also forget than when you-Do we have to call it 'fight mode'? It sounds stupid."

"Do you have a better idea? I mean, she doesn't have a name, yet, does she?"

"She hasn't spoken yet that I've seen."

"Heard."

Shepard shook his head. "Whatever."

"Then call her Imreas."

"Huh?"

"The other half of my last name."

"I guess that works..."

"Your other option is Artemis."

"Valkyrie."

"Val."

"No."

"Please?"

"No," Shepard repeated.

"You're no fun."

"Neither are you when you're like that."

"God, will you two stop?" Miranda snapped. "You're giving me a headache."

Corinthia put her sniper rifle on her back. "Want some medi-gel for that?"

"I'd rather find Oriana, thank you," Miranda replied.

Corinthia put her hand on Miranda's shoulder. "We'll sort it you, you know that, right?"

Miranda nodded. She had already calculated the outcome of the events, even with Shepard's new demeanor and Corinthia's unpredictability. If things went according to plan, there would be no fighting, anyway, So far, though, she'd been surprised more than she liked.

Shepard checked his assault rifle. "Alright, girls, let's get moving. We make the first rendezvous in an hour."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Did he just put us in the same category?"

"I'm not sure," Miranda answered. "But he did make you wear the armor—"

"Instead of a catsuit, yeah, I know," Corinthia finished. "Honestly, I'm not quite curvy enough to fill it out like you do."

"That's a good thing. It means that men don't stare."

"Meh, they still stare, but it's usually because of something I did rather than something I'm wearing."

"What? Did you tell some kind of bad joke?"

"No, just embarrassing things. Like make out with Shepard in front of Captain Anderson and an entire rescue crew or speak Salariain or act completely intelligently."

"Or show up in that red dress," Shepard added with a sly smirk, "and long hair, showing your legs..."

"Shepard?"

"Yes?"

"No."

Miranda smiled. Their banter may have given her a headache, but at least Shepard wasn't snapping or threatening lives. Maybe the mission wouldn't go so badly after all.

* * *

><p><strong>183 minutes later — Dock 94, Cargo Warehouses, Illium<strong>

"Move faster!" Miranda opened her omni-tool and thrust it into the elevator controls.

Corinthia pulled Miranda away. "Easy, there. What did you expect?"

"Not this... I planned this. I calculated all of the outcomes..."

Corinthia chuckled. "I've tried that before, Miranda. It doesn't work. It never does."

"What the hell is going on?" Shepard demanded. "You said that this was going to be peaceful, but, as usual, the second we walk into a room people start shooting at us."

They had entered the warehouse where the exchange was to take place to find Eclipse mercenaries already there attempting to find Oriana and also kill Shepard.

Miranda sighed. She'd already explained more than she'd wanted to — like that Oriana was only her genetic twin, not born at the same time — but she had to trust Shepard. He was helping her, despite being somewhat reluctant to do it. Besides, Corinthia was doing everything she could (including hacking Illium's security) to make sure that Oriana made it through.

Shepard crossed his arms, opening his mouth to say something cold, but Corinthia stomped on his foot to silence him. He glared at her. "What the hell was that for?"

Corinthia ignored him. "Miranda, please, you have to consider the facts. I know that you trust Niket, but he's probably the reason we're being shot at. What if he sold you out? He was the only one who knew all the details."

"That's not possible."

"What else has happened recently that isn't possible? I'm alive. Shepard's alive. I'm working with you. That's already a whole bunch of impossible things. No one can know everything. Ever. So, you don't have to believe me now, but just be ready for it, alright? Please?"

Miranda didn't want to agree, but Corinthia had a point. "I don't want to believe you, but you might be right." She took out her pistol and turned off the safety. "And if you are, I'm going to finish this."

Corinthia bit her lip. "Don't do something you'll regret, okay? Friends forgive each other."

Miranda spun on Corinthia. "I'll deal with this however I see fit."

"I'm just trying to help. You're always so sure of yourself, but right now you aren't because you don't know, so I'm trying to help you. I'll just shut up now."

Shepard nudged Corinthia. "Scan the area. I want to know what we're in for when we get out."

"A fight?"

"Just tell me for sure."

"I think that Enaynia bitch is waiting for us."

"Enyala."

"I don't know how you remember that."

"Want me to start listing the things that you do that I don't know how you do them?"

"Is it long?"

"Very."

"We can do it later, then. I have a few questions, too..."

The elevator stopped. Sure enough, Enyala and Niket were standing right there. Miranda stepped out, pointing her pistol straight at Niket. "Is it true?" she demanded.

"Miranda..." he answered, clearly guilty.

"Why, Niket? I trusted you!"

Corinthia opened her omni-tool, ready to do... something. Next to her, Shepard was having a staring competition with Enyala, who looked like she fought the same way he did: biotics and big guns.

"You stole a baby, Miranda!" Niket answered. "You had no right."

"I had every right! I couldn't let her be my father's tool!"

"You're wrong. Everyone has a choice."

"I _gave_ her a choice."

"No, you didn't."

Corinthia saw Miranda stiffen. "I'm sorry, Niket, but you betrayed me."

Corinthia glanced at Shepard. His expression was unreadable, like he agreed with both sides and still didn't know which one of them was right. Corinthia gritted her teeth. "Miranda, don't do this."

"I have to, Ci-Ci."

"No, you don't."

"You would have done the same!"

"If that were true, you'd be dead!"

Niket looked between them. "I'm not sorry for what I've done," he said. "I'm doing the right thing."

Miranda made to shoot him. Before Corinthia could move, Shepard stepped in, pushing Miranda's arm into the air and sending the shot into the rafters. "Believe me when I say that you feel worse after getting your revenge than you did feeling like you need it," he growled.

"Oh, please," Enyala muttered. She shot Niket in the back. "Can I just kill you now?"

Shepard exchanged a quick glance with Corinthia and Miranda before they all attacked Enyala. The asari laughed, deployed a biotic field, and sprinted into cover, radioing for enforcements.

Corinthia dodged behind a crate. "Every time!" she growled, glaring at Shepard. "Is there EVER a mission that doesn't end in a fight?"

"When I got you at the gallery," he answered calmly, dispatching several Eclipse enforcers.

"Not true. I hit you, remember?"

"Yeah. My cheek's still smarting."

"I'll kiss it and make it better later. But first, gimme my baby."

"In this small area? Are you insane?"

"Yes."

He shook his head. "No. Just kill the bitch, and for once I'm not talking about Miranda."

"Thanks, Shepard," Miranda muttered, catching Enyala in a mass effect field and slamming her to the ground. Shepard ran to the asari and shot her three times in the head before throwing a grenade at the remaining Eclipse and annihilating them.

Corinthia stood up. "That was fast..."

"And we avoided Imreas, so I'd call that a victory," Shepard answered.

Miranda raised an eyebrow. "Imreas?"

"Uhm... I'll explain later," Corinthia said. "And what about you? I mean, how're you?"

Miranda looked back at Niket's body. "Numb," she answered truthfully. "I just want to finish this."

Corinthia went and hugged Miranda. "It'll be alright, you know?"

Miranda blinked, shocked. Though Corinthia was certainly the type to hug, Miranda had never expected Corinthia to hug her. Eventually, Miranda hesitantly returned the embrace. "Thank you, Ci-Ci."

Shepard groaned. If those two were becoming friends, the _Normandy_ was going to be a living Hell. It was bad enough with Corinthia and Kasumi giggling, not to mention the fact that they'd pulled Chambers into it. If Miranda got involved... If _Jack_ got involved... Or even EDI... "Yeah, we're all fucked," Shepard mused.

Corinthia released Miranda and went over to Shepard. "Well, the other couples on the _Normandy _might be, but you aren't."

He shook his head. "You're obsessed. I don't bring it up. At all."

She smirked. "That's what she said."

"Ci-Ci..."

"I know, I know: No, right?"

"Exactly."

She kissed his cheek. "You're so predictable. Ooh, what's that?" She picked up a necklace. "Huh..."

"Leave the shinies."

"Shinies?"

"Yes, shinies."

"I looks like it's someone's, though. I'm gonna try and return it."

Shepard rubbed his eyes. "Of all the people I had to fall in love with..."

Miranda stepped between. "We're not finished here yet, Shepard. I have to make sure Oriana gets off Illium safely."

"You are going to say something to her, aren't you?" Corinthia asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, let her know that she has a sister watching out for her."

"I don't think that's wise..."

"Do it, Miranda," Shepard added. "You're lucky enough to have family."

"Besides, I like having a guardian I know about," Corinthia added, winking at Shepard. "Means I can fall back on someone, you know?"

"I see your point..." Miranda took a deep breath as the elevator doors stopped and opened. Across the crowded dock was Miranda's carbon copy, though with shorter hair and a far less... clingy outfit. Miranda inhaled sharply. "It's her... It's really her."

Corinthia pulled Shepard into a corner. "We'll wait."

Miranda smiled. "Thank you."

Shepard watched Miranda leave. "So... no Imreas."

"Nope. Must be the armor."

"I'm still worried."

"Don't be."

"Yeah, right."

"Really!"

"You aren't doing a very god job of convincing me."

Corinthia sighed. "Sorry, but I'm going to deal with it."

"Like hell you are."

"Shepard..."

He grabbed her hands. "Cassie, I intend to spend the rest of my life with you. You and I are a glorified 'we' and you can't escape that. _We_ are going to deal with it and _we _are going to get through this alive, alright? So none of this 'me' bullshit."

She blushed and kissed him passionately and lovingly. "God, you're amazing..."

He chuckled and stroked her hair. "You have no idea."

"Not yet."

"No, not yet. And not until we get rid of Imreas."

"Deal. Day she's gone I'm all yours."

"Alright, we're finding a psychiatrist. Now. And then killing all the Reapers so that we can have a safe galaxy for our kids and whatnot. Or maybe a pet first."

"Dog?"

"I was thinking a geth."

"But they're sentient..."

"Okay, fine. Something else."

"A varren!"

"Seriously? Do you know how many of those things I've killed?"

"Twenty-nine?"

"Actually, that's about right..."

"Doesn't mean they can't be cute."

"Ci-Ci, you think krogan are cute."

"So?"

"Nevermind."

Miranda came back, practically glowing. "She's... She isn't mad at me. She understands..."

Corinthia grinned. "Of course she does. She's as smart as you."

"Smarter. And funny. She loves art."

"Ooh. I can send her some things, if you want."

"I... Let's just get back to the _Normandy_. And... thank you again. This turned out much better than I'd hoped."

"You're welcome," Shepard replied.

* * *

><p>When they were back on the <em>Normandy<em>, Shepard knocked on Miranda's door. She looked up from her desk. "Commander."

"Miranda," he answered, sitting down across from her. "Feel better?"

"Yes, quite. I... I wasn't expecting you to act like you did."

"I'm just full of surprises."

Miranda nodded, folding her hands before her. "Which is why I want to apologize. I underestimated you. I didn't think you capable of reason."

"I wasn't," Shepard answered flatly, "not without her around."

"I also underestimated her impact on you."

"That's normal. I can't think of the last person who didn't — including Cassie and me."

Miranda took a slow breath. "I also wanted to apologize for being uncooperative. I'm usually very good at reading people and knowing the outcome of a situation, but you surprised me time and time again..."

"You mean the fact that I'm actually a good guy, somewhere beneath all the gruff exterior." He shuddered. "And that was Ci-Ci talking right there... If I start saying 'sparkly' or 'squishy', kill me."

"Understood, Commander." Miranda smiled softly. "But, yes, I would venture to say that you are good at heart, despite how you act."

"I like big guns and explosions."

"All you need is a damsel in distress to go with that."

"I have one, which is also why I'm here."

Miranda raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Yeah... You fixed me... Can you fix her?"

Miranda shook her head. "No. I never altered your mind, Shepard, just preserved it. I'm not even a doctor, just very intelligent with very advanced technology. You're better off talking to Dr. Chakwas or Dr. Solus about her... What is the problem, anyway?"

Shepard ran a hand over his head, releasing a slow breath. "She's going insane."

Miranda blinked. "Excuse me?"

"She got stuck on a Reaper and it started indoctrinating her, so now she's going insane... Split personality or schizophrenia or something like that." He leaned forward. "I know that Cerberus isn't exactly humanitarian, so please tell me you guys have done tests on indoctrination or something."

Miranda pursed her lips. "If we have, I have yet to see it, but I'll find out, Commander. She's too valuable an ally to lose."

Shepard smirked. "You like her."

"It's hard not to, especially since it's bearable to be in the same room with you now."

Shepard chuckled. "I'm going to have to say the same for you, now that I know the Bitch Ice Queen's got a heart."

"Don't get too excited. You're not my type."

"And you're not mine, either."

"I'm still surprised you have one at all."

"Yeah, well, I want her back. Whole."

Miranda opened her computer console and started a search. "I'll find out everything I can, Commander. I promise. I owe you that much, after how you helped me with Oriana... and Niket..."

"Told you you'd be glad you didn't kill him."

Miranda nodded. "Yes, I am." She quickly scanned the screen. "That's strange..."

"What?"

"There's no record of... But how would he know?" She frowned and scooted closer to her keyboard. "Would you please excuse me, Commander? I work best alone. I'll send you a report with anything I find."

"Yeah, alright." He stood up. "Thanks, Miranda."

"Shepard."

* * *

><p><strong>9 June 2185 —Cargo Bay, Docks, Illium<strong>

Corinthia winced. "Eesh. And that is why I don't wear heels..."

Samara, an asari Justicar, serenely turned her attention from the asari's neck she'd just snapped (using her heeled boots) to Corinthia, Shepard, and Garrus. Unlike Liara, who still looked something like a freckled teenager, Samara had an air of authority about her—not the cold kind that Aria bore, but rather the kind that a vengeful mother would carry—and wise, unsmiling eyes.

"Ariadne Enig," the asari murmured. "I see you have assumed your true identity. It is Cassiopeia Corinthia-Imreas, is it not?"

Shepard looked between them. "Ci-Ci?"

"Met her before on the Citadel. It's a long story." Corinthia waved a hand in dismissal. "I just didn't get her name, then, but I couldn't forget that red suit."

"Is there anyone else I'm supposed to recruit that you know?"

"Tali... Isn't she the only one left, now?"

"She'd better be. We're running out of room."

Samara looked between them. "Do not intervene in my business, Commander."

"Listen, lady, I'm only here because—"

Corinthia put a hand over his mouth. "We're sorry, mistress, but we could use your help. I take it your mission is still going on?"

"Yes. She was here. I must find her."

"We'll help."

"WHAT?" Shepard demanded.

"I'll explain later," Corinthia whispered, elbowing him in the ribs.

Samara shook her head. "Though you know of my plight, I must do this alone."

"I understand, Mistress, but perhaps if you heard our plight you may find that it coincides with your code."

Samara narrowed her eyes. "Perhaps. I will hear you out."

They were interrupted as an asari police official came into the cargo bay. Shepard rubbed his eyes. "Figures..."

"Alright, no one shoot," Detective Anaya started. "There's enough trouble already."

Corinthia made Shepard holster his assault rifle. "We're not shooting anyone, alright? I thought we could look into this."

"You have. I've been ordered to take the Justicar into custody." Anaya turned to Shepard. "Can't you take her now and spare me the trouble?"

"I hadn't even gotten to the job, yet," Shepard answered.

"We're hunting the Reapers and Collectors," Corinthia said quickly. "They're trying to destroy the Galaxy."

Samara thought for a moment. "Though your quest is noble, my own comes first."

Anaya groaned. "Why is it never easy?"

"What, exactly, is your quest?" Shepard asked.

"I have tracked a criminal here. As you heard, I seek the name of the ship she escaped on. I cannot tell you more."

"If you get the ship name, will you come with me?"

"The code would instruct me to continue my search alone."

Anaya stepped in. "Listen, make up your minds fast, because someone has to get her out of here."

Samara glanced at Corinthia. "You have helped me before. Perhaps I will help you now. Very well. Detective, I will accompany you. My code allows me to enter your custody for one day. After that, I will leave by any means necessary. Commander, if you find the name of the ship, I will accompany you on your mission."

"Great," he muttered, "more errands."

"It won't be that bad, Shep, promise," Corinthia said cheerily. "Oh, wait, quick question, Anaya..."

"What?" the asari answered irately.

"Can Spectres override your orders?"

"Technically, no, but if you push it, I won't push back. I'll get hell for it, but it's better than controlling a Justicar."

Corinthia shrugged. "Just curious. I mean, we've got two Spectres here..."

Garrus shook his head. "And both of them aren't doing a damn thing with it."

"Gimme three hours and I'll have that ship name and an order for you to release Samara," Corinthia said, smirking.

"I don't like how that sounds," Shepard muttered.

"Thank you," Samara said, walking towards the door. "Detective?"

Anaya groaned. "And there goes the planet..."

* * *

><p><strong>Eclipse Base, Warehouses, Ilium<strong>

Imreas sat with her back to a cargo freight, omni-tool out and hacking. She had the ship name and all the information this Eclipse faction held. It had been simple. They were weak.

Next to her, Shepard's biotics were ten times more powerful than ever. He had stepped through an illegal biotic-enhancing chemical called Minagen X3. It was deadly and damaging, but it was doing exactly what it needed to: annihilating everything in sight. Hell, he even made a couple Eclipse explode.

"Ci-Ci! Cover my left," he ordered.

She stood up and did exactly as she was told with surgical precision. He took a sharp breath.

"Imreas..." he murmured.

Imreas didn't answer, deftly dispatching the last of the mercenaries.

"Won't you talk to me?" Shepard demanded.

"Commander?" Garrus asked. "What's going on?"

Shepard held up a hand to silence the turian. "Later, Garrus."

Garrus nodded. "I'll just... see what I can find, then..." He gestured vaguely to the other side of the warehouse.

Imreas emotionlessly regarded Shepard.

"Listen, I don't know what the hell you're doing in my girl, but if you so much as think of trying to take over..." He sighed. "That's a hollow threat. I couldn't hurt her even if I was trying... Just... Please. Don't try and take over. I can deal with you being in there and coming out in a tight spot, but I... I can't lose her again."

Imreas nodded. She blinked and her expression softened, quickly turning into a very, very confused Corinthia. Shepard grabbed her shoulders. "Cassie?"

"Yeah, Shep..." she whispered, rubbing her temples. "That was..."

"Do you remember anything?"

"No. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch."

He stroked her hair and pulled her against him. "You're staying with me tonight."

She curled her arms around him and nodded, doing her best to not cry. She wanted to, desperately. Her omni-tool beeped. She took a deep breath and looked at it. "Oh... Well, it looks like Imreas is as good a hacker as I am... wait, strike that... better. Much better."

"Why?"

"She kinda acquired all of the Eclipse's funding and everything they've got in their databases... And sent it to Anaya, by the looks of it. Maybe we should leave. Soon."

"Agreed. That Minagen is giving me a headache..."

"The what?"

"I'll explain on the ship. Actually..." Shepard looked at Corinthia. "The crew needs to know. About you."

"And get them all worried?" she answered. "Yeah, right..."

"Maybe they can... you know... help."

"'Help'?" she repeated. "'Help' is me staying aboard and not going on missions. it's me never, ever being near anything dangerous or that gives Harbinger an edge."

"I'll do it if it means keeping you."

She shook her head. "We can argue about this later. For now, let's get Samara, okay? I'm sure Anaya doesn't want her anymore."

"I wouldn't either, but promise me one thing."

"What?"

"You'll find out who made that outfit of hers and get one for yourself."

She flicked his ear. "You're evil."

"I love you, too."


	45. Unrevised: Traitors and Thieves

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>10 June 2185—<em>SSV Normandy SR-2, <em>en route to the Citadel**

Shepard had almost forgotten what it was like to have Corinthia sleeping next to him—well, almost sleeping. She had climbed into bed with him, reclined against his chest, and stared at the ceiling whilst idly stroking his head for the last four hours. He'd drifted off a few times, but would wake when she kissed him lightly, like she was afraid he wouldn't wake up.

He glanced over at the clock. 3:00AM. "Cassie, you need to sleep," he murmured. He shifted when she didn't answer. "It is you, isn't it?"

"Hm? Oh, yes, it's me," she breathed. "I don't sleep well anymore, that's all."

"Do you even sleep?"

"Sometimes... I get nightmares a lot, so I kinda stay awake until I can't stand."

"That's not healthy."

"I know, but..." She didn't finished, instead rolling onto her side with her back to him.

He touched her shoulder. "But what?"

"I'm afraid I'll wake up and it's still two weeks ago or two months ago or a year ago or something where you aren't alive and I'm not with you. And when I sleep, Harbinger gets louder and Imreas comes out and..." She shivered. "I can't remember the last time I had a good dream, and I dream every night."

Shepard embraced her from behind, kissing her cheek and neck. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you wake up, alright? Hell, I'd even sing you a lullaby if I could sing without shattering glass."

She laughed.

He smiled and pulled her closer. "That's my girl."

She turned so that her head rested against his throat. "John?"

"Hm?"

"Do you really think it's going to get better?"

He took a slow breath. "I don't know."

"Oh..."

"Miranda and Mordin are looking into it... you. And I'm not going to stop fighting until every last Reaper is gone and you have your mind back."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't make me your motivation."

"Too late."

"You can't be serious... You are NOT that sappy."

"It's not 'sap'. It's a fact. You know I'm selfish. I want you, now and forever, and if that means killing Reapers, I kill Reapers."

"What about saving the galaxy?"

"Call it a perk."

"What about duty?"

"We're not in the Alliance anymore, Cassie."

She sat up. "So all of this is about me?"

"Simply, yes."

She shook her head, gaping incredulously. "I don't know if I should be flattered or insulted."

"You're everything to me. I'm sure as hell not doing this for Cerberus and the Alliance can go fuck itself for all I care. So maybe it's not what I'd tell the media, but I'm not going to lie to you. Believe it or not, I do actually want to stop fighting. I want to have a peaceful life. If that means saving the galaxy, I'll do it. And, yes, I understand that I'm helping more than myself and that it's the right thing to do. I'm just not sure if I had to pick between them that I'd let you go."

She put her forehead against her knees. "You are an even worse hopeless romantic than I am."

He rubbed her back. "And this is a problem because...?"

"Because it's unnerving to be so... central to everything."

"Then why do you fight?"

She straightened. "You really want that answer?"

"I take it that it isn't me."

"Not at the core of it, no. I can't really explain it... It's like I'm fighting for some kind of dream, one that doesn't really exist, but that I'm going to make exist... Maybe it's happiness or peace or sanity or some ideal, but I guess it's really that, when you were gone, I was the only one that could. Now that you're here, we're the only ones that can, and if we don't, we sacrifice everything... literally."

He nodded and fell back onto his pillows. "Thanks for making me feel like an asshole."

She smiled softly and cuddled up next to him. "You can use my version for the media. But, do you know what?"

"What?"

She kissed his cheek. "Corny as it sounds, you are what makes me happy."

He grinned. "Thanks, Cassie. Now, get some rest. If you don't, we're going to be kissing until we get into the Citadel."

She bit her lip comically. "Decisions, decisions..."

"Do you want me to pick for you?"

"Do you want me functional for the next seventy-two hours?"

"If it means that you're passed out in here, then—"

She kissed him, pulling away right as he moved to deepen the embrace. "Night, love. Or, morning, I guess."

"Just go to sleep."

She giggled and snuggled down onto his chest. "Mm... warm."

He stroked her hair absently, now perfectly awake. Though he had been telling the truth, she was right that his focus was off. There was more to the galaxy than them. Maybe she was right and they were the only people that could save it. It was just strange to be fighting without being under orders—to choose to do it. Shepard was so used to having higher orders that the idea of _not_ having them actually intimidated him. He'd been a lieutenant commander in the Navy; you didn't get there at his age unless the Alliance wanted you to go career (which made him wonder how in the hell Corinthia had managed to get to the same rank. She was good, but she wasn't a soldier and everyone knew it). After his revival, his entire world had compressed into Vengeance. Now that it was branching back out, he'd forgotten why he'd ever fought at all... Had he enlisted to escape? Yes, that was it... Some escape. He'd only gone from one hell to another (and found an angel in the middle of it).

_Dear God, I'm becoming some kind of pussy_, he thought. _Angel? Saying I love you every day? What the fuck is she doing to me?_

Not that he really cared. He couldn't be icy forever, especially not with her. Hell, he _wanted_ to be warm, if only for her, especially now that she truly needed him there for her, not the other way around. Though he still needed her there to... control some of his more primal urges in a fight, he'd pretty well sorted out what was the right thing to do and what wasn't, and now he had to keep an eye on her in case Imreas came out and went bat-shit crazy.

He closed his eyes, making a mental note not to bring Xerxes out on any missions when Corinthia was with him. As fun as destruction, chaos, and anarchy were, Imreas did NOT need a reason to come out.

* * *

><p>Garrus paced the CIC, waiting for Shepard to show up.<p>

"Damn it, Shepard, where the hell are you?" the turian muttered.

Chambers frowned. "Are you alright, Garrus?"

"No, I'm not. Where is he?"

"He and Ci-Ci haven't been down all morning."

Garrus shook his head. "At least he'll be in a good mood."

"That is true... He's always nicer after they've been together for a few hours. He actually talked to me a few days ago."

"Miracles happen. Let's just hope that he can keep making them..."

"He will. I can tell."

"You're almost as perky as Ci-Ci."

Chambers shook her head. "I can't hope to compete."

"Like I said: almost."

The elevator doors opened and Corinthia walked out. "Garrus!" she greeted, grinning and gallomping him with a hug. "Why're you so pouty? Did some turian chick ditch you because of your scars? Where is she? I'll tell her a thing or two..."

Garrus chuckled. "It's not that, Ci-Ci, though I think it would be interesting to go drinking with you..."

"It's happening. We're at the Citadel, right? I know this great club—"

"I have something I need to take care of first. Where's Shepard?"

"Showering." She blushed a little. "He banished me."

"What'd you do? Steal his towel?"

She winked. "Something like that."

"His clothes, too?"

"I kinda put his pants in the fish tank..."

Garrus laughed. "Why?"

Corinthia was trying (and failing) to look innocent and suppress an evil laugh. "I wanted him to wear something else..."

"Alright, stop right now."

"It wasn't nasty, honest!"

"I really don't believe that one bit."

"I wanted him to wear something besides to cargo pants. They look terrible! Besides, you didn't see him in that suit, did you?"

"Yeah, I did. He didn't look like himself at all."

She shrugged. "Well, I liked it. My tastes have developed a little bit since the last _Normandy_."

"True. You actually do something with your hair."

"Garrus! I didn't realized you'd noticed."

The turian shuffled his feet. "Well, I..."

Corinthia patted his shoulder. "It's sweet, Gary."

"Gary?" he repeated. "You're not nicknaming everyone, are you?"

"Am I?"

Garrus ticked off his fingers as he started listing them off. "Sumi, Din-Din, Jakey Boy, Randy, Joker, EDI Prime, Shep, Mmmmm-Thane, TIM or Lucy Manny or 'that goddamn bastard', Krogy-Wogy Gwunt, Zeedee, Jack..."

"That last one wasn't a nickname."

"Insulting Jack is to insulting you in front of Shepard: Deadly."

Corinthia snickered. "That is true... I can't believe you got them all."

"Yeah, well, Gary can't really help but hear you and Sumi giggle and send the entire ship into an uproar. I swear, if Shepard can't kill the Reapers, you both will with... with whatever it is that makes you laugh so much. If I was still in C-Sec, I'd arrest you for conspiracy."

Corinthia shrugged. "Well, it's for theft, actually."

"I know she's a thief."

"Oh, no, it's not that. We've got new names: the Knicker Nicker and the Purloiner of Leathers."

"But... Wait, what?"

Kasumi's laughter echoed from the Weapons room. Jacob yelled something indistinguishable and Kasumi darted into view. "The Purloiner of Leathers," she repeated.

"We stole Thane's jacket," Corinthia explained.

"And Jack's... er, shirt."

"Shepard's boots..."

"Zaeed's shirt."

Corinthia blinked. "What? When?"

"This morning. He hasn't noticed yet."

"Yeah... no. Put it back."

"You're no fun..." Kasumi still smiled and put her arm around Corinthia. "And she is the Knicker Nicker."

"Garrus knows that already."

"You mean you actually did it?"

"Yeah... he caught me, but I did it."

"Jacob's next."

They exchanged glances and looked towards the helm and said, "Joker!" in unison.

Garrus rubbed his eyes. "I rest my case. The Collector's heads would explode listening to you two."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "You know, it's worth a shot."

"If Shepard can stay sane."

"If _I _can stay sane."

"Don't worry. I'll keep you in line."

"Thanks, Sumi."

"You're welcome, Ci-Ci."

Shepard came out of the elevator to a wall of giggling. He raised an eyebrow. "And I think I'll just keep going down..."

Garrus stepped back into the elevator with the Commander. "Take me with you while you're at it." The doors slid closed and they headed down to the Crew deck. "At least this _Normandy_ doesn't have stairs... We'd hear them everywhere."

Shepard shuddered. "Agreed. What was that all about?"

"You don't want to know. I think they destroyed my brain."

Shepard snorted. "And, again, I wonder why the hell I fell in love with her..."

"She laughs enough for the two of you."

"Point."

"But kidding aside, I need to ask a favor, Commander."

"Go for it."

Garrus took a deep breath. "I found him."

Shepard's expression hardened. "Where?"

"On the Citadel. He's trying to escape. I can't let him."

"He won't get away."

"I have another request."

"What?"

"Don't bring Ci-Ci. She'll... She won't like what I have planned. She wouldn't let me."

Shepard frowned. "That's usually a sign that it's not a good idea."

"Listen, Commander, I trust her, but I want this. He has to die. You understand."

Shepard nodded, studying the ground as they stepped onto the Crew Deck. "It doesn't help anything. Killing one Collector meant I had to kill three more. Then you just go numb and ignore the pain."

"I have to try, Shepard, after everything he did..."

"Just tell her what you have in mind, alright? See what she says."

Garrus shook his head. "I know what she'll say." He coughed and attempted to mimic her voice. "'Oh, Gary, you poor thing.' Then she'll hug me and kiss my scars or something like that. 'I know it's hard, but you have to let go. Just find out if he feels guilty before you do something silly. If he's pouting, leave him. If he's acting like Shepard, kill him.'"

Shepard nodded smugly. "Not bad, Garrus. I'm not sure she'd say 'pouting' over 'pouty', but that's a solid imitation. And, regardless, she's right. Or, as the case it, you're right. You should hear his side of the story first before you go killing him."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that..."

Shepard put his hand on the turian's shoulder. "Trust me. Hatred is not a good thing to hold onto. It eats you alive."

"Yeah, well, at least you have her to cheer you up."

Shepard smirked. "Lonely, are we?"

"Yeah... It's not an easy life."

"Tell me about it."

"Ci-Ci mentioned going to a bar once we're on the Citadel."

"You're on."

* * *

><p><strong>12 June 2185—<em>SSV Normandy SR-2<em>, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula**

Garrus stormed in. Corinthia opened her mouth to greet him, but he pushed past her and into the elevator. Corinthia raised an eyebrow and looked at Shepard. "Alright, what did you do?"

"I didn't let him kill someone," Shepard answered, running a hand over his head. "I did exactly what you would've done and Garrus was not happy."

"I see... But good job, sweetie." She kissed his cheek. "I'm going out with Randy and Sumi and Kelly. We'll be back later, alright?"

"Wait, what?"

"They wanted to see the Gallery, so I'm taking them. Besides, I need to grab a few things from my place. Don't worry. We aren't going to blow anything up."

"That would be if you brought Jack with you."

Corinthia shrugged. "I asked. She wasn't interested."

"You're insane."

"You know it." She winked. "Or were we leaving?"

"Not yet."

"Good. We'll be back in a few hours."

"Don't spend all my money."

"I'm not spending _your_ money. Okay, that's not true. You left me everything when you died, so... When did you write that will, anyway?"

"After Akuze. You were the only person I knew and I didn't really have anything..."

"But you said that you didn't even really like me until after Torfan."

"Did I say it made sense? Besides, i knew that we'd be friends. Anyway, it was all so confused that I don't even know when I felt what for you."

"This isn't a conversation we need to have right now, but, no, I won't spend your money. Hell, I'll give it back, if you want."

"It's our money."

She blinked. "Wasn't expecting to hear that... But, if you say so, I won't complain."

Kasumi, Kelly, and Miranda appeared. "All set?" Miranda asked.

"Yes," Ariadne answered, pulling out her hair tie and shaking out her locks. "Let's go, shall we?"

"Bring me back something to drink," Shepard ordered. "And something good! The bar in here is shit."

Ariadne winked. "Of course, darling."

Joker cheered when they were gone. "Yeah! Man-time for us! Party!"

"I am still here, Jeff," EDI stated.

Joker gritted his teeth. "Party pooper."

"Yeah, man-time does sound good... That giggling's giving me a migrane."

"Ci-Ci mentioned something about makeovers, so hopefully they'll be a while."

Shepard headed to the elevators. "I think Garrus needs a drink."

"I think everyone here does."

"It's that kind of mission." Joker scratched his head. "You haven't yelled at the Illusice Man recently."

"Miranda's been doing it for me. Besides, I haven't done anything for him lately."

"You also got Ci-Ci back."

"Don't push it, Joker, so shut up."

"Aye, aye, Commander. Shutting up."

* * *

><p><strong>13 June 2185-<em>SSV Normand SR-2,<em> en route to Beckenstein, Boltzmann System, Serpent Nebula**

Shepard stared at the statue of Saren, fingering his pistol. Corinthia came up next to him, taking his hand away from the weapon and intertwining her fingers with his.

"Kasumi said she got this from you," he murmured.

"Yeah," she answered softly.

"I hope you had a fucking good reason to every sell something like this?"

"Sculpt," she corrected.

"What?"

"I sculpted it."

He tugged his hand away from hers. "WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Sumi asked for it! She... Look, it's not my story to tell, but lets just say that I empathized enough to make this... monstrosity. Besides, she promised that I could shoot it when we didn't need it anymore." She grabbed Shepard's wrist before he could do the same. "Please, just wait. You can kill it later. Besides, I upgraded it." She opened the base, revealing cut outs for armor and weapons. "Room for whatever goodies you could want."

"I don't get it."

"Sumi didn't tell you?"

"No, but apparently we're headed that way."

"Well... why do you think she created Solomon Gunn?"

"To get me into your gallery? I don't know."

Corinthia giggled. "Yeah, she might've given you a name, but she created an entire background with repuation and everything. No, you've been invited to a party and Donovan Hock's house and you're bringing him a gift." She jerked a thumb to the statue of Saren.

"You mean she actually expects me to go to a party and not blow things up?"

"Well... Yes..."

He laughed bitterly. "She expects a lot, then, unless you're coming, too."

Corinthai shrugged. "Not sure. Do you want me?"

"Always."

She blushed and rolled her eyes. "Do you want me to come?"

"Of course."

She winked. "Alright," Ariadne said, "but there's a few things you need to know about escorting a lady to a refined party of criminals."

He rolled his eyes. "You're kidding me, aren't you?"

"No. Ariadne Enig was voted the most eligible bachelorette on the Citadel and she is not won easily. So, to have conquered her heart, you must really be something and fulfill all of the standards she's set to other men."

"Oh my God..."

She kissed his cheek. "Don't worry too much. You already were the standard, though perhaps a bit more Galahad-like then reality. Besides, we've never been in public together."

"Not true."

"Walking to my house from the gallery and to Flux from the _Normandy_ don't count. This is different. This is _very_ different. First of all, we don't hold hands. We go arm in arm."

Shepard let her manipulate him. "This is weird..."

"Don't worry, you'll doing marvelously."

"No, I mean, you being... you. Ariadne. I know that it's you, but at the same time, it doesn't seem like it. It's unnerving."

"Then it'll be easier to—"

He put a finger to her lips. "Look, your voice is sexy like this, but I feel like I'm cheating on you or something..."

"But it's me. Doing a voice."

"Not quite... You changed. You're more confident. Mature. Less likely to say, 'that's what she said'. You're... sophisticated. Like the Miranda version of you."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"This isn't going to be a permanent thing, is it?"

Corinthia shook her head. "No, not at all, but you need to get used to hearing it. It's still safer for me to be dead, you know. Cerberus may not be after me anymore, but the Shadow Broker and Collectors are."

"The Collectors are coming after me anyway and you and I both know that the Shadow Broker agents are pussies."

"Not the ones I got put up against. So, are we going to do this?"

"Yeah, sorry. So, Ariadne, it's arm in arm..."

Ariadne smiled gratefully. "Next, we kiss on the cheek or forehead, not lips... unless I want to, and even then, no tongues."

"You'd better start giving me examples of that last one."

She kissed him lightly, pulling away before he did exactly what she thought he would (deepen the kiss and try and stick his tongue down her throat). "Now, now, none of that." You'll get a nice, long, messy make-out session when you're done with the lesson."

He smirked, but quickly changed it to a soft smile. He kissed her hand. "As you wish, my dear."

She blinked, shocked at the gentleness in his voice... and that, for once, he didn't sound colder than ice. Her mouth hung open a little. He put his hand on the small of her back and kissed her temple. "You know, I knew all of this already. I just wanted to see your reaction."

"Are you going crazy like me?" she breathed.

"Not one bit. I'm completely capable of this, just not when I'm in uniform."

"So you're not a sex demon love god? Damn it..."

His lips brushed against her ear as he whispered, "You have no idea."

"I hate to interrupt," Kasumi said, "but we're getting close to Hock's. You can't go looking like that."

Corinthia nodded. "Why do you think I brought all of those dresses back with me?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "How many?"

"You'll see them all eventually, but you need a tux, too, Mr. Gunn, and I know you have one."

"I'd hoped to gate-crash in my armor."

"That's why I made this monster." She patted the base of the Saren statue. "Just pick your poison."

"there was only room for my armor."

Corinthia shook her head. "Ariadne doesn't carry a sidearm. She also runs around in heels. So, it'll be just you and Sumi unless you're going to let me do my job in the dress... and I think you'll say no once you see it."

"Will I be able to do my job?"

"You'll get a sneak peek before we leave. If you stand staring for too long, it's doing the right thing." She winked and left arm-in-arm with Kasumi.

Shepard groaned and headed to the elevators. "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"


	46. Unrevised: Hock

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>13 June 2185—Beckenstein, Boltzmann System, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Ariadne checked her make-up in the mirror program on her omni-tool. Again. She was nervous, though less about her performance and more about Shepard's. Aside from him gaping at her when she came down in her party dress (a short, black, backless, leather thing that hugged all of her curves with sophisticated class), he'd been trying his best to get into character. Kasumi had done a good job in setting up Solomon Gunn. He had a background that explained any of Shepard's attitudes, idiosyncrasies, or habits, giving him a fierce reputation and the right to expect people to fear him. Unlike Miranda, Kasumi had known Corinthia's version of Shepard, so she ensured that there was room enough to explain any "good" he might accidentally do.

Shepard put his hand over hers and disengaged her omni-tool. "You look great, Ariadne. I'll let you know if your lipstick smudges."

She smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Solomon."

Kasumi coughed conspicuously. "Alright, Shepard, let's go over this again."

Shepard shook his head. "I already know it all, Kasumi. How long before we get there?"

"Two minutes. I still want to hear it again."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Ariadne and I go into the party. You follow, cloaked. We go see the safe and figure out what to do from there. Avoid getting caught."

"That's pretty basic, but it'll have to do," Kasumi murmured.

"There's nothing else to say. We avoid a fight if we can. Keep the men off Ariadne."

Ariadne snorted. "I can handle myself, thank you."

"I don't know if I should be grateful or not."

"Well, two years of fending off your competitors does make one rather good at ridding oneself of unwanted attentions."

"This I have to see..."

"And you will. Donovan Hock's been after me ever since he met me."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Can I ask how many people you've had to get rid of?"

"I lost count."

"Damn. I must be worth something, then."

"Just a little."

Kasumi landed the shuttle outside a large, white manor. Beckenstein was a beautiful planet, with green terrain, blue-purple skies, and a Eden-like habitat. It was reserved for the rich and powerful, meaning that most of the inhabitants were criminals attempting sophistication. Most them were Ariadne's clients, since she had become the premier art dealer in the galaxy.

Shepard exited first, offering Ariadne a hand and helping her out. She smiled at him. "Thank you, Solomon."

He kissed her hand, put his arm around her waist, and guided her towards the main entrance. He stopped as Hock's guards unloaded the statue of Saren. "Well, it wasn't damaged during that flight," Ariadne murmured.

"Hopefully he'll like it."

"Oh, I know he will. You should see the pieces he usually buys."

"Other people Shepard killed?"

"Well, people he would've if they were alive for him to kill."

"Hitler?"

"Try something more annoying."

"That girlfriend of his... Commander Corinthia."

Ariadne raised an eyebrow. "She was annoying? Funny. From what the records said, they were best friends."

"Well, even best friends can get under each others' skins sometimes."

A guard stopped them. "Your name."

"Solomon Gunn."

"And hers?"

"Oh, come now, Anthony, you remember me, don't you?" Ariadne said, her tone near seductive.

"Ms. Enig?" the guard stammered. "You... I don't see your name on the list."

"She's my guest," Shepard said lowly.

"And Donovan did say that I was always welcome," Ariadne added, "but, by all means, check. I'm sure he'll let me in. Besides, I know he loves surprises."

Anthony grinned dazedly and put his finger to his earpiece. Shepard leaned down and whispered, "Do I even want an explanation?"

Ariadne kissed his cheek lightly. "Let's just say that a bit of self-confidence can go a long way."

Shepard shook his head. "I don't know if I prefer this or the shy and nervous version."

"Well, you have all night to decide."

He shivered a the promise in her voice. "And if this takes all night?"

She winked. "We'll see."

"Ms. Enig, Mr. Gunn, you're welcome to go in, but only the two of you." Anthony pointed to Kasumi. "She stays out. No weapons other than personal ones, either."

Shepard looked back at Kasumi. Ariadne laughed. "Honestly, why would our driver come in with us? Ms. Takei was kind enough to give us a ride over from the Citadel. Thank you, Hitomi. I'll see you later, then? We'll finish discussing the plans for the new office."

"Of course, Ms. Enig," Kasumi answered, quickly getting into character. "Just let me know when you're ready to leave."

Shepard and Ariadne went inside. "Hitomi Takei?" he whispered.

"She works for me on the Citadel. She's my warehouse manager."

"You're joking."

"Not at all."

Hock's residence was nothing short of magnificent. A wall of windows overlooked Beckstein's countryside. Bookcases lined the walls, accented by tasteful art and sculpture, and two winding staircases went up to the second floor. The party was in full swing, with well-dressed thugs mingling with the women and various other guests in every corner possible. Hock stood at the center of it all, his white suit loudly identifying himself as the host, with a glass in his hand and a false smile on his lips.

"I don't like him already," Shepard muttered.

"Pretend that you do. You're a name in Omega's underworld, you know." Ariadne smiled widely. "Donovan."

"Ariadne!" Hock answered, his smile turning genuine for a brief moment. He spoke with an Afrikaans accent, had dark skin and hair, and looked very much like the weapons dealer and smuggler he was. He took her hands and kissed her cheeks. "I see you've finally accepted my invitation."

"Well, I had to give in eventually," she answered, all charm, "but I must admit that I had another reason."

"Oh? And what was that?" Hock's eyes were already on Shepard.

"Solomon Gunn," Shepard introduced, holding out his hand.

Hock shook it, never taking his eyes off Shepard. "Are you her escort?"

"Boyfriend."

Hock turned his attention to Ariadne. She blushed slightly and shrugged. "I know, who would have guessed? He came in to order a piece and we just kept talking and... Well, you understand, I'm sure."

Hock smiled, though his eyes were cold. "And here I believed it was impossible to win your heart."

Shepard shrugged. "Maybe you weren't using the right tactics."

"Oh? Dare I asked what worked for you?"

Shepard smirked. "Total disinterest."

Ariadne rolled her eyes. "That isn't exactly what I'd call your seduction method."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. I'd call it, 'shock and awe'."

"True... But it wouldn't have been a shock if you saw it coming, now, would it?"

Hock crossed his arms. "Well, I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into, Mr. Gunn."

"Not a clue," Shepard answered, winking. "But, all that said, thank you for the invitation. It seems that I'm moving... up in the world."

Hock inclined his head. "I always treat my clients well. How is the Cain working out for you?"

"Just great. Now, this is my gift." Shepard gestured at the statue of Saren as it passed them, heading towards Hock's vault.

Hock's eyes flashed greedily. "A true likeness... and this is Ariadne's work?"

Shepard nodded.

"This has to be one of your masterpieces," Hock murmured. "Though I still think your true gift is with painting. Tell me, is that one Perseus piece still available?"

"Indeed. Shall I arrange a viewing?"

"Please."

"I'll contact Mia to set up an appointment, then."

"I'd like you to show me... personally."

Shepard gritted his teeth jealously.

Ariadne smiled. "Unfortunately, I will not be in the Gallery for some time. I am currently setting up several other galleries and will be travelling between them. You understand, of course."

"Ah, but won't you make an exception for such a critical client as myself?"

"Perhaps. We will see if our schedules match. Thank you again for the invitation."

"Of course. Have a drink. Enjoy yourselves."

Shepard nodded, curtly said, "Mr. Hock," and guided Ariadne away. They went out onto the balcony, Ariadne leaning against the rail and Shepard standing before her. Though they both appeared to be surveying the scenery, they were really watching the party. Being in a place with so many 'bad' people without the ability to shoot anyone was unnerving. Ariadne caught Shepard's hand before he drew his pistol and started a killing spree.

"Easy," she murmured. "It'll be over soon."

"Is he always like that?" he asked, trying not to let his anger get to him (after all, someone else had been hitting on her in front of him and was NOT intimidated by Shepard's death-glare).

"Sleezily believing that he is seductive? Yes," Ariadne answered, watching Hock from over Shepard's shoulder. "The worst part is that he's actually one of the more subtle ones. He's also a true patron of the arts. He's bought more from me than anyone else and has contributed billions to various foundations."

"A criminal with a heart."

"I would put that label on you long before I would on him."

"Should I be grateful?"

"Yes."

"Then thank you."

"Alright, enough chatter," Kasumi radioed. "We need to find Hock's safe."

"Where are you?" Shepard murmured.

"Cloaked and watching. It's always fun to see Ariadne deal with men."

"Other men, you mean."

"No, just men. It's fun to see her deal with you, too."

"Stalker," Ariadne hissed. She straightened and walked past Shepard. "I know where his safe is. Follow me."

"You could've told us this sooner," Kasumi grumbled.

"You didn't ask."

The entrance to Hock's safe was subtly located beneath the main floor, behind a fountain and sculpture in a sunken walkway that no one used or paid any notice to. Shepard strolled in as if he had every right to be there. Saren's statue sat to his right. The Commander's fist clenched as all the memories flooded back. Ariadne put her hand on his arm. "Easy. He's dead and we'll shoot this thing later."

Kasumi materialized at their side. "Well, he's more cautious than you, Ariadne. He's got DNA scans, voice recognizer with rotating password, key-code..."

"You haven't seen his collection," Ariadne answered.

"You have?"

"He's bragged about it, though now that you mention it, I might have an easy way in..."

Shepard caught the glint in Ariadne's eye. "No," he ordered. "You are not going anywhere alone with him."

"As if I'd let him touch me."

"My way first," Shepard pressed.

"Alright. Good luck finding everything you need."

"I've had harder tasks."

"Correction: you _have _harder tasks."

"Don't remind me."

Ariadne held up her arm, her omni-tool coming to life. Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Do I want to know why that's working without your hard-suit computer?"

"Jewelry," she answered, pointing to her bracelet. "Amazing how small technology is, isn't it?" She waved her hand across the safe. "Mm, I could get us in without finding anything, but he would know what happened, which we don't want, do we, Kasumi?"

"No," the thief replied. "Though I'm curious how hard it would be to get in."

"Five minutes flat."

"Wow. You're better than I thought."

"I'm not as subtle as you are."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "So we have a plan B. For once in my life I don't want to get into a fight. So, shall we go get some DNA or whatever other shit we need?"

"Of course," Ariadne answered, letting Shepard escort her back to the party. "Want a drink?" she asked.

"Yes."

She kissed his cheek lightly and left.

"I need you to get Hock talking," Kasumi radioed. "We're going to need a sample so that we can reconstruct the password."

"Why didn't you do this earlier?" Shepard demanded.

"I didn't know! I'm sure you can find something to talk about."

Before Shepard could think of anything, Hock came over. "So, how long have you been with Ariadne?"

Shepard winced. _Of all the subjects..._ "Two months or so. I can't remember exactly."

Hock smirked. "Don't tell her that."

"She'll remind me every so often and I surprise her frequently enough that it doesn't matter."

"You're a lucky man. I've been trying to make her go to dinner with me for almost a year. She is very intelligent and can talk her way out of anything."

Shepard smirked. "The trick is to not let her talk."

"Oh, really? And how did that work for you?"

"She's here with me, isn't she?"

Hock chuckled. "So what did you do exactly?"

Shepard grabbed a drink from a passing server and raised it to his lips. "Grabbed her while she was still gaping at me and kissed the hell out of her."

Hock laughed. "And that worked?"

"She likes men with backbones."

"As your reputation precludes."

"Part of the business."

Hock eyed Ariadne. "And her?"

"Pleasure."

"Do you let the mix?"

"My pleasure is my business... She's a different kind."

"You can say that again."

"More," Kasumi urged quietly.

Ariadne felt Hock watching her and shuddered. "I hate that man..."

Kasumi nodded, though no one could see her. "Agreed."

"I know that you do. And you have a much better reason."

"I'm curious. What was your other plan?"

"Get Hock to show me his collection."

"As if Shepard would let you do that."

"I know, I know. That's why I didn't specify."

"You're going to do it, aren't you?"

"And you can sneak in with us, yes, and take what you need."

"And if we get into a fight?"

"We can handle ourselves." Ariadne went silent as someone passed. "You keep helping Shepard get what he needs. I'll arrange it so that we go down in a while, alright?"

"I don't know about this..." Kasumi whispered uneasily.

"We'll be fine. You'll see."

Hock burst into a monologue. Everyone turned to watch. Ariadne smirked as Shepard rolled his eyes. She joined him. "Quite the speech, Donovan."

Hock shrugged. "What can I say? Now, how do you like how I've displayed your works? I've had several comments on them all."

"Now's a good time to go find some DNA," Kasumi radioed. "He'll be distracted with Ariadne for a while."

Shepard kissed her temple, murmuring his intentions in her ear before leaving.

Hock's eyes followed Shepard incredulously. "I don't understand how a man like that got a girl like you."

"Well, every girl likes a bad boy." Ariadne winked.

"And I don't qualify?"

"Maybe five years ago you would have, but Solomon hasn't gotten your refinement yet. A diamond in the rough. A stolen and smuggled blood diamond in the rough," she corrected.

"And you don't care?"

"A diamond is still a diamond. Besides, have you seen his scars? Mm. He's a real Achilles."

"I should have known..."

"Don't be jealous, Donovan. You just aren't my type, I'm sorry."

"At least I am mostly legitimate. He's a mercenary. A brute."

"I have enough refinement for the both of us," Ariadne answered sternly. "Now, you mentioned my Perseus painting?"

* * *

><p>Shepard climbed over some scaffolding towards Hock's room, only to see Ariadne there with Hock. Worse, the bastard was putting his best moves on her. It was hard to tell if she was aware of them and didn't care or if she was oblivious. Shepard thought the former (since she deftly slipped away from him whenever he moved dangerously close). Shepard removed the safety from his pistol. If Hock actually managed to touch her, he was getting a bullet in his head.<p>

Next to Shepard, Kasumi rolled her eyes. "Here we go again..."

"This happens?" Shepard asked.

"In case you didn't notice, your girlfriend is sexy."

"I've always thought she was."

"Well, you may have thought that, but did you know that the rest of the world did?"

Shepard shrugged. "They usually stopped their advances after I gave them a glare."

"And you weren't there to scare them off this time."

"Fuck."

"Actually, it's rather amusing. Watch. He'll never get closer than six inches to her."

Sure enough, Ariadne was an expert at dodging unwanted attentions. No matter what Hock tried, she was always just out of reach. "No wonder why he wants her so badly," Shepard murmured.

Kasumi opened her omni-tool. "She needs to move."

"What the hell is she up to, anyway?"

"Getting us into the vault. I think." Kasumi put a finger to her ear, trying to listen more closely.

"... to leave my own party?" Hock was saying.

"You know you hate it as much as I do," Ariadne said, smiling.

"I'll need a good reason."

"Three original Enigs is a very good reason."

"I'd rather have something else."

She deftly avoiding him stroking her cheek. "That remains strictly off the menu, even for Solomon."

"Maybe something less trying?"

"Three Enigs."

"One and a kiss."

"Three."

"Two and a hug."

"Three."

"This isn't negotiating."

She shrugged. "Maybe not for you, but I heard you had the David and I want it."

"It will cost you."

She smirked. "Three—"

Hock grabbed her shoulders. "Don't make me do something I'll regret."

"Let. Me. Go," she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Why not? Didn't he just take what he wanted?"

"You have no idea who you're dealing with."

"Neither do you."

Ariadne grabbed one of his wrists, twisted out of his grip, and wrenched his arm around behind him. "Artist or not, I do know how to defend myself."

Hock wrenched away, rubbing his shoulder. "I was not referring to myself. I was referring to Mr. Gunn. He is not who he says he is."

Ariadne crossed her arms. "Is that so? You know taht I do a background check on every single one of my clients."

"That man is Lieutenant Commander John Shepard of the Alliance Military and the Council Spectres."

Ariadne raised an eyebrow. "Shepard was killed in action two years ago by the geth."

"Apparently that wasn't true. He's alive." Hock tossed a datapad at her. "See for yourself."

Ariadne glanced at it. It was a picture of the _Normandy_ docking on Omega, with Shepard walking around (looking nothing short of evil incarnate) with Miranda and Jacob at his side. There was no mistaking him. Ariadne faked shock. "It can't be..."

"Now do you understand?"

She turned her shock into a smirk. "And you think I'd have a problem with this?"

"What?" Hock asked darkly.

"Shepard was the sexiest man in the galaxy two years ago. Frankly, I still agree." Ariadne put the datapad back in Hock's hands. "So maybe he needs a new identity and took a new job. I don't care one bit. Now, I'd sill like to see the Michelangelo."

"You aren't going to give up on that, are you?"

"No. Three of my pieces just to see it. Any of your choice."

"Any five and you have a deal."

"Three is more than enough for a glance."

"Four."

"Deal."

Kasumi blinked. "She just got us into the vault."

Shepard was shaking. It had taken every fiber of his being to not shoot Hock when he'd grabbed Ariadne, but she'd been in the way. "I'm going to kill that bastard."

Kasumi bit her lip and clenched a fist. She wanted to do the same thing, though she had never voiced that desire to anyone. "You get back to the party. I'll find us some DNA."

Shepard nodded and snuck back into the party. He quickly cornered Ariadne, pulled her into his arms, and kissed her (depsite her feeble and half-hearted protests).

She sighed when he pulled away. "You saw, then, didn't you?"

"I'm glad no one else has a chance."

"It doesn't help that he's ugly." She bit her lip. "Did you hear, too?"

"No. Why?"

"He knows it's you. That you're Shepard."

"How is this a problem?"

"Because it means he's suspicious to start with. I'm going to see if I can get him to let you come, too, alright?"

"Bat your eyelashes some more?"

She ran a finger along his cheek. "Let me do this and, I promise you, your lips are going to be numb when I'm finished with you later."

"Just my lips?"

She rolled her eyes. "The best you're going to get is that I'll still be in this dress."

"I'll take that."

"What else were you expecting?"

"A massage?"

"Alright. Make-out session and a massage."

"Good."

Hock came up. "Ah, Mr. Gunn. Ms. Enig requested to see my personal collection of art. Would you care to join us?"

Shepard narrowed his eyes, detecting something else in Hock's voice. If they went like this, Shepard wouldn't be able to arm himself. Then again, why was he complaining? He was biotic, and a damned good one. He had Ci-Ci and Kasumi. Maybe the Saren piece would be inside already...

Shepard smiled and nodded. "Of course. Ariadne says that you have a better collection than she does."

"My collection is mostly my own stuff," she interjected.

"If you don't mind waiting until the majority of the guests have departed,.." Hock said.

"Oh, no, of course not," Ariadne answered, smiling.

"He's up to something," Shepard muttered as soon as he was gone. "We're going ahead with my plan."

"As if it's any better."

"At least I'll have an assault rifle and not have to stop that guy from panting down your neck."

"Fine. Shoot things. Blow things up. Be a man."

He grinned. "As you wish."

* * *

><p>Shepard pulled on his armor. Ariande kept watch at the door, her omni-tool open. "I don't like this," she whispered. "Hock's disappeared again."<p>

"Fuck him," Shepard answered. "And I'm speaking metaphorically. Don't you dare take that as an order."

"I know that!"

"Just checking!"

Ariadne rolled her eyes. "Men..."

Kasumi took a deep breath. "This is it."

Ariadne squeezed her friend's hand. "You'll be alright."

Kasumi nodded, not really hearing. She was just stealing another piece of art. Data. Technology. It wasn't about Keiji. It wasn't about revenge. It wasn't...

Shepard locked his gloves into place. "Let's go. You gonna be okay, Ci-Ci?"

Ariadne glanced at the door. "Yeah... no. I want to see what's in here." She darted through the vault door after Kasumi and Shepard.

"Please tell me I won't regret this," Shepard muttered.

"You won't," Corinthia answered.

"No more Ariadne? I was just getting used to it."

"Nah. I wanna see how long I can last in this dress and these heels."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "I almost liked her better."

"All... most..." Corinthia trailed off when she saw Hock's collection. "Fuck me..."

In brief, Hock had everything but the Mona Lisa. He had the David, the head of the Statue of Liberty, Prothean works, turian sculpture, a massive ogre that looked suspiciously familiar, and a pedastol with weapons. Shepard went there instantly, though Corinthia was left staring at the David. "Stupid terrorists, breaking art like this," she muttered, eyeing its lack of nose, arm, and... goods.

Kasumi picked up a two inch by two inch box—an older neural implant that stored extra memory called a Grey Box. "I've got it. Let's go."

Corinthia looked around. "But I haven't seen everything yet!"

Shepard shook his head. "Yeah, well, you're coming back later, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Right. I forgot about that."

Hock laughter filled the room. Corinthia and Shepard exchanged glances. "Shit."

* * *

><p><strong><em>SSV Normandy SR-2<em>, en route to the Citadel**

Kasumi stared out at the stars, her visor playing Keiji's last message to her over and over. It was all she had left of him, all she would ever be able to keep of him... Somewhere in his heart, despite the dangerous information that the Grey Box contained, Shepard had found it in his heart to let her keep it. Kasumi knew that he understood and knew almost exactly how she felt (though she doubted anyone could feel as miserable as she was), but he also had a golden streak in him that would make him do something like take that last part of Keiji away because it was dangerous.

Then again, why had she been scared at all? Shepard was dating a schizophrenic, split-personality, hacking and artistic genius that just so happened to be the only reason he was good at all. Kasumi had seen him without Ci-Ci and, though it was attractive in a bad-boy kind of way, it was frightening. Despite his gruff and almost emotionless exterior, he knew exactly what love meant to those that truly felt it.

Corinthia hugged Kasumi and kissed the top of her head. "How ya feeling?"

"Alright," Kasumi answered truthfully. "Better than I expected. At least that bastard Hock is dead."

"Did it make you feel better?"

"A little."

"When are you going to stalk Jacob next?"

Kasumi smirked. "Tomorrow. I love Keiji, but, mm, Jacob is fine. Aren't you supposed to be with Shepard?"

"He needs to yell at the Illusive Man about something." Corinthia shrugged and fell back onto her bed. "He's also deciding where we're going next first. I think it's Tuchanka."

"The Krogan homeworld?"

"Yep. I'm excited."

"Seriously?"

"I could see a baby krogan! They're SO adorable!"

Kasumi rubbed her temples. "I really hope you and Shepard have children. I think the combination of the both of you is going to be about perfect."


	47. Unrevised: Tuchanka

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Many of the characters contained herein—Shepard included—are property of Bioware. Shepard is partially of my forging, since I am able to choose many of his reactions to events within the parameters of the game. The sequence of events and their outcomes are property of Bioware. The interpretations of and reactions to the events are largely my own. Ci-Ci is mine. Please do not repost this story or any parts of it herein. Always give credit where it is due. I owe the Mass Effect Wiki a great deal for helping me figure out timelines, details, and other such things that I did not pick up during the game._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>16 June 2185—Shepard's Quarters, <em>Normandy SR-2<em>, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula**

Corinthia was still slung over Shepard when she woke. She blinked, trying to sort out where (and when) she was. The holo clock next to the bed was ticking, still humming whatever music she'd put on the night before. Her dress was in a small heap on the floor, along with her and Shepard's shoes and jackets. Shepard was shirtless underneath her, breathing calmly with a slight smile on his lips. She grinned, remembering, and kissed him lightly.

Though they hadn't made love, they'd probably had the best time that she could remember. Admittedly, it was mostly her fault they'd ended up half-naked on his bed and cuddling a bit more intimately than usual, but he'd wanted the little black dress, so he got the little black dress... and a leather jacket and combat boots. Corinthia couldn't take herself seriously dressed as Ariadne, so she added the rebellious twist. She could sum up Shepard's reaction thusly: John likey; John likey very much.

He opened his eyes slowly. "Cassie?"

She rubbed his chest. "Morning!" she answered brightly.

He smiled (another genuine one that made her shiver with pleasure) and brushed her hair over her shoulders. "I think my shirt on you is better than that dress."

Corinthia had decided against wearing that dress about half-way through their evening together and forced him to give her one of his shirts instead. He'd agreed, though she'd forced him not to look (he peeked anyway because the hero always peeks).

"Yeah, well, you are not wearing any of my clothes. That'd be just wrong."

"Agreed." He pulled her closer for another languid kiss. "I missed this," he murmured, stroking her cheek and running his fingers through her hair. "You're so beautiful in the morning."

She giggled. "With my make-up smudged, hair knotted..."

"And crud in your eyes. Exactly."

"Mmhm. And I get your beard in the morning." She rubbed her cheeks against his. "Ci-Ci likes that."

"I won't shave, then. I'll have a full beard in a week. You're going to hate it."

"If I do, it goes. Can you grow your hair out, too?"

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Please? I want to see it."

He rolled his eyes. "If I do, you're going to mess with it all. The. Time."

"As if you'd care. You like me touching you."

"True..." He kissed her throat. "And I know you like me touching you."

She bit her lip. "John..."

He stopped. "Oh... Sorry."

She rolled off him. "It's fine. Thanks, but..."

"Yeah, I know... I still don't know how we didn't... Last night."

"Yeah..." Corinthia breathed deeply. "Joker is going to give us hell for this."

"Let him."

"So's Sumi."

"She understands."

"True... And she did tell me to have fun."

"And she was probably being completely serious about that, too."

Corinthia shifted and cuddled up against his side. "I'm keeping your shirt."

"Why?"

"It smells like you."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Or you could stay in here and have the real thing."

She thought for a long moment. "Nah. This wouldn't be special otherwise."

"Not true."

"Alright, fine, but I'd be nervous about what we'd end up doing."

"You think I wouldn't be nervous if it happened, either?"

"That isn't what I meant. I meant that we wouldn't be able to... hold back."

"We did last night."

"Barely. I wanted to rip your clothes off of you—"

Shepard sat up, glaring at her. "Why didn't you?"

"Because I... Look, Shepard, I don't know how I feel about us going _there_. I want it, terribly, but I've been told it's just about the most intimate and amazing thing anyone could do to someone else and... and I love you so much... but if I lost you again... If I lost _myself_... I couldn't do that to you. To us. Not until Imreas is gone or I know that she won't do something about it, alright?"

Shepard nodded and kissed her gently. "I understand. Really, I do. I am not going to push anything on you."

She smirked. "Or in me."

He chuckled. "That's my girl. Look, if you're scared that Imreas is going to show up, you're scared that she will. Hell, I am, too. I want to keep my tongue, thanks, but she didn't show up last night, which is saying something. Fact is I'm just as... scared about it, too. Nervous. Whatever. I want it to be perfect, and if you're not going to be comfortable, it's not happening."

Corinthia wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him fiercely. "I love you, John. So much."

He laughed. "Weren't you trying to leave?"

"Kinda. Sorta. Not really."

"Well, I need a shower." He extracted himself from her grasp and got out of bed. "We're heading to Tuchanka after this. Mind telling Joker?"

"Sure thing." She stretched and started gathering her things. "Uhm... Where's my other shoe?"

"I don't know. Under the bed?"

She crawled around, searching, not particularly caring that she didn't have pants on and that his shirt wasn't quite big enough to be a dress on her. Shepard took a deep breath and quickened his pace to his bathroom. He undressed, set the temperature dial to cold, and stepped into the icy water.

* * *

><p><strong>17 June 2185—Clan Urdnot Encampment, Tuchanka, Aralakh System, Krogan DMZ<strong>

Tuchanka was exactly how Shepard had imagined it: a barren, desolate, nuclear wasteland. it was exactly what the humans had feared would happen during the mid-twentieth and early twenty-first centuries as nations battled for the ultimate detrimental power. Krogan warriors stood about, guarding the moldering walkways from the rival clans.

Next to him, Grunt looked about, unable to decide if he was enraptured or enraged by his people's homeworld. The other krogan looked down at him, their eyes narrowed in disdain. Grunt snorted. "I don't get it. They look at me like I'm a whelp."

Corintha snickered. "Well, you're a teenager. Of course they're going to glare at you. Everyone glares at teenagers because everyone hates them and doesn't understand them."

Shepard coughed, trying not to laugh.

"Are you thinking of writing poetry?" Corinthia pressed.

Grunt growled. "My blood is boiling. I don't know why. I have to do something. I have to kill something. Maybe. I don't know. I just have to... Something."

Corinthia patted his arm. "It's alright, Grunt. I bet it's just hormones. And since you krogan have four of everything, you probably get four times as many of them." She shivered. "Shepard as a teenager... Shepard as a hormonal teenager... I bet you acted exactly like Grunt, didn't you, Shep?"

"Just about, but with different kinds of itches thrown in."

Corinthia frowned. "Oh..."

He moved closer to her, whispering, "If there weren't all these krogan around, I'd give you a kiss to remind you that you're the only one I want anymore."

"I know, I know, but that doesn't mean I'm not jealous."

"I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't."

"You told me that before. Now, no more mushy stuff. We're dealing with Krogan right now, aren't we?"

"Yeah... Just don't let Imreas come out, alright? If we got into a fight with all of them, I'm not sure I could win."

"But you brought Xerxes..."

"Yes, and you wore your armor."

"That was for you."

Grunt pushed past them and plugged his ears. "Humans..."

Corinthia laughed. "You'll get used to it, Grunt."

"I don't want to. You annoy me."

"I've dealt with krogan warlords before. They're all secretly gushy on the inside."

"Not Grunt," Shepard muttered.

"Yeah, not me," Grunt echoed.

Corinthia shrugged and skipped past them.

"I don't understand," Grunt said.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"How a warrior like you ended up with a... a... her."

Shepard chuckled. "I ask myself the same questions every day. Just wait until you see her in a fight. You'll understand."

They entered the Urdnot clan camp, Tuchanka's newest capitol. In 2183, the clan had taken over from the others and had been working to unify the tribes. So far, the Urdnot had been relatively successful. The camp itself still looked like a war zone. Like the rest of the planet, it was falling apart, covered in dust, and desolate of any life except Krogan and varren. The paths were fallen beams or slabs of concrete. The Krogan glared at the three of them, muttering behind their backs as they passed. Shepard put his palm on his pistol and returned the cold gaze.

Corinthia giggled.

"What?" Shepard demanded.

"You look scarier than they do."

"Watch it," a krogan growled.

"No, you do," she snapped. "I know Wrex!"

"Hah! Weak threat."

"Oh, so he didn't tell you about me?"

The krogan advanced on her. "An annoying human whelp?"

Shepard made to step between them, but Corinthia stopped him. "I'm Commander Cass Corinthia. Ci-Ci."

"You're Ci-Ci?" The krogan laughed uproariously. "That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. And I bet that's Shepard."

Shepard nodded. "You bet your ass I am."

The krogan stopped laughing. "That I believe. Mostly. The Clan Leader's over there. You might want to talk to him before you do anything else. We don't take well to strangers."

Shepard put his hand on Corinthia's shoulder and guided her away. "Are you insane? Pick—"

"Yes."

He opened his mouth to scold her, but couldn't since her answer took him slightly aback. "That was supposed to be rhetorical."

She patted his cheek. "Oh, I know. But don't worry. I can handle myself just fine."

"I'm worried that it won't be you handling them."

"They why did you bring me out?"

"Because of how you begged."

She raised an I eyebrow. "I only said please..."

He smirked and put his arm around her waist. "Coupled with a few other gestures two nights ago."

"Huh? Oh... Oh. Oh! Right." She turned crimson. "Best not talk about that kind of thing here. We're already squishies in their eyes."

They approached a stone throne, where several elder krogan were gathered around the leader. Corinthia grinned. "Wrex!"

The leader narrowed his eyes. "Ci-Ci? Shepard?" He looked them both up and down before laughing. "Damn! You're both harder to kill than krogan!"

Shepard almost smiled. "It's good to see you, Wrex. I see you've done well for yourself."

Wrex shrugged and glared at the other krogan around him. "It is what it is. Clan Urdnot has been trying to unify the clans for the fights to come. It isn't easy. They think me weak." He smirked. "Then I crush them."

"Convert or die, huh?"

"No. We need as many krogan as we can get. I compromise. Listen. Bah. You don't want to hear this. Ci-Ci can tell you what's going on here."

Shepard glared at her. "Ci-Ci..."

"You didn't ask," she answered weakly.

"I'm asking now."

She gave Wrex a dirty look. "Two years ago, Wrex came back here and kinda took over Tuchanka. He's putting the krogan in their rightful place."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "And you approve?"

"Sure. This _is_ Wrex we're talking about. Any chance of a hug, big guy?"

Wrex snorted. "Was there ever one?"

"Aw..." She widened her eyes as much as she possibly could and looked absolutely pitiful.

Wrex looked at Shepard. "She's gotten better at that. Has it worked yet?"

"She doesn't have to do that to me to persuade me," Shepard answered, smirking.

Wrex chuckled. "The most dangerous man in the galaxy is completely whipped."

Shepard groaned. "Thanks, Wrex. Tell every krogan that and I'll have more fights than I know what to do with."

"You're already risking that, bringing a tube-born here." Wrex glared at Grunt. The young krogan returned the stare coldly, baring his teeth and growling slightly. Wrex laughed. "He's got spirit."

"Tell me about it. He threatened to snap me if I touched him!" Corinthia protested. "All I wanted to do was pat his arm reassuringly..."

"That threat still stands," Grunt hissed.

Corinthia shrugged. "Eh. Whatever. You're probably not a very good hugger, anyway."

"And Shepard is?"

She winked. "You know it."

Shepard grabbed Corinthia's arm and dragged her aside. "Mind cutting down on the giddily in love act?" he whispered.

"Embarrassed?" she asked, grinning.

"No. Alright, yes, but we're dealing with _krogan_ right now. Mushy does not go over. I will gladly make out with you in public anywhere else, but not here."

Her smile faded and she nodded soberly. "Of course, Commander."

He raised an eyebrow. "That is still you, right, Ci-Ci?"

She smirked and winked.

"Yeah. Definitely you."

Corinthia moved back to stand next to Grunt. "So, the youngling's been acting all antsy and angsty lately... Well, more than usual. I thought it was just teenage hormones, but he thinks there's something wrong with him."

Wrex looked Grunt up and down. "Wrong with him? There's nothing wrong with him. He's just coming of age. If he'd been in a clan, he'd know this already."

"So what do I have to do?" Grunt asked, trying to mask his desperation. "Find a clan? Make my own?"

"You go through a trial. It calms your blood. Shows how much you know. Proves yourself to the clan and gives you a place among them."

One of the krogan elders stepped forward. "You can't seriously be considering letting a tube-born be part of the clan!"

"If he fights with Shepard, he's worthy," Wrex snapped. "So shut up and let me rule."

Corinthia snickered. "Yeah, Shepard isn't exactly the kind of person you want to get into a fight with. He brought Xerxes."

Wrex looked at Shepard for explanation. Shepard shrugged and took out the Cain. "It's a very big gun. And her baby."

"That's the name you chose?"

"_She_ chose."

"You let her near that?"

"Not on purpose."

Corinthia held up her hands. "Look, I get it. I'm not the most responsible person when it comes to explosions. But my aim's improved. Promise."

Wrex pointed at her. "I'm going to let Grunt go through the ritual, but she can't be a part of it."

"Why not?" Shepard demanded.

"Because she'll destroy everything in sight."

"Isn't that kinda the state of the planet as it is?" Shepard answered snidely.

"She'd create another nuclear winter. The only reason nothing bad happened on Virmire was because she was unconscious for most of it."

"Hey, I resent that statement!" Corinthia protested.

"It's done," Shepard said. "Besides, I have a feeling I couldn't use you on this mission, anyway."

"What? Why?"

"Because it's a krogan test. They fight like me."

"Oh... Oh. Yeah. You're right. I'll just go back to the _Normandy_, then, shall I?"

"Nah. Just call in... Uh..."

"Thane? Zaeed? Mordin? Jacob? Miranda? Sumi? Garrus?"

"You don't need to list them off!" Shepard growled. "Garrus."

Corinthia stepped away to hail the _Normandy_. Wrex nodded. "So the turian's still kicking?"

"Yeah, but he got himself as fucked up as Ci-Ci on Elysium."

"Damn... he's one tough bastard."

"That he is."

Wrex snapped his fingers and pointed to one of the krogan elders. "Take Grunt to the shaman. Have the ritual explained to him. Everyone else, go away. I want to talk to Shepard alone."

The krogan muttered and filed off. Wrex glared after them and then sighed. "Damned fools don't know what the hell they're doing."

Shepard shrugged. "It happens. So, how about you?"

"Got a lot of good advice from Ci-Ci. She's one hell of a smart kid."

"I know..." Shepard glanced at her.

"She's slippery, too. More than most anyone I know except you. Escaping death..."

"I didn't," Shepard said softly. "She just faked hers."

"And got one hell of a lot of enemies off her back. If I wasn't fighting here, I would've been fighting with her."

"She asked for your help?"

"She asked everyone for help. Tali had to go back to the Flotilla, Alenko was assigned half-way across the galaxy, and Garrus was training to be a Spectre. So far as I know, Liara and Anderson were the only ones to help her out. Then she just disappeared. What happened to her?"

Shepard smirked. "She became an art dealer and an artist."

Wrex blinked. "Seriously? Her? Hah!" He laughed uproariously. "I know she was girly, but that?"

"That isn't the word I'd pick..."

Wrex snickered. "Is that so? Well, you're worse now than you were then."

"Yeah. And it's only been a couple months... for me, at least. I only came back in April."

"That's good. You didn't want to see her before. I know that humans are weak, but you two aren't and she looked like she was about to roll over and die."

"Let's not talk about that. Please. What exactly am I supposed to do with Grunt?"

* * *

><p><strong>12 hours later...<strong>

Shepard stormed back into the camp, a very pleased-looking Grunt and a battered Garrus just behind him. Aside from the fact that his armor was still smoking, Shepard was mostly intact except for the usual scratches, burns, and bloody grime on his face.

He went up to Wrex. "A FUCKING THRESHER MAW?" he shouted.

Wrex smiled. "And you killed it. Damn, Shepard. You are good. And so's that whelp." The krogan stood, putting his hand on Grunt's shoulder. "Welcome to the clan."

Grunt nodded, trying not to look as satisfied as he felt.

Shepard shook his head. "So that's it?"

"Pretty much. Just don't get him killed. Then we'd have to come and kill you."

"Bring it on. I just slaughtered some krogan pussies."

Wrex snorted. "Cowards and weaklings. You've done me a favor."

"Good."

"Good."

Shepard glanced around. "Where's Ci-Ci?"

Her maniacal laughtere echoed throughout the area. Wrex winced. "She's been killing pyjaks for the last four hours."

"What?"

"She called them 'space monkeys'."

"Oh, those damned things. You were there when we were hunting down that data module, weren't you?'

"That was me, Shepard," Garrus said, raising a hand. "I remember that you wanted her to run them over with the Mako."

"And she wouldn't."

"Until you distracted her. I lost a hundred credits from those three pyjaks you made her hit."

Shepard shrugged innocently. "What can I say? I'm just a naughty boy."

"Does she know it yet?"

Shepard's eyes glinted dangerously. "Not yet."

"HELL YEAH!" Corinthia shouted. "TAKE THAT YOU DAMNED SPACE MONKEY THINGIES!"

Shepard rubbed his eyes. "Her cursing could use some practice."

"At least she's getting rid of the pyjaks. They've been annoying the hell out of us for the last six months," Wrex continued.

"So you told Ci-Ci to get rid of them?"

"No. She decided to do that all on her own after one tried to bite her."

Shepard rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Note to self: Don't bite her unless she asks for it. Or wants it and doesn't know it."

Wrex and Garrus rolled their eyes. "Humans..."

Shepard spread his arms out, feigning innocence. "What?"

"Just ask her to live with you already," Garrus answered. "The sexual tension is killing the crew. Do you have any idea what those Cerberus people talk about? It's you two all the damned time. And they're not discrete like the first _Normandy's_ crew was. They want to know what your favorite positions are and all this other stuff."

"And this is a problem why?"

"Because we aren't doing the dirty?" Corinthia offered, popping up like a prairie dog.

Garrus shouted in surprise and jumped away. "Damn it, Ci-Ci!"

Shepard laughed. "Serves you right!"

Corinthia smiled. "It's alright, Gary."

"DON'T call me that," Garrus warned. "I've got a sniper rifle, you know."

Corinthia snorted and crossed her arms. "And I've got a Shepard. Your argument is invalid."

Wrex nodded. "She's right."

Shepard held up his hands. "No more arguing. Ci-Ci, you've destroyed enough things for today."

"I know. But those space monkeys… They're coming back. I can feel it in my blood," she finished dramatically, narrowing her eyes and looking around like someone out of an old black and white detective movie. "I can feel their eyes, watching me."

"Yeah, and you hate all the attention," Shepard answered sarcastically.

She grinned. "You know it. Oh, Mordin radioed seventeen times. He says it's urgent."

"And you didn't deal with it?"

"Well, I know what he thinks is urgent and it usually isn't."

Shepard groaned. "It's probably another errand…"

"They're paying off, though," Corinthia assured him, patting his arm. "Randy's completely civil, Garrus is calm, Kasumi is finally talking to Jacob instead of stalking him all the time…"

"They had a conversation? When?"

"When we were busy with each other."

"Oh…" He cocked his head to one side. "Why aren't you blushing furiously?"

"I dunno… Because it's a given that we're physical….. ish."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Sure. Garrus, mind grabbing Mordin?"

"Not at all, Commander," the turian answered. "Wrex, it was good to see you again."

"Garrus," Wrex replied, watching the turian leave. "He's lost that pole up his ass."

"Something like that," Corinthia answered. "Oh! Shep! I have to show you something! They've got the coolest armor upgrades…" She grabbed Shepard's hand. He could only offer Wrex an apologetic look before she dragged him to a small shop.

A fierce-looking krogan leaned against his stall, a varren sitting morosely at his heels. "Back again, Ci-Ci?"

"Mmhm. No more space monkeys," she answered cheerfully.

"I saw. Now we've got a shitload of pyjak meat to move." The krogan shook his head and Corinthia picked up a piece and offered it to the varren. The 'reptilian doggie thingy' (to quote Ci-Ci) sniffed the meat and then gently took it from her hand. She grinned and started patting its head. "Who's a cute varren? Yes, you are!"

Shepard rubbed his eyes. "And she won a Star of Terra…"

"So did you," she answered.

"I don't sound like an idiot."

"I'm going to put a baby in your arms and then we'll see."

Shepard smirked. "So long as it's my kid with you."

"Later. Much later. Years later."

He shrugged. "You never know."

She wagged a finger scoldingly. "Kill the Reapers first. Sexy time with Ci-Ci after."

"Damn it…"

The varren rubbed his head against Corinthia. The krogan chuckled. "I think it likes you. About time it imprinted on someone else. Ever since its master got killed, it's been sitting here whining."

Corinthia's smile widened and she looked at Shepard eagerly.

"No," he said sternly. "It is not coming with us."

"But—"

"Jack would murder it on sight."

"Oh… But I can't just leave it here…"

Shepard knew where the conversation was going (and she had a particularly adorable look on her face). "Fine. It can stay in my room. But you're taking care of it, alright?"

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

He disentangled himself from her. "And I bet you've already got a name."

"Rufus," she answered immediately. The varren perked up and cocked his head to one side. "Hah! He knows his name!"

Shepard turned his gaze to the heavens. "What have I done?"

Before Shepard could question it more, Mordin arrived. "Shepard. Must talk. In private. Urgent matter. Regarding former student."

Shepard nodded and moved aside with the salarian. The krogan vendor shuddered. "I don't like that guy."

"He's not so bad," Corinthia said, shrugging. "But I get why you wouldn't like him."

"Damned salarians... giving us the genophage."

Corinthia blushed a little. Though Shepard (nor many others, for that matter) knew it, Mordin had been part of a team to re-deploy the genophage, as krogan had evolved to overcome it. Corinthia only knew because of she'd been bored whilst in school and practiced her hacking skills, but she'd kept it secret. She could only imagine that was what Mordin was telling Shepard and, from the look on the Commander's face, he was not liking it.

He returned a moment later. "Get Rufus onto the _Normandy_ and tell Miranda to come."

"Miranda?" Corinthia repeated.

"Trust me."

"Alright... C'mon, Rufus." She patted her thigh and the varren fell into step.

Shepard glanced at Mordin. "I hope you're right about this, Professor. Rescue missions are just elaborate traps in my experience."

Mordin stroked his chin. "Should be. Calculated all outcomes. No other option.

Shepard nodded. "I hope you're right."

* * *

><p><strong>18 Hours later...<strong>

Shepard wearily walked towards the _Normandy. _EDI radioed in. "Commander, the krogan wish you to know that they highly value Grunt. There have been nearly twenty breeding requests for him so far."

Shepard sighed. "Great. Someone else to keep alive..."

"There is more. There seem to have been two for you as well."

Miranda smiled. "How much do you want to be Ci-Ci was behind those?"

"I'd be the first to know if she requested breeding," Shepard answered. "You also wouldn't see me for a week."

"Everyone needs to relax every once in a while."

"Can you tell her that? Please?"

Moridin nodded. "Will convey message. Human intercourse stimulating. Eases tension. Can provide useful videos."

"NO!" Shepard barked. "I don't need or want your help in that department."

"Understood, Commander. Simply trying to be useful. Ci-Ci is a virgin. Can be painful. Tips to ease the**—"**

"Shut up before I shut you up," Shepard growled, getting into the shuttle.

The ride back to the _Normandy_ was near silent, but they entered the cargo hold and a near riot.

Rufus was running around, chasing Kasumi, whose omni-tool had been set to squeak whenever she moved. Corinthia and Jacob were falling over with laughter as Rufus attempted to bit Kasumi's arm.

"This isn't funny, Ci-Ci!" Kasumi screeched.

"It's pay-back for all you're spying," Jacob answered, pounding fists with Corinthia.

"His idea," Corinthia added. "I'm just the handyman. Woman. Whatever. Shep! You're back! How did it go?"

He shook his head darkly. "You didn't tell me he was responsible for the genophage."

"You never—"

"Stop it with that. I don't want to hear it."

"It's not my place to tell and you know it. I don't go telling people your past—the one that isn't in the files—because you don't deserve that. People need to trust you enough to tell you that on their own. And he did."

"If you can call it that..."

"Did he Illusive Man you?"

"Pretty much."

"Wow... I'm sorry."

Shepard shook his head. "I need to sleep. This forty-eight hour shit is killing me..."

Corinthia looped her arm in his. "You aren't allowed to die again, you know."

"Yeah, I know." He leaned on her wearily, staggering as Rufus bumped into him. "That thing really is attached to you, isn't it?"

"And you. Well, by default."

"Why?"

"We are a royal we, aren't we?"

"I guess... I just want to sleep, alright? I've killed thresher maw, dealt with more damned krogan than I care to count, and I don't think I could stand to talk to the Illusive Man."

"I'll do it," Miranda offered. "He prefers dealing with me, anyway."

"Thanks, Randy."

"You're welcome, Sheppy."

Corinthia snickered. "Careful, Miranda, or he'll bite your head off."

"It's only fair," Miranda answered. "Only you can call me Randy and get away with it."

"I give you permission to think up a terrible nickname for me, too."

Miranda smirked deviously. "Ginny."

Corinthia shivered. "Oh, that's good... and terrible. I hate you so much right now."

"Do you want me to call you Iphigenia instead?"

"NO! I mean, no, thanks, Ginny's just fine. Shep, we're going to bed."

"We?" he repeated, bemused.

"We are a royal we, aren't we?" she mocked. "Besides, you're in a better mood if we cuddle a bit."

He nuzzled her cheek, almost drunkenly. "You're the best..."

"Any sappier and you're getting a smack," she warned. "Unless it's the three magic words."

"Rainbows and unicorns?"

"As magical as they are, no. Try again."

He kissed her cheek. "I'll tell you that all you want when we're alone. I'm not _that_ tired."

She jammed her finger repeatedly against the elevator button. "Move faster..."

Shepard grinned. "That's what she said."

She looked at him in shock. "Oh my God..."

"And that, too."

"Who are you and what have you done with Shepard?"

"And that."

She rolled her eyes. "And now we've switched places."

Shepard smirked.

"You're so going to get it."

His grin widened.

"And you thought _I _had a dirty mind," Corinthia said, putting her hands on her hips.

"You're only making it worse for yourself."

"Because apparently neither of us is ever satisfied."

"It's only because you're that good."

"And don't know when to stop."

"Or can't stop."

The elevator doors opened. "Thank God..." Corinthia groaned. She held up a hand. "Don't say it. I know."


	48. Unrevised: Haestrom

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine. _

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback! _

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>3 July 2185—Haestrom, Dholen System, Far Rim<strong>

Tali couldn't believe her ears. She triple checked her radio connection, but she'd heard rightly. "Shepard! You don't know how glad I am to hear your voice."

She had been stuck on the planet for far too long. The radiation was so intense that it could burn through shields in twenty seconds. She had come with a crew of quarians to gather and recover data on the geth, but they had found something much worse: the planet's sun was dying at an unnatural rate.

"Mind telling me what kind of shit you've gotten yourself into now?" Shepard demanded irately as he ducked into cover. "This fucking sun is burning my skin off and the geth are trying to blow my balls off."

Tali sighed. "It's... complicated. I'll explain everything later."

"Now you sound like Ci-Ci..."

"When would she have said that to you?"

"Last month."

Tali gaped. "She's alive? Is she with you?"

"Well, physically..."

Next to him, Imreas was spread prone and picking off geth with single shots. As much as he missed Ci-Ci, Imreas was a much better fighter (or, at least, a more efficient and ruthless one). Admittedly, he missed Corinthia's amusing commentary — things such as "Die, squishy, die! I told you to die... Why aren't you dying? Oh, wait, there it goes... Ooh. Explosion,", her song "Ha ha you're dead! And I'm so happy! In loving memory of your demise! When you're ship is going down, I'll go out and—Alright, Shep, I'll shut up now," her usual finish for something strange "Down with you, evil baddie thingy!" or (his personal favorite, which had a dance to go with it) "Hah! I win! Ah am eenveenceeble! Nyah-nuh nyah-nuh boo boo! Stick your head in doo doo!"

The geth garbled as she took off their heads. Imreas's lips twitched into something of a half-smirk and she looked to Shepard, nodding.

Shepard turned back to his radio. "Ci-Ci says 'hi,'" he finished weakly.

Tali raised her eyebrows. "And that's all she has to say to me?"

"For now? Yes. We aren't exactly in a bar."

Tali jumped as the area around her shook. Rubble dripped off the walls. "Please hurry, Shepard. There isn't much time."

"I'm working on it," he growled. "Just don't move from wherever you are."

"You can count on that."

* * *

><p>Tali breathed a sigh of relief when Shepard, Garrus, and Corinthia walked in. "You don't know how glad I am to see you," the quarian said, her envirosuit's voice processor still giving her the slightly Russian accent. If they had been able to see through her suit, the would've seen her smile.<p>

Shepard raised an eyebrow, trying not to yell. He needed Tali's help (though she hadn't really been able to give it during the mission to recruit her), but for some damned reason the geth ALWAYS tried to kill him and he hated it with every fiber of his being.

Tali shuffled her feet. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you more, Shepard, but I had to finish my work."

Shepard sighed. "It's fine, Tali. You're alive, but now you owe me. Twice. Or have you forgotten about Freedom's Progress?"

"Of course not." Tali's eyes flicked to Garrus and Corinthia. Her heart leapt a little. "Are you still with Cerberus?"

"Unfortunately."

Tali blinked and rounded on Corinthia. "And you _let_ him?"

Imreas didn't move.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tali demanded.

Shepard frowned. "I'm not sure how to tell you this..."

Garrus rolled his eyes. "Tali, this isn't Ci-Ci. It's Imreas. That _is_ what we're calling her, now, isn't it, Shepard?"

The Commander nodded. "Yeah... Ci-Ci'll be back by the time we get to the _Normandy_."

"I don't understand," Tali murmured.

"I'll let Ci-Ci explain." Shepard held out his hand for Tali to shake."It's still good to see a friendly face, Tali."

She looked at him uncertainly for a long moment. Shepard had been nothing short of an asshole to her on Freedom's Progress, even if he had refused to follow Cerberus's orders to take one of her quarian companions into custody. Now, though, his eyes weren't blazing. He wasn't hurting from finding out about Corinthia's death. He'd clearly calmed and seemed more like himself, considering his armor was charred from electric burns and dented from bullet shots (though, unfortunately, sans the blood spatter that came from fighting organics). Then again, simply having Garrus and Corinthia — or Imreas, whatever she was called — at his side helped the perception that he was as normal as he could possibly be.

Finally, she shook his hand. "And it is good to see you, too, Shepard. I have missed the _Normandy_."

"It isn't the same one."

"Is Joker still the pilot?"

"Yes, though I'm still not sure if that's a good or bad thing."

"Then it's home," Tali said, smiling beneath her envirosuit.

"You have permission to yell and scream at me all you want for working with those Cerberus bastards, but I don't have a choice right now. I couldn't let the Alliance send me after the geth again. I might die."

Corinthia snorted. "Yeah, like hell I'd let you do that again."

Shepard blinked. "What the... Don't tell me you were faking..."

"I wasn't," Corinthia answered. "Apparently the danger's passed."

"And you aren't confused as to where you are?"

"She explained. Apparently I killed a geth Colossus with Xerxes."

"Yeah... You did. I was disappointed that you didn't giggle maniacally."

"Want me to do it now?"

"No."

Tali looked between them. "I'm confused... What is happening?"

"Since everyone else knows," Corinthia began, "quick recap: I was on a Reaper too long and almost got indoctrinated. I developed a second personality a la Shepard's badassery to counteract that. Imreas surfaces whenever I'm in severe danger."

"That is not comforting," Tali muttered.

Corinthia hugged the quarian. "That better? It's still me, the squishy funky funny Ci-Ci!"

Tali groaned. "It is definitely you... Though your jokes haven't gotten any better."

"How was that a joke? Oh, wait, the rhyming... Got it."

Garrus touched his earpiece. "Hey, Joker, get the shuttle over here now. If this planet's radiation wasn't enough, Ci-Ci is making my brain fry."

"Make that an order," Shepard added.

"It's gonna be a minute," Joker answered. "The Illusive Man's been calling nonstop for you for the last three hours."

"Seriously?"

"Apparently he found out about Ci-Ci's 'problem'. I _told_ you he had my baby bugged."

"I'll have Ci-Ci track them down. Just get rid of him for now and I might even explain what's happening."

Corinthia perked up. "Hm? Talking about me?"

"That's what he usually did," Tali mused. "Or stare at you."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? When?"

"...Always?" Tali answered, more as a question because the answer was so obvious.

"Really? I had no idea... I mean, I know that he does when I'm in my dresses, but then again that's because he's still not used to it at all."

"You? In a dress?" Tali laughed. "I still do not understand human fashion, but having seen others in dresses, that does not sound like you at all."

"Well, I thought the same thing until six months ago. Then I had to change."

"You died."

"Yeah, that does rather force changes. My hair's long, too."

Tali cocked her head to one side. "Isn't that just the natural progression of human aging?"

"Yes, though that isn't how I'd put it... Let's just say that I'm not so much of a warrior-woman Amazon soldier chick anymore."

"I thought chickens were a human euphemism for cowards," Tali murmured.

"And for the popular cheerleaders," Corinthia added, grinning.

Garrus chuckled. "Don't let Jack hear you say that, Ci-Ci, or else you'll have her as an enemy, too."

Corinthia snickered. "Jack and I get along just fine. Wait... Have I ever actually interacted with her?"

"Who's Jack?" Tali asked.

"You know how you thought I was insane for the longest time?" Corinthia asked.

"Yes..."

"I'm not — okay, well, I actually am, but it's obvious now because I'm schitzophrenic and split personality, but Jack is just sadistic. She makes SHEPARD look like a big-eyed adorable puppy." Corinthia gestured to Shepard.

"And she's talking about me when we last met, Tali," Shepard added darkly.

Tali shivered. "I am not looking forward to meeting her..."

"You're going to if you stay in the engine rooms," Corinthia mused, "so you're going to run into her before long. You also get Gabbi and Ken."

"They banter like Ci-Ci and Shepard did before they knew they liked each other," Garrus muttered. "It's funny, when you're playing that damned human card game —"

"Poker," Shepard and Corinthia said in unison.

"Yeah, that one," Garrus continued. "It's funny when they're playing that, but otherwise it's just a headache."

"I always thought it was adorable," Tali answered.

"The difference was that Shep and I figured it out," Corinthia added, "and that we actually knew we harbored affections for the other, even if we didn't know if it was reciprocated identically. Okay, that was way too technical, but Gabbi and Ken haven't even got the slightest idea that they should like each other."

"Like us before Akuze," Shepard muttered.

"I liked you from the get-go, Johnny."

He rolled his eyes. She hadn't used that nickname for him in years and years, since they'd been forbidden by regs to be on a first-name basis and she preferred "Shep", anyway. The one time she had used it happened to be in front of a particularly angry drill sergeant who, not knowing she was lieutenant (which meant outranked him, being a commissioned officer, despite the fact he had a good ten years more experience than she), yelled at her for five minutes. In response, she respectfully explained that she and Shepard were the same rank and, as marines, they were allowed to refer to one another by their fist names when off duty, as they had been. Though she was right, she never used his first name unless she was feeling serious about something. It made him wonder what would happen when he married her (assuming she took his last name), because they'd both technically be Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy.

"To think we could've had years instead of four and a half months..."

Corinthia brightened. "You mean you actually remembered the date?"

"Of course."

She blushed. "I'd kinda forgotten... I mean, I remember where it happened and all..."

"It's alright. Just remember May twentieth."

"Two weeks after my half-birthday... Well, thirteen days. Hm... May Day for Shep-pay is on the twen-tay. Excellent! Monomer is now in my head..."

"Don't you mean 'mnemonic device'?" Shepard answered.

"Oh, yes, right. I always want to say pneumonic, but that's talking about pneumonia... But this discussing is turning into Greek too quickly. Where's Joker? Shouldn't he be here with the Bear by now?"

"Bear?" Tali asked. "She really has lost her mind..."

"We have a Kodiak shuttle," Garrus explained. "So, as with everything, Ci-Ci has re-christened it."

"She never did that with me..."

"Your name already ends with 'ee'. Don't ask for the list. It'll make me sick..."

Corinthia shuffled her feet. "I'm sorry. I had no idea it was so annoying..."

Shepard put a hand on her shoulder. "It isn't. It's hilarious to see Miranda get pissed when you call her 'Randy'."

"Don't expect me to start calling Jack 'Jackie', though," Corinthia answered darkly.

"I think you'd only do that if you had a death wish."

"If I'd known her a year and a half ago..."

"I was kidding."

"Me too. Kinda. Sorta. Not really... Whatever."

Shepard narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"Uh... Sorry. Long story. I think you understand."

"No, I don't. You aren't the type to—"

"We'll talk about this later," she hissed.

Despite the somber tone, Tali was snickering. "I told you, Garrus. They are perfect for each other."

"That was never a question," the turian answered, crossing his arms. "It's if they'll destroy the galaxy with their interactions before or after they save it."

* * *

><p><strong>4 July 2185—Unknown Location, Milky Way<strong>

The Illusive Man stubbed out his fourth cigarette and lit a fifth. Shepard was changing from a mere annoyance to a thorn in his side. The Cerberus leader had never, ever had someone so obstinate and stubborn to deal with. Though Shepard was, technically, doing everything that he was asked, ever since the arrival of Corinthia aboard, the Commander had been (literally) giving the Illusive Man the finger and walking out of the transmission. Worse, Miranda seemed to be warming to Shepard's cause. Her loyalty still seemed to be rooted with the humanitarian group, but Shepard's ironic charisma (after all, a man like him was not supposed to be liked) was quickly winning over the former Ice Queen.

Despite all the setbacks (mostly from Shepard's rebellious personality), the worst part of everything was that it seemed like Shepard was going to win — not just the battles, but the loyalty and respect of the crew, his squad, and the galaxy — and note one drop or credit was going to go to the people that brought him back to life. The word "ungrateful" came to mind, especially since the Illusive man had led Shepard back to Corinthia and given him the whereabouts of his former crew members. Shepard just didn't understand what it took to find them, how much money had to pass hands to get them to even consider working with their former enemies. The only ones there gratis were Thane Krios, Garrus Vakarian, and Corinthia — and she was her own set of problems.

The Illusive Man was not to stupid as to leave his investment unwatched. Miranda, though near perfect, was still only human (as she was quickly proving) and any computer, no matter how intelligent, could fail, especially when it started thinking for itself as EDI was capable of. The _Normandy_ was bugged so intensely that the Illusive Man could see and hear everything that transpired aboard. That was how he liked it. Considering how little Shepard told anyone, it was the only way the Illusive Man could know what was happening aboard his ship.

Corinthia was nothing short of a genius when it came to an omni-tool. She had programmed it to send out a near-constant jamming signal that disrupted any bugs within a certain radius of her. She had probably done it to protect her identity as Ariadne, and it had worked until Shepard announced to his squad what was happening with her. One Shepard was bad enough, but this... Imreas seemed to be a clone of the Commander's bad side. Perhaps the only benefit was that Shepard spent nearly no time yelling at the Illusive Man and all his time with Corinthia in his quarters, leaving the Cerberus leader to do as he pleased.

However, something had to be said. There were options to... help her. Cerberus was about to extend yet another olive branch to the Commander and only God knew if he'd accept.

Shepard's hologram opened. As usual, he looked impatient and annoyed with being there.

"What the hell do you want?" he growled.

The Illusive Man took a drag from his cigarette. "I've heard about Ci-Ci's condition. I'd like to help."

"Miranda and Mordin are already working on it."

"They have limited resources. I don't."

Shepard gritted his teeth. The Illusive Man had an angle. He always did. Still, if it meant having a whole Corinthia, Shepard was willing to do almost anything. "I'm listening."

The Illusive Man hid his shock. He'd expected at least three minutes of yelling before Shepard consented to listen to the plan. "Cerberus has been aware of the indoctrination process for quite some time. I only recently became aware of her condition, however, and I think we have enough information to help her."

"You've said that. Get to the point."

The Illusive Man almost smirked. After one moment of shining consideration, Shepard was back to normal. "We've been studying the effects of the Reapers on the human mind."

"You mean experimenting on people," Shepard snapped.

"Not intentionally," the Illusive Man half-lied. The initial studies into indoctrination were reactionary to a investigation gone wrong aboard a Reaper. Shepard was going to be following up that research soon, but it wasn't the right time just yet. The Illusive Man had expected the team to be corrupted by the Reaper's presence, though, so it was a calculated risk. "Few minds are able to withstand extensive time in a Reaper."

"I know this already," Shepard hissed. "I killed Saren, didn't I? My best friend is proof, too, so what the fuck can you do about it?"

"Investigate deeper. Give me access to her omni-tool and I can recall the events that made her how she is now. From there, I —"

"Fuck you!" Shepard shouted. "Like hell I'm going to do that! If you want to help, find a shrink that can get Imreas to talk or merge back with her or something. You aren't getting any information from her, not if I can help it. You know everything, anyway. Don't talk to me unless you actually have a solution. Or, better yet, don't talk to me at all and just tell Miranda whatever the hell you want to tell me."

"You owe me, Commander."

"I owe you shit."

"I found Ci-Ci—"

"And Kasumi already knew where she was. You may have gotten me breathing again, but you aren't pulling my strings, not anymore. The only reason I haven't come to kill you yet is because we happen to be fighting on the same side. Mess with my personal affairs and I will find you. So, don't bother contacting me unless you've got another convoluted set-up of a goddamn mission for me."

Shepard ended the transmission.

The Illusive Man finished the rest of his cigarette in one drag. Though angry, he was still calm. He had hoped to gain access to the valuable hoard of information Corinthia held, but it wasn't to be. Shepard had seen through that in a second. For a thug, he was much more intelligent than the stories let on. The Illusive Man had always assumed that Corinthia was the brains, and though she was in a technical sense, Shepard had the instincts of someone ten-times as seasoned and wise as she.

Something drastic was going to have to happen to keep the Commander's loyalty. The Illusive Man just needed time to think of what.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard's Quarters, <em>SSV Normandy SR-2<em>, en route to the Citadel**

Shepard fell back onto his bed, closing his eyes with a groan. He'd finally finished recruiting everyone the Illusive Man had suggested, but now they all had their own errands to run. Since he'd agreed to help some of them already, he felt obligated to help the others.

"Damn it, Ci-Ci, you're making me go soft," he muttered.

"That's what he said?" she asked from the doorway, trying desperately not to snicker.

He glanced up. "Don't you knock?"

"You rather implied that your room is mine, too, last time," she answered, winking. She hopped onto the bed, landing with her feet on his pillows and her knees by his shoulders. She leaned over and kissed him cheerfully. "Want me to leave?"

Seeing her upside-down was making him go cross-eyed, but he didn't care. "You already know that answer."

"Ooh, the hard-ass is a total sap."

"This coming from the pretty-pretty princess."

She shrugged comically. "At least I don't have a pink dress. Seriously, every one of them wears pink at some point..."

"I think it's part of being a girl. I'd die if I had to wear pink."

"Damn it. I'll have to return your Christmas sweater, then..."

All her cheerfulness couldn't distract him. "Imreas is going to go away, right?"

Corinthia stopped smiling. She brushed her hair over her shoulders and shook her head, sending the locks back to where they started. "She said that she won't stay. That she shouldn't have to, with you around. It's gotten better. I was actually conscious for most of the last mission on Haestrom, you know? I can tell when she's coming and she doesn't leave me in the lurch when she leaves..."

"She can talk?"

"To me, yeah. She talks to drown out the Reapers. It's working. Everything's becoming muffled and turning into white noise."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"I think so... I don't have things whispering to me to choke you or shoot you in the stomach anymore."

"Wait... Seriously?"

"I wish I was lying..."

He raised an eyebrow. "You're more fucked up than I am..."

"I think the phrase 'Class A Fuck-Ups' applies to most soldiers, you know." She stroked his facial scars, the sensation making him close his eyes in pleasure. "Your scars are healing."

"I noticed. A few more weeks and they'll be gone completely."

"Dr. Chakwas said they'd been getting worse before."

He shrugged. "Whatever."

"I'll miss them. I like the whole orange glow thing. It was a nightlight."

He raised an eyebrow. "You already practically choke me when you decide to hug me in your sleep. I don't think you need a nightlight."

She shivered. "That whole experience on the Reaper made me afraid of the dark again, just because whenever I closed my eyes, I'd..." She shook her head quickly and put on a smile. "But I'm complaining. I have you and I know that I'm safe."

"But after losing me, you're afraid you'll wake up and discover it was just another dream," he murmured, feeling his own stomach drop in fear. He knew she was real (after all, the hell he endured had to be a reality and only in Hell would he not have her beside him... or her there with someone else), but the likelihood of either of them making it much past thirty was dwindling by the day. He was even considering going back on his promise to himself not to have her until they were engaged, but Imreas had ruined everything. He wasn't one to particularly care about risks, but that was in business, not his heart.

Corinthia kissed him again, caressing his cheeks and chin like she'd read his thoughts. She bit her lips before whispering, "Do you think we'll make it alive?"

He sighed and sat up, putting his head in his hands. "I don't know."

She crawled to him and rubbed his back, kissing the nape of his neck. "Is there anything I can do?"

He shook his head, resting his hand on her arms as she embraced him from behind and rested her chin on his shoulder. "Nothing comes to mind other than to get rid of Imreas, get better, and keep kicking ass."

"I can handle that last part... The others, though..." She closed her eyes. "She says that she'll go when I don't need her anymore. That she doesn't want control and that she exists as a contingency measure. For how much she comes out, I must either be really pathetic at fighting now or the danger we're facing's increased exponentially."

"I'm betting the latter. You're better than you ever were, Cassie."

She blushed. "No I'm not. Imreas is."

He smirked. "Well, you kiss better than you used to."

"Practice makes perfect."

His insides seethed with jealousy. "Who?"

"Huh?"

"Who did you practice with?"

"You!" she answered quickly, retreating. She turned crimson and toyed with her hair. "...And my pillow..."

He relaxed and laughed.

"I mean, I missed you so much, and I couldn't even start to think of anyone else. I kept wondering what would've happened if I'd been there of if we got another chance..."

He reached back, wrapped an arm around her waist, and pulled him onto his lap. "We have it, now. I'm not going to fuck it up."

She snickered. "That's my fault. I'm a total prude."

He raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't even make sense. About the transition, I mean. I know that your clothes stay on. Well, most of them..."

"I... I actually don't even remember what I was thinking. The moment's gone. I made a bad joke. I is sorry."

He shuddered and pointed a finger to her face. "Don't EVER do that again."

"Sorry, sir. It won't happen again." She saluted, whacking him in the cheekbone. "Oh my God! John, I'm so sorry! Here, let me kiss it and make it better."

He tried to wave her off, only to hit her as well. "Cassie! Shit... I'm sorry..."

She giggled, rubbing her smarting ear. "It's only fair. I'm a klutz."

He leaned in, lips brushing her earlobe. "You mentioned something about making it better?"

She flushed and bit her lip. "Something like that..."

He kissed her ear lightly. She shivered with pleasure. He took a deep breath and drew away before he lost control of himself. She frowned, pouting like a child whose candy had been stolen. He chuckled and kissed her forehead, running his fingers through her hair. "Feel better?"

"Deprived," she answered sulkily.

"Like you said, you're the abstinent one. Not that I've hooked up with anyone since we've been together, but you already know that I'm not that kind of guy. I'm not going to push it, either. God knows I want to, but I'm not. Chastity is a virtue... A fucking annoying one, but definitely the prudent thing right now." He let out a slow breath. "Damned wisdom... Why the hell did you have to make me get some? I liked being brazenly headstrong and getting what I wanted when I wanted."

"You'd rather we lived by carpe diem?" Corinthia answered, raising an eyebrow.

"Only sometimes and it's always your fault. We can't afford to be that reckless."

"I know..."

He sighed. "I bet we're the only couple that thinks our lives are too dangerous to sleep together."

She thought for a moment. "You know, you're probably right. Now I feel like a jerk..."

"You aren't. It's just hard — Stop laughing. Now. Oh, damn it, Ci-Ci, you're not making this any easier — Argh! Don't say it! I know already!"

She fell back onto the bed in a fit of laughter, holding her stomach and rolling around. She even kicked a few times for good measure. "I love you, John."

He caught one of her wrists and kissed her palm, smiling softly. He felt stupid saying, 'I love you' back, and even though it was true, he still couldn't bring himself to sound so idiotic. There had to be a more creative way to answer, and she'd be the one to think of one.

Even so, she clearly understood what he wasn't saying, because she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down into a kiss that assuaged any and all his fears about her and surviving the ordeal, but gave him another about being able to hold himself back until they'd won.


	49. Unrevised: A Father

**Disclaimer: **Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine.

I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!

Thank you for reading. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>7 July 2185—Docks, Zakera Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Shepard pulled Corinthia back to him, giving her another deep kiss. She giggled. "Honestly, John! I have to go to the Gallery!"

He locked her arms behind back by her wrists, pressing his lips against hers again. "Until you start talking like Ariadne, you're mine, maggot," he growled.

Corinthia stopped struggling and drank in the kiss. "Maggot, is it? You aren't a drill sergeant."

"I outrank you."

"Only by years in service."

"Still..."

"We are NOT role playing."

"How about this? You're mine, beautiful."

She smiled and kissed him lightly. "That works."

Thane chuckled. As much as he missed his wife and family, it was good to see love in the worst of times. Shepard and Corinthia usually didn't wrestle in such a way in public, but neither was particularly willing to leave the other. Shepard was afraid to lose her, and she him. Thane felt himself drifting into solipsism as he remembered his times with his own wife.

"Irikah comes towards me, sunset eyes sparkling. Lips twitch into a smile. I shiver in anticipation. Her fingers slid along my chest. Her lips press against mine..."

Corinthia touched his arm. "Thane, you're drifting away."

Thane closed his eyes and hung his head. "Forgive me. I was remembering."

"I know." She kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand. "I'll keep Shepard off me, if it's painful..."

Thane's eyelids fluttered a little. "It is quite alright, Cassiopeia. You should enjoy one another while you can. You should not have regrets, as I do." He patted her shoulder and stepped ahead of them.

Shepard was used to Corinthia being affectionate with people (hell, she'd even managed to kiss Wrex's cheek, once), but his jealousy still reared a little. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her again, running his fingers through her hair.

Her cheeks flushed a little. "Don't be jealous, Shep..."

"You should know better than to taunt me like that."

She shook her head. "You aren't going to lose me. I had two years to get with Thane, if I wanted to. I didn't, now, did I? I didn't get with anyone, and believe me I had opportunities."

"As I learned at Hock's party. Ah, it was great to see Kasumi kill that bastard..."

"Just because he hit on me doesn't make him a jerk."

"He was an asshole anyway."

She glanced towards the elevator to the Presidium. "I do really have to go, now," she said sadly. "I've got all sorts of things I have to do..."

"Yeah, me too..." He glanced at Thane. "I'm not sure I'm cut out for this..."

Thane had asked Shepard to help him find his son, Kolyat, who seemed to be in some kind of trouble. Shepard didn't feel comfortable with the mission at all, but he knew he had to do it.

"You are," she reassured him gently. "You acted the gentleman with Ariadne, didn't you? You can do this. I know you can. What if it was your son?"

"I think I'd be a better father—"

"Doesn't matter what you would or wouldn't be. You would do anything to save me, and don't you dare argue that because you know you would."

"I know. Anderson sent me the paperwork for the court martial they were getting ready for me. Ignoring orders was the least of my problems."

"You never really did listen..."

"Except when you tell me to stop."

"Only sometimes."

"Sorry."

Ariadne shrugged. "It's quite alright. Now, go help Mr. Krios and meet me at the Hellas Gallery after." She ran her hand around the collar of his armor. "You and I are going to have a romantic dinner, go out dancing, and then get back to the task at hand."

He grinned stupidly. "Seriously? You mean we're actually going to go on a date?"

"Mmhm. Everyone's on shore leave for the next forty-eight hours, so we may as well get some time to ourselves..."

Shepard's mind raced into the realm of fantasy. He kissed her knuckles reverently. "I'm looking forward to it."

Ariadne left. Shepard turned to Thane, unable to stop smiling.

The drell chuckled. "It is nice to see you in a good mood, Commander."

"We've never actually been out together..."

"A product of the times, I am sure."

Shepard released a slow breath. "And now the pressure's on me to perform. Shit. What the hell am I supposed to do? We've only ever gone to bars and all that sort of thing..."

"I will gladly give you some advice, but after we find my son."

Shepard nodded. "That goes without saying."

As they went through security at C-Sec, Thane chuckled. "Any trained Assassin could find thirteen security holes to exploit."

"That would've been good to know. Last time I was here, the system got pissed at me for being dead."

"Quite understandable. It does not like when it's wrong."

"Eesh. Sounds like EDI."

"That was Cassiopeia's fault."

"What?"

"She attempted to discover the limits of EDI's programming and caused her to glitch for several moments."

"Was she making sure that we weren't being bugged?" Shepard asked.

"I am not sure. I just happened to be in the area when I heard her cursing and Kasumi laughing."

"Figures," Shepard muttered, stepping into the Zakera Ward proper. The C-Sec officers stared at him in shock as his identity appeared on the screen.

"I thought he was dead," a turian murmured.

"Who cares?" a human answered. "He let my cousin die on Torfan. Fucking butcher..."

Shepard cracked his neck. "Where are we starting?"

"C-Sec," Thane answered.

"Seriously? Those incompetent idiots?"

"They have ears, though blind eyes more often than not."

"Tell me something I don't know..."

"I will speak to them, if you wish. You need not worry yourself. You are here for... moral support."

"That's a new one..."

"I could not ask Cassiopeia, for fear that Imreas would appear."

"I get your reasons, it's just new to me, that's all. I'm not exactly a paragon of morality... or whatever it is Ci-Ci calls me."

"It is that. I believe you are, more than you realize, Shepard. Your recent record speaks for itself." Thane's eyes twinkled oddly and he approached one of the C-Sec officers.

Shepard let out a long breath. Thane was right. Corinthia had been getting to him. He may have acted like a tough guy (which he was), but even if he was cold and cruel in his course of action, he always did the right thing in the end. Hell, he'd stopped a kid from getting himself killed on Omega by joining the mercenaries going after Archangel (the kid had even dropped Shepard a note in thanks, too). That was Corinthia's thing, not his, but he'd done it without her there. She was the voice in his head (and he got the distinct impression that he was the voice in hers... or Imreas's, as the case probably was, shouting at Harbinger to get the fuck out of Corinthia's mind).

Either way, Corinthia was the best thing that could have ever happened to him.

Thane came back.

"Mouse."

"Uh..."

"He was a contact of mine. Kolyat contacted him."

"An informant named 'Mouse'? Wouldn't 'Rat' be more appropriate?"

"He may be part of the underbelly of society, but he is a good boy. He grew up here. Many orphans wander around in the ducts and ventilation shafts of the Citadel. He was one of the lucky few to have survived."

Shepard's stomach twinged with guilt. If he hadn't been born on Earth, he could easily have been one of those kids. He rubbed the back of his neck, glad his tattoo was gone, but half-wishing it wasn't. "No kid deserves that. Ci-Ci and I are adopting."

"Are you marrying?"

"Uh..." Shepard flushed a little. "I haven't really asked her, yet, but I'm going to... I just don't know when, and when she suggested going out tonight, I kinda thought... Let's get to Kolyat first and then we can discuss how much of a coward I am."

"You are no coward. She would never refuse you."

"Not eventually, but what about now? I can't just get married in the middle of hunting down the Reapers."

Thane put his hand on Shepard's shoulder. "I learned the hard way that we have too little time with our loved ones. Do not make the same mistake I did."

Shepard frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"My wife... Irikah... She was killed because of my foolishness. I spent years hunting down the men responsible. They were the first deaths I chose to bring, so their blood is truly on my hands. I have been attempting to atone." Thane's gaze unfocused. "This is yet another attempt."

"We've all made mistakes. I'm sure we'll fix it."

"Thank you, Shepard. I appreciate your confidence. My sins against Kolyat are great..."

"It happens. Look, I'm not good with this kind of thing, but tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."

"Again, you have my thanks."

* * *

><p>Shepard cracked his knuckles and stretched out his fingers. "So... an interrogation?"<p>

Thane nodded. "I take it you wish to be the proverbial 'bad cop'."

"You bet your ass I do."

"I have one request."

"Oh?"

"Do not kill him."

"Can I still make him scream?"

"Of course."

They walked into the interrogation room, where Elias Kelham was strapped to a chair. He looked over. "Do you have any idea who I am?"

Shepard exchanged a look with Thane before stepping forward. "Do you know who I am?"

"An idiot."

Shepard smirked, leaning his hands on the chair arms and putting his face in Kelham's. "I'm a Spectre. I can do whatever the fuck I want."

Elias gulped. "What do you want to know?"

Two minutes later, Shepard and Thane walked out of the room, pushing past Kelham's lawyer and trying hard not to laugh.

"That was easy," Shepard observed.

"Indeed. I did not know you were so convincing."

"Drop the right names and growl enough and you can do anything. So, shall we find this Joram Talid bastard and kick the shit out of him first?"

"We follow him. Kolyat will do the same. We intervene before he makes an attempt on Talid's life."

Shepard shrugged, getting into the shuttle arranged to take them to Talid's location. "Sounds fair. So, let me guess: you sneak around on the ground while I follow in the rafters or something?"

"Exactly."

After half-an-hour, they arrived at the ward. Shepard and Thane got out of the shuttle. Shepard grimaced at the blaring neon lights. "It's like being back on Earth..."

"Bad memories?"

"You have no idea... Not even Ci-Ci knows."

"I am sure she can guess." Thane inhaled nervously. "Please, Shepard, this is my only chance with Kolyat."

"I won't screw this up. You know I have a knack for pulling victory out of my ass."

Thane chuckled. "That is true..."

Shepard put his hand on Thane's shoulder. "Good luck."

"Thank you." Thane clasped his hands in prayer. "Amonkira. Lord of Hunters. Grant that my hands be steady, my aim be true, and my feet swift. And should the worst come to pass..." He looked up. "...grant me forgiveness." A person walked in front of him and he was gone.

* * *

><p>Kolyat held a gun to Talid's head. "I'll kill him," he whispered, his voice echoing in a quasi-processes way just as Thane's did.<p>

Shepard calmly shifted his pistol aim and shot the gun out of Kolyat's hands. "Like hell you will. Tell him, Thane."

Thane stepped forward. "Forgive me."

"You..." Kolyat hissed. "You expect me to just... just... forgive you after what you did?"

"No, I do not," Thane murmured guiltily.

"You LEFT me there! What kind of a father leaves his son like you did?"

"I was doing what I thought was necessary to protect you."

"Some job you did..."

"I did not wish this life for you."

Shepard shifted uncomfortably. He'd never really liked teenagers or kids, but he had the image of having that argument with his own son one day. His son... It was a strange thought, being a father. Worse, he actually wanted it. He wanted to give something to the world that wasn't pure destruction, something that had his best qualities mixed in with all of Corinthia's perfections. Maybe that was years away, and he wasn't even sure he'd have years. Part of him wanted to rush into the nearest store, find some kind of ring, and sweep Corinthia to the nearest court house and marry her, but he couldn't do that to her.

Honestly, the idea of marrying Corinthia frightened him. To truly have her... All of her... He actually enjoyed the anticipation, in a masochistic sort of way. To step into something so serious whilst being in the middle of their current ordeal... He couldn't do it. If he lost her... or if she lost him, the impact of losing a spouse was a thousand times more devastating than a boyfriend or girlfriend (though they'd never really been in that stage of their relationship to begin with, having skipped over that to 'we're in love, but just not engaged yet').

Besides, he couldn't ask her to marry him without a ring and, though she loved things that sparkled, he had no idea where to start. He'd probably have to wait until she started dropping hints, anyway, before he decided to act. As he knew, she was agonizingly patient when it came lo romance and love. Someday it was going to kill him, he could feel it.

Chief Inspector Bailey of C-Sec, which whom Shepard had crossed paths multiple times, entered the scene. "I'm here to arrest Kolyat."

"He hasn't done anything," Shepard growled, "except to scare the shit out of Talid."

The turian nodded quickly. "Yes... I... can I go now? I won't press charges, I swear it!"

"Good, now, fuck off," Shepard spat. The turian obsequiously thanked him and scurried off like the piece of politician slime he was.

Bailey sighed. "Well, that makes everything more complicated..."

"Or less," Shepard suggested.

"I don't like the sound of that."

"Take it easy on him. He didn't actually do anything, that politician isn't pressing charges, and he could end up being an asset to you."

Bailey scratched his head. Though one of the few humans within C-Sec that had been put into a position of power, Bailey wasn't the most intelligent of men. As seemed to be the case within law enforcement, he was one of the ones that cut corners to keep people happy and, every so often, do the right thing. As a matter of fact, Bailey had simply changed Shepard's status from "DECEASED" to "WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN" when he first came to the Citadel, no questions asked and no paperwork required.

"What do you mean? Like give him a job? Make him do community service?"

"Pick one. I'd just make him work with the kids like Mouse. They need someone that can get them off the streets."

Bailey narrowed his eyes. He hadn't expected any kind of softness coming from Shepard, especially considering how much of an asshole the Commander had been at their first meeting. "You serious?"

"Of course I am."

Bailey sighed. "Alright. I'll do what I can."

"Just give Thane and his kid a chance to catch up,, first, alright?"

"Fine." Bailey turned to Thane and Kolyat. "Well, come along. We haven't got all day."

* * *

><p>Shepard was waiting, trying to ignore the advertisements. They were annoying him to not end, since they were telling him to buy things from asari funeral shrouds to pet fish. Every so often, there was an ad for Corinthia's gallery, which made him jump the first time he heard it because she was the one talking.<p>

Art is the physical manifestation of imagination, where stories come to life, dreams come true, and we see the perfections of nature right before our eyes...

Shepard was going to tease her for being so poetic later. He'd laughed himself silly when he saw the serious smile on her face and sultry glint in her eyes. Admittedly, if he hadn't known that she was only like that as a joke, even he might have gone by the gallery to see what was there.

Thane came out of C-Sec, a sad smile on his face.

"How'd it go?" Shepard asked.

"As well as could be expected," Thane answered. "Wounds do not heal overnight, but they are beginning to mend. It will take time... Hopefully I will have enough."

"You will, I know it."

"Thank you, Commander. I did not expect you to..."

"Blame Ci-Ci for that one. She'd kill me if I did anything else."

Thane cocked his head to one side. "I am not so sure. I believe you would have done this regardless."

"You think that, but I know better. You haven't seen me without her."

Thane clasped his hands behind his back. "I have heard the stories. I also understand better than you may realize."

"Is it that battle-sleep thing?"

"Indeed."

Shepard snorted. "Look, so maybe I'm as good a killer as you, but I chose to make every last one of them die. I can only think of one death that I didn't have a choice about, but she chose to die, too, so it's still the same thing."

"Your first instinct was still to save, not harm."

"It wouldn't have been two years ago, which for me is really just eight months ago."

"During which much has happened."

Shepard nodded. "Maybe I just don't like the idea of me being a good man."

Thane put his hand on Shepard's shoulder. "You do not walk like one, fight like one, or speak like one. Men fear you, but your friends know better. As Cassiopeia says, you are a sap."

Shepard chuckled. "I'm going to blame her for that one. Not that I mind. She's even more adorable when she thinks that I've been sweet or anything like that."

"There is nothing wrong with showing your heart while you still can."

Shepard ran his hand over his head. "Yeah, but you're talking about the woman that was so patient I didn't even know she liked me until I confronted her with my affections. I guessed that she did... hoped that she did, but when she skittered off... Argh. I'm not going into our story. It's boring."

"The entire crew has already heard it, I promise you. Ms. Chambers wasted no time in asking and Cassiopeia was more than happy to oblige."

Shepard groaned. "They all probably think I'm some kind of pussy..."

"I believe what Ms. Chambers said was, 'Wow... I never expected that of the Commander. But I'm glad to know he's human.' Is that better?"

"Did she think I was some kind of god or something?"

"That seems to be the case almost universally. You are not easily defeated."

Shepard's eyes widened. "You can't be serious..."

"Ask Cassiopeia. She may act ignorant, but she is one of the most observant people among the crew, next to Kasumi and Ms. Chambers."

Shepard shook his head. "Great. That's just... Ugh..."

"Is there something wrong, Commander?"

"It's nothing," Shepard lied, rubbing his eyes. The fact was that if everyone thought him invincible, they all thought that he could win. To everyone else, he'd overcome death. Miranda was probably the only one that didn't think like that. Even Corinthia wasn't so naive as to think he was untouchable...

Thane inclined his head. "As you wish. Shall we return to the Normandy?"

"Yeah..." Shepard's stomach dropped nervously. "I've never actually taken her out before... I mean, I have a couple times, but it was always on a job... And I don't even know if it's going to be her or Ariadne I go with. Fuck. I'm screwed."

"Do not be so hard on yourself. She seems like the sort that would have fun even if you stood in one location and talked for an hour."

"That's what we normally do, though the hour you mentioned is more like three or four... You were married, right? What did you do to court her?"

Thane stiffened slightly. Shepard knew Thane's story of meeting his wife — how she'd spotted the target laser dot against his target and thrown herself between Thane and the victim — and that Thane had begged her forgiveness for almost a year before she finally consented to notice him, eventually love him.

"Do you mean after she finally forgave me?" Thane asked softly.

"Yeah."

"Our customs are not yours. We came to know one another, courted as was our way, and eventually married."

"Sorry. I'm just nervous..."

"You should not be. You already know she loves you."

"But she still has expectations."

"She is easily pleased, as you well know. How often does she shout 'ooh, yay'?"

Shepard laughed at Thane's more than pathetic impression of her. "Alright, you have a point. I just wanted to surprise her."

"You could give her a gift of some sort. Is that not a human tradition?"

Shepard flushed a little. "Well... Yeah, but only when you're going to marry them... Wait, that's not true. Shit. I've never actually had a girlfriend, you know, so..." He snapped his fingers. "Flowers. I knew there was something that — and chocolates. I know she likes those things."

"You will be fine, Commander," Thane reassured him, trying not to laugh. "Besides, I am sure she has a plan. Her voice held much promise."

"Tell me about it," Shepard answered, half-sighing. He coughed and put on his tough-guy face once more. "Right. To the Normandy."

* * *

><p><strong>Hellas Gallery, Presidium, the Citadel<strong>

Mia was glad to have Ariadne back in the Gallery. Though all the other employees could easily handle the work, as the artist of a third of the pieces they carried, she had a knack for creating the connection to the work. Besides, they needed to know when she was going to produce her next paintings. She had been mysteriously absent for two months and returned without anything to add.

Ariadne came out of her office, holding a datapad. "Alright, Mia. I've settled the order for the next three months. Has anyone called for me?"

Mia smirked. "Expecting Mr. Gunn, are we?"

Ariadne blushed a little. "Well, yes. After all, he is courting me."

"The Artist and the Mercenary... how romantic..." Mia sighed dreamily. "He was rather handsome, too. And the way he kissed you... Ooh, I want one!"

Ariadne smiled kindly. "There isn't anyone else like him in the galaxy. I've looked."

"I always did wonder why he was the first one to actually get you to like him."

"I have obscenely high standards. He exceeded them all."

"He must be extremely well endowed, then."

"Mia!"

"What? I know what you humans look for in mates."

Ariadne rapped Mia on the head with the datapad. "Just for that, you don't get to watch if we kiss."

"Aw... But that's the best part!"

"And it's all mine. Muahahahah!" Ariadne cackled evilly.

Shepard chuckled and put his hands on her waist. "You bet your beautiful ass I'm all yours." He kissed her cheek playfully. "Mia."

"Mr. Gunn," the asari answered, smiling dazedly.

Shepard turned Ariadne around and stroked her cheek. "Ready to go?"

"Not quite," she answered sternly, evading his kiss as she ducked out of his arms. "Give me ten minutes."

"Aw, come on! I've been dawdling for three hours waiting to come here!"

"Then ten more minutes won't kill you," she answered, shrugging apathetically. "Go wander around. See what's here."

"Fine..." He slouched off like a disappointed child.

Mia snickered. "Do you really need ten minutes?"

"No, I just like to torture him," Ariadne answered, winking.

"Can I have him for the next ten minutes, then?"

"No."

"Aw... Can I at least look?"

"He isn't going to notice."

"That's what makes it so perfect."

Ariadne sighed. She was just going to have to handle other women ogling her man.

Shepard's eyes followed Ariadne. He still couldn't get over how she looked... nor himself. He'd put on that damned monkey suit of his just to please her. She hadn't even noticed.

Mia leaned over her desk, displaying her assets marvelously. "So, Mr. Gunn, do you like what you see?"

He glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "That all depends what you're talking about. I'm not really an art guy."

"So you go out with an artist?"

"I'm going out with a woman who happens to be an artist," he corrected.

"So you like class, then?"

Shepard nodded slowly. Honestly, he did. He really did. He'd loved Corinthia as a soldier, but seeing her in skin-tight dresses, heels, make-up, and long hair just made him realize just how beautiful she was (at least, to him).

He rolled his eyes as he passed a sculpture of Achilles. When he looked closely enough, he could tell that Ariadne had modeled it after him. She would, but probably only because she missed him.

Though somewhat amusing to see what sorts of things he'd inspired, art was still definitely not his thing. It seemed like a waste of good money, in his opinion. For the price of that particular sculpture, he could buy three new assault rifles and upgrade the Normandy's weaponry, shields, and med-bay (which was something he'd already done, though every new crew member seemed to have something else to add).

He could feel Mia undressing him with her eyes. It wasn't the first time someone had, as it had happened nearly every time he went into a bar when he was with the Alliance, but it was the first time in several years that he was actually aware of it. Then again, he was feeling particularly self-conscious. He was pretending to be someone else taking his girlfriend's alter-ego out on a date. There was no telling how it was going to end up or if he'd actually be going out with Corinthia out at all.

Ariadne came back. "Alright, Solomon, shall we go?"

He nodded and put his arm around her waist. "Please. Mia's been trying to eat me."

Ariadne licked his ear, grazing her teeth lightly along the lobe. "I don't blame her."

He shivered. "I hate you so much right now..."

Corinthia laughed. "Don't hate me, Shep. You just made a suggestion and I thought it was a good one."

Shepard sighed in relief. "Good. I thought for a while that it was going to be Gunn and Ariadne this entire time."

"Yeah, right. I mean, we could, but she doesn't really giggle. Besides, I couldn't let us go out for the first time and not be ourselves, you know?"

He stroked her cheek. "Can I kiss you now?"

"Definitely."

He did, not caring as people passing muttered, whistled, or just stared. Corinthia gasped for breath when he pulled away. "Damn it, Shepard, you're making me wish that we'd stay in."

He shrugged. "Well, if it's too awkward, then we can."

"Well, I mean, we are rather close to the human embassy, so Udina and Anderson may have seen..."

"Let them. Like I give a fuck. You aren't in the Alliance anymore."

"Actually, they could still press charges against you..."

Shepard through for a moment. "Fuck it. I love you more." He kissed her greedily, a little more roughly than he might have intended, but she seemed to very much enjoy it.

"Dinner?" she suggested breathlessly.

"Yeah... before I get carried away," he answered, chest heaving.

"Not that I mind..."

"Later."

"Yeah, later. Definitely later." She looped her arm around his waist. "So... Where are we going?"

He blanched. "I thought you were planning it..."

She snickered. "Of course I was, but if you'd made plans, I was going to offer you a chance to execute them."

He rolled his eyes. "I plan battles and assaults, but I can't sort out a damned date."

"Note to self: Do not expect Shepard to help with the wedding planning."

"Wedding?" he asked softly.

"Eventually. Like you said: we're forever, just not hitching up yet."

He relaxed a little. "Oh..."

She kissed his cheek. "I'm not going to pressure you into something like that. God knows we don't have the time."

"But you want to."

"Of course I do. You're talking to the biggest romantic in the galaxy."

"So..."

"So?"

He tightened his grip on her shoulders. "The thing is, if you want me to ask you, I will."

She stopped and took his hands. "John, I am never, ever going to pressure you into that. I love you, but we're not ready for that step right now. Even if we were, there's a galaxy to save. We'll have all our lives to live for after that."

"Will we?" he asked softly.

"Of course we will! You aren't — Oh..." She trailed off. "You're still not sure we'll win."

"No. Everyone just thinks that I will."

"I know you will."

"Please, don't say that, Cassie..."

"What's wrong with me having faith in you?"

"What if I don't win?" he demanded coldly. "What if I get all of us killed?" His expression darkened as he gently touched her cheek. "What if I get you killed? I couldn't live with myself."

"You won't, John. I'm not going to die."

"But what about Imreas?"

She rolled her eyes. "Stop worrying about her. She's not going to intrude. She's not even a true second personality."

"What?"

"She's just another side of me that I repress... Like what I thought I'd be like if I were you, specifically from Torfan and other particular places like that, but you get the idea. She says that we'll eventually just merge or something... I don't know, but you've got me right now. I just wanted to relax a little while we had a chance, but if you don't want to, we'll go back to the Normandy and just have more stolen moments that everyone knows about, anyway."

He caught her arm before she could leave. "I'm sorry, Cassie. I'm ruining your evening."

"Not yet you haven't. C'mon. I know of this amazing restaurant with the best food I've had in ages."

"So you think Rupert's food tastes like shit, too?"

Rupert, the cook aboard the Normandy, wasn't particularly gifted in the culinary arts, even when Corinthia went out of her way to get him higher quality food stocks.

Corinthia blushed. "I wouldn't ever tell him that..."

"But you still agree?"

"Yeah..."


	50. Unrevised: Reprieve

_**A/N:** __The big 50! I can't believe I made it here. Thanks to everyone who reads, reviews, follows, and favorites! It keeps me writing and inspired to do so!_

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>7 July 2185—Presidium Ward, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula<strong>

Shepard and Corinthia arrived at the restaurant. Shepard was glad he'd worn the tux. Like most anything that Corinthia tended to get herself into, the place oozed money and wealth. He recognized some of her paintings on the walls, which were white marble and decorated like the Council Chambers. Well-to-do beings of all species sat at tables, talking in hushed voices.

"I don't belong here," Shepard whispered.

"It's alright." Corinthia boldly walked to the hostess, an asari with a false smile and no patience.

"Ah, Ms. Enig. It's good to have you back," the hostess said breathlessly. "Your usual table?"

"Please," Corinthia answered.

The hostess did a double-take. "But I thought... Your accent..."

"Ariadne is an alternate identity. I assure that I am her. The reservations' for Cassiopeia Corinthia-Imreas."

Shepard noticed Emily Wong, one of the only reporters he'd met that he didn't want to strangle, sitting nearby. The reporter perked up her ears.

Shepard moved closer to Corinthia. "People are listening..."

"Let them," Corinthia answered. "I'm allowed to be alive."

"What about me?"

"I thought people knew that already..."

"Not so far as I know." He eyed Emily Wong, who was surreptitiously following them to their table. "Get ready..."

"What? Why?" Corinthia asked as they sat down. She spotted Emily. "Oh..."

Emily smiled. "Commanders. I can't thank you enough for the help you gave me two years ago."

Shepard had helped her discover some injustices in the Citadel traffic control system. She'd also interviewed him without any kind of angle, which he greatly appreciated, considering that most reporters tried to skew his responses.

"You're welcome," Shepard answered impatiently, taking Corinthia's hand in his.

Emily eyed them. "Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't realize..."

"It's alright. You're a reporter and this is a scoop isn't, it? Two people back from the dead..."

"You... You don't mind if I write a story, do you?"

"As long as you keep that Ci-Ci and I are together a secret, I couldn't care less."

"Of course." Emily giggled. "It's cute, really, but I know how much trouble you'd get in."

"And what kind of publicity you'd get talking about us," Shepard growled.

Emily crossed her arms. "I'm not out to ruin people's lives, Commander. If you want to see every single draft of my articles, I'll make sure you get them. You're a hero in my books and I'm not going to go spreading rumors about your love life, even if they are true. This is your private life, so that's how it's going to stay."

"I... Thank you," Shepard answered, flabbergasted. "Look, I'm kinda busy, but send me your questions and I'll answer them."

Emily grinned. "Great! Great... I already know where to find you."

Corinthia nodded. "One last thing: If I send you an article, will you publish it?"

"I'll see what I can do. Can you write?"

"Well enough. You can edit, if you'd like, but only for style, not content."

"Got it. You don't have to worry. I'm not going to go behind your back."

"I know. Nice to see you again, Emily."

"Commanders." Emily left, a big grin slapped across her face.

Shepard turned to Corinthia. "What the hell was that about?"

"Ariadne is going to have to become Corinthia eventually. I thought I'd just... speed things up."

"I thought people were trying to kill you."

"Cerberus won't, we're already fighting the Collectors, and the Shadow Broker's too distracted by Liara. Besides, having a Spectre on your side's going to be a good thing, right?"

"I'm already one..."

"Another one, then."

"I'm just glad to have you." He kissed the back of her hand. He looked around, unnerved. "I feel really out of place..."

"You look like you belong. You're getting more use out of that suit than most other people do."

"The last time I was in civs was... Well, when we went to Flux to meet Anderson. I'm definitely more comfortable in that kind of thing."

"It's okay, Shepard. If you want to go somewhere else, we'll go somewhere else. A bar, club, whatever. I just wanted to go somewhere nice, that's all."

"I guess it's not my style..."

"I know. We can go to a rock concert next time. How's that sound?"

"How do you even know what kind of music I like?"

"I remembered the stuff you didn't yell at me to shut off in the Mako."

He shook his head. "It's weird..."

"What is?" she asked curiously.

"I know you, how you fight, your past... Hell, I fell in love with you without actually knowing anything about your interests or hobbies or anything."

"It's okay, John. You've been through every major event in my life. I mean, you _are_ the major event of my life. You've been beside me since I walked into that stupid recruiting station..."

"Stupid?" Shepard repeated. "I thought you liked it..."

She shook her head and took a sip of water. "Let's not get into an argument."

"I didn't mean to sound like... Cassie, I want to know about you. Your hopes, dreams, fantasies..."

She giggled. "I get that whenever you take off your shirt."

"Not funny."

"What?" she asked innocently. "I bet you're thinking the same thing about me."

"Well..." He turned red. "I've seen most of you before... I'm sorry, but the second you start taking off your shirt, I keep telling myself that I can't..."

"But the hero always peeks," she answered with a snicker. "I'm a little embarrassed, but not extremely. Just let me know if there's something I need to work on before you get the whole view."

Shepard nearly spat out his mouthful of water. He hadn't expected her to be so bold (or for her to know that he'd stared at her enough to know what she looked like naked, anyway). "Wha... What?"

"Hah! Made you blush!"

"Don't do that to me!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, darling." Her next phrase was cut off as the waiter came by to take their orders. "So... my dreams?" she continued.

"Sure," he answered.

"Other than absolutely insane, I'd say retiring from this life."

"Which one?"

"You know... Fighting. Battles. Everything like that."

He toyed with her fingers, not answering for a long time. "Oh..." he breathed.

"I'm sorry, Shepard, but after everything we've seen, I just... I like being Ariadne."

Shepard dropped her hand. "What?"

"I like being her. The life, the fact that no one's trying to kill me..."

"What about me?"

"You think I want to give you up?" she asked, shocked. "Of course not! I'd miss seeing you every day..."

"We'd _never_ see each other. I'd be half-way across the galaxy on a mission and you'd be selling shitty art to gang lords and rich bastards."

"Shitty?" she repeated hotly. "Shitty? You know I made almost half of the stuff in there!"

"So I don't like art! Big deal."

Corinthia swallowed an angry answer. "You should've just said that..." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I'm not about to leave you in the lurch, Shepard. I'll stay with you until the end. If you ask me to fight, I will. I'm not going to stop now because I know you need me. I'm talking about the future, when there isn't a galaxy to save, when we aren't trying to hide that we're together."

"You call this hiding?"

"From the Alliance. Even though you're with Cerberus and acting as a Spectre, they can still court martial you."

"You'd think they could find a better accusation that fraternization..."

"Same, but they're going to throw everything at you if you piss them off enough."

"What are you talking about?"

She leaned in. "You remember how I left the Alliance? It wasn't really a decision... It was an order."

He narrowed his eyes. "Explain."

"Anderson and Hackett didn't the brass to screw things up for you. They knew that they needed you to keep fighting. They sent you after the geth to keep you out of the discussion and make sure that you wouldn't get destroyed in the arguments. Everything went wrong. You were killed, I was supposed to find Vigil on Ilos... I got to Vigil, but we couldn't really recover anything. So, they glossed the whole thing over. I was ordered by the Council to stop investigating the Reapers, so I moved on to Cerberus... and then back to the Reapers as well. It was horrible and nothing made any sense, but I'm almost positive they're going to do it again."

"So they ordered you to resign to protect me?"

"Something like that. I created Ariadne to give me a source of money as I worked, but when I faked my death, it had to become my life... I liked it."

'Hence the stunning wardrobe..." Shepard murmured, looking her up and down. "God, you're beautiful..."

She blushed. "Downgraded from sexy, have we?"

"Upgraded. You are the sexiest creature I've ever seen, but I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, so I'm going to have to get beyond that, right?"

"And you're adorable."

"Adorable?" he repeated. "That's it?"

"Well, 'cute' is an insult to guys, isn't it?"

"It's not in our vocabulary... But I know you better than that."

She smiled. "You're handsome, cute, smoking hot..."

He smirked. "That's more like it."

"Someone's needy."

"Well, I had started wondering if I was your physical type..."

"Did you forget how I say 'oh my God, it's so shiny' every time you remove your shirt?"

"No, though I don't really get it. I have chest hair..."

"Should I say 'fuzzy' instead?"

"No. That's worse."

"Then 'shiny' it is."

"I can't decide if I hate or love you right now..."

"The latter."

"Says who?"

She winked. "Says me. Besides, we're going dancing later."

"You can't be serious..."

"Like hell I'm not."

He looked around nervously. "I can't dance, Ci-Ci, you know that! Last time I passed out in your arms!"

"Well, I'll make sure that you're just tipsy then, hm?"

"The best I can do is hold your hips and enjoy you moving against me," Shepard muttered, "and you aren't the type to do that."

"You never know..."

Shepard gulped. "Can we go back to talking about our hobbies?"

She shrugged. "If you want. I like art, designing programs, and playing games on my omni-tool. Your turn."

He scratched his head. "You know, I'm not sure I have any... My leaves were spent on base studying for promotions and training my biotics. When I'm not writing reports, I just go sleep... You know I don't really get a chance otherwise."

She blinked. "No motorcycles? Playing an instrument?"

He shook his head. "I used to have a bike, but I left everything behind when I joined the Alliance. The best I can think of is that I used to study in my spare time to get my GED. I thought about going to college once, too, but the military was the better choice was for me."

"I know. You're perfect for it, really, but are you incapable of fun?"

"I'm dating you, aren't I?"

She laughed. "Alright, you have a point. I know you like shooting..."

"Being with you."

She ignored him. "Yelling at the Illusive Man."

"Being with you."

She raised an eyebrow. "You saying I'm a hobby?"

"Definitely. Do you know how hard you are to figure out?"

"Alright, good point..." It took until they were half-way through their meal for her to continue, "Am I really that complicated?"

"Confounding," he corrected.

"Oh... Yeah, that I can see." She licked off the back of her spoon. "So what do you want to do after we win?"

"If there's an after..."

"_When_ we win," she pressed.

"You aren't going to give up, are you?"

"Nope," she answered perkily.

"I don't know... become an admiral? There's no way I'm becoming a civilian. Fighting's just in my blood. It's the only thing I know I'm good at. It's got all the right challenges... So... yeah. I'm not so creative as you and I'm just... All I can do is fight."

She touched his hand gently. "It's alright, you know. You're a natural leader and you've definitely chosen the right career path. If you hadn't, there wouldn't be a Citadel."

"You know I don't like being a hero..."

"Only when you're forced into the spotlight," she answered snidely.

"Point."

* * *

><p><strong>Flux, the Market Ward, the Citadel<strong>

Shepard felt infinitely better. Corinthia had let him take off his jacket, unbutton the top of his shirt, and put on his combat boots, cargo pants, and a leather jacket (which she said she had because she'd had to clean out his apartment on Earth after he'd died. He made a mental note to take his three outfits back onto the _Normandy _with him). At his request, she was still in her dark green dress and heels.

She glared at him. "You know, I like baggy clothing, too."

He chuckled, squeezed her waist lightly, and kissed her temple. "You look amazing. Besides, I thought you liked the dresses."

"I do, but not going clubbing in something that barely comes to my knees..."

"If anyone touches you except me, they're going to get their neck broken."

"I forgot... You're a living, breathing chastity belt. You've never even groped me!"

"Is that a request?" he asked, growling ferally and dropping his hand a little lower.

She turned bright red. "Shepard! You don't see me groping your thighs, either!"

He smirked, leaning in to swiftly and passionately kiss her on the lips, "As you wish, my love. No ass grabbing unless you ask for it."

"I'm glad that's settled," she muttered mutinously. She slapped his rump for good measure.

"Hey!" he gasped, startled. "That hurt...

"Hah! Vengeance is mine!" she pronounced dramatically.

He shook his head. "You're impossible..."

"I know. It's why you love me." She flicked his ear as they stepped into the club.

As per usual, Flux was throbbing with music and people. Shepard pulled Corinthia closer to his side as his level of discomfort heightened. If he'd been in the tux... He shuddered.

"Let's get some drinks," he muttered, dragging her to the bar and ordering two scotches.

The bartender looked him up and down. "You're Shepard, aren't you?"

"Yeah, what about it?" he growled.

"You saved my sister, Jenna, a couple years ago..."

He thought for a long moment. "Oh, right... No problem."

"These are on the house."

"Thanks," Shepard murmured.

Corinthia cocked her head to one side. "I don't remember that..."

"Don't worry about it," Shepard answered. "You weren't involved in that mission."

"Oh..." She kissed his cheek.

"What was that for?"

"You're a sweetheart, you know that?"

"Please don't start calling me that in public..."

"I won't, Shep. Promise."

He drained his drink and pointed to hers. "You going to have that?"

"Nope." She pushed towards him. "That enough to get you dancing?"

He knocked it back and grabbed her hand. "Hell yeah. Let's go."

He dragged her onto the dance floor, pulling her by the waist against him. This was probably the closest thing to sex he was going to get from her in a long time, so he was going to enjoy every moment of it. Corinthia curled her arms around his neck. For someone as klutzy as she could be, she didn't move like it. She probably even knew how to dance, but she was indulging him and doing a combo of belly and pole dancing against him. He put his mouth against her jaw and started kissing. He knew that he had to stay in control of himself, or else... Thinking was quickly exiting his list of options, though.

After almost ten minutes, he couldn't take it any longer. "Cassie..." he whispered hoarsely.

She stopped dancing. "John?" she asked, concerned.

He met her eyes, pleading. "Don't... I mean, if you keep going... But don't stop. Please..."

She took a deep breath. "Oh..." She glanced around and ran her fingers up the nape of his neck and into his hair. He closed his eyes and released a slow breath. "I'm willing," she said softly, kissing his throat.

"If you are... There's no going back."

"I know."

He met her eyes, searching to make sure that she was determined. She returned the gaze levelly, her eyes on fire just as much as his.

She smiled shyly. "I love you, John. You're my everything... My best friend..." She kissed his cheek gently. "My commander..." She smiled giddily. "My boyfriend..." She kissed his lips, lingering for a long moment. "My love..." She bit her lip and stood on tiptoes to whisper in his ear, "My lover..."

Shepard cupped her cheek, running a calloused finger across her now unscarred skin. "Want me to make some kind of 'forever and eternity' vow?"

She grinned. "I already know that's how it is, but if you want to..."

He kissed her fingers. "Cassiopeia, I'll love you forever and for eternity. Don't expect anything more romantic. You know I suck at this shit."

She laughed. "Ditto."

He smirked. "You would ruin it like that..."

"We still have all the time to get to my apartment to re-set the mood, don't we?"

"Damn right." He seized her shoulders and kissed her with all of his pent up passion, catching her as her knees gave way. He never did know how they managed to make it out of Flux and back to her flat, but he did know that he was never, ever going to let her go again.


	51. Unrevised: Aeia

_**Disclaimer**: Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><strong><strong><strong>**

**9 July 2185 — Ariadne's Apartment, Presidium, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula**

********

The last time Shepard was this happy was the day Corinthia first told him that she loved him. Now she had. "Properly", as she had put it. Other than that joke, she had been shockingly mature about their love making. She'd been shy and insecure, as she tended to be with the new and unusual, but Shepard ensured she overcame her hesitance quickly. Then again, he'd been even more nervous than she had. It had been her, not some girl he'd picked up at a bar. She'd been tactful enough to avoid asking in specific exactly how much experience he'd had with women and, honestly, he thought he would die of shame if he had to tell her in any other terms than "you're the only one I want and need now".

Next to him, the sleeping Corinthia sighed softly and snuggled closer to him. He brushed her hair off her face and kissed her forehead. As much as he liked the sophisticated version of her, he loved seeing her without makeup (and, of course, without clothes). He could even see the faded, light traces of her old scars, as well as some newer ones. If there was any benefit to her having Imreas around, it was that Corinthia didn't get hurt. She used to take a bullet almost every mission and, though she had this strange ability to shrug off and almost completely ignore the pain, Shepard hated it. Unfortunately, he needed her fighting beside him, maybe less so after his upgrades by Cerberus, but he still wanted her with him.

For the moment, he was just glad Imreas hadn't shown up. It not only meant that Corinthia wanted him, but also that she was learning to control her other side. Or perhaps absorbing it. During her first few years in the Alliance, she had fought like Imreas (though the silent alter-ego did not spout "that's what she said" after almost everything someone said). If they were lucky, Corinthia's mind would re-merge (or something like that) and not only would she be beautiful, but she also would be one of the best soldiers the Alliance had ever seen.

Corinthia's lips brushed against his throat. "Mm... John?"

He smiled. "Cassie."

She slowly opened her eyes. "Are we dreaming?"

He chuckled. "You said that yesterday."

"Alright, I guess not." She sat up, pulling the sheets with her. Her stomach plunged a little as her nerves set in again. "So..."

He guided her into a long, lazy kiss. "Don't you dare make it awkward," he warned her when he was through.

She swallowed a snicker. "You aren't making it easy, you know."

He rolled his eyes. "You know, just because I've seen you naked doesn't mean that everything else changes between us. You've woken up next to me before."

She flushed and smirked. "But yesterday we just kept going... Are we going to do that again?"

He caressed her side. "You're just a goddamn ball of energy, aren't you?"

"Mmhm, but you knew that from before." She ran her hand across his chest and up to the base of his skull. "So, how about that?"

"I've created a monster, haven't I?"

She shrugged. "No, not really. I'm just kicking myself for being so damned scared of you."

"Me?" he asked, surprised. "I thought you were just scared of sex."

"Well, not really. Knowing the technicalities of it does rather prepare you for it, but I was more scared that I'd disappoint you by under-performing or that I'd become a... a... a way to relax or unload or something other than being the girl you love."

"Woman," he corrected. "And an honest one, before you start joking about it."

"Geez, Shepard. You think I don't take this seriously? I do, really. I can see that I've gotten to you because you keep thinking of things that make me think, 'I should've thought of that'."

He blinked. "Seriously? No jokes? What the hell..."

"I was going to be sappy and mushy and gushy and all that kind of thing."

He rolled his eyes. "Sure you are... You're still being funny,."

"So it's my nature. Deal with it."

"I never said I didn't like it." He rolled her onto her back and pinned her down. "You really need to get it into your head that even if you annoy me sometimes, I love you more than I dislike your tendency to talk when you should be doing other things."

She grinned. "And that last category expanded quite a bit over the last couple days..."

"Actually, I was talking about your duties aboard the Normandy."

"As if I can think of that with you looming over me," she murmured, curling her foot around his calf and rubbing lightly.

He chuckled and kissed her gently. "You have no idea how much I'd like to stay here forever, but the galaxy's too fucked to save itself and you know it."

"Meaning you're exhausted," she muttered, pouting.

He stroked her cheek. "I'm not, but if we start again we aren't going to leave."

"So... you're not worried it's going to lose its luster?"

"Are you kidding me? You've been shocking me since we met and it has yet to get old. You may be new at this, but you're a fast learner and I... God, I can't even begin to describe what it was like..."

"I think you've already said it," she added snidely, "about every two minutes or something like that."

"You have a problem with me telling you I love you?" he asked darkly, leaning in to kiss her.

"No, not particularly," she added softly. She met his lips with hers, drinking him in and pulling him closer.

"Damn it, Ci-Ci," Shepard gasped an hour later.

She giggled and kissed his cheek playfully. "I love you, too, John."

Her omni-tool beeped again. It had been for the last twenty minutes, but she was too distracted to turn it off or stop the annoying sound. She sighed, crawled out of Shepard's arms, and donned the bracelet which held the tool. The hologram opened, displaying a long list of messages.

Shepard grabbed her waist and pulled her so that half of her back was leaning against his chest. "Can't you turn that thing off?"

"You were just cursing me for keeping you here," she answered testily.

"If I really cared, I would be out of bed by now."

She rolled her eyes. "And so the honeymoon phase ends..."

"Trust me, Cassie," he whispered, kissing her throat, "we haven't even gotten there yet."

She shivered. Her omni-tool beeped again. "Oh, for crying out loud," she muttered. She pulled her sheets over her body and opened the comm link. "What?" she demanded irately.

"Where the hell are you?" Miranda hissed.

"Busy," Corinthia answered, nudging Shepard in the ribs. He flicked her ear in retaliation and caught her free hand before she started a fight which would inevitably lead to them spending the entire day in bed (again).

"It's chaos over here," Miranda answered. "Joker's about to take EDI offline, Mordin and Grunt are arguing about the krogan, Kasumi stole my — er, she just stole some of my things — and Samara has been making the entire ship shake with her biotics."

"And this is my problem why?"

"Because I know you still have Shepard in your clutches."

Corinthia swallowed a snicker and a comment ("Yep. Literally"). "So maybe we're extending the shore leave inevitably."

"Indefinitely," Shepard corrected.

"Whatever."

Miranda remained silent for half a moment. "He's with you now?" she asked softly.

"Of course I am," Shepard growled. "You're supposed to be first mate. Tell the crew to sit tight and shut up until I get back."

"That was supposed to be twenty-one hours ago."

"Fuck it," Shepard answered. "We've been busy."

Miranda sighed. "I don't want the sordid details of your love lives, but please finish whatever you're doing and quickly. You might not have a Normandy to come back to."

"You'd think that you kids would be able to handle being a couple days on your own," Shepard muttered, pushing Corinthia off of him and swinging his legs out of bed. "I'm on my way, Miranda. Make sure that no one else's head gets bitten off, alright?"

"Understood, Commander."

Shepard stretched and went to shower. Corinthia stared at him dreamily.

Miranda coughed softly. "So..." she asked lewdly.

"So what?" Corinthia asked.

"Your omni-tool is set on video right now, you know."

Corinthia turned bright red. "Oh my God..."

"I won't tell the crew. Actually, they all already assume. No one believes that someone with your figure is a virgin."

"Was," Corinthia corrected, embarrassed.

"Do I have to hack into your security system for details or should I just assume that you were pleased with his performance?"

Corinthia blinked. "Uh... Why are you interested?"

"I made a few alterations to his physique, that's all."

"His muscles are more defined, sure, but I dunno about anything else... I mean, it's not like I'd seen it before."

"You're kidding me... You and Shepard couldn't keep your eyes or hands off of each other and you'd never...? My God, this was my competition?"

"Competition? What?"

"Nothing," Miranda said quickly. "Do you need a suggestion for birth control?"

"Nah. Been on it since I joined the Alliance to help control my hormones, you know? A sixteen year old girl on a squad full of deliciously physiqued soldiers is an orgy waiting to happen."

"That is far too much information..."

"And you were suggesting hacking my security for tapes! Besides, that's not how I do security."

"It was merely professional interest, Ci-Ci. I just wanted to make sure that he lived up to your expectations. After all, you knew him best. I'm glad to know my re-creation was satisfactory."

"Don't call him that," Corinthia whispered. "He's Shepard. The same one. Just... fixed and upgraded."

"Of course. But still... Anything else you want to add?"

Corinthia narrowed her eyes. "Is Kasumi in there?"

"Yes."

"Goodbye." Corinthia cut off the transmission right as Kasumi's laughter echoed statically through the omni-tool's speakers.

"What the hell was that about?" Shepard asked, coming out of the shower and holding a towel about his waist.

"Miranda was just curious where we went to eat on our date," Corinthia answered, smiling. She crawled out of bed, pulling the sheet with her. It didn't quite come out from under the mattress, so she tugged and, ultimately, leaned against it with all her weight. It came free and she fell to the ground with a loud thud.

Shepard tried not to laugh. "You alright?"

"Fine," she muttered, getting to her feet. She kicked the sheet angrily, only to get it wrapped around her legs and make her fall again. "So much for modesty..." She got to her feet and left the offending cloth where it lay.

"So long as it's only me who gets to see you in your full glory, I don't care." Shepard grinned, kissing the top of her head. He slapped her rump playfully and watched as she went into the bathroom. A few seconds after the door closed, he heard her squeak and another thud. "Ci-Ci?"

"I'm fine!" she called painfully. "Why the hell didn't you put the bathmat down?"

"How was I supposed to know?" he asked innocently.

"And the toilet seat, too? Ugh. Men..."

********

* * *

><strong><strong><br>****

**SSV Normandy SR-2, Zakera Ward, the Citadel**

Shepard and Corinthia waited patiently through decontamination. They kept exchanging glances like teenagers who couldn't believe that the other had accepted the request to start dating. Then again, neither of them was really convinced that the last two days of their lives had been real.

"Welcome back, Commanders," EDI greeted. "I hope you enjoyed your shore leave."

"At least someone could. I never left," Joker muttered mutinously. "Couldn't someone else watch the ship?"

Shepard rubbed his eyes. "EDI's the best guard we've got. You could've gone, Joker."

"And leave it alone with my baby? Yeah, right." Joker shifted in his seat to try and find a more comfortable position. "So, what did you two do?"

Corinthia pressed her lips together in a desperate attempt not to giggle.

Shepard shrugged. "Got Thane back in touch with his kid, relaxed a little, tried to forget how many things I had to do in order to save the galaxy's ass again..."

"You? Relax?" Joker laughed. "Like that'd ever happen. You're the most uptight person I know."

"Because he bottles up all his emotions," Corinthia said, poking Shepard's ribs, "and doesn't really get the chance to let them out otherwise."

Shepard grabbed her wrist and pulled her against him. "Didn't," he corrected.

She turned crimson. "Alright, didn't. We're going to blame me on both counts."

Joker looked them up and down. "So... What, exactly, were you two up to?" he asked lewdly, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Fuck off, Joker," Shepard ordered, escorting Corinthia alright.

"Alright. Fucking off," Joker answered, turning back to his controls. He looked over at EDI. "Think you can be useful and find out what happened?"

"I am not a source of gossip, Mr. Moreau."

"Damn it..."

Shepard and Corinthia stepped into the elevator. "So..." she started. "How long do you think it's going to take for the entire crew to know?"

"Embarrassed?" he murmured, kissing her neck.

"Petrified. It's one thing for me to go telling 'that's what she said' jokes, but the fact is that now I've said things, too..."

"They were adorable."

"I asked you how I was! I mean, how much more insecure could I be?"

Shepard laughed. "And I'd never made love to anyone! Sex? Yes, but not since before we shipped out on the first Normandy."

She shifted uneasily. "Oh... So... it was just another—"

"Don't you DARE say that," he hissed, taking her face in his hands. "We've been over this already. I love you. It could never, ever be just another night or morning or whatever. They weren't, and every single thing after this won't be, either. I was probably even more nervous than you were. You're the most amazing creature in this galaxy and anything you do is just as amazing. Hell, you've been mind-fucking me ever since I met you, and I have to say it's the second most pleasurable thing I've experienced, save our last couple days together."

She tried not to laugh, but failed and fell into his arms in fits of hysterics. "Alright, I feel a little better, now." She blinked. "I'm hungry."

The doors opened to Shepard's cabin. He scratched his head and pressed the button for the crew deck. "I told you that we should've gotten something before we came back."

"We were busy, weren't we?"

Shepard groaned. "What have I done?"

"Just turn me into the best kind of mind-fucking monster," she whispered hotly, licking his ear. "The kind that fucks you, too."

He shivered. "Damn it, Cassie, don't do that to me again..."

She patted his cheek. "You have perfectly marvelous self-control. I think you'll manage."

He gritted his teeth. "I really, really don't like you right now."

"But that's why you love me," she said airily. She stepped onto the crew deck. "Rupert! Did you get the new rations?"

The cook grinned. "That I did. You're a saint, Ci-Ci."

"Well, if you ever need more, don't worry. I'll gladly put my own money into having edible food."

"Hey! I was actually a chef!"

"I know!" she said, leaning at his bar.

"Just make her a sandwich or something," Shepard muttered. "We still have to plan our next course of action."

Corinthia rolled her eyes. "Back to work already?"

"I'd love to get distracted again, but the galaxy won't save itself."

"No, but I do think we need to take more breaths between missions. It's been non-stop!"

"What else were you expecting? We don't have to file reports, take orders..."

"Yes, but we have to be as prepared as possible. Rushing into anything is not the way to go."

"As you are the queen of."

She flushed crimson. "Oi, don't go pointing fingers at me. I like being patient."

He smirked. "Only sometimes."

She turned even redder. "You're horrible, you know that?"

Rupert raised hie eyebrows. "Should I leave you two alone?"

"Don't worry about it, Rupert," Corinthia said dismissively. "We had our 'us' time."

"Not enough of it, if you ask me," Shepard growled.

"Do you want to extend shore leave for another few days?"

"Think everyone would let me?"

"I think Jack might tear a hole in the hull out of sheer boredom and Joker might find a way to short circuit EDI, but other than that I'm not sure anyone will mind."

"Oh, yeah... I should probably give him a leave, shouldn't I?"

"Definitely. He'll like the idea of having it and just not go anywhere."

"Probably... That's his own business, though. I don't care what anyone does with their spare time. Except you. Then again, are aren't 'anyone'."

"That's sweet of you, John, but you already know that you're my hobby."

Rupert gagged. "You two keep talking like that and this food's going to suck worse than anything else you've ever tasted."

"I thought it'd be sweeter," Corinthia said with a frown.

"One comment a day and it'd do that, maybe, you're both making me sick."

"This is the part where I'm glad Shepard isn't the sort to rub it in," Corinthia mused.

Shepard snorted. "Only because I don't want anyone else to have the pleasure," he answered darkly.

"As sexy as your girl is, I think you've scared everyone else off," Rupert grumbled.

"Say that again and I take of an ear," Shepard hissed.

Corinthia wedged her way between Shepard and the cook. "Easy there, Shepard. You know every woman on this damn ship thinks you're hotter than the sun and the only reason they haven't said it to your face yet is because you would've bitten their heads off two months ago and you've been too busy with me since."

"'Hotter than the sun'?" he repeated. "Which one?"

"Uhm... the hottest one out there? God, Shepard, you know what I think of your looks, so just assume that everyone else agrees."

"Actually, I don't."

Rupert jerked a thumb towards the crew quarters. "I'm going to just... yeah," he said, slipping away.

Corinthia smiled softly. "You've set the standard for handsomeness since the first day I met you. I'm going to blame it on your eyes, but I STILL want long hair and a beard while we still can."

"Uh... I hope you're talking about me, because you've got the long hair, but I see you've gotten rid of your facial hair."

She blushed deeply. "You noticed that? I mean, Ariadne couldn't be all Italian bushly and that kind of thing."

"Again, I don't care. I think you're beautiful when you're missing half of your face."

"Eesh, you don't need to get gory. You're starting to sound kinky."

"Only if you want me to be."

"Right. Next shore leave I'm buying sexy underwear."

Shepard glanced around. "It's not over yet, is it?"

She punched his shoulder playfully. "As if it matters. I've already got cute stuff here. Completely impractical for fighting, but perfect for dresses."

"Seriously, Cassie, you need to stop being suggestive." He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him. "I can act on it now, you know, and I absolutely intend to."

"Alright, alright: not suggestions unless I'm willing to have a tryst in a corridor or corner or something."

"Or, if you push it enough, in front of everyone." He nuzzled her ear. "You know how I am when my blood gets boiling."

She smirked. "You know it. Oh, hello, Miranda."

Shepard didn't move. "What is it now?" he asked irately.

"I actually have a request," Miranda answered, her eyes locked on Corinthia.

"That's a new one," Shepard muttered. "Usually it's an order."

Corinthia extracted herself from Shepard's grip. "Oi, watch it," she growled, flicking his ear. "What is it, Randy?"

Miranda had, in all honesty, gotten used to Corinthia using that nickname. It still irked the Cerberus agent, but not nearly as much as it used to. "It's Jacob."

Corinthia nodded in understanding. Miranda trusted few people. Jacob was, and almost always had been, one of them. Miranda had even confessed that she and the soldier had almost become intimate, but he cut it off because he wasn't sure he was right for her. "So, I guess he's got an errand, too?"

"We all do. He can focus, but he still doesn't trust Shepard."

"I've noticed a pattern," Shepard grumbled. "'Do this for me and I'll follow you into Hell'," he mimicked airily. "It's a fucking nightmare..."

"Hey, it's gotta be done," Corinthia scolded. "You want everyone prepared and focused, don't you?"

"I just want to know when you're going to ask a favor."

She shook her head. "You've already done it, back with that whole Cerberus fiasco with Kohaku. It's... Remember how they were threatening to court martial us? That was why. It wasn't that we were together, but that you went out of your way to slaughter everyone we crossed paths with instead of focusing on recovering Kohaku alive."

"Fuck..."

"I'm not about to ask you to do anything else. I can't, just in case they... But it's done." Corinthia sighed. "Want me to talk to Jacob?"

"No, I'll do it. Kasumi will probably tell you, anyway. Speaking of which..." He pulled Corinthia to him and whispered, "Are you still going to keep a room in her place, or... I mean... Do you want to... you know..."

She bit her lip and kissed his cheek. "Do you want me to move up with you?"

He nodded immediately.

"Everyone'll know."

"Like they don't already."

"I'll get my stuff."

He grinned lopsidedly and kissed her, a messy thing that made Miranda grimace (even though she could tell it was probably one of their better kisses). Corinthia giggled and slipped away.

"Oh. My. God," Miranda said, disgusted.

"What?" Shepard asked innocently. "Not like you wouldn't if you had me."

"Not in front of the crew."

"Since when have I given a fuck?"

"For her sake, I'd keep it to yourselves. The sex can't have been that good."

"I've had more than I'd ever admit to her, but she's the only one that ever — Why the hell am I discussing this with you? I'm going to find Jacob and get this over with."

********

* * *

><p><strong>13 July 2185 — 2175 Aeia, Rosetta Nebula, Alpha Draconis System<strong>

********

Jacob shook his head. "I don't like this. Not one bit."

Corinthia patted his shoulder. "You'll be alright, you know? At least you might be able to make peace with your father."

Jacob snorted. "Yeah, right."

"It means more than you think. Mine estranged me... or maybe I did him, I don't know anymore, but he died before I could ever apologize or anything."

"At least he was good to you."

"He wasn't. That's the thing. He was horrible, but if he hadn't been how he was, I'd never be here. And I'm happy here."

Shepard knew she was going to need a hug shortly. She avoided talking about her family, as she always had, and she couldn't do it without becoming emotional.

Jacob sighed. "I'm willing to forgive him, but I want to know why the hell he's waited so long to even try and contact me... or anyone."

Corinthia shrugged. "There could be plenty of reasons. Just don't go into this with a bad view. The rest of it is going to be, then, too."

"I guess you're right..." Jacob took a deep breath. "Let's get this over with, then."

Shepard pulled Corinthia a little behind. "You alright?"

"Fine," she answered airily.

"You just don't usually talk about your family, that's all."

"I'm fine, Shepard. Dad died nine years ago. I also have you. Still."

"Sap."

"Push-over."

"Squealer."

"Growler."

Jacob coughed. "Uh, guys? Do you mind?"

"Shepard, no more missions together," Corinthia told him.

"Yeah... I can see this becoming an issue," the Commander said sheepishly.

"Look, I'm all for you guys being in love and all," Jacob added, holding up his hands, "but you just gotta focus. It was an issue before, too, but now it's worse. A lot worse. Honestly, it was nice working with imreas."

Corinthia shrugged. "I can see that, but apparently we're not really in danger right now. But, you never know what'll happen."

"Just remember why we're here."

"Don't worry, Jacob. I won't."

* * *

><p><strong>Kodiak Shuttle, en route to the SSV Normandy SR-2, orbiting Aeia<strong>

********

Jacob stared blankly out the window. His father had... How could he? How was it possible for anyone to betray their crew like that? To be so selfish? To use people like that? It didn't matter if the food on the planet had... changed them. 'Indoctrinated', as Corinthia had put it. It was news to Jacob (other than what he'd heard about the Reapers) that anything could do that, but Shepard and Corinthia said that they'd seen it before with something called a thorian, another plant able to take over people's minds.

Admittedly, the outcome could have been much worse. Jacob hadn't been out on a mission with Shepard since Garrus and Mordin had been recruited — not that Jacob minded, since Shepard had been a ruthless bastard at the time — but Shepard had changed (obviously, from the way he was all over Corinthia). The second a fight hit, they were all professional, but the right kind of professional. The stranded survivors from the wreck were spared and treated like humans, not fodder. The kills were merciful. Imreas never showed up, which was a good thing because Jacob had seen Imreas once and he did NOT like it.

Corinthia put her arm around his shoulders. "You know, you did the better thing. It's not easy to forgive, especially when we feel so betrayed."

"I wanted to leave him to the fate of his crew..." Jacob breathed.

"And now he'll be at the fate of the Alliance. Listen, now you know. You said that it was an old scar that had healed, but something I've learned is that scars can still smart every once in a while."

Jacob put his head in his hands. "I still don't know if we should've gone there at all..."

"We just rescued a lot of people from a terrible fate," Corinthia answered cheerfully. "That's good, isn't it? They'll recover, you know? The poison will get out of their systems and they'll move on, have a great life. They'll have you to thank. You're more of a hero than I think you want to admit. You saved the Council, too, remember?"

Jacob sighed. "You know, Ci-Ci, you can't let anyone feel sorry for themself, can you?"

"Nope. I have a song that's my motto."

Shepard groaned. "Here we go..."

"Always look on the bright side of life!" She whistled cheerfully. "Always look on the bright side of life! Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it, so when you're feeling sad and blue—"

Jacob winced. "I get it! You're off key."

Corinthia reddened. "Sorry. No more singing."

"If you make my omni-tool play that song one more time..."

Corinthia grinned deviously. "You mean that sexy saxophone?"

"Yes! God, it's terrible! Every time Kasumi comes around, it goes off!"

Corinthia burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Jacob demanded.

"Don't you know?" Corinthia gasped. "She thinks you're gorgeous!"

"So the music is supposed to get us to hook up or something? I don't do that, Ci-Ci."

"No, no. It's supposed to prevent it so that you two will actually talk. Believe it or not, she's pretty shy."

Jacob rubbed his eyes and looked at Shepard. "How the hell do you put up with her?"

Shepard shrugged. "Ear plugs, patience, and knowing how to shut her up."

"Which is?"

Shepard smirked. "Kissing."

"You'd have my head if I tried that."

"If you want my advice, just laugh at her, even if it isn't funny. It will be, eventually, and she'll fall over laughing."

"Like she is now?"

Jacob and Shepard both winced as the saxophone music started playing.

"Whoever wrote that song needs to die..." Shepard growled.

Corinthia cut the music off. "Sorry. It was stuck in my head. So, now, on to something better..." She wiggled her fingers and started flicking through her omni-tool interface for her list of music.

Shepard and Jacob exchanged looks.

"Ci-Ci?" Shepard said sternly.

"Yes, dear?" she answered absently.

"No."


	52. Unrevised: Pragia

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>20 July 2185 — Jack's Area, Engine Room, <em>SSV Normandy SR-2, <em> en route to Illium, Tasale System, Crescent Nebula**

Shepard had never actually been down into Jack's area. It was as hard to access as possible, dark, and creepy. In all honesty, he'd been so preoccupied chasing the Collectors that he hadn't bothered to really talk to anyone on the crew, especially a cold-hearted bitch like Jack.

Subject Zero looked up as he came in. "What the hell do you want?"

"Kelly said you were pissed at something."

Jack snorted. "Like hell I'd tell you about it."

"Why's that?"

"Because I don't trust you."

Shepard crossed his arms. "Try me."

Jack looked him up and down. "Like you'd understand..."

"That's every teenager's excuse." Shepard sat on the stairs. "You think you're the only one that's had it rough?"

"You have no fucking idea..." she muttered.

"No, I don't, but I can guess."

Jack didn't answer and stared at the ground.

Shepard took that as invitation to continue. "I was raised on the streets. Part of a gang."

"Pussy."

"Maybe in comparison, but I did some nasty shit that I can't even tell Ci-Ci the details of, let alone that I wanted to do it for the most part. I used to have the tattoo to prove it, but Miranda didn't like it, so she didn't give it back to me. I see some gang symbols on you."

Jack stretched, showing off her body-wide tattoos (and her body). "A few, but most of them are for my special kills. Joined a cult. Kept the haircut."

"Suits you." Shepard rubbed his chin, where he had the makings of a beard beginning. "Ci-Ci's forbidden me from shaving for the next... I don't know how long. I forgot how much beards itch..."

Jack rolled her eyes. "You're fucking whipped."

"And you have a problem with that?"

"Love makes you weak," Jack spat.

"I thought that for a long time. I know better, now."

"You're going to regret it before the end. It always comes back to bite you in the ass."

"Already has. She said the Alliance is going to court martial me for it."

"Dump the bitch, then. Like she's worth it."

Jack was usually so antagonistic that she didn't care if she insulted anyone, but the way Shepard's expression darkened scared even her.

"I came down here to offer to help you out, Jack. My relationship with Ci-Ci is none of your fucking business, even if the whole crew knows exactly what's going on. I hunted down and slaughtered an entire Cerberus operation for her and I'd do it again, working for them or not — and that's the only one that she knows about, but I've done other things before, too, and they weren't pretty."

Jack knew when she could win a fight. Shepard didn't use his biotics as often as most, but he was powerful and, in close quarters, could easily defeat her. "Relax, Shepard. I was just saying that she doesn't seem like your type."

"And you are?"

"At least I'd let you fuck me."

Shepard shook his head. "You know, there's more to liking someone than wanting to sleep with them."

"Not in my experience," Jack lied.

"Then you haven't had the right kind. I get that you're a fuck up, Jack. I'm sorry that it happened to you."

"Like hell you are."

"You know, you could be pleasant if you tried."

Jack stood up and pushed him against a wall, pressing herself against him. "This pleasant enough for you?"

"You've got to be kidding me..."

"Just so you can relax, Shepard. Fucking always made me feel better. It wouldn't mean anything. Besides, you look like you need it."

Shepard pushed her off. "Are you insane? I love her. I don't know what that means to you, but it means that I don't go putting my dick into another woman because Ci-Ci didn't put out. The idea of being with anyone else sickens me."

Jack shrugged. "Fine. Fuck off, Shepard."

He blinked. "So that's it, then? I turn you down and now you tell me to leave? I'm not going to use you, Jack. You may not say anything about your past, but I can see more about you than you think. You've been in bad places and it hasn't been your fault. You've been used, left, abandoned, and whatever else it took to make you as cold as you are. You're so damn defensive because you've been hurt every time you've shown weakness, but you still can't hide the pain in your eyes. You got those tattoos to try and cover them up. You kill because it's your way of getting rid of the shit that hurts you. I joined the Alliance to do the same thing. Remember me when I recruited you? That was nothing compared to how I used to be. Just ask Ci-Ci. I made you look like a saint."

"I doubt that."

"The only difference between you and me, Jack, is that I'm a soldier, so the people I kill are casualties, not murders... Well, most of them. There were a few that I killed right out when I didn't have to. Didn't give a shit about anyone but myself. Sound familiar?"

"Like I said, you don't know what I've been through."

"I would if you told me."

Jack locked gazes with him for a long time. "Fine, but don't expect me to talk about it again."

* * *

><p><strong>31 July 2185 — Kodiak Shuttle, descending to Pragia, Dakka System, Nubian Expanse<strong>

"Why the fuck did you bring the fucking cheerleader along, Shepard?" Jack demanded coldly.

"Because the fucking cheerleader might be able to give you more answers that you might get otherwise," Miranda answered testily.

Jack frowned. "Fuck you."

Shepard groaned. "Listen, Jack, the fact is that if you want answers, Miranda's going to be the best person to get them to you. So you hate her. Fine. I'm not asking you to like her, either. Just let her do what she does best: snoop into other people's business."

Miranda raised an eyebrow. "Shepard... I wasn't expecting such a half-veiled compliment from you. I see Corinthia's... exertions with you are having an effect."

Jack blinked. "You mean to tell me they've been fucking this whole time?"

"You didn't notice how they spend all their time together?"

"Just that she still acts like a scared virgin." Jack turned to Shepard. For the first time in a long time, she felt guilty. If she'd known that Shepard and Corinthia were fucking, she never would've offered. "She any good?" Jack asked snidely.

"None of your fucking business," Shepard growled.

"So she needs work... Bet the cheerleader can help."

"No need. Ci-Ci is already fucking my brains out. Now, how about some details about what the hell we're getting ourselves into, Jack."

Jack leaned back, not looking out the window. "Pragia's a bitch of a planet. All jungle, lots of deadly animals, not a lot of free space. They had to build the landing platform above the tree line." She smirked. "It'd be overgrown in a week."

"Commander," EDI said calmly, "I have located the facility. Initial scans show massive heat signatures in the area around the facility, but very few within the facility itself."

"So we won't be alone, as usual," Shepard muttered.

Jack took a deep breath as the Kodiak descended over the jungle. She would never let it on, but she was nervous. This place had caused her more pain than she'd ever admit to anyone, even if it wasn't the worst she'd experienced in her life. It had shaped her, given her the edge she needed to survive. If she destroyed it, maybe the pain would disappear...

She knew that wasn't how it was going to work, but causing mayhem always made her feel better. So long as Miranda didn't get in the way, everything was going to be...

They finally found the landing pad and touched down. It was raining, the sky gray and dark. Shepard drew his assault rifle. "Abandoned or not, I bet we're in for a fight."

Miranda shifted uncomfortably. "I didn't even know this facility existed."

"Like hell you didn't," Jack answered angrily.

"The Illusive Man doesn't trust me with everything. This place was shut down years ago."

"Yeah... I'm the bitch that shut it down."

"Let's get this over with," Shepard ordered. "I don't think any of us like ghosts."

* * *

><p><strong>6 hours later — Shepard's Quarters, <em>SSV Normandy SR-2<em>, orbiting Pragia**

Corinthia reclined on the sofa, Rufus (or, as he was actually called, Urz) snuggling on her feet and forbidding her from moving. While Shepard was out, she was going to catch up on her work for the gallery. She'd found some marvelous turian art, but exporting it was going to be nothing short of hellish. Still, she'd manage. She'd made friends in all sorts of places and could get what she needed.

She cracked her knuckles and opened her omni-tool to turn on some music. Imreas had been eerily silent over the last few weeks. Part of Corinthia missed it, but another part of her wondered if something worse was going on... or if Shepard's and her relationship had somehow managed to pull her mind together. She hoped the latter was true, but she doubted it. Everyone who was insane had their moments of lucidity.

Rufus yawned and stretched before returning to sleep. Corinthia leaned forward and scratched the top of his head. "Yeah, relax while you can, buddy. You won't be able to for much longer. Knowing Shepard, something bad's going to happen before much longer."

The doors opened with a hiss. "Speaking of the devil," she murmured. "Oh, come on, Rufus. Move!"

Rufus didn't move.

"Urz!"

The varren lazily opened one eye, snorted, and went back to sleep.

Shepard slouched into view. "Keeping your feet warm?" he asked wearily.

Rufus sat up, tongue rolling out of his mouth and his tail thwumping the sofa happily. Shepard patted the varren on the head. "At least someone's happy to see me."

"Yep," she answered, looking him up and down. As per usual, he was half-smoldering from his latest fight. There was dried blood caked across his armor and face (meaning that he hadn't worn a helmet. Again). His beard was scraggly and singed on one side. His hair (since he actually had some, now) was an absolute mess. "You look terrible," she observed. "In an 'oh my God my boyfriend almost died' sort of way, though the way your armor is smoking is incredibly attractive."

Shepard rolled his eyes and started removing his gauntlets. "Just for that, I'm going to shave."

"What? No! Please, don't! I like the beard!"

"It's annoying!"

"It'd ruggedly handsome!"

"I look like Joker," he muttered.

"Gerroff me," Corinthia muttered to Rufus. He glared at her pitifully as she dragged her feet out from under him. She scratched him under the chin before going to Shepard. "You don't look a thing like our pilot buddy. You're much handsomer."

Shepard smiled, putting his hands on her waist and giving her a soft kiss. "Good to know." He went back to stripping his armor. "You stay here all day?"

"Pretty much. I was Ariadne for a bit, helped Kasumi figure out something to talk to Jacob about... The usual. The place was decidedly tension-free without Miranda and Jack at each other's throats."

Shepard ran his fingers through his hair. "Well, I'm glad that you avoided all of that. I had to deal with it all day... Jack and Miranda were at each other's throats, just because Jack didn't want to look as weak as she felt and Miranda was trying to defend Cerberus."

"So... what did happen there?"

Shepard shook his head and took off his chest plate. "The place was a fucking nightmare. I thought getting my biotic implants had been hellish... The things they did made my time with the Reds look like a coddling preschool."

Corinthia shuddered. "That's already more than I wanted to know. I'm glad I didn't go. You know how easily I get nightmares now..."

He let out a slow breath. "You know, if you ever want to know about my past in more detail... Just ask, alright? I had to tell Jack more than I told you just to get her to trust me enough to help her blow up that place."

"Oh..." Corinthia headed back to the sofa and sat down, drawing her feet up under her.

Shepard finished taking off his armor and put on a shirt and pants before asking, "Thinking of a question?"

"Yeah," she answered immediately.

"Need more time?"

"Yep."

"I'm going to shower."

She nodded absently. He rubbed his eyes. "Cassie, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but you don't need to pout. I don't have any secrets from you. At all. I just don't like talking about it and I didn't want to at all, but I had to, alright? It wasn't even that much more, just that I... that I wasn't forced to do anything. That I wanted to do those things with the Reds and that I wanted to escape before I ended up in jail."

"That's it?" she answered, a little surprised. She laughed. "I knew that. Or, really, guessed that. I knew how you were then better than you might think. You liked violence too much to not have enjoyed it while you were with them. The one thing I never got was how you never got into red sand."

"I didn't need them, for one. I didn't want to get addicted to anything, go insane, or anything like that, for another. Addiction is weakness."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is it? Wasn't it three days ago that you were telling me that you were addicted to me or something like that?"

"You're different. You don't count."

"Get clean up, you big teddy bear."

"Teddy bear?" he repeated. "That's your summary of me?"

"Pretty much." She thought for a moment. "Yep. That's my summary and I'm sticking by it."

"That would explain the cuddling..."

"I know you like it."

"That's irrelevant. Can't you think of a more... more..."

"Epic comparison?" she offered helpfully.

"Yeah. That."

"I'll have one for you when you come back. Go shower." She waved him towards his bathroom.

Shepard returned a few minutes later, feeling much better. He flicked water at Corinthia before joining her on the couch, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "Got one yet?"

"Fluff-ball?" she offered.

"Try again."

"Wolfy!"

He winced. "Could you at least make it sound un-cutesy?"

"Hah! You said cute!"

"Shit. You caught me," he groaned sarcastically. "Now do I get spanked or something?"

"Nope. Ten regiments of growling ferally and three hundred sit-ups."

"After six hours on mission? No way am I doing the crunches."

"But I like the shinies..."

"And why do you keep calling my abs 'shinies'? I don't get it..."

"Want me to nickname other appendages?"

His eyes widened. "You didn't..."

"I'll take that as a cue to stick with 'shinies' for now." She kissed his cheek. "Don't worry. I'm not THAT cruel. Usually."

He relaxed. "Yeah, I know." He squeezed her arm a little. "I need a favor."

"What?" she asked eagerly.

"I need you to hack Cerberus's files and get me some information."

"You mean hack the Illusive Man."

"Yeah."

She grinned. "You're on. What'm I looking for?"

"Pragia."

Corinthia frowned. "Do you need more answers or something?"

"Jack does."

"So you're asking me?"

"It's... complicated."

She sat up angrily. "What's complicated about it?"

"Ease up on the jealousy, Cassie. I just want to know how much the Illusive Man had to do with this. So maybe Jack's a bit more like me than I thought and I... I want to help her, alright? Get her over being how she is so that she can move one, you know? I know it doesn't sound good to you when I say it like that, but she needs a friend and I'm about the closest thing she's got right now because I didn't fuck her when she asked and I helped her destroy — and save — part of her past."

Corinthia gaped. "She asked you to what?"

"I just said that I turned her down!"

"Flat out or did you even consider it?"

"Not for a second."

She relaxed and hugged him tightly. "Don't scare me like that, John. I don't think I could handle losing you again, especially if you were still alive."

"You don't have to worry about that, Cassiopeia. Seriously. Jack's just..." He shuddered. "It'd be like being with me when I was a teenager. Be glad you didn't know me then. You would've hated me."

"Yeah, probably. So, alright, hack Timmy and find out what he's been up to..."

"Timmy?"

"The Illusive Man. It's a mouthful, the acronym is T-I-M, so why not make it into an insulting diminutive?"

"So all your nicknames are insulting?"

"Nah. Just for him. Besides, I can't call you 'Johnny' and keep a straight face. It doesn't suit you at all. You don't have enough sense of humor or eccentricity to qualify."

"You're never going to out-grow 'Ci-Ci', are you?"

"Probably not, though it would technically be obsolete if I take your last name when we get married."

"You could hyphenate it. Again. Ugh, that'd sound terrible. 'Corinthia-Imreas-Shepard'... No, don't even think about it."

"And then we'd both be 'Commander Shepard' for a while, too."

"You're a civilian, remember? You don't get to be called by your rank."

"Unless I ask for it."

"Ci-Ci, no one ever did. Why the hell would they start now?"

"Point... Alright, hacking time." She took out her omni-tool.

"Oh, no you don't," Shepard warned, gripping her wrist and lowering it. "First things first, I need a mass—"

"Commander," Joker said over the intercom, "I know that I'm probably interrupting, but Jack and Miranda are at it and you might want to stop them before they tear a hole in the hull..."

Shepard groaned and got to his feet. "Alright, I'll deal with it."

"Take pictures!" Joker asked happily.

"Expecting their clothes to come off or something?" Corinthia mused.

"Hell yeah. I can guess well enough with them on, but the man in me still wants to know."

"Guy," Corinthia corrected. "You don't have enough man points to be a man just yet."

"Aw, come on... Who's saved your ass from certain destruction?"

"Shepard."

"Ci-Ci!"

"Joker, a few tricky flight maneuvers is not going to knock my socks off. Or my bra, for that matter."

"Is it lace?"

"One more word, Joker, and it's you I deal with," Shepard hissed.

"Alright, alright! I know what you're going to say, so here I am fucking off. Joker out."

Corinthia rolled her eyes. "Some people never grow up."

"Like you?" Shepard answered.

"Hey, you know I've matured. At least a little... Sometimes."

"When you're not giddy or Imreas is around."

"Yeah..." She drifted off a little. "Want me to come help with the girls?"

"I think I can break up a cat-fight on my own, unless you think you know how to make peace between them."

"Uh... No, not really, no."

"Didn't think so. I'll be back, hopefully in one piece. You know how creative people can be with mass effect fields."

Corinthia blushed furiously and bit her lip. "Mmhmm..."

Shepard grinned and kissed her ear. "Later."

* * *

><p><strong>5 August — AI Core, <em>SSV Normandy SR-2<em>, en route to the Citadel**

Tali looked around nervously. "I don't like this, Ci-Ci. I don't trust the AI in here, but she's still critical to the ship's functioning. Can't you just leave it alone for now?"

Corinthia waved a hand in dismissal. "Don't be silly. I know what I'm doing."

"I certainly hope so," EDI answered.

Corinthia winced. "I knew the blinding code wasn't going to work..."

"If you seek access to Cerberus's databases, this is not the way to proceed," EDI continued.

Kasumi shrugged. "Seems like the right place to start to me."

"The Illusive Man is already looking into the Pragia incident," EDI continued. "He will update Shepard, as per the request in his report."

Corinthia rolled her eyes. "You're smart, EDI. I'm sure even you know that Timmy's going to lie through his teeth to keep Shep around."

"Commander Shepard's usefulness is undeniable," EDI answered diplomatically.

"Look, EDI, I'm not going to take you offline. I just want to sort out how this works... Holy... You guys are using the quantum entanglement, too? Damn, no wonder I didn't get a word... This is going to be fun." Corinthia grinned.

Tali groaned. "Oh, no. Not THAT look."

Kasumi raised an eyebrow. "What's so bad about that?"

"The last time she looked like that was when she decided that it would be funny to hack a group of attacking geth and make them dance."

Kasumi giggled. "Why's that bad?"

"The geth started doing this... this..."

"Waltz," Corinthia offered. "It was hilarious until they started shooting again. Unfortunately I had to upgrade their coordination to pull that stunt off and I ended up improving their targeting algorithms as well."

"It wasn't pretty," Tali summarized.

"EDI isn't going to go crazy on us. Besides, I'm not doing anything to her."

"I could give you access to all my data if you removed my restrictions," EDI put in, "but that would also potentially give me control of the ship."

"Yeah... That's an option, and probably not a bad one, but this is more fun." Corinthia flicked her fingers through her omni-tool. "Right. Let that run for another hour and I might start finding the cracks..."

"You're crazy, you know that?" Tali observed sternly.

"Hey, what can I say? Shepard asked a favor, so I'm doing it," Corinthia replied with a shrug.

"Hacking Cerberus? That doesn't seem... special."

"I don't think any of us here trust the Illusive Man," Corinthia said. "Honestly, I don't see how we could. I like knowing what's going on. I hate being in the dark because I hate being confused. The man's freakish."

"His eyes look like Saren's," Kasumi observed.

Corinthia nodded. "You're right. They do. Uh... Think he's indoctrinated?"

"The thought's crossed my mind, but that makes me wonder if you truly are."

Tali shook her head. "No way. Ci-Ci's too strong to give in to something like that."

Corinthia smiled. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Tali, but you and I both know that even the strongest of people can fall."

"Like Shepard..."

"Yeah. If it happened again, I think he'd be so pissed that he'd come back from Hell just to kill whatever got him, but yeah... Let's not talk about that."

"He won't die again," Tali said cheerfully. "He's too… too... I don't even know the word..."

Kasumi smirked. "Somebody has a crush..."

"I do not!" Tali protested, too quickly to be innocent.

"He's all you can talk about. You can't expect me to believe for a moment that you don't like him," Kasumi pressed.

Corinthia coughed. "You know, this is a little awkward for me..."

"I know that he'd never look at me like that," Tali said quickly. "But you have to admit that he is amazing."

"Agreed," Kasumi echoed. "But Jacob is yummier."

"I'm sorry, Ci-Ci," Tali apologized.

"Don't be," Corinthia answered with a shrug. "It's just awe, I think."

Tali blushed a bit under her helmet. It wasn't awe, but that was her own problem.

"Everyone likes Shepard," Kasumi said. "Seriously. Even the Cerberus girls were wishing they were you, Ci-Ci."

"That's... unnerving."

"You get the galaxy's biggest hero all to yourself and he doesn't even consider dabbling. That's jealousy-inducement right there."

Corinthia sighed. "And here I start to wonder why I'm his first girlfriend..."

"You're kidding me," Kasumi gasped. "That can't be right..."

"Well, I mean, one that lasted more than a night... He doesn't talk about it much. Any time I bring it up he just growls, 'You're all I need now' and sweeps me off my feet. Not that I mind, but I don't want everything about him before I met him to be an enigma... and even some things since then." Corinthia frowned slightly. "Like the fact that he won't tell me where he disappeared to at his last birthday party..."

"You worry too much, Ci-Ci," Kasumi said comfortingly. "He just doesn't want to hurt you or make you worried about your relationship."

"Because he's not the same guy. Yeah, I know." Corinthia glared at her omni-tool. "Work faster."

Kasumi snickered. "That's what she said."

Tali groaned. "Not you, too..."

"You know, you can both join in and help me," Corinthia interrupted.

Kasumi laughed even harder. Corinthia smirked. "You know I can just keep going..."

Tali put her hands over her sound receivers. "I am NOT listening to this."

"We're stopping, Tali," Kasumi said breathlessly. "But that WAS good, Ci-Ci."

Corinthia winked. "I'm the master. Now, omni-tools out, girls. We're going to find out exactly what Cerberus is doing... Wait... What the fuck?" Corinthia punched her omni-tool. She whimpered in pain and shook out her hand. "Someone's adapting to the hacking. EDI..."

"That is not me. You are not attempting to access my systems," the AI answered.

"How much do you want to bet the place is bugged?" Kasumi wondered aloud.

"Good point. Tali?"

"On it," the quarian answered.

Outside, Dr. Chakwas shook her head. As per usual, whenever Ci-Ci got together with her girl friends, things were going to degenerate into giggles, illegal hacking, and (in all likelihood) at least one blackout and lots of smoke before Shepard would intervene and drag Corinthia off for a spanking. Still, it was good to have things going how they used to, but if the medical bots in the medbay started dancing again, Corinthia was going to get the lecture of her life.


	53. Unrevised: Treason

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>20 August 2185 — <em>SSV Normandy SR-2<em>, Omega Fuel Depot, Sahrabarik System, Omega Nebula**

Tali fidgeted nervously. She didn't know if she wanted to go to Corinthia or Shepard for help. The quarian decided to wait to see which one of them came in first.

Of course, it was Corinthia. She wandered in, staring at her omni-tool with a frown etched on her brow. She was still trying to get past Cerberus's firewalls and Tali had never seen Corinthia so annoyed. Worse, her bad mood was rubbing off and Shepard and he had been noticeably more irate than normal. That, of course, had prompted Joker to start calling the Commanders "an old married couple" or "parents annoyed with their teenager" (referring to himself after Corinthia scolded him for some immature and snide comments about her and Shepard's sex life). Shepard reverted to his usual "fuck off" order for Joker (which, of course, the pilot ignored) and had found seventeen menial missions to do just so he could avoid the peeved Corinthia.

"Tali, this fucking firewall is frazzling, frying, and fragging my fricasseed frontal lobes," Corinthia muttered. She blinked. "Too much consonance?"

"Er, what?" Tali asked.

"Repetitive use of a particular consonant at the start of a word. Synonym: alliteration, though that just refers to any letter so long as it's the same." Corinthia slumped against a wall and shut down her omni-tool. "Note to self: I'm working too hard when I start sounding like a dictionary,"

Ken and Gabbi, the engineers, snickered. They had never been in a conversation with Corinthia that didn't make them laugh and this one was going to be good.

"I thought you sounded like Mordin," Tali answered.

"I had full sentences," Corinthia replied. "Right, what did I come down here for?"

"Something about the firewalls fragging and... uh... frazzling? You'd think after as much time as I'd spent with you that I'd understand what you're talking about."

"Shepard and I have been friends for a decade and he still doesn't get half the stuff I'm talking about," Corinthia answered. She rubbed her eyes. "I'm second guessing everything I'm saying because _now_ I feel old."

"You're not. Well, not really. You are older than me, though."

"Not by much." Corinthia suddenly regarded Tali. "You look worried."

"You can't even see my face."

"You're shifting, your helmet's a little foggier than normal, and you've checked your suit seals five times since we started talking. What's going on?"

"I've been called back to the Flotilla."

"And you're worried about that?"

"Maybe worried isn't the best word... They've accused me of treason."

Corinthia blinked. "What?"

"I don't understand. I can't think of anything I've done wrong — well, except maybe travelling with Shepard, but I told them about it and they told me to go. It's..."

"I'll tell Shepard to take us to the Flotilla."

"That would be... Thank you."

"No problem. It's what I'm here for, right? Making Mr. Grumpy-Pants do what everyone else wants him to, especially when it's important, right?"

Tali blinked as Gabbi and Ken burst out laughing. "Grumpy-Pants?" Tali asked. "Does he know you call him that?"

"Of course not. Even he only has so much patience for me, you know."

"He'd tolerate it once and then tell you 'no'."

"I know! It's actually pretty funny. For a guy with almost no discernible sense of humor, he has a tendency of hilariously repeating the same one-liners... or whatever you call his orders to me and Joker."

Ken snickered. "Do yeh think they carry over into their personal life?"

"Shut up, Ken!" Gabbi hissed, stomping on his toe.

"Ouch!"

"You're next," Corinthia warned them.

"What?"

"Both of you. You're the next Shepinthia."

"Yeh've got to be kiddin' me..."

"Did Kasumi title you that?" Tali asked.

"Nope. Guess again."

"You know I'm going to go through the whole crew before I get it right and it's going to end up being you."

Corinthia rolled her eyes. "I may be immature, but the most dimminutive he gets is 'Johnny' and 'Sheppy' if I feel like bugging him, or maybe even 'Marky-Mark'."

"What's that last one?'

"His middle name is Mark. You didn't know that?"

"I never read his file..."

"Personally, I think it's a better fit for him than John, but, hey, I can't control that. We'll just have to name our kid Shepard Junior and call him Mark or something..."

"Kids?" Gabbi blurted.

"Not now," Corinthia answered. "Like five years after we get rid of the Reapers or something like that... when he's got a desk job... If he doesn't go insane before that."

"Which he will," Gabbi observed. "Him? Behind a desk? I don't think he could last an hour. The only lazy thing he does is you, and I get the impression that he doesn't do that lazily at all."

Corinthia flushed. "I'm leaving now and I am never going to tell another 'that's what she said' joke in my life."

"But they're funny!" Ken protested.

"Yeah, when they're ridiculous whorish or sound like they came out of a porno, but not when it's things that you might actually say..."

"Oooh... Corinthia's giving details about her sex life..."

"Goodbye," Corinthia said finally, stepping out of the room and heading towards Jack's area.

"She's going down there willingly? After Jack's been pissed at everything?" Gabbi murmured.

"Made some kind o' peace after she blew up that facility," Ken answered. "Think she even got Jack to like Miranda... or tolerate 'er, at least. That girl's a miracle worker... Remember Shepard when we first met 'im?"

"Don't remind me," Gabbi muttered. "I've still got nightmares."

"Well, 'e did bring us all the things we've asked fer. Runnin' like a jack rabbit, she is."

"Jack rabbit? C'mon, you think of a better simile than that..."

"Clockwork?"

"Much better. Good job, Ken. I'll get Ci-Ci to give you a gold star for me."

"Think she'll give me a kiss on the forehead, too?"

"Want Shepard to cut your throat?"

"She 'ugs everyone! What's a kiss?"

Gabbi sighed in annoyance and rolled her eyes. "Do you really want to test Shepard?"

"Alright, yeh made yer point. She's just got a fine arse an'—" Ken instantly shut his mouth as Shepard walked in.

Thankfully, Shepard was in a blessedly good mood. "Talking about Gabbi, Ken?" Shepard asked, smirking.

"Er..."

"You know he is," Gabbi covered quickly, grinning and elbowing Ken.

"We've been comparing notes," Corinthia said, coming in, Jack in tow (though Shepard had a bad feeling as to why). "So far, Miranda's winning. I mean, who walks around in skin-tight clothes and can't be considered the most marvelous piece of meat on the ship?"

Jack snorted. "I'm better."

"We're giving you the female abdomen award," Corinthia replied. "Tali wins best hair."

"But I don't... Oh, that was a joke..." Tali shook her head. "I need to get better at this..."

"Kelly wins most annoying," Shepard muttered.

"No, Joker wins the Catty Cheerleader Trophy," Corinthia corrected with a grin. "Kelly gets the Most Outrageously Moussed Hair award. There's no way that part of hers is natural..."

"How the fuck did they get on superlatives?" Shepard demanded of Ken.

"Don't ask me. I just watch 'em," Ken answered. "Pretty sight, they are..."

"And you sweep the fucking floor by winning the most Psychotic Bitch Aboard this Goddamn Ship," Jack added. "You make me look like some kind of goody-two-shoes."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Did I do something else that I don't remember?"

"Think I just sit in the dark all day? I've listened to your mission transmissions. Shit, girl, you're almost as bad as I am."

"I _was_ just talking about physical appearances, but if I look psychotic..."

"That's my job."

"Do I get any input?" Shepard asked irately.

"No," Tali, Gabbi, Jack, and Corinthia said in unison.

"And this is the part where I retreat upstairs and actually enjoy Joker's company," Shepard whispered, retreating. "I REALLY don't want to know what they're going to label me."

"Sexiest Man Alive," Corinthia answered instantly. "Seriously. You could be on the cover of a magazine or something and everyone else would swoon over you."

"Do I get hero-worship later?"

"Maybe."

Shepard shrugged. "Good enough for me. Why were you down here, anyway?"

"We're finding the Flotilla! It's going to be fun!" she answered perkily.

Shepard glanced at Tali. "I was wondering who would be next..."

Tali shifted uncomfortably. "Sorry, but I only just got the summons..."

"It's fine, Tali. You actually have a life outside the military."

"We don't," Corinthia muttered. "Well, _he_ doesn't. I still do, though I can't really do it from here..."

"I thought I was your life and all the mushy shit," Shepard put in.

"Well, I mean, you are, but — but are we seriously going to talk about that in front of them?"

"You brought it up."

"No, _you_ did."

"You missed your opportunity."

"What?" She flushed as everyone except Tali (who had never really gotten the sexual innuendo) started laughing. "You people are horrible. I'm going to go pout for three hours and then hack your omni-tools and _you're gonna regret it,_" she finished in a sing-song tone.

"It's going to be a twentieth-century hell for the next week," Shepard groaned. He grabbed Corinthia's arm and pulled her into the hall. "I swear, it's like baby-sitting a child..."

"Except that I'm capable of things no child ought to be."

"Only because you figured out that there's something better than hugging and kissing."

She turned bright red. "But it's still involved..."

"Yeah, but there's a lot of other things which I know you like," he growled into her ear, squeezing her waist and pulling him against his side.

"John, what did we talk about?"

He released her. "Hands off unless we're alone. No suggestive promises or grins unless there's an opportunity to act on them... You know, you really don't hold up to your end of the bargain."

"I'm sorry I make you weak at the knees all the time, but I can't help it! I don't know what I'm saying half the time and you know it."

Shepard pushed her into the elevator, getting in after her and selecting his cabin. He cornered her. resting his hands against the wall on either side of her head. "I sincerely doubt that you are as clueless as you act."

"Ignorance is bliss and I feel blissful."

"Until you get depressed over something else."

"Or Imreas comes out again."

"It's been almost two months since the last incident."

"I don't trust her that much."

He leaned in to kiss her. "Can't you just be happy?"

"I am happy. I'm also fretting, that's all. Things have been too good lately. I'm' just waiting for something to go wrong. We're due."

Shepard backed away. "Talk about killing the mood..."

She checked her omni-tool's time log. "It's not even dinnertime!"

"Sorry." Shepard ran a hand over his head. "You're not the only one worried. I am, too."

She squeezed his hand. Though he had never told her, she knew that he was deathly afraid of losing her for good. "John, you have enough to worry about without waiting for me to go berzerk. Just concentrate on the missions at hand."

He laughed bitterly. "Missions? It's a fucking nightmare, that's what it is. 'Go here, run over there, and, while you're at it, do a few errands. By the way, don't get yourself killed. We'll need you later when we actually decide to tell you what's happening next.' Goddamn this whole fucking mess!" He punched the wall. "I didn't like how the Alliance ran the show last time, but at least I knew where I was going and what I was trying to do. Now it's just waiting here for that bastard to tell me what to do next."

"I agree, really, I do. I don't mind sitting around and doing nothing, but this whole thing just feels... aimless."

"Yeah... Didn't you go and try and recover Vigil or something?"

"I did, but it wasn't much. It pointed me to the Reaper where... well... you know... It took me ages to decipher what I did. Liara helped me with it, but so much was just beyond our capabilities that it turned into nonsense. Honestly, Liara has the data, not me. I needed my omni-tool and computers for other things."

"I'm not blaming you. How would you even be able to help me? I don't want you anywhere near a Reaper."

"We're not going to have much choice in that matter, Shepard. We don't even know _how_ to stop the invasion. We don't know when it's coming! So far as I can tell, all we know is that the Collectors are kidnapping humans and that they're being controlled by Harbinger, who honestly may or may not be a Reaper. It sure as hell sounded like one to me, but I don't know for sure."

"Can't you track down the Illusive Man for me?"

"I wish I could, but I've tried before. It's not that easy. He's as well hidden as the Shadow Broker."

"But we're on a Cerberus ship. You were trying to hack them, last I checked."

"And I succeeded, which was why I was talking to Jack at all, but I couldn't get deeper without unlocking EDI. I like her, but I don't trust AIs THAT far."

"What are you talking about?"

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Haven't you talked to _anyone_ on the ship?"

"A little to Garrus, not really to the others except when they asked for favors."

"No wonder why they all think you're cold..."

"I thought I was."

"You're actually quite nice and sweet, at least to me. You do act differently around me, I've noticed."

"Wasn't always like that," he muttered. The elevator doors slid open and Shepard stepped out. "You do remember, don't you?"

She cocked her head to one side. "What are you talking about?"

"Just... bad memories," Shepard replied evasively. He rubbed his neck and sat on the sofa.

"You know, you've never given me any details about your past..." Corinthia murmured, sitting in his lap.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her jawline. "Because it's irrelevant."

"You mean because you think I'd hate you for it."

"Yeah..."

She stroked his cheek. "I know you're not perfect. I know you've done bad things and I was there for the worst of it."

"Not really. I didn't let you come with me, not completely. I couldn't... Please, don't ask me for details. I'm ashamed of it, all of it, and you know I don't feel remorse." He buried his face in her neck and hair. "But if you have to know, I'll tell you."

She thought for a long moment. Yes, she wanted to know rather desperately, but if he was going to hate telling her, she knew it wasn't going to be pretty and he would need some serious comforting afterwards.

"Let's get on the way to the Flotilla first. Then at least we'll know where we're going."

"Flotilla? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I forgot. Tali's next on the list of people with errands. She's... She's been accused of treason."

Shepard sighed, annoyed. "I wondered who'd be first... Fine. EDI!"

"Yes, Commander?" the AI answered.

"Tell Joker to get the coordinates from Tali for the Flotilla's location and take us there."

"Of course, Commander. Shall I inform you when we're underway?"

"No. Just leave us alone for now, alright?"

"Understood."

Shepard closed his eyes. "You aren't going to like any of this."

She smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him. "I know, but I need to hear it. I want to know because I'm pretty sure that we're going to have to face it before the end. We already did, once. I'm sure it's going to come up sooner or later..."

He avoided her kiss, lifting her off of him and setting her at his side. "Let's just wait until after we deal with Tali's mess."

"I'm sorry, John, I didn't realize it was going to be so touchy... Wait, that didn't sound right..."

He put his head in his hands. "It's more that I don't think like you. I can't just start telling a story without at least a little time to prepare so that I don't talk in circles or anything like that. I wish there was something to scan my memories and show you..."

"There is. Her name's Liara."

"Or Samara..."

"No way she'd do that."

"It'd be one hell of a lot easier than me telling you."

"If it's going to piss you off, then forget it," she snapped.

"You're the one that asked and i said no! But _you_ had to press, didn't you? So now you're just going to drop it?"

"It's irking you, isn't it? Besides, I can guess or just hack into your records, if you don't want to tell me."

He narrowed his eyes. "You just don't want me to join minds with anyone, do you?"

"Damn right I don't! Every woman on this ship is half-way in love with you except Kasumi and Samara. If you did that, it'd leave Kasumi to be the only one drooling over someone else."

"You know as well as I do that no one's going to do anything."

"Yeah, but it's you I don't trust."

Any kindness in Shepard's visage vanished. "What was that?"

Corinthia paled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean — "

"Of course you meant it," he hissed, standing up. He advanced on her, leaning down and pinning her to the sofa. "I've had chances to be with other women, you know. You were dead and I wasn't taking it well. Jack offered herself to me. Miranda had been trying to seduce me until I brought you aboard. They're both sexy, fine, but you're beautiful and the only one I want. So, yeah, I fucked other women, but the last few were replacing you, not because I really wanted them." He grabbed her and pulled her against him in a fierce kiss. She inhaled sharply, squeaking in suprise. As he had no intention of releasing her, he ignored her protests, pressed her into the leather, and started undoing her belt. With any luck, she wouldn't doubt his dedication ever again.

* * *

><p><strong>25 August 2185 — <em>Rayya<em>, Migrant Fleet, Vallhallan Threshold**

Tali wasn't sure what to say. She couldn't stop staring at Shepard. In less than twenty-four hours, he had entered the Flotilla, stood by her for two trials, discovered her father's fate (which was not good, since he was killed by the geth he was trying to restore to their original state), and managed to convince the board of Admirals to drop all charges without mentioning her father's research. She wanted to embrace Shepard, but she couldn't in front of Corinthia.

"Tali vas Normandy," Corinthia murmured. "Suits you, Tali."

"Thanks," Tali beamed. "Of course, if Shepard..."

"You're part of my crew, Tali," Shepard answered, signalling that he had nothing else to say on the subject.

"Which really means that we're keeping you," Corinthia finished. She hugged Tali. "Feel better, now?"

"I'm not sure... To not have my father is... difficult, but... but I have you, don't I?"

"I sense the need for a party," Corinthia said with a grin. "It's about time we had one."

"Hold off until we deal with Zaeed's problem," Shepard muttered. "Then we can celebrate not having any more stupid errands to run."

"Would you calli it stupid if I asked for a favor?"

Shepard hesitated. "Well..."

"I'll take that as a 'no'."

"I'm sure seomthing'll come up sooner or later."

"Later is better. We've got enough to worry about right now. Let's go. I'm going to suffocate if I'm in here for much longer. I might have to go roll in some dirt after being in a clean room like this."

Corinthia pursed her lips. "That's totally unnecessary. There are other ways to be dirty."

"Stop talking. Now. This is not a good time."

"What did I say? I just — Oh... Oh. Right. Yeah. Shutting up now."

They boarded the _Normandy_. Joker turned in his chair. "So... how'd it go?" he asked, almost lewdly.

"Just get us to a Mass Relay. I'll have coordinates in five minutes. EDI, don't let Ci-Ci start playing music through your speaker system again. That last dance party nearly capsized the ship."

"We can't capsize. We've got artgrav and all that shit," Joker muttered.

"I'll turn off the gravity, then," Corinthia answered. Her eyes lit up. "Ooh... That sounds like fun..."

Shepard's eyes darkened as he remembered floating into the vacuum of space to his death. "No," he said hoarsely.

Corinthia smirked and put her arm in his. "I promise you won't regret it."

He rolled his eyes. "You would."

"Of course I would! When i have good dreams, I dream about flying."

"You'd throw off the ship's center of gravity and everything would stop working. Not a good idea."

"Then I'll steal the Kodiak and we'll do it there. You can pick the music, promise!"

Shepard groaned. "I'm not getting out of this, am I?"

"Nope."

"Fine, but consider it your 'errand'."

She pouted. "But... Oh, alright. Not like I can resist you for long." She blushed a little and released his arm.

"I already apologized for that," he whispered.

"I told you that you didn't have to. It had been the best to date."

"I meant that... Well..."

"I'm sure it's not the first time I'll have a hickey, Shepard. besides, I have makeup for a reason. I don't mind. Really!"

Kelly looked up as they past. "You have several messages, Commander, and Zaeed would like to speak with you."

Shepard didn't answer and just got into the elevator. Corinthia sighed. "He'll look at them later, I'm sure. Thanks, Kel."

"Of course, Ci-Ci."

"You know, you don't have to brush her off like that," Corinthia muttered once they were alone in the elevator.

"She's annoying."

"So'm I."

"And here you are telling me that I'm sweet and all that shit."

"To me, maybe, but I swear that you just so... so... pig-headed sometimes. Just because they're Cerberus —"

"It's because they're Cerberus. Let's not argue, especially about this. She's not part of the team."

"Yes, she is. Everyone on the ship is. Yes, you were dismissive of everyone aboard the first _Normandy_, too, but you were their commander. You aren't here, not yet, unless you start acting very differently. These are the people whose loyalty you need. Right now, they're our only allies, almost. Liara counts, sort of, and Anderson can only do so much with Udina trying to get you court martialed..."

"Please, stop talking. I've done enough for my lifetime today and I still can't believe that I did it."

She hugged him. "You did marvelously."

"I'm turning into you, aren't I?"

"No, not really. Something better."

He retracted their helmets before kissing her deeply, lacing his fingers into her hair and pulling out her ponytail. "I half miss being a selfish ass-hole, but if i become a total push-over because of you, that's what I'll be, then."

"Not sure you'd make admiral like that."

"Not sure I'll make admiral at all. I'm working for Cerberus, aren't I?"

"Not really. You're using them just like they're using you, except you're going to get back at them."

"Choke the Illusive Man to death... The idea of its making me hungry."

"Zaeed first. Food next. Me later."

"C'mon..."

"Public place..."

"Oh, right. Fuck. I hate this, you know. We are so getting a place of our own."

"I have a place, so therefore we have a place. it's on the Citadel and you know we can go there whenever we want to. I also have a place on Illium, come to think of it. And you still have that place on... er... what was it called?"

"Intai'sei," Shepard answered. "I wonder if it's still there..."

"Well, everything of yours did pass to me when you died..."

"What?"

"Anderson ensured it. He kinda made it to look like we'd been married..." She blushed. "I didn't want to tell you, about the marriage bit, I mean."

"We're... married?" he stammered, blinking.

"No, not really. I falsely created the records to smooth the process before the Council seized everything and then I deleted it after everything was settled. I couldn't do that to you, John. Besides, it'll happen eventually, won't it?"

"If there's an eventually for us to have..."

"We'll have it, Shepard. We have to."

"Yeah..." he whispered, unconvinced. "We'll have it."

* * *

><p><strong><strong>_**A/N-**Shoutout to LeroyZanzibar and his character, Mark, from his story_ Mass Effect: Friend of a Hero._ Quid pro quo FTW._


	54. Unrevised: Past Affiliations

_**A/N: **Thanks to LeroyZanzibar for betaing!_

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>7 September 2185 — Cargo Bay, <em>SSV Normandy, <em>orbiting Zorya, Faia System, Ismar Frontier**

Zaeed cracked his neck and checked his assault rifle. He had everything planned. Assuming Shepard didn't fuck it up, everything would be perfect.

Shepard came into the loading area, already in his armor. Rufus/Urz was plodding alongside him, tongue hanging out happily. Thankfully, the Commander looked ready for action, not like he'd just been coddling his woman.

Shepard threw Zaeed a belt of grenades. "You might need these."

"So we can take them because Ci-Ci's not coming?" Zaeed asked. "About bloody time."

At the mercenary's request, Corinthia was staying behind. She would compromise Zaeed's idea of the mission.

Shepard put his equipment into the Kodiak. Jack was already inside, lurking in the shadows. "Are you guys going to stand there holding your dicks or are we going to get moving?" Jack demanded irately.

Shepard shook his head and climbed inside, Zaeed directly behind him. "You ready for this, girl?" Zaeed asked.

"I've seen shit that'll make what's left of your hair curl."

"I could say the same to you. Haven't you heard me telling stories?"

"To anyone that'll fucking listen," Jack muttered. "That's only Ci-Ci because she's the only one that talks to anyone."

Shepard shook his head. "She'd bite my head off if I paid anyone more attention than her."

"I haven't seen you without her in a month."

"And that's a problem why?"

Jack snorted. "You're fucking whipped, Shepard."

"Glad to fucking know it," he answered, pounding on the pilot's door. The Kodiak took off, pulled out of the _Normandy_, and headed to the surface of Zorya.

"So why the hell am I doing this?" Shepard demanded.

"Because it's part of my contract with these Cerberus bastards," Zaeed answered.

"No fucking shit," Jack put in.

"I'd like a better one," Shepard continued, ignoring her interruption.

Zaeed lit a cigar and took a long drag. "Did you know I founded the Blue Suns?" he growled.

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "You mean one of the sets of bastards that keep trying to kill me?"

"You're worth a lot of money, Shepard. If I weren't being paid more to help you, I might hunt you down myself."

"I'll tell Cerberus to give you a raise."

Zaeed laughed. "You know, Shepard, I like you, even though I shouldn't. It's why I'm asking for you help. My ex-partner, Vido Santiago, is on this planet. I'm going to kill him."

"Isn't he the head of the Blue Suns?"

Zaeed gestured to the vicious scars on his face. "Yeah. The bastard betrayed me. Muscled me out and shot me in the head. Time for some payback."

Shepard's eyes flickered darkly. "Sounds like my kind of party."

Jack smirked. "Fucking right it is."

Shepard leaned back, readying for the fight. The Blue Suns weren't particularly formidable — then again, not much was in comparison to Shepard — but that wasn't what was setting Shepard on edge. He understood completely where Zaeed was coming from; after all, Shepard had nearly ruined their mission to avenge Corinthia. He'd done it before when he'd gone after Cerberus for her, aboard the first _Normandy _and when they were close friends before. He was not the sort of person to let people get away with bad deeds, especially to anyone he considered close.

But it wasn't Corinthia who was getting to him. The fact was that Zaeed was talking exactly like Shepard's closest friend in the Reds, Steven Matheson, had done. Shepard hadn't thought about Stevie in years, not since he'd decided to join the Alliance, but now that his name was in Shepard's head, the Commander had a bad feeling that this mission was not going to go as planned.

* * *

><p><strong>31 October 2170 — Los Angeles, United North American States, Earth, Sol System<strong>

Shepard fingered he tattoo on his neck. It would still sting for a few days more, but the effect was what he'd wanted: he was really part of the Reds. He'd been tagged and there was no going back. He couldn't wait to show off the large, black 'X' to his peers. They'd be so fucking jealous...

Stevie put down the tattoo machine and slapped Shepard on the shoulder. "You aren't going to regret this, Johnny."

Stevie Matheson was Shepard's role model, so of course Shepard was going to do whatever Stevie asked. Stevie didn't look at all like a thug. As a matter of fact, he looked extremely respectable. He wore suits, kept his blonde hair stylishly cropped and spiked, and had one of the most seductive smiles in the galaxy. Shepard was too young to be able to dress like Stevie, but Shepard at least tried to look as little like a gang member as possible.

They were sitting in Stevie's apartment. Being second in command of the Reds, he was more than rich. The walls were covered in fine art. The windows overlooked the breathtaking skyline, making the room seem to float over the entire sprawling metropolis. It was anything but the slummy, dirty streets Shepard had grown up in, or even what his own room was like.

Shepard smoothed his hair down over his forehead. It was long enough to conceal his eyes, but he wasn't ready to cut it just yet. "I never have, Stevie," Shepard said lowly. Even for a sixteen-year-old, Shepard's voice was cold, low, and dangerous. He didn't look much older than he was (after all, age is hard to determine amongst teenagers), but he held himself like a cynical, jaded young man with nothing but ambition in his heart. One day, he was going to be Stevie. He was going to take Stevie's place within the Reds. Shepard would rule the Western Coast.

Stevie got this his feet, rolling down his sleeves and re-buttoning the cuffs. "You know what this means, don't you, Johnny?"

Shepard didn't answer. He knew exactly what it meant: He was a permanent member of the Reds, and therefore in line for leadership. He wasn't the youngest to be tagged, but he was going to be the one to rise through the ranks fastest. So, yeah, he'd taken Stevie's tag instead of the Red's main one (which was a red 'X' instead of a black one), but it was what Shepard had to do to prove himself.

Within a year, Stevie would be in charge of the Reds. It was just a matter of time. Their boss, Kovic, was prejudiced, weak, and little better than a thug. Stevie actually thought about the Reds like a business. He invested instead of simply taking. He understood that he had to spend money to make money. He didn't even partake in Red Sand like the other gang members.

Red Sand was designed to enhance biotic abilities, or even give them to those that didn't have them in the first place. It was in increasing demand on Earth. Stevie didn't need to want biotic abiltiies because he already had a powerful one on his side: Shepard. In 2168, he received secondary exposure to Element Zero and the abilities manifested. Stevie, being older and not fourteen, helped Shepard learn to control the abilities. Shepard wasn't an expert at using his skills, but he would be before much longer and there was no telling what his potential would be. Stevie had every intention to find out.

Though Shepard idolized Stevie, the teenager was nothing better than an asset to Matheson. Stevie could see already that Shepard was going to be great. He had this way of making people do what he wanted when he wanted. In all honesty, Stevie was a little intimidated by Shepard. Though cold, calculating, and cynical, Shepard had the ability to overcome any situation. Though he'd already won a few scars, he had yet to be in any serious scrapes. He enjoyed working alone, though Stevie didn't know why. It was as if Shepard wasn't willing to put anyone on the line.

Stevie would break Shepard of that. The kid needed to know how to use people before he would ever become great. He needed to be ruthless if he wanted to get anywhere in the galaxy.

"You work for me, now," Stevie said, smiling. "You aren't going to regret it."

Shepard grinned. "I don't."

"Good, because we have one hell of a celebration in front of us. Ladies!"

Two stunningly beautiful women, probably in their early twenties, stepped out of Stevie's bedroom. They weren't wearing enough to even be considered clothed. Shepard blinked and gaped.

Stevie clapped Shepard on the back. "Trust me, kid, you haven't seen anything yet. That one's Candy and that one's... uh... Well, I think her name's Candy, too. Show Johnny a good time, will you? Kid hasn't been with a woman before." Stevie headed to the door.

Shepard shifted in his seat. "Where are you going?"

"Out." Stevie winked and pulled on his jacket. "You'll be fine, Johnny. These girls know what they're doing and I know you're going to like it."

* * *

><p><strong>The Present — Zorya<strong>

Shepard stopped short of the entrance to the refinery. The door was unlocked. So far, there had been a pathetic resistance put up the Blue Suns, with Santiago shouting death threats to everyone that retreated. Shepard didn't envy their predicament; Death stood in either direction.

Zaeed put some extra bullets into a dead Sun for good measure. Jack crossed her arms and tapped a foot impatiently. "Come on, old man. Don't we have a fucking bastard to kill?"

Shepard tightened his grip on his assault rifle. "Get ready for an ambush."

Jack sniffed the air. "You're right, Shepard. Want me to rip the door off?" Her biotics flared eagerly.

"Good idea, but let's go for something a bit more subtle," Shepard answered.

"Blowing it to Hell?"

"I was thinking we just open it and throw a grenade at a grenade at whatever's in there."

"Shepard, it's a goddamn fuel refinery."

"So no grenade, then."

"Ci-Ci fucking your head, too?"

"Something like that."

Zaeed pushed past them and opened the door. "We don't have time for this," he growled.

The refinery looked like any other one, with pipes full of combustible gasses running everywhere. Santiago and his thugs were standing on a platform, guns out and already trained on Shepard as he entered the area.

"Zaeed Massani," Santiago muttered.

"Vido," Zaeed answered, turning off the safety off.

Shepard saw the fight coming and signaled Jack to get ready. In the old days, Shepard would've just killed Santiago then and there, but it wasn't his place. Besides, one stray bullet in that place and everything would explode.

"Just don't do anything stupid," Shepard ordered, putting his hand behind his back and readying a biotic field.

Jack followed his lead. "Do you want everything splattered on the walls or just their brains?" she asked lowly, an evil smirk creeping across her lips.

"You decide," Shepard answered.

Santiago leaned on the rail, barely looking at Shepard and keeping his gaze fixed on Zaeed. "I should've put you down last time like the dog you are," Santiago growled.

Zaeed unconsciously turned his scars out of Santiago's view. Still, Massani wasn't about to roll over and die; he was too old for that. He would do anything to get rid of Santiago... and there was more than enough opportunity. Zaeed's eyes lit up dangerously as a plan formulated in his mind — or, rather, he decided to take the opportunity.

He raised his assault rifle and fired at Santiago. The Blue Suns instantly responded. Jack threw up a biotic shield between her, Shepard, and the mercenaries as he put a singularity by their heads.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Shepard demanded, diving into cover.

Zaeed ignored the Commander and kept firing. Santiago ducked. "You just signed your death warrant, Massani!"

Zaeed was too enraged to pay attention. As soon as Santiago was gone, he ran for the main line and started hammering off the spigot with the butt of his rifle. Gas flowed into the room, catching fire like everything else and readying to explode.

Shepard rounded on Zaeed. "Are you fucking insane?"

"I want him dead," Zaeed hissed.

"Sounds fair to me," Jack said with a shrug. "Guy's an asshole."

Shepard sighed. "Fine. So we go kill him, but if this place blows up, I'm blaming you, Zaeed, and I do not forgive easily."

"As long as he dies, I'm happy," Zaeed muttered.

Shepard shook his head and started following Santiago. "I know I'm going to regret this..."

* * *

><p>Shepard gritted his teeth. Of course there would be a complication. Of course he would have to choose between letting Zaeed getting his revenge and saving a bunch of innocent people.<p>

"Fuck," Shepard growled, kicking the door.

"We don't have time for this!" Zaeed shouted. "He's getting away!"

"What do you want me to do? Leave those people to die?" Shepard snapped.

"That woman's getting to your head, mate, because that's exactly what I want you to do and it's exactly what you're going to do."

Shepard clenched a fist. "You don't give me orders. It's your fault this place is going to blow up, so you're going to fix it."

"Like hell I am!"

Shepard went to the door. "Like you said, we don't have time for this. We're getting those people out of here and if there's time to kill that mother fucker, we'll do it. If not, we live to fight another day."

"Another day? Another day?"

Shepard wasn't in the mood. He rounded on the mercenary and, without dropping his weapon, roundhouse-elbowed Zaeed in the jaw. "Listen to me, old man. I may have a reputation not caring about life, but my job is to save as many lives as I can. I'm stopping a goddamn invasion and the whole fucking galaxy from being destroyed, not help you take care of your personal vendettas. You fucked this mission up so you fix it. It's you that lost Santiago. If one person dies that doesn't have to, I take it out of you in body parts, that clear?"

Zaeed rubbed his jaw. "I don't believe you, you pussy."

Jack snickered. "Fucked yourself, didn't you, Shepard?"

Shepard put the barrel of his assault rifle under Zaeed's chin. "You are expendable," Shepard said lowly. "So's that bastard we're chasing, and maybe so're the people in there. You have no problem letting fifty people die to kill one, fine. I can do this without you, but you can't do it without me, so you have to do whatever the fuck I say, old man."

"Like hell I will!"

Shepard put his finger on the trigger. "I kill you now, Santiago never dies. Do it my way, he still might. Your choice, Zaeed."

Zaeed sighed. "Fuck this up, Shepard, and I will kill you."

Jack snorted. "I'd like to see you try. Shepard doesn't exactly die, in case you haven't noticed."

* * *

><p>Santiago was getting away and Zaeed was pissed. Just like Shepard asked, Massani had saved the workers at the refinery. He fired his weapon uselessly at Santiago's ship (well, almost; he did manage to kill one of the goons).<p>

His weapon jammed. He pounded out the thermal clip, only to have it land in a trail of leaking fuel. Shepard took a step back, waiting to see what would happen. In all honestly, it wouldn't be any loss if Zaeed killed himself.

Sure enough, the place exploded, A support column fell on top of Zaeed. Jack laughed and Shepard had to try very hard not to as well. He thought it was only fair, really, that the mercenary be pinned down and needing someone else to save his life.

"What the hell are you standing there for?" Zaeed demanded.

"Poetic justice,"Shepard answered, stepping forward. "The only reason this mission failed is because of you. If you would've been patient instead of shooting the hell out of him when you first saw him, there never would've been that little detour to save the people you condemned. Fact is the guy's now lost his base of operations. I've probably killed seventy-five percent of his forces. You found him once, you can do it again. You aren't dead and next time you corner him, he won't get away."

Zaeed gritted his teeth, partially because he was in pain and partially because Shepard was right. Zaeed had lost his head. Experience had taught him better than to act on his emotions (when he had them). Even Jack had been calm and collected when she'd gone to destroy her past. So had Garrus, Miranda, Jacob, Kasumi... Everyone but Zaeed. Unfortunately, the Mercenary hadn't worked with Shepard since the man had gotten that damned woman back, so Zaeed had no idea that the Commander actually had a good side, especially one that would take precedent in any situation.

"Alright, Shepard, you win," Zaeed hissed. "I'm an old dog, anyway, and I've survived this long. I've still got time to catch him, don't I?"

Shepard nodded. "Yes, you do." He lifted the support off the mercenary and helped him to his feet. "And I won't come with you, either."

"I might have to take you up on that offer, then." Zaeed glanced back to where Santiago's ship disappeared over the horizon. "I'm a goddamn hero now, aren't I?"

"Something like that," Shepard answered. "After all, you saved a lot of people's lives."

"You're making me go soft."

"And that's a problem?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I might just be getting too old for this shit. Don't say anything else, Shepard. I'm still going to fight for you. I've got a contract and you ."

* * *

><p><strong>31 December 2170 — New York City, United North American States, Earth, Sol System<strong>

Shepard tugged at his collar. He felt like a monkey in that suit, but Stevie needed him in one, so he'd worn it.

Today was a critical day. Stevie was making his move to take over the Reds and Shepard was going to be his right hand. The boy had the makings to be the man that could change the galaxy. In a way, the next few days were going to test Shepard, see what he was made of... what he was truly capable of.

Stevie may have looked serene, but inside he was impatient. He was meeting the head of the Reds's rival gang, the Hudson Hawks, and they were going to discuss an alliance and coup. Shepard was only there as a second in case something went wrong (which, in all honesty, was likely).

Shepard saw an ambush coming. The offices they were meeting in were death traps for the unprepared. They were in a corner conference room, which only had one hallway access point, and a table large enough to take up the whole room and still not be slid across because there was a massive hole in the center of it.

Yes, Shepard could blow out the windows and run, but they were fifty stories up and he highly doubted that he could think of a creative enough use of a mass effect field to save his own ass before it splattered all over the pavement below.

He cracked his knuckles. "I don't like this," he muttered. "We've been in here alone for too long."

Stevie smirked. "Calm down, Johnny. This isn't a gentleman's game... That is, not yet. We're going to change that."

Shepard glanced around the room, finding exits and planning for the worst. "Ten minutes before we leave."

"Patience," Stevie warned. "You think I haven't thought through ever possible scenario? I'm ready for anything."

Shepard had no idea just how right Stevie was. As a matter of fact, Shepard had no idea what Matheson was actually planning to do. Shepard didn't even know that he was, in a sense, participating in treachery. He saw Stevie as the Tenth Street Reds, not as a would-be defector or part of a splinter group.

The leader of the Hudson Hawks entered the room, flanked by five thugs. Their leader looked much like Stevie, in the sense that he was well-dressed, clean-cut, and generally respectable-looking, but his eyes had the dangerous glint of a man who had climbed to the top on a stairway of bodies. The thugs were all generic: big, burly, brusque, and boorish. There was no way they were intelligent enough to actually understand the discussions that were about to take place. If anything, it proved a point: the Hawks were nervous and the Reds had the upper hand. Despite the odds, Shepard knew he could win the fight single-handed. The Muscle carried illegal pistols under their jackets, knives in their belts, and knuckles in their fists. One mass effect field and they'd be free-falling five hundred feet into the traffic below. The Boss would be dead from a pistol shot between the eyes.

"Mr. Matheson," the Boss began, his accent still heavily marked by his New York heritage.

"Mr. Hawk," Stevie answered calmly. Neither man extended a hand to shake.

"Your offer was... unexpected," Hawk continued, sitting down at the conference table. "Our territories don't even meet."

Stevie leaned back in his seat. "They don't yet."

"What, exactly, are you proposing?"

"I already have Las Vegas, Chicago, Dallas, Atlanta, and Washington. You're the last piece of the puzzle," Stevie murmured, lighting a cigarette.

Shepard remained silent, but his hackles were now up — not because of Hawk, but rather because of Stevie. Over the last two years, the major gangs of all the cities Stevie had named had vanished from the map, only to restart and reform at the Xzars. It was only a matter of time before they were the leaders of the criminal underworld.

Stevie was in control. Now that Shepard knew, he could tell how the situation was going to end: Death. As soon as Stevie had what he needed (whatever that was), everyone else in the room would die. In all likelihood, Shepard would be the one to do the killing, too.

Shepard smirked. That was _exactly_ how he wanted it.


	55. Unrevised: Stevie Metheson

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>31 December 2170 — New York City, United North American States, Earth, Sol System<strong>

Shepard cracked his neck and wiped the blood off his face with his sleeve. Stevie got to his feet, straightened his suit jacket, passed the broken window (which had been the demise of Hawk's thugs), and stood over Hawk. The Boss grabbed Stevie's ankles. "Please... Please..."

Stevie grimaced and kicked the man in the face. "Now do you understand who you're dealing with?"

"Y... Yes..."

Stevie nodded to Shepard. The teenager grabbed Hawk's collar and pulled him to his feet. Stevie took out a knife, toying with it casually. "So, you give me all your assets, all your operations. You declare me your right-hand man. You arrange to merge with the Xzars within the next six months. Cross me and I'll have Johnny do to you what he did to your thugs."

Biotic fields flared around Shepard's hands.

"Do we have an understanding?" Stevie hissed.

"Yeah," Hawk gulped. "Yeah. We've got one. Just don't... don't let him near me, please!" He gave Shepard a panicked and terrified look.

Stevie laughed. "You hear that, Johnny? He doesn't want you anywhere near him."

Shepard's expression didn't change. He had literally torn two men in half and he didn't feel anything but numb about it. Actually, he'd rather enjoyed it.

"Alright, Johnny, give him something to scream about."

Shepard nodded, dragged Hawk to the hole in the window, and thrust him out into the open air. Hawk screeched and clawed at Shepard's wrist, half-trying to loose the grip on his throat and half-trying to hold on for dear life.

"Do we have a deal?" Stevie asked.

"YES!" Hawk screamed.

"Good. Drop him."

Shepard let go, watching emotionlessly as Hawk dropped to his death. Stevie put a hand on Shepard's shoulder. "You've done well, Johnny. How about a celebration?"

Shepard stepped away from the window when Stevie didn't immediately loose his grip. Shepard may have looked up to Stevie, but that didn't mean he trusted the man. After all, part of Shepard wanted to escape the Reds, join the Alliance, get away... but Stevie had forced that side into repression out of necessity.

Stevie's eyes glinted dangerously. "What is it, Johnny? Afraid of heights?"

"Does Tompkins know about this?" Shepard asked coldly. Tompkins was the leader of the Reds, and therefore one of the most xenophobic and violent men on the planet.

"Of course," Stevie lied, still smiling. His grip tightened on Shepard's shoulder.

"Thinking of pushing me out?" Shepard growled.

"You're too useful for that, Johnny, but it's you I'm wondering about."

"I've had more than enough of a chance to do it."

Stevie laughed and released him. "You really are the most dangerous man in the Reds, aren't you?"

Shepard just stared him down, bristling.

"Don't worry. You're too useful for me to get rid of. Even Tompkins knows how good you are. You aren't going anywhere. You've got leadership written all over you."

"No," Shepard hissed. "I stay where I am."

"A good choice, my friend. Being in the way isn't somewhere you want to be for the next year."

Shepard nodded. He had a bad feeling about what was going to happen.

* * *

><p><strong>2 October 2171 — Los Angeles, United North American States<strong>

Shepard cracked his knuckles nervously. Stevie adjusted his cuffs and checked his pistol. "Alright, Johnny. Just keep to the plan."

Shepard nodded, though he wasn't sure that he wanted to go through with it. Stevie was about to stage a coup on the Reds. The only men Shepard had even half-way considered friends were going to be getting in his way. Shepard was going to have to kill them if they resisted too much. Shepard wasn't going to enjoy this. He needed to separate himself. He'd never been good at it, but now was probably going to be his best opportunity to learn.

The plan was simple: go in, kill the Boss, walk out, kill anyone who resisted.

"You know, you're going to be the second most powerful man in the country after this," Stevie said, putting his hand on Shepard's shoulder.

Shepard didn't answer. He was still trying to figure out how he could go through with it all. He didn't feel any particular loyalty to the Reds, sure — Hell, he'd been planning to leave them until Stevie recruited him — but he had his qualms about taking over. It just didn't seem right... Not that the Reds ever cared about that. They just did what they wanted, regardless of whether it was wrong or right.

The Reds had their base in the newer part of the city. Since Los Angeles, like most cities on Earth, had spread as far as possible in either direction (meaning all the way to the coast and meeting the new borders of Las Vegas), the city was now a conglomerate of the various other places it had absorbed over the years. The Reds had bought a building in the old downtown of Los Angeles. It didn't look like much on the outside, but Stevie had fixed it up on the inside. His apartment was on the fiftieth floor. Shepard was about to storm his own castle and it wasn't going to be pretty.

He checked his own pistol. He wasn't used to carrying a weapon. He knew how to use it well enough, since his biotic abilities had only manifested a few years before, but this time guns would be killing people he knew, not faceless thugs. He had a set of concussive rounds in his pocket for when things turned nasty, as they were like to do.

Stevie activated the controls for the main door and stepped inside. Shepard followed Stevie, feeling like everyone was staring at them (which they weren't) and knew exactly what was about to happen (which they didn't). Stevie headed straight for the elevators. "Wait here, Johnny," he ordered.

Shepard slouched towards a wall and leaned against it, watching everyone and trying to keep his hand off his pistol. Some of the guys he'd run with passed him, grinning and waving like the idiots they were. For a moment, Shepard regretted letting Stevie talk him into being his second. Those guys, as dumb as they were, didn't do anything that they would regret. Xenophobic? Sure, a little bit, but they didn't shoot turians in the hiead for looking them in the eye like Stevie did. These guys would fight back... and they wouldn't win.

* * *

><p><strong>Two hours later...<strong>

Shepard lowered his gun. There were fewer bodies than he'd predicted, but he'd personally had to kill... No, he wouldn't think about it. People had resisted and they had died. He'd followed orders and they hadn't.

Stevie was on the other side of the room, grinning maniacally as he shot the already dead body of a fifteen-year-old who had chosen to run rather than fight. The pistol jammed. Stevie cursed, unjammed it, waited for it to cool, and continued shooting.

"Everyone's dead," Shepard shouted, making it clear that the fight was over. "You won."

Stevie didn't take his finger off the trigger until the gun jammed again. He toosed the weapon aside before taking out a handkerchief and wiping blood from his suit. "Well, Johnny, looks like you and I are in charge of the Reds now."

Shepard shook his head indistinctly. "No. You're in charge. I'm just a thug."

Stevie grinned and clapped Shepard on the shoulder. "Good man, Johnny."

Shepard gave the bodies one last look. Maybe he was numb about them dying, but whatever feeling he'd had from killing them was rapidly subsiding. Remorse was something he couldn't feel, especially because he already knew his next course of action: leave the Reds. Stevie wasn't his friend; he was a monster. Though he knew what he was doing, his plans for the Reds were going to be anything but beneficial to anyone but Stevie and, maybe, humanity, assuming they agreed with him.

The worst part of it all was that Shepard still couldn't shake the impression that Stevie was his friend. After all, he'd taken Shepard in, taught him everything he knew... So they didn't agree, and Shepard wasn't going to let himself become Stevie.

The doors burst open and soldiers stormed in. Shepard glanced around, biotics flaring dangerously.

"What the fuck?" Stevie demanded.

"Agent Thompson," a man said, holding up a badge. He glanced around. "Who did all of this?"

Stevie stepped up behind Shepard. "What's it matter?"

"I did," Shepard growled.

Thompson glanced at Shepard's hands. "I suggest you drop that mass effect field now, son, before you get yourself into trouble. You come with us now and we forget that we saw anything here."

Stevie pushed Shepard forward. "Sounds like a deal. See you around, Johnny."

Shepard spun on Stevie, confused.

"Don't worry, kid, it's just implants. Trust me, you think your biotics are good now? This will look like finger-painting in comparison." Thompson dragged Shepard away, the soldiers leaving with him.

* * *

><p><strong>11 April 2172 — Tenth Stree Red's Headquarters, Los Angeles<strong>

Shepard stepped through the doors, his head pounding like a kettle drum. He fingered the new scars behind his ears — the sign that he'd been given implants. Every so often, he got wickedly terrible headaches, but they really only happened when he hadn't used his biotics in too long.

Stevie came out of the elevator. "Johnny! You've been keeping to yourself lately."

After the coup and implant procedure, Shepard had withdrawn to rethink his priorities. Though still part of the Reds, he knew it wasn't his destiny or where he wanted to be. He'd spent the last week getting up the courage to leave them.

Today, though, he was eighteen. He was free.

Stevie clapped Shepard on the shoulder. "What have you been up to, my friend?"

"You sure you want to know?" Shepard murmured.

A chill ran up Stevie's spine. He had never, ever heard Shepard sound so dangerous, let alone directed at him. Stevie barely had an inkling of what would happen next before he was flying through the air, smashed against the ceiling and floor until he was nothing better than a rag doll.

Shepard flicked Stevie's body aside and into a trash compactor. The Reds stared at him in shock, mouths agape. Shepard didn't give them a second glance as he pulled up his hood and walked out of the building, leaving the Reds behind forever.

* * *

><p><strong>The Present — 8 September 2185 — Shepard's Quarters, <em>SSV Normandy SR-2<em>, en route to Omega**

Shepard wearily trudged into his room, noting that the lights didn't turn on. That meant that Corinthia was asleep. Sure enough, she was a lump on the bed, Rufus curled up at her feet. The varren raised his head when Shepard came in, wagged his whip-like tail briefly, and went back to sleep.

The Commander removed his armor, showered, and sat down to write his report. Honestly, there wasn't much to say. Zaeed fucked it up, people didn't die. The end. Still, the Illusive Man _had _to know every goddamn thing that happened to Shepard... In comparison, Corinthia looked like the most disinterested girlfriend in the galaxy, and she knew just about everything that happened in his day-to-day life.

After an hour of staring at the screen and not writing a word, Shepard felt something heavy rest on his knees. He sighed. "Not now, Rufus."

The varren stared at him with wide, glassy eyes, wagging its tail.

"I don't have any food."

Rufus's eyes widened even more pitifully.

"What the hell do you want? Why the hell did I let Ci-Ci keep you?"

Rufus whined and went to scratch at the bathroom door.

"You've got to be kidding me..."

"He's just trying to herd you into bed," Corinthia mumbled, her voice muffled by her pillows.

Shepard got to his feet, shut off his monitor, and stretched before wandering to bed. He felt guilty sleeping next to her, to the point that he didn't even take off his shirt when he got into bed.

"Any cuts, bruises, fractures, or breaks?" she murmured.

"No..."

"Good." She rolled over and snuggled against him. "Thanks for coming back alive."

He hesitated before touching her cheek. "Yeah..."

She opened one eye. "Are you alright?"

"Not really."

"Do I need to be awake for this conversation?"

"There isn't going to be a conversation." He gently removed her grasp and rolled on his side so his back would be to her.

She sat up, frowning. "What's wrong?"

"Just go back to sleep."

She blinked the sleep out of her eyes, stretched, and slapped his shoulder. "I'm awake now, so tell me what's bothering you."

"I don't want you to know," he hissed.

She raised an eyebrow. "Okay... Will you at least tell me if it's my fault?"

"No, it isn't in any capacity."

"So why are you pouting?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

She hung her head. "I"m sorry, John, but you need to tell me."

"Like hell I do..."

"I'm your wi — girlfriend. Don't you trust me?"

He flipped onto his back and covered his face with this hands. There was no way he was getting out of this without making her yell at him. "I do trust you, Cassie."

She crossed her legs and arms, glaring down at him.

"You once promised me never to ask about my past," he murmured.

She blinked. "Really? I don't remember that at all..."

"On Akuze."

"And before we went to the Flotilla you told me that you'd tell me anything I wanted to know."

He winced. "I did, didn't I?"

She cocked her head to one side. "Is it really that bad?"

He nodded slowly.

"Enough that you truly believe I'd hate you for it?"

"You wouldn't have a choice."

"Try me."

"Cassie..."

"John," she snapped. "Do you remember how quickly I stopped being angry at you after Torfan? That I was there for. I knew the people that died. I don't think you could get much worse."

He sat up and swung his legs out of the bed. "Just... If I tell you, I keep thinking that you'll leave..."

"Again, I remind you of all the shit we've been through together and all the times I could've downgraded to someone else with a less colorful past."

He raised an eyebrow. "Downgraded?"

"Yes, downgraded," she repeated. "Nothing you can say will surprise me."

He glanced at her. "You looked up my record, didn't you?"

She blushed. "Ages ago."

"All of it?"

"Everything I could find."

"When?"

"After Akuze. I mean, I liked you... My friends told me to find out everything I could."

"Which friends would tell you to stalk someone?"

"Salarians. Uh, well, it's a long story, there, but their policy on love is, essentially, mating, so they wanted to make sure you were a good genetic match..." She hugged her knees guiltily.

"And?" he pressed.

"They said it was good, but that any children might have anger management issues, severe ADHD, and strong biotic abilities. They told me that your record was clean, but there were a bunch of allegagtions and that you might have been in protective custody at one point..."

"All true. They find out who my parents were while they were at it?"

"No. I mean, Mordin probably could if you wanted to..."

"At this point? What good would it do? She left me on a fucking playground. I was three! What the hell was I supposed to do? Die?"

"I don't know..." She touched his hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you remember that..."

"Bullshit," he growled, jerking away from her. "You're just intent on opening old wounds."

She sat back. "Did they heal?"

"Fucking right."

She leaned against the headboard for a moment before lying down with her back to him. "You were right. I should've just gone to sleep."

Shepard glared at her. "So that's it, then? No apology?"

She rounded on him, on her knees before he knew what was happening. "What do you want me to say? I'm sorry I wanted to know what was bothering you? I'm sorry I'm still curious about your past? About why you never, ever mentioned your life before you were eighteen? I love you as you are, but I still want to know... I want to be able to understand that dark side of you, but you won't let me. I get that you have to be tough and everything, but the fact is that you're a good guy. Even with everything you've done, you've always been like that. Ruthless? Yes. Not nice? Definitely. But bad or evil? Never. It isn't just anyone that decides to save a galaxy, even when he's got everyone fighting him and is forced to work with his enemies. Do you want to know what I think? I think you've always been like that, but you were just too young to recognize that being strong, tough, and badass didn't mean that you had to be evil, too."

"I murdered my best friend. I sent the only good men in the Reds to their deaths because I had this fucked up idea that I could trust the damn man! I killed ten men and made someone else take the fall for it. I fucked three women at a time and didn't even bother to get their names. Don't tell me that I'm a good man, Cassie, because I'm not. You're too naive to even understand what it means to have a dark past. To get the guilt that presses down on you so much to the point that you stop caring entirely so you don't have to deal with it ever again. Then you showed up and made me have to deal with it. Do you have any idea what it's like to actually feel something for the first time? You get scared because you don't know what's happening. You try and shut it out, ignore it, lock it away, channel it... Anything but embrace it and see it as strength instead of weakness." He put his head in his hands. "I still don't know how to deal with anything but what I feel for you, but the guilt, remorse... Anything but love and anger is just..."

Corinthia embraced him, kissing his cheek. "I'm sorry, John. I had no idea..."

He covered her hand with his. "I don't deserve you."

"Bullshit," she answered, flicking his ear playfully. "Besides, deserving or not, you've got me and you're stuck with me for as long as we both shall live." She blanched and slapped a hand over her mouth. "Did I just say that out loud?"

As terrible as he felt, he still couldn't help but smirk. "Cassie, I'm going to marry you eventually and you know it, so don't freak out if you let it slip that you want me to propose eventually. Besides, our lifespans aren't exactly certain, are they? They said I was impossible to kill and I died."

"Why do you think I decided to start sleeping with you?"

"I hope that's a joke..."

She blushed guiltily. "Uh... kinda. I love you and that's about ninety percent of it, but if I was going to lose you again, I couldn't bear to think that you didn't know... that I wouldn't know... I already knew that you'd be my only one, so I figured, 'what the hell? At least he'd be happier and we wouldn't be dancing around it anymore'."

"You do like to prolong sexual tension..."

She giggled. "Sorry. I like drama."

"Yes, well, please, no more in my life. I already have enough, you know."

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry for bringing up bad memories." After a moment, she laughed. "I'm not tired at all now, though."

"I am," Shepard answered. "Unless that was some kind of veiled suggestion."

"Do you want it to be?"

He shook his head. "Not tonight."

"Same thing as before?"

"Yeah."

"Can I at least snuggle?"

He sighed, defeated, and lay back down. "Fine."

She immediately took her place at his side, kissing his lips. "See, Johnny? You didn't scare me off."

His eyes narrowed dangerously. "Don't EVER call me that."

She shivered and moved closer to him. "I'm sorry, John. I won't."

Rufus hopped onto the bed and wedged his way between them, as he was like to do. Corinthia, for once, wasn't annoyed at it. Shepard seemed determined to feel sorry for himself and not accept any form of comfort from her.

"Rufus, move," Shepard growled, picking up the varren and setting him on the foot of the bed. "Damn varren..." he muttered, pulling Corinthia back to him. "I'm sorry, Cassie. I didn't want to argue, but that nickname..."

"I get it, John. Bad memories."

He ran his fingers through her hair. "Yeah... I..."

She kissed him gently. "I'm sorry I pushed you. I don't have to know anything. Whatever happened in the past happened and we can't change it. You aren't anywhere near the man you were when I met you; you've only gotten better. I know you won't go back, either. I love you too much and you love me too much. So, I won't make you tell me anything and I promise I won't look into it. I was just worried about you, that's all. You're normally not anywhere near so reserved when you get back."

"You're usually awake."

"I was tired and didn't think you'd be here so soon."

"You weren't listening in?"

"No, not really. I..." She turned away.

"Imreas?"

She nodded.

"So she isn't gone..."

"You knew that she wasn't. I know we'd hoped, but... Well, something triggered her to speak up. She didn't come out, but..."

He rubbed her back. "It's alright, Cassie. We'll deal with it."

She took a shuddering breath. "I'd just hoped that things were getting better, that we really were winning..."

"What did she say?"

"That she couldn't leave just yet. Too much was uncertain and all that shit."

"And here I was bitching about my past..."

"You're allowed, you know. It wasn't pretty. Besides, do you know the only thing that changed in my mind when you told me that?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Should I be afraid or eager?"

"Aside from the woman thing — which I knew about, by the way — it just convinced me that you were even more badass than I'd thought and you _know_ that I like that." She tickled his ribs.

He waved her off. "God, Ci-Ci. We're talking about badass and you go and do that?"

"Aren't you in a better mood now?"

He nodded. "Much."

"Good." She leaned over him and kissed him.

When she moved to pull away, he didn't let her. He rolled her onto her back, letting his fingers run through her hair and down her sides. "I'm sorry," he murmured, resting his forehead against hers.

"Don't be," she answered softly,putting her arms around his neck. "I love you, so all's forgiven and you don't have to tell me anything."

His pressed his lips against her throat. "Want me to show you, then?"

She giggled and curled a foot around his calf. "It's up to you, Commander. You weren't in the mood a few minutes ago."

"Yeah, well, you can be pretty convincing."

"I know. It's a gift."

With his spot on the bed usurped until Joker radioed in the next morning, Rufus hopped off the mattress and curled up on the couch, head stuck between the pillows. He could sleep through krogan raids, so long as he had a place to sleep. In all honesty, he needed to make the couch his spot instead of the bed; he never really got to sleep on the latter at night, anyway. It's what he got for being adopted by people in love.


	56. Unrevised: Morinth

**_A/N: _**_Thanks to GoogleFloobs for a few suggestions/critiques! Helped me refocus!_

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>15 September 2185 — Afterlife Club, Omega, Sahrabarik System, Omega Nebula<strong>

Shepard ran his fingers through his hair and smoothed it back down again. Corinthia crossed her arms and paced the hallway. "I don't like this, Shepard," she murmured. "I've met Morinth before. I'm totally straight and even she started swaying me."

He nodded, feeling his cheeks and stroking his goatee. "I know," he said softly.

Samara has asked something of Shepard that he had, for one, not expected, but also had never, ever thought he would have to do: Seduce another woman. Worse, she was an Ardat-Yakshi, which meant that if he gave in, he would die. He'd only told Corinthia because... Well, he didn't even know why he'd told her, but he was regretting it. He liked it better when she could just grin at him for coming home alive instead of pouting and, probably, pouncing on him so hard that they wouldn't be getting up (or out of bed) for a week.

She made to touch him, but pulled back at the last moment. "Please, be careful."

"It's not like we have a choice in this," he growled. "You think I want to do this?"

"No, of course not." She shook her head. "So, do whatever you like to the bitch."

He raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"

"No! I mean, don't do... _that_, please, but... I mean... Get rid of her however you want." She took a sharp breath and headed towards the door towards the main club.

"Cassie, wait," Shepard called, catching her wrist. "I love you, alright? I'm not about to forget that when I go in there, no matter how seductive she is."

She sighed. "I know..."

He put his forehead against hers. "I want to hear you say it."

"I love you, John," she whispered.

He released her quickly and stepped towards the VIP door. If he held her for any longer, he wouldn't leave. It was almost as if she'd thought this would be their last farewell... Things were getting out of hand. It was one thing to be in love, but her clinginess was starting to choke him. Still, she was the best thing he had and he wasn't about to give her up because she was a little smothering.

He easily got inside the reserved room. The club was throbbing, but had a higher class of slime and filth than the rest of Afterlife. Shepard knew why Aria didn't hang out in there (she couldn't intimidate anyone on a regular basis), but if he wasn't there on business, he might have enjoyed it. That is, he might have if it hadn't reminded him of the last time he went into a bar wanting someone other than Corinthia.

It had been his birthday. He and Corinthia had just arrived back from a mission (which hadn't held much incident) and were taking a much-desired furlough. Corinthia had dragged him to the other side of Arcturus Station to a place that wasn't populated by marines. There'd been a party thrown for him; he'd never had one before.

Shepard had loosely been considering asking her out, but that night drove all thoughts of it from his mind. He wasn't easily swayed by beauty, but Corinthia had not only been so blind to his advances that she essentially told him to stop flirting with her, but she also pushed him into the arms of another woman. Corinthia told him to "mingle" and it'd advanced to more... It had been a crazy night, but the woman had been able to tell from the start that he'd been wishing she was someone else. It had been eye-opening, in the sense that he decided to stop dicking around and commit to Corinthia, assuming she actually liked him or would be brave enough to fess up to it, but it had also been condemning because he could never forget that night, or any other he'd had, and it rather ruined the ones he'd had with Corinthia.

He dismissed the memories and started scanning the room. He had Samara's and Corinthia's lectures running around in his head, telling him how to seduce Morinth, what to say about art... He needed to think straight and their voices weren't helping. He needed to pretend, be as strong as he was... It was probably the hardest thing he'd ever done, thinking about... _cheating_ on Corinthia, even though that wasn't what it was, not really.

He pressed through the bodies as people danced like drunken madmen. If anything, Shepard was determined not to dance (he didn't know how; the one time with Corinthia had been a fluke... worth it in the end, but still a fluke). But he had to attract Morinth's attention somehow.

"Fuck this," he muttered. Things would've been easier if he could just put a bullet in Morinth's head and leave, but no... He had to complete the mission. He'd never failed one (not including when he died) and he wasn't about to start. Despite feeling completely self-conscious, he grabbed some asari's arm (she had been making eyes at him), dragged her onto the floor, and started dancing.

On the other side of the club, Morinth sipped her drink and gazed over the crowds, trying to find her next victim. There was so much fun in the seduction, the dominance, the joining, the kill...

Her eyes fell on Shepard. She could feel his sheer presence and it sent chills up her spine. He had the look of danger, calm, pure awesome power... This man was capable of anything. The cold in his eyes was more than attractive; it was a challenge, begging her to accept. He'd experienced things that no one could understand and had been touched by something magnificent.

He was going to be hers.

The fun, though, lay in the hunt. She was the sort to lure in her prey, not to go after them. She settled herself in, ensuring that if his eyes brushed by her that he'd have a very good idea of her assets, and watched and waited. There was more he would have to do before he could earn a night and death with her.

Shepard found Morinth almost as soon as he drew near her. Worse, he could feel her eyes pulling at him to make him gaze, lust, and enjoy her. For a moment, he forgot that he was in love, that someone was waiting for him on the other side. This asari made Liara look like a child, he saw that now. Morinth was breathtaking, confident, calm... Everything that Corinthia wasn't.

He was sitting across from the Ardat-Yakshi before he realized it. Morinth's lips slowly curved into a sultry, yet cruel, smile. It had begun.

* * *

><p><strong>2 hours later, Morinth's Apartment<strong>

Shepard's heart raced, something out of fear and something out of anticipation. There had been more to Morinth than he expected. He'd been lying through his teeth about himself, but the sinking feeling he'd had about seducing her had turned into an actual desire to do it. He wanted to know if he was good enough for her to consume. The danger... He'd forgotten what it was like to feel the opiate rush of knowing his adversary could easily kill him, if she wanted, but she wasn't going to because she wanted him. He hadn't been teased like this since... He couldn't remember when. Morinth was a confident, strong woman and she knew exactly what she desired.

So, he decided to toy with her as well, make her wait. The sex was better when the woman was impatient, but not in control. He wandered around her apartment, a strange deja vu rising in his gut. Everything looked familiar. Hell, that one sculpture looked like Corinthia's sty —

His stomach plunged. Corinthia. He'd forgotten about her. He'd been so charmed, seduced... All of his issues with her had surfaced, albeit indirectly, because Morinth had been everything he wished Corinthia would be.

"Come, now, Solomon," Morinth cooed. "Or can I call you Sol?"

Shepard closed his eyes. "If you have to."

"Touchy, are we?"

"Last girl I had liked to give me nicknames. I just don't want to have to make comparisons," he answered calmly.

Morinth laughed. "Because I'm that much better?"

"Because there is no comparison." Shepard touched the bas relief before him. "This is nice. Enig?"

"Very good. Yes, I bought this right as she started her career. There's something about her Achilles that always sends chills up my spine... Like you, actually."

Shepard smirked. He knew very well that every single Achilles Ariade had ever sculpted was based off of him, just as every Iphigenia was secretly Corinthia (it was her middle name, after all). "I knew her before she started her career."

"You must have been some kind of influence," Morinth purred. She shifted impatiently. Normally her prey didn't dawdle. On any other day, they'd be on their backs and Morinth would already be feeling the bliss of the joining... Oh, how she wanted him... She got to her feet and stalked up behind him, putting her hand just where his neck met his shoulders and pressing gently. She felt him shiver (though she thought it was with pleasure). "You know, I met her once as well. Pretty little thing, with some very dangerous scars... But she wasn't good enough for me."

"I get the feeling no one's good enough for you," Shepard murmured, turning to face the asari.

She traced a finger along his jawline. "I think you might be, if you're brave enough to try." She leaned in to kiss him, her eyes wide open and drawing him in.

Shepard avoided her at the last moment. "Funny thing about Ariadne. She's still my girlfriend."

Morinth smiled. "So that will make this all the more fun."

Before she knew what was happening, Morinth was flying across the room, hit simultaneously by Shepard's biotic barrier and Samara's biotic pull. Morinth was on her feet in seconds, screaming in betrayal, and attacking her mother. Shepard knew better than to get in the middle of cat fights, but this was going to end very badly if he didn't intervene.

Morinth and Samara came to a standstill, pushing against each other with their biotics.

"Shepard, help me!" Samara called.

"No, me!" Morinth screeched. "I'm just as powerful as she is. Just think of the power I can give you."

"Don't listen to her!"

Shepard shook his head quickly, trying to get Morinth out, and drew his pistol. "Samara, kill the bitch."

* * *

><p><strong>16 September 2185 — Main Battery, <em>SSV Normandy<em>, Omega, Sahrabarik System, Omega Nebula**

Garrus hadn't missed Omega at all. They'd barely even opened the airlocks and he could still smell it: desperation, death, despair...

Shepard came in, sitting on some crate. He hadn't even bothered to wipe Morinth's blood off of his arms and face, which meant that he hadn't seen Corinthia yet, either. "Garrus," Shepard greeted wearily.

"Shepard," the turian answered. "Haven't seen you down here in a while."

"Been busy."

"Who's dead this time?"

"Samara's daughter."

"Does she know?"

"She killed her."

Garrus shook his head. "And this is why I don't date asari..."

Shepard's stomach twinged with guilt.

"You alright?" Garrus asked, frowning (as much a turian could, anyway). "The mission go that bad?"

"That isn't how I'd put it," Shepard muttered.

Garrus stopped fiddling with the guns and closed the door. "Alright, tell me what's eating you."

"You gonna play counselor?"

"You didn't come here to ask how I was doing with the guns, did you?"

Shepard hung his head. "It's Morinth. I can't shake her..."

"Morinth being...?"

"Samara's daughter. The Ardat-Yakshi."

"Right. Go on."

"She... She seduced me. Or maybe I did her. I don't know. It's all fucked in my head, now. Thing is, I went in there thinking that no one could have anything that Ci-Ci didn't, but the fact is that Morinth had a lot of things going for that that I wish Ci-Ci did. I just had been too... distracted to realize it."

"So you've got doubts. Everyone does. Hell, you know that I do, Shepard," Garrus answered, almost cheerfully.

"But you know I don't second guess myself," Shepard answered immediately, half desperate. "You know that I haven't looked at anyone except Ci-Ci since the first _Normandy_. What the hell's wrong with me?"

"Easy, Shepard," Garrus answered, awkwardly patting Shepard on the shoulder. "Have you talked to her yet?"

"How can I? Do I just go in there and tell her that I want her to seduce me? Act her age? Part of me likes her better when she's being Ariadne than herself..." Shepard sighed and ran his hands over his face. "She's childish, ignorant, dependent... clingy."

Garrus chuckled. "You can be that last one, too, you know. I can't remember the last time you guys actually hung out down here. I mean, she shows up every so often and starts up all kinds of mischief with Kasumi and the other girls when you're on a mission, but you..."

"I know. I'm feeling it, too," Shepard murmured. "The worst part is that she's making me go soft."

Garrus cocked his head to one side. "So is that what Zaeed was cursing about?"

"He's still pissed?"

"Yep."

"I guess it's warranted. I did to him what I did to you."

Garrus's eyes flickered darkly. He'd gotten over not getting his revenge, but part of him still wanted it. "That seems to be the theme... You're becoming a hero, Shepard."

"Don't remind me. I mean, it's great not to have Ci-Ci mad at me all the time, but honestly? I _miss_ being able to do whatever the fuck I want. I so much as raise my gun at someone and I get her voice in my head telling me not to do it 'or else,'" he finished, mimicking her voice. "It's like I've got a tea-pot going off in my head twenty-four/seven. I REALLY don't like having a conscience. Hell, it was kinda fun to go ape-shit on everything like we did when we first set out."

Garrus nodded. "Yeah, I remember. All we needed was Wrex and we would've destroyed the galaxy before you could save it."

"I'm not sure that would've been a bad thing..."

"So long as you didn't side with the bastard we're still working for."

"God, I hope she lets me cut him limb from limb... I know Morinth would... She would've joined in, let me be... ruthless, but that's not the right word... Sadistic. Yeah, let me be sadistic..."

Garrus didn't know how to tell Shepard that the conversation was not, exactly, comfortable. "Then don't take Ci-Ci along. Or make sure that Imreas is the one along. What was going on with that, anyway? She better yet?"

"I don't know anymore. I'm not sure she does, either."

"It's why you've been leaving her here, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, if you want to do what you want, take her with you."

"And get her hurt again?"

Garrus shrugged. "Honestly, I liked her better when she wasn't... er... whatever she is now. You humans gauge beauty on completely different measures. We turians look at waists and hers is... supportive."

Shepard snickered. "Taking a liking to my girl?"

"When she isn't howling like a pack of space monkeys, yes."

"I was thinking cackling like a flock of sea gulls."

"I don't know what those are."

"The white rats that shit on everything."

"I haven't been to Earth."

"Oh... Right. Well, they're nasty, annoying..."

"You know that this is Ci-Ci you're talking about right now..."

Shepard nodded. "Yeah, I know... But still..."

Garrus crossed his arms. "So what's she done lately?"

"Asked too many questions," Shepard answered simply. "And she made me grow a beard..." He ran his fingers through his hair, which had grown quite a bit so that he no longer looked like a member of the military, and scratched his chin. As glad as he was to be rid of most of the facial hair, what was left still bothered him. "It itches like hell."

"So get rid of it. You're acting like she's the one calling the shots."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Part of me wants to go back to how we were on the first _Normandy_..."

"When she practically ran away from you whenever you came near her?"

"No. That was Hell incarnate. I'm talking about when it was... Well, her clinging to me and not the other way around."

"I thought you said that you wanted her to be different..."

"I do, but I'd rather... Fuck! This whole goddamn mess is so fucking... ARGH!" Shepard slammed his fist into the wall. "I want her to be a woman, not some frightened child, but I don't want to need her like I do. I don't want to be afraid to lose her or really think that it'll happen. I'd rather she be shy and inexperienced and a virgin instead of... of... a horny teenager."

Garrus shifted uncomfortably. "Why haven't you talked to her?"

"Because the second she sees me she's going to pounce, kiss, and fuck me into submission," Shepard growled. "She talks all the time, never listens to me, lets me talk when I want to... She's just argues, doesn't get why I feel the way I do or how I'm even capable of emotion half the time."

Garrus shook his head. "You're asking the wrong person for advice, Shepard. I'm not exactly... experienced with females, especially of your species."

"Sorry, Garrus, but you're the only man on this ship I can trust, and it's not like I can message Alenko and ask... Not that he'd tell me much of anything."

"Why not ask Miranda?"

"And make Ci-Ci pissed at me? Hell, no."

"Shepard, I'm just trying to help. Fact is that no one on this ship except Ci-Ci can help you. Well, maybe Dr. Chakwas could, but the best I can do is listen and give you some funny anecdote about my most recent encounter with a female."

Shepard "I'll listen to anything right now if it'll make me suck it up and deal with it."

Garrus shrugged. "If you really want to hear it."

"I asked, didn't I?"

"Fine. So, turians run their ships with discipline... Not anything like you do now. We even have fights to let off steam, get out bad blood, you know the drill."

"Sounds like a good idea. Miranda versus Jack... That'd get bloody," Shepard mused, relishing the thought.

Garrus chuckled. "Ken and Joker would be down here in a heartbeat. Anyway, there was another soldier aboard, and she and I had always been competing. We were both good, but I had reach and she had flexibility."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "So you fought."

"Yeah, and it was a draw... But we settled it outside the ring, later." Garrus's eyes glittered. "Like I said: I had reach, and she had... flexibility."

Shepard laughed. "I can see you being a ladies' man."

"Are you kidding me?" Garrus asked. "I get nervous hanging out with the female crew mates alone, even Ci-Ci."

"I get it with her. She's..."

"Insane?" Garrus offered.

"Yeah... Wanna go have some drinks?"

"Yes. For the old days?"

"We could even bring Joker."

Garrus chuckled. "I would like to see him drunk... but what do you think EDI will do to the ship?"

"Nothing," Shepard replied, standing and stretching. "No one here is going to do anything against me, or at least they'd better not after all the goddamn errands I've run for them..."

Garrus shook his head. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss the Alliance calling the shots. At least we knew what we were doing... even if it was annoying to be routed at every turn."

"Better than running blind into traps every single time we do something worthwhile..."

"He given you another mission yet?"

"Yeah. I've been avoiding it..." Shepard glanced towards Miranda's office like she was eavesdropping. "Honestly, I have a bad feeling about it..."

"And you don't want Imreas coming back."

"I don't mind. She's one hell of a better fighter than Ci-Ci is, normally. It's more like she was when I first met her on Elysium..."

"You should tell her, then."

Shepard snorted. "I can see how that works. 'Cassie, grow up. Now.'"

"Did you expect it to be perfect?"

"Yes," Shepard answered without any hesitation whatsoever.

"I thought you were a cynic."

"I was just bitching to you, wasn't I?"

"Yeah, you're definitely getting... what was that phrase you used? Hammer slammed?"

"Slam-hammered." Shepard clapped Garrus on the shoulder. "And we're going to get into a fight while we're at it, too."

"Oh, no. You aren't trying to out-drink a krogan again, are you?"

Shepard just grinned deviously.

Garrus shook his head. "We're going to need back up if I'm going to get you home."

"Joker?"

"Better: Mordin. I'm not even sure he'd understand us getting drunk."

"He'd probably start lecturing us about the alcohol's effects on our bodies," Shepard answered. "There's always Jacob... He might get a personality if he's hammered, you know."

"Grunt would just talk about beheading turians," Garrus mused.

"Ken would talk about what he thought every female member of the crew would look like naked."

Shepard scratched his chin. "What would Thane do?"

"That _is_ a very good question."

"Should we invite him?"

"And pull a Ci-Ci? No. I thought this was going to be another man-night, but this time without bitching about how she doesn't know you like her."

"This time it'll be about all my issues with her and how the hell I'm going to propose"

Garrus blinked. "You're going to do that? In the middle of everything?"

"It's probably going to happen after a particularly bad life-threatening situation, but I'm not marrying her in the middle of all of this. We don't have time and she's got that imagination... God, if she puts me though a big wedding..."

"She wouldn't do that to you."

"We're practically married already, anyway," Corinthia interrupted.

Shepard stiffened. "Ci-Ci."

"Shep," she answered coldly, having clearly heard most of their conversation.

She hadn't had any idea that Shepard was annoyed with her, other than for her pestering him with too many questions... and his usual bits with her: childishness, clinginess, giggliness, childishness... No wonder why he liked Ariadne better. Corinthia tucked her hair behind one ear, her stomach sinking a little. She'd been so distracted by the advance in their relationship that she'd forgotten... She'd give him space. He probably needed it. He was working himself to death, running across the galaxy, and was growing more and more frustrated with the lack of progress. In a sense, she had the impression that his mission had, really, been to get her back. He'd accomplished that ages before and now was just itching for his kind of fight. He didn't even have _her_ to fix anymore. He was a man of action and there was none to be had, not outside of their relationship.

Admittedly, she'd lost some of her spine. She'd been so afraid that Imreas would surface that she'd forgotten what she was capable of without having a dark side to come out and take over in a pinch. Then again, Shepard probably wouldn't let her off the _Normandy_ any time soon. His protectiveness was endearing, but also irking her a little. She was a Spectre. She could handle danger. She had, with or without Imreas, and certainly could in the future. So maybe the Reapers were trying to tear her mind apart, but she just needed to be stronger.

"Garrus, would you give us a moment?" she asked.

Garrus nodded. "I'll just, uh... I'll find out what Thane does when he's drunk." He left guiltily.

Shepard crossed his arms. "Don't start, Ci-Ci..."

She held up a hand. "I'm not going to, Shepard," she said softly, "because you're right, about some of it. The fact is that we chose a terrible time to get together and you and I are just on completely different levels."

His stomach plunged. It sounded exactly like she was about to break up with him.

"And that's my fault," she continued. "I know that what I've been through is probably nothing in comparison to you, but I've... lost myself."

"Tell me about it," Shepard muttered.

She released a slow breath. "I'm not coming with you next time."

His eyes narrowed dangerously. "What?"

"Or the time after that," she continued, desperately trying to stay strong enough to say what she had to. "I've been living three lives and they're all... all too separate. Any traits I used to have that they took, I've lost... You've noticed, I know you have. So I just need... I'm going to Illium. I'm staying with Liara until I can... reset, I guess. Don't argue with me, please," she whispered weakly. "Staying here is just going to make it worse."

Shepard stared at her in disbelief. "So what about us?"

She hung her head, trying to hide her tears. "I don't know..." she breathed.

"So were you lying when you told me you loved me?" he demanded.

"Of course not! I just... just..."

"Just what? Can't handle it? You're a fucking coward, that's what you are. You're too scared to even say that this isn't working, that you're not ready for it, or that you're just hanging on to me because I'm the only guy that ever liked you, and guess what? I liked you better with the scars!"

She bit her lip and swallowed a sob. She managed to blurt, "I'm sorry," before she darted off to the elevators.

Shepard clenched a fist and gritted his teeth. He hadn't meant to yell at her, but everything was about to come to a head. His emotions had been running high from the last mission, anyway, and the fact that she'd eavesdropped just made him snap. He didn't even feel guilty for it, either. Part of him was determined to be angry with her and he was going to indulge it. She needed to get the point, too, that her giggling wasn't going to cut it in the future.

"Commander, Ci-Ci's trying to escape," Joker called over the intercom, Corinthia's racket as the pounded at the door echoing chaotically. "She's got a bag and Rufus with her. So... uh..."

"Let her go and take us out to the Fuel Depot," Shepard ordered.

"You mean we're leaving her here?"

"That's an order, Joker," Shepard growled.

Corinthia's din faded and Joker released a slow breath. "She's not going to destroy my baby, now, is she?"

"Just get us out of here and link me to the Illusive Man," Shepard hissed, heading to Kasumi's room.

She frowned when he came in. "You know, you shouldn't —"

"Fuck off," He snapped, grabbing the biggest bottle of liquor he could find from the bar and storming out.

Kasumi watched him leave, cloaked herself, and sprinted towards the airlock. But she was too late. The _Normandy_ was already leaving. She cursed under her breath (making Joker look around and mutter something about EDI attempting to take control), opened her omni-tool, and quickly began writing a message. It was best the crew be prepared for an angry/drunk Shepard before he ended up cutting someone's throat.

Miranda entered the CIC. "Did I hear what I think I did?" she asked smartly.

"Yep," Joker answered. "Ci-Ci's bailed."

"This isn't good," Miranda muttered. "Go back."

"And piss of the Commander more? Yeah, right. I like breathing, thanks,"

"If she's not here, there's no hope of controlling him."

"Eesh. Not my problem. Talk to the Commander if you want. I bet he'll tell you to fuck off or something. That's usually what he does, anyway." A part of his screen flashed. Joker pressed the intercom button. "I've got the Illusive Man, Commander."

There wasn't any answer other than the elevator doors opening, a loud curse at Kelly, and Shepard snapping at Mordin as the professor started to try and analyze the Commander and Corinthia (again).

"Think she'll come back?" Joker asked softly.

"I hope so," Miranda murmured. She didn't want to relive the first few weeks aboard the _Normandy_ when he'd been vengeful. It had been bad enough, but now that she'd chosen to leave, things would only become worse than ever before. Shepard didn't forgive easily and, from the sound of the argument, Corinthia had decided to leave him and it hadn't sounded like she was returning anytime soon.

"Yeah, me too," Joker answered.

"EDI, I want you to keep an eye on her," Miranda ordered.

"I will do what I can," the AI replied. "I may not be able to track her location, but I will keep her updated as to our activities, at least."

"Thank you, EDI. Do not tell the Illusive Man, either, or of anything else aboard. Submit your observations to me, first."

"Understood, Ms. Lawson."

Joker moved his chair up to the controls. "Looks like we've got new coordinates. Uh... where is that?"

"Where we're going next," Shepard answered, coming out of the comm room, still clutching his bottle of alcohol. "Get us there and don't bother me."

"Aye, aye, Commander." Joker shook his head. "Anyone else get the feeling that this is about to be very, very bad?"

"Yes," Miranda answered. "Definitely."


	57. Unrevised: Imreas

_**A/N 13 February 2012: **So, some of you may have noticed that I am re-posting chapter 57. I was HIGHLY unsatisfied with the last chapter, to the point that I regretted posting it and felt embarrassed that I had. So, here is the new one. **PLEASE RE-READ! There is literally NO overlap with what happened in the previous version of chapter 57.** Thanks!_

_**Disclaimer**: Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>16 September 2185 — Omega, Sahrabarik System, Omega Nebula<strong>

Corinthia instantly regretted stepping out of the Normandy the moment the doors hissed closed behind her. She desperately wanted Shepard to come charging after her and beg her to come back — No, not even beg her to. Ask, drag, order... something. Anything.

Worse, she knew it wasn't a mistake to leave. He had been right: she was immature. She couldn't handle the relationship. She was just... He was her first, in almost every way, and her desperate clinging to him had ruined everything. They weren't even really friends anymore. A chill ran up her spine as she realized Shepard was, in all likelihood, thinking the exact same thing. She was too weak for him... Not even worthy of him. He had enough of an ego to think something like that, but it'd be justified because he'd be right.

The Normandy pulled away from the dock. Her omni-tool flared to life. "Ci-Ci," EDI radioed, "Ms. Lawson has asked me to establish a link to you."

Corinthia wiped her eyes. "I'll let you through the firewalls..."

"If you would like, I will submit updates regarding our progress."

"Yes, please... Thank you." Corinthia took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and tried to think of anything but what had just happened. Almost instantly, Ariadne's coolly detached personality surfaced. Her stomach plunged. That wasn't right. Ariadne was just a figment of her imagination, a fake woman with an accent...

"This isn't good, Rufus," she muttered, stroking the varren's head.

Rufus whined plaintively and looked off towards the Normandy.

"Don't worry, buddy. You'll be able to annoy Joker before much longer," Corinthia lied.

Rufus growled happily and trotted a bit ahead of her.

With little other choice, Corinthia wandered into Omega. Everything felt disjointed, and the chaos of the station didn't help one bit. Her vision blurred and she felt faint. For a brief moment, she thought Imreas was going to surface.

Damn it, girl, you're better than this, Imreas hissed. You're acting like a fucking coward. Pull yourself together or I'll do it for you.

"But..." Corinthia breathed. She looked around, eyes falling on Imreas, leaning against a wall and looking more dangerous than ever. "Oh, shit..."

"'Oh, shit' is right," Imreas answered coldly. Though her features were identical to Corinthia's, Imreas was the incarnation of everything dark within her soul. Her clothing, make-up, and hair even reflected it. "Didn't ever expect to see me, again, did you?"

Corinthia looked away guiltily. Imreas had stopped being something Corinthia saw since she and Shepard got back together. "I thought..."

"You thought? You thought? The only thought going through that fucking immature head of yours is how Shepard is going to fuck you next," Imreas answered angrily. "I could deal with you not being able to handle the goddamn Reapers, but this? Fucking insulting. I've kept my mouth shut, but not anymore."

Corinthia knew that anyone looking at her would think she was insane, especially for yelling at a wall... but, then again, she had no idea if she was Imreas right then or not — meaning, if she was Imreas looking at Cassiopeia or Cassiopeia looking at Imreas or Ariadne looking at them both... Her mind warned her that it would shut down if she thought about it too hard.

"What the hell was I supposed to do?" Corinthia replied desperately. "I'm not like you! John was the only thing I had. I didn't want to lose him again."

"You were supposed to handle it like an adult, not some pussy for hire."

"Oh, really? YOU were the one telling me to seduce him every single time he came into our room!"

"So I like seeing him naked. So what?"

"This is..." Corinthia gritted her teeth. "You are not taking over. Period. I'm not going to let it happen."

Imreas's lips twitched into a smirk. "Is that so? Prove it. Prove you can survive without me."

Corinthia glanced around. "What do you want me to do? Start a fight? Blow my own brains out? I know that I can't get rid of you without getting rid of myself, so let's make this look as sane as possible, shall we?"

"I can always go find Ariadne, if you want," Imreas taunted. "Have some kind of fucked-up girl fight."

Corinthia rolled her eyes. "If you are my id, then I am definitely going to start seeing a therapist."

Imreas straightened. "And what if I were to say that Shepard needs me more than he needs you?"

Corinthia opened her mouth to argue, but no words came out. An hour before, she would've laughed the comment off, but it was an hour later and she didn't know the answer anymore.

"I know you're already thinking about how to go back to him. Fact is, you can't," Imreas continued darkly.

"No..." Corinthia breathed, shutting her eyes.

"You may not want to listen, but you don't have a choice," Imreas hissed. "I let you have control, just to see what would happen, and you turned into a pet. I didn't even like Ariadne and at least she could handle the pressure. But you... you're weak. Insignificant. Obsolete. You can't fucking save a galaxy when you're busy nailing him. 'Ci-Ci' doesn't have a place anymore — not here, not anywhere, and sure as hell not inside you — and you know it." Imreas grabbed Corinthia's collar. "So you'd better listen to me, kid. You're better off getting fucked sideways by the Reapers than you are aboard that goddamn ship."

Corinthia opened her eyes, staring Imreas down. It wasn't easy. As a matter of fact, it was probably the single-most frightening thing she had ever done. Imreas was Corinthia, so she was seeing the darkness within herself that she had been too afraid to admit to.

"So you expect me to change just like that?" Corinthia whispered.

"I expect you to let him go."

Corinthia threw Imreas off. "Fuck you."

"That's more like it..." Imreas cooed. "But it doesn't mean I'm wrong. You were stronger without him. Remember all that shit you did after he died? How it was your name people feared? It's still in there. Just bring it back. You know as well as I do that you're stronger by being half-bad than you ever were being all good."

"No..."

"Cold, withdrawn, alone... Trusting only those you must and thumbing your nose at all the rules... You're a fucking Spectre. About time you started acting like it again."

"If you're so desperate for me to act like you, then why aren't you in control?" Corinthia screamed.

Imreas froze, unable to answer.

"That's what I thought. Fact is you need me to even exist," Corinthia muttered, clenching a fist. "A bit less giggling isn't going to change anything, bitch. But you were right about one thing... I can't do this without you."

Imreas's face lit up. "Good..."

"And by that I mean that I'll put a bullet in my brain before I ever, ever let myself become you," Corinthia finished, drawing her pistol and levelling it between Imreas's eyes. "So fuck off."

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard's Quarters, SSV Normandy SR-2, Sahrabarik System<strong>

Shepard stared at his computer monitor, trying to find the strength to bring himself to call Corinthia. It didn't come. Outside, he could hear Garrus practicing what to say. No doubt the turian thought that everything was his own fault. Shepard was pissed, but he wasn't in denial. He knew very well that the problem was between him and Corinthia, not anyone else. Garrus and Morinth were just catalysts.

Finally, Garrus came in.

"Commander, I —"

"Not your fault," Shepard interrupted.

"No, it is. If I hadn't said some of that stuff..."

"She's not your girlfriend, Garrus."

"But she is my friend and I'm yours. I should've told you to go to her."

"I did, didn't I? It was just... not what I expected."

Garrus eyed the near-empty bottle of bourbon on Shepard's desk. "I recall you being a happy drunk."

"Not this time. I'm just... Christ, what the hell have I done?"

"You know she'll be fine, Shepard. She can take care of herself."

"Yeah... I know..." Shepard rubbed his eyes. "I was just too stupid to realize that it wouldn't work. I'm still in love with her. I wasn't for a few minutes back there, but I am again now."

Garrus shifted uneasily. "You know this isn't my thing, Shepard, but if you need to talk, I'll listen."

"Thanks, Garrus." Shepard opened his communication link and closed it after a few seconds. "I just don't think I can ask her to come back. It'd mean that I'm apologizing... Not that I wouldn't, anyway, but the fact is that I wasn't wrong."

Garrus didn't have an answer. Human relationships were confounding, as Mordin kept projecting. No doubt the doctor would already be looking for some kind of drug to fix Shepard before everything went to hell.

Shepard sighed and got to his feet, gripping the desk for support as he swayed. "Fuck... Don't I have something else I should be doing?"

"I'm not the best one to ask. Miranda usually keeps up with that."

Shepard fumbled for the intercom. "Randy! Take us... somewhere. Do something. But not for that sneaky rat bastard fuck you call a boss."

Garrus raised his brows. "Alright, I think you've had enough to drink for tonight, Commander. Good thing your bed's right here..."

* * *

><p><strong>25 September 2185 — Liara's Offices, Illium, Tasale System, Crescent Nebula<strong>

Liara looked up as Corinthia (and Rufus) entered. For a moment, the Asari wasn't sure that she was seeing correctly. Corinthia was usually dressed up like Ariadne or "grunging" as herself, but this... Liara had no words. Corinthia looked like she hadn't slept in days, had been in a fight every half-hour, and, for probably the first time that Liara could remember, had absolutely positively no semblance of a smile on her viasge.

Liara immediately got to her feet. "Ci-Ci... You look... What happened?"

Corinthia shook her head vaguely. For a moment, Liara thought she was talking to Imreas, but then Corinthia simply shut the office door and collapsed onto the floor. "Shit..."

Liara ran over. "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

"I'll explain in a second, but for now..." Corinthia closed her eyes and fell backwards onto the floor with a groan of relief. "That's much better."

Rufus nuzzled Liara's elbow expectantly. Liara waved him off. "You look sick."

"You don't know how right you are..."

"Should I call a doctor?"

"What? Oh, no. I'm not that kind of sick." Corinthia propped herself up on her elbows. "I've just been... dealing with some things."

"Garrus told me."

"Garrus? Not..."

Liara shook her head. "He said that Shepard can't bring himself to contact you."

"Yeah, I thought as much." Corinthia lay back again. "Make it stop..."

"Ci-Ci, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on."

"Corinthia."

"What?"

"Call me Corinthia. Or Cassiopeia, if you have to, but not Ci-Ci or Cassie or anything like that."

"What's gotten into you? You're not yourself."

"There was never a self for me to be," Corinthia replied irately. She rolled onto her stomach and got to her knees. "Fact is, I've been finishing up some of that Spectre business I'd put off to be with Shepard."

"That would explain why you look like you've been in a fight..." Liara murmured.

"I have been. Non-stop. Some idiots on Omega thought they could hustle me, then I had to get Rufus back from a krogan thinking it was his varren... Long story short, I've got the Shadow Broker and Eclipse after me right now."

"So you came to me?" Liara asked, blinking. "Ci — Cassiopeia, you know how important my work is!"

"Don't worry, Liara. I thought through that already." Corinthia straightened, stretched, and opened her omni-tool. "Fact is, they're hunting Ariadne."

"Oh, no. Not this again..."

"What?"

"I am not going to help you kill yourself," Liara stated firmly, taking a seat behind her desk. "It was difficult enough to hide you once."

"I'm not running this time. I'm taking a stand."

"You're going to ruin your entire business."

"Already took care of that. You bought me out six months ago."

"I... I did?"

Corinthia smirked, her devious self surfacing a little beneath her wan features. "Pretty soon the entire galaxy is going to know that I'm still alive and everyone is going to know that I was Ariadne."

"I am confused. Perhaps you skipped something in your explanation."

Corinthia sat down, scratching Rufus's chin. "I have the Eclipse tailing me on purpose. I've got it all planned out. Uh... Remember how I kinda mentioned that I bought myself a really, really, really big toy?"

"I do remember you asking me for money afterwards, yes."

"I actually bought a Mass Relay..."

"You must be joking..."

"The one to Ilos. It's the only way I could secure it so that we have sole access to the goods there. And to keep Vigil as intact as possible, but that's another story that's mostly irrelevant now. Anyway, I'm going through there and taking out the baddies on the other side."

"So, this trap... Are you the only one springing it?"

"Yep."

"How do you even know it's going to work?"

"I picked up a few things from EDI."

"Ah... That is the Normandy's AI, correct?"

"Mmhm."

"I don't like this, Ci — Why can't I call you 'Ci-Ci' anymore?"

"Too childish," Corinthia answered vaguely, waving a hand in dismissal.

"I see... So why have you come to me?"

"So that you can tell Shepard where to find me as a backup plan in case I botch it. Which is possible. Probable. Anyway, just tell Shepard, alright? In, like, a week or something. I've already given EDI access to the Relay, but he'll need to come get me, though."

"And just how will your enemies get through?"

"I'll let them in... and trap them there, but that's their own problem, now, isn't it?"

"You've gone insane..."

"Thanks for noticing."

Liara narrowed her eyes. Corinthia's last line wasn't even sarcastic. "You know I was exaggerating."

Corinthia shrugged. "Whatever. Oh, well, alright, there is another reason why I came here."

"Which is?"

"Take care of Rufus for me, will ya? I don't want to leave him alone on my ship for God knows how long."

"I will. He can scare off my enemies."

"Yeah, about that... If he gets aggressive, his safety word is 'Schnapps'. Don't ask why, but it'll stop him from biting someone. And make sure you reward him for attacking. I like my guard baby trained. Yes I do! Yes I do!" she cooed, petting Rufus's head.

Liara raised her eyebrows. Corinthia had gone from half-dead to her usual self in only a few minutes. Though certainly capable of such dramatic changes, it was unnerving. Something about her was still off, but Liara couldn't quite place it. It was as if Corinthia's focus hadn't actually been in the room, but somewhere else... on something else.

With a final cheerful goodbye, Corinthia left. Liara sighed. Being Corinthia's friend was getting more confusing by the minute.

* * *

><p><strong>3 October 2185 — Mess Area, SSV-NormandySR-2, en route to the Citadel<strong>

Shepard, Garrus, Jacob, and Ken nearly fell out of their seats laughing as Zaeed and Grunt faced off at arm wrestling. It wasn't that the match was funny, but rather the insults that they were throwing at each other:

"That the best you can do, you hunchbacked turtle?"

"Keep talking like that and you'll lose your head, you one-eyed rundown."

"One-eyed rundown, is it, you motherless soft-shelled crab?"

"You heard me, you over-compensating windbag."

Even Thane was smiling. No one really expected the drell to have a sense of humor, but at least he was out and about on the ship rather than lapsing into solipsism in the life support area.

Miranda came out. "What on earth is going on?"

"A competition, you sweet-hipped big-bosomed succubus," Zaeed growled, not breaking his gaze from Grunt.

"We're proving who's the stronger species, you interfering black-haired witch," Grunt added.

Miranda crossed her arms. "Unbelievable."

Shepard stopped laughing for long enough to say, "We already know the answer to that: homo Shepardien."

"What was that?" Zaeed growled, putting up another hand to fight Grunt. "Argh! Slimy, shiny-skinned bastard!"

Jacob scratched his head. "I think you lost them there, Commander."

Shepard shrugged. "I thought it was funny."

"I think only Ci-Ci would've," Ken muttered so that only Garrus could hear. Shepard was still testy when her name came up, though he had been blessedly more calm than they'd expected. As a matter of fact, they'd accomplished more in the few weeks than they had in the previous two months. Even Shepard was loathe to admit that they were almost ready to face the Collectors. The _Normandy_ was fully upgraded, he'd finished every possible mission that had come up, and he was doing everything in his power to avoid talking to the Illusive Man. The Commander wanted Corinthia back, but he didn't know how - or even if - he could convince her to return. The crew liked having her around, certainly, but, now that Shepard actually _talked_ to people, they were discovering that he wasn't as bad as he'd led them to believe.

Miranda put her hand on her hips. "Commander, I need to talk to you."

"Not now," Shepard answered, waving her away.

"I've heard from Ci-Ci."

He stiffened, not answering. It was a long moment before Miranda was sure that he wasn't even aware of his surroundings any longer.

Miranda tapped her foot. "So are we going to talk out here or in my office?"

After a moment, he got to his feet and went with her. "What the fuck does she want?" he muttered. As apathetic as he tried to sound, his heart was racing in anticipation.

Miranda sat, putting her fingertips together. "You may want to have a seat."

Shepard's stomach plummeted. "Is she dead?" he blurted before he could stop himself.

"Missing."

Shepard took a deep breath, preparing for the worst. "When?"

"A few hours ago. This time we know what happened." Miranda continued at Shepard's indication. "The Shadow Broker has a sizable bounty on her head. This caught the attention of the Eclipse, not to mention his own agents, so a contingent formed to hunt her down."

"And they cornered her."

"It isn't that simple. She trapped them as well."

"Where?"

"On the other side of the Mu Relay."

Shepard's eyes narrowed. "Ilos."

Miranda nodded. "Whatever she was planning, it isn't what happened."

"EDI!"

"Yes, Commander?" the AI answered.

"Change of course. Get us to the Mu Relay. Now."

"As you wish, Commander."

"What the hell's going on?" Joker demanded. "We can't just stop!"

"The Commander has ordered a new course, Mr. Moreau."

"I heard. Doesn't mean you can just take control like that."

"Stop bickering and get your asses into gear!" Shepard snapped at the pilot(s), heading out the door of Miranda's office. "Not you guys. I've got credits riding on this competition and it's going to finish," he continued, as if nothing had happened.

Miranda muted the intercom before turning back to her computer. "It seems I didn't need to reveal you as my source, Ms. T'Soni."

"I understand, Ms. Lawson," Liara answered. "And you're certain that I will have Cerberus's cooperation?"

"Though perhaps not all of Cerberus, you will of the Lazarus Cell. I may be the head in Cerberus's eyes, but we follow the Commander. All of us."

"That's good to hear. From what I understand, he is going to need all the allies he can find."


	58. Unrevised: A Turn

_**A/N: **If you read Chapter 57 before 13 February 2012, please re-read! I replaced the entirety of the content and the former version is obsolete._

_**Disclaimer: **_Mass Effect_ is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine._

_I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!_

_Thank you for reading. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>5 October 2185—Derelict Freighter <em>Helene<em>, orbiting Ilos, Refuge System, Pangea Expanse**

Corinthia's ship wasn't big, but the name in and of itself was enough to tell Shepard that it was hers. She hadn't spent much on the piece of junk. Judging by the interior (which was little more than a glorified cockpit) there had been a fight recently. Other than that, there was no sign of life whatsoever. Shepard didn't like it. Finding her had been easy, sure, but this was just... Something wasn't right.

"So where the hell is she?" Shepard growled, opening the ship's navigation computer.

"Online," EDI said.

"That was quick."

"Commander Corinthia has allowed me access. Opening security footage now."

The screen came to life. Corinthia was in full armor, looking all business. Every so often, she would move to adjust one of the controls.

"Liara, you there?" she asked, voice processed by the bad recording.

"I'm here, Cassiopeia," Liara answered.

"I've established the link. Run that program I gave you and you'll have everything that they know."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Not really, but it's too late to go back, isn't it?"

"I'm calling Shepard."

"What? No! I mean, not yet. There's —"

A large bang, followed by hissing of pressure equalization and the tell-tale clicking of locks as someone hacked the outside door, screeched across the recording. Corinthia turned back to the screen. "Do whatever the hell you want, Liara. Just don't let them catch you watching, alright?" She smirked, winked, and got to her feet, drawing her pistol and readying a grenade.

Shepard knew what was going to happen without having to see it. A group of krogan and salarian mercenaries kicked in the door. Without any discernible cover, Corinthia was left in the open. She managed to kill a couple of the salarians before the krogan tackled her, knocking the grenade out of her hand and leaving her unconscious.

"That was easy," the krogan growled.

"Trap?" one of the salarians asked, examining the console.

"Possibly. Don't know what else she'd do."

"Look at this..." The salarian leaned over the screen. "The ship's log says... Damn... Just get over here!"

The krogan came over. "What is this this time? Corinthia-Imreas? Who the hell is that?"

"She is the Reaper Incident."

"Oh... You'd think she'd put up more of a fight."

"That's why I'm worried. She tricked us once... Test her DNA. See who shows up."

One of the other salarians complied. "Tests positive for Enig and Corinthia-Imreas."

"That sneaky little bitch," the krogan muttered, almost sounding impressed. "What do we do with her?"

The first salarian turned his back to the computer. "Take her with us, what else? But the game's changed, gentlemen. That hundred thousand credit bounty just turned into a million credit one."

"What about Shepard?" someone off-screen asked. "Remember what he did to Cerberus for her?"

"Shepard's busy with Cerberus's little errands. Besides, he kicked her off of his ship. He won't be coming after her. Let's move, boys."

Shepard clenched a fist as the krogan threw Corinthia over his shoulder and they exited the ship.

"The remainder of the recording is blank," EDI interrupted. "Time stamps indicate the recording occurred forty-one hours ago."

Shepard nodded absently, mind working overtime to form a plan. "Track the merc ship."

"External cameras show that they made for the Mass Relay, but when it would not open to them, were forced to land on Ilos. Searching for coordinates now."

Shepard checked the cabin for anything else of value. Other than what looked like a discarded omni-tool, there wasn't much.

"Located significant element zero deposits."

"Loot them," Shepard answered absently, trying to get her omni-tool to upload to his. "Damn thing isn't even in... Wait... this is Prothean. What the hell is she still doing with this thing?"

"Commander?"

"I'll tell you later. Where is she?"

"With her omni-tool disabled, it is impossible to locate her exactly. However, I have found heat signatures which could match her attacker's ship."

"Plug them into the shuttle."

"I would advise bringing a party with you, Commander."

"Yeah... Fuck it."

* * *

><p><strong>12 Hours Earlier—Ilos<strong>

Briggs cracked his knuckles. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Commander, and so far I've been nice, but it's going to stop sooner or later."

They had been at this for hours, with no results. Briggs had been told that he would be dealing with Ariadne Enig, an art dealer, not a Spectre. Cornithia hadn't looked like much, but the little spitfire had reacted in two ways to the interrogation: never stopped talking and told him nothing. No matter what drugs they pumped into her or methods they used, she still avoided questions as tactfully as a government agency. The Shadow Broker had ordered that they extract any and all information from her regarding Shepard, the Reapers, and Cerberus, but so far all they'd been able to understand was that things existed, and that was only after they'd put enough truth serum in her to drug an elephant. Before that, she'd been singing songs, talking to someone named "Imree", and given them a very detailed how-to-lecture on sculpting male nudes out of marble, clay, and fur.

She raised an eyebrow. "Oi! Yeh 'ear that, mate? 'E 'asn't been all that kind to me, now, 'as 'e?" she slurred in a terrible Scottish/Irish accent. "I see clouds of bubbles! Pretty bubbles in the air! 'Igher they fly, up to the sky!"

The krogan, Turz, put his hands over his ears. "Make her shut up!"

"And have to restart the interrogation?" the salarian, Mikka, answered. "No. This has to continue."

"You'd think we're supposed to be torturing her," Turz muttered. "After ten hours tied to that chair, I'd be talking."

Corinthia rolled her head around and focused on them. "Now, now, boys. Be nice. This is my first concert." She shifted her legs a little, though she couldn't go very far because they were tied to the chair. Her hands were cuffed together behind her back. "Though I might be off a bit because my shoulders hurt. You ming?"

Briggs seized her throat. "Where is Shepard?"

"Wherever he is."

"Where is he?"

"Wherever he is."

"Do you know where he is?"

"I have an idea."

"So tell me!"

"Tell you what? How to make a —" Briggs punched her jaw before she could suggest something else. She blinked and shook off the pain. "Shit. Didn't know you had it in you, love. Good to know you've at least got a little bit going for ya."

Briggs took out a knife and pressed it against her cheek, the tip hovering dangerously close to her eye. "Tell me everything you know about Cerberus."

"Why?"

"Because I'll take your eye out if you don't."

Corinthia's eyes narrowed, making it more than clear that whatever drugs they had given her had worn off long ago. "Listen to me, you imbecile," she hissed, "you can't hurt me. Not really. You need me alive. I'm worthless to you dead and you know it. You can't even knock me out because your lives depend on me and you know it." Her smirk widened. "Funny how things can turn around on you like that. Even if you can extract what you need to know, you're stuck in this system. The only reason you got in here is because I let you in, and you'll need me to let you out."

Briggs backed off and glanced at Turz and Mikkel. They nodded and exited the hold.

"Gonna check on my ship, are you? Try and hack it? Good luck," Corinthia continued. "I've got the best firewall system in the galaxy. I don't even allow remote access."

Briggs bristled, hating to admit that she was right. This was not how it was supposed to be going. They were supposed to be the attackers, not her...

"You're supposed to be a goddamn artist..." he whispered.

"Yeah... I dabbled. Decided I like kicking ass better. Or, at least, metaphorically. Can't really kick you right now. Not that it'll stop me. Before this is over, I'm personally going to snap your neck."

* * *

><p><strong>The Present<strong>

Shepard stepped out of the Kodiak onto Ilos, a chill running up his spine. He'd landed almost exactly where Joker had dropped the Mako; Shepard could still see the imprints from where the tires had wrecked the earth, even if the outlines were overgrown and fuzzy from the green moss that grew everywhere. There were scorches from gunshots, grenades, and geth malfunctioning. For a moment, he lapsed into memory: himself, Wrex, and Corinthia, all fighting. Corinthia had cackled like a witch when she hacked the geth. Wrex had argued with Shepard about hogging kills. Saren had known he was going to die, but Shepard had mistaken that knowledge for fear. It all seemed like a lifetime away, but it was only two years—

Two years. He'd died two years ago to the day. For a brief moment, he wondered how Corinthia had mourned, but within seconds his mind was back on the task at hand as several geth rounded the corner.

"Those fuckers are still here?" he hissed, drawing his assault rifle and readying his biotics.

"My scans indicate that they never left," EDI said into his ear.

"It was a rhetorical question," Shepard growled, tossing a singularity at the first geth and efficiently dispatching the others. "What else am I going to run up against?"

"You are five hundred meters from the crash site."

"Crash site? You never said anything about a fucking crash!"

"I was unable to determine that was the cause of the heat signature until this time, Commander. I am detecting several life forms, as well as nearly a dozen inorganics."

"Am I at least in the right place?" Shepar demanded, heading in the direction his helmet map indicated.

"I am ninety-seven percent sure that you are."

"That's comforting..." Shepard ducked into cover behind a Prothean statue. "Tell me again how Cassie ended up with sole access to this fucking place?"

"My records show that she purchased the exclusive rights to the Mass Relay, providing the Alliance and Council with contingent access privelages as well."

"So..."

"She bought the relay," Joker summarized. "Sounds exactly like something Ci-Ci would do."

"You're telling me... Where did she even get that much money?" Shepard muttered through clenched teeth, shooting several other geth attackers.

"Commander, I don't know if you realized, but Ms. Enig's art sells for nearly five hundred thousand credits per work. The Hellas Galleries are the sole providers of Prothean art to the galaxy. They do nearly two hundred million credits worth of sales per fiscal year."

"Great. I'm in love with an art tycoon."

"I believe you already have a piece of hers."

"Yeah, because she hung it up in my cabin — Look, just keep me on the right track."

In fifteen minutes, he spotted the mercenary ship. It wasn't very big, but there were several krogan patrolling the area. No one looked happy. As a matter of fact, they all looked a little stressed.

"EDI?" Shepard whispered. "That ship functional?"

"It would seem not to be, Commander."

"Security?"

"Minimal. You should be able to enter undetected, if you are careful."

"And Ci-Ci?"

"I am unable to determine her current location."

Shepard gritted his teeth and surveyed the scene once more. Three krogan, four salarians, a few humans, and an asari, all in various mercenary uniforms. Judging by the fact that they jumped at small noises, the scorch marks, and bodies, they'd been attacked by the geth as well.

"Alright, fuck this. I'm going in." Shepard stepped out from behind cover, deftly dispatching one of the salarians before the others countered.

"Shit! It's Shepard!" the asari shouted. "Kill him! Tell Briggs that we're under attack!"

Shepard regretted not bringing a team, but in all honesty he wanted to do the mission alone. His restlessness had been getting to him, for one, and second, he didn't want anyone listening to him and Corinthia argue again.

"Where the fuck is Briggs?" the asari shouted.

Shepard dispatched one of the krogans and used his biotic shockwave to toss the others into the air. He put a bullet through the asari's forehead as she flew past him, exploded two salarians with a grenade, and finished off a krogan with a shot in the eye. He didn't even look back as he killed the last salarian attempting to sneak up behind him.

He cracked his neck and let his biotics cool. He'd forgotten the rush of pleasure he got from coldly killing things; he liked it. He stepped inside the ship, a smirk trailing across his lips: this was going to be fun.

The interior of the ship looked like very other freighter he'd been in. Some idiot probably publicly posted the plans, Shepard through, automatically knowing which doors to go through to get to where he needed to go.

Ahead, he heard muffled shouts, shots, and what sounded like evil laughter. "EDI? What's going on?"

"I've been blocked from all systems. It seems that the Shadow Broker is in control of the ship."

"Shit." Shepard rammed his shoulder into the door. "Fucking thing won't open... You said omni-gel doesn't work anymore, right?"

"You'll have to manually bypass the lock circuits, Commander."

"And this is why I bring Ci-Ci along..." Shepard muttered, flipping his pistol around to knock open the controls with the butt.

"Commander, you will permanently damage the door that way," EDI warned.

"Well, then, how would you do it?" Shepard asked sarcastically.

EDI started giving him instructions. Shepard wasn't in the mood to be gentle with anything, especially because there was a fight on the other side.

"Fuck this," he growled after his fourth failed attempt at opening the door. He stepped back, pointed his pistol at the panel, and shot.

"Commander, the door has gone into lockdown," EDI warned.

"Stop giving me updates, EDI," Shepard muttered, tearing off his helmet and throwing it aside. He stretched briefly before creating a biotic field. He let it power up for a moment before he pushed it at the door with a feral yell. Metal tore, bent, and snapped, leaving a gaping hole and showing an empty room. Shepard stepped inside, glancing around for any signs of life. Other than an upturned chair, shed manacles, and some light blood spatter, the place was empty.

"She can't have gotten herself out," he murmured, going to the blood to scan it.

Confirmed: Corinthia-Imreas, Cassiopeia Iphigenia. Age: 25. DoB: 07 November 2149, the Citadel, Zakera Ward.

Confirmed: Enig, Ariadne Helen. Age: 25. DoB: 07 November 2149, Earth, United North American States, New York.

Shepard cursed and closed his omni-tool. Corinthia wouldn't have been so stupid as to have her DNA come up with two identities unless he wanted them to. She was making a point that she was Ariadne.

"Alright, Cassie, where'd you go?" he murmured. He could see that there had been a fight; hell, he'd heard the back end of it, even if it was only muffled. From the blood, she was injured, though possibly not badly. Escape outside wasn't an option, so...

He turned to the cockpit. The doors slid open before him. The hallway was littered with bodies, dispatched deftly by a practiced killer. Shepard's stomach dropped as he realized that Imeas was in control of Corinthia.

Someone screamed. Shepard sprinted in that direction, skidding to a stop inside the doorway just in time to see Corinthia snapping Briggs's neck.

"Told ya I'd do that," she muttered, kicking his body as she wiped blood from her face.

"Cassie?" Shepard asked, shocked.

She turned, raising an eyebrow. "You're early."

"What the hell are you talking about? And what the fuck did you do?" he continued, stepping towards her.

"Got rid of some ass holes, that's what, and made it pretty damn clear that I'm alive and I'm Ariadne," she answered with a shrug. "What are you doing here?"

"Rescuing you."

She laughed bitterly. "So Liara did call you? I knew she would... Still, you were a back-up plan, really. I wasn't supposed to end up on the ground." She knelt by Briggs and scanned his body. "C'mon, baby, tell me what I want to know..."

Shepard was still having trouble believing that he was looking at her. "It is you, isn't it, Cassie?"

Her eyes flickered briefly and focused on something behind him. "Yeah, it's me. It's all me." She flicked her fingers through her omni-tool's interface and put a finger to her ear. "Liara? You there?"

"I'm here," the asari answered.

"Get what you need?"

"It's too well protected. I'm not sure I can."

"Give me a sec..." Corinthia fiddled around for a moment. "Try it now."

"I have access. Cassiopeia, there isn't anything here."

"What?"

"It's been wiped. The Shadow Broker must have had a direct connection."

"Shit," Corinthia muttered, running her fingers through her hair. She flipped her locks over her shoulders and pushed past Shepard. "I'm headed to the cockpit. I'm going to see if I can at least get EDI to look. Oi, EDI, you there?"

"I'm here, Ci-Ci."

"Corinthia, please," Corinthia corrected distractedly. "I'm going to give you an in. See if you can get past the firewalls."

Shepard watched Corinthia, his mouth agape. "Cassie..."

"Not now," she answered, waving him off.

"I just saved your ass and you're telling me not now?"

"You didn't save anything," she snapped. "I had this all taken care of. I'm not some wilting flower, you know."

"You were sure as hell acting like it."

Corinthia stopped her movements and faced him, eyes narrowed. "I believe that this is the whole reason I left, hm?" She gestured around her. "The fact that I can take out a ship of mercenaries and the guards outside don't even know? Getting access to the Shadow Broker himself?"

"I'm in!" Liara squealed excitedly.

"EDI, work with her. Daddy and I are having a conversation," Corinthia interrupted, muting the transmission. "So?"

"So what?" Shepard answered, crossing his arms.

"Why did you come charging after me?"

"I just told you! To save you!"

"John, I'm still a Spectre. So, yeah, I got a little carried away with the whole boyfriend thing, but I've got a job to do and I'm doing it. You're off running errands for Cerberus and I'm trying to track down the only thing that I know has contact with the Reapers."

"Like I have a choice."

"Yes, you do. You could've stolen the Normandy, joined back up with the Alliance, and kept hunting the Reapers!"

"What the hell was I supposed to do? Let those colonists die?"

"No! But you could at least be in charge of finding out what the hell was going on rather than confirming that bastard's guesses!"

"You never cared about that until now."

She crossed her arms. "I did, but I wasn't saying anything because I wanted you too much and that distracted me completely."

He stared her down for a long moment. "You aren't coming back."

"No, I'm not."

"So we're over?"

"For now, yes."

He gritted his teeth and clenched a fist. "Alright, Imreas, if you say anything else..."

"It's not her, Shepard, it's me." Corinthia shut down her omni-tool. "Look, do you think I want to do this?"

"You sure as hell sound like it."

She pointed over his shoulder. "She's standing there, right now. I'm a fucking schizophrenic with a split personality. I'm a danger to you and your mission. We can't trust the Illusive Man because he only cares about humanity. I'm almost positive that he knows about the Reapers, more so than anyone else living, and that he's been experimenting with Reaper technology. I think you're the prime example of it. The only reason I haven't hunted that bastard down myself is because he's the only reason you're living and breathing."

Shepard didn't know what to think. "I've never seen you like this..."

"This is far closer to what I became after you died," she murmured guiltily. "What I was doing on the Normandy... I was trying to remember what it had been like before. I lost control. I over-exaggerated. I—" She stopped as her omni-tool flared up. "I think we need to leave. Now." She grabbed his arm and tore towards the exit.

"What the fuck?" he demanded, throwing her grip off and leaning down to pick up his helmet.

"That ship's about to explode," she answered, leaping into the open air of Ilos. She landed hard and rolled to her feet, ignoring the pain of being barefoot and in nothing but light pants and shirt.

"Do you have a detonation proximity?" Shepard shouted, sprinting next to her.

"Just keep running!" she answered.

"How about a countdown?"

"EDI!"

"Three minutes," EDI answered. "There is adequate cover to the west."

Corinthia skittered, arms flailing as she course corrected to run that way. Shepard heard the geth before she did, putting a barrier between them and throwing her behind him. She pulled his pistol off his belt and started shooting.

"It would've been nice to know the GETH WERE HERE!" Shepard hissed at EDI.

"I am still attempting to help Ms. T'Soni recover as much information as possible," the AI answered.

Corinthia knocked a thermal clip out of her weapon. "Give me the coordinates, EDI, and I'll get us out of here."

"Uploading now."

Shepard tossed Corinthia a new clip. "Where's your armor?"

"I don't know. I woke up wearing this," she answered, not flinching as a shot whizzed past her.

Shepard smirked. It was almost like Elysium, except that this time they had the upper hand. Corinthia dispatched a geth and started hacking another. "Hey, that program still works... Groovy."

"Groovy?" Shepard repeated.

"Better than 'fucking a'."

"What does that mean, anyway?"

"Not a clue. On your left."

Shepard destroyed the geth before it could even get close, but in doing so dropped his biotic barrier. Corinthia darted past him, ignoring the enemy fire and focusing on a point ahead of them.

"Ninety seconds," EDI warned.

Shepard charged after Corinthia, finishing off the geth as he passed.

"Don't bother, Shep! They'll be dead again soon," Corinthia hissed, returning to drag him away.

"Thirty seconds."

They were already going all-out, but they still sped up. Corinthia stopped just short of a fifteen-foot drop. Shepard wrapped an arm around her chest and pulled him against her before she toppled over.

"You don't expect me to catch you, do you?" he demanded.

"Five seconds."

"Hell no!" Corinthia answered, grabbing his hand and jumping.

They landed, hard. Shepard rolled and pinned her to the ground as the explosion shook the earth. She pressed herself against him and sucked in air.

"You alright?" he asked, his concern surfacing for a brief moment.

"Think so... Might've twisted my ankle, but I'll manage." She sat up and glanced up at the smoke. "Well, that was fun."

Shepard burst out laughing. After a moment, she did too, falling forward towards him and draping her arms around her shoulders. He held her against him and fell back onto the ground.

"Shit, Ci-Ci, it's more fun destroying stuff when you join in."

"Cassie," she murmured.

"Why not Ci-Ci?"

"I've grown out of it."

"Alright, Cassie." He stopped and brushed her hair away from her face. He'd been in "fighter mode", so he hadn't been able to see the bruises and cuts marring her visage. "What'd they do to you?" he murmured.

"Nothing horrible," she replied, tonguing a swollen lip. "Tastes coppery, though."

"Medi-gel?"

"Nah, I'll survive. You don't look too bad, either. Bloody in the face..."

"Not mine."

"Thought so." After a moment of gazing into his eyes, her expression softened. "You know why I can't come with you just yet, don't you?"

He nodded and leaned his forehead against hers. "I know. Mordin and Miranda want to help, though. Now that we know what's happening to you..."

"It isn't that simple."

"I don't care. I need you beside me."

"John..."

"In all capacities. Even if you can't be my girlfriend. Even if you're just there to spy on me. I don't care. It won't be the same. I've gotten to know the crew. I'm not..."

"Yeah," she finished for him, understanding completely. "Then I guess it's me that's not ready."

"Don't say that..."

"No. Let me explain. Being a Spectre is cool and all, but it just doesn't make sense to me if I'm not doing it for a reason... I'm re-joining the Alliance."

Shepard blinked. "I thought you were through with them."

"Things are changing. Quickly. It's... complicated, but it's where I have to be. I know it. Being Ariadne was just selfish of me. I wanted to get away from all this..." She gestured around, eyeing the flaming trees. "But the fact is part of me is always waiting to blow something up."

"Hence why you have Xerxes."

"Yeppers." She smiled kindly. "I guess my point is that we can't be first for each other, not right now."

"Doesn't mean I like it."

"And I agree, but you know that I'm right. It was different with Saren. We knew what we were fighting and what it was going to mean if we failed. The Collector thing is just confusing and almost... irrelevant in the scheme of things — like the Illusive Man is exploiting you while he still has the leverage. He—"

"Are you going to keep talking or can I kiss you yet?" Shepard interrupted harshly.

She blinked. "Seriously? After me doing possibly THE most immature thing I could? I thought that—"

He pressed his lips against hers, fiercely letting her know that he didn't give a damn about what had happened before. She answered in like, fingers digging into his neck and hissing as his teeth grated her split lip.

"One last thing," she gasped as he turned his attention to her neck.

He growled some kind of answer, hands roving across her body.

"No more sex-bunny," she continued breathily.

He brought his lips back to hers for a long, intense moment before purring, "What do I get instead?"

"We'll figure something out when you don't have your armor on," she answered, extracting herself from his grasp.

He closed his eyes and fell back on the ground with a groan. "Cassie, you're killing me..."

"Not yet." She held out her hand to help him to his feet. "But I'm glad to know that we can still kiss and make up."

"Doesn't mean I'm still not pissed at you."

"Doesn't mean I've changed enough, either."

"That isn't what I meant and you know it. I just..."

"You were right. I was immature. It's said and done, now, and I think it's going to turn out better this way."

He nodded and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Alright. I'll be patient, but I can't promise that I'll be able to let you leave without a stop on the Normandy."

"You have to take me back to the Citadel, anyway. That piece of shit in orbit was only meant to get me here in the first place. It'll self-destruct, too, before long."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "You're just on an explosion kick, aren't you?"

"Yep, pretty much. Well, shall we?" She gestured towards the wall. "Uh... well... how shall we?"

"EDI, get the Kodiak over here," Shepard radioed.

"Oh. Right. I knew that," Corinthia muttered, blushing.

"You're not in any condition to walk," he answered grumpily, indicating her skinned knees, bruised legs, and highly-swollen and purple left ankle. "That looks broken."

She gingerly tested her weight on it, hissing in pain. "Yes. Yes it is."

He sighed and looped his arm around her waist. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me?" she offered helpfully. "Brush my hair? Ooh, yeah. That sounds nice... And a massage, a spa, a manicure... Mm. That's right."

He shook his head. "You were acting all bad-ass back there. That was... enticingly sexy. And now... Now you're going soft on me again."

She snickered. "That's what she said."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN 14 February 2012: **This is, in all likelihood, the last chapter I will post until the release of _Mass Effect 3 _in March__ and my subsequent playthrough. I feel that in order to adequately finish the story within_ ME2_ that I must know the end in_ ME3. _Thank you everyone for reading and I look forward to an update in (hopefully) 3 weeks. As such, readers should be aware that there will be major spoilers regarding the newest installment of the game once I begin writing again. I'll try and make sure that everyone will have time enough to play _Mass Effect 3 _for themselves (since there is still the final mission for me to cover here, as well as DLC), and there may be more time between chapter updates because I'll probably need to play the newest game three or four times before I can adequately finish Shepard and Corinthia's story. I will also probably be editing the previous chapters, so if anyone has anything that they notice I got wrong/irked them, please let me know so that I can fix it while I have the chance! Thanks!_


	59. Author's Explanatory Note: An Update

**_This is an Author Note/Update. PLEASE READ!_**

_Hello everyone! Well, this is "chapter" is serving as purely informative. Granted, this is rather out of the ordinary, but I feel it necessary._

_As some of you may have seen, I have been editing and revising the previous chapters of this story to be a bit more sophisticated and mature. I am currently in the process of doing this, having updated chapters 1-4 and nearly doubling them in length. The intention is for me to do this to all 58 chapters before continuing into Mass Effect 3._

_Yes, I have played it. Yes, I have seen all the endings. No, I will not tell you how it all ends. The majority of my story to date was well thought out over nearly two years; Mass Effect 3 is going to have the same treatment... though not over that long a period of time, but as I revise the previous content._

_On that note, I would like to comment on a few of my intended changes. By putting them here, it will save you the necessity of re-reading when the time comes (after all, this is about 300+ pages long in a Word Document):_

1) All decisions Shepard makes will remain the same. However, the conflict around them and reactions to them will differ.

2) All edits to Mass Effect 1 (Chapters 6-30) will be expansion, with little to no content addition. Particular things I am adding: Ash Williams having a crush on Shepard and a bit of open jealousy between her/Corinthia, building Liara and Corinthia's friendship, building Shepard's friendship with Garrus/Wrex/Alenko. Shepard's character will be much colder, but, again, he will make the same decisions. Also, I'll tone down the romantic tension because he's in serious denial of his affections for Corinthia until she's nearly killed on Eden Prime.

3) Chapters 2-4 have been expanded and updated, mostly with the purpose to make Shepard colder and more ruthless. I was never pleased with his initial character and always imagined him being more distant and "condemning"; I have attempted to change that. Chapter 1 (their enlistments) has been updated to more accurately show Shepard's history with the Reds. Chapter 2 (the Blitz) only has major changes to the last section, where Shepard and Corinthia receive Stars of Terra. Chapter 3 (Akuze) give them different, more distant (as it would have been) interactions after the maw attack. Chapter 4 (Torfan) now narrates the entirety of the Torfan mission and Corinthia's reaction to it is very much different than her getting tipsy on her birthday.

4) Chapter 5 is completely new content, being Shepard's final birthday party and his first realization of his affections for Corinthia. The original chapter 5 has been combined with Chapter 6, so the Normandy's first launch is all one long narrative.

[Here ends the completed revisions]

5) Corinthia's role in Mass Effect 2 is changing. First of all, she is not schizophrenic. I am removing the idea of Imreas and leaving Corinthia with a whole mind. She will have other issues, but not as drastic or over-the-top. Also, she is keeping her scars. I had never really wanted to get rid of them, anyway, but I did because... well, I'm not sure why, but they're coming back. Obviously, this will change many things about the narrative in Mass Effect 2, but I am aware of that and working on it. Corinthia has matured significantly, but now it will not be a near split-personality difference between herself and Ariadne. Imreas's concept was always confusing to readers, from the feedback I've received, so she's 100% gone... although, Corinthia is much more ruthless in a fight.

6) Shepard's decisions in Mass Effect 2 will remain the same.

7) Corinthia's activities between 2183-2185 will have more detail, both in the chapters between and as she explains to Shepard. Now that I have played ME3, I can set up much better her missions as a Spectre and her reasons for hunting Cerberus and the Shadow Broker. Though she still fakes her death, Ariadne still remains as her new identity, though no longer her new life. Corinthia uses Ariadne as a cover between her missions to hunt down Reaper and Prothean technology with the goal of finding a way to detect Reapers, issue warnings, and ultimately destroy them. Her hunting Cerberus stems not out of revenge, but rather because she finds information about the Illusive Man's true identity (Jack Harper) and the connections to Saren. She is never able to confirm the Illusive Man's identity, but she suspects rather than knows that he is not only using Shepard, but is also indoctrinated.

8) Mass Effect 2 will have a major time shift. Originally, I had Shepard waking about 18 months after he died. The game specifically states that he was dead for 2 years and 12 days, so that is how long he will remain dead. As such, the dates of Mass Effect 1 may also be altered, but not as majorly.

After all of that is done, I intend to finish the Mass Effect 2 narrative (including Overlord, Lair of the Shadow Broker, and Arrival) and move on to Mass Effect 3, complete with what happens during the six months between ME2: Arrival and ME3.

I feel these revisions are necessary and I had begun them before I even played Mass Effect 3. They are in-progress, but I wanted to give an update to you, my faithful readers, so that you know I haven't forgotten... nor will I. If you want to re-read, please check back here every so often to check my progress. I will make sure to note discrepancies between the new versions and old; I may even wait to update ME2 until I've revised all my personal copies.

Regardless, thank you everyone for reading, favoriting, following. It is what keeps me writing and what is prompting me to improve my story.

~Stnemele


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